And, for some reason – I have no problem with that.

I think I should.

When we argue about whether I should be purchasing Martin & Osa boots with my almost maxed out credit card – I “threaten” to blog about the row. Seriously.

But, I’m not unemployed now and my Martin & Osa boots (on sale, if you please) are sitting in the closet waiting for a crisp, Fall day to arrive.

The weird thing about blogging is that the F is supportive peripherally. He sees it as an idiosyncratic and quirky hobby – akin to collecting Hallmark bears – not a viable pastime. I could say that the F is a blogging Luddite and he “just doesn’t get it.” But, that would be too easy…and way too obvious.

I’m wondering how much of technology, social media and whatever else is intruding upon our lives.

Are we really translating new technologies for better use or just adding unnecessary layers to already complicated communication?

Like talking to your future husband through a blog.

Me...in my 15 minutes

Like who is THAT?

In case you blinked last Monday (like the rest of the world), I was on the cover of the RedEye and in a feature story about Gen Y job hopping.

I’m a little peeved the reporter didn’t plug my blog (since that’s how she found me to do the interview). But, oh well–I’ll remember for next time. You can read the story here. I discuss the upsides to job hopping, essentially explaining that employers don’t care if you job hop if you can produce good results. No one wants a job hopping malcontent.

Oh, did my boss freak? Kind of. But, more on that later.

Update: No, I do not walk the streets of Chicago looking this evil, however, the photog just managed to catch a pic of me looking less than smiley

by Shay Youngblood

Black Girl in Paris.

I don’t need a book to tell me that I should visit France (especially Paris) at least once in my life. However, Youngblood’s book doesn’t make me want to go just now.

But, right now.

One way flight, please.

Share and Enjoy:

Good Lord people – I mean LADIES – please do not be THAT chick who coquettishly dabs her pepperoni, sausage and onion pizza with the napkins on the table.

Pizza by nature is greasy. Yummy. Thick. Mouth watering. And greasy (at least the good ones). So if you don’t want grease – don’t eat that s—t.

Otherwise, for all my non-dabbers – chomp away.

P.S. How is dabbing pizza with a napkin an etiquette breach? Because I say so.

Correcting people’s English (however improper – and when you’re not paid to do it)

Besides embarrassing the poor soul who had the audacity to say the word ain‘t or place a preposition at the end of sentence  or say who instead of whom - can you buzz off?

English is a hard enough language to speak  (and learn). Becoming the self-styled grammar policeman (complete with bloodhound) gives people nightmares. They’ll think  you are the hellish reincarnation of their 7th grade English teacher who rapped students on the knuckles when they said “like” extra grammatically.

Don’t be that douche.

Correcting people’s misuse of certain terms

It’s a comic book, er – no a graphic novel. I call it calculator – you remind me that it’s an adding machine.

Are you for real?

Unless I’m calling a triangle a square- there is no need to correct me as long as you get what I’m saying. You’re not dropping knowledge – you’re dropping douche-ness.

All you cellphone yappers

I’ve been guilty of this myself, but I thought I’d just put this out there. So, here goes:

• No one in the jewelry counter at Macy’s needs to know your pap smear came back abnormal.
• No one on the blue line el needs to know that Bebe and Clive got into a fist fight at Uncle Leon’s barbeque and that’s why your cousin has to raise bail money.
• No one in line at the Dominic’s needs to know that bitch dumped you. And, that’s why you hate her.

Some will respond that folks should just mind their business and tune them out – rising above douche behavior is about the small courtesies you bestow onto others, not the ones bestowed upon you.

Hair fondlers

I don’t know what it is about curly hair, but I’ve had my locks molested by a curious lady or two. And, while I’m sure it’s innocent (maybe, are you checking for weave or if to see if it feels like brillo?) – a straight up grope fest in my hair is not cute.

People do all kinds of things with their hands: pick their nose, scratch their ass, pick up strange animals – I don’t need (or want) that transferred onto my hair.

Thank you. Go fondle Lady Gaga’s wigs.

Side Note: Don’t you know? I’m nuts.

However, if you know your weaknesses – don’t use your wedding planning as a good time to strengthen or experiment in skill building. You’ll become a bridezilla (or groomzilla) in a matter of minutes. I hired a planner because I knew the administrative hassle of researching venues, vendors and god-knows-what-else would cause me to break out in sweats and acne.

Not a good look.

However, I was less than pleased with how things were turning out.  Hence, I craft one of my specialties: the complaint letter. No one likes writing them, but they have to be done (sometimes). Here are some tips I’d like to share with you.

Be emotional –but back it up with facts.

The popular adage, “feelings are not facts” only resonates with a chosen few. If you feel like you’ve been ignored or that things are not going as well you’d like-state why.  A large part of a good relationship is recognizing how you are treated.

And, while it’s severely subjective – that’s the point. Relationships are not one sided, but are subject to the whims, emotions and perspectives of the parties involved. It’s important to keep everyone on the same page about what’s going on.

From the beginning, my planner would take forever to respond to my emails. The first time she called me, she got the time wrong (I accommodated, but still – that’s ridiculous to not check if the time zones match up).

Another time, she said she’d send venue information on a specific date – and then didn’t. I ended up waiting 3 days before I got a response (after sending 2 follow up emails). She responded that she was on vacation and went somewhere “up North” with no internet access.

Side note: WHAT???

Then, as time went by – she’d straight up ignore me.  Calling was out of the question since their office hours were 9 to 5 (and since I work – I’d have gladly set up a time to talk – y’know if she’d email me back). And, to clarify, I don’t have free reign to call people whenever I want to when I am at work – I’m at the mercy of greeting guests, answering phones and y’know –doing my job. I’d send an occasional email to ask for updates: nada, zilch and zero. 

One word: sad.

Remind the organization (or whoever) of why you chose them in the first place

People sometimes forget why a relationship was even started.  You have to remember why you chose to work with whoever you are doing business. Was it money? Reputation? Did you like their shiny website? Did you think you were going to get special treatment? Did they do amazing things in the past? If so, tell them that.

In my complaint, I said that I researched their organization and found quite a few testimonies touting how well they handled destination planning. I even asked for referrals (in which the customer was happy and even let me know a few cons in using them). Basically, I felt like I knew what I was getting.

Too bad I wasn’t even getting that.

I let them know that I didn’t think they were rising to the reputation they claim to have nor did I think they were adhering to the services outlined in our contract.

Get technical – look at your contract (again and again)

Make sure you are getting what you pay for. Outline what you should be getting “per the contract.” Be humble, but don’t be wishy washy.

Let them know you can be flexible and want to resolve the issue

Complaining effectively is about solutions – otherwise, it’s just whining. I told the planner that I’d like to have more contact and responding to my emails within their specified turnaround time would be a great start.  I also told her, if needed, the F and I could start with another planner.

Is that going too far? Not really. If anything, it shows that I’m still willing to work with the company. And, it shows that don’t mind starting  fresh. Sometimes it’s just bad chemistry or misunderstanding. Maybe you just need someone else to work with.

Avoid apologetic language

Providing a mea culpa in a complaint is bad form. If you’re going to complain – be humble, but don’t be “sorry” for complaining.

You’re a client.

You paid money.

You’re invested in the outcome just as much (if not more) than anyone else. Don’t word your complaint to reflect that you don’t “feel” you should be complaining. Or, that you “feel bad” about voicing your concerns.

In other words: own the complaint

If you make a mistake, be gracious and move on

If there was a misunderstanding, a mistake or whatever – be gracious. Let them know you are glad they’ve taken the steps to resolve the issue.

And, be glad you wrote a highly effective complaint letter- but hope it’s the last.