The Zohner Family Blog

Avoiding Swine Flu

Jeremiah — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 14:00:49 +0000

Well, the whole family is finally recovered from the swine flu. When all was said and done, it had run rampant through our home for nigh on two weeks leaving a trail of destruction in its wake. In addition to taking down Alex and Emma, both Hannah and Holly got hit pretty hard too. Thankfully everything is now back to normal and everyone survived.

I was fortunate in that I managed to avoid becoming ill. I’ve since been exposed to the swine flu virus again at work (allegedly) and still feel fine. Either my immune system is freaking amazing or I’m doing something right because I’ve had multiple encounters with swine flu and come out on top every single time. Since I seem to be so lucky, I thought I’d share what has worked for me so that it can hopefully help you, my faithful reader, stay healthy.

I wash my hands a lot. I also use soap which I’m told is helpful. I’m told this is also good for stopping the spread of other diseases especially before preparing food or going to the bathroom. When I’m not washing my hands, I’m using Purell.
I have added elderberry extract to my daily dose of vitamins. Sure, kids at school can tell my kids that their father smells of elderberries but I’m OK with that. I read that elderberry actually works better than Tamiflu, and I can say from experience that it does. When Alex was on Tamiflu, he went insane. Literally. Even after he was off the drug, the effects lingered for days. It was pretty scary. There were no side effects from the elderberry and everyone seemed to get better faster than Alex did.
Don’t make out with pigs. I can’t stress this enough. It’s just wrong. Don’t do it.
Eat the pigs that you are refraining from making out with. If we eat all of the pigs, there will be no more swine to propagate this “swine flu” outbreak that we are currently experiencing. Plus, everything is better with bacon. I know that I originally suspected that the reason that Emma had contracted swine flu is because of her love of all things pig. I have since decided that we must increase our pork intake in order to be able to absorb the pig antibodies which will allow us to fend off their attacks on our immune systems. For example, yesterday I ate a pulled pork sandwich. It was delicious and gave me the power of pig. Of course, the downside to eating all of the pigs means that there will be no more pigs to eat. Such a conundrum…

Hopefully these few words of advice will help keep you and your family health and swine flu free. If you have any other suggestions as to how to avoid contracting swine flu, please feel free to share them. I’d love to hear what everyone else is doing to keep from dying during this epidemic.

For The Husbands

Jeremiah — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 14:00:40 +0000

I only have a moment but I wanted to post this very funny video. It is a song comprised of things to not say to your wife. If you have ever said any of these, I’d love to hear about it.

Oink

Jeremiah — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 15:03:25 +0000

I hate being sick. Fortunately for me, I’m not. Yet. I stress the word yet because it’s bound to happen.

Over the weekend, Alex started feeling ill. It started with a cough on Saturday afternoon. By Saturday night, he was so tired that he fell asleep while watching Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. Him falling asleep while watching movies isn’t unusual but it was still pretty early in the evening.

Yesterday he woke up with a horrible cough and no voice. Combine this with a fever of 104 and we knew he was a sick little boy. We did what we could to cool him down and make him comfortable but he was one sick kid. When bedtime rolled around, Holly decided that he probably needed to be looked at by a doctor so she took him to the after-hours clinic. They tested him and confirmed what we had suspected: swine flu was upon us. The doctor wrote out a prescription for TAMIFLU which will allegedly help shorten the duration that the microscopic pigs are running rampant

We have officially confirmed that Alex has swine flu , or H1N1 if you’re trying to be politically correct and not offend pigs. (I couldn’t give a crap about that so it shall be known on this blog as swine flu.) It also appears that Emma has been beaten by the pigs. It’s probably because of her deep, deep love for all things bacon. Her symptoms started yesterday and even though she’s not as sick as Alex, she’s still not feeling too well. Both kids will be out of school for at least a week. Hopefully they aren’t sick for the entire time.

As for the rest of us, Holly and I are feeling well. It appears that our immune systems can fend off pork, at least for the time being. Hannah is questionable right now. She seems to be starting to exhibiting swine flu symptoms but as of last night, she was still feeling OK.

Back In The Workforce

Jeremiah — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 15:17:32 +0000

In my last post, I eluded to the fact that I have gone back to work. When I was laid off from Centercode, my boss told me that he hoped that finances would allow them to hire me back before I found a new job. I told him that I had six months worth of unemployment so the company had six months to get me hired back on. He told me that it was more likely that I’d find a new job before he could bring me back which is exactly what happened.

A few weeks ago, one of our neighbors posted a message on her Facebook page saying that if anybody knew of someone looking for a tech support job to let her know because her husband’s employer was hiring. I took my resume over to him that night and the next morning I had an email saying that the company wanted to do a phone interview with me as soon as possible.

I apparently did pretty well in the phone interview because a face-to-face follow-up interview was scheduled for the next day. I was at my dad’s house at the time helping him with some computer related stuff. This fact came out as I was discussing the next interview with the hiring manager. Once he realized that I wasn’t far from their office, he asked me if I could come in that afternoon. I wasn’t dressed for an interview, unless you count a Nintendo hat and ratty Levi shorts appropriate interview attire, and told him as much. He said that since it was short notice that he wouldn’t hold my choice of clothing against me.

My face-to-face interview went well and I was told to keep the next few days open so that I could come back and meet with one of the vice presidents and somebody from HR. This set of interviews actually came a couple days later. Before I met with the others, I spent some more time visiting with the hiring manager. He was very good at answering my questions and we seemed to get along very well. He even told me that unless I said or did something stupid in the following round of interviews, the job was pretty much mine to lose. I appreciated him being so straight forward with me. This is something that I think is lacking in a lot of business environments.

Despite all odds, I managed to not say or do anything stupid in the next two interviews and was offered a position the following day. I am now a proud member of the MasterControl tech support team. For those who are not familiar with MasterControl, they are a software company that enables government regulated companies to get their products to market faster. (Don’t feel bad if you have never heard of them, I hadn’t either until I started working here.)

The one downside about my new job is the commute. The office is located near the mouth of Big Cottonwood Canyon which is about an hour from home. Fortunately I can take Legacy Highway and then jump on I-215 so it’s a pretty straight shot without a lot of traffic. Unfortunately though, I don’t get to ride a light cycle to work. It’s probably for the best.

I honestly can’t believe how quickly I was hired and what a good opportunity this is for me and the family. I’m really excited for all of the things that I’m going to be able to learn and for the new experiences that I’m having. The learning curve is extremely long and steep so I’m hoping that I can pick up on things relatively quickly because I hate feeling like an idiot.

Clean And Organized

Jeremiah — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 16:19:56 +0000

When we found out that I would be getting laid off from Centercode, Holly was actually somewhat excited because it meant that I would have time to get things done around the house. In addition to finishing organizing the garage and shed, Holly had plans for painting and organizing Alex’s bedroom and getting all of the baby stuff set up in there.

I decided to start with the garage since it had been on my list of stuff to do for the longest amount of time. I knew that it was in bad shape but I had no idea that it would take me a week to get looking how I envisioned. I started by moving everything in the garage that belonged in the shed out. This meant that in addition to organizing the garage, I had to also organize the mostly empty shed. This wasn’t too big of a deal but it did take some time.

Next came installing the cabinets that have been sitting in the garage for the past six months. I created a workbench area with them and hung my tools on a peg board. It’s really nice to be able to find my stuff again.

While I was installing the cabinets, Holly and Hannah went to work organizing our food storage on some shelves. They also went through a few loose items and decided what should stay and what should be disposed of.

Once the garage was mostly clean, with the exception of a few odd boxes, it was back to Home Depot where we got shelving material for the walls. I then spent the next day hanging brackets and boards on the walls and filling them with the stuff that was still on the floor. It took nearly a week but the garage looks nice now. I’m very proud of our hard work.

A few days later, it was time to work on Alex’s room. We chose a paint color called “English Meadow” because Holly heard from some paint commercial that green was a calming color. (We all know that he could use a bit of calming…) Surprisingly, the room was completely done in two days. It looks really nice although it feels a bit crowded to me with all of the baby furniture in the room too.

When we found out that I would be going back to work (more on that later), Holly had the idea that we should spend my last few days of unemployment working on our bedroom. Holly started by suggesting that we just rearrange the furniture but our whole layout is designed around the cable jack and we couldn’t move the TV so we couldn’t move anything else. Holly told me that if I would be willing to move things, she’d let me get a new TV that we could mount on the wall. Again, there’s the whole “the cable jack is on the other side of the room thing” but I looked at the situation and determined that it would be easy enough to run a cable through the attic and punch it out of the wall behind where the TV would be hung so I consented.

As Holly started getting things ready to be rearranged, she commented on how dusty everything was behind all of the furniture and decided that in addition to moving things around, we also needed to clean. It wasn’t long before this “cleaning” involved taking everything out of the room and painting. This all happened four days before I started my new job.

Holly and I have been married for nearly 12 years and we’ve never really painted our room any color other than white. We checked out paint samples and decided to go with “Desert Camel”, a nice color that resembles what a camel might look like after a nice bath. We also picked up everything that we would need to mount a TV on the wall, including a 26″ Vizio.

That afternoon, I spent three hours trying to pull cable through the attic so that we could have a signal going to the new TV. I ended up having to punch a big hole in the wall in order to get the cable into the attic which I was not happy about. This meant that I would have to patch drywall which would slow down painting the room. It was a much bigger job than either Holly or I had anticipated but we got it done. I hope that I never have to work up in the attic for that amount of time again.

The following day we were able to start painting. Holly had to work that night so I took it upon myself to complete our room faster than we had Alex’s. I was up until 4:00 AM painting but I succeeded. The next day was spent putting the furniture back into the bedroom. It was nice to only be displaced for a little more than a day.

One thing that I didn’t get painted is our bathroom. There is no door separating the bathroom from the bedroom so it really needed to be done too. Fortunately for me, Holly took this upon herself and started working on it this week.

Now that the bedrooms are all painted, and the downstairs is painted, we just have the rest of the house. That’s going to be a very big job that I’m not looking forward to doing anytime soon. We do want it done before the baby comes though so I’m sure I’ll be spending a good part of December painting since the school semester will be over.

We’re Still Alive

Jeremiah — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 15:19:09 +0000

A lot has happened since I was laid off. Fortunately, everyone is doing well. I just haven’t had a chance to post anything despite having a backlog of things to post. Until I am able to get a few free moments to sit down and write some updates, enjoy this very funny video for a disturbing eyelash product.

A New Bike!

Jeremiah — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 03:22:41 +0000

Unemployment has kept me busy. So far I’ve cleaned out the garage, installed cabinets in said garage, organized the shed, and painted Alex’s bedroom. Of course, Holly helped when she could so it’s not like I was working alone but it was still a lot of work.

One of my biggest pet peeves with our garage is the number of bikes that it stores. I think that Emma has two, Alex had two, and Hannah has one. Plus there is a tricycle, a big wheel, a Little Tikes car, and two scooters that enjoy taking up space. It frustrates me to no end to see bikes, scooters, etc. spread all over the floor waiting to trip me.

You may have noticed that I mentioned that Alex had two bikes. As I was cleaning out the garage, Holly and I decided that the one he likes to ride is too girly and the one that’s not girly is too small. We agreed that they should both go to the DI and that Alex would have the opportunity to earn a new bike. At first he wasn’t too sure about losing both of his bikes, but then he realized that he was going to get a new bike so everything was good.

As an act of good faith on Holly’s part, she took Alex to pick out a new bike the day after getting rid of the old bikes. She also discussed what would be required of him before we would go and actually buy the bike that he wanted. Within a few days, Alex had fulfilled his end of the bargain and became the proud owner of a brand new bike.

Alex loves his new bike. He was so excited to ride it that the next day he woke up at the crack of dawn to go for a ride. Since then, every free moment that he has had, he has wanted to spend it on his bike. I’m glad that he’s enjoying it so much.

Stupid Math…

Jeremiah — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 19:00:50 +0000

As many of you know, I have been working as a beta test coordinator for a company called Centercode, Inc. for the past two years. As the saying goes, all good things must come to an end. Unfortunately, my job was not immune from this English proverb and I was laid off last week. I take comfort in knowing that I wasn’t the only one who lost their job that day but it’s never fun to leave a job that you love going to everyday.

A few days before I received the official word that the company was making cutbacks, my boss pulled me aside and explained the situation to me. Basically, what it came down to is Centercode makes X amount of money per contract and has Y amount of expenses. Because of the situation that we find our economy in, X was no longer enough to cover Y. As pretty much everyone knows, unless you’re a politician, spending more money than you bring in isn’t a good way of doing business. It’s basic math that, unfortunately, led to my termination.

After hearing the explanation for the cutbacks, I realized that Math has once again sucker punched me. For years in school, Math did everything it could to keep me from progressing towards graduation. After almost a year and a half though, I won, striking Math to the ground with an awesome score on a placement exam. Math has apparently been lying in wait since then, hoping for the perfect moment to exact its revenge. It executed said revenge extremely well. Touche, Math.

Since I’m currently looking for work that will meet our needs, I have some extra free time on my hands. As a result, I’ve added two extra classes to my school schedule in hopes of getting done that much faster. Now my days are literally filled with the reading of textbooks. Thankfully they’re on topics that I find interesting.

I’ve posted my resume on all of the major job sites and have even had some interest. Unfortunately, most of the interest I’m receiving has come from companies that tell me I can be my own boss or that I can make $50,000 a month just by working from home for a few hours a day. All it will take is a small investment on my part to get the income flowing. (I guess it’s like priming a pump…) If I were interested in working from home or being my own boss, I can think of more imaginative ways to make a living than what these people are peddling. For example, give me a dollar. Just kidding. Asking for money isn’t very creative. Give me ten dollars.

If you know of anybody who is looking for a qualified IT professional that has help desk, on-site, and logistics management experience, please be sure to let me know.

It Begins

Jeremiah — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 14:12:53 +0000

Well, summer has unofficially ended which means that it’s time once again to go back to school. Emma and Alex are both going to the charter school near our home this year which is new for them. Because it’s a charter school, they get to wear uniforms. Surprisingly, this hasn’t really caused any issues. Neither one of them seems to mind looking like everybody else. I expected Emma to make a stink about not being able to wear what she wants but it’s been OK so far. I think the fact that everyone has to wear a uniform makes it a bit easier for her to accept.

When we first received word that Emma had been accepted into the school and would be transferring from Buffalo Point Elementary, Holly and I were excited. Emma, not so much. In fact, she complained every time it was brought up. She was convinced that her new school would be horrible and that she’d have no friends. I’m happy to say that she appears to have changed her tune. She loved her first day and even made some new friends!

Alex starts kindergarten this year. His teacher looks young but I think she’s been teaching for a while. At back to school night both Holly and I were impressed at how she seems to rule her classroom with an iron fist. In fact, the whole school is very discipline oriented which I absolutely love. Alex has been loving going to class; I hope that never changes.

As for me, I started classes yesterday. Before my first class, I ran into some friends from previous semesters. I found out that we had a few classes together but that fact wasn’t good enough for them. They convinced me to change my schedule around and add another class so that we can cause professors stress together. In the space of a few minutes, I went from being a half-time student to a 3/4-time student. I’m glad that I added the extra class because it’ll help me graduate sooner but the extra workload isn’t very welcome.

How many days until Thanksgiving break?

We’re Back From Denver!

Jeremiah — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 00:08:27 +0000

I know that I’m a few days late in posting this but with the first day of school, among other things, we’ve been pretty busy. I was going to write a post for every activity that we managed to squeeze into our vacation but that’s a lot of writing, and since I just posted 162 photos in the gallery, complete with detailed narrative, I’m going to pass for now. The only thing that there are no pictures of is our trip to WaterWorld. (Expensive cameras and water slides don’t really go well together.)

We all had a really good time and we were able to get almost everything in that we wanted to do. The only thing that we didn’t do that I really wanted to is go to a hot dog stand that is shaped like a giant hot dog in Bailey, Colorado. I guess we’ll have to do it next time.

If you don’t know the password to the gallery, let me know and I’ll let you in.