Why?  WHY THE FUCK!?  Obamas approval ratings are in the crapper, and he decided to go on The View.  If you could see me in person, Im slamming my face into the wall next to me… repeatedly.  This is the same show where one of the co-hosts didn’t know the world was round.  (im not joking)

Obama and his wife did appear on the show when he was campaigning for president in 2008, which I cant fault him for because you need to appeal to all people to get votes, even women dumber than an inanimate object.  I mean, Mrs. Obama even admitted she didn’t wear panty hose on the show, which is HEAVY STUFF.  I just smashed my head into the wall again by the way.  I understand that the president of the United States needs to reach more people by going where they are… TV.  Yet why in gods name on the view?  Why?  The dignity of the White House is disappearing faster than a reality TV show contestant and its sad to watch.

This is the first time a sitting president has gone on a daytime TV show according to ABC.  So hey, why not go on this soft-news, ‘women gossiping about inane things’ show.  PERFECT!  Lets talk about the newest reality show, the newest purses from coach, shoes, oh yea… and the well being of the citizens of the United States.  Jesus Christ I feel sick to my stomach.  Our commander and chief of all militaries is going on the biggest lump of shit in a tv talk show, to talk about god knows which pop culture topic. We all get to watch one of the most powerful men in the world trade shots with the likes of Elizabeth Hasselbeck, whos claim to fame is eating worms on a reality TV show.

The media landscape and the way people digest news and politics has changed, I wont be ignorant to that.  With Twitter, facebook, google, wikipedia and others it’s a different world than it was 10 years ago.  For Christ sakes, a top commander of a war in Afghanistan was removed from his post because of an article in Rolling Stone.. over 92,000 classified military reports were leaked online, and Tiger Woods affairs trumped the passage of multiple senate bills.  Things have changed, but not to the point of desecrating the office of the president enough to go on The View.

The Press secretary Robert Gibbs actually said this was “another opportunity for the president to talk to people where they are.”  So they openly admit where people are is watching a tv show in the midday on a weekday.. Smart, great logic Gibbs.  Apparently going on The View, according to Gibbs, is a great way to communicate with all the men and women of the US.  Really?  All the men?  Last time I checked ALL men weren’t retarded and/or gay.

This is a show where it will most likely concentrate on Obama’s sex appeal and appearance but will anyone care past moronic View watchers? Likely not. In the time it takes to tape the show and then air it, a conservative dipshit like Sarah Palin or Bill O Reilly will have blogged or tweeted, and Fox News will have aired a days worth of shit ripping a “liberal” white house. All the while we are still in a pointless war, the economy is still unstable, and the Gulf of Mexico is 90% spilled oil and 10% ocean water. You want to appeal to people?  You want to reach people Obama?  Choose a different way than a bunch of women blabbering about your exercise routine in the White House… Hell, you obviously want to appeal to women.. so go on Oprah, at least I can respect Oprah.

You want to know what this will do?  It will get multiple internet clips of the shows conservative, Elizabeth Hasselbeck, attacking the president and furthering her career while Obama looks dumber.  Sparring with Elizabeth Hasselbeck and being hit on by a few other very old, and very ugly women is not my idea of progress Mr Prez.  Get back in the oval office, do some god damn work and quit trying to appeal to daytime tv show watchers.

Ron Artest charged into a crowd of fans and started a mini-riot.

Normally I could care less about a mid season basketball game and this was nothing different, until late in the 4^th quarter a tough foul escalated and Ron Artest ws in the middle of it.  Yet the refs calmed him down and he laid down on the announcers table until it cooled off, but then a fans beer cup landed on his chest and he snapped.

If you were never privileged enough to see this, check it out.  The insanity starts at 1:40 if you don’t wanna watch all the crap leading up to it.

So this was fucking GREAT.  I hate most basketball players because theyre jerk offs who think their amazing at a mediocre game.  So seeing an all out brawl go down made me the biggest Ron Artest fan on the planet.  I laughed my ass off for 15 minutes as he went completely insane and actually decked a couple fans.  Yet the NBA front office suspended him, made him go through mandatory treatments etc etc.  Thus castrating my favorite player/boxer in the NBA.

Its been 6 years since that mini-riot, and in that time Artest has bounced around the NBA slowly becoming less and less psychotic and less awesome.  Instead of bumping people and “punking bitches” left and right, he turned more to making rap music and bizarre post game interviews.  All the fans that used to love to hate this guy have started falling in love with him, which devastates me.  I loved the psycho asshole that was all about messin people up and getting in players heads.  Yet I cant argue with an NBA championship which he won this season with the Lakers.  But I like seeing bench clearing brawls rather than a basketball game.. so it might just be me.

So in the evolution of Ron Artest I’ve seen a borderline psychotic become a beloved sports figure even to the point where he was invited to play in a kids coed dodgeball game.  Last week he played a game of dodgeball in the Melrose “A” Mazing League. More than not go crazy and punch a 12 year old in the face, he threw like girl and was knocked out of the game by a scrawny white kid in black tights.  My god what has happened to my beloved crazy man?  Maybe one day he will revert to what made me love him.. an uncontrollable ragemachine, wrapped up in a ball of crazy.

This time around it didn’t happen to involve young boys.. it happened to older boys.  An Italian magazine has released a report on three priests in Rome going on a homo sexy time bananza. The reporter Carmelo Abbate, went out and used hidden cameras, and other investigative means to compile the story. On top of secret cameras Abbate also had an accessory follow him and the priests to several gay clubs, and even set up the accessory to do the hibbity dibbity with one of the priests.. you know.. for more credibility.

The people behind the magazine claim this story is not to create a controversy, or to just sell copies… HA! my asshole… they explain that they wanted to expose a certain sect of the church.  Which sect, im unsure of… But I do know its making everyone from the pope to any ol priest in the Catholic Church look like a freak job.  Maybe the father of the church should carry around a leather S&M mask and anal beads.. just to be prepared.

Although gay guys are hiding in a religious corporation that does not condone homo’s, I still think secretly videotaping people in their private lives is pretty awful.  Your not a church inquisitor, or an investigator for the Vatican, who these gay preists turned themselves over to… what gives this douchebag reporter the right to follow around, secretly videotape, and then entrap them with a gay buddy?  I know reporters can sink pretty low, but god damn.. somebody resurrect Walter Kronkite.

Even though the current Pope doesn’t have the best track record in dealing with sex scandals thus far, he has explained that they are now starting a “rigourous investigation to find persons unworthy of priestly life.”  Well Id rather you find the child molestors before the purely gay ones Mr. Pope, but hey, whatever gets you people off your ass to find the NAMBLA members…

Once diving a little deeper into the story I found a smidge of information very interesting and that is.. many in the Vatican, and the rest of the Catholic Church, believe child molestation is due to the behavior of homosexual priests.  What!?!  Being gay doesn’t make you rape little boys.. SORRY CHIEF.  They may have disgusting butt sex with another dude, but that doesn’t evolve into rubbing little kids… To back me up there is almost no scientific basis for a conclusion like that, but it’s the Catholic Church so science is the devil.  The mass exercise of child molestation came from cover ups by bishops and other priests, and lack of prosecution.

Ok, so from my jumbled ramblings you can see this whole thing is just one big sloppy clusterfuck.  Three priests got caught red handed, or red assed if you will, and a slummy reporter caught them.  Are they the first priests to partake in hypocritical undertakings?  NOPE.  Yet their lack of control and love of weener has cast an even bigger and uglier shadow on other faithful priests and religious figures which is really unfair.  This whole thing unfortunately is going to lead to a witch hunt of sorts to out the gay priests yet probably leave child molesters to carry on.  Because if theres one thing the catholic church has taught me, its that being gay is waaaay more evil than destroying the psychological health and well being of a kid.

8. Ultimate Alliance
-The movie is coming soon; but, what will unite Marvel’s Ultimate Alliance? I think the story
from the second game is a good start! I would just prefer not to see the predictable aliens or
everyone vs. Hulk….Wait this game had aliens…dammit! The reason I suggest this is more to
the hopes that more established characters would be in the movie, I hate Wolverine now but I
would still like to see him in this movie.
7. Ghost Busters
-Ghost Busters franchise was made 20 years ago and yet this game takes place 2 years after
it. The essence of Ghost Busters was shockingly preserved like it was in carbonite, these guys
still have and I want it! Ok so the game itself wasn’t as fun as watching the movies. The best
part is that even though the technology does evolve during the course of the game it still looks
McGuyvered by Egon.
6. Fallout
-Once again the main aspect of this game that makes it so great is that it’s free roam, which can’t be translated into a movie very well. The saving grace for this choice is the incredible story that has you emerging from a fallout shelter into a nuclear wasteland which is full of interesting
locations and characters; A major city in the game is a repurposed naval battleship and inside you can find ghouls! An interesting irony is that this story set in a distant future which emulates the 1950s.
5. Warcraft
-This movie has been in the works forever but it’s on this list because it’s not a movie yet!
It’s the story we have all seen before, a bunch of people get together and oppress another race and said race must band together under one leader and achieve freedom. The characters of this story are similar to Lord of the Rings in that one side has Human races while the other side of the
battle has humanoid races, but the “bad guys” aren’t really bad and they’re actually not drones.

Hopefully Blizzard will acknowledge the Horde this time, unlike the South Park episode…

4. Assassins creed
-Assassins Cree not only gave us a new way to view our ancestor’s memories it also introduced
new interpretation to religious historical truths. The story opens your mind to new ideas and
gives us something to debate, I find myself preferring what was presented in Assassins Creed
instead of what I read in the Bible. To make it better the games are building to a conclusion with
the 2012 event.

3. Star Wars: The Force Unleashed
- The Force Unleashed is an awesome game that was something new instead of the Clone Wars period that Lucas is drowning us in! While lacking the plot twists of usual Star Wars stories this game was still full of faced paced action, astonishing character development, and the inevitable
good vs. evil. Did I mention lightsabers? On top of all that awesome, The Force Unleashed was exactly that; unleashing the Force! Pushing Stormtroopers through walls is very satisfying and would translate very well to the big screen.
2. Uncharted
-Uncharted 2 was practically already a movie thanks to its full utilization of the PS3’s raw power. The graphics in Uncharted 2 were breath taking and incredibly varied! The music was unique and very fitting to each scene and emotion. Of course the characters were deep and quite
ranging…oh and the two chicks are sexy! Imagine the rich story to be a combination of Indiana
Jones, James Bond, and Rambo. The best part is how long the story is, it could easily be a 2 to 3
hour movie and no one would be bored.

1. Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic
-What?! 2 Star Wars games in this list? Yes, I’m a nerd and KOTOR was a no brainer for me.
Knights of the Old Republic was a perfect Star Wars story and was infinitely better than the
crap we were subjected to these past several years. Knights had everything from learning the
Force to building a lightsaber to a love interest to OMG WHAT THE FUCK OMG I JUST
SHIT MY PANTS plot twists. Unlike Force Unleashed, Knights had a unique soundtrack that
captured the essence of Star Wars without eluding the infamous trilogy’s established music.
The best part is that it’s set an even longer time ago in which it doesn’t matter how futuristic
it seems anything can happen because everyone forgets everything after a millennia or two.

Honorable Mentions: Halo, Infamous, Arkham Asylum, God of War, Red Dead Redemption,
and any of the Pierce Brosnan Bond games because they’re all better than his Bond
movies…well except Goldeneye of course! I didn’t a lot of games because I probably never
played them. If I missed any then please let me know with some angry comments, or you could
be nice and just add to my list.

Stay tuned for my list on Movies That Should Be Games…if done correctly.

That’s right, you read that title right.  Mel Gibson isn’t the psycho, racist, abusive, monsterbeast the media keeps portraying him as.  For god sakes, leave the fucking guy alone.  Did you know his EX WIFE, the bane of some mens existence, has backed him up through all of the crap the media keeps putting out there?  Robyn, who was married to Mel Gibson for decades and had 7 kids with him provided an affidavit specifically stating he was NEVER abusive in decades of marriage.  Yet Mels ex-girlfriend (who in my opinion is most likely a money grubbing gold digging whore) is claiming hes an abusive monster.  When the hell does a man magically become abusive after 50 years old?  IT DOESN’T HAPPEN.  Sorry folks.  Abusive men show a past of violence not a magical decision to deck a woman in the face when hes 53 years old.  Yet when you’re a woman with no talent or ability in our world, an abusive boyfriend sure makes for a good story to tell a civil lawyer and judge.

So why is the media portraying Mel Gibson this way?  Well, the racist/ignorant part of me wants to say because he made The Passion of the Christ, which pissed off Jews who control the media into going on a smear campaign against him.  Haha, but I would never say such things.  That’s just nonsense….

Just like any other celebrity who has gone through difficult times, the media is going to town on a person when theyre wounded.  Any A list celebrity that has any kind of meltdown or bump in the road in their life gets “the treatment”.  Tiger Woods, Lindsay Lohan, Brittany Spears..  the list goes on.  So he got wasted drunk and ILEGEDLY said something anti-semitic.  Ive seen a drunk guy walk straight up to a black guy and drop the N bomb right in their face.  When your drunk you say and do stupid shit!!  Wow, sorry to bust out that revelation on you..

Now these bullshit tapes have leaked online with Mel supposedly yelling and screaming psycho garbage.  Now im not one to lose my cool too often, but I have before and Ive seen others lose it before.  You say FUCKED UP THINGS when your on the defensive and pissed off.  You go for the jugular, you want to verbally rape someone that has snapped your last string of sanity… You think of the worst possible things they would want to hear and you say them, you want to scare them, you want to demolish them.  Is this a good thing?  No, not at all.  Is it human? Hell yes its human and just because hes an A list celebrity doesn’t make him some kind of deity of perfection.

When I look at the facts, Mel Gibson has definitely said some dumbass things, and gotten a little too drunk a few times.  Does this make him the evil monster the media is portraying him as?  HELL NO.  This man has made some of the most awesome movies ever… Braveheart, Lethal Weapon, Apocolypto, Payback, Mad Max.. Hes a great actor, producer and director so let the man continue providing these awesome pieces of film.  I will watch anything that has Mel Gibsons name on it, and so should you.  What he does in his personal life doesn’t change what he does in his medium.  So this is why I say Mel Gibson is awesome… Because Im backing him up.  Mistakes or not, hes a church going man, he provides charitable donations, and hes raising 7 kids in this messed up world.  Cut the guy some slack.

Apparently there are dozens of reports going ape shit (haha, im so clever) in the Chinese media about monkeys being trained for jihad, by terrorist groups to go against US troops.  I shit you not, there are legitimate reports that monkeys are being trained to use weapons against US military troops.

The report explained, AND I QUOTE… “The militants were arming the primates with AK-47 rifles, machine guns and trench mortars in the Waziristan tribal region bordering Pakistan and Afghanistan. The monkey soldiers are being turned into snipers at a secret Taliban training base and are in turn being rewarded with ‘bananas and peanuts’.”

I realize these monkeys are being trained to kill our boys over there.. but who isn’t laughing their ass off about this right now?? Seriously.. these psycho sons of bitches are actually making sniper monkeys.  Say that shit out loud, seriously.. you laughed? Didn’t you?

These fundamentalist fuckheads make IED’s, suicide bombs, and now monkey soldiers.  I suppose paying soldiers in bananas and peanuts is less expensive than paying for enough muslim fundamentalist crap to brainwash poverty ridden folks in the middle east.  So it’s a good business maneuver, because monkeys will follow with far less brainwashing.  The US is probably working on building terminator machines to slaughter these monsters, and they are training monkeys..

Now I don’t doubt you could teach the super basic principles of shooting to a monkey, but once you teach the monkey to shoot a gun… would you want to be any where near that???  Aim cant be good.. but I guess with their belief system if they die teaching a monkey to kill the infidel, they may still go upstairs to 79 virgins.. so its WIN WIN!

The specifics of the story explain that these soldier monkeys can now operate the Kalashnikov, Bren light machine gun, and have the ability to identify and attack U.S. soldiers based on the appearance of their uniforms.  This blows my mind..  Monkeys have pretty good aim when they shit in their hand and throw it at you during a trip to the zoo, but a fucking MACHINE GUN!?  Wow.

When you dig deep into the roots of this story, its being discredited by dozens of US military sources and other online analysts, but how the hell is it spreading through Chinese media so prominently then??  I say monkeys are evolving and after they kill off the bottom of the barrel humans such as the “middle east militants” they are coming after us.  Planet of the Apes style son, and there gonna put their stinking paws all over us cause theyre damn dirty apes.

Awards show musts

1. 1. Dressing up in outfits that cost more than a regular persons yearly salary
2. 2. A host that tries WAY too hard for a laugh
3. 3. Will Ferrell promotes his current movie project

The Espys hit on every point, then added the stereotypical moments only professional athletes can provide. I.e. “I thank my Lord Jesus Christ who makes all things possible, and dedicate this to the kingdom of God coming to Super Bowl 42.” As David Tyree said from the Giants.  Im all for a belief system that makes you a better person, but good god man its football, and you think the kingdom of god is most concerned with Super Bowl 42?  That’s a smidge egocentric.  Just a smidge though, cause football is awesome… LOVE IT.

The Espys also give us the desperate attempt to give other lowly sports more attention. Such as soccer, lacrosse, dodgeball, midget tossing etc.  C’mon, quit ramming sports down our throat.  I understand ESPN is the ultimate hype machine and always will be, but at least stick to the interesting sports.  If you want to promote the upcoming NFL season, the British Open, or next weeks MLB games.. go for it, you’re a sports organization I can respect that.  But devoting time in this show to explain the greatness of womens basketball?  For god sakes ESPN, I hope the WNBA at least paid you the last 5 dollars and 23 cents it has in the bank.

All in all the ESPY’s could have been worse, but in the wake of LeBron James’ retarded ass hour long ass kissing fest EPSN needs to be more concerned with sports coverage. If they keep fading in this direction they may pull an MTV and we’re watching lacrosse player reality shows, and morons living their life’s in front of the camera.  Yet they need to generate ratings for an ever increasingly stupid population and they need to do whatever it takes to stay afloat.  I was entertained by the ESPY’s and still watch ESPN but without amazing writers, like myself, criticizing ESPN for straying from the sports I know and love they may fall to the dark side.  So in the end, if your bored, you can catch the multiple reruns of the ESPYs for a little entertainment, but be wary.. these people make millions of dollars, and are better than you.

Laughing like massive potheads and discovering the world as only two young misogynistic guys can do… They had me laughing like butthead, licking fly zappers, and using tampons to stop a bloody nose.  Its highly imitatable kiddies.  Yet in the later 90s Beavis and butthead went bye-bye, but not before the film “Beavis and Butthead Do America” was made which is a classic of modern filmmaking.

Ever since the show ended 13 years ago rumors have gone around thousands of times that it was coming back.  Mike Judge even messed with people on several occasions but nothing came about except DVDs, and holiday specials.  Although now, Mike Judge may be working on about 30 new episodes, much to my childish delight and sick humor cravings.

Im not only excited about new episodes of the show with skits, but how awesome would it be to see music videos again?  Those things don’t even hardly exist any more.. Beavis and Butthead could single handedly bring that shit back.. and rip into the weird garbage of lady GaGa, or just laugh for 3 straight minutes to a Justin Bieber song.  I would like to see that, and other people should too.  It might actually force music to be awesome rock again… not poppy crap, or pussy emo music.. but legit Rock.  Mitchy likes this idea.

In the past when old rumors came up or interviewers questioned him about it, it was almost always “Im just too busy, or I have to much going on.”  Well King of the Hill is gone, the Goode Family bombed and Mike Judge has no movies in the works.  ITS TIME MIKE JUDGE.  Beavis and Butthead are needed to rip into the dipshit youths of today.

Basketball is right near soccer in my interest level of sports for a majority of reasons.  Unless the game is in a cartoon alternate dimension and Bill Murray happens to be around, I don’t really care.  So to have an entire primetime special dedicated to Lebron James choosing a team he will play for is fucking retarded.  It got so ridiculously hyped that they even had a flavored water commercial paying tribute to Lebron James and his “EPIC DECISION”.  AAAAAAHHHHH, I want to cuss until my head explodes and shoot a hole in my TV!  What the fuck is going on!?!  And you know the little ticker that runs across the screen on certain channels, with late breaking news?  During this shows commercial break, a ticker actually came across telling you that Lebron was on stage ready to make his decision.  A TICKER NEWS BREAK, ABOUT THE SHOW YOU ARE WATCHING!!!!  JESUS CHRIST I HATE THIS WORLD!

ESPN took a piece of news that should have been a news ticker during sportscenter, and made it into an hour long “licking Lebron James’ ass” special.  ESPN duct taped sandpaper around a 20 inch dildo and rammed it into the asses and ears of people dumb enough to buy into this hype.  Good reporting, solid journalist work, and reporting integrity were sacrificed all to get a big audience to tune into a bullshit special that wasn’t worth 5 minutes of my time, let alone an hour.  The main concern behind this special, was getting people to tune in to advertisements for ESPN specials, and sports coverage like the World Cup and Homerun Derby.  Delivering pertinent information, and providing a journalistic service took a backseat to this garbage and tarnished my views of ESPN forever.

Any executive or “brain” behind Lebrons special should feel dirty for the rest of their lives.  ESPN clearly stated to me that entertainment and programming will trump sports and journalism at all times.  I don’t consider myself a naive person, and realize any media outlet needs ratings to survive and profit.  Yet to do it in this way is just disgusting, and any producer involved in this gag should be stoned in a public area with feces and rocks.

Right now the FBI has a $10,000 reward out for him, which isn’t much for an outlaw.. John Dillinger had a 10,000 reward out on him from the FBI, but that was 70 years ago.  Unlike the old school outlaws of the wild west and depression era “public enemies” Harris-Moore is a non-violent outlaw. Shauna Snyder is a private investigator and paralegal in Washington State that has helped with Harris-Moores defense in the past, and firmly believes he will not be a violent offender.  She has explained that no previous crime or personality indications show that he will commit any violent crimes.

His life wasn’t exactly happy and peaceful and he just became a whiney pussy and rebelled.  Colton grew up on Camano Island in Washington where his Dad walked out when he was 2 years old, then a stepfather came in but died shortly after his 7^th birthday.  His mom has explained in interviews that the death of his stepdad left Colton disconnected and different.  He got nailed for his first crime, theft, when he was just 12.

Colton continued to rebel while growing up and his mom has also explained that cops harassed him constantly on Camano Island and blamed him for crimes he had nothing to do with. His mother was quite poor and Colt grew up in very low income situations. Harassment and mistreatment continued for many years in his hometown and finally in 2007 he was charged with 23 different felonies.  The prosecutor didn’t go after him due to having a weak case and he got a plea bargain for 3 years at the age of 16.  Part of it in Juvy, and part in a group home.  But in 2008 while at the group home he escaped, and has been on the loose since.  Its been over 2 years since he escaped and since then he has been suspected of burglaries and thefts all over the country.  Hitting Washington, Idaho, Illinois, Iowa, Nebraska and South Dakota, also getting out of country into Canada and now the Bahamas.

So hes a thief.. why is he called the Barefoot Bandit?  Apparently in most of his crimes hes committed them while Barefoot… thus the name.

This guys antics have been getting noticed every where, and hes even got website fan pages that have been made for him and a facebook fan page approaching 50,000 fans.  So why is a thief and outlaw getting so much attention and love?

Ive got to think it’s the underdog story… The kid with nothing, who lived a mediocre life got tired of it and now hes able to fly airplanes, sail on half million dollar yachts, and travel the world.  Even though its all illegal it appeals to anyone especially in such god awful economic times.  His name is out there and getting bigger, but the FBI seems to be getting close to his capture.  Yet while he is out there the little guy is beating the man, the lower class is spitting in the face of the upper class and who doesn’t like that?  Sure we cant have everyone out their stealing and doing anything they want, but while Colton is out there and defying authority Ill be rooting for him.