Mp3 in the music section!  http://tobyturner.com/music

It's kinda like iTunes, only it doesn't take 6 months to get there.  And it's not as pretty.

That baby is gonna be president. 

Well... prime minister.

HERE IS THE VIDEO!:

I actually watched Braveheart whilst editing it... it was actually really awkward.  I was editing myself making stupid faces, and William Wallace was being decapitated.  I mean... Spoiler Alert!!  Don't have read that last line yet!

Anyway - if you want the MP3 - head over to here:  http://bit.ly/threwitmp3

If you want some Free 8 Hour Energy shots - head here: http://bit.ly/free8hr

If you want some of these M&M's or something... well... you just can't have any.  I'm going to eat all of them!  Mu wa ha ha ah I have a problem.

Anyway - Much more awesome stuff shall come.  If you missed my SCARIEST MOVIE EVER clip, where I wear a dress... you must most definitely watch it HERE.  It is awesome.

Time for sleepy.

Bless your face,

Toby

WATCH!

I'm still trying to get MTV to let me post my interviews from the events... they're awesome!

Anyway.  Have great week.

LoveToby

I guess MTV cut out the part about cow-fisting...

I'll post some more videos from Boring, Oregon next week!

My sister Angie's house burned down.  You might've already heard about it from my Twitter.  She was still in it, asleep - but the doorbell went off at some point, so she had time to get out.  Her dogs made it out safely, but her cat died from the smoke.  His name was Merlyn, and he was freakin' cute.  Poor wizardcat.

Anyway - Angie and her daughter lost pretty much everything they owned.  She didn't have time to save anything, and she didn't have renter's insurance (maybe some of you will suddenly decide to get some now), so everything is gone. 

If you'd like to help, you can donate below.  Any amount would rock.  A dollar.  Seriously.

***Update.  I just put this Chip-In widget in here, it connects to the PayPal, but this way people can see how many donations happened.  We got around $240 donations so far, so the $0 is a lie!

I'll mention everyone that donates in a later post. 

If you'd like to read more about the fire, you'll find the news story HERE!

Also, look how cute she is!  Even post-destruction.  Aaw :)

Thanks!

Toby Meets Normal-Folk.

Toby Battles Normal Gamer-Prodigy.

There should be 4 more later this week from Normal Illinois, where I interviewed Amy Schumer, Jake O'Brien, some kids, some hippies, and a dog.

They might already be posted - check out setmefreemtvn.com, the videos are posted in the right sidebar.

Aaaamen,

Toby

Last weekend I was in LA - check out some of the footage of me interviewing Kat DeLuna in all my relative paleness at http://setmefreemtvn.com

This weekend I'll be in Normal, Illinois interviewing UFC fighter Jake O'Brien, comedian Amy Schumer, and some typical average standard Normal residents. 

Diggity,

Toby

It's HUGE.  Tons of well-dressed industry folk pay the $15 cover to hear first-person tales from the miserable childhoods that are common among people that tend to move to LA to act and write.

Unedited. 

Unfiltered.

Unbarrassing.  

Sorry... I had  this 'un' theme going.  Had to go with it.  You understand.

There it is again, 'un'derstand.  I'm on fire.

Focus. 

One girl read from her 6th grade diary, "Dear Diary.  I finally understand what love is.  I love Jonathan Taylor Thomas."

Another, a former singer in a defunct 80s Girl-Band 'Pretty in Pink' showed their first big-budget music video in which Fergie was an extra!:

Fergie at 2:02. 

Extralicious.

HAHAHA... get it?

It's the only show where you can laugh with (their current self) AND at (their sad, sad former self) the performer at the same time.  At last. 

I know.  Too many ()'s.  That's it.  No more.

Throughout the show, my view was blocked by one of the stars from Dollhouse, Enver Gjokaj's, head.  Then I saw he was with Dichen Lachman, which is funny if you watch the show... because she plays Victor's love interest.  Watch it!: 

After the show, I walked past Enver, then acted like I'd just recognized him, so I could go, "Oh!  Dollhouse!  Hey I'm Toby."  I congratulated him for being a successful actor during actor-drought.  Then he asked where we were going to eat, we said "Some awesome Cuban place down the street."  Then I told him to subscribe to my YouTube.

Then as I started to leave, I walked past Dichen, who is freakin' Australian!  So... I did my Australian voice, and she said "Hey, that's pretty good!"  Then I told her that I once dated a girl whilst pretending to have that accent.  "Wow.  That's dedication," she said.  Or not.  I forget.  Something in Australian.  Then I told her to subscribe to my YouTube. 

Apparently Enver wasn't actually with Dichen, she was with this guy Paul who looked like the bad guy from Die Hard 1 (maybe that was just his bleached-blonde spike-hair). 

Ok, one more ().  Had to do it.

Paul had a very firm handshake, totally bad-guy-from-Die-Hard-1-esque.

Anyway, subscribe to my YouTube.

Bless your face.

Toby

Go register HERE and tell me if it works! 

Actually that link might not work, I think he's changing it to forums instead of forum.  Just click the Forum thing on the top static bar (that thing rocks).

Speaking of that, check out the bar at the top of the page - it's freakin' sweet. And it has a little view/twitter counter, which is great for people who are like "Who the fck is TobyTurner?"  Kinda like my great grandma.

Alsheimer's isn't a joke, people.

Catchy thumbnail too, eh, dad?

Click here to go comment and rate!  

Michael Jackson Died!

It was posted on a couple forums last night, I should've probably posted this update to my site earlier... feel free to post it places!  This one girl's version already has 40k views because the title was just "Michael Jackson Died."  Ahh keywords...

In the updated iPod manual, Mac now includes 'Lightning Resistance +10%' in the list of features.

Here is a video!  Click here to Tweet about it - http://bit.ly/iPodTweet 
And click here to rate/fav/post a comment! - http://bit.ly/iPodArmor

MP3 at TobyTurner.com/Music

or RingTone at

www.pocketfuzz.com/tobyturner

Needy Doggy says, "Share me on your Facebook and Myspace!"

Well, I mean... I translated.

Tweet it! - http://www.tinyurl.com/RTNeedy
Digg it! - http://bit.ly/NeedyDigg

http://www.twitter.com/tobyturner
http://www.myspace.com/tobyjoeturner

To ReTweet it, click here! - http://www.tinyurl.com/ReTrek

I thought it was a great movie - JJ Abrams paired with Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci is a great combo.  Like a fine Jew-Mex trail mix.

Tanya and I saw them at a Fringe panel a few weeks ago, and JJ is actually hilarious.  Who knew?

We actually wrote and filmed this a week ago, but so much stuff kept pushing it back, so I'm sure we missed the YouTube Review Search Frenzy... but we managed to kick off a sweet new series!  I love character stuff.

If you're pissed at my lack of typical Toby-videos, they're coming.  Trying to find someone else with a sense of humor to edit them... they're quick to shoot, I'm just too busy to edit them!

If you are hilarious and somehow have too much free time... edit my vlogs!

Amen,

Toby

It's CRUNCH-TIME!


Whoever gets the most successfully-submitted votes for my Snap Contest Entry by May 13th WINS a beautiful Shirt from

http://www.districtlines.com/toby-turner

Even if I don't get top 5!!

What's better, is... if I get the top 5 on the contest, then the TOP 2 vote-getters will win shirts!  WOOO!!

Here's the link to Vote! -

http://www.tinyurl.com/tobysnap

If you haven't registered yet - here's the link to that -

http://if.net/account/register-age-check.php

When you Vote (you can do it daily), post the if.net username you voted with into a comment on this blog, or into a comment on the YouTube vid HERE - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LGemJ3l ... ture=email

If you find other people to vote, be sure to put your main username in paranthesis.  Like let's say you get your friend, or your mom to vote.  Put their username in the comment - like "MyMom103 voted today!  (my account is Bonar)"

Post once every time you vote - and include the username you voted from in the post, that way I can match it up.

Remember - You can vote once per day!

SHIRTS!!!!

I entered a contest about a week ago.  I started in around 360th place... and now the video is in 47th!

47th is great... but you know what 47 backwards is?  74.  And 7 - 4 = 3. 

And 3rd place would be good enough to win the underwater camera.

That's why I need you to VOTE! 

Here's the link:  http://www.tinyurl.com/TobySnap

Whoever gets the MOST PEOPLE to VOTE... wins one of the MASKS from A Friendly Collab!

A $475 VALUE!!

Registering is tough.  If it's too tough,  email me.  I will make you an account. 

Or - click this.  That's how you do it. - http://if.net/account/register-age-check.php

Put in your info.  Register, then go here - http://www.tinyurl.com/TobySnap and click the Green Check box below the video.

Every time you vote, POST in the Forum!  http://tobyturner.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=34

Include the Username you voted from so I can match them up, and whoever votes the most (you can only do it once a day per username), WINS!@#!

Here's the video on YouTube:

I definitely want to make stuff like this more often.  I have so many songs and product jingles that are un-recorded.  If you work for a snack company, message me with the haste of a thousand winds.

NoWittyNamesLeft did one too:

Awesome.

Maybe 'twill be the first in a series:

Click HERE for the full episode!

They have a huuuge studio now... rocked my mind.  Or maybe that was the half-beer, half-energy drink I consumed.  Mayhaps it was a bit of both.

Hopefully I filmed enough awesome stuff with my Flip video for you to go to NYC vicariously through me.  I love that freakin' thing... people just think it's a cell phone, so you can just aim it at their face and they think you're texting.  Intense.

I came to NY to do reshoots for a thing I acted in in Dec.  We drove to NJ and filmed from like 3pm to 3am at this seedy hotel - the same place we filmed at in Dec, where and a cop showed up and warned us, "People die here.  I hope you're not actually staying the night..." 

This time, 6 cop cars showed up to arrest someone for a hit and run.  6.

I also met up with Caitlin (thehill88 on YouTube) - and we had a fun little walk around Broadway.  She bought me a coffee, and I bought myself a bag of caramel peanuts from a NUT VENDOR!

Anyway - I'm gonna go EAT!  And sleep eventually.  Maybe.  I fly back to LA tomorrow at like 11, and then I'll try to edit some mo'.  Snap!

A bunch of you have suggested that maybe the lie in this video was that there was only one lie, because all of the stories are ridiculous. 

Some of the people that have suggested this are quite confident in their realization.  Dimitrifr3mont says, "Why use all lies, it just ruins it, and if 2 of them aren't lies, let's see some proof. I don't think you'll ever say which ones were the truth because none of them were true."

That sounds like a challenge to me.  And I'm not one to turn down a challenge.  I prefer to instead delete the challenge and block the challenger, and if anyone notices, pretend it was some sort of younger sibling that I only have when I need someone to blame something on.   In this case, I do actually plan to make a response video, I've just been mad-busy.  Also, only one of the stories is a lie - and I know it's old by now (2 weeks is a YouTube eternity), but calm down.  Read a book.  I'm still gonna do something soon.  I just have a couple more important things to tackle, like getting my XBox to work, and writing a song, and going to NYC to do reshoots on this thing I acted in. 

Which reminds me - get me in SAG, quick!

Ok I gotta go to bed.  It's 4 am.  What the hell am I doing...

Here's the original video - Check it out!  It'll totally have a million views by tomorrow (no joke).

The main guy from Twilight was eating in the booth in front of me, so I thought "Ooh!  This place is going to not suck balls!"

I was wrong.  Balls wrong.  

Alarm bells should've gone off when I saw that the only sandwich that didn't come with fries was the "Hamburger," but I ordered anyway.  

My ladyfriend got a salad instead of fries, but it was drenched in tons of the wrong type of dressing - so we left it on the side of the table.  

By the time the waiter came back into view, we were done with our food (except for the salad that had become more of a soup), so we asked if we could just exchange it with some onion rings because it had the wrong dressing, and I would totally dig some onion rings to go.

He smiled, then returned with some onion rings, then didn't come back for 30 minutes or so.  Eventually, I sought him out to get the check... and it had a $5 charge for onion rings.  Though it was supposed to be subbed out instead of the salad.

He wouldn't remove the charge, because he said his manager gets really violent and he would get in serious trouble.  I still tipped him, even though I told him I wouldn't if he didn't take the charge off.  He just sighed and said "Alright..."  

Somebody needs to hit this cute little place in the face with a wrecking ball.

Fortunately, some hoodlums broke in and stole everything I own...  soo...

Every $20 donation gets a free shirt from www.districtlines.com/toby-turner! 

Just 'cause I don't have any clothes doesn't mean you can't get new ones!

I will administer and receive custom long-distance-high-fives for each and every one of you. 

Plus - buy a FALCOR shirt for $13 with the coupon code TOBYTWOBUCKS !  http://www.districtlines.com/toby-turner

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS!  If you're Jewish, see if you can convince your family to let you celebrate Christmas.  Santa doesn't discriminate - just make your house LOOK Christian.  It's totally worth it.

I suspect I'll need to purchase mittens and/or earmuffs, or grow some giant eskimo balls - but I'm not sure how long that would take, or if it's even possible.

Soon I'll finish my demo reel and post it up here - one of my actor friends suggested I attend workshops regularly, but I'd much rather attend auditions.  I don't have an agent still, I've been a little apprehensive to sign anything, because I'm left-handed.  And because the ones I'm getting offers from don't have everything I want... like a coffee-stand in the middle of the building.  And a hot tub.  And snow!  Ooh!  New York!

Patience, me. 

Patience.

Message me if I left you out - I am mad-tired.  Basically overnight, tons of awesome pictures sprung out of the diligence of the BlogTV viewers!

LOOK AT THE AWESOME!  Me+Diablo 3... I think I'ma have a palpitation...  Thanks Razberi!

To see more pics, go to the Photos section, or my Flickr account!  Or watch the header - 2 new ones should cycle!

Someone told how to say "Toby is awesome" in Japanese -

Apparently it sounds like "To-Bi-Wa-Su-Go-I." At least I think it means "Toby is awesome"... It probably means something like "Toby is a big fan of the dong."

Here's the BlogTV recording (it's a 10 minute vid, but the japanese part starts right at the beginning!).

TOBY WAS SU GO I!

I was like "There should be some Raiden pic that is associated with this."  And tehskazz freakin' made this happen.

I look perturbed.  This would be a cool shirt... with the Threshold effect (like the F**K SHUT UP design from the Toby's Theme Vid) - and then the Japanese symbols under it.  A sweet sweet inside joke shirt.

SPEAKING OF SHIRTS!  5K337, Skeet for Judge, and the Floppy Ninja Disk Star shirt are all for sale at http://www.districtlines.com/toby-turner !  They're on sale for now - dooo ittt!  They'll ship around Dec 1st.

I leave you with one more pic, from tehskazz.  He titled it... "Epic."  Truer word was never spoken.

Well, folks.  Thanks for making the Internet awesome.

TOBY

Check out a freakin' sweet one JNFR made -

If you're Photoshop (or 'photo' something else, or something else 'shop', or something else something else) savvy, and you want to change the world for the better, take out the green and put me places!  The pics have to be 900x340 - but feel free to make em larger and I'll crop em/post them places in their full form (like the one above, created by JNFR - a shining legendary hero).

Here are the pictures that you can freakin' edit!

To see the blown up versions - go to the Photos section (click Photos on the navbar) and click em.  To download the full high-res images, here's the equation.  Starting with the top left one, they are numbered 1-10.  Good so far?  No?  Re-read it.

Type in http://www.tobyturner.com/static/images/greenscreen/greenscreen#.jpg , where # = the number. 

Type tha shi, and then right click and save as. 

Here's an example - to get the awesome evil pointy one from the pic JNFR made - this would be the link:

http://www.tobyturner.com/static/images/greenscreen/greenscreen9.jpg

If any of them don't work - lemme know!

When it loads, right click it, save it, then throw it into Photoshop.  Try not to make the image smaller before you edit it (or it'll lose resolution).  You can just drag the file directly into your photoshop and it'll make a new img with the same dimensions, then you can go to Image/Canvas Size and make it at least 900x340.  Don't change the Image Size, just the canvas, that way you can have the same sized Toby in a smaller space. Just like solitary confinement!  Yay!

When you're done, send em to greenscreen@tobyturner.com !!!!

Sincerely Word,

Toby Turner (T-Money Turntables)

Click HERE to watch the episode on The Stream!

What have I done...

Subliminal Message - Broadcast your self LIVE

Singy Words Singy Words - Broadcast your self LIVE

Freakin' subscribe at www.blogtv.com/people/tobuscus !!@#

More of the same shit - Broadcast your self LIVE

Subliminal Message - Broadcast your self LIVE

Floppy Disk Live!!!!!!! - Broadcast your self LIVE

If you haven't seen Stranger Things yet, it's an HD Sci-Fi podcast that a friend of mine, Earl Newton, creates. It was recently syndicated by Illusion Networks to millions and billions of homes, which is great for me, cause... I'm in the first two episodes.  Bam!

Wired mentioned the series whilst speaking of another Internet Sci-Fi show, Sanctuary, that is making its way to TV. This is what Wired freakin' said:

"It was a risky move, but it paid off, and when Sanctuary debuts Friday night debut on Sci Fi, the show will join the growing ranks of web-to-TV success stories like Fat Guy Stuck in Internet, Venus Rises and Stranger Things." 

Hot.

Check out the article here.

Check out Stranger Things!:

This is one I was in.  Check out that one loft that grew its way onto my forehead.  Well done, loft.  Too bad I had to replace you...

(B-T-W, XS is a club in Gainesville)

Tally Ho!

Why didns't thee come to ye olde club XS?
Thou missed a good show of me shaking mine ass.

‘Twas a school night, good miss, I shall go to-morrow,
though missing this shakery fills me with great sorrow.

Alas, ‘tis so grievous; I go once a week,
for shaking so nobly makes mine butt too weak.

Mayhaps ‘tis better, for I hold little doubt,
if your shaking I'd seen, I'd have passéd out.

Passed out, you claim? But from what, I dare ask!
From chugging thy amontillado cask?

Nay, my lady, ‘tis simple and plain,
I’d sleep from lack of blood to me brain.

But Sire, to whither could the blood have run
that would lay thee down at the shake of me buns?

Madam I must tell you, though I’m just a cracker,
my blood would retreat to my big tally whacker.

Love,

Toby

PS - Click the orange RSS button at the bottom of the site if you want to be plagued by email updates of my site updation.

She is growing quite the fanclub - which is fine.  I'm not even jealous.  Really.  I'm not.  Of course, if her fanclub size begins to rival my own, we will have to start putting them down, forcibly.

I was thinking about posting the vid and just selling the shirt through Printfection... but then I looked at my Printfection store again.  I noticed my shirts were now $25, instead of $19.99, and I hadn't touched the prices.

Alarm bells should've rang when my weekly revenue dropped to below a million.  And they did.  But I just hit snooze every 15 minutes for the past 3 months.

http://blog.printfection.com/printfection/2008/06/price-increase.html

Dark shirts went up $5!

Here's what I'ma do.  I'll have a new page for the store section with PayPal/Google Checkout purchase buttons for the t-shirts.  Then I'll pick some designs, probably just in one color per design, and order them.

Do you know of any excellent online shirt-printers?

As far as designs, what do you dig?

I really like the 5K337 one from AiPhone.  HA!  Just googled 5K337 for fun... and this came up:

Represent, tvmastermandude.  I just noticed "jizz" is in the tags.  What have I done...

I also like my shirt that says "SKEET FOR JUDGE."  I don't know if you noticed me wearing it in anything, but I wear it like once a week.  And there is an awesome, awesome tale behind it.  After I tell the story, I'll probably post that in the store.

Maybe that's too many shirts related to skeet.  Pish posh.  Osh kosh bigosh.

I must also have a Vitruvian man dingy-dong shirt, or at least hat.  Maybe a small logo in the pocket region of shirt?

I also love the GW BUSH/GI JOE parody shirt, but the time for that might have passed.  I'll think about it. 

I like the fob song shirt too, but I haven't even made a music vid for that yet!  The time is nigh.

Then, there's this new mysterious blue shirt that will kick.  The time is also nigh.  The time is extremely, very nigh, and it's nigh getting on my nerves.

I must also get on iTunes!  Nigh!

I finally started filming the music video for There's a Floppy Disc on the Floor (a song you haven't even heard yet). 

Technically, I haven't even finished recording the song.  But c'mon, what is 'finished' anyway?  Just a bunch of letters that a foreigner wouldn't understand.  Just like, "fibbly doo," or, "War on Terror."

My mom's in this one too, and better than ever.  Wow... she's been in Falcor AND Everyday the Wii is Gone.  She's a soldier.  She should have a bullet-sash.  Or maybe a bullet-messenger bag.  And it should be filled with millions of dollars.  Then I'd smoothly empty its contents into my bank account.  THEN, I would invest it - in online poker.  Or I would give it to the Joker, so he could burn it in a warehouse.  Either way, it would soon be gone.

Where am I?