If you’ve never been to a demolition derby, I highly recommend going to one. Just remember though that they are generally pretty loud, they can smell bad from all of the exhaust and burning auto fluids, and dirt flies everywhere.

These pics are from last Saturday when we went to the derby at the Golden Spike Arena in Ogden. I have to say that it was probably the most amazing demolition derby I have ever seen. It was also the most violent. Seeing a car nearly enter the stands is enough to make my sensible side very nervous. Of course the redneck in me was cheering wildly and taking pictures. I’m pretty sure my inner-redneck won the evening.

Before you read any further, I should probably remind you that this is Jeremiah writing, not Holly. Therefore, you’re going to get my perspective on the whole thing. Mine is a perspective of somebody with a somewhat twisted sense of humor who watched most of this from a distance. I didn’t get dirty, so to speak, but I did get regular updates during the process while I was at work. If you want Holly’s perspective, you should probably ask her because I’m sure it will be slightly different than mine.

For a long time, Holly and I had discussed potty training Lincoln; however, he would have none of that madness. The very idea that we would have him sit on the toilet to do his business was abhorrent to him and any suggestion that he do so would be met with extremely loud protests. Then one day, he ate something that caused some problems with his plumbing. (I think it was buffalo chicken meatballs. So spicy!) As a result, he had some issues with diapers exploding not once, but multiple times in the same day. When I say exploding, that’s exactly what I mean. It’s no joke when they say they hold up to 27 pounds. Anyways, during one of these explosions, Lincoln felt his back and quickly discovered that it, and now his hand, were covered in poo. Like any self-respecting toddler, he freaked out and demanded that he be cleaned up immediately. It was then that Holly and I both realized that he was finally ready to move out of the wet warmth of diapers and into the cold, cotton world of underpants.

I should probably mention that at some point leading up to this process, Holly had been discussing potty training with one of the neighbors who had just successfully moved her son out of diapers. What worked for her was bribery. She took her son to the toy store and let him get whatever he wanted. The catch was that he couldn’t have it until he was potty trained. (I’ve gone through this process with three other children and never realized that they could be bought only slightly easier than a politician.)

With this in mind, after Lincoln’s Day of Exploding Shorts, Holly took him to the toy store where he picked out his toy: a Pizza Planet playset from Toy Story. She also went and loaded up on plenty of liquid, a few candies, and some stickers that he could put on a chart to track his progress. The deal was that when he earned so many stickers, he could have the toy.

To make a long story short, it took a few weeks, but Lincoln earned his stickers, filled out his chart, and succeeded in getting his toy. While he still needs to occasionally be reminded to take a break so he can use the toilet, more often than not he remembers on his own. As for me and Holly, we’re just glad that we don’t need to change, or buy, any more diapers.

Let’s start with Lincoln…

It’s amazing what a difference a year will make. As with the other kids, we’ve managed to navigate the “terrible twos” quite nicely. Lincoln has developed quite the vocabulary and will not hesitate to let you know exactly what he is thinking. Sometimes it’s easier for him to just say “Come here.” but that’s understandable because “Come here. I want you to turn on the television so that I can watch Jake and the Neverland Pirates.” is a quite a mouthful. I can’t say that I blame him…. He is a very sweet kid though. If he even thinks that you are cold, he’ll bring you a blanket and insist that you cover up. On the plus side, this has helped save energy this winter as we don’t need to keep the house as warm. Lincoln has also discovered video games. Some of his happiest moments are spent playing anything on Emma’s Nintendo DS or Plants vs. Zombies or Minecraft on Holly’s PC. The kid loves his video games and I find it funny that he says the same things to me that I said to my mom so many years ago. “Just a sec. I’m killing zombies.” Maybe he’ll eventually become a professional gamer and be able to support Holly and me in our old age.

Hannah is now in the second grade and has developed quite a love of singing. One of the things that she was most looking forward to as the school year began was joining the choir. She’s had the opportunity to sing not only at the school in front of students and parents, but she also got to perform at a local bookstore for the Christmas shoppers. I was in high school before I had an opportunity like this. And the best part? She’s actually a good singer. I enjoy listening to her sing while she does her chores. It’s like I have my own little Disney princess. And with all of the dogs, it’s almost like we have forest animals joining her, a la any Disney princess movie. She is doing very well in school and loves to read. She also still possesses the ability to make people smile just by walking into a room. It’s probably something with that smile of hers.

Alex, being a year older than Hannah, is in the third grade. In addition to getting baptized this year, he also started Cub Scouts which he absolutely loves. In fact, he loves going to his weekly den meetings so much that he reminds us of them even on the weeks where there is no den meeting. He also started piano lessons earlier this year. At his first recital, I was impressed with how talented he is when it comes to music. (Note: I’m pretty sure that all of the kids get this talent from Holly. I was in the band growing up, but I was never very good. All of our kids are amazing with music.)  Like his younger brother, Alex loves video games. Whenever he has a chance, he’s usually building amazing worlds in Minecraft or rocking out on Lego Rock Band. (Again, music.) And speaking of Lego, Alex has finally discovered the joys of Lego. I was (am?) a Lego kid so I love seeing his creations and the excitement in his eyes as he shows me his newest building, ship, etc. And how could I forget tether-ball?  I’m pretty sure that this is his one true love. Most kids ask for a basketball hoop; Alex asks for a tether-ball pole. He’s actually so good that he’s complained that nobody wants to play with him because he always wins.

And finally, Emma…

Emma has left the structure and uniforms of the charter elementary school for the dog-eat-dog world of junior high. Not surprisingly, she adapted extremely well. She loves going to school and has made many new friends. Also not surprisingly, she seems to be quite popular. I’ve been told by some of the young women in the ward that they love how Emma is just herself and doesn’t care what people think. I’m sure that this has made junior high much, much easier for her but she is quite awesome and junior high always seemed easier for the awesome kids. At least from my perspective. (I didn’t become awesome until later.) She decided at the last minute that she wanted to play the clarinet in the band and really enjoys her history and CTE classes.

Holly is still working as a diabetic home care nurse. She loves her job and her patients that she gets to see everyday. She also loves the time that it gives her to be with her family, which is a lot. Earlier this year she was able to go on a cruise with her parents to Mexico and enjoyed the time she was able to spend with them and her sister.  She was also asked to serve in the Relief Society presidency this year and has enjoyed serving in that calling.

As for me, I am loving my job managing beta tests at Centercode. The flexibility that it offers are worth more than a paycheck, especially since I am able to work from home at least once a week. I have also spent quite a bit of time this year working on the Stolen Droids podcast. What started as a bunch of guys just having fun has grown larger than we ever expected. We were even nominated for an award and will be attending the Podcast Awards next month in Las Vegas! It has given me to opportunity to interview several people like New York Times best selling author, Larry Correa and musician and Internet superstar, Jonathan Coulton.

In addition to our family trip to Yellowstone, we also had the opportunity to travel to California as a family to see Weird Al Yankovic at one of his book signing events. This fulfilled one of my life-long dreams as I was able to meet the man who composed the soundtrack to my life. He was very, very nice and the entire family enjoyed meeting him.

While we were in California, we had some extra time that we decided fill by taking the kids to the beach and Disneyland. It was fast trip that was planned with no notice but it was well worth it and the memories will last forever.

We also had a great summer together as a family going to water parks, the zoo, going on bike rides, visiting Yellowstone National Park, and camping.

All in all, 2012 was a very good year for the Zohner family. We had a lot of fun times and are all anxious to see what 2013 holds in store.

Since I’ve never seen a bear in any of my previous trips into Yellowstone, I didn’t really expect to see any this time so we made a preemptive stop at Yellowstone Bear World outside of Rexburg, ID.  They have over 45 bears, among a lot of other animals.  They also offer the opportunity to feed bear cubs with a bottle for $35.  DON’T DO IT!  They make you hold the bottle behind an electrified fence while the cub sucks from the nipple on the other side.  Such a waste of money…

Anyways, here are some of the pictures that we took over the course of three days.

This nation will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave.
~ Elmer Davis

Holly has always wanted to get a pedicure so on Saturday, she decided that she would cross this off of her list and spend a few hours getting pampered.  In her infinite wisdom, she though that it would be a good idea to take Emma and Hannah with her.  After a few hours, I received a call from Emma saying that it was the best day ever.  They got their toes done, went to the mall to buy scented lotions, and then went out for ice cream.  According to her, it was the best day ever!  And Hannah, being the girly girl that she is, couldn’t wait to show me the glitter on her toes.  And honestly, I can’t think of many things that they could have all done together that they would have enjoyed more than getting pedicures.

Ironically, Holly didn’t get a pedicure for herself because she decided that she should wait until just before she goes on a Mexican cruise with her parents in a few weeks.  Something about having nice toes that match her new sandals…