Confession: It’s been months now since I watched this. I took so long to sit down and write this review, that I can’t really remember exactly what happened in the movie or what most of my notes are trying to tell me. I suppose I could do a re-re-watch, but…I don’t wanna. There’s a reason I wasn’t really enthusiastic about writing up this review in the first place, after all. This is one of those weird times when I actually prefer the sequel. Anyway, I’m just gonna jump in and hopefully, this review will make some kind of coherent sense.

The weird thing about this movie is that it seems to go between two extremes: either it’s on Sentimental Mode, with sad music and sad orphans, or it’s on Sinister Mode, with SCARY, OMINOUS MUSIC  and creepy fake eyelashes. (If you don’t remember the eyelash scene, I’m assuming you haven’t seen this movie. The sight of Medusa pulling off her fake eyelashes is one of those things that sticks with you no matter how old you get.) Once we get to the bayou where Penny is being held prisoner, the lighting becomes really dark and gloomy, like at the beginning of the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland when there’s just the crickets chirping and the creepy old guy sitting outside his cabin with his banjo. It’s just an overall spooky atmosphere. And props to the animation and lighting teams for making that atmosphere so effective, but after a while, you start to wonder if you’ll ever see the light of day again.

Anyway, let’s talk about Bob Newhart! He voices Bernard, one of our Rescue Aid Society mice, and he’s wonderful. Bernard is superstitious and maybe a little overly cautious. I love overly cautious protagonists, because they validate my lifestyle. To balance him out, though, is the very stylish Bianca, voiced by Eva, my favorite Gabor. I want to talk about how much I love their little romance, but I think it’s best to leave that for the sequel, when their relationship becomes more central. Also, I could have sworn that John Candy is the voice of Orville the albatross, but no! That’s only in the sequel where he voices Orville’s brother, Wilbur. Rounding up our voice actors is Geraldine Page as the villain Medusa, and the thing that ALWAYS bugs me while I’m watching this movie is how familiar her voice sounds even though I’ve never seen anything she’s been in…and she’s been in a lot of stuff! And she’s won an Oscar! But I’ve never seen ANY of her work, so WHY does she sound so familiar? It drives me crazy.

Perhaps the reason Medusa sounds so familiar to mine ears is because she reminds me of cross between Cruella DeVil and Ursula the sea witch. All that makeup (and the fake eyelashes!), the terrible driving, and that vaguely aristocratic sounding voice. She’s not one of more well-known Disney villains, but she scares the crap out of me, so they did something right. It’s the crazy eyes (and the eyelashes! I’ll never forget the eyelashes), I think. And just…she’s so mean. Yeah, all Disney villains are somewhat mean and they try to kill people and take over the world, but Medusa isn’t trying to take over the world, she’s…crushing the hopes and dreams of a little orphan girl in a somewhat realistic way. Okay, trying to find giantic diamonds in pirate wells isn’t quite realistic, but I’m thinking more of…well…the fake eyelash scene (it always comes back to the fake eyelash scene) where Medusa tells Penny that no one will ever want to adopt her. That’s just mean! It kind of bugs me, though, that Medusa doesn’t get arrested for kidnapping or endangering small children or anything. Is there no justice system down in the bayou? Also, fun fact: Medusa’s appearance is based on the animator’s ex-wife. I wonder if she wore false eyelashes.

On the overly sentimental side of things, may I just take a moment to bitch about the music in this movie? Some of the songs are pretty, I suppose, especially “Someone’s Waiting for You,” but for the most part, the songs sound so sappy and kind of out of place with the gloominess. Also, they do that Tarzan thing where the songs are played over the action and not sung by the characters themselves. This might just be a personal pet peeve, but I’m not a big fan of that in Disney movies. If you’re going to have a musical, shouldn’t the characters be the ones singing? You know a Medusa villain song would have been kickass and terrifying.

All right, that’s all I got. Let this be a lesson to me next time not to wait so long between watching the movie and writing the review.

Favorite moment: Diamonds and creepy pirate caves

Because this is a very tense and worrying scene. The water’s coming in! There’s a  scary skull! Young girls with big swords! Mice going down a whirpool! I knew everything was going to be okay, but I was still kind of worried.

The Fake Eyelash Scene

You know you want to look.

Next time: The Fox and the Hound!

–YoSaffBridge

I’ve always been shy. It’s sometimes hard for me to speak up for myself or get angry with people who deserve it, because I avoid conflict like it’s my job. So I love seeing women–real or fictional–who aren’t afraid to speak up or get angry. These kick-ass ladies become my role models. They inspire me to stop being shy and to stand up for myself. And without a doubt, one of these women I aspire to be is Julia Sugarbaker.

I loved watching Designing Women reruns back when they were on Lifetime, and my favorite episodes were the ones where Julia got to yell at someone and be awesome while doing so. She stood up for herself, for her sister, for her friends. She was their champion, the one who never backed down or let anyone treat them without the respect they deserved. She was a wonderful comedic character, but she was also one of my role models. And no one could have played her like Dixie Carter.

So thank you, Dixie Carter, for giving such life and spirit to one of my favorite fictional ladies. You’ll be missed. Rest in peace.

–YoSaffBridge

I’m pretty sure I should be sad that his talent has been wasted on commercials for crappy pizza, but I can’t stop playing this over and over again and then clapping my hands in delight and wonder. Shut up, this is the only place I can see him reciting Hamlet.

–YoSaffBridge

I’m familiar with Winnie the Pooh and his pals. Of course, I am–who isn’t? But this was my first time watching this movie. And I didn’t really understand how that could be, because I’ve definitely seen parts of this movie before–I’ve watched Pooh pretend to be a raincloud, and I’ve seen him get stuck in Rabbit’s door. And then I read that this “movie” is actually a compilation of three Winnie the Pooh shorts that were made forever ago, and that made a whole lot more sense. And it made me feel a little less weird for not having seen the movie in its entirety. (And yet, I don’t want to think about how much Winnie the Pooh-related merchandise I own…including an Eeyore keychain…)

Let’s get some voice-acting tidbits out of the way, because everyone in this movie has been in something else that you’ve heard of, and it will blow your mind. First off, we have Sterling Holloway (in what is probably his most recognizable role) as Pooh. I just…still find it so crazy that sweet, simple Winnie the Pooh is also the Cheshire Cat. And Kaa. But that was nothing compared to when I looked up Barbara Luddy, the voice of Kanga. She’s also Lady from Lady and the Tramp. That’s not too weird, but she’s also Merryweather from Sleeping Beauty! I’m totally buggin’. Other cool things: John Fiedler (Piglet) was in 12 Angry Men; Sebastian Cabot (the ever-helpful narrator) is also Bagheera from The Jungle Book; Ralph Wright (Eeyore) is actually a Disney writer, which I find hilarious, for some reason; Hal Smith (Owl) has been in like everything, but I’m most tickled by the fact that he’s also Philippe (yes, the horse) in Beauty and the Beast; one of the kids who voiced Roo is Ron Howard’s brother; Paul Winchell (Tigger) is also Gargamel (what!) from The Smurfs; and finally, Junius Matthews (Rabbit) was Archimedes in The Sword in the Stone, which is just another reason why Rabbit is my favorite (but more on that later). I’ll always be impressed by how versatile voice actors are, and this is like the most crazy awesome cast I’ve ever seen.

So, duh, this movie is really cute. From the opening song with Pooh bouncing around to the bittersweet ending with Pooh and Christopher Robin, this is just the cutest movie ever. I really loved the narration of it–the use of a book with pictures that the characters move around in. And sometimes the narrator talks to the characters. It’s a unique twist on the tried-and-true opening book introduction that Disney is so fond of. Also, I love me a good narrator.

Even with all the cuteness, though, there are moments when I am genuinely annoyed with Pooh. Okay, there’s one moment when I’m genuinely annoyed with Pooh, and it’s when he barges in on Rabbit, eats his honey, and then gets stuck. Yeah, yeah, it’s still cute (and it will always bring to mind one scene from Pushing Daisies), but I find it so annoying that Pooh would just eat all of someone else’s honey. Bad form, Pooh. And poor Rabbit knows what’s coming, but there’s no stopping it. (And then he tries to decorate Pooh’s butt, which is the moment I realized he was my favorite forever.) I mean, Rabbit constantly comes out as the bad guy, and no one else ever does, and it’s not fair, I say. He just wants to be left in peace.

I’m also not okay with the part where Eeyore, like, gives away Piglet’s house without consulting him first. Well, okay, maybe Eeyore didn’t know, but…dude, speak up, Piglet. That’s your house. Can’t he and Owl at least share? Why can’t everyone just stay in their own houses? Why is this so distressing for me?

I was going to come up with a graceful transition to the “Heffalumps and Woozles” scene, but considering what a random-ass moment that is, I feel like I should jump in. I do love a good Disney acid trip moment (as opposed to, say, a whole Disney acid trip movie, like The Three Caballeros), and this one didn’t disappoint. It called to mind those pink elephants from Dumbo, but it was slightly less terrifying. It probably would have scared the bejeezus out of me as a child, but now, I just found it delightfully weird.

I still haven’t mentioned Tigger, maybe because Tigger is possibly my least favorite. Geez, just…chill, okay? The whole second half of the movie is like Tigger vs. Rabbit, and as we’ve already established, Rabbit is my homeboy. Here’s a sample of the notes I took during the second half of the movie:

–Poor Rabbit! Tigger ruined his garden!

–Haaa, Rabbit’s kind of diabolical.

–Ohh, Rabbit. Poor Rabbit. I love him.

–No, seriously guys, why can’t Rabbit catch a break?

Much like with Bagheera and Baloo, there are Rabbits and there are Tiggers, and for some reason, fiction tends to always side with the Tiggers. It’s like being a rational character with a sense of personal space is a bad thing. I will admit that Tigger’s sad face when Rabbit tells him he can never bounce again kind of broke my heart, but can’t he at least agree not to bounce around Rabbit’s garden? Would that be so hard? Why is Rabbit always the bad guy?

(Remember that episode of The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh where Rabbit adopts the bird and then lets her go? Man, that episode makes me cry just thinking about it. It’s also the only episode of that show I’ve seen…)

Anyway, Tigger teaches Rabbit how to bounce, and it all ends well. Which is as it should be, because Winnie the Pooh should not cause me this much stress on behalf of a curmudgeonly rabbit.

Favorite moment: Heffalumps and Woozles

Because it’s random and there are pretty colors and the song is catchy.

Next time: The Rescuers!

–YoSaffBridge

Man, I love this movie. I’ve gotten used to hating the character of Robin Hood with all my heart and soul because I really despised him on the BBC show Robin Hood, but this Robin makes my heart flutter. It’s one of those things no one admits until someone else says it first, so I’ll just put it out there: the Disney Robin Hood is a fox. I mean, yes, he’s literally an anthropomorphized fox, but…he’s also a fox, if you know what I mean. And yeah, you do know. Don’t deny it. If you were also an anthropomorphized fox, you’d be all over that.

Robin Hood‘s opening credits get an A+. I love the jaunty tune (more commonly referred to nowadays as the hamster dance song), the fact that we have a narrator in true medieval minstral fashion (albeit, he’s got a Southern twang), and the introduction of each character with their voice actor and animal species. I’ll admit that when I was younger, I didn’t know what a “vixen” was, so I could never figure out why Maid Marian looked like a fox, but apparently wasn’t. I’ve also just discovered that Marian and Lady Kluck are voiced by the Odd Couple Pigeon sisters, aka the geese in The Aristocats. That kind of blows my mind.

The opening sequence is also pretty much perfect. We get a song (“Oo-de-Lally”), an introduction to our heroes and villains, and a micro-version of the movie’s plot and main conflict. “Are we good guys or bad guys?” Little John asks, and Robin kind of shrugs and says that they’re good guys, of course, but in a way that suggests that he doesn’t really care either way. Disney has fun with these “bad boy” animal types–first Tramp, then Thomas O’Malley, and now Robin Hood as the most human of them. He’s a crafty little bastard when he wants to be. He specializes in deception and theft, but he’s still a good guy. I vastly prefer these types of Disney heroes to the more noble (and boring) Prince Charming types.

And then there’s Maid Marian. She is rather damsel-in-distressy, and she basically disappears sometime in the second half of the movie, but considering that every modern Robin Hood adaptation tends to make Marian a freaking ninja or something, I’d say that this Marian is more traditional than several of her counterparts. Besides, what Marian lacks in badass ninja skills, Lady Kluck has more than enough of. She’s completely awesome, and I love that she’s sort of the counterpart to Little John–if Robin gets a sidekick/platonic lifemate, then Marian gets one, too. It’s always refreshing to see a genuine friendship between ladies in the movies. Especially in Disney movies, where the sidekicks tend to be male.

And the romance! Gosh, I forgot how utterly adorable Robin and Marian are! I think what works so well about this romance is that I don’t have to buy that these two met, fell in love, and got married within a 90 minute movie. They have history together, and they already love each other, so cynical people like me don’t have to sit around wondering how two characters could fall in love after just meeting and singing a duet. I believe that their love is real, so when they start fluttering their eyelashes at each other, it makes my heart flutter, too. And just…little details make them seem like a functional couple. Like, how cute is it that Marian has Robin’s reward poster hung up in her closet? Or when the two of them start planning their wedding and honeymoon while trying to defeat Prince John’s guards. So cute, I can barely stand it.

If I had to complain about one thing in this movie, it would be the villains, I guess. Except not really, because Prince John is hilarious. But he’s also not very scary. We have three main villains, and they’re all pretty ineffective. The Sheriff of Nottingham gets to be a little scary at the end when he’s trapping Robin in the burning castle, but I mean…who’s afraid of Prince John? No one. No one could ever be afraid of good ol’ PJ. Even so, Peter Ustinov does such a fabulous job voicing him, and there’s also the historical bonus of him crying about his mommy and how she always liked Richard best. It makes the Lion in Winter fangirl inside me very happy. And I can’t forget Hiss, because between his getting hilariously drunk and singing “Phony King of England” all operatic-style, I realized that I love Hiss a whole lot. It makes sense to me that the villains are put in jail rather than getting killed, because they’re too comedic to be hated.

Okay, one more thing, then ‘ll wrap this up. I really appreciate the sense of actual danger and drama and sadness in this movie. Disney movies are full of sad scenes, but one of the saddest that I’ve seen that doesn’t involve death is the “Not in Nottingham” sequence. It’s so simple and moving–the dog sharing his crumbs with the mice, that other dog with the broken leg being fed soup, the owl couple…all of this, plus the threat of Friar Tuck’s death really puts things in perspective after the general light-heartedness of the movie. There’s something at stake here, and it makes Robin’s victory all the more rewarding. I always have to give children’s movies props when they create some real drama or peril.

This really is a wonderful little movie, one that tends to be forgotten since it came out during that dubious Disney period after Walt Disney’s death, but before the Disney Renaissance. It’s proof to me that you don’t need a huge budget or flashy CGI effects to make a damn good animated movie.

Favorite moment: The Phony King of England

Because it’s fun! All the good guys are having a good time and mocking their enemies! Even the Sheriff thinks it’s a catchy song.

Next time: The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh!

–YoSaffBridge

The following exchange occurred around 9:50 PST over text messages, concerning this news which, I will say again, is the greatest casting news of all time.  Don’t argue with me.

Carmhelga: nph going to gueststar on glee!!!111!1!!

YoSaffBridge: ON JOSS’ EPISODE. do we read ontd at the same time?

Carmhelga: no, you read it when my sister does.  She just posted the ontd link on my facebook and I like, stroked out from the excitement. this was right after i finished the house episode where house & wilson pretend to be a gay couple. television is good to me sometimes.

The Jennifer Lopez guest spot I can do without, but NPH guesting on Glee is like adding awesome berries into an already awesome pie. And Joss Whedon is the awesome ice cream that goes with it.  You think maybe the awesome is going to be overpowering, but then you realize it’s juuust right.

No, that made perfect sense.

Keira Knightley will not play Eliza Doolittle, but Carey Mulligan might.

Some things I’m flailing about:

1) I can’t even tell you how much the Doctor’s bow tie has swayed my opinion. After Matt Smith was first announced as the eleventh doctor, I was so afraid we were going to go in some kind of emo-kid direction with the Doctor. But then the bow tie gave me hope that they’re going to make Eleven kind of a dork. That would be really okay with me. I’m hoping for some social awkwardness with a side of badass. I have this feeling I’m actually going to love Eleven, and I’m not really sure where it comes from (other than the bow tie).

2) Karen Gillan’s hair entrances me. Again, I was worried at first since they were making both the Doctor and his companion so young, but…I’m sorry, I’m too distracted by her shiny red hair to even care anymore. But I don’t want there to be another romance a la the Doctor/Rose angstfest, please. Some casual flirting is allowed. I’m not worried about the kiss in the trailer, because they ALWAYS come up with a way for the Doctor and his companion to kiss. Even Donna kissed him.

3) THE ANGELS FROM “BLINK” ARE BACK. Steven Moffat, your episodes are always my favorites, but I also like sleeping at night. Please keep that in mind.

4) Actually, that’s the one thing that always makes me excited about the new season. Moffat’s episodes from the last four seasons have been so consistently wonderful, and I’m insanely excited to see what he does with the show.

Until then, I’m gonna go cry some more over Tennant.

–YoSaffBridge

In the first season, Toby Ziegler is drawn into the story of a homeless Korean War Veteran who dies of exposure on the National Mall a few days before Christmas.  He eventually arranges for a funeral for the man, and finds the man’s brother, another homeless man with an unspecified mental illness.

The second season revolves around the post-traumatic stress syndrome of Josh Lyman, who was shot at the beginning of the season. In the days before Christmas, he becomes irritable and unstable, and his friends take note.  Leo eventually brings in a trauma specialist, to try to help Josh deal with his problems.  This is the speech Leo gives him at the end of the episode, and it’s such a wonderful bit of Leo in a nutshell.

Speaking of Leo, in the third season Christmas episode, Leo takes center stage.  Leo is testifying before congress about the President’s decision to withhold knowledge of his Multiple Sclerosis.  But the real problem for Leo is that he, a recovering alcoholic, relapsed several years previously, during what turned out to be an MS attack by the President.  He is saved from having to testify about this at the last minute by a recess, but the episode’s heart is the friendship between Leo & Jed Bartlett.

Excuse me, I’m just crying like a baby, don’t mind me.

— carmhelga

Now, inspired by various family members’ demand for a “christmas list” from me, and some pretty outstanding shirts I have come across in the last few days, I present another list of weird, nerdy, and occasionally useless things I would totally by for myself if I wasn’t a broke student.

(Incidentally, I am really not difficult to buy for, I promise, but people seem to need very specific instructions for some reason…)

The immediate inspiration for this post was this T-shirt (discovered via io9).

Look at it again.  Really take it in.  Is this not the greatest thing you’ve ever seen?  No really, what is better than this?  That’s what I thought.

I also love the ridiculousness coupled with super-nerdom inherent in this shirt. I am pretty sure I could walk around all day in this shirt without anyone knowing what in the hell my shirt was supposed to mean.  And God knows I love a good Dalek joke.

Speaking of dorky Doctor Who shirts…

Because, seriously.  I’m going to miss David Tennant so much and I plan on watching his last two episodes with a box of tissues.

As long as they don’t come with real tauntaun smell.  It will never rival the Little Mermaid sleeping bag of my youth, but it’s still pretty cool.

Dude Watchin’ with the Brontes.  YoSaffBridge will argue with me over the specifics on this one, but this T-shirt (and the comic on which it is based) is amazing.

I think a On Notice dry erase board would be really, really useful.

So, YoSaffBridge got me a Teddy Roosevelt finger puppet like this a few years ago and it’s on my fridge, rocking out and being awesome as we speak.  But I think it’s time he was joined by magnetic finger puppet ELEANOR ROOSEVELT.  (How do they not have an FDR, by the way?  Whatever, Eleanor’s the best Roosevelt anyway).

There you have it, an assortment of random geeky or nerdy gifts I desire.  The internet is an amazing place sometimes.

— carmhelga