It’s times like these we all need a good dose of The Cat Attack to get our fists of fury banging about the room, before we take a deep breath, chant ‘John Devine’ ten times and prepare for Freo Friday. At least we get a chance to sledge Adam McPhee one more time.

We were going to write a diatribe about the fact Geelong Football Club has more integrity than StKilda, and explain why this will get us over the line. But Paul Chapman with hair is a much better use of our Friday. Brilliant.

All kudos goes to http://paulchapmanwithhair.tumblr.com/.

Carn the catters!

We’ve learned in heart wrenching ways that whilst you can watch Home and Away every week , it doesn’t guarantee a logie. So, as flowers bloom, you can be sure a decent pattern is emerging (aside from Matthew Newton’s pugilistic tendencies): the reliably well-positioned and psychologically prepared Cat Attack.

We are reliably bombarded by news services at this time of year. The game is riddled with all sorts of stakeholders and people armed with in and ill-formed opinions.  Here The Terrace, we are constantly discussing the fine line that separates this divide. The greatest commentators of our game have an ability to see, understand and convey actions and feelings like few others. It buoys us considerably that many, if not the best, in the business barrack for the ‘Greatest team of all’. For a little taste of how and why we love Gerard read on!!

We’re not sure what the atmosphere will be like on Saturday. Probably a bit sweet and sour, much like the Chinese-Australian pork dish. Frank(costa)ly, noone is really sure what Gaz is thinking, and we’re not sure Gary really knows whether he’s coming or going.

In any case we’re still negotiating for a leave pass for the big day, but the chances are slim dusty. Think we’ll just buy the Ablettiser instead. Oh, thanks for the memories, Frank. We’ve loved your work…

Nice one, Tim. The rest, as they say, is history (or our story, if you like)… But let’s not harp on it. Seriously. Here at The Terrace we are enjoying a celebratory frothy whilst soaking in a well of great positivity. On Saturday night we decided to sample the standing room at Etihad. It’s no Gary Ablett Terrace, but it’s a view nonetheless. And when that view allows you to feast on 25 sausage rolls, what more can you say? At $23.75 a ticket, we got one goal per 95 cents. That, ladies and gentlemen, is value for money. Cheaper than the cost of a sausage roll at a 1985 primary school kiosk.

We’re back, Timmy!

Here at The Terrace we’re not sure how we feel about the $36 million federal Liberal Party pledge hullabaloo. I mean, we don’t really care where the money comes from. And what’s a few million when it’s not a billion? A blatant splash of tax-payer cash in a marginal seat that happens to prop-up our chance of long and eternal football (and world) domination is a good thing for the hoops. But, most importantly, does this bucket of blue-blood cash (or the inevitable Labor return volley that will follow) represent the end of The Gary Ablett Terrace as we know it?

Surely that is the real issue here? As far as we can tell, there are no plans in ‘Stage 3′ to preserve our very incongruous but much-loved concrete hill. So, will KP be destined to become another generic football ground surrounded entirely by plastic seats, or will the football Gods (Costa and Cooke) preserve a living concrete treasure for the sake of enjoying football whilst not sitting on our ass? If they don’t, maybe they can afford to put a piece of the hill (think Berlin Wall) in the promised “Geelong Sports Museum”. Please, no. I’m getting panicky and desperate. Hyperventilating now.

OK, let’s think outside the square. If we were to demonstrate that watching football whilst seated leads to an increased chance of obesity, genital warts and hemorrhoids – it probably does – could we somehow then indicate that this ‘evolution’ is an occupational health and safety risk to all and sundry and that standing room must therefore remain? Unlikely. Damn.

Come on, 36 million buckaroonies, but no standing room? None? Someone do something, pleeeeease! Jules? Here at The Terrace, we’re gonna write a letter to the big man (no not Brett Spinks…Brian Cooke)…we’ll  let you know the results.

He played 73 games between ’92 and ’96, kicked 23 goals and, believe it or not, picked up 4 Brownlow votes over the course of three games in the 1992 season. He missed out on the grand final that year, but was part of the ’94 and ’95 grand final sides. Some blame Handles for those losses, but we think that’s a bit rough. I mean, one handle don’t maketh the bar, does it? Ultimately, Handles won’t be remembered for much at KP, but at least the Coodabean’s penned a nice story about him. Handles, we salute you. And your fierce haircut.

Here at The Terrace, we couldn’t agree more with our good friends at the ABC. Nice work, Warren. By the way, did you know Waz’s second name is Gary? That, my good friends, is noteworthy.