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Andre the Giant Gets Brought to Life (Size) in CT

2013-04-18T23:19:06+00:00

Employees at the WWE headquarters in sunny Stamford, Connecticut now have a new life-sized statue of Andre the Giant to greet them in the mornings. Who says going to work has to be boring!

However, sadly, even though the statue itself is life-sized, Andre has been mostly dead all day.

[Zach Linder and Benjamin Brown]

Floyd Mayweather and Larry King Pose for Scariest Threesome Invite Photo Ever

2013-04-12T21:20:27+00:00

Don't get me wrong, clearly this photo of Floyd Mayweather and Larry King just DRIPS S-E-X but all I can think of is it serving as the invitation to a Eyes Wide Shut style sex party. Add to that image one of Larry King just chasing women around with his flaccid penis in his hands and I may never sleep again.

Look at that wry grin on Larry's face. You can't tell me he's not going to be extra grabby...

[Floyd Mayweather]

A Shameless Cubs Doppelganger

2013-04-10T21:56:08+00:00

After earning All-American honors as a wide receiver at Notre Dame, Jeff Samardzija opted for a career path that involved a lot fewer gigantic men looking to hit you with their bodies as hard as possible, choosing instead for men trying to hit your pitches. After a strong beginning to his career as a reliever, Samardzija convinced the Cubs to let him try being a starter and so far has rewarded them for their faith. Taking his turn as the Opening Day starter this year, Samardzija has pitched brilliantly, even if his efforts are wasted on the (currently) hapless Cubs.

Meanwhile, across Chicago, Steve Howey is one of the actors on Showtime's hilarious and highly entertaining Shameless where he plays Kevin Ball, a bartender, occassional weed grower and all around fun-guy. You might also remember him from his role on Reba (but if you do, let's not be friends.)

Let's be clear: these men look a ton alike. Doppelgangers!

I'm Coming BACK!

2013-04-10T21:47:13+00:00

Listen, I know I've been beyond delinquent in updating this site. It's almost inexcusable. However, the good news is that after five years doing this blog I'm not ready to give it up. However, I'm not able to dedicate myself properly again—YET! Expect some intermittent posts for the time being but plan for me to emerge, resurgent and glorious, once again, bringing with me all the inanities of the sports world, all the hot chicks and of course, my irrepressible wit.

In the interim, please accept the next post's new doppelganger as an apology and as a token of my love and appreciation to all of you.

Lip Reading with the NFL is Fun!

2013-01-17T02:39:10+00:00

"I found Fido!"

If this didn't make you laugh you're flat out dead inside.

Patriots Fan Gets the Worst Tattoo Ever

2013-01-17T02:36:40+00:00

I'm not one for adorning my body with tattoos for the sports teams I love but hey, that's what works for some people. However, one New England Patriots fan might want to reconsider his decision to feature this tattoo of Pat the Patriot on his body canvas.

There's bad tattoos and then there are BAD tattoos, this one is HORRENDOUS. First off, it looks like Pat was drawn by an epileptic blind toddler. Secondly, SOMEONE PAID MONEY TO HAVE THIS PUT ON HIS BODY!?!?!

Yikes. Just YIKES.

This doesn't show that you're a fan, this is NOT how you support a championship-caliber team. Bill Belichick is GREATLY disappointed in you.

[BSO]

Live in Barry Bonds Home for a Mere $25M

2013-01-17T02:30:20+00:00

The economic downturn did little to affect the bottom line for the 1%, even those under house arrest. Over his career Barry Bonds made over $180M in salary alone and he's showing himself to be a smart businessman with those funds after his career has ended.

While his trial for evasive testimony resulted in a 30-day house arrest, it wasn't as though Bonds was slumming it in his giant Beverly Hills mansion. Now though that erstwhile prison could be your new digs!

After buying the mansion in 2002 for a mere $8.7M, Barry has relisted the 1.85 acre property which features seven bedrooms and thirteen bathrooms over 17,100 square feet at a robust $25 million.

The home comes with all the essentials for living in exclusion from society including a music room, theater, wine room, gym, spa, elevator, outdoor pizza oven and deep fryer, and a separate guest house for when the warden wants to stop in. Plus the house comes fully furnished which is especially good news if you're into gaudy, ostentatious gold beds.

You can rest your head where Barry used to fart!

[The Agency via WSJ and HardBall Talk]

A Camel Toe Helps You Run Better

2013-01-17T01:00:36+00:00

Like any true sportsman (nod Lance Armstrong) you're out there trying to get an edge on your competition. First it was training with those Vibram five-fingered toe shoes but as comfortable and useful as they are it is impossible to walk around in them and not look a bit odd.

Thankfully, Vibram's former CEO has come up with a solution for us: Camel-toe shoes.

At long last your feet can look like your favorite cooter display!

The shoes from ToPo Athletic range from $100-130 but really, you can't put a price on every step reminding you of a vagina.

[Wired]

He (Doesn't) Shoot, He Scores!

2013-01-17T00:48:56+00:00

After months of being locked out, the NHL is finally almost ready to resume play. For those puckheads who can't wait until Saturday, here is some hot ice action from Mother Russia and the KHL All Star game where Jori Lehtera shows off during the shoot-out contest.

Normally players like to take their best whack at the puck, but the Finnish centerman goes a different route, opting for a less-is-more approach.

A 2008 draft pick of the St. Louis Blues, Lehtera is yet to ply his trade on this side of the Atlantic but with moves like this that may soon change.

Hockey! FUCK YEAH!

Matt Kemp's Newest Tattoo is a Turn Off

2013-01-17T00:38:31+00:00

Say you're Matt Kemp, superstar baseball stud, multi-millionaire, former lover of Rihanna, presumably you don't have too much trouble meeting beautiful women to bath you lovingly with their tongues.

However, that might change after Kemp's newest tattoo.

On the one hand, having a giant portrait of his grandparents (in honor of his recently deceased grandfather) displayed over his heart might be seen as sweet and endearing to some women, and yet, on the other hand, "why is Grams staring at me disapprovingly as I patiently kneel here awaiting for your bukkake explosion?"

Talk about a mood-killer...

Other than the sexual-cooler aspect of the tattoos, I gotta say, the ink work by Jun Cha is pretty impressive.

(One other potential—temporary—turn-off for the ladies: Kemp's half shaved chest. Yum!)

[Vin Scully is my Homeboy]

Larry the Cable Guy is Touring America Looking for Heartburn Inducing Foods

2012-12-11T02:42:11+00:00

In our constant quest to let you know what Larry the Cable Guy is up to, it is an honor to let you all know that he has been touring the country looking for the wildest flavors in America. That journey has taken him to check out the scene at NASCAR races.

Unluckily, Larry also suffers from frequent heartburn and so he has brought Prilosec OTC Wildberry with him as he samples the fiery foods found trackside.

Because Larry the Cable Guy is on your side, he wants to help you get to some of the hottest sporting events. From now until January 7, 2013, enter at WildberryFlavor.com for a chance to win trips to the Super Bowl, Daytona 500 and NBA Finals courtesy of new Prilosec OTC Wildberry. The prize will include travel and accommodations (a two-night hotel stay and air transportation for each destination), and one $5,000 check to be used to stuff your face with heartburn inducing food which you can then follow up with some Prilosec OTC Wildberry.

Sounds like a perfect deal!

Handballer Gets a Kiss So He Shoves Opponent and Takes Off His Shorts

2012-11-20T01:29:59+00:00

Handball is, obviously, a fiery sport full of passion. In Italy, a country also known for its citizens occassionally being overly passionate, that reputation was only enhanced following a match when Ivan Stuffer took umbrage to a peck on the cheek from his opponent, Pasquale Maione.

Reacting in the most standard manner, Stuffer makes sure everyone knows he isn't gay by not overreacting whatsoever and calmly shoving Maione to the floor. To further prove his heterosexuality, Stuffer does the less-common-but-always-appreciated move of pulling his pants down and fondling himself in the direction of the crowd in the face of their derisive cheers.

To cap it off, Stuffer struts over to the fans, jeers at them and then proceeds to sit himself down amongst them.

His outburst earned him a two-game suspension.

Well played Stuffer, through your mature, level-headed actions you've shown everyone that you both tolerate people of all sexual orientations but also that you yourself have the patience of a monk.

Quick, Chick-Fil-A, sign this guy up as your new spokesman! I can see the commercials already.

I gotta say, he DOES live up to the title of handball-er, so there is that...

Long Drive Champ Destroys Simulator with a Tee Shot

2012-11-20T01:17:55+00:00

Golfer Jamie Sadlowski can flat-out crush the ball, having won multiple long drive competitions with a personal best of 455 yards—that's like, REALLY far. He stopped by the Golf Channel recently to take on Gary Williams in a drive-for-drive contest that quickly turned into no contest after Sadlowski's first shot.

Teeing off into a simulator, Sadlowski straight up pulverizes his shot THROUGH the simulator's screen.

I personally especially love how, because these men are golfers, they are both completely devoid of any personality and react almost robotically to the awesomeness in front of them.

Shock Claim: Sex Toy Sales in Canada are UP Thanks to NHL Lockout

2012-11-20T01:11:57+00:00

With the NHL lockout approaching its 640th month it is now time for responsible journalists to look for new storylines, new ways the lockout has impacted the lives of fans everywhere.

That's how we come to this story from the Toronto Sun which claims that with hockey on ice, Canadians have turned to a more intimate way of passing the time: banging each other's brains out.

According to the article, one sex shop owner said that his business increased in size nearly 15%, something he equates to hockey's lockout.

"When Oilers fans, mostly guys, have to break their routine of seeing every game, they have more time," Vinay Morker of Hush Lingerie and More in Edmonton said. "And there’s nothing better than spending it with your spouse or girlfriend."
Morker said Hush’s main clientele is couples looking to “expand their horizons” and he’s seen a 15% jump in the sales of their sex toys, lingerie, games and sexual guides, like The Kama Sutra, since October.

How can the newspaper industry be dying with hard-hitting journalism and high quality investigative reports like this being published every day?

[Toronto Sun]

Chiefs Fan's Obit Blames Team for His Death

2012-11-20T00:57:52+00:00

The Kansas City Chiefs' play on the field leaves much to be desired but who knew that rooting for the team was deadly? That was the case for one Loren "Sam" Lickteig whose recent obitiuary cast some of the blame for his death at the Chiefs' feet.

I always say, "If you're gonna go, might as well take some people out with ya," and it looks like Mr. Lickteig couldn't agree more.

[Jeff Passan]

Mariano Rivera Throws...for a Cologne Commercial

2012-11-20T00:52:46+00:00

Yankee closer extraordinaire Mariano Rivera is progressing in his rehab from a knee injury to the point where he has begun a throwing program. What better way to highlight that progress than by hawking the (presumably garbage-smelling) cologne that the team is putting out?

Your browser does not support iframes.

"Cool, man."

[MLB]

Random Cyclist Leads Race Runners Off Course

2012-11-19T23:41:33+00:00

The people of England are an orderly sort; if they see a queue they'll blindly line up, even if they have no idea what about what it is they are lining up for in the first place. Showing off their best lemming-like attributes, hundreds of runners at the Heaton Memorial 10K in Newcastle were led wildly off-course after they noticed a cyclist wearing a bright jacket and followed him, believing him to be a race official.

He was not.

In fact, the cyclist was merely some local bloke out for a recreational spin.

Ultimately, the erroneous runners went a half-mile in the wrong direction until race officials were able to corral them and point them in the proper way.

"The cyclist was dressed in fluorescent clothing," the Heaton Harriers running club said in a statement, "and as the leading group of runners ran closer to him they mistook him to be a race official and mistakenly followed him to the right instead of carrying straight on.

"We apologise for any inconvenience caused and will take steps in future events to ensure this does not happen again."

[World of Sport]

Bills Fan Sues Team for Sending Him "Excessive" (Three) Text Messages

2012-11-14T03:59:55+00:00

If you're a strict literalist, Buffalo Bills fan Jerry Wojcik is your man. After signing up for a text-messaging service from the team that was supposed to send 5 messages a week, Wojcik found himself buried under a deluge of messages and has started a class-action suit against the team for their "excessive" messages.

It seems that Wojcik received a grand total of three more text messages than the team said they would send (over a period of several weeks.)

According to his lawsuit, Wojcik claims that during the week of September 23-29 he received SIX messages instead of five. Then, to compound his horror, the week of October 14-20 he received SEVEN messages.

Frankly, I'm amazed that Wojcik is even able to still stand after suffering the way he has.

If these are the freedoms that the terrorists want to take away, I'm OK with that.

[CBS]

The Best Reaction to a Gatorade Bath EVER

2012-11-13T03:41:59+00:00

When the Toronto Argonauts defeated the Edmonton Eskimos on Sunday to advance one step closer to the famed CFL Grey Cup you would think that first-year coach Scott Milanovich would be quite excited about the moment. His players certainly were, giving their coach the requisite Gatorade bath, which also resulted in one of the best, stone cold reactions to frozen liquids being thrown on someone.

Steely!

"I was mad," Milanovich said. "I said, 'This is not the Grey Cup.' This is just one of three steps we want to take."

Spoken like a coach. Belichick would be proud.

[55 Yard Line]

Von Miller Can Dance If He Wants To, Shows Off His Safety Dance

2012-11-13T03:25:52+00:00

Denver Broncos stud defensive player Von Miller was excited when his team took down Carolina Panthers QB Cam Newton for a safety on Sunday, showing off his version of the Safety Dance. Take THAT Men at Work.

CFL QB Gets a Brutal Ankle Injury

2012-11-12T23:11:11+00:00

The manner in which the human body is formed allows for certain joints and appendages to move or rotate within specific, tight parameters. When said appendages are forced in a direction beyond a certain allowable movement, they can cause horrific injuries.

Edmonton Eskimos (CFL) quarterback Matt Nichols learned this human anatomy lesson the hard way after taking a hit from a rushing defender.

It's not for the faint of heart (it comes at about :40 into the video).

OUCHHHHHHH!

Of course, if Al Michaels were calling the game he'd say merely that Nichols was out with "a leg"...

Peyton and Colorado Both Celebrate 420

2012-11-12T23:02:06+00:00

On Sunday, Denver Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning threw his 420th touchdown pass, moving him into second place behind only Dan Marino for the most all-time.

Earlier in the week on Election Day, Colorado citizens voted in a landmark bill that would allow for the full legalization and sale of marijuana.

Coincidence?

I think not...

High Schooler Returns Missed FG 109.9 Yards

2012-11-06T02:04:23+00:00

Under the Friday Night Lights of Texas football the Edinburg North Cougars took on the Sharyland Rattlers in a battle for South Texas supremacy. Edinburg North attempted a 44 yard field goal during the game, only to see the kick fall just barely short.

Sharyland though had Sean Landez deep in the end zone and he manages first a most impressive catch off the kick, somehow balancing to keep his feet inbounds. With that, he takes off down the field, receiving a few fortuitous blocks; ultimately Landez goes 109 yards (and based on where he caught it, I think we can safely call it 109.9 yds) for the longest return in football history.

Not too shabby.

Jerry Jones Gets Locked Out of Cowboys Locker Room

2012-11-06T01:53:52+00:00

As if the Dallas Cowboys' 19-13 loss to the Falcons wasn't bad enough, team owner Jerry Jones found himself an even bigger story after the game. First Jones told reporters that a performance like that on Sunday is enough to fire a GM, except the GM of the Cowboys is Jerry Jones himself...

Then, seeking to speak with his team Jones found himself locked out the squad's locker room. He was seen banging on the door demaning entrance until finally he was admitted.

America's team!

[Matt Barrie]

And We're BACK!

2012-11-06T01:36:39+00:00

Hey gang, sorry about the lack of posting recently, ironically, my Brooklyn headquarters was just fine throughout super storm Sandy; alas, my computer thought it an appropriate time to completely die on me. I brought it in to Apple to get fixed (twice) before they finally were able to correct the issues but that's neither here nor there.

I'm BACK and handsome as ever.

Buckle up.

Bulls Waive Jaric, Is This the End of the Adriana Lima NBA Era?

2012-10-26T00:14:50+00:00

Potentially TERRIBLE news in the NBA came out on Wednesday: the Chicago Bulls waived backup guard Marko Jaric. This news isn't in itself bad, he's a pretty mediocre basketball player, but because of the lasting ramifications.

If Jaric is unable to hook on with another NBA team then that means his wife, the lust-inducing super model Adriana Lima will have no reason to sit courtside at games. What if, god forbid, Jaric signs with a EUROPEAN team and we see the job of Hottest NBA Wife exported across the ocean?

This is EXACTLY the type of thing you can expect in Mitt Romney's America. I can only hope that President Obama, a Bulls fan himself, understands exactly how dire the consequences of losing Ms. Lima would be and steps in immediately.

If need be, for the good of America, I'll marry Ms. Lima instead in order to keep her safe in the US of A.

{rapidgallery}agallery/october/adriana-lima{/rapidgallery}

An Office/76'ers Doppelganger: Andrew Bynum and Craig Robinson

2012-10-25T23:58:59+00:00

The big offseason acquisition for the Philadelphia 76'ers, Andrew Bynum is bringing his personal brand of immaturity and oft-injured basketball to the City of Brotherly Love. Currently nursing a sore knee though he is unlikely to be able to play in the season opener.

A long-time bit part actor, comedian Craig Robinson rose to prominence through his portrayal of Daryl on The Office. Another small role, Robinson saw his screen time increase regularly thanks to his simple, honest and hilarious performances, usually directly opposite the manic actions of Steve Carrell. Going on to star in films like Hot Tub Time Machine and having become a favorite of the Jud Apatow-crew, Robinson will be around long after The Office ends.

Clearly though, the men are doppelgangers.

Romanians Prove to be Master Baiters, Win Angling Championships

2012-10-25T23:49:07+00:00

The sports world has been rocked with a doping case that may have long-lasting ramifications. No, I'm not referring to Lance Armstrong being stripped of his titles, (boooorrrriiinnng) but rather the World Carp Angling Championships where the team from England is claiming that the first-place Romanian squad cheated, using secret bait that provided an unfair advantage.

The Romanians were the hosts for this year's competition and have been feeding the carp in Lake Corbu a special diet for the past five months. Used to the particular recipe, the fish were biting early and often on the rods of the Romanians, much to the Brits' chagrin who were using a different type of bait.

Even more frustrating for the English team, the move by the Romanians doesn't violate any of the rules of the competition although it does seem to violate the spirit.

Joining Romania on the winners podium were Serbia and Bulgaria, both of whom noted the special bait being used in advance and stocked up on their own supply of it as well.

Better luck next time. I guess that's just how the carp crumbles.

(That was terrible.)

[Daily Mail]

Metta World Peace Stars in Nancy Grace's Made-for-TV Lifetime Movie

2012-10-25T23:25:36+00:00

When you think of high-quality cinematic entertainment only two names come to mind: Nancy Grace and ~~Ron Artest~~ Metta World Peace.

Film afficianados everywhere are chomping at the bit to see The Eleventh Victim, based off Grace's first novel, and set to premiere on Lifetime on November 3, Metta plays Garlan Fincher, a detective. Joining World Peace on set is Beverly Hills 90210 alumna Jennie Garth (class of '97) who plays an attorney.

The project truly came together when Grace and World Peace were on Dancing With the Stars together and Grace became a "big fan" of his. Garth also appeared on DWTS (albeit on an earlier season when many of the participants could at least claim to once being "stars."

Get excited to start seeing World Peace popping up all over the big screen, he is appearing in three other movies in post-production right now. Keep this up and people are going to say he's gone "Hollywood."

[Wall Street Journal]

Summer Olympics Hottie Lolo Jones Makes US Bobsled Team

2012-10-25T21:30:36+00:00

Olympic Hottie Lolo Jones has sadly so far fallen short in her quest to win a medal but she has a new avenue towards Olympic glory, the Winter Games.

Only three weeks into trying the bobsled, Jones was selected as one of six pushers for the US squad as it gears up for the 2014 Sochi Olympics. This after her first run had her finishing only .05 seconds off the leader. Joining Jones on the squad is gold medal winning sprinter Tianna Madison.

While neither track star is a guarantee to make the final team (there are only 3 push slots available) they're at least putting themselves in a position towards success. Track athletes have long been sought after in the bobsled world because of their speed and explosiveness can be well utilized in getting the sleds underway.

At the least, we get to fantasize about the uber-sexy Jones in another spandex body suit—and this time with a HELMET.

SEXXY

[ESPN]