To Play Us Out

Thursday Morning Link Dump

Atlas Jobinson — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 09:25:21 +0000

Oh, Link Dump. It’s been so long. How I have missed you. But it’s like they say: it’s better to have link dumped and lost than never to have link dumped at all. Or something like that. This is the coolest thing I have ever seen: classic NFL moments re-lived in Tecmo Bowl. I love the [...]

An Open Letter to the Manager of Eddie George’s Grille

Atlas Jobinson — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 04:17:21 +0000

Yes, I sent it. Dear Ms. Vogel, I am writing in regards to a very offensive scene that I was forced to witness at Eddie George’s Grille on October 25. But before I get to the matter at hand, I would first like to address two complementary topics. First, please take note that I am contacting you only [...]

Case Race

Atlas Jobinson — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 22:15:44 +0000

We’re having a case race. Trashpockets and I vs. 3/5’s and Jeff George vs. The Foster Child and Another Kid. Each team gets one puke. There are no bongs, cozies, or any other devices. This is the live blog. Go to it. Click Here To Go To The Live Blog Posted in Atlas Jobinson [...]

A Response to Atlas Jobinson

p90forlife — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 06:09:03 +0000

Dear Mr. Jobinson, After a much needed break from this godforsaken website I have finally returned. To tell you the truth it was quite surprising that you enlisted the help of me and the rest of the bastards that live with us to write for To Play Us Out after going solo for many moons. Maybe [...]

A Message to All Members of This Blog

Atlas Jobinson — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 07:53:41 +0000

Fucktard: Today, you woke me up by lighting two fire-crackers and slipping them under my door. Trying to exact revenge, I attempted to make you eat a pepper that I had rubbed on my ballsack. Unfortunately, you did not fall for my stunt, and I was to forced to endure a painful burning sensation on [...]

Ch-Ch-Changes

Atlas Jobinson — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 09:37:03 +0000

We’re nearing the one-year anniversary of To Play Us Out, and obviously the content here has been a little lackluster as of late. So we’re going to change things up a little bit. For those unaware, I now live in a house in Columbus with my five best friends. I’ve mentioned this before, but basically [...]

Out There Havin’ Fun, In The Warm California Sun

Atlas Jobinson — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 08:18:43 +0000

I’ve got one more week until I move back to Columbus. For the sake of maintaining my usual demeanor, I was going to try to act like I’m bored out of my mind and that I’m trying my hardest to give myself a lobotomy and yada yada yada…but that wouldn’t be true at all. I [...]

I Hate Writing This But Fuck My Life

Atlas Jobinson — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 05:30:07 +0000

I have been sick for the past two weeks. Do you ever notice that when you’re sick, you incessantly wonder what it would be like to feel healthy again? Well, I’ve been wondering that for a fortnight. (Aside: I’m watching Letterman right now. Mike Myers is on there — he could pass for a dyke. He [...]

I’m Too Lazy to Think of a Title

Atlas Jobinson — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 05:24:48 +0000

Here’s something weird: As I’ve mentioned several times, I can see what search terms people are typing in to find To Play Us Out. Almost every day since I wrote “Atlas and Trashpockets Go to McDonald’s”, 10-15 people per day are arriving at this blog by searching the word “McDonald’s”. Now here’s my problem: how [...]

Tuesday Link Dump

Atlas Jobinson — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 17:40:27 +0000

I was going to try and be all clever and put my new PIC column in the link dump like it was just another link. But instead I decided to put it here. Go read it. It’s about amateur porn. The people at PIC are going to be shocked when they realize the only thing [...]