We don’t really fight about money. At least, not a lot. This is because the outcome is obvious and simple. Somebody is earning money and somebody is not.

Sometimes, I cannot tell if he is joking. Or, if he is resentful. Or, both. Maybe I don’t have a sense of humor. The griping about job loss mainly comes from me. In the end, how I’m seeing myself is the crux in our relationship.

It is hard to take unemployment seriously after becoming comfortable with not being employed. I’ve become focused on other things. I cannot stop thinking about how boring my life will be once I actually have a paying job. This fear is not just a paralyzer, it is functioning as self-sabotaging resistance.

I am sure that long-term anything affects a relationship. It reflects within the relationship, too. If unemployment has changed me for the worse, I assume I’ve become less courageous.

Courageousness is part of being a good at anything.

Fear is God’s compass.

My fears? Bankruptcy. Substantial and unexplainable job gap. Getting fat. Not being able to shop at Leifsdottir. Yet, I am more concerned about getting fat than getting a job.I spend money on fashionable pleasantries and liquor.

Is this a screw-up in priorities? No. It is an unhealthy investment in distractions.

The Atlantic talks about how this era’s joblessness will significantly impact urban minorities, white men and the under 30-set. What is the outcome? Overwhelming bitterness. Symptoms will include regret, stagnated earnings and less innovation.

Also, fear thinly disguised as caution.

Why does fear keep coming up?

So, what is my point? If you are reading this post, you want to know how you can fix being a jobless burden. You want to understand what to do when you are in the mother of all down economies and have been job hunting for what seems like eons. You are trying to discover if fear is good or bad for you.

Question: is the life you’re living making you become a lesser version of your true self?

Advice? I wouldn’t be so naive to give you any. I am in this, just like you. And, the only thing that seems to stick is that we are all burdens at some time or another. We’re imperfect creatures. Shit will happen. It will scare us. Move us forward. Go backward.

There are dozens of things that will bombard you with personal branding tactics, job hunting strategies and how to zen the hell out of your life.

All I would say is that you probably already know what you should be doing. Do it imperfectly or not, but do it. That is all you have.

No one needs instructions on how to quit their job. If you need guidance for that, I’m wondering how you managed to become gainfully employed in the first place.

If you want to give 2 weeks notice. Do it. If not. Don’t do it. It really doesn’t matter because in the end, the job will still be there (theoretically) even if you are not.

If you are trying to figure out if you qualify for benefits or if you can still get health insurance: you’ll find this out soon enough when you quit or get fired.

If you want to know ahead of time – ask HR. That’s what they’re there for: to let you know how much or how little a company will give you for anything.

Enough said.

This blog or this post will not provide any guidance on what happens to you after the job. Personal branding and career sites cannot be a panacea for deciding what the hell to do with your career life. Me? I just tell you what I think about workplace bullies, living a creative life and how being unemployed sucks.

But, you don’t have to listen to what the hell I say either. I never said you should.

Life happens before, during and after work. If you are consuming your thoughts with how you’ll live without a job, I think you’ve lost a bit of perspective. And, if you need instruction for things you already know how to do – you’re just avoiding reality.

I am saying this as respectfully as possible.

My lucky swap buddy is the blogger of You & Me & Lucy. She loves Martha Stewart, baking and her name is Michele (Michele is also one of my middle names – how’s that for kindred blogging souls?).

Here’s what I sent to my swap buddy:*

The celebration gift was The Fortune Telling for Brides book that was decorated with French-themed rubber ink stamps (the stamps are from my personal collection).
Why? She’s a bride to be…and she loves anything French

The comfort gift was a set of Kitchen sticky notes that included recipe cards, shopping to-do lists and favorite meal cards
Why? Michele says she loves baking, what better way to organize yourself while aspiring to reach chef nirvana?

The creativity gift was scrapbooking stickers in various blues and greens with various shapes like whales and bunnies – how cute!
Why? My swap buddy mentioned she likes to create scrapbooks, her favorite colors are navy, turquoise, light blue and lime. She’s obsessed with anything nautical and she likes bunnies.

The calming gift was a set of two bathtub teas “flavored” in grapefruit lavender and lavender bergamot
Why? Being a fan of herbal teas, anything fruity or beachy smelling – these would make the perfect morning ritual

Here’s what I received:

Heather of Fumbling for Words sent me chocolate, incense and a book I’m sure I’ll have to blog about. Not to mention, a cute little wooden butterfly – the only insect I can tolerate in my house.

Incense, The War of Art & Chocolate Macaroons on my nightstand

Have you received snail mail love lately? Have you given any? Maybe you should start now…

Curious about where I found my gifts? Try this awesome place.

The butterfly hanging amongst the flowers on my scarf

Chai made from an herbal tea this morning

First things first – here are the rules:

Leave a comment below telling me how (or why) you’d reinvent or reimagine your favorite fiction (or nonfiction) character. That’s all – pretty easy, huh? Winners will be chosen randomly.

Oh, did I say winners? Yes I did. Two lucky folks will receive the following:

1st Prize: The Deluxe Edition of Bill Willingham’s Fables (Vertigo)

Even if you’re not a true comic fan – you’ll have to appreciate Willingham’s reimagination of die hard fairy tales. Read about Prince Charming as a serial philanderer with 3 ex-wives, Little Boy Blue crooning as a soulful jazz musician and Goldilocks as a psychotic, bear-molesting bitch. (Eh, you have to read the book)

And, does anyone notice the rabbit with double pistols on the cover? You have to read a book about a rabbit with pistols. Fables is the winner of 12 Eisner awards and was the 2009 Hugo Award nominee for best graphic story. It’s an over sized hardcover for mature readers . Then again, I’m assuming you are a mature reader if you are reading this blog.

2nd prize: Twitterature (Penguin)

Calling all literature lovers. This humorous book reimagines (and sums up) all your favorite literary classics in the famous 140-character tweets. Aciman and Rensin create a delightful twitstream for reads such as Jane Austen’s Pride & Prejudice to Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight.

How can you not laugh when Shakespeare’s Macbeth (Twitter handle @BigMAC) says,

Shit. ‘C-section is not ‘of woman born’? What kind of king dies on a goddamn technicality?

Winners have until at midnight Saturday (3/13/10) to submit their entries. Have fun (re)imagining and good luck!