To the Moon

Melvin Udall

noreply@blogger.com (jared) — Wed, 11 Sep 2013 18:18:00 +0000

Dear pretty girl. Before you subconsciously think I’m writing about you, please note, you're wrong. It is possible I’m referencing past experience, but don’t fret. I’m just writing about a girl dressed in a blue raincoat with red hair and blue eyes and mannerisms...I will decide because I’m the writer. Her figment takes up space I think somewhere between the heart and the synapse, and I can’t evict her, as if I don’t have a choice and she will stomp and curtsy where she pleases. She’s worth poetry and sleepless nights and the periodic Saturday rollick, which I will call a blog. The thing about writing about a girl in your head is that it may or may not mean anything. I will let you decide and only say rollicking is grand and so is writing, so I’ll let fingers do the walking.

I mentioned manner, and while I identify with Melvin Udall in As Good As It Gets, “I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability,” I have never written, per se, a woman. The thought is losing the “rollick”...but the girl in the blue raincoat is worth my brain space sometimes, particularly when she wants to be loved. Otherwise, it is better to think about teaching English and things to do in front of me.

You see, there is a wall. It can arise between anyone. It appears when no one knew it was there and then you can’t feel fingers doing any walking. You can’t hear any familiar voice. You don’t know if the other is there, and you don’t know...how to write a woman. I’m of the impression everyone can write something about someone. You’ve felt fingers grip yours. You know sarcasm when you hear it. You’ve loved and I think you can write. But you only sense the imperceptible wall that divides and puts the person in the raincoat on the other side, a wall in your head. A wall that’s imaginary and a girl in a blue raincoat that is you talking to you, a memory or muse. Where did that wall come from? Why can’t you hear me on the other side? Why can’t I feel you?

The girl in the blue raincoat maybe lives somewhere, and she may love wit and blue raincoats and a hand to hold her own. But she’s only a girl in a blue raincoat on the other side of a wall in the mind. I put her there. I wrote her too, and I expect not to hear her voice or feel her fingers...because I made the wall. She’s confined to this derisory attempt at writing a woman. And what if she walked up to me, and what if she wasn’t wearing a blue raincoat and never had? Who is she in front of me?

Am I also a man in a raincoat, with red hair and blue eyes on the other side of a wall in your brain? I watch you and think you’re pretty. Can our fingers to do the walking? Don’t imagine me. Please don’t put up walls. I can’t take them down. I can’t reach through. Can you hear me? I don’t want to be a talking raincoat man in your head. I want to be a person in front of you.

He who believes in me will never be thirsty. Jn 6:35

noreply@blogger.com (jared) — Sun, 24 Mar 2013 02:44:00 +0000

I may, I suppose, regard myself as being a relatively successful man. People occasionally look at me on the street. That's fame. I can fairly easily earn enough to qualify for the highest slopes of inland revenue. That's success. Furnished with money and a little fame, even elderly, if they care to, can partake of trendy diversions. That's pleasure. It might happen once in a while that something I said or wrote was sufficiently heeded to persuade myself that it represented a serious impact on our time. That's fulfillment. Yet I say to you, and I beg of you to believe me, multiply these tiny triumphs by a million, add them all together, and they are nothing, less than nothing, a positive impediment, measured against one draught of that living water that is offered to the spiritually hungry.

Malcolm Muggeridge

Have you ever spent time in the Bible and regretted it?

noreply@blogger.com (jared) — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 23:21:00 +0000

You want your life to count. You want to be free. You want to be significant. You want a great marriage and family. You want to make money God's way. You want to see revival of historic magnitude in our generation. Remember this. If you neglect the Bible, you neglect everything you desire. If you devour the Bible, you move toward everything you desire. This is how God works. -Ray Ortland

Enter in! O Enter in!

noreply@blogger.com (jared) — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 18:10:00 +0000

Lift up your heads, O gates!
And be lifted up, O ancient doors,
that the King of glory may come in.
Who is this King of glory?
The LORD, strong and mighty,
the LORD, mighty in battle!
Lift up your heads, O gates!
And lift them up, O ancient doors,
that the King of glory may come in.
Who is this King of glory?
The LORD of hosts,
he is the King of glory! Selah
(Psalm 24:7-10 ESV)

24:7-10 The splendid entry here described, refers to the solemn bringing in of the ark into the tent David pitched for it, or the temple Solomon built for it. We may also apply it to the ascension of Christ into heaven, and the welcome given to him there. Our Redeemer found the gates of heaven shut, but having by his blood made atonement for sin, as one having authority, he demanded entrance. The angels were to worship him, Heb 1:6: they ask with wonder, Who is he? It is answered, that he is strong and mighty; mighty in battle to save his people, and to subdue his and their enemies. We may apply it to Christ's entrance into the souls of men by his word and Spirit, that they may be his temples. Behold, he stands at the door, and knocks, Rev 3:20. The gates and doors of the heart are to be opened to him, as possession is delivered to the rightful owner. We may apply it to his second coming with glorious power. Lord, open the everlasting door of our souls by thy grace, that we may now receive thee, and be wholly thine; and that, at length, we may be numbered with thy saints in glory.

Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary on the Bible

Jacob

noreply@blogger.com (jared) — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 06:14:00 +0000

Who was Jacob?
A twin. Heir of God's promise to Abraham. A deceptive cheat, both to his brother and his father, Isaac. Fearful for his life. Timidly obedient. (Gen. 25:19-28:5)

When he was traveling from his home to his uncle Laban, and he lay down under the stars with his head resting on a stone, he had a dream of a ladder extending from earth to heaven. Some people call it Jacob's ladder. The LORD (translated as his personal name) stood above it and said in the dream (paraphrased) "I am the LORD, the God of your fathers. I will give you and your children the land you lie on, and you will spread everywhere and be a blessing to the families of the earth. Behold, I'm with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I've done what I've promised."

Jacob responded with a startled awakening. He thought somehow he had missed the presence of the Lord in that place, but he felt it - the dream was so intense. And he was afraid. He memorialized that place in the middle of nowhere thinking "This is where God lives, and this is the gate to heaven", and he made a vow. He simply said, "If God will be with me and will keep me in this way that I go, and will give me bread to eat and clothing to wear...so that I come back again in peace, then the Lord will be my God. And of all that you give me I will give a full tenth to you."

I have to wonder if Jacob knew who he was speaking to; if he had ever contemplated very long the promise God made to Abraham, passed down to Isaac, and conferred to him. After all, he stole what wasn't his birthright. Had he ever thought about God's blessing people through his family? Was it even talked of or said in remembrance? I have to wonder again when God says, "I will not leave you until I have done what I promised you." Jacob may not have realized Who met him in his dream. He may have correctly been afraid, if he thought of God as dwelling in arid, holy places. But God knew what his plan was in "blessing all the families of the earth", even directly through Jacob. The one who didn't deserve his father's blessing. And so God met with him, his heavenly Father.

I identify with Jacob. I identify in the desire to self-protect and take. I admire his pragmatic assertion that he was very alone, with little to call his own, and he was definitely blameworthy. In true honesty he asked the Lord to be with him and keep him, provide bread and clothing, and restore peace in his home. He didn't ask for any more because he didn't deserve any more. But maybe he didn't know to ask for any more because he didn't know to whom he spoke. I think I have that problem sometimes, too. I wonder if Jacob ever thought back when he was older on God's promise not to leave him until He had done what he had promised him. I wonder how Jacob might have read Paul's words and example "for this reason I bow...from whom every family...is named." Might be he stunned to perceive Christ preeminent in everything (Col. 1:18), and how extensive his church family is?

Why we're here.

noreply@blogger.com (jared) — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 03:21:00 +0000

I have often puzzled over this verse. Gen. 1:27 "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." When I've heard people talk of it, it often sounds like guessing and it does lend to imagining, and probably more often then not I've heard people begin to reverse engineer what the 'image of God' must be. That is, because God is Spirit and in Genesis he's creating things from nothing, it is hard to imagine similarity with him. By default we seem to begin thinking of him in terms us and self-understanding. But that isn't right. That's not understanding him. "In our image" is...after us...emulating our character...desiring our relationship...where? on Earth. "Having dominion" and "multiplying".
1 Jn 3:2 says, "Beloved, we are God's children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is." We don't know "what we will be" beyond the grave, but we will know the image of the invisible God when he appears, because we'll be like him. We'll see Jesus as he is. We were made in God's image to see Jesus.

John Calvin, "sacramental living".

noreply@blogger.com (jared) — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 23:14:00 +0000

The sacraments, therefore, are exercises which make us more certain of the trustworthiness of God's Word. And because we are in the flesh, they are shown under things of flesh to instruct us according to our dull capacity, and lead us by the hand as tutors lead children.

Or as a contemporary Catholic author put it, "I don't partake [of the Eucharist] because I'm a good Catholic, holy and pious and sleek. I partake because I'm a bad Catholic, riddled by doubt and anxiety and anger; fainting from severe hypoglycemia of the soul."

Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good!
Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!
Ps. 34:8

"For this reason I bow...

noreply@blogger.com (jared) — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 13:41:00 +0000

For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith - that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

Ephesians 3:14-21

Spurgeon thoughts

noreply@blogger.com (jared) — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 22:08:00 +0000

In whom do you now trust? Isa. 36:5
Reader, this is an important question. Listen to the Christian's answer, and see if it is yours. "In whom do you now trust?" "I trust," says the Christian, "in a triune God. I trust the Father, believing that He has chosen me from before the foundations of the world; I trust Him to provide for me in providence, to teach me to guide me, to correct me if need be, and to bring me home to His own house where there are many rooms. I trust the Son. He is very God of very God - the man Christ Jesus. I trust in Him to take away all my sins by His own sacrifice and to clothe me with His perfect righteousness. I trust Him to be my Intercessor, to present my prayers and desires before His Father's throne, and I trust Him to be my Advocate at the last great day, to plead my cause, and to justify me. I trust Him for what He is, for what He as done, and for what He has promised still to do. And I trust the Holy Spirit - He has begun to save me from my inbred sins; I trust Him to drive them all out; I trust Him to curb my temper, to subdue my will, to enlighten my understanding, to check my passions, to comfort my despondency, to help my weakness, to illuminate my darkness. I trust Him to dwell in me as my life, to reign in me as my King, to sanctify me completely, spirit, soul, and body, and then to take me up to dwell with the saints in light forever."

What blessed trust - to trust Him whose power will never be exhausted, whose love will never weaken, whose kindness will never change, whose faithfulness will never fail, whose wisdom will never be overruled, and whose perfect goodness can never be impaired! You are happy, reader, if this trust is yours! So trusting, you will enjoy sweet peace now and glory later, and the foundation of your trust will never be removed.

Who's in denial?

noreply@blogger.com (jared) — Mon, 22 Aug 2011 17:28:00 +0000

11 Here is a trustworthy saying:
If we died with him,
we will also live with him;
12 if we endure,
we will also reign with him.
If we disown him,
he will also disown us;
13 if we are faithless,
he remains faithful,
for he cannot disown himself.

2 Timothy 2:13

We're inseparable from his infinite, good character. We are never NOT in relation to him. How do i know...? He became a man, "God with us." Ask, why? ...to grasp the wide and long and high and deep love of Christ, with the saints! There is something about God's personableness in sending His Son that helps each of us in the silence to see the Father. Jesus says this, "No one has ever seen God.The One and Only Son-the One who is at the Father's side-He has revealed Him." (Jn 1:18 Holman translation) BUT THEN, there is something about God's magnitude...His weight, His glory, that is comprehended being rooted and established with the saints. We need power and each other to even apprehend this love of Christ...and he is coming again. I imagine us standing together beholding this great faithfulness, this rapture, this Person we've always wanted to know.

The Baffling Call Of God 8/05

noreply@blogger.com (jared) — Fri, 05 Aug 2011 15:36:00 +0000

“And all things that are written by the prophets concerning the Son of Man shall be accomplished … And they understood none of these things.”
Luke 18:31,34
God called Jesus Christ to what seemed unmitigated disaster. Jesus Christ called His disciples to see Him put to death; He led every one of them to the place where their hearts were broken. Jesus Christ's life was an absolute failure from every standpoint but God's. But what seemed failure from man's standpoint was a tremendous triumph from God's, because God's purpose is never man's purpose.
There comes the baffling call of God in our lives also. The call of God can never be stated explicitly; it is implicit. The call of God is like the call of the sea, no one hears it but the one who has the nature of the sea in him. It cannot be stated definitely what the call of God is to, because His call is to be in comradeship with Himself for His own purposes, and the test is to believe that God knows what He is after. The things that happen do not happen by chance, they happen entirely in the decree of God. God is working out His purposes.
If we are in communion with God and recognize that He is taking us into His purposes, we shall no longer try to find out what His purposes are. As we go on in the Christian life it gets simpler, because we are less inclined to say - Now why did God allow this and that? Behind the whole thing lies the compelling of God. "There's a divinity that shapes our ends." A Christian is one who trusts the wits and the wisdom of God, and not his own wits. If we have a purpose of our own, it destroys the simplicity and the leisureliness which ought to characterize the children of God.

Sing

noreply@blogger.com (jared) — Sun, 03 Apr 2011 16:45:00 +0000

The love of God is greater far
Than tongue or pen can ever tell;
It goes beyond the highest star,
And reaches to the lowest hell;
The guilty pair, bowed down with care,
God gave His Son to win;
His erring child He reconciled,
And pardoned from his sin.

Refrain:
Oh, love of God, how rich and pure!
How measureless and strong!
It shall forevermore endure—
The saints’ and angels’ song.

When hoary time shall pass away,
And earthly thrones and kingdoms fall,
When men who here refuse to pray,
On rocks and hills and mountains call,
God’s love so sure, shall still endure,
All measureless and strong;
Redeeming grace to Adam’s race—
The saints’ and angels’ song.

Could we with ink the ocean fill,
And were the skies of parchment made,
Were every stalk on earth a quill,
And every man a scribe by trade;
To write the love of God above
Would drain the ocean dry;
Nor could the scroll contain the whole,
Though stretched from sky to sky.

Verse 3 was penciled on the wall of a narrow room in an insane asylum by a man said to have been demented. The profound lines were discovered when they laid him in his coffin.
Frederick M. Lehman, 1917
v. 3 by Rabbi Mayer, 1096
v. 3 alt. by Anonymous/Unknown

Knowing the Father

noreply@blogger.com (jared) — Tue, 22 Feb 2011 21:21:00 +0000

...to know everything and anyone else. I love this sermon. As soon as I can I'm going to write a narrative reaction.
http://sermons2.redeemer.com/sermons/knowing-father

Age

noreply@blogger.com (jared) — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 18:53:00 +0000

A young heart but old soul is a conundrum, and as it turns out, difficult. But strangely irresistible!
"I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. ~Jesus

The Valley of Vision

noreply@blogger.com (jared) — Wed, 16 Feb 2011 01:07:00 +0000

There's an incredible passage in Isaiah 22, called "An oracle concerning Jerusalem". I think it's both a historical/geographical commentary and allegory. What's catching is the language. It's as though God is speaking to people in that valley and to Himself and also in the third person of events that will pass. God says to people in the valley (paraphrased), "What are you doing...on the rooftops? You were thriving and 'exultant'. ...your people aren't dead in battle as you think. They fled and they were captured without a fight." [I wonder why they fled.] Then God says he can't be consoled. He's so grieved over the 'destruction of his people'. But 'the day' was appointed. The valley of vision was supposed to be thrown into a 'tumult'...and even trampled down. V.8 [Third person] "He has taken away the covering of Judah." WHY??? For reasons I kind of get and from a historical perspective...don't. God said, "You looked to your weapons and all your plans to protect yourself, but you didn't look to me. And I planned this long ago." He says, "I asked for 'weeping and mourning', for contrition, but you didn't hear. You didn't hear because you wanted to live as though tomorrow you were going to die." God says, "That's what you will pay for while you live." ...Does that not rattle you?
Then begins the more inscrutable verses. The oracle transissions from tangible people to something prophetic, but which I do get generally if it is in reference to the cross. God says, "go ask the 'steward' of the town or valley, what have you done here??? You've fortified yourself safely? on this height, in this rock above the neighboring valleys? 'The Lord will hurl you away violently. He will seize firm hold on you and whirl you around and around, and throw you like a ball into a wide land.' There you'll die, you shame of your master."
This is all leading to the oracle. God says, I'm going to put another man, Eliakim, in that man's office. That makes sense, a transfer of power, but then he says, "he's going to be a father to Jerusalem and Judah and I'm going to give him a key. 'He shall open, and none shall shut; and he shall shut, and none shall open.' ...what? Who is Eliakim? The passage doesn't offer an explanation, but it does say that God determined to "fix him like a peg...on which the whole honor of his father's house and offspring and every small vessel, from the cups to all the flagons was to hang." That's some imagery to end with.... A jubilant valley, appointed chaos, inattention to God, a steward violently removed, and a man God determines to fix in place and hang every honor on. ...a peg isn't remarkable, but this peg bears the whole house, all the earthly possessions. Then in another appointed day, God says, 'the peg will give way. It will be cut down and fall, and everything on it will be cut off.' And that's the end of this perplexing passage.
I can imagine this valley and the bustle of a town and the fear of war. I can picture the panorama of seeing in a valley. I can kind of identify with the 'tumult' and uncertainty of God timing (what is He doing?). And I think I can even identify with the terror of God's warning to the steward. I don't understand the implications of lineage being cut off. But I do believe God fixed Jesus in place...made for a little while lower than the angels (Hebrews 2). It is Jesus we must see - the one who made himself nothing, a servant (Philippians 2) - at the center of that farsighted, encompassing vision.

O God of grace,
Thou has imputed my sin to my substitute,
and has imputed his righteous to my soul,
clothing me with a bridegroom's robe,
decking me with jewels of holiness.
But in my Christian walk I am still in rags;
my best prayers are stained with sin;
my penitential tears are so much impurity;
my confessions of wrong ar so many aggravations of sin;
my receiving the Spirit is tinctured with selfishness.
I need to repent of my repentance;
I need my tears to be washed;
I have no robe to bring to cover my sins,
no loom to weave my own righteousness;
I am always standing clothed in filthy garments,
and by grace am always receiving change of raiment,
for thou dost always justify the ungodly;
I am always going into the far country,
and always returning home a prodigal,
always saying, Father, forgive me,
and thou art always bringing for the best robe.
Every morning let me wear it,
every evening return in it,
go out to the day's work in it,
be married in it,
be wound in death in it,
stand before the great white throne in it,
enter heaven in it shining as the sun.
Grant me never to lose sight of
the exceeding sinfulness of sin,
the exceeding righteousness of salvation,
the exceeding glory of Christ,
the exceeding beauty of holiness,
the exceeding wonder of grace.

Discontentment

noreply@blogger.com (jared) — Wed, 09 Feb 2011 19:57:00 +0000

I think I am a person prone to discontentment, particularly. I don't know why, and it's not very helpful to compare with others because that can be apples and oranges. Everyone has a fault. For some maybe it's complacency, for others little mercy, or maybe for others it's not boldly and honestly discerning righteousness, that is...if their first inclination is to "gray" the motives heart, rather than confess...because the heart is deceitful, period, than that person lies to himself. And I wonder how the truth is in him. James calls that worthless religion. For me, I think I've identified a "root", discontentment. I think it will kill me. I have to understand this, "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

...there your heart will be also.

noreply@blogger.com (jared) — Sat, 05 Feb 2011 05:55:00 +0000

I love that we're forgiven.

Matt. 6:21
For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Oh, Dayton

noreply@blogger.com (jared) — Sun, 30 Jan 2011 20:56:00 +0000

We used to wait. Arcade Fire interactive video

Morning 1/27

noreply@blogger.com (jared) — Wed, 26 Jan 2011 18:23:00 +0000

And from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. Jn. 1:16

These words tells us there is a fullness in Christ.
There is a fullness of essential Deity, for "in him the whole fullness of Deity dwells bodily." Col. 2:9
There is a fullness of perfect manhood, for in Him, bodily, that Godhead was revealed.
There is a fullness of atoning efficacy in His blood, for "the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin." 1 Jn 1:7
There is a fullness of justifying righteousness in His life, for "there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Rom. 8:1
There is a fullness of divine prevalence in His plea, for "He is able to save to the uttermost those who draw near to God through him, since he always lives to make intercession for them." Heb. 7:25
There is a fullness of victory in His death, for through death He destroyed him that had the power of death - that is, the devil.
There is a fullness of efficacy in His resurrection from the dead, for by it "he has caused us to be born again to a living hope." 1 Pet. 1:3
There is a fullness of grace to pardon, of grace to regenerate, of grace to sanctify, of grace to preserve, and of grace to perfect. There is a fullness at all times; a fullness of comfort in affliction, a fullness of guidance in prosperity. A fullness of every divine attribute - of wisdom, of power, of love; a fullness that is impossible to survey, much less to explore. "For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell." Col. 1:19 Oh, what a fullness must this be of which all receive! Fullness, indeed, must there be when the stream is always flowing, and yet the well springs up as free, as rich, as full as ever. Come, believer, and get all you need supplied; ask largely, and you will receive largely, for this "fullness is inexhaustible and is treasured up where all the needy may reach it, even in Jesus, Immanuel - God with us.

Spurgeon. Morning and Evening.

What to do about shyness

noreply@blogger.com (jared) — Fri, 07 Jan 2011 04:06:00 +0000

What to do about shyness.

As editors and shyness researchers for What to Do About, we can only speculate. To be honest, we’re not certain what you’re problem is, BUT we’re going to do our best to spot it and loudly exclaim, “That’s it! That’s your god-forsaken problem! Look at you!” …So don’t cry, keep reading. We think there are a few conceivable remedies to your shyness.

A) never come out of your room. If you never come out of your room, you won’t ever know you’re shy because you’ll never meet people who stare at you and make you feel inferior or moronic, as you stare at your feet and pretend your all alone again. You are not inferior and there’s a good chance you’re not a moron. It is possible that you have some other kind of problem, social anxiety, OCD (which is also a personality disorder AND NOT simply an anxiety problem), and then there’s the assortment of phobias—rats, snakes, hermit crabs, loud noises, cops, drafts, the refrigerator, ceiling fan catastrophes. There’s no end to the possibilities and complexities of what you may suffer and imagine. BUT the good news is most well-meaning Americans have some kind of neurosis anyway. In fact, more Americans visit their haggard family physician for anxiety problems then they do the common cold. We here at What to Do About sit back in our seats amazed, but it’s true. Depending on the severity of your “normal” problem, you’re a statistic between 1% and 58% of the public. Those terrified the refrigerator will one day eat them comprise a smaller statistic than those returning from Iraq. The fact that people might think more of treating their worries than drinking white tea and eating berries before the croup gets them, does seem to indicate there’s company in numbers. You’ll be alright kid. And it should be said “shyness” is not a “disorder”. Back to your shyness, nobody cares until we have to get close and overcome uncomfortable silences. So stay in your room and you’ll never know the difference.

Option B is only slightly different than option A. You can decide. It is possible that it may also exacerbate a mental disorder. People who choose this option are generally pathological liars and you can be one too. What you have to do is become someone you are not. Lie to yourself over and over. Don’t stop lying to yourself until you have a nice, polished alter ego. This is what you show to everybody and tell everybody you are, that is, not shy. This raises the question of who/what our identity in fact is, also what is multiple personality disorder, but we say who cares. Denying a shy proclivity is not accepting you might be ok and there are still options C and D.

Option C …we hesitate to recommend and we will immediately follow it with option D, so keep reading. You might even read this one super fast. One proven way of eliminating shyness forever, if that’s what you’re bound and determined to do, is kill yourself. Now, there’s a lot of reasons to live before your loved one’s find your note saying, “I’m sorry I was shy.” In fact, I personally want you to know that in a way, I enjoy shy people. There’s a lot to discover, which leads me directly and very rapidly into option D.

Option D. Why are you shy? (We’re getting to the option.) Why do you think being shy is a problem? People (good, normal people) probably don’t think less of you. Maybe you’re misunderstood. All that means is that you have to practice feeling less critical…of the whole environment. Literally practice mentally relaxing. Trust people, and give them something to know about you. People aren’t always good at finding that—at learning about other people, or you. The other important note is that you can’t care too much what they do with that information. You must have some esteem for yourself. You’re very interesting. I like you and I’m only imagining you. You’re brunette, 5’7’’, have green eyes, are perfectly shaped, and female. Yes?

To not be shy, to enjoy you, to get to know others, you must be about things bigger than you. In relationships, if you’re too concerned with your shyness, knowingly or not, you’re probably going to miss why it’s a desirable relationship, or not. You’re probably going to miss things about that person because you’re worried with how they view you. There is an existent and hazy line that separates concern for others’ opinion and your own social graces. Don’t be afraid. Focus on being “about” the other person, learning about them, paying attention to who they are and how they respond. Listen and you’ll probably overcome a bit of shyness. So, come out of your room. Please don’t pretend. Don’t kill yourself. That’s a true tragedy. And confidently and humbly tell someone why you’re so interesting.

you give me life

noreply@blogger.com (jared) — Fri, 29 Oct 2010 04:08:00 +0000

The world suddenly seems a possible place when someone saves you.

Teardrop

noreply@blogger.com (jared) — Thu, 28 Oct 2010 00:25:00 +0000

Piano

noreply@blogger.com (jared) — Wed, 27 Oct 2010 18:53:00 +0000

I love the piano. It makes me want to take a music theory class. Because I only have one innate art talent, writing - perhaps, I can try to describe it, but I can't play. Oh, I wish! There is never enough time. The piano takes your body and soul across "keyscapes" the way a drummer bounces between cracked timbres. He practically is the sound. Watching him make music is like imagining the piano's rippling chords. You hear it and are gone to a memory or a picture.

Tiny epiphanies: getting a grip.

noreply@blogger.com (jared) — Tue, 26 Oct 2010 06:21:00 +0000

I'm beginning to understand why I can't sleep. I'm anxious. And the only reason I'm anxious is because I'm not doing all that I need to do. That is simply because I'm not managing the time to do it satisfactorily. And I'm not doing that because I'd rather be distracted. This then is a problem of not knowing how to enjoy what must be done. Ignorance must be bliss because it's irresponsible.

God's Big thinkers

noreply@blogger.com (jared) — Tue, 26 Oct 2010 04:53:00 +0000

'Tis certain with me that the world exists anew every moment, that the existence of things every moment ceases and is every moment renewed. For instance, in the existence of bodies, for there to be resistance, or tendency to some place; 'tis not numerically the same resistance that exists the next moment, 'tis evident, because this existence may be in different places. But yet this existence is continued so far, that there is respect had to it in all the future existences; 'tis evident in all things continually. Now past existence can't be continued so that respect should be had to it, otherwise than mentally. If the world this moment should be annihilated, so that nothing should really and actually exist any more; the existence of the world could not be continued so that, if another world after a time should be created, that world should exist after this or that manner from respect to the manner of the existence of this, or should be so only because this had been thus or thus. Indeed, we every moment see the same proof of a God as we should have seen, if we had seen [him] create the world at first. Revelation 4:11, "For thy pleasure they are and were created." ~Jonathan Edwards, Miscellanies No. 125

I believe Edwards was contemplating the eternality of God as immanent in creation. He describes this in relation to time and space in the way we talk about “never stepping into the same river twice”. A river body remains and is identifiable “in different places” but it isn’t the same physically or molecularly or in “resistance” in time. Then I think Edwards is talking about the passage of time. “But yet this existence is continued so far, that there is respect had to it in all the future existences; 'tis evident in all things continually.” Here perhaps it’s helpful to think of how we look at one river and think of it’s origin in the mountains (the past) and how we know we where this same river is going (in the future) to a delta or another river. But then Edwards changes the paradigm for the reason to contemplate time and space—creation or a river. “Now past existence can't be continued so that respect should be had to it, otherwise than mentally.” He’s saying the past (origins) can’t exist simply to reflect on. The river isn’t just a river. Why is it there? Then he conjectures about the reason for the world’s existence. Why should some prior existence or time be the template for a future? Or why should a future time and world exist in the manner of a former? There is NO reason other than God has pleased to order the creation as we perceive it in time, with our senses, as it is displayed. We know the world won’t go forever. It draws us to wonder into His eternity, which beats in the present moment. He makes all things hold together because He is immanent in creation. This reminds me of two things A.W. Tozer said. "The value of the cleansed imagination in the sphere of religion lies in its power to perceive in natural things shadows of things spiritual. It enables the reverent man to "See the World in a grain of sand, and eternity in an hour." And, “What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us. ...Thought and speech are God's gifts to creatures made in His image; these are intimately associated with Him and impossible apart from Him.” (Born After Midnight. Knowledge of the Holy.)

"Because children have abounding vitality, because they are in spirit fierce and free, therefore they want things repeated and unchanged. They always say, "Do it again"; and the grown-up person does it again until he is nearly dead. For grown-up people are not strong enough to exult in monotony. But perhaps God is strong enough to exult in monotony. It is possible that God says every morning, "Do it again" to the sun; and every evening, "Do it again" to the moon. It may not be automatic necessity that makes all daisies alike; it may be that God makes every daisy separately, but has never got tired of making them. It may be that He has the eternal appetite of infancy; for we have sinned and grown old, and our Father is younger than we." ~Chesterton