Get the cat to love you

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noreply@blogger.com (WereBear) — Tue, 17 Aug 2021 14:00:00 +0000

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How to Get a Cat to Love Us

noreply@blogger.com (WereBear) — Wed, 17 Sep 2014 18:58:00 +0000

How do cats bond? What can we do to let the cat know we love them? How can we know the cat loves us?

Mithrandir, 4 months old, loves being with us

One of the beautiful things about cats is how they love us exactly in response to how much we love them.

Unlike dogs, who have a hierarchal social structure, cats have social reflexes which operate reciprocatively. In other words, cats treat others exactly how they have been treated.

If we act like we care that our cat's needs are met, if we act like we want our cats to see us as friends, if we respond as though our cat's feeling have meaning to us... our cat will get the picture.

They will figure out that we do love them.

In my experience, this is unique in the pet kingdom. Other animals will understand that our commitment to our experience is in proportion to what they bring to the experience. Other humans might lag behind in that understanding this transaction. But, nonetheless, cats realize that our care equals our caring.

When we are able to successfully convey to our cats that we care about their welfare, they will be able to understand and reciprocate.

For help with connection with our cats, see Cat Affection Move: The Love Blanket.

The right number of kittens

noreply@blogger.com (WereBear) — Mon, 03 Feb 2014 15:30:00 +0000

Sometimes, we shouldn't get one kitten. We should get two!

Here are some examples of when it's better to get two kittens:

Who would they play with if each were alone?

When we are starting from scratch, and have no cats.
When our present cat is too old to keep up with a kitten.
When we have chosen a kitten who needs close companionship.

There are many shelters who encourage double adoptions, from offering a discount for a second cat to making sure cats leave the shelter in twos.

It's not just finding twice as many homes. It's much easier to get our cat's playtime and social needs meet when they have each other. This keeps our cats friendly and social with humans, too.

Some cats enjoy their solitude. But some cats really need lots of fellow cat playtime, like Alphas, or need a cat friend, like a Beta, or can use the reassurance of a fellow cat, like a Gamma.

If we are going to enjoy cats, we are going to want more. So getting cats two at a time create less friction and more fun... right from the beginning. To revitalize an older cat, or resolve a two cat conflict, Third Cat can be magic.

For an example of how this worked for a reader of mine, see Dear Pammy, It’s true about Cat Civilization.

How cats see us

noreply@blogger.com (WereBear) — Thu, 23 Jan 2014 15:30:00 +0000

Do cats see us as big cats?

Yes, they probably do. And we, sometimes. see our cats as small people, don't we?

Tristan will watch a movie. Without fish.

As seen at right, my cat Tristan is watching The Beast With a Million Eyes. It's not a a very good movie. It's also not a movie we would expect a cat to watch, being as it's not starring any fish, birds, or small rodents.

Tristan is also a talker, who asks for my attention with different "things" he says. When he wants to play on our apartment staircase, and then wants back in, he'll ring our hanging doorbells to let us know.

Certainly, Tristan can communicate his wishes, and he is a quick learner. It only took me showing him the bells twice for him to learn they would open the door.

I don't see his accomplishments as that different from a small, human, child. He asks for food and amusement and reassurance and for new things to be demonstrated to him.

When I'm not feeling well, he turns the tables, and tries to take care of me.

We are different species.

But in many ways, we are not that different.

For more, see Points of Engagement.

Multiple cat advantage: tattling!

noreply@blogger.com (WereBear) — Thu, 16 Jan 2014 15:30:00 +0000

One great reason to have multiple cats is how they will tell on each other.

Every family, classroom, or work group has at least one member who will tattle. Cats are the same way.

My three cat boys - James (l) is the tattletale

There are cats who come running to us when another cat is misbehaving. They are the kinds of cats who develop an understanding of our schedules and rules.

They find it uncomfortable to have these smooth routines disrupted. So whether it's a rowdy kitten or a cat who is taking over too much territory, these cats are quick to come to us when they feel other cats need policing.

This is a great advantage. We are in a better position to enforce fairness than the other cats are. But the other cats are in a better position to know what the other cats are up to than we are.

We should always encourage our cats to think of each other as friends. Maybe not best friends, but at least at the level of being social with each other.

Sometimes, like when another cat is sick or being bullied, we really need to know what is going on. So we can fix it.

For more about cats who like to supervise, see The Supervisor.

Cat litter training

noreply@blogger.com (WereBear) — Thu, 09 Jan 2014 15:00:00 +0000

It's really an oxymoron: cat litter training. Because our cat's instincts tell them what to do in the litter box. We just need to set it up correctly, and get out of the way.

Tristan, six months, in Litter Robot

Here is what our cat's instincts tell them:

Pick a new spot.
This is where the importance of clean litter comes in. Cats are drawn to it like iron to a magnet.
That is because their survival depends on not letting their presence be known to other creatures. Who might want to eat them.
Feel safe.
If we put our litter box next to the furnace that comes on unexpectedly, we create a situation where our cat does not feel comfortable using their litter box.
As much as we don't like using a gas station washroom, imagine using one while the door's not locked.
Easy access.
It's tempting to put the litter box as far away as possible. But then it's hard for our cat to get to, and we put off cleaning it.
There's a reason architects don't put the bathrooms in the furthest corner of the basement. We shouldn't put the litter box there, either.

By giving our cat's bathroom the same care and attention we give our own, we create a litter box our cats love to use. Then, we're both happy!

For more on this subject, see Clean Litter, Happy Cats.

Adopting the older cat

noreply@blogger.com (WereBear) — Thu, 02 Jan 2014 15:00:00 +0000

Sadly, many people consider a six month old kitten to be too old to be adopted.

This is six months. This is also cute.

This makes no sense. It's highly likely our cat will make it to fifteen. Are we going to quibble over .01666% of their life?

When we find a love interest we want to be serious about, we expect to meet them when they are grown up and have some opinions.

That is what makes them interesting.

People like getting tiny kittens for more reasons than their teeny cuteness. They think they can mold the Cat to Come by getting them young. They think they will have maximum time with them. They think they can avoid a bad outcome.

But none of this is guaranteed.

And people, especially those new to cats, don't realize those teeny tiny kittens come with matching teeny tiny attention spans.

It takes months to train little baby kittens. That same task can take a single day with an older cat, who knows how to think.

While kittens are a lot of fun, there's also fun to be had when we adopt an older kitten, or even a grown cat. Because what matters is how compatible we are. No matter how young our kitten, they already have their own personality.

When we adopt an older cat, we can much more easily figure out what that personality, is.

Read a touching story of why I agree it is Never too late.

Do we know what our cat is telling us?

noreply@blogger.com (WereBear) — Thu, 26 Dec 2013 15:00:00 +0000

We have a bit of a challenge when it comes to communicating with our cats. Humans talk to each other with words. Cats talk to each other with body language.

Olwyn and Tristan speak in body language

This is one of the reasons cats study us so closely. They are trying to figure out what our bodies are saying.

This is why I urge people to talk to their cats all the time. We can't help but signal our emotions with our bodies when we speak. Cats do learn key words from our speech.

When they put these two things together, they translate what we are saying so much better!

We should also pay close attention when our cat do try to speak with us. It's not at all unusual for a cat to make sounds with their humans. In fact, this is something cats only do with humans, not with other cats.

If our cat "speaks" to us, pay attention right away. Mention their name, get to our feet, indicate our willingness to provide what they are asking for.

Since cats speak with their body, their own instincts will compel them to "show" us what they want, by running to the kitchen or the window, or just twirl in place... if what they wanted was attention.

If what they want is some attention, we should give them some.

Find out why, when it comes to cats, we are so willing to be manipulated.

Cats smell better than us

noreply@blogger.com (WereBear) — Thu, 12 Dec 2013 15:00:00 +0000

How much better do cats smell than we humans? Twice as good? Five times as good? How about fourteen times better?

So if we can smell the litter box... we know our cat is actually smelling it that much more.

New laptop skin for looks, but to RJ, it's how it smells.

It's not just that cats are able to smell so much more than we do. It's also that it conveys that much more information to our cat.

To a cat, another's scent tells them a lot about the mood, the activities, even the state of health of the other being.

Like any Superpower, this ability can be as annoying as it is amazing. If our cats have a smidge of something on their fur, they know. They cannot rest until it is groomed away.

This is why cats are so interested in our shoes when we come home, and why they stick their heads into the grocery bags. We bring home a carnival of new smells when we buy new things and visit a new area.

So let's be understanding when our cats get intent on things we are not aware of.

Just because we can't smell it doesn't mean there is nothing there to smell.

For more on this cat SuperSense, read how cats smell.

Can we love a cat who is grown up?

noreply@blogger.com (WereBear) — Thu, 05 Dec 2013 15:00:00 +0000

We often want to get our cat as a kitten. There's nothing wrong with that. Except... we don't know what we are getting.

Three weeks old and we have no idea.

They are too young to give clues about their personality, and so much of their personality has already been set.

We don't think of kittens as already having a personality. We think of them as a blank slate where we can write whatever we want.

But this isn't true.

From the very beginning, our prospective cat's genetics could make them an Alpha, a Beta, or a Gamma. All great cats, but all very different experiences. And that's before they even emerge into our world.

Even at six weeks, which is really too young to leave their mother, our future cat has learned what beings they can trust. They have explored the world and formed opinions about it. They have learned to get along with their siblings... or not.

While kittens this young are learning all the time, they are not aware of it. Their short attention span means they are easily distracted and must be constantly reminded of proper behavior.

A cat past the kitten stage has full access to their thoughts, their collection of communication strategies, and a store of patience. We can establish a working relationship in a fraction of the time it takes to raise a kitten. When we meet our cat as an adult we can each discover things about ourselves, right away.

Of course we will make our own impression on our cat.

No matter what age we get them at.

Consider other cat ages with the cat acquisition continuum.

When our cats sleep with us

noreply@blogger.com (WereBear) — Thu, 28 Nov 2013 15:00:00 +0000

My cats love to cuddle with me, and never more than when I am stretched out and un-moving. That is because we and our cats have mismatched energy cycles.

There is still room for two people.

So often, our cat will want to sit on our lap, but we are busy, and bouncing up to use the bathroom or refresh our beverage or choose another movie to watch, and so we are the ones with an energy cycle that is too short.

It turns around. At night, we are down for seven to nine hours, while our cats are good for like... five. And there can be the problem.

Some cats find our recumbent presence so enjoyable, and their own needs for activity so low, that they will patiently wait until we get up.

But if our cats are young, or energetic, or simply want to spend fun time with us, they will not.

Don't think we can bypass issues by not letting them sleep with us. They want to, and being locked out will just make them think we don't know they are locked out there. They will let us know. Surely we will do something about this once we know!

So enjoy it when cats sleep with us, and revel in the closeness. We can train our cats to behave until we are ready to get up.

Find out why cats are morning people.

How to Fix These Five Annoying Cat Things

noreply@blogger.com (WereBear) — Thu, 14 Nov 2013 15:51:00 +0000

As a cat training consultant, I get asked about the same challenges, over and over. So here's the top five questions... and what to do about them.

Prickly paws. It's a wonderful thing when our cat leaps on our lap and starts "making biscuits." It's not quite so wonderful when they get carried away... and start jabbing those razor-sharp claws into our delicate areas.

It has been my experience that our cats are zoning out at such times. We cannot train them "not to do that" because they are honestly not aware that they are doing that! Trying to break them out of their happy haze will simply hurt their feelings, not teach them anything.

So the best thing to do is to keep a blanket, fleece, or throw handy to put over our lap or other danger areas. Then they can say, "You're my momma!" without hurting us.

For a fuller explanation, see Kneading and Nursing at Any Age.

Night crying. Are the cats keeping us awake, wailing outside our closed bedroom door? There's the problem! Our cats are lonely. They miss us. The true solution is to invite them into our bedroom, for them to be a part of the night-time ritual we need to establish.

We best do this by leaving our door open, so they can come and go as needed. Cats cycle their energy much more quickly than we do, so they are not going to sack out for the eight or so hours we need. This is also far too long a time to miss us. It's a compliment that they want to be with us, so we should take it as such.

For more, gain understanding of The 3 AM Problem.

Cats love to sleep with us. We need to train them so we're both happy.

Up too early. This is another part of the energy-cycle mismatch. We cycle 8+ hours. Cats are, at most, 4+ hours. If we leave our bedroom door open, our cats can find a toy and play with it, visit their litter, have a snack, and come back to bed... all without disturbing us.

Young and energetic cats might need more, so we should come up with things for them to do. Now is the time to activate a battery operated toy, or sprinkle treats on the cat tree or puzzle box. If our cat still demands our attention, we gently hug them. This teaches them that when they try to get us up, we will hug them. If that's what they want, great! If not, they must find something else to do.

This is part of teaching them "how humans work." For more about keeping our cats engaged, see why cats are morning people

Bugging us for food. At least, this is how we see it. To our cats, that might not be the case. We think they are asking for food, but it might be that what they want is amusement, interaction, and communication.

So often, we think it's about food, when it's about attention. Remember, our cats ask for things, and we assume it is about food. But it might not be. It might just be about love.

Find out when cats are always right

Trying to trip us. We are all familiar with the times cats throw themselves in front of our feet. This is actually the way they let their mothers know they needed food. Everytime this still works, we have trained our cats to get our attention, in this way.

We need to re-train them. Teach them to move aside when we use the word "Gangway!" by saying the word, and then clearing the hallway with a can of air (aimed at the ceiling) to let them know it's their safety we are worried about. And it's true, isn't it? Soon, we say our magic word, and the cats clear the area.

Understand when they use Cat Communication Move: Roadblock to remind us that they need attention.

Our cats can't help but use their instincts to get in touch with us... even when this does not work. So we need to work on our mutual communication so each of us gets the right message. Find out more about the fun and easy ways to train our cats. So we are both happy!

Cats love our voice

noreply@blogger.com (WereBear) — Thu, 07 Nov 2013 15:00:00 +0000

Until we start using our voice to express affection to our cats, we might not know its power.

Tristan is an eager helper at podcast time

As seen at right, my cat Tristan loves when I start setting up to record a podcast.

He listens to my voice with great excitement. He races around the room. I have to hold him and pet him and share his joy, until he gets worn out and takes a nap.

Then, I can record the podcast.

Cats have wonderful hearing, and so they love to hear sweet tones in our voice, especially when we talk about them.

This is why cats "bother" us when we are on the phone. No one else is here... we must be talking about them!

Using a soft voice, happy tones, and their name or nicknames, is how we draw our cat to us and let them know we care about them. A favorite way to make my cat feel special is to make up a song about them. We don't have to be good singers, we just need to find a melodic song that we can put their name in.

We will find our cat appearing to hear us sing their song.

So it is perfectly all right to talk to our cat in baby talk, and whisper when we put our head near their ears, and otherwise act in a way which shows we know how sensitive their hearing is.

And how sensitive their hearts.

Curious? Listen to one of my In a Purrfect World shows.

How to get the cat to dislike you

noreply@blogger.com (WereBear) — Thu, 31 Oct 2013 14:00:00 +0000

Cats don't like being teased unless we love them. Is the cat being teased by someone they love?

A cat who hides is not having fun

It's easy to tell. A happy, relaxed cat, being gently teased by a good friend, will be lying on their side or back, and will respond with gentleness of their own.

A cat who is not having a good time will be trying to get away, backing off because they feel threatened, and wanting to hide.

A lashing tail, laid-back ears, and stretched eyelids to make the eyes into slits; these are signs the cat is on the defensive.

Often, the teaser will claim the cat is "enjoying" themselves because they continue to defend themselves against the teasing, instead of running away. But that is because the cat is literally afraid of turning their back on the threatening person.

If we think our cat is not having a good time with the teasing; we are right. We should get the offending person to back off on the teasing. If the cat then runs away, we have been proven right.

We should always stick up for our cat. After all, when our cat sticks up for themselves, somebody can get hurt.

And even though it is always the fault of the teaser, they usually don't see it that way.

Find out The Truth about Cat Teasing.

Why our cat is not being naughty

noreply@blogger.com (WereBear) — Thu, 24 Oct 2013 14:00:00 +0000

We tend to think our cats misbehave on purpose. Just because they are doing things we don't like.

Are they fighting... or playing?

Our cats never see it that way, though. If they are doing something, it is something they want to do.

And their instincts tell them, if they want to do this thing, it's because they need to do this thing.

We should remember that in our cat's natural world, their instincts were perfect guides to their behavior. If they were hungry or tired or thirsty, their instincts would guide them to what they should do to fix that problem.

In our home, our cats are still obeying the urgings of their instincts. Only, in our world, it doesn't always work the same way.

If our cat is hungry, they race around, maybe knock things off tables or knock their dish around the kitchen. They are trying to use their hunting instincts to get themselves fed. If we get mad at them, we aren't listening to what they are trying to say.

And we aren't stopping their "bad" behavior, because they aren't getting fed, either.

Whenever our cat does something we don't like, we should stop and ask ourselves what they are trying to get with this behavior. Do they need to play? Do they need their dishes attended to? Are they distressed about something?

If we don't like the ways they ask for things, we should figure out how to give them better ways.

Find out more about why “naughty” is a misconception.

What is a cat's favorite toy?

noreply@blogger.com (WereBear) — Thu, 17 Oct 2013 22:13:00 +0000

These are the kinds of toys which have a wand to wave, a string at the end, and a toy connected to the string. They can create a lot of excitement with their speed and versatility.

Princess Olwyn tests the new toy

A wand toy has many advantages over other kinds:

We keep our hands safely on the wand, while the cats pounce safely on the toy.
It is easier to mimic prey behavior with the flex and movement of the wand.
We can make more extravagant movements, getting our cat to run and jump to keep up.
We can use it to make their scratching post, or cat tree, more interesting, by dragging the toy end over its surface.
We can get our more sedate cats racing around and getting needed exercise.
We can get our kittens racing around and wearing themselves out... right before bedtime.

We should be careful, though, because with much power comes much responsibility!

We must be aware of where the wand tip is at all times, especially when our cat is racing around. Keep the tip in contact with the floor if the cat is engaged with the toy end, and might try to run away with it.

Don't leave our cat alone with it. They can drag the wand around and break it, or destroy the toy end.

Be sure to put the wand toy away in a safe place when we are done, so our cat doesn't try to play with it by themselves.

Read my review of Bird Catcher PRO, my cats' current favorite!

Equality is the key to cat friendship

noreply@blogger.com (WereBear) — Tue, 30 Jul 2013 01:10:00 +0000

Power of love.

Love is about equality.

That is what we tap into when we discover that our cat can actually love us. And we, in turn, can love them back.

So many people fall into the misconception that lets them believe that a relationship built on inequality would work. But that is not true.

To love, we need to see the other being as an equal partner. Equally available to help us lift our burdens. Equally available to exchange respect and regard.

Like it or not, this is what our cats require for a happy pet relationship. As independent, intelligent, and autonomous beings, cats ask us for equality in the friendship.

No one is more powerful or important than any other being.

Find out the power of equality when we discover the power of spoiling.

Why we have to apologize to our cat

noreply@blogger.com (WereBear) — Fri, 26 Jul 2013 22:08:00 +0000

Recently, I stepped on Tristan's tail. Of course, it was an accident. He was under a chair, except for his tail. I was rushing around, late for work. Fortunately, I was still wearing my slippers, and he wasn't hurt.

Except for his feelings.

Tristan lives on love

Cats think everything we do is on purpose. After all, everything they do is on purpose! So when we accidentally hurt them, we have to let them know it was an accident.

For Tristan, it meant following him as he fled into the bedroom, all the while saying I didn't mean to, I didn't want to hurt him, I'm so sad now.

I talked to him as he hid under a chair. It's wasn't hiding under the bed; where I could not get reach him. This was a place I could reach him.

So I petted him, and as he relaxed I pulled him out from under the chair for a big hug.

He needed to know I still loved him. This is how he understands that I didn't mean to hurt his tail. This is how I explain that it was an accident.

I act upset in a low-key, sorrowful, way. I keep following him around, apologizing. This lets my voice and body language convey my meaning.

When Tristan let me hug him, I knew he had forgiven me. Now I was sure he understood that I had not done this on purpose. That I still loved him.

How else would he know?

For more on this topic, see Dear Pammy, Does my cat know I didn’t mean to?

Are we upsetting our cat?

noreply@blogger.com (WereBear) — Mon, 24 Jun 2013 23:45:00 +0000

We might not realize all the ways we actually upset our cat when all we are trying to do is be friends.

Then we get upset because all we are trying to do is be friends.

But it's not enough for us to have good intentions. If our cat does not know we have good intentions, it does not matter, does it? But we can, with the best intentions in the world, try to make friends with our cat, do all the wrong things, and ruin a potentially great friendship.

Are we making these mistakes?

Using harsh punishment methods
Not playing with the cat
Not giving the cat what they need
Blaming the cat for "being stubborn" about training

We must realize that our cat is a marvelous example of a Supreme Predator, and all their instincts are intact and fully functioning. This is how they got the job in the first place. We said, "Oh dear, all these rats and mice are eating our all food," and the cat said, "I can take care of that for you."

They are, really, super-heroes.

When we get upset about them doing something, we need to understand that "something" is something they have to do: their instincts demand it.

Are they scratching on the couch? They need a sturdy scratching post.

Are they knocking stuff off the bookcases and knicknack tables? It's because they have to look out the window, or have a high perch.

Are they trying to play with our things? They need their own things to play with!

Cats are highly intelligent creatures who have certain needs. We meet those needs; and everyone is happy!

For more about how we can make our cats miserable without knowing that is what we are doing, see The Blame Game.

What are cats like?

noreply@blogger.com (WereBear) — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 01:23:00 +0000

Once upon a time, if we wanted to know what cats were like, we had to actually have cats. Who liked us.

This was the reason there was such a divide on the topic of cats. People who lived with cats, who loved them, would have a great time. But people, who did not understand cats, would not believe it.

But now?

Now, it is very different. We don't have to actually have a cat to observe cats doing intelligent, funny, or sweet things. Now, we get to see anyone's cat doing intelligent, funny, or sweet things.

This has been a great boon for cats. People are able to see that people who love cats are not making it up. Their cat really does do funny things, and make them feel happy, and cares about them.

Cats really are great pets!

For more on this topic, see my post, Has the Internet helped cats?

Fit our cat into our life

noreply@blogger.com (WereBear) — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 00:32:00 +0000

If we feel we are not getting enough cat companionship, we might not be "letting the cat into our life" enough. The more we involve our cat in daily activities, the more we enjoy time with our cat... without trying.

I know that letting the cat "help" us with changing the sheets, putting groceries away, and assembling our hobby items, is not efficient. But it is: fun. We have to look at our cat's input as something enjoyable.

Because they do.

Cats love doing things with us. We are the Masters of the Universe. We make food appear out of round metal objects. A simple gesture makes fresh water happen. And they love to interact with us, because they love us and want to spend time with us.

All of this gets thrown away when we don't make the small amount of effort required to fit the cat into our life.

We get a pet so we have someone living to share our life with. This is a simple fact. If we want something more complex, we get a life partner. If we want something simple, we get a goldfish.

A cat is the perfect balance between these two extremes. Flexible enough to adapt to any circumstance, yet intelligent and emotional enough to fulfill human needs.

So make room, for our cat, in our life. We will both appreciate it.

For more, see Companionship Timing.

Do cats manipulate humans?

noreply@blogger.com (WereBear) — Wed, 29 May 2013 02:02:00 +0000

One of the complaints about cats is how they are "manipulative."

What does this mean? Seems like it's based on the way cats get us to do stuff. Oh, isn't that terrible!

Yet, when a dog brings his ball over and stares at us, it's just, "The dog wants to play! Isn't that cute!" Yes, it is. Dogs like to chase things, and we are excellent at throwing things. Thus, love.

But cats are the same way. It's just that their "play" is different. In the wild, cats don't get dinner by chasing it, the way dogs do. Cats get dinner by outwitting it.

So when they play, that is what they do.

Cats learning how we work is just, you know, how they work. Cats put their intelligence on the line, every day, as they work on their understanding of how others think. This is what makes cats so fascinating and fun.

Of course they try to get us to do what they want! Isn't that what we are doing to them?

The more we play the cat's game, the more they will respect us. And, then...

Up their Game.

Learn more about the way cats work our levers with Willing to Be Manipulated.

Does our cat want a kitten?

noreply@blogger.com (WereBear) — Tue, 28 May 2013 22:01:00 +0000

Let's get our cat a kitten! It's a very attractive idea. But it's not, necessarily, one our cat would endorse.

Some cats would love a kitten. Some cats would love two kittens. How can we tell which kind our cat is? I'm glad to tell you.

Because I'm the last person on earth to talk anyone out of a kitten.

However, as much as we all enjoy a bumbling little beanhead spreading cuteness throughout our home, this is might not be our existing cats' dream scenario. We should remember that our cats, especially past the age of three, are not as thrilled with having their heads tackled as they once might have been.

If the real reason we are getting a kitten is because we want a kitten, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. But we should keep our existing cats in mind. If they are past the age of kittenhood, or low energy, or laid-back... we are not getting a kitten for them. We are getting a kitten for us.

If we are getting a kitten for us, we should get two kittens. Because they can play with each other and stay out of our own, and our older cat's hair and fur.

So to speak.

For more tips on how to tell, see the post, Dear Pammy, Should I get my cat a kitten?

Keep our cat guessing

noreply@blogger.com (WereBear) — Wed, 22 May 2013 01:54:00 +0000

While I'm not in favor of teasing the cat, we can play with a cat's schedule to increase our communication, and our cat's ability to adjust to the unexpected.

No matter how hard we might try, we are going to sleep late, come home late, or stay up late sometimes. If our cat is too dependent on regular schedules, this will upset them.

Are we doing this on purpose? Don't we love them?

If this happens when we are already rushing, and stressed, our cat will pick up on our distress. Then they will worry.

It is far better to play with our schedule when we have some control over events. That way, when we don't have control over events, our cat will still have a pattern to follow.

It's okay. They will still take care of me!

Our cat is used to making their own schedules in the wild. Partly based on the movements of their prey, and partly based on their own efforts and choices. Once living with humans, in their home, cats will adapt to our schedule.

They just need to know that if things get messed up, we will fix them again.

Find out more with Keeping our cats flexible.

The Only Cat

noreply@blogger.com (WereBear) — Thu, 07 Mar 2013 13:51:00 +0000

If we have a cat who doesn't get along with other cats, we have an Only Cat. This comes from the shelter designation: Must be only cat.

Sometimes, this works out fine. There's nothing wrong with this cat's relationship with humans.

They are an excellent choice for group housing or assisted living situations where the rules restrict a person to one pet. Seniors who want only one cat at a time can choose them with confidence. I've placed many Only Cats with people who needed such a companion because of their mobility or cognitive challenges. They weren't up to more cats; they wanted a single serving.

These cats work as well as any other kinds of cats when it comes to fixing loneliness!

The problem comes from those times when the rules change. When we are in a bigger place, or meet someone with their own cat, or we enjoy having a cat so much we want more... that's when we look at our Only Cat and wonder If Only.

We should understand that Only Cat need not be a life sentence. These cats don't know how to be social. They can learn.

I see Only Cats as a cat in need of healing. After all, every cat comes into this world as part of a group. Feral cat colonies exist because cats can get along great with each other when they have a bit of shelter and a reliable source of food. Cats love to have friends!

So we should look at our Only Cat in the same way. If we are happy, they are happy. If we want more cats... we can make them even happier. But it's all the more important that we do it right.

Learn more about helping them be more social with The Only Cat.