Part 2: The Truth Is

Part 3: A Strange Boy Wearing Glasses, Smoking a Cigarette

Part 4: Count Basie

Part 5: He Keeps the Rhythm and, Therefore, He Keeps the Form

Part 6: We Called Him Mr. X

Part 7: A Comparison of Two Birthdays

Part 8: Beatlemania

Part 9: Is Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds About Drugs

Part 10: The Break Up of the Beatles Looked Something Like This

Part 11: Imagine

http://therealityinstitute.net/enn-weee/enn-weee!.zip

Seth Blake

Tracy Jeanne Rosenthal

Chelsea Trescott

Byron Campbell

Lan Pham

Brian Pickett

Patrick Benjamin

On December 17th, 2011, with parts and support from its parent corporation, Reality™ Incorporated Co., The Reality™ Institute held its first Reality™ Expo at Control Room in downtown Los Angeles.

For the first time ever, patrons were able to get a firsthand experience of what reality™ might look like by interacting with a variety of simulated recreations of the reality situation. Simulations of various “rooms of the house” were displayed with lifelike accuracy, including appropriate paraphernalia, cultural decor, and media apparatuses all curated by a highly-ordained staff of Reality™ Specialists.

As you can see from this map, the exhibit was designed to give each “room” a heightened sense of authenticity, with each cultural item detailed with a high degree of specificity.

The “teen’s bedroom” for instance, included an almost flawless recreation of an authentic video game, a compact disc player with fabricated music, and pornographic comic books (as seen individually here and here).

 The “parents’ office” was a highly detailed office simulation that included two different audiobooks (here and here), synthetic poetry, and a prosaic manuscript all carefully crafted to represent the tastes of the educated, uninformed class.

The living room broadcast on a 59″ screen an extremely realistic series of commercials, instructional videos and music videos, and other forms of propaganda on a 35 minute loop throughout the night.

Finally, there was the Reality™ Frontiers portion of the expo, which included projections into the future possibilities of reality™.

And, because all expos need some sort of break from the knowledge imparted in them, there was sanctioned entertainment from a variety of talented guests: Patrick Benjamin, Brian Pickett, Lan Phan, Byron Campbell, Chelsea Trescott, Tracy Jeanne Rosenthal, Seth Blake, and Hillary Kapan.  And throughout the night, our Reality™ Representatives surveyed the patrons to ensure the authenticity of the simulation by asking quality feedback questions like “Does this feel real to you?” and “Is this really happening?”

Other Ordained Specialists included:

Melena Baralis

Adria Bregani
Scott Grunewald

Anthony Lowder
Danielle Matich

Oscar Moralde

Ben Nyberg
Dave Perry

Nancy Romero
Laurel Rosales

Master of Ceremonies and CEO:

Michael Molitch-Hou™

[Show as slideshow]

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Tim says in his e-mail (dated 9/26/11) to me:

Hey!

I am releasing a beer, as you now know. And it is certified Real™. I brewed it with a brewery in Scotland called BrewDog, and it’s an 8.2% black lager made with miso and toasted walnuts. It’s in kegs now and we’re launching it in London tonight, and then we took about half the batch and put it into Bourbon barrels with apples and we’re going to age that before releasing it. I’m attaching the label.

I couldn’t be happier or more proud to see my little Timmy grow up to win a TV cooking show and then release a beer based off of his own beloved cartoon character. You’ve come a long way and you’ve got a long way to go. Way to go, Tim! Thanks for ensuring that reality™ maintains its integrity by certifying your product as real™. Now, everyone can finally drink something that isn’t a pure figment of their imaginations. The endorsement of a real Masterchef! Thanks!

Buy the record.

Or check it out on Spotify.

Remember those commercials from the 90′s where an angsty adolescent would give you attitude for not comprehending the post-modern product that he used? Remember books? Well, now they’re both back! We at the Reality™ Institute have updated your favorite commercials from that holy TV block known as “Saturday Morning Cartoons” to save that endangered art form known as good literature.

Take a look!

Make mom and dad buy you one today!