today at jen's house

If You're Still Coming Here . . .

noreply@blogger.com (Jen Wesner) — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 05:32:00 +0000

then please head on over to the new site and subscribe via e-mail. Then you won't miss a thing! :)

xoxoxox

DETOUR: PLEASE ALLOW ME TO REDIRECT YOU . . .

noreply@blogger.com (Jen Wesner) — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 18:57:00 +0000

. . . to the new Today at Jen's House!

I've transferred everything so the title will make sense.

Unfortunately, that means you may have to resubscribe to the RSS feed and email updates at the new site. Just click RIGHT HERE to be taken to the new site.

I do apologise for that -- but those small changes will make this little blog much easier to find.

See you at the new site! xoxox

On Being a Zillionaire

noreply@blogger.com (Jen Wesner) — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 16:24:00 +0000

From James2:12-13

Talk and act like a person expecting to be judged by the Rule that sets us free. For if you refuse to act kindly, you can hardly expect to be treated kindly. Kind mercy wins over harsh judgment every time.

If I had a nickle for every time I have judged instead of shown mercy, I'd be a multi-zillionaire. No kidding.

Just because you show mercy doesn't mean you overlook the problem. You can acknowledge wrongdoing without condoning -- or judging it.

Thank God His miracles are happening daily -- in your life and definitely in mine!

xoxox

A Week of Vacation Highlights

noreply@blogger.com (Jen Wesner) — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 22:34:00 +0000

Well, I'm back from a week of vacation. For us, that usually means visiting everyone related to us. For me personally, it always means spending time with my Mama, whom I love. Here's the lowdown, starting with the bad and ending with the best --

THE BAD:

This particular week was a difficult one for me. Because I am transitioning between medicines, I am basically your Run-of-the-Mill Wack Job. No kidding. I cry at everything (I never cry). I get upset over the most ridiculous things. I pick fights with my husband. I complain over why I can never be the winner in arguments with my teenagers.

Like that's ever going to happen!

I also dealt with a migraine that came and went the entire week. Thankfully, it's gone, and good riddance. Thank you Jesus -- seriously, for healing!

I think the most upsetting thing was a family situation that everyone accepts -- except for me, the truth-teller prophet among my family members. Talk about crying in the wilderness. Jeesh. I want a different gift, please, God. . .

Wah, wah, wah. Somebody call the Wah-mbulance. I need to get over myself.

BUT AS ALWAYS, THE GOOD:

The highlight was dinner with my sister-in-law, whom I love. She's Korean, and I've always enjoyed spending time with her. It was very good for both of us.

AND THE HIGHLIGHT TO END ALL HIGHLIGHTS:

The Greene County Fair.

For those Buckeyes among us, "Now that's what I'm talkin about."

Every summer that we can, we try and go to Ohio for this fair. When the idea that we might make a trip this year, my girls all screamed in delight: "The fair! The fair!"

I can remember pulling 3 little toddlers along in a Radio Flyer wagon at the Greene County Fair. After the wagon days, it was a wagon + stroller for the extra two that came along. One year, a photographer from the Xenia Gazette even took photos of the girls with some Greene County Sheriff's exhibit, and they were in the paper!

I indulged greatly:

One large cup greasy french fries with salt and vinegar from a spray bottle;
One very big Diet Pepsi. I caved as there was no Diet Coke.
One leftover sugar waffle (I always buy my mom a bag of five);
One genuine Bob Evans sausage pattie sandwich with mustard.
One funnel cake still warm.

My girls all played the cane game that has been there since I was a baby -- about 50 years now. Talk about a long-running thing. That cane guy must be really old. We came home with five canes.

We spent ungodly amounts of money on ride tickets and greasy, bad-for-you, absolutely delicious fair food. I got to see the 4-H sewing and craft exhibits. I saw the First Prize winning home grown carrots, which looked identical to the non-first-prize-winning carrots. I saw the biggest head of Kale I think I've ever seen. I saw antique teacups and the Grange building. I saw millions of rabbits in cages and some goats and sheep. I heard the auctioneer calling for bids on 4-H hogs. Barbie and JB competed in a Karaoke contest that featured about 75 versions of Taylor Swift's "Our Song." We got popcorn for free from my parent's church booth. I saw harness racing and sulkies on the big race track. I even got a compliment on my new tank top as we paid our $5 to get in.

Wow. What a week.

The things that uplift the spirit and soul aren't always straight from scripture. Sometimes they are provided by God -- via the Greene County Fair. Hallalujah and amen.

xoxox

You Learn Something New Every Day

noreply@blogger.com (Jen Wesner) — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 14:18:00 +0000

From Hebrews 9:

6-10After this was set up, the priests went about their duties in the large tent. Only the high priest entered the smaller, inside tent, and then only once a year, offering a blood sacrifice for his own sins and the people's accumulated sins. This was the Holy Spirit's way of showing with a visible parable that as long as the large tent stands, people can't just walk in on God. Under this system, the gifts and sacrifices can't really get to the heart of the matter, can't assuage the conscience of the people, but are limited to matters of ritual and behavior. It's essentially a temporary arrangement until a complete overhaul could be made.

23-26That accounts for the prominence of blood and death in all these secondary practices that point to the realities of heaven. It also accounts for why, when the real thing takes place, these animal sacrifices aren't needed anymore, having served their purpose. For Christ didn't enter the earthly version of the Holy Place; he entered the Place Itself, and offered himself to God as the sacrifice for our sins. He doesn't do this every year as the high priests did under the old plan with blood that was not their own; if that had been the case, he would have to sacrifice himself repeatedly throughout the course of history. But instead he sacrificed himself once and for all, summing up all the other sacrifices in this sacrifice of himself, the final solution of sin.

I've just had one of those "aha!" moments.

I have never really gotten this until just now. I have always understood that the temple and all were needed for the sacrifice, and it all had to be done a certain way, etc.

But I never understood that these were simply earthly representations of what is in heaven. I never realised that the holy of holies, the place where the priest went in, was a representation of someplace that existed somewhere else.

So Jesus went not into hell, laden with all our sins, and just "dropped them off" -- He actually went into the real place in heaven -- represented by the holy of holies here -- and used His own, non-sin-contaminated blood to make the sacrifice for everyone, just like the Israelite priests used to do for the people using animal blood.

Never let it be said that the bible doesn't reveal a new truth every time you read it. Cool!

xoxox

Sit. Stay. Look Right Here!

noreply@blogger.com (Jen Wesner) — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 12:38:00 +0000

If people can't see what God is doing, they stumble all over themselves; But when they attend to what he reveals, they are most blessed. (Proverbs 29:18)

We're in a situation in our family right now that requires for us to look right at God. And keep looking. The prayers are all about Him lifting our chins to redirect our attention right at Him.

This is difficult. There are a lot of distractions and we're all extremely ADD. Kind of like the dogs in the movie "Up" -- we're looking at God and suddenly our heads turn -- "Squirrel!"

But you can't see what God is doing if you're not keeping your attention on Him. It's only then that we are able to see what He's revealing and doing.

"Most blessed?" I'd say the payoff is invaluable. Way better than a squirrel.

xoxox

Grandma Goldie

noreply@blogger.com (Jen Wesner) — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 19:09:00 +0000

This is my grandma, Goldie Archer.

This is the one of the bible verses she lived out:

11 Smart people know how to hold their tongue; their grandeur is to forgive and forget.

(Proverbs 19:11, The Message)

My Grandma always said that if you couldn't say anything nice, then you shouldn't say anything at all. And when she couldn't, she didn't.

She did this this despite the fact that she lost her mother at age 3, and even after her father remarried and had more children, she was expected to be the "the boy" on the farm where they lived.

She did this despite the fact that her husband was a drunk who couldn't keep a job. She did this after she divorced him in the early 1940's, when you didn't do that, and you especially didn't do that in a small town where people talked.

She did this despite the fact that when her landlord and companion of many years (basically, her common-law husband) died, she was evicted from her home by this man's sister and other family. She never spoke a cross word against them.

She did this despite the fact that the rope factory where she worked for 20+ years gave her less than $100/month as a pension when she finally retired. She never spoke much about the rope factory at all.

She did this despite the fact that when she moved in with us to help my mother after my dad died, I would always leave the blender in the sink after I made a milkshake. I would never clean it up, and that drove her crazy. I was about 12 and she was in her late 50's.

My Grandma was a soft person. She could have been very bitter and hard from the way her life went, and yet she wasn't that way at all. She read her bible daily, and joked with my husband about how she was a Baptist and he was Church of Christ and he was never going to convert her.

After she retired from the rope factory, she worked as a housekeeper and nanny to two different families, who both loved her dearly. She finally retired in her mid 70's to an assisted living complex where they took good care of her.

She would have been 99 this past July 1. She left us for heaven on March 23, 2001, at age 91.

My Grandma Goldie was amazing. Her middle name was Marie, and that name is a form of Mary, which basically means "bitter." Goldie's life was full of bitter circumstances.

But she never let them make her bitter. Quite the contrary -- she wasn't sweet -- but soft, having a soft answer, or a wry, funny comment. She didn't raise her voice, and she was very kind. She was someone I didn't just love. I admired her.

She was a wonderful example to me. She was an even more wonderful example to my mother. My mother claims she could get at least three peanut butter sandwiches from an empty peanut butter jar.

And of course my mother hung the moon and is right up there with God and Jesus, so that right there should tell you a lot about Goldie. Her grandeur was amazing.

Lord, please make me worthy of my heritage and thank you for giving me Grandma Goldie as such an example of You in my life.

xoxox

Ow. Ow!

noreply@blogger.com (Jen Wesner) — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 20:44:00 +0000

Conflict.

Most of the time when I'm in a conflict situation, it's with one of my immediate family members (as in, one of my daughters). Seldom do I get into it with extended friends or family.

Unfortunately, sometimes I do. We all do; it's part of life.

I had to deal with a conflict today. And I gotta tell you, I'm pretty angry. I really want to lash out. I inadvertently hurt someone with something I said, and they --and several of their friends -- hurt me right back.

So God has blessed me with these gems --

From Proverbs 18:21:

21 Words kill, words give life; they're either poison or fruit—you choose.

And from II Timothy 2:1-5 and 14-17:

1-5Don't be naive. There are difficult times ahead. As the end approaches, people are going to be self-absorbed, money-hungry, self-promoting, stuck-up, profane, contemptuous of parents, crude, coarse, dog-eat-dog, unbending, slanderers, impulsively wild, savage, cynical, treacherous, ruthless, bloated windbags, addicted to lust, and allergic to God. They'll make a show of religion, but behind the scenes they're animals. Stay clear of these people.

14But don't let it faze you. Stick with what you learned and believed, sure of the integrity of your teachers. . .

It's so easy to respond to unkind words with more unkind words. Want to justify that behaviour? Here you go -- honesty is the best policy. Sounds good, doesn't it? Why not let loose with that verbal cannon and just let'er fly?

Because of these two simple facts:

Timing is everything.
Perception is 100% reality.

No matter what people deserve from you, it is what they get and how they get it that counts.

I hope you all realise that I am talking to myself here most of all. I am chief of sinners in this department. I am so grateful that most exchanges for me happen these days through written communication -- that way I can say something, read it, change it, pray about it, change it again, speak the truth in love, and then finally hit send.

So . . .

Lord, may my words today be graced with your Spirit. You've forgiven me, so how could I possibly hold a grudge against another? Thank you for your Son, in whom I find Your incredible mercy and the kind of forgiveness that took my sins as far from me as the east is from the west.

Lord, You are so good. Thank you so much for loving me. Please forgive me today. And enable me to ask forgiveness from even people who have hurt me -- because of Jesus.

xoxoxox

Hello, Old Friends Part Three

noreply@blogger.com (Jen Wesner) — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 14:50:00 +0000

I have had the most wonderful June and early July! Here's why:

I have the best friends.

Now I'm sure you think that you have the best friends. I'm sure yours are very good friends -- but mine are the best. Seriously.

Years ago, mine had a baby shower for me, a huge one. And this after I had not been to their baby showers, because I was going through infertility and couldn't take the emotional stress.

Mine did not let me pay for one meal while I was visiting on my birthday trip -- because I was turning 50, and because, as they put it, "You don't have a 50th birthday every day." And this after I had moved away and wasn't there for their 50th birthdays.

Mine clear their schedules when I come to visit. They drop mostly everything and make time and room for me to visit and be with them. They spend endless hours listening to me drone on about life wherever I live, kids and husband and life in general. We go to the same restaurant and order the same food, year after year. And this after I have not been there to listen to them at various times, because I only visit about once a year.

Mine will tell me I'm whining and to get over myself. They will agree with me that yes, I am crazy, and I probably do need a change of medication. They will tell me when I'm wrong in no uncertain terms, and to straighten up and fly right. And this when they could really just give up and go on to an easier, less challenging friend. It is hard to be friends with me. Expectations are high, and they live up to them. Consistently.

They communicate my value to them in infinite ways. And this when I am very nearly an abject failure in communicating to them their infinite value to me.

I don't have a lot of friends. You can count them all on about a hand and a half. There are maybe seven at best. Probably more like five.

But . . .

Most people don't enjoy the kind of friendships I have. They are deep, they are long, and they are precious. Endless people have entire lives go by without experiencing the kinds of friends that I have. And I don't just have one -- I have several.

I am no gardener. But these relationships are like plants. You grow them over long years of time. It takes patience and strength for them to grow. Pruning is hard; sometimes you have to cut away the dead parts. But the blossoms that result are far and away worth whatever pain was suffered.

So today I am thanking God for these relationships on which I cannot place a value; they are irreplaceable and priceless to me. I'm not sure there are even words with which to thank God for these people; they are Him to me in this world. I see Jesus when I look at them.

Have you seen Jesus today?

xoxoxox

Forgiveness

noreply@blogger.com (Jen Wesner) — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 11:21:00 +0000

Sometimes I get so caught up in the grace of God that I forget to ask him to simply forgive me for my sins.

I keep reading in the New Testament all this encouragement from Paul in his letters. They're all about growing in the faith, staying true to the gospel, etc. They are chock full of the richness of following and claiming the salvation Jesus has offered.

But it really hit me yesterday, as I was standing in the shower, reviewing my prayer list on the wall, that I need forgiveness. I am always so busy praying for other people and things that I just flat forget that I'm a sinner in need of that saving grace. At our church, we have communion every week, so that's a good time to remember the sacrifice of Jesus and to ask for His grace and forgiveness.

But for me, that really needs to be a daily thing. His mercies are new every morning, whether I ask for them or not. But asking for my sins to be forgiven reminds me that I am indeed a fallen, filthy person, unable to save myself, and apparently unwilling to stop doing the things for which I have to ask forgiveness.

Ouch.

And yet, praise God that I have this forgiveness immediately!

Hunk O Man started something in our family when the girls were born. We apologise and then are required to say the words, "Will you please forgive me?" It's humbling, whether you're the one embarassed to receive it, or spitting the words out despite your self-righteous pride.

When I'm the one being asked, I often will say "Of course, no need to even ask." And yet there is a need to ask. There is a need for us to humble ourselves and admit these -- let's just call'em what they are, shall we?

Our mistakes.
Our shortcomings.
Our failures.
Our screw-ups.
The ways we've hurt others by the things we say, or don't say.
The ways we've hurt others by what we've done, or haven't done.
OUR SINS.

It doesn't matter what these things are, because they don't define us. Christ defines us.

In this way we are reminded that it is Christ in us that is the Conquerer, and not we ourselves. The fact that we are already forgiven is beside the point; the idea here is to not forget who and what we are -- saved only by the sacrifice and grace of Jesus.

It's a pretty rudimentary point, but easy to overlook. Kind of like that "i before e" thing when you're spelling, or trying to remember which months have 30 days and which have 31, and singing that little song in your head. It never hurts to go back to the basics.

Lord, please forgive me of my sins today. Thank you for loving me enough to forgive them before I even ask. I want to follow you exclusively. Amen.

xoxox

Get Out Those Bath Crayons

noreply@blogger.com (Jen Wesner) — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 14:49:00 +0000

1-3The first thing I want you to do is pray. Pray every way you know how, for everyone you know. Pray especially for rulers and their governments to rule well so we can be quietly about our business of living simply, in humble contemplation. This is the way our Savior God wants us to live.
4-7He wants not only us but everyone saved, you know, everyone to get to know the truth we've learned: that there's one God and only one, and one Priest-Mediator between God and us—Jesus, who offered himself in exchange for everyone held captive by sin, to set them all free. Eventually the news is going to get out. This and this only has been my appointed work: getting this news to those who have never heard of God, and explaining how it works by simple faith and plain truth.

Do you ever wonder what your purpose is, why you're here? Well, there you have it, plain and simple, right from Paul to Timothy and straight from the voice of God to our eyes and ears.

When I got home from vacation, I got a fresh look at my shower wall. I think I need to add some names. How about you?

xoxox

Bear With Me . . .

noreply@blogger.com (Jen Wesner) — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 04:20:00 +0000

This this is all screwed up and I can't figure out why. But I am working on it!

xoxox

p.s. I think it's fixed now. . . .back to 3 columns again! Sorry for the problem!

Home Again, Home Again

noreply@blogger.com (Jen Wesner) — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 17:01:00 +0000

I am back from vacation, and I have to say: I was never so happy to get out of a moving vehicle last night. Here's how the numbers break down:

10: The number of hours I spent in the van
3: The number of teenaged girls in it with me
2 1/2: The number of hours I spent driving with NO music playing
7 1/2: The number of hours I had to listen to Kelly Clarkson, Demi Lovado, Taylor Swift, and every other Disneyish type of screaming/singing girl on Barbie's iPod.
1: The number of hours of sleep I actually got while sitting in the back seat
80: The speed Barbie was going on I-64 in Virginia, where the speed limit is 65.
6-8: The number of times I told Barbie to slow down
8-10: The number of times Barbie rolled her eyes at me
3: The number of times we stopped for gas and/or a bathroom break
7: The total amount of dollars I spent on food at Burger King
4: The number of BK Mocha Joes I got at Burger King
1: The number of times Barbie drifted off to the side of the road
4: The number of times JB scared me while driving
0: The number of times I hope to be a passenger in a vehicle while one of my children is driving anytime soon.

God was good and faithful, as is usual, and we arrived home safely. We decided to spend a couple of extra days in Ohio, since we could. It was wonderful and relaxing and I was able to get a good visit in with Mom and Dad.

Hunk O Man and I also attended the North American Christian Convention, where we saw many good friends and were able to reconnect. Max Lucado was wonderful as the final speaker, and later we headed from Louisville to spend time with Hunk O Man's extended family in Southern Indiana.

His Dad's cousins, with whom we stayed, are retired dairy farmers. Carol Sue is an incredible woman with not just a steady, solid faith in Jesus -- but is also a sewer (3 embroidery machines; I was in heaven!), a master gardener, a "Red Hat" lady, and a weaver. She and I spent one rainy morning outside digging up daylilies for me to bring home. This woman is just amazing. She's a quiet sort, and yet has all these interests and is blessed with the gift of hospitality. We thoroughly enjoyed our time together. I even got Indiana-Amish-grown tomatoes to bring to my Mom in Ohio and more for the Boyfriend's mom here in NC.

So my June and early July were full of visiting "home" -- the places I grew up and lived for several years. My home here in NC has been much more brief, only 3 years. And yet this morning, after dropping kids off at the local community theater, I drove the 15 miles back home and felt such a sense of peace. I think this comes from being in the dead center of God's will.

This feeling I would not trade. This is home, at least on earth, at least for now. I do look forward to glory, but today, North Carolina is looking pretty good.

And now to plant those daylilies . . .

xoxox

New This Season

noreply@blogger.com (Jen Wesner) — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 03:47:00 +0000

9-11Don't lie to one another. You're done with that old life. It's like a filthy set of ill-fitting clothes you've stripped off and put in the fire. Now you're dressed in a new wardrobe. Every item of your new way of life is custom-made by the Creator, with his label on it. All the old fashions are now obsolete. Words like Jewish and non-Jewish, religious and irreligious, insider and outsider, uncivilized and uncouth, slave and free, mean nothing. From now on everyone is defined by Christ, everyone is included in Christ.

12-14So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It's your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.

With a house full of teenaged girls, the magazines that are often seen around our house are fashion magazines. Put together with the fact that I love to sew, fashion is a big deal at our house.

It's not that we overemphasize it, it's just that we thoroughly enjoy it. We shop at thrift stores, and we refashion all sorts of things. Sometimes we buy new -- if it's cheap. And all of us look pretty decent.

I once heard a missionary speak about a tribe he'd gone to live with in some middle-of-a-wild-continent. He said that he tried to find some way to relate to the people. When he read them the scripture about Jesus spitting into some dirt and making a mud to put on the eyes of a blind man (in order to heal him), the people exclaimed "He's a Spitter! This Saviour of yours was a Spitter!" Apparently that was a big deal to these people, and suddenly they had found a way to relate to this God-Man of the missionary.

I feel the same way when I read this passage from Colossians 3. Putting on new clothing? I get that. Putting on the clothing of compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength -- even better.

Designer clothing indeed.

xoxoxox

Sliding into Home Base

noreply@blogger.com (Jen Wesner) — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 15:52:00 +0000

My brother wrote to me recently from Iraq. He said this:

I read something once that said:

"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming... "Wow! What a ride!"

I love the picture in my mind that I see when I read these words. It makes me think of the apostle Paul, who said these words in Philippians 3:

17-19 Stick with me, friends. Keep track of those you see running this same course, headed for this same goal. There are many out there taking other paths, choosing other goals, and trying to get you to go along with them. I've warned you of them many times; sadly, I'm having to do it again. All they want is easy street. They hate Christ's Cross. But easy street is a dead-end street. Those who live there make their bellies their gods; belches are their praise; all they can think of is their appetites.

20-21 But there's far more to life for us. We're citizens of high heaven! We're waiting the arrival of the Savior, the Master, Jesus Christ, who will transform our earthy bodies into glorious bodies like his own. He'll make us beautiful and whole with the same powerful skill by which he is putting everything as it should be, under and around him.

We're right there with him, running this race, jogging the marathon, ready to jump and land flat on our bellies as we slide toward the finish line, bruised, aching, tired, old, probably with a black eye, filthy, ragged, and proclaiming "Wah-hoo! What a ride!"

I personally need to remember this when I'm so focused in on my very small life, in my very small town, and my very small issues, only growing narrower and narrower in my view. This abundant life is a glorious ride! It is designed specifically to wear you out and use you up! Go for it!

xoxoxoxox

Vroom Vroom

noreply@blogger.com (Jen Wesner) — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 01:00:00 +0000

Be energetic in your life of salvation, reverent and sensitive before God. That energy is God's energy, an energy deep within you, God himself willing and working at what will give him the most pleasure.

Philippians 2:13

And that is why I love this book. Paul is so full of encouragement! For the past 3 days or so, I've been suffering with a migraine -- change of climate after a week in Indiana, changes in air pressure, whatever. All I know is that my head hurts.

But God's energy deep within me -- that is such an encouragement when all I've gotten done is some laundry. That energy will well up within me and take over. For now, after the sun has just gone down at 9:00PM, the headache is at bay. And I'm ready to let God do whatever He wants.

It's so nice to know that I don't have to find things to make myself busy. God is at work within me! All I have to do is make myself available to Him with a simple prayer -- Please Lord, use me today.

xoxoxox

Home

noreply@blogger.com (Jen Wesner) — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 23:56:00 +0000

I've been gone over a week -- I had a birthday last Tuesday (a rather big one), and Hunk O Man surprised me with a week-long visit up north to Indianapolis. I saw precious friends, gave hugs and kisses, rubbed noses with two sweet little girls to whom I am Auntie J, ate and drank my favourites, shopped a little, visited a lot, and relaxed. I didn't hurry, I didn't worry much about home -- I just began the next century of my life quietly and easily, and in the company of people I love. And in a place that has always felt more like home than any other place.

In a word -- it was wonderful!

And now I'm home again doing laundry and cleaning the kitchen. Hunk O Man has a birthday next week, and what with Father's Day, he decided to buy himself an Imax Theater for the living room.

Well, not really. I think it's only something like 50 or 52 inches.

The previous tv in there was at the point where you had to hit the side of it to get the picture to straighten itself out, so I didn't flinch when he bought this Imax. JB hooked it up and now the only problem is that there's no HD yet. Something about cords and boxes and the like. Also something about it needing to be fixed and eyes looking my direction.

I've been reading in Ephesians and just began Philippians, my favourite book -- and Paul often says "I thank my God for you." I love these verses because I thank my God so often for the friends I saw recently. And I thank Him for my family as well. Sometimes you get to have such a perfect week, or day, or moment, and you just think 'ok Lord, that's it, I've experienced it all and I'm ready to go.'

But we don't go, because there's still so much work to be done. My neighbors still aren't settled into a real ongoing relationship with Jesus. My kids aren't raised all the way yet. My husband's ministry isn't finished yet, and so neither is mine, since mine is to minister to him while he ministers to others.

So it's back to real life, and real work, and the realities of my relationship with the most important one, Jesus. On with the next half century. I'm armed with the Message and ready!

xoxoxox

June 9-14: The Wesner Week in Review

noreply@blogger.com (Jen Wesner) — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 02:30:00 +0000

Proud Grandma, Rose, Bug, and Proud Pappy

Happy girls, just graduated!

Hunk O Man, Rose, Bug, and Me

The grads and those beautiful sisters of theirs:

Babydoll, Rose, Bug, JB, and Barbie

Surprise visit from my sister K

** ~~ ** ~~ ** ~~ ** ~~ ** ~~ **

No, I have not died and the hogs have not eaten me.

(Thank God!)

That's what Hunk O Man always says when someone's been gone a long time; "hey, we thought you died and the hogs ate you!" Just to clarify: we have never lived on a farm, nor have we ever raised hogs or swine of any sort. And nobody has died. It's just been really busy around here -- crazy busy, if you know what I mean!

xoxox

A Rant on Struggling

noreply@blogger.com (Jen Wesner) — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 15:32:00 +0000

After being so grateful in so many ways, I almost hate to talk about this. But it's a reality of life, so while gratitude is always appropriate, so is the honesty of struggle.

And I'm struggling.

Not that this is anything new. My struggle began very early. When I was six, I was throwing up and having stress from hives. At twelve, I considered jumping out my second story window in order to kill myself -- and then logic (God's Spirit in disguise) prevailed, and I realised I'd probably only break an arm or leg, land in the bushes below, and certainly get into trouble for doing it!

At fourteen I went to family counseling. This continued throughout my teens. In my early twenties, I saw a couple of chiropractors who manipulated me and tried to put me on very stringent diets, to no avail. The considerations of suicide came far more often and were far more serious. More counseling followed, along with the occasional chocolate milkshake.

In my thirties, I considered at one point checking myself into the local hospital's "stress center." A counselor told me I should be on medication -- except that I was pregnant -- surprise! Later, another doctor gave me medication for seasonal affective disorder. Several times I considered running away to France and changing my name, disappearing from society entirely. Seriously. I would consider what name I'd have, and look forward to being bilingual, and wonder how I would live without my kids. Would they look for me? What if they found me?

In my forties -- actually, about 5 years ago, I saw a wonderful doctor who put me on something called Effexor. Once my body adapted itself to this drug -- it takes several days of unpleasant symptoms -- I felt like everyone around me finally saw the real me. Life was very, very good.

And then Hunk O Man lost his job, and we had to move, and my blood pressure was through the roof (a side effect of this medication). More medication was prescribed to combate the hypertension. We moved. We all coped -- I survived. I changed drugs to Cymbalta, hoping it would alleviate the blood pressure problem. I vowed to exercise. I coached and coaxed and held it together for my girls, who missed their friends up north. And then they made new friends, even better, and things began to balance again.

Living in the south has been, for the most part, quite wonderful. The people are gracious and kind. But slowly, I have been turning into someone I am not. My prolific creativity has ebbed to a creative bent with occasional spurts. I sleep a LOT. I have gained almost 30 lbs. When I sleep, I dream -- then wake, then dream, then wake, etc. I wake up feeling "end of the day" tired, and by the end of a normal day, I am bone-numbing fatigued. I crave sugar. I drink caffeine to survive, and then when I hit the wall as it wears off, I take a nap. And then another.

And then we have the allergies to virtually everything. And worse, the allergy meds!

Recently, when Babydoll asked why I was crabby, I told her that between the happy pill side effects and the allergies and the menopausal symptoms, it's a wonder I'm ever not crabby.

I feel quite useless, actually. My house is a mess, my kids are wonderful but I don't keep after them and keep them consistent as I should, and the people at my church wonder if I really exist. It's like Hunk O Man, this great minister of God -- and his phantom wife.

Waah, waah, waah. And yes please, I would like a little cheese and crackers with my whine.

Now before all of you go prescribing all sorts of remedies for me, please understand -- I don't tell you all this so that you will do that. While I appreciate (honestly and truly, I do) everything you will tell me, I am a complete and total information junkie. I will take it all to heart and try and process it and practice it. And it will be too much and I'll end up throwing my hands in the air and giving up.

So instead, I would ask that you pray for me.

I read this passage this morning, from Second Corinthians 4:7 --

We carry this precious Message around in the unadorned clay pots of our ordinary lives. That's to prevent anyone from confusing God's incomparable power with us. As it is, there's not much chance of that. You know for yourselves that we're not much to look at.

Yep, Paul, no kidding. Although I would like for this clay pot to function a little more efficiently if it's not too much trouble! A happy pill sort of loses its essential function when you become happy but fat and sleepy and lassaiz-faire all the time.

I also read this, from later in the chapter, Second Corinthians 4:16-18 --

So we're not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There's far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can't see now will last forever.

So often in my life I have felt like giving up. But not this time -- I feel instead, and am encouraged by a very good friend, to hit my knees. All this is so temporary. Discomfort and nusiance is gone in an instant. It may come back, but it never stays long. And what is ahead is just so much bigger and better. This gives me great encouragement in my struggle.

And while my body is struggling, my relationship with God is actually quite good; better than it's been in years and years, actually. Prayers are being answered, circumstances in my family are improving. God is so good to us! It's a stark contrast to the sorry state of my physical body.

You know, I really do get the whole thing about creative people being wacked out. We really are. Many are so wacked out that they accomplish great things while being unbelieveably self-destructive. While I am not quite that brilliant -- far from it! -- I teeter along the edge. I feel as if I have emotional cerebral palsy. I do my best to get along in my circumstance, and see others breeze through their circumstances, and wonder how that feels. How does it feel to be content and happy and able to let things go, and not have emotion blow through you like some kind of uncontrollable hurricane? And this without drugs? Is there a cure? Certainly there is hope.

So I am seeking Him yet again, knowing I cannot breathe without His grace and mercy, and knowing an answer will come in His time. Maybe it will be another drug. Maybe it will be a release from all the drugs and a healing. Maybe it will learning to cope with the current drug in a new way.

But it will come. He has given me faith, and I love Him for it.

xoxox

Divine Vitamin D

noreply@blogger.com (Jen Wesner) — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 12:56:00 +0000

Psalm 121

A Pilgrim Song

1-2 I look up to the mountains; does my strength come from mountains?
No, my strength comes from God,
who made heaven, and earth, and mountains.

3-4 He won't let you stumble,
your Guardian God won't fall asleep.
Not on your life! Israel's
Guardian will never doze or sleep.

5-6 God's your Guardian,
right at your side to protect you—
Shielding you from sunstroke,
sheltering you from moonstroke.

7-8 God guards you from every evil,
he guards your very life.
He guards you when you leave and when you return,
he guards you now, he guards you always.

I read this just now, this morning, and am reminded of God's goodness to me lately. So many of my prayers have been answered -- little things, really. But they seem like big things at the time. We have switched from our home phone to all having cell phones -- all 7 of us -- which seemingly couldn't be done. I have a job. Virtually all of our girls now have jobs as well -- one at Lowe's hardware, one at a local shop in the mall, one in fast food, one mowing lawns, one babysitting. We sold our lot that had been on the market for 3 years. The grandparents are choosing (in their usual gracious fashion) to be more than generous with the twins in helping with college. There is money for a new roof, and we are not in debt.

Life is just good right now. It's like being able to take a long, deep breath after feeling constricted and asthmatic for a long time.

So this Psalm sounds kind of like a lullaby to me. It's a reminder to me that no matter how I try and work out my individual life circumstances -- things that really make no difference in the eternal scope of things -- my help will still come from not the mountains, but the One who made the mountains. He never goes to sleep, never stops listening, never leaves my right side to guard me from harm, never even lets me get sunburned.

What a love! Do yourself a great favour and bask in it today with me --

xoxox

Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Lessons?

noreply@blogger.com (Jen Wesner) — Sat, 23 May 2009 14:54:00 +0000

So I'm reading along today in I Corinthians 10, and I come across this, Paul talking about lessons from the past and the way the Israelites really screwed up:

But just experiencing God's wonder and grace didn't seem to mean much—most of them were defeated by temptation during the hard times in the desert, and God was not pleased.
6-10The same thing could happen to us. We must be on guard so that we never get caught up in wanting our own way as they did. And we must not turn our religion into a circus as they did—"First the people partied, then they threw a dance." We must not be sexually promiscuous—they paid for that, remember, with 23,000 deaths in one day! We must never try to get Christ to serve us instead of us serving him; they tried it, and God launched an epidemic of poisonous snakes. We must be careful not to stir up discontent; discontent destroyed them.
11-12These are all warning markers—danger!—in our history books, written down so that we don't repeat their mistakes. Our positions in the story are parallel—they at the beginning, we at the end—and we are just as capable of messing it up as they were.
Don't be so naive and self-confident. You're not exempt. You could fall flat on your face as easily as anyone else. Forget about self-confidence; it's useless. Cultivate God-confidence.
13No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he'll never let you be pushed past your limit; he'll always be there to help you come through it.
14So, my very dear friends, when you see people reducing God to something they can use or control, get out of their company as fast as you can.

I know, it's a long passage. But so chock full of great stuff!

That said, I have a question. Why is this so hard for us to learn?

In my life, I always have believed that I would never fall prey to some sins. They were too big, or so terrible that I could never imagine myself committing them. I had a strong faith and good relationships with God and others. How could anything that bad happen? I knew what the bible said, and I knew that technically I could commit one of those sins, but really -- what were the chances? It was like those experts they put on the witness stands in movies -- they make them admit that there might possibly be a one-millionth of one percent chance that this or that could happen.

HOWEVER . . . I have sections of my life that I'd just like to cut out and throw into some kind of eternal fire that leaves no ashes or evidence of any kind. I'd like to go back in time and have a re-do. Where is the eraser? I look back at those times and I marvel at the person I was -- totally unrecognizable. I think to myself 'that wasn't me. Who was that person?'

Well, it was me, and there you go. None of us -- no powerful politician, no respected pastor, no wonderful parent that loves you, no sibling with a perfect marriage -- nobody is exempt. It may be a shock to learn that they've done some horrible thing, but then again -- why? Aren't we all susceptible?

That's why Paul warns us to be on our guard. Essentially, he tells us to never say never. He's so right! How I wish I didn't know this so personally! It is naive to think that we are somehow put in a special group of folks that will never do some big bad thing. Sometimes, we get so damaged by our circumstances that we become a person that nobody recognizes anymore as us. We do things we never thought we'd even think of doing.

And let's not forget that Satan is always looking to exploit any weakness, any little cracks in our walls. A little tiny crack in a dam can be responsible for an entire lake flooding a very, very big area and doing one heap of a lot of damage.

I know all too well that the ground at the foot of the cross is level. Nobody is better than anybody else. I live every day thankful that I have a God who loves me that much, and who empowers others to love me that much as well. And I do little checks with myself from time to time -- any cracks in the dam? Any stresses of life that are pushing me toward some big bad sin? Any thoughts coming in too often and lingering too long? Any junk that needs clearing out in my heart? Any pride rising up in my, only to go before the fall?

So this is me, today, cultivating God-confidence, knowing that the next step could be a stumble. The words "My gracious Redeemer, My Saviour art thou, If ever I loved Thee, My Jesus it's now" couldn't be more true . . .

xoxox

Finding a Balance

noreply@blogger.com (Jen Wesner) — Fri, 22 May 2009 14:59:00 +0000

Today I'm substitute teaching for a friend. He's the french teacher at the high school. Since this is french class, I'm requiring everyone who wants to go to the bathroom or get a drink to ask me in french. It's proving to be quite interesting how sophomores and juniors in second-year french have no idea how to pronounce things like "pui" and "j'aller."

So I wrote it on the board phonetically. Some of them are still doing without water and the bathroom because they refuse to say it. They don't want to look stupid, like "know-nothings."

While they are doing their writing assignments, I've had time to read my daily bible -- I Corinthians 8.

You know, I love how the bible is all about balance. Essentially, balance means that too much of a good thing is a bad thing. How true! How many bad things are simply a corruption of a good thing? Too much chocolate -- too much candy -- too much work -- too much play -- too much talking -- too much waiting -- too busy -- too much sleep -- too much!

Here's a quote from the first part of the chapter --

We sometimes tend to think we know all we need to know to answer these kinds of questions—but sometimes our humble hearts can help us more than our proud minds. We never really know enough until we recognize that God alone knows it all.

Once in awhile I have to just stop and admit that I just flat don't know -- but maybe I can find the answer. And sometimes I can't even find the answer. It's humbling to admit, and yet good to know that God really does know it all. And He'll tell me the answer if I simply ask. Is there any better advice for a young Christian?

And here is the best part of the chapter, for me:

But knowing isn't everything. If it becomes everything, some people end up as know-it-alls who treat others as know-nothings. Real knowledge isn't that insensitive.

We do love to measure things, don't we? We like to know that we're this smart or that tall. Or that we're this old, or that far along in our studies, or we've been a Christian this many years.

There was one group that really irritated Jesus -- the Pharisees. They were all about the rules and paid no attention to the "spirit of the law," or the reasons behind the rules. They were the types of know-it-alls to whom Paul refers. They were highly respected, and originally had the right idea -- but it became a corruption of the good idea when it became rules and laws and a constant measuring of everything. It gave them big heads, and some of them treated non-Pharisees as "know-nothings."

REAL KNOWLEDGE ISN'T THAT INSENSITIVE. Wow! Could Paul have said it any better?

The Pharisees like Josepheus (who provided the tomb for Jesus' burial) were the ones who were the good ones -- who realised that God really does know it all, and while they knew a lot, they certainly didn't know everything. They realised that there has to be a balance between the rules and the knowing that we can never keep them all.

There has to be grace. And there has to be a Saviour. We have to stop sometimes and admit that we just don't know it all, and that if you can't keep every rule, maybe you should just concentrate on the reason for the rule.

Lord God, please enable me today to be humble before these teenagers, to let them know that I certainly don't know it all, and that the best thing any Christian can do is pursue You in everything. Amen.

xoxox

Weed and Feed

noreply@blogger.com (Jen Wesner) — Wed, 20 May 2009 13:35:00 +0000

I just read I Corinthians 7, and I have to say -- I LOVE the version "The Message." I understand things so much better when they are in today's language.

Paul spends a lot of time in this chapter making a simple point -- cut out the peripheral stuff in your life that is confusing you; it won't make any difference. Be godly no matter what your situation.

I find this really interesting, because at one point he talks about being married or not, and another he talks about being a slave or being a free person, and yet another he talks about being Jewish or Gentile (non-Jewish). He brushes all these things aside as simple circumstance -- the main point being to obey God whatever your situation.

My mom and stepdad once came very close to divorce. This is no surprise -- I have come dangerously close myself. Most marriages do these days; many do not survive the challenge and break. Fortunately (there but for the grace of God go I), my marriage and my parents' marriage survived and is intact today.

I remember asking my mom why she didn't leave. She said this: "I'd just be exchanging one set of problems for another."

(My mom is really, really smart. And Godly.)

Again, interesting to me -- I never left my Hunk O Man because I just flat couldn't figure out the logistics of how I would be able to do it. I kept thinking I'd have to live next door to him, maybe in a duplex or something, so the kids would be okay. Kind of silly, I know -- indicative of just how screwed up I was then! In the end, it was wiser, more practical, and ultimately God's will that I just stay married to him. And 23 years later, I am so grateful that I stayed that words can't express my gratitude.

So today I read about Paul telling us all that it doesn't matter what your situation is, you're going to have to obey and live a Godly life no matter what your situation. If you think the grass is greener, you're forgetting about basic lawn care. You still have to mow and weed.

And a little "God's Turf Builder" wouldn't hurt, either. : )

xoxoxo

Living Proverbs 19

noreply@blogger.com (Jen Wesner) — Tue, 19 May 2009 14:42:00 +0000

Practicing Proverbs 19 -- it's no easy task.

The Bug is very impatient with me lately -- she's being an emotional teenager (for the most part). Because she's now 18, she's speaking to me as a peer, rather than a daughter, which means that the respect factor has basically gone right out the window.

So today I read Proverbs 19, and found these verses --

11 Smart people know how to hold their tongue; their grandeur is to forgive and forget

Definitely easier said than done! But God is enabling me and I have been holding my tongue. Let me reiterate the most important words in that last sentence -- GOD IS ENABLING ME.

19 Let angry people endure the backlash of their own anger; if you try to make it better, you'll only make it worse . . .

26 Kids who lash out against their parents are an embarrassment and disgrace. 27 If you quit listening, dear child, and strike off on your own, you'll soon be out of your depth.

I think these two verses make me want to cry, because they are both the way that the Bug is acting right now, and it is exactly the way I have acted with my own parents in the past. You just can't look at your own child misbehaving and not remember doing it yourself.

So today I am both asking God for forgiveness, and blessing Him for the grace He has shown me. I can now turn and show my child the same grace. Choosing to be angry back at her just seems kind of stupid.

All part of the abundant life -- and tomorrow is another day --

xoxox

He Knows My Name, He knows My Cell Number, Too.

noreply@blogger.com (Jen Wesner) — Sun, 17 May 2009 23:25:00 +0000

Today is my 23rd wedding anniversary. I am amazed that I have done anything consistently in my life for 23 years. And yet there is that Hunk O Man that I love infinitely more now than when I married him. I suppose even more amazing is that he loves me still, after all the joy and pain and heartache of 23 years and 5 kids. Once again, I praise God who is the Giver of all good things.

Yesterday, he and I (well, yes, God too, but I mean Hunk O Man and I) took a little trip to the beach. We stood in the warm sand and watched as the waves came in -- it was a little breezy, with rain to the north and south of us, so they were the kind of waves that come in kind of lined up, about 4-5 rows deep. The blue of the sky and the deep aqua of the water just brought a peace over me that only God can give. Wow. I do love the ocean.

We shopped our way home from the beach, stopping at various thrift and Goodwill stores. We also stopped at the Sprint store. In our efforts to curb costs, we have decided to forego our "land line" and go with all cell phones. However, it took a miracle God provided through a wonderful woman named Andrea to make it all happen. Believe it or not, it actually will save us money.

So last night and today, each girl has been beside herself with the new toy. Programming the ring tones, getting all the contacts in, etc. All but one have brand-new phones (which we got free). They have texted more friends in a half-hour's time than in probably all the time previous to getting the new phones -- because each one has her own number now, it's important to let everyone know. No more sharing a phone, or borrowing a sister's or mom's phone. Now each one has her own.

I have sat and watched all this furious texting and programming, bent heads with thumbs flying. And I realised that their excitement stems from something we all feel very deeply: to them, having their very own cell phone, their own number, means that people can now know their name. They are important, they have value, they have their own cell phones. 'It's mine,' they think. It's me.

And I remembered this: He knows my name, He knows my every thought, He sees each tear that falls, and hears me when I call.

I suppose we could add that He knows our cell number, too. And don't get me wrong - our girls (thankfully) each know God in a deep and personal way that no cell phone could ever replace.

But being recognized for who we are is so universal. We want to be seen, to be heard, to be valuable enough to our friends and family to matter. We want someone to know our name. And our phone number. And to email or text or call us just to see how we're doing.

So whether or not you have a new cell phone, or no cell phone at all, don't forget this --

xoxox