the garrett blog

Number 4

2012-01-28T02:53:37+08:00

I mentioned to the hairdresser tonight that I am pregnant with my fourth child. Her immediate response was "Why do you want to have four children?" What a strange question.

I told her "God gives them and I love them, duh." (ok, I didn't know how to say "duh" in Azeri, but I wanted to.)

Any woman who has been blessed with a surprise pregnancy or any woman who has tried unsuccessfully to carry a baby to term realizes that we are not in charge of the miracle of life. It's simply not in our hands.

A good friend of mine gave me an icon of the Theotokos and Jesus this week, and it has continually reminded me that the call of every mother is the same as that of the Theotokos. God gives and we say "yes." Every human is an icon of God, no less this tiny little icon in my womb. Yes, God, Thank You!!!

(The following excerpt is taken from http://www.roca.org/OA/155-156/155h.htm)

"We must be careful, however, not to over-emphasize this whole business of having children, having a certain number, etc. Saint John Chrysostom says, "Giving birth to children is a matter of nature. Far more important is the parents' task of educating their children's hearts in virtue and piety." Indeed, this puts the emphasis back where it belongs, rather than on negative things about birth control and family size. For what the Church wants us to understand and remember is that the children we bring into the world do not belong to us; they belong to God. We did not give them life; rather, God, using us as His instruments, called them into existence. In a certain way, we parents are really only babysitters for God's children. And so our greatest responsibility as parents is to bring up our children "in the Lord," so that they come to know, love, and serve their Heavenly Father."

My mom

2011-02-20T23:57:09+08:00

My mom is a very caring and giving person. She married a much older man - my dad is 18 years her senior - and she has been a care giver to him (along with tremendous help from my sister) for over 10 years.

She is a momma bear. If her cubs need anything, she's ruthless to give it to them. I can remember countless times when I'd forgotten my school lunches and my mom wouldn't just say "eat at the cafeteria" but she'd bother to drive to the school, often bringing me something extra special in place of a normal lunch. And this would go for anything we girls needed.

Last night, mom and I went to Target. She spared no expense to get her grandbabies the best of any toy she thought they'd like. I felt sorry for her pocketbook at the end of that trip! Then we went to Sam's and mom came back with a huge bag of oranges saying, "I know you like fruit, and we don't have any, so I bought you these."

After an exhausting shopping trip, we came home and ate, and then mom went up to the hospital to check on dad. She didn't want to. I'm sure everything in her screamed at her not to go. She was flat out tired. But she went.

She gives and gives. But, more importantly than all that really, is that she loves and loves. She loves her children and grandchildren in an epic way. She hurts to her core when we leave her and she rejoices when we visit her and she goes about her day giving, loving, praying, and being an amazing example of what a mom should be.

I love you, mom!

Taken last year when my mom and dad visited us in China. We're wearing coats in our apartment because they came right during a cold snap!

Culture Shock

2011-02-17T05:03:46+08:00

This is my first time back to America in 3 years. Of course, I'm experiencing some culture shock. Here's a brief list of what I've experienced so far... Forgetting shoes can stay on my feet when i'm inside someone's house. Ordering a large coke at McDonald's and having a freak out upon seeing how large a large coke is. Being able to be on Facebook and YouTube without having to use a VPN. Walking into a pharmacy with a cold, and walking out with the right medicine. Driving down a street without hearing car horns blaring or seeing anyone cut anyone off. Mom handing me the keys to her car... Only there was no "key" on it. Shopping for jeans and having a selection to choose in my size! Same for underwear (is it TMI to say that for the first time since Turner was born, i now have underwear that fits me?) The circumstances of my being in America are pretty crummy, but it sure is nice to be outside of mainland china for a while.... And it really makes me look forward to this summer when i can be here with my husband and girls. America, I love you (even if you do conspire to make me fat.)

Nervous Anticipation

2011-02-02T19:33:16+08:00

I'm nervous. Not "filled with anxiety" nervous... just nervous anticipation over the future. I'm okay with not knowing where we will be living next year or what we'll be doing. I know that we'll be okay. But I know in the next few weeks we'll have to make some decisions about our future... hopefully, some decisions will be made for us.... but we're in a waiting period to hear about that.

At the end of this month we'll be moving into a one-bedroom apartment back on campus. Last time I lived on campus, I had a two year old and a newborn, I wasn't working yet, and I was filled with loneliness and post-partum depression. This experience has seriously clouded my feelings toward moving back on campus. In reality, it will be a good experience for us. We'll have the opportunity to save a whole lot of cash, but beyond that, I'll actually be next door to a friend of mine who has a baby the same age as Turner, I'll be downstairs from another friend, and I'll have the opportunity to experience a little more simplicity in living and a more ascetic lifestyle. I do not say that tongue-in-cheek at all.

A few nights ago I saw the cave where St. Antony the Great lived in Egypt. He was a very rich man who passed by the temple one day and heard the words of the Gospel read: "If you want to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasures in heaven; and come, follow Me."

St. Antony took these words literally, sold everything, and wandered into the desert. He walked for three days until he came to a mountain with a source of water at the foot and a natural cave - really just a hole in the rock - up the mountain. He lived there and became one of the first ascetic monks to live completely cut off from civilization. A monastery was established at the foot of the mountain, and other monks would bring him one loaf of bread a week to live on. He lived the rest of his life that way, and died at 105 yrs old.

Please, please, do not think I am comparing moving my family into a small apartment to St. Antony's life in a desert cave of Egypt. Of course I'm not! But St. Antony and the other desert fathers have so much to teach me... and I do hope that one day I will learn a little more about living with less. Not one loaf of bread a week less, but less. Certainly his life can teach me about quieting my soul and waiting upon the Lord. My soul is a noisy chatterbox. I imagine it would be a noisy chatterbox even if I lived in a cave. But I don't live in a cave, do I? I live in my very real, very loud world. A world that pulls at me from all corners. A world of needy babies and kids, a world of "gimme gimme gimme, buy me, buy me, buy me," a world of teaching and grading papers and taking online classes.

How do I quiet my soul and calm my nervousness in the real world?

Altar in St Antony's Cave
A simple altar in Saint Antony's Cave supports an icon of Antony, a wooden cross and a collection of offerings left by visitors.

Saint Athanasius, who knew Anthony and wrote his biography, said, "Anthony was not known for his writings nor for his worldly wisdom, nor for any art, but simply for his reverence toward God."

Why 7:30 Felt So Early This Morning

2011-01-28T07:34:09+08:00

1. I didn't go to bed until almost 1 am. I am staying up late with hubby, but forgetting that most days I have to get up with the baby.

2. I haven't had any naps lately. And that's just sad.

3. Chicken Tough as Nails (aka the baby) was up at 3 am for an early morning re-fuel.

4. Chicken Little came in to snuggle at some point in the wee hours, waking me up briefly.

5. 7:30 was really more like 6:51 for the official wake-up, but 7:22 for computer time. Rounding up makes me feel better. Hmmm, scratch that. Only more sleep would make me feel better.

Orthodoxy and Football

2011-01-26T20:55:34+08:00

Orthodoxy and Football

Dear Team members,

Since we have just begun a new year, I thought that I would send you a note. Last year, we had some defeats and some victories, but all in all, I feel pretty good about it. However, there are some areas that have been brought to my attention that we need to discuss.

Practice

During the last season, some of you began to miss practice on a regular basis. I thought that perhaps there was some scheduling conflict, so I offered more practice opportunities hoping that this would help. Unfortunately, this didn't work. Attendance at practice has become so dismal that now there are only 3 or 4 who come faithfully. I admire them, because they practice hard, and it shows. However, I don't think that these faithful few can carry the whole team. I am told that attendance at practice is so low because you feel the practices are too long. Well out of an entire week, we only wanted 5 hours of your time. Then, it seems that practice conflicts with your other activities. Some of the team are now dating, or have joined clubs, or have family concerns, or need to relax and watch tv, have a new hobby, or whatever. Therefore, I am letting everyone know that they are no longer required to attend practice. I hope that this makes everyone feel a little better. Sadly, during the year, some promising new prospects dropped by. They heard that we were the team to beat and had the best record. Yet when they saw almost no one at practice, they soon became discouraged and left. My major concern is that the opposing team practices all the time. They are a tough squad and know how to play.

Playbook

I know that all of you have a playbook, but it seems to me that few of you are reading it. How do I know? Well, when you do come to practice, you seem a bit confused. You act as if you don't understand the plays or the signals. It seems that everytime we try to run a play, many of you are offside, or simply standing with a blank look on your face. Please read your playbook and study it. Some say that it is too hard to read, and that you don't have time. Are you sure you want to be on the team? How can we run a play successfully if we don't all think alike and understand the calls? Our opposition studies hard, and they know exactly what their quarterback wants them to do. They even know some of our plays. No confusion there!

Uniform

Many of you are telling me that you don't like to wear our uniform. Its too old fashioned. It seems that it restricts your freedom, and you find it too bulky. You would rather play without one. These outfits have protected our players for years, and there have been few injuries, but if you don't want to wear them, then be my quest. Of course, the other team is fully geared with helmets, pads, etc. I don't think any of them plan to get hurt, even though they do plan to hit hard.

Training table

In the past, we have recommended that you follow a careful regimen concerning food. We asked that all players eat at the training table, so that we could help you attain your goals of strength and fitness. Some foods cause you to be lethargic, while other foods give you energy. Large amounts of any kind of food will make it difficult to concentrate while playing the game. Many say the regimen is too hard, and that the food is plain and boring. And so, everyone feel free to eat what you want, as much as you want, and anytime you want. Of course, I have noticed that many of you are now gaining weight and find playing more difficult. Make no mistake, the opposition is lean and muscular, fit and disciplined. They can run for hours without becoming the least bit winded or fatigued. We used to be like that, but now most of us find it difficult to run even ten yards without panting.

Exercise

We had a schedule of recommended exercises, but some players tell us that they don't want to do them. They take too much time, make you sweat, and make sore muscles. You even tell me that if there is not time to do them all, you feel that it is better not to do any. Therefore, we are dropping the exercise requirements. I suppose I don't need to tell you how much the other team is working out, lifting weights, etc.

Conclusion

It has always been our intention to help you have a successful and victorious season. However, I hope that these concessions will make all of you feel better about being on the team.

The game is about to begin. The stadium is filling with spectators, many of whom are former players and all stars. I am sure that they will cheer us on. I will do what I can as your coach. Yet, with no practice, no playbook, no uniform, no exercise, and no training table, I don't know how we will beat the opposition. Frankly, I think we are going to get creamed this year.

Signed,

The Coach and his staff

via www.allsaintsofamerica.org

Said in Desperation

2011-01-26T09:27:18+08:00

I'm NOT a morning person. Unfortunately, since becoming a mother, I'm not a night person either. In fact, I'm not even that great in the afternoon. I'd say I have a few good hours between 11 am and 2 pm and then maybe a second wind between 4 and 9 pm (if I had a nap that day!) I say all this to explain why I said what I said to my husband yesterday. It was in a fit of desperation for more sleep. I was, in fact, half asleep anyway when I uttered the words... And I'm just a tad worried he's going to hold me to it.... I said.... Desperately, mind you.... That if he would take the baby and let me sleep in, "I'll let you sleep in every other morning, forever." Forever? Did I really say that? I only have a vague memory of making the promise...forever? Really? Well, there you have it.... If you want to get me to do something for you.... Just talk to me about it when I'm half asleep! The immediate promise of more sleep is just too tempting for me to turn down!

What Does Orthodox Mean?: The Doctrine, Worship and Values of the Church | Antiochian Orthodox Christian Archdiocese

2011-01-22T23:26:53+08:00

by Frederica Mathewes-Green

The word “orthodox” means “right belief” or “right praise.”

The “Orthodox Church” is also known as the “Eastern Orthodox Church.”

Orthodox Doctrine

In the years after Jesus’ Resurrection, apostles and missionaries traveled throughout the known world spreading the Gospel. Soon five major locations were established as centers for the faith: Jerusalem, Antioch, Rome, Alexandria, and Constantinople. In the year 1054 the Roman church broke from this united Church, and five hundred years later Protestant churches began breaking away from Rome. But the original Church has remained united in the Apostolic Faith since the first century. This is Orthodoxy.

One of the tasks of the early Church was defining, and defending, orthodox theology against the battering waves of heresies. These heresies often appeared in disputes over the nature of the Trinity, or how Jesus could be both God and Man. Church Councils were called to search the Scriptures and put into words the common faith, forming a bedrock of certainty that could stand for all ages. From this time, the Church has been called “Orthodox,” which means “right belief” or “right praise.” The Nicene Creed (see reverse) originated at the Council of Nicea in A.D. 325, and is the central Orthodox statement of faith, a preeminent example of the work of the Councils. Built on the foundation of Christ and His Apostles, nothing has been added to our faith, and nothing can be added. It is complete.

Orthodox Worship

Orthodox churches still use forms of worship that were practiced in the first centuries. Our worship is based to a great extent on passages from Scripture. We sing most of the service, joining our voices in simple harmony to ancient melodies.

Our worship is focused on God, not on our own enjoyment, fulfillment, or fellowship. We come into the presence of God with awe, aware of our fallenness and His great mercy. We seek forgiveness and rejoice in the great gift of salvation so freely given. Orthodox worship is filled with repentance, gratitude, and unending praise.

We try, as best we can, to make our worship beautiful. The example of Scripture shows us that God’s design for tabernacle worship (Exodus 25, 26) included gold, silver, precious stones, blue and purple cloth, embroidery, incense, bells, and anointing oil. Likewise, in Saint John’s vision of heavenly worship (Revelation 4) there are precious stones, gold, thrones, crowns, white robes, crystal, and incense. From the beginning to the end of Scripture, worship is offered with as much beauty as possible. While a new mission’s finances may call for simple appointments, our hearts come to worship seeking to pour out at the feet of Christ all the precious ointment we possess.

A common misconception is that awe-filled, beautiful worship must be rigid, formal, and cold. Orthodox worship shatters that stereotype. The liturgy is not a performance, but an opportunity to come together as a family of faith before our beloved Father. True Orthodox worship is comfortable, warm, and joyful. It could be nothing less in His heavenly presence.

Orthodox Values

Values that are usually termed “Judeo-Christian” have never left Orthodoxy. We believe that sexual expression is a treasured gift, one to be exercised only within marriage. Persons with homosexual or other extramarital sexual impulses are welcomed as fellow servants of God, receiving loving support as they make an offering to God of their chastity. Marriage is a commitment for life. Divorce is a very grave action, and remarriage after divorce a concession to human weakness, undertaken with repentance.

Orthodoxy has stood against abortion since the earliest days of the church. The Didache (circa A.D. 110) states, “Do not murder a child by abortion or kill a newborn infant.” In the midst of a culture which freely practiced abortion, i

via www.antiochian.org

Spaghetti thoughts

2011-01-22T16:25:43+08:00

I made spaghetti today. This is only significant in that every time I make spaghetti, I think about the very first meal I ever made when I first moved overseas 8 years ago. I had just arrived in Turkey, and a friend had taken us grocery shopping before they left for the airport heading to America. Grocery shopping itself was overwhelming, but that night, when it was just Josh and myself, looking at what I had just purchased and hoping I could make something out of it, was beyond overwhelming. I had bought something called, in Turkish, "domates salçası" which turned out to be tomato paste, and my attempt to make spaghetti sauce out of it failed - miserably. I cried that night.

The story has a happy ending, however. It was after a good cry that I determined to figure out how to "do life" overseas... and not just survive, but thrive doing so.

Now, I'm no Martha Stewart and I'm certainly not an expert - at anything... but I have learned a thing or two... like how to make your own bisquick, how to make homemade vanilla, how to make homemade playdough, how to make "cake mixes" from scratch when called for in a recipe, and how to substitute for almost anything (although I recently made a man squirm in his seat when I offered to substitute mayonnaise in a recipe for an egg. He turned a little green on me.)

Some other things I've learned living overseas: babies don't need much (but some things are certainly nice conveniences to have!), kids take their cues from their parents attitude about where they are living, and maids are extremely affordable in many countries outside America. :)

Now that I'm on the cusp of another overseas move (possibly back to America, possibly to who-knows-where) I'm reflecting on these past 8 years overseas and so very, very thankful for all that I've been able to see and experience, the friendships I've made, the things I've learned, the technology that has developed to be able to stay in contact with friends and family back home, and all the spaghetti dinners - the successes and disasters alike!

Me and my dear friend Meral at her wedding... almost 10 years ago...
(a photo not relevant at all to the story, but I unfortunately I didn't take a pic of that first spaghetti supper... so... here's a pic from the early days living overseas....)

sticky tack and banana splits

2010-12-12T20:06:53+08:00

This morning -

Momma: Don't play with the sticky tack.

Ava Raye (fingering the sticky tack): I'm not playing with it.

Momma (hugging Ava Raye): Wanna go back to playing with your dinosaurs?

Ava Raye (writhing away from Momma): No, I wanna go back to not playing with the sticky tack.

Later today we took the kids to Dairy Queen where they shared their first ever Banana Split. Here are some photos: