The Queen Speaks

To the Male Species...

2009-11-10T08:00:00.001-07:00

...a general note to teenagers and men: there are other people in the world, you can vacuum just as well as I can, dirty socks in the middle of the floor are not "home decor", there is no magic cleaning/cooking fairy, and you'd be smart to just accept "I have a headache" to mean "ask me to do one more thing or touch me and you're taking your life into your own hands". Then again, when said at the right moment - and in just the right tone - it can also mean "you screwed up big time - and I'm not going to tell you what you did. You figure it out - quickly - and then go out of your way to apologize/fix it - for as long as it takes for my "headache" to go away."

Just doing my part to educate the male population of the world...after spending the last few days with my boys, this apparently needs to be said.

That is all.

One Lovely Blog Award

2009-11-09T08:00:00.002-07:00

I'll admit it...I'm a horrible blogger. A terrible blogging friend. An inexcusable award poster. (Award poster? Somehow that's one thing I never saw myself as...a poster. I've known for a long time that the childebeasts were poster children for good birth control, but me? I wonder what I would say as a poster.)

Sorry.

There is this most incredible blog I read - Candles, Crafts, and Whatnot. The author is Kat, a woman with a heart of gold and a treasure trove of talent. She's incredible in so many ways - and maybe that's why I put off accepting such an award. I don't feel like I deserve it - especially from someone like Kat. She gives me something to aspire to, someone to emulate, and her talent provides me with a creative jolt. I absolutely think the world of her...even though she probably hates me for taking six eons to post the kindness she bestowed upon me!

Not only does Kat run Candles, Crafts, and Whatnot, she also keeps another blog - Soy Wax Candles. Both blogs are equally interesting - and both have a wide variety of information. Candles, Crafts, and Whatnot is a great place to go if you're looking for a laugh - Kat's sense of humor really shines on her blogs. Whether you're looking for interesting information or a good laugh, this lady has you covered. Definitely a daily must read!

Thankfully, Kat has included a link to her ArtFire shop on both blogs - and it's a great place to see her latest pieces. For example, check out this incredible necklace. Don't you just love it??

Seafoam Necklace - Kats Candles

If you want to see more of Kat's gorgeous pieces, be sure to visit her ArtFire store, Kats Candles. You can view her delectable creations - and this is the place to pick up some of her gorgeous handmade items for yourself. Kat has done a fabulous job of making her offerings very affordable - without sacrificing quality or beauty.

Now that you know a little about Kat and her wonderful spirit, her creativity, and her tremendous talent, you can see why girlfriend has accumulated a whopping 30 awards. WOW! I will get on with the rules of the "One Lovely Blog Award".

Kat explains the rules like this:

Accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award, and his or her blog link. Pass the award to 15 other blogs that you’ve newly discovered. Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award.

Not an easy accomplishment! I've already gotten the first part done, so it's on to naming 15 other blogs I've newly discovered. That's the hard part...but here we go - in no particular order...

Thank you so much, Kat. I accept the Award with gratitude - and please know that my inability to get this posted has nothing to do with the way your kindness touched my heart. I'm just a terminal dork. I can't help it.

** Please note: If you aren't on this list, it doesn't mean I don't love and adore your awesome blog. The rules of the award state you must include recently discovered blogs - and you can only have 15. I could have named many more phenomenal blogs because each of you is special, amazing, admirable, and wonderful. I chose these blogs based on the ones I've found most recently, then kind of whichever I came across first when I got to the group of great blogs I found about the same time. **

Holiday Gifts...Part II

2009-11-06T08:00:00.001-07:00

After yesterday's wildly off-topic post, I'll hopefully stick to the topic today. Maybe.

I would like to give those of you making crafty holiday gifts, a little someum' someum' to think about. I know for a fact that anyone can make a spectacular gift - all anyone needs is a little time and the right tools. Maybe some instructions - or at least a creative idea - and some patience. Those few things, plus the points I'll discuss below, will help to make your gift fantastic - rather than fugly. Read on for my thoughts - and a few ideas - about making gifts for the holidays.

I've done so many different things for holiday gifts - and they've changed a lot over the years. Since having childebeasts (which would make it sound like I remember what life was like before they came along...NOT! lol), I've tried to do things they can help with - but are still wanted by the recipient. There is nothing worse than getting something the parent considers cute - but you have no idea a) what it is, b) what it's used for, and c) what to do with it. I'm all for giving gifts made by the kids - but certain things are items only grandparents adore. Let's not force those things on the unsuspecting (or unwilling)!

Also, another quick note - know your skill level. There are so many different projects online (all it takes is a quick Google search), it's easy to find one that fits with your talents, skill level, budget, and style. If you run across something you really want to make - and it takes you 5 hours to make one, that may not be the best thing to make for all 100 of your office mates. Trust me. I've done this to myself before - and rather than enjoying the process, I wind up cursing the recipients existence. That isn't really what the holiday spirit is about...

Edibles are always great - especially for people you work with. If you have (or can find!) a dynamite recipe for fudge or other holiday confection, you'll endear yourself to those you give it to...forever. This is one of the easiest things I've done - and has saved my backside more than once. Great for last minute gifts - or to keep on hand to give to those people who give you something...and you don't have anything to give back.

Ornaments are also appreciated. These are great things for associates or acquaintances - maybe those who are closer to you than the majority of people at the office, but not a real close friend. These can also be good for teachers because they are so easy to customize. Last year, we did a lot of ornaments. (I thought I made a tutorial for this - but I can't find it, so evidently I didn't.) Since we live in Denver, we made "melted snowman" ornaments. Clear glass ornaments, clear (and a few white) seed beads, black (eyes & buttons), orange (nose), and red & white (hats & scarves) polymer clay, and acetate (overhead projector sheets) cut to fit inside the ornaments. I made a pattern for the acetate so it would fill the diameter of the ornament - and before cutting them out of the full sheet, I stamped white (and embossed iridescent) snowflakes all over. Then I wrote, "Happy Holidays from the _______ 2008" on the acetate, taking up most of the room. Around the bottom I wrote, "Genuine snowman from Denver, CO". I cut these out, rolled them up to fit through the neck of the ornament, and used a pencil to center the writing. Dump in the seed beads and little accessories you've made out of polymer clay, tie a ribbon around the top, and you're done! You can make a lot of these quickly - and inexpensively.

The other things I've/we've made...homemade potpourri, sun catchers with dried flowers/leaves/seeds (this one takes some forethought if you want to save by drying your own flowers/leaves/seeds), wreathes, lip balm kits (for my daughter's friends), personalized stationery, mini/art quilts, and memory boxes. If you are looking for something to give a pet lover, homemade treats for their pet are appreciated, as is an easy-to-make personalized food or water dish.

Whatever you decide to make, whether it's from scratch or you're just altering something you've bought, personalizing it to the recipient is easy - and appreciated. It shows you've taken the time and made the effort to make it special. Which would you rather receive - something someone made 100 of...or something personalized? Personalization doesn't take that much longer - but can really make your gift special.

I know I said I would only talk about this for one day...but it's now lapsed into two. And I'll open it up for questions...if you are going to be crafty this holiday season, and you have questions, let me have 'em. From questions about how to make something, to wanting me to write a tutorial about a project...or needing ideas for a certain skill level - or particular recipients...or wanting to know where to get a supply (at a great price)...or anything else, leave a comment with your question. If there are enough questions, I'll make a Q&A post.

Just don't ask me about the meaning of life.

Holiday Gifts

2009-11-05T07:58:00.000-07:00

Before I get in to today's post, I want to thank you for the well wishes. I'm not dead after all...in fact, I feel a lot better today. Unfortunately for the childebeasts, their plan was foiled. Muwahahaha

Today, let's talk about holiday gifts. As someone who absolutely despises the holidays, I'm not going to spend a lot of time on this. In fact, I'm not even going to say anything more about it...probably until December. By then, even those of us who don't get all "warm and fuzzy" about the holidays can't resist the pressure of it all, and are forced to submit. Leave me alone about it the other 11 months - and I'll do my best to pretend I like it the last month of the year. (Maybe I'll write some schleppy post about why I dislike Christmas so much...but maybe not. It's not interesting, no one thing made me start hating it, and it just brings up more holiday talk.)

While pondering the possible end of my life yesterday, I was continually interrupted by commercials of happy families getting their holiday groove on. Especially by KMart and their lay-a-way plan. (I think those commercials started like a 4-6 weeks ago.) Irritating as it was, I know it's going to get a whole lot worse - much like the political commercials do right before a presidential election. Then I found out that Santa will be arriving at area malls this Friday. November 6. A full FORTY-NINE days before Christmas. It's a record - and the malls say they're doing it to help "parents get in the mood, and realize Christmas is just around the corner". As if parents - who have children of any age - can forget? Really?? I find it hard to believe the 'beasts are the only children who, all year long, say they want _______ for Christmas. Even the day after Christmas, while half the crap is still in its packaging, the 'beasts are watching TV and commenting they want _____ for next Christmas. Thanks, KMart - I don't need a reminder that I can put everything on lay-a-way. And a huge THANK YOU to the Denver Post - for letting me know Santa will be at the mall from tomorrow til Christmas. You just cemented the fact I will not be going to the mall - for any reason - til after the first of the year.* The last thing I want or need is to get the childebeasts all riled up about Christmas...while they are still hyped up on their Halloween candy.

Hello...can you say tangents? Maybe we'll get to what my point is. So the post is a little convoluted and confusing. So am I.

Crafting and holiday gifts. This will be old news to some of you - but still important things to remember, nonetheless. There are some very specific rules to making things for others as holidays gifts, lest you land on Homemade Hilarity. Fantastic site - if you, or something you've made, aren't on it. In an effort to help all of you - craftista or not - here is some important information to keep in mind if you are going to make gifts this year, rather than buying everything. Let's face it - rollin' with these economic times means everyone needs to save a few Benjamen's (or in my case, Washington's), so many people who haven't necessarily considered giving a handmade gift before, are seriously considering it this year. Which is awesome - I'm all about forwarding the handmade movement - as long as it's well thought out and not just thrown together.

There are several points I want to make about crafting a gift for the holidays - especially those who are new to making gifts. I truly believe anyone can make something really nice - whether they have experience or not - and I'd like to give you some pointers so you can be as successful as possible. I'm not going to focus on what you can make - doing a search on Google will net you more results than you could use in 100 holidays - but I do want to give you some things to think about before plunging in, headfirst.

Unless you'd rather do things the Queen Katherine way...don't think about it, just start making something. Don't worry about how many you need to make - just start on one. After finishing that first one, realize it took you six hours to make it, you've use all your supplies for that particular project, it's ten o'clock at night so the stores are closed, the gift exchange event is in two days, and you need to make 109 more. Sadly, that's how I do things...so I'm trying to save you and spare you a lot of frustration. Tune in tomorrow for the stuff I was going to post today, until I got off on other subjects.

* In all fairness, it should be noted that I haven't been to the mall since...it's been so long that I can't even remember the last time I went to the mall. So it isn't like they'll be missing out on my I-don't-have-two-nickels-to-rub-together-food-stamp-getting-I-hate-Christmas self.

xx,

Ugly Dog Flu, Swine Flu & Turning into a Wombat

2009-11-04T14:13:00.001-07:00

I. AM. SO. SICK.

Is it UGLY DOG FLU??

Could it be SWINE FLU??

Or...Am I just turning into a WOMBAT??

Any of these is entirely plausible.

Whatever it is, I'm dying. Wait. I can only hope I'm dying.

Since I rarely go anywhere, I didn't just pick this up somewhere. No. I think it was a conspiracy. I think this is the way my children have planned to finally get rid of me.

Everything hurts. It's hard to type this post. But I wanted to let someone know, just in case this is it.

If I make it the next few hours, I'll be laying in bed, watching my favorite new shows. Have you checked out ABC's Wednesday night line-up? Hank (with Kelsey Grammar), In the Middle (Patricia Heaton), Modern Family (Ed O'Neill), and Cougar Town (Courtney Cox Arquette). Sadly, watching these shows is the high point of my week, sick or not. If you haven't seen any of them, you are under orders by the Queen to watch. Especially In the Middle. LOVE IT. Whether it's due to fantastic acting - or the strange way the three kids remind me of my three kids - this is a DO NOT MISS show. And I don't think I've said that since Ally McBeal.

Since I'm dying, you have to find the links yourself. Or not. I don't have enough energy to care. I just think you'll really enjoy these shows.

And that, my dear friends, is my final gift to you, in case whatever-this-is really does kill me. Just know you were loved enough for me to share my television-watching secrets with you.

Now get out of here before you get whatever-this-is. I'm also not doing any dropping today...I'm sorry. I just can't. And I don't want to infect anyone. But I really do love you.

xx (from afar),

To Whom it May Concern...

2009-11-03T08:25:00.000-07:00

...I don't really care if you don't want to get up at 6:00 am. Neither do I. But you have to get up ~~so I have 8 hours to look for my sanity, without your help~~ for school.

...it isn't my problem you don't have clean clothes. Maybe you should have put them in the hamper every day - rather than dumping them on me all at once. Oh yeah - the hamper is that huge thing by your bedroom door...right next to the pile of clothes you've accumulated on the floor. You know, that thing you use as a weapon against your brother and sister.

...you'll get me to wash your clothes if you ask me before 10 pm.

...no, I'm not going to let you have a girl sleep over. You haven't been that successful at taking all my sense.

...yes, I do get "pissy" when the police show up at 10:30 pm because the neighbor called after they heard you yell at your sister, "I'm going to throw you down the stairs and kill you!!". And she's screaming in a pitch that's close to something only ~~neighbors~~ dogs can hear.

...I also get "pissy" when you use the word "pissy".

...I hate riding the city bus.

...I get a bit irritated when, 2 weeks into school, you call to tell me you'll be home late because you have detention.

...you gave me every gray hair I have on my head - so stop singing that stupid song you guys made up. ("Secret Gray Haired Girl" sung to what I've now decided is also a stupid song "Secret Agent Man".)

...you can give me all the dirty looks you want for taking 17 items in the 15 item lane at the grocery store. I just want to get out of there before my 'beasts do damage I can't pay for.

...I'm not amused when we get home from the store and I discover 5 things I didn't purchase at the store - but you threw in the cart behind my back. Especially when I had to put my Midol back because I didn't have enough money to cover the total.

...you'll feel the same way when you discover why I was buying the Midol.

...it isn't charming when you go up to random strangers and tell them I'm single and need a date.

...it really isn't charming when you choose to do this when I haven't showered, we walked to the store in 90* heat, and the guy is:

~ so obviously not into hygeine.

~ has a wedding ring the size of Maldives.

~ is already with a woman.

...it's so not funny when you call out, in a crowd of people, "Ok, ok - just please don't beat me again when we get home! I can't take the pain anymore!" - OR - "Mom, if you won't use the whip on me I promise to put my own chains back on and get back into the closet myself!".

...I also don't care for the game, Intercom Mom. (Don't know what that is? It's one of the hottest games my kids love to play - and the rules are simple. The store must be busy - and mom must be frazzled. You nonchalantly make your way away from said mother...then beat feet to the customer service desk. Then you tell the person working that you think your mom left you at the store - and could they please page your mom?? Yeah. I love that game.)

...finding out you're a well-known "comp doctor", after you left me hanging with my pain situation, annoys me.

...no, I don't think I'm the only mother in the universe who gets upset when you spend the night at your friend's house - and come home with bright green hair. And a nose ring. And some additional new "colorful" words to add to your already "colorful" vocabulary.

...having your dean call me - in the middle of an appointment with "comp doctor" - to let me know you skipped a class, will put me on edge. Telling the dean I don't "do anything" and am just at home, not answering so the dean should continue calling back until he gets an answer, isn't exactly on my list of great ideas, either.

...then again, the dean deciding it's ok to continue hitting redial until I answer, gives me serious cause for concern regarding our educational system.

...I'm sorry you think I'm acting "uppity" because I was irritated you called some 800 number to get a "free" Bible from the Mormons - and now they won't stop calling/coming over - and you want me to handle it, and I won't. You called for the Bible. You can politely tell them you aren't interested. HINT: Agreeing to let them come over for a Bible study this weekend, then planning on just pretending you aren't home when they show up, is not a good way to end their barrage of calls/visits.

...just because I "look" normal doesn't mean my handicap placard hanging from the rear view mirror is fake. No I'm not interested in discussing my medical condition with you. No you cannot have my dr's phone number. No I don't care if you report me.

...and finally, I don't care about so-and-so's parents letting their kid have co-ed sleepovers/go two states over for a rap concert/not having to go to school/drive - alone - even though they failed the driving test/smoke pot/whatever,.You've already told me I'm "the meanest mom in the world", I'm "totally uncool", and that I was "never a kid so [I] don't understand and never will!!" - and that other thing. You know, the one about the joy I get out of punishing you, the pure glee I feel for not letting you do whatever you want, and the sheer giddiness I have about you (and your attitude) staying home rather than going out with your friends. I actually do sit up at night and come up with ways to make you miserable. (Are you kidding me? I'm almost always useless by 7, praying for bed by 8, and catatonic by 9...and you think I'm still able to come up with ways to wreck your life??)

Wait. Scrap that.

xx,

Halloween Hangover

2009-11-02T10:40:00.001-07:00

My aunt and uncle's, where we spend Halloween every year.

The two little lights in the upstairs windows are little Halloween luminaries.

The front yard. Spooky grave site with it's occupant trying to escape by clawing through the earth!

Close up of yard decorations.

Mr Creepy's hand is just visible in the center, at the bottom.

Skull torch lighting the way for trick or treaters

It was a full moon on Halloween.

If you look close, you'll notice something is wrong.

The Man in the Moon is missing!

He's been replaced by a witch!

My aunt - who doesn't need a costume.

She's a crazy old bat everyday.

I hope she knows I'm kidding.

A frightful sight -

she's giving my oldest a kiss.

A trick or treating neighbor -

the cutest little bumble bee I've ever seen!

My uncle, who's married to the above aunt...for 40 yrs next June!

He's a normal guy - but he's just a big kid.

He lives to pull pranks - you should hear some of the things he and his best friend

did in high school. His best friend's name was Butch...so what do you expect??

Every year he does something to mess with the kids.

Usually he scares them to the point where they need therapy.

Year after year, he gets them so good that they never forget it.

They talk about it for the rest of the year. Seriously.

His pranks are something they wait for -

with enthusiasm and excitement...mixed with total fear and dread.

Nothing is off limits to him.

So when the kids were called to their basement,

they were beyond hesitant.

It took a lot of cajoling to get them to go down there...

when they finally opened the door, turned on the light and

descended the basement stairs, this is what they found...

(this photo has not been altered - and was taken with both of us on the same level)

(To get the full effect, you may want to click on the picture to enlarge it)

Yes, his knees are in his shoes. And he's holding a "Harpo Marx" horn.

That he honked all night.

I can't look at that picture without cracking up.

And finally...it's onto the 'beasts.

Meet Michael Jackson.

(What a pose, eh?!)

An important note about "Michael's" hair:

He actually put this entire costume together himself.

He didn't have any hair - in fact, he shaved his head earlier that day.

(I told him he could have a "faux hawk" - he's wanted a mohawk for as long

as I can remember. His hair was longer than it's ever been. He declined,

asking me to shave his head instead. What could I do but comply??

Is it good for him to be that "normal"? At 13??)
And he's blond. So he needed a little help...but the Queen,
being ~~broke~~ savvy, wouldn't buy the expensive wig.
So what did the young man do?
~ I'm so proud of him ~

A) Used black construction paper
B) Used black yarn & his extensive knowledge of knots he's learned
from tying up his brother and sister
C) Used wool roving and needle felted
D) Asked one of his equally bone-headed friends to cut off a few of his dreads

While under normal circumstances, I would choose "D" if I were answering that question (come on..."D" sounds totally like what one of my offspring would do!), I'm proud to say he didn't do that. Nor did he do "A" or "B"...I'm happy to report that my son chose "C", all by himself!

He had seen me needle felt in the past - and when he saw my black wool roving, inspiration struck. He asked for minimal help at first, then completed it all on his own. I helped him cut the hair and adhere it to the inside of the hat - but I'm still shocked he did that. All by himiself. Yay! I don't know whether I'm more proud that he thought of making hair out of roving - or that he knew (mostly) how to do it. You mean they are paying attention to the things I say? I think I'm going to swoon.

I suppose that one of them listening to me go on about art - and absorb the information - is better than them totally ignoring me about everything...which is what I thought was happening. They may end up in jail - but they'll know about art, damnit!

Funny how that leads so well into the next costume.

Since the oldest isn't allowed to dress up like he's in some gang called the Juggalos, this was his chance.

He had his face painted like the main band members, Insane Clown Posse (ICP). He bought an over-priced shirt from ICP...then, and this is the incredibly phenomenal part...he wanted to buy an expensive "hatchetman" necklace - and again, my ~~broke~~ savvy self said no.

(Don't know what the "hatchetman" is?

Now you know.)

So he actually asked for my help - and then made his own pendant.

(I know - it's shocking...a teenager asking their parent for help on something?? Don't worry - I'm calling Ripley's Believe It or Not in just a few minutes.)

He printed out a hatchetman, cut it out of 26 gauge aluminum, sanded it with the Dremel, then hardened it with the hammer and steel block. Then he used metal primer before painting it red with acrylic paint.

I know! Close your mouth - you don't look your best with your mouth hanging open.

I'm just sayin'...it's not your best look.)

This whole experience was such a shocker!

The Princess dressed up as a witch - a combination "pretty/scary, good/bad" witch.

That made it a bit difficult to do her makeup!

This particular picture makes me smile because it totally doesn't look like her. When she would put that nose on, strange things happened. Not only didn't she look like herself, but she instantly became the ornery, sneaky, mean little witch. Well, at least to her brothers.

Before long, it was back home to scrub the faces...

(Notice his shaved head?!)

And chain their little bodies to their beds as they each came off their candy high...

and settled into sugar-induced comas.

That's A LOT of Snow

2009-10-31T10:51:00.001-06:00

So sending the Princess out to measure the snow with my 18" ruler wasn't so smart.

How was I supposed to know the snow was so deep,

the ruler would get lost and take 3 people to find it?

With all the snow we've gotten in Denver lately, I can't imagine being stuck without cable. The kids have been on fall break all week, making ~~alcohol~~ ~~drugs~~ cable a necessity. (The only reason I'm not in jail at this point.) Even with cable, they were getting a little stir crazy (and making me flat crazy) after the second full day of being in the house. Our homeowner's association hires a crew that shovels our sidewalks and plows our streets - but it usually takes them forever to get here to do it. The snow was so wet and heavy this week, they were even later than usual. In an attempt to stop the fighting (and protect my very last ~~fragment~~ atom of sanity), I sent them over to shovel the sidewalk of an elderly neighbor. She asked them to knock the wet, heavy snow off her satellite dish - the snow knocked out her satellite connection, meaning she couldn't watch television. Neither of us had a ladder big enough to reach the dish, so the poor woman was out of luck for about 72 hours. We have cable - and had it gone out, I would have frantically pounded on every door in the state - taking hostages until I acquired enough chemicals to be comfortably numb. Then I would have checked myself inot the loony bin.

Oh wait.

My house = loony bin. Insane asylum. Circus town. Mental institution. Nut house. Sanitarium. Funny farm. Madhouse. Zoo. Padded cell. Sanatorium. Rubber room. Booby hatch.

We got about 3 1/2 feet of snow with really deep drifts. It was miserable. The 'beasts even got tired of being stuck in the house - they love playing in the snow, but the wind was blowing so hard that the snow came down sideways most of the time. Since the snow was literally blinding, the 'beasts were forced to come up with inventive ways to spend their time - without doing anything illegal...which included an assortment of...umm...things.

For example, our indoor cat Princess, loves to go outside...even though she's not supposed to. Lately, we've been letting her out for short periods of time so she can sun herself on our small front stoop and the sidewalk. Since we've been letting her out, she hasn't gone far - and she comes right back in when you call her.

Princess is not an outdoor cat, though. She likes being warm and comfortable. She's basically my a lap cat. So when it snows, she stays inside...no desire to go outside. She'll sit at the storm door and look out - but that's it. Well, that's it...when the kids aren't on fall break.

Middle son thought it would be fun to ~~have her experience~~ drop her in the snow - and watch her reaction. I could have told you before they even did this that her reaction would not be positive. That she would not find a dunk in the snow enjoyable. However, no one asked me before they did it...and I wasn't aware of the "plan" prior to it happening. I'm in the kitchen piddling around when I hear the front door open. No big deal - the kids had been in and out all morning. No big deal until I see the cat in middle son's arms. I didn't have time to yell "STOP!" - I only got my mouth open...where it stayed, while they proceeded to hold her out straight...and drop her.

One minute there was a kitty. The next there was nothing but a hole in the snow. Make that a moving hole. I'd never seen snow move quite that way. And as I'm ~~open mouthed gaping~~ looking out the window, wondering where the cat is - but knowing she's in the snow, but not believing it - I see it happen.

Princess pulls off the seemingly impossible. She jumps straight up. Horizontally. No vertical definition whatsoever. Totally perpendicular to where the ground would be if it wasn't covered in snow. And not only did she accomplish that, she actually began moving toward the front door...in one very swift movement. Think of the cartoon Scooby Doo and the way Shaggy and Scooby run when a ghost is after them. That's exactly how Princess moved. Home girl shot straight up and toward the safety of the front door. The kids laughed hysterically - and Princess gave them the evil eye for the next two days. She still won't let them touch her.

Doing things like that is what entertained them. I had no idea how many things like that there are to do around here!

We got so much snow. How much snow did you get? We got so much, I almost lost the Princess.

The Princess is almost 5' tall. She is standing at the end of our street, on the snow that's accumulated on the grass - right behind one of the drifts we have around here.

She had a horrible time getting behind the drift - she had to find a point where the snow wasn't as deep so she could walk through it without sinking into it. It came up to her hips - and who can walk in hip-deep snow? Then again, who wants to??

Just in case you're worried, don't be. The snow didn't get her.

This time.

At one point I sent the Princess out to measure the snow. I gave her an 18" ruler since one of the 'beasts apparently ate the yardstick. See the first set of three pictures to see how well that went.

All-in-all, over three days of constant snow, we got a total of about 40" of snow. The drifts got much deeper than that. Most of the local schools closed all three days - which is basically unheard of. DIA averaged a three-and-a-half hour delay. Businesses closed. I know because there was a constant crawl on the bottom of the tv screen. Twenty-four hours a day. They broke into regularly-scheduled programming. Once they were sure this wasn't the end of it all, they took over commercial breaks in the programming. (I'm sure the advertisers really appreciated that.)

I did get a little vengeance, tho. They spent some of the time highly annoyed. Since they were on fall break, they didn't have school. However, the school districts all around us were out for three days. They miss a lot of snow days - because they are already out of school for some other reason. For example, they return to school Monday...and they're out next Friday for parent-teacher conferences.

Yeah, my heart really aches for them.

And today? Today it's going to be 57. The snow on the streets is now melted. They'll have to walk around huge snow piles while they trick or treat...but it's Colorado, so they're used to it.

I think I'll be adding ~~just a bit of~~ Bailey's to my hot cocoa.

Happy Halloween.

xx,

UPrinting.com Sticker Winner

2009-10-29T10:11:00.002-06:00

Remember the UPrinting.com sticker giveaway I held? My giveaway entries are still suffering. What have I done to all of you that you don't want free stuff?? Geez. I've never had so much trouble giving away free things!

The three people who took the time to enter deserve some link love. All three write great blogs that I highly recommend.

The drawing became all about these three great ladies - and I'm really glad I didn't have to choose! The Princess picked the winner - and the winner is...

I have emailed Ann and she has graciously responded - so the only thing left is to notify UPrinting.com.

Thank you ladies - and UPrinting.com - for the chance to run this contest! Keep your eyes open for the next giveaway...and next time, ENTER! You can't win unless you do...and it's easy to win. Just ask Ann.

xx,

Happy Halloween Trick Bowl

2009-10-27T03:32:00.004-06:00

This is one of my favorite times of year...the anticipation of Halloween, the crisp - ok, downright cold - fall air, the childebeasts out for fall break. In order not to upset anyone, and to be politically correct, the school district here always holds fall break the last week of October. Each year we (usually) have several days leading up to Halloween to get costumes and decorations together. This year has been no exception!

I made a Creepy Halloween Bowl to scare all the little ghosts and goblins that come looking for tricks and treats. It's really easy, didn't take any time at all, and can be made for practically nothing. Make one, then give all the witches and zombies in your neighborhood a ghoulish surprise!

TIME: 30 minutes (after gathering supplies)

COST: Under $5.00

SUPPLIES:

** Most of these supplies are optional. I listed the items I used (and links to examples) - but experiment...be creative! And as always, if you get stuck or need help, click the "Contact" button. I'm glad to help! **

~ Large plastic bowl (around 11") from Halloween section of grocery store (I got mine at King Soopers, $2.99 - before they all went on sale)

~ Dremel too with 1/8" multipurpose cutter, or high speed cutter, etc, and saw bits - or drill with similar bits

~ Glue dots (this is the kind I had on hand - using large, flat Glue Dots would probably work better)

~ Brads with a square/larger, flat head (here's an example - or these candy corn brads would be cute)

~ Yellow latex dish washing glove - 1 (These are just an example - don't you dare pay this much!)

~ Scissors

~ Large rhinestone gems (I used oval and diamond shapes)

~ Glue (something like E-6000 or 2 part epoxy works well - something that will adhere plastics) Do NOT use glue like the Elmer's Craft Glue pictured - it doesn't work!! (I learned this)

~ Black Memories stamp pad (StazOn would work well also)

~ Halloween stamps (small images work best) OR black permanent marker to draw Halloween images (I got mine at Michael's in their dollar bins...you get 2 small stamps for $1, available year-round)

~ Awl (optional)

~ Lighter (optional) Use a long handled lighter - like one for candles, bar-b-ques, or fireplaces, please. Do NOT use a small regular lighter.

Using your Dremel or drill and the saw blade bit (or a sharp knife - carefully!), cut a hole in the bottom of the bowl. Make hole just big enough to slide your hand through. You can sand the edges a little if necessary.

Put your hand inside rubber glove and slide rubber glove through hole. Decide how far you want your hand to stick up in the bowl. Add 3" and cut glove. You can eyeball this measurement - doesn't need to be perfect.*Pay attention to which hand you'll use to hand out the candy so you use the correct glove!*

Cut slits into the sides of the glove long enough to stretch the bottom of the glove around the hole. Use Glue Dots to secure the glove around the hole. Using multipurpose or high speed 1/8" bit and Dremel or drill, drill holes through the glove and plastic bowl at even intervals. You need this part to be really secure - so you should use about 20 +/- brads. You may find it easier to drill 2 holes directly across from each other, insert the brads, then do 2 more...working in a 12 to 6 o'clock, 3 to 9 o'clock, etc pattern.

I had a hard time using the Dremel for this - the glove kept wanting to wind up in the bit. (It was most likely operator error, not Dremel error.) I found that heating my awl - to very hot - and poking it through the glove and bowl - was much easier. This method requires heating the awl for several seconds, many times - which is why you need a long handled lighter and not a typical cigarette lighter.

Open/flatten brad tongs inside bowl. It's important to use brads with a head bigger than the hole so the brads don't slip through. I think the brads I used are about 1/2" square. I just used some I had laying around, but it's important they are flat so they aren't seen. Halloween themed brads would be cute, but definitely not necessary.

After inserting the brads, the glove should be secure. If not, add more brads.

Using black ink and Halloween stamps, stamp the outside of the bowl randomly with small Halloween images.

If you don't have Halloween stamps or a black ink pad, use a permanent marker to draw some Halloween doodles.

Adhere the rhinestone gems around the lip of the bowl. Once the adhesive dries you're ready to go out and give a little trick with your treats! I promise the kids will be talking about your house for a long, looong time.

I thought this was an easy, quick project...but poor Noodles had to take a cat nap when we were finished. I say "we" because I was finished with the bowl...and he was finished trying to chew on the glove, eat the rhinestones, knock the rubber stamps off the bed, walk through the stamp pad...

No wonder Noodles was tired. He was a lot busier than I was!

The Dryer Didn't Shrink It

2009-10-24T15:47:00.001-06:00

So my mom and I have big issues - and haven't spoken in several months. Not one word. I still allow her to pick up the kids and do things with them, and last weekend she picked up the Princess to spend some time with her. (I don't involve the kids in grown up ~~crap~~ business - they need to spend time with their grandparents...almost as much as I need a sanity break.)

She picked up the Princess for some "girl time", and they did all things girl. Shopping, eating at Nordstrom's Tea Room, etc. I talked to the Princess Saturday afternoon and she was having a great time - and we made plans for her to be home Sunday.

When she walked in the door, she looked like this:

But I sent her down like this:

Would anyone else be mad at such an unauthorized transformation? Because I'm really ~~annoyed~~ pissed that my 9 year old was returned to me with such a drastic change - without being consulted first. The only good thing? The Princess donated the 8" of hair to Locks of Love.

What's your opinion? Would you be angry if your child came home from visiting someone - and had a drastically different look? Leave a comment with your thoughts - I can't wait to hear them.

xx,

Listerine Oral Care Challenge

2009-10-23T22:12:00.000-06:00

Note: This may be the longest review in history...but I hope you'll find it worth your time.

I remember being a teenager - and I brushed my teeth a lot. When I had braces, I remember even taking my toothbrush to school so I could brush after lunch. I was so self-conscious about everything at that age - and so boy crazy - that I wanted to give off the idea that I had nothing "unbecoming" about me. (Then I had kids...and now I'm lucky to grab a shower every other day. And we have burping contests.Yep, I've apparently come a long way, baby.)

For some reason, my two teenage boys don't feel like that. At all. Getting them to brush their teeth is...well...like pulling teeth. Especially since they got their braces.

My daughter is really good about it - and if it was up to her, we'd buy every product in the oral care aisle.

It was because of the lackluster interest of my boys, and my daughter's over enthusiasm, that I thought signing up for Mom Central's Listerine Oral Care Challenge would be a good idea. Like everything else, I wish I had known what I was getting myself into.

It has been two weeks of Agent Cool Blue staining my entire bathroom. (My boys found it fun to squirt their "mouth cooties" at each other after they've rinsed with Agent Cool Blue. And it doesn't come out of already-stained-off-white carpet so well.) The Princess thinks using Agent Cool Blue, the flosser, and Smart Rinse should be used every time she eats something...and will eat things just so she can use the items we received. Which sparked contests of who could come up with the worst tasting food to eat after brushing. (This is one way to get them to brush...and each citrus fruit. At least they didn't try anything but food.)

Listerine was very cool to send us a whole stash of awesome products. This is the loot we found in the box:

Above: Flosser and refills, dental floss, tooth stickers, a chart, and Reach Wonder Grip toothbrushes.

Above: Total Care (in Icy Mint and Cinnamint) and Reach Total Care Dental Floss Listerine Mint

Above: Agent Cool Blue (in Mint Shield and Berry Shield)

We all began with the Agent Cool Blue. Even though it's for kids, I wanted to try it - so I did.

Cute, I know

I can see why the kids love it - although it's a little too sweet for me (and I'm a sweets fanatic), it tastes good. And it is pretty cool to see your mouth cooties in the sink.

After rinsing with the Agent Cool Blue, your teeth are tinted with coloring - showing kids where they really need to brush. It's a great concept - and similar to the pink tablets the dentist used to give us when I was a kid. The difference? While Agent Cool Blue tints your teeth, it doesn't stain them (and your fingers, and your counter, and your...) permanently pink. Remember how awful those were? (They were cool, but that pink color took about 72 years to wear off - even if you brushed really well.)

We poured the Agent Cool Blue into cups (heaven forbid we all use the same bottle), and the kids toasted the beginning of the Listerine Oral Care Challenge. (If they say I "forced" cooperation or enthusiasm, I'll never admit it.)

The mouth cootie wars not yet thought of, the childebeasts swished and swished for the 30 seconds. I tempted them to continue on for the full 30 seconds by telling them the longer they swished, the more mouth cooties they'd see in the sink. Those mouth cooties would also be much bigger if they made it to the 30 second mark - because they'd get all the mouth cooties out that were hiding. (Ok, so the boys thought I was dumb - but the Princess totally believed it.) I also liked that the Agent Cool Blue worked so well for the brace-face boy beasts.

Although we are all a little big to be using the Wonder Grip toothbrushes, to give a fair review I talked everyone into using them. Granted, for some of us it was like sweeping the Grand Canyon with one of those little hand brooms...but we all managed to accomplish the job.

The kids had all used Agent Cool Blue in the past (see the comment about the Princess "needing" every product in the oral care aisle), but this was the first time I'd used it. I have to say my teeth felt smooth and clean after being thoroughly brushed...and all the blue tint removed...even though it took quite awhile with the tiny little toothbrush.

After brushing, the four subjects moved on to the dental floss portion of our experience. As I pulled out a length the purple floss for the boys and myself, one thing was immediately clear: this was a different kind of floss. Not sticky, like normal flosses; not waxy, like other flosses; it's light and springy. Stretchy. Pliable. And it has a pleasant Listerine taste.

One thing I don't like about dental floss is the way it makes my fingers sticky as I floss. The second thing I don't like is how floss seems to be either too thick - or too thin. I either have to force it between my teeth - or it slides through so easily that I cut my gums. The Reach Total Care Dental Floss, with Listerine Flavors, didn't leave my fingers sticky. And it was wonderful sliding through my teeth while being gentle on my gums. The flavor was good, too. It isn't often the boys and I agree on anything - but all three of us really liked this floss. The proof? They actually ask to floss now. Absolutely unheard of before this yummy purple floss entered our medicine cabinet.

Nice clear picture of the mouth wire...My photo skills ROCK!

The Princess got the Reach Access Flosser. She put up quite the fight for it - I don't know whether it was the idea of the Flosser or the pink color. Whatever it was, she wanted it...bad. And like with everything else, she got it. (You don't mess with the Princess, lest you pull back a bloody stump!) This implement actually worked really well for her...her small fingers can make flossing difficult - and the Reach Access Flosser alleviated that problem. The Flosser acts like a toothbrush - which makes flossing a lot easier for kids. Besides, she thought it was neat to get rid of the disposable head and put a new one on. (Of course now I have disposable heads all over my house...but I guess that isn't Reach's fault.) The part I liked the most? She has a metal spacer wire along her bottom teeth that makes flossing impossible. She can't get the floss down as far as she needs to with the wire in place - and since the wire is soldered to her back teeth, taking it out isn't really an option. The few times she's managed to floss correctly, the wire has actually come unsoldered, creating this projectile object in her mouth. The Reach Access Flosser makes it possible for her to floss without breaking the wire...SCHWING!

Finally, we were onto the last step. (Has anyone else noticed it's taken me longer to write this review as it did to actually use the products, make the kids behave, and take pictures??) We ended the same as we started - with swishing. The Princess and Wix used the Smart Rinse - while Evanator and I used the Listerine Total Care. We were all really happy with the mouthwashes. Before we started, this was the step I dreaded most.

To be honest, Listerine makes me gag. I feel like I'm rinsing with a hospital ward. I don't like it, don't buy it, and won't use it. Period. The Listerine Total Care changed my mind. I really liked the taste - gone is the harsh, hospital-like taste. I'm not gonna lie - it still burns like you're swishing with liquid fire.

The directions say to rinse for 30 seconds - and this could possibly be the longest 30 seconds of your life. Seriously! After the Agent Cool Blue, brushing with Crest Extra Whitening with Tartar Protection Gel Toothpaste, flossing with the Reach Access Flosser - or - the Reach Total Care Dental Floss with Listerine Flavors, your mouth feels clean. Really clean. Then rinsing and gargling with the Listerine Total Care finishes off the job. Your mouth will feel clean and fresh - and your breath will smell awesome. Not medicine-y like with normal Listerine - but really good. The Listerine site says their new Total Care line of mouthwash has these six benefits:

Helps Prevent Cavities
Restores Minerals to Enamel
Strengthens Teeth
Kills Bad Breath Germs
Freshens Breath
Fights Unsightly Plaque Above the Gum Line

I am really happy we participated in this review. It's changed the products I will buy in the future. I know you all were dying to know the secret hygiene habits of the Royal Family - and now you do. I will throw in one little tidbit: I never mention this, but I smoke. I'm trying to quit - but that hasn't happened completely - yet. As a smoker, my mouth never feels clean and sparkly. That wasn't the case after using these products over the last 2 weeks. I can honestly say that my mouth hasn't felt cleaner than it has since I began using the Listerine and Reach products we received - and as a huge bonus, my breath has never been fresher. Ever. I have to admit I'm a convert - and I have no doubt you will be, as well. If Wix and Evanator now go to brush their teeth on their own at night - and it isn't a knock-down-drag-out - something is working. All three of them now brush twice a day, using Agent Cool Blue and Listerine Total Care Mouthwash in Cinnamint. (I prefer the Icy Mint.) I like the extra cavity protection - and removing the teeth brushing arguments is a great thing. (Don't worry - they've found something else to argue about to fill that time space.) I have also found that talking to them in the morning has been much more pleasant - I no longer want to totally throw up from the smell of their breath. It's been a great change!

This picture cracks me up - is he showing me his teeth? Or is he a rabid dog??

I found that Listerine and Reach have some coupons for these products if you'd like to use them. You can also get more information about any of these products by clicking on the links. You've now earned a roll of gold stars for reading this far.

Listerine - Feel 100% Clean & Get a Healthier Mouth
Reach - A Cleaner, Healthier Mouth is Within Reach

My family and I were supplied with the Listerine products pictured above, in return for posting a review of these products. All opinions in this post belong to the Queen and are only that - opinions. I appreciate Mom Central giving me the opportunity to review these products.

UPrinting.com Sticker Giveaway

2009-10-19T13:28:00.002-06:00

I have so much to share with you all - but it seems like the more I have going on, the less time I have to flap my gums. I am going to try to be a posting fool this week - so stay tuned!

There are so many things I use labels and stickers for. From branding my business to getting the word out about my blog...sealing envelopes to making my contact information really "stick" with people (oh come on, it wasn't that bad...was it?), and labeling various things for the family to marking prices and other information on my items at craft fairs and swaps, I can always think of a reason I need stickers. If you haven't ever checked out the sticker printing done by UPrinting.com, you're really missing out. The range of shapes and sizes is enormous - and thinking about all the things I could have printed on them just makes me giddy. Then again, I can think of dozens of uses for all the products put out by UPrinting.com - just like I'm sure you can. Don't take my word for it - if you head over to UPrinting, you can see their insane variety of products and get more details. They make it really easy to to find just what you're looking for - so the problem isn't if you'll find something...it's more like how to buy everything you want - and still pay your mortgage. Good thing their prices are extremely reasonable!

Some of the ways I use stickers/labels - besides those I mentioned above?

Personally

Labeling lunches

Books

Providing a way for people to keep track of any change in our information

Sealing envelopes

Return address labels

CDs/Video games

"Tickets" for the childebeasts

Labeling shelves, boxes, drawers, etc

To/From on gifts

Professionally

Company contact information

Sealing envelopes

Ingredient/content list for art

To make gift certificates "official"

Stuck on gift cards

Expiration dates of perishable supplies

Labeling shelves, boxes, drawers, etc

Labeling the things I take to classes/gatherings, etc

Media used and a message on the back of canvasses

Promotions

I know you have a million uses for UPrinting.com stickers/labels of your own - and wish I would hurry up and just tell you how you can score 250 stickers/labels for yourself. Ok...pay attention! It's super easy to enter - but the instructions have to be followed or your entry doesn't count...and we don't want that!

** IF YOU WANT ALL YOUR CHANCES TO COUNT, PLEASE LEAVE A SEPARATE COMMENT FOR EACH ENTRY METHOD. **

To Enter:

~ One Entry: Leave a comment telling me what you would use 250 fantabulous stickers for. If your email address is not easily found on your blog - or you are blogless - please leave it in your comment. If I can't email you, you can't win. THIS MUST BE DONE FIRST - OR NO ADDITIONAL ENTRIES COUNT!

~ One Entry: Tweet about this contest (with a link to this post: http://bit.ly/3jCCxU) and leave a link to the Tweet in your comment.

Example (you may use this if you'd like):

The Queen Speaks is holding a great giveaway UPrinting.com sticker/label - enter here: http://bit.ly/3jCCxU

~ One entry: Post a link to this post (short link to use: http://bit.ly/3jCCxU) and a link to UPrinting.com on Facebook. Please leave your Facebook name in your comment.

~ One Entry: Leave a comment with one thing you've learned about UPrinting.com, and include a link to the page where the information is.

~ Three Entries: Blog about this giveaway. Be creative! In order to get three entries, you must include a link to this post on The Queen Speaks and UPrinting.com.

And the details/fine print:

Entry deadline is 11:59 MDT on October 26, 2009...Winner announced and emailed on October 27,2009.

Winner will be chosen via random draw done by the Princess. Winner has 24 hours to contact me once I have sent the congratulatory email. If there is no response after 24 hours, the Princess will choose an alternate winner. GOOD LUCK!

As a part of this giveaway, UPrinting.com is generously awarding me 250 stickers as well. And all I had to do was host this contest. Thanks, UPrinting.com!

We Have a Winnah!

2009-10-15T00:01:00.002-06:00

Well...does anyone even know I held a contest for 250 custom greeting cards, courtesy of UPrinting.com? If you've been in the know, you must be one of the few. Even after advertising it with a sticky at the top of my blog - and Tweeting about it several times - only seven of you entered. That's 7. What's up with that?? I thought this was a great contest! Didn't anyone want free cards? Free custom cards? Free custom, professionally printed greeting cards? I know I always need nice cards for something...and since my blog is mostly about art and parenting, I really thought this contest would be popular. But seven entries?? Do I need to start sending out checks in order to have friends...again??

For those fantastically awesome readers who did enter, thank you. Your odds were really good - and I wish I could award a prize to each of you. Since I can't, let me say this...I am going to be announcing not one, but two new contests in the next couple of days...so keep your eyes open. The upcoming prizes are exciting!

Oh wait - maybe I need to restate (what I thought was) the obvious...you guys do know that PRIZE means FREE, right? Just checkin'.

Random.org chose the winner - and although I would usually insert a drum roll here, I'm afraid the echo from my apparent lack of readers may injure someone's ears...and I need all the readers I can get for these next two contests.

Seriously... 7??

Lucky number six is...

Katie, Kevin and kids said...

I would like to make notecards to give as teacher gifts

Congratulations!! Thank you so much for participating in the giveaway, all seven of you. (Can you tell I'm a little bothered?) I'm off to email Katie, Kevin and kids right now - I really hope you like the cards. UPrinting.com does a superior job!

xx,

EC Droppers & Groovy Visitors

2009-10-03T01:36:00.006-06:00

I have some things to say about Entrecard, but I'll save that. Instead, I'd like to focus on some really great bloggers.

Today is a celebration - I want to thank everyone who has come by my blog in the last month...especially the awesome people who drop by consistently. I sincerely appreciate the kindness these bloggers have shown me - and I hope you take a few minutes to visit their blogs. September's Top Droppers include a wonderful variety of talented people, all of whom I am grateful to for making my lil' blog a part of their day.

Click on the icon to visit these great blogs

Ann's Snap Edit & Scrap

Duck and Wheel with String

Antique and Vintage Button Jewelry

A Rose By Name

WillOaks Studio

Theresa's Treasures

Entreblogger

Cen's Loft

Beaded Tail

My Gypsy Goods

If you aren't on this list, that doesn't mean I don't know you've made the effort to stumble through my ramblings. Whether this is your first time - or you visit enough to be royalty - big hugs and lots of positive energy are sent your way. Thank you for making my days brighter - and my load lighter.

Copper Tape, Pickle, Solder...Solutions?

2009-09-27T21:27:00.004-06:00

I have a question for all of you amazingly talented artists - especially those who have worked with solder.

I made a small pendant with 2 microscope slides, some little flowers I dried and ribbon I stamped. I covered the sides with copper tape. I thought I'd done a good job...until I went to solder.

Using Simply Swank solder, Blu-Glass flux and my soldering iron, I made nothing but a gigantic mess! The solder kept balling up, wouldn't lay correctly, kept sticking to my soldering iron (instead of the copper tape)...it was just a mess.

I've had the copper tape and the solder for a couple of years - and while I was using my bone folder to really stick it to the glass, parts of it wouldn't stick - and I noticed some fingerprints/gunk on it. Can copper tape go bad? Can flux?

I know that the metal needs to be really clean during soldering - but it seemed silly to pickle it. Should I have pickled the whole thing before soldering? Can you do that?

I don't know exactly what the issue was...but I know my soldering iron "broke". This was the first time I'd tried using this 40w iron - and no, I didn't use a regulator - but I tinned it and all that - but by the time I had gotten this far, the very tip of the iron "melted off", and I had to use the side of the iron barrel to get it to work. I've thrown out the iron and am going back to my Weller. I didn't use the Weller because I only have a stained glass tip for it - I haven't gotten any little pencil point tips for it.

Another question...how is using a torch for solder? I think that would totally melt the solder and you'd wind up with a different sort of mess...but I know people do it. What am I missing? Can I just use my butane torch that I have for PMC?

So many questions...so little information. Reading on the Net just gets me more confused.

On the up side? I used more of my dried flowers and some sea glass (and a copper ink pad) to make a darling pin. The light coming through the aqua sea glass really sets it off - but it was had to get a good picture.

Did you do anything creative this weekend? Why isn't anyone entering my contest? Why is my blog still a mess?

What's wrong with me?

A Sick Blog & UPrinting Custom Greeting Card Giveaway

2009-09-24T22:29:00.006-06:00

Oh no! Everything has gone bonkers with my blog - and it's a mystery to me. Thankfully, my blog buddy is helping me fix everything...so look out for things to be much better (and different!) soon. I'm sorry to everyone this has negatively affected - it's been a wild ride on this end, too! It would be cool to shoot Re some thanks - so why not stop by her blogs? As if you need a reason, you can also drop your EC there, too.
Mama ASID's EntrePOD
BadGal Says - TheSUSS
Recycled Frockery

And onto some fantastic news...UPrinting.com, a professional printing company, is sponsoring a splendiferous giveaway. Wanna know what makes this giveaway so special? It's for custom greeting cards - yes, professionally printed custom greeting cards. Woot!

Their printing service is rockin' - so much so that you just have to stop by and check it out. They really do a nice job...especially on greeting card printing.. You've got to check it out for yourself.

Aren't they great? Now...check out their custom greeting cards. They are simply amazing! I have so many great pictures and pieces of art I would love to have professionally printed by UPrinting.com. Their printing services make the difference between "oh - that's nice" and "WOW!".

So what do you have to do to win some of these awesome custom greeting cards? Well, UPrinting.com is incredibly generous - they are offering 250 5x7" CUSTOM GREETING CARDS. Unbelievable! The value of these babies is $96 - without shipping, which they are also kind enough to cover.

What are you waiting for? Oh yeah - you need to know how to enter. Simple...

* Leave me a comment telling me how you would use 250 5x7" custom printed greeting cards. Would they be your Christmas cards? Have a special picture you'd like to use for general correspondence? Flap your gums - I want to know how you'd put them to use! PLEASE leave your email address if it isn't prominently displayed on your blog or if you don't have a blog. (Mandatory for entry)
* Tweet about this giveaway - and leave me a separate comment with a link to your Tweet. Make sure you mention The Queen Speaks and UPrinting.com - and include a link to this post for your Tweet to count. This can be done once per day - just leave a comment with the link to each Tweet.
* For 3 extra entries, blog about this giveaway - and leave me 3 separate comments (one containing the link to your post). I'm sure your readers could use some delicious cards to send...so let them know! Write a post about this giveaway and link back to this post - and to UPrinting.com. I've included all 3 links to make this SUPER easy for you...

The Queen Speaks - A Great Giveaway!
UPrinting.com Greeting Cards
UPrinting.com Custom Greeting Cards

Hurry and get your entries in - this contest closes on October 14, 2009. The winner will be chosen by random.org - and I will announce their name on October 15, 2009 - as well as send the winner an email. The lucky person will have TWO days to get back in touch with me to collect their prize - or I'll move on to the second name on the list. The prize will be given in the form of a coupon, direct from UPrinting.com. Yay!

Thanks, UPrinting.com!

Wake Up Entrecard!

2009-09-20T14:31:00.010-06:00

Entrecard needs to wake up.

Today's post is in praise of RE_Ausetkmt's phenomenal post, Isn't it time We Started Dropping Smart instead of being Baited Harder, on Mama ASID's Entrepod blog.

I'm not going to gunk up this post with a bunch of jargon - all I'm going to say is that if you participate in Entrecard, RUN - do not walk - over to ENTREPOD. It delves much deeper into my original post regarding ECs virus problem, which originally came from Laane.

If those who run EC don't wake up soon, they are going to lose a lot of really good bloggers...and what will be left? The clickfarmers. Is that what EC is all about?

The next few weeks will tell everyone whether the new management team wants to really make EC great...or if a clickfarm (and money) is what they're all about. Hello, wanting more free space on blogs with the new referral widget.

If you're tired of getting viruses from those you drop on, tired of droppers just driving up your bounce rate, tired of the problems with EC being down and widgets acting up...and really want some positive change with EC, please point others to the Entrepod post. Just like everyone did with the paid ads debacle, we can get EC turned around.

If we make enough noise.

xx,

A Business Networking Idea

2009-09-18T02:15:00.002-06:00

I love the blog Lenox Knits. Paige, the owner, is very insightful and talented. And I'm not just saying that because she sent me a gorgeous scarf and headband - both of which I absolutely adore.

Once I read Paige's revealing post about the things she's learned regarding her business sales, I had an idea. I'm sure you all smelled the smoke. Ha ha

After looking over the states she has sold to, it dawned on her that a large portion of her business comes from one state in particular. Paige feels this is due to her contacts - and their referrals - live in that state.

This information made my brain start working...as much as it hurt and I tried to avoid it.

Has anyone ever thought of doing "card exchanges"?

For example, I live in Colorado. The southern part of Denver, right at the foothills of the beautiful Rocky Mountains. And it gets cold here in the winter. Not as frigid as it did when I was a kid (and I walked 5 miles - in the neck-deep snow - to and from school, uphill both ways, don't cha know) - because the winters have been more mild for the last few years. That doesn't mean we don't get cold temperatures and snow, though.

Lumberjack Chic - Handmade Orange Knitted Scarflette by Lenox Knits

To me, this is prime weather for Paige to sell her scarves. Not only are her items well-made and gorgeous times 10, the weather demands warm clothes. The problem is, Paige doesn't live in Colorado. Or the southern part of Denver, right at the foothills of the beautiful Rocky...I'm sure you get the point. And even though everyone I know around here uses the Internet, many people don't know about etsy or Artfire. So it doesn't matter how much advertising Paige does in those venues...or how well-made her items are...or how awesome her creations are. If people don't know where to find her - or that she even exists - she misses out on those possible sales.

Patchouli Bling Soaps by The Soap Seduction

Since I really like what Paige creates, and I can vouch for her high quality and timely shipping, wouldn't it make sense for me to trade business cards with Paige - so we both have access to a part of the population we wouldn't normally reach? I'm not talking about trading business cards and then being obligated to shove those cards in the hands and pockets of everyone you know locally. That would be in bad taste - and if there is one thing you should know about the Queen, I don't do things in bad taste. (I leave that to my childebeasts.) However, it would be handy to have a few cards to pass out to people when conversations about the cold weather, or winter clothing comes up. Don't you think?

Having some cards on hand of those artisans you admire - and are in a different niche from you - would not be competitive. It would, instead, be cooperative. We would, in effect, be furthering the handmade movement. Which is good for all artisans. Even if the people I hand Paige's card to don't purchase anything from her, they may find themselves in a situation where someone they know is interested.

Multi Colored Dyed Bombyx Silk Cocoons by Split Rock Ranch

I see it as another way of networking. What do you think? Would you be interested in furthering your business - and the business of other artisans - like this? Or does this method of networking strike you as inappropriate?

Emerald (Imit) Pendant - faceted imitation emerald oval, sterling silver pendant
by Gems by Jerri

I can't wait to hear your thoughts!

xx,

Bad EC, BAD!

2009-09-17T07:53:00.001-06:00

I'm sorry to those I usually drop on, but didn't get to yesterday. (It was one of those days...like many of my days...and when I tried to drop, all my cards kept saying "Thank You" - like I'd already dropped. sigh) I returned to my normal drop mode today - and was really upset to read this post.

According to Laane, an EC user planted a bug on the computers of people who visited their site to drop. This totally sucks. I have no idea who did it - or what site it is - and I'm apparently the only one who doesn't know. Since I didn't do many drops yesterday, I was out of the EC loop. (Then again, I'm not ever really "in" the EC "loop". Do I need to apply for that? Or did someone already decide not to let me in?)

I've always thought of EC users as a kind of "family". It takes a lot of time and dedication to drop - especially if you're dropping a couple hundred cards every day - so why would someone be vindictive enough to hurt the other members? Laane's post says:

I feel hurt by someone who plays games with other people. Someone suggested it's adware and the firm tries to make people to buy a scanner for 30 dollars to remove the bug. Well, I don't hasve 30 dollars at the moment, so they won't succeed anyway. And I don't like blackmailbugs.

She goes on to say she's not going to use EC on the laptop she's having to use until her regular computer is fixed. I don't blame her - but I feel badly she has to deal with all this.

If an EC member is doing this, they need to be disciplined

Does anyone know how many others are involved? I know at least one of you has to have the skinny on this - and even though I tend to drop on the same people every day, and I trust those people - now I'm kind of afraid to drop. I haven't read anything else about this on any other blog...have you?

You Want In?

2009-09-17T06:00:00.001-06:00

If you haven't visited Audrey's Country Crafts lately, you're missing out. She focuses on great giveaways and I doubt that craftista misses much. Any time I see an art-type giveaway, Audrey already has it covered on her blog. She's like the Harvey Levin of the art giveaway world.

Lately Miss Audrey has been yammering on about Christmas - a subject I'm not even remotely ready to discuss. As usual, she's on her game...posting a nice Christmas Postcard offer, and now an ornament swap.

I tried to resist using sheet royal power. That didn't work. I just didn't visit her page every day. That didn't work, either. I finally gave in and joined. I figured it would happen sooner or later.

The idea is extremely simple. You decide whether you want to swap one or two ornaments, where you want to ship (internationally or within your own country), and what you want to make - which, in my royal opinion, is the hardest part of the whole thing. There are so many fabulous ornament ideas, how can you decide which one to create?

Audrey is doing something else this Queen considers cool...when you sign up for the swap, Audreylicious is going to add your store/blog/site/whatever to the swap list - a little free advertising, if you will. Cool beans, huh?

How can you not want in? All you have to do is fill out a simple form...and as long as you know your name and address, can click a couple of radio buttons and then the "submit" button, you're all good.

Ornaments must be mailed by November 15 so everyone's new tree bling arrives for the holidays. So get on it...I know you want in!

Revisiting Third Grade

2009-09-14T00:01:00.004-06:00

Well, hasn't today started out sucky???? Other than to tell you that this is what I woke up to this morning, I'll spare you the gory details.

This will teach me to stay in bed for an afternoon.

My mom still thinks of me as a five year old. I don't mean that she remembers me with pigtails, I mean she literally thinks I am still five.

She still has everything I had or made as a baby or child, at her house. She knows I can't possibly be trusted with these mementos that have absolutely no value - except the sentimental value they have to me. She isn't interested in them - in fact, my stuff has been sitting in boxes (untouched and unopened) for probably 20 years. These aren't precious family heirlooms for goodness sake - they are things like the dog dish I made out of clay in fourth grade.

The childebeasts recently returned from my mother's house with a box. Ok, like ten copier paper sized boxes, most of them containing Christmas stuff she's getting rid of. (She redoes their twenty foot Christmas tree every couple of years - from the garland to the ornaments.) Everything Christmas was lovely (she has great taste) - but one box was really interesting to me. It had a bunch of stuff she decided I was...old enough? responsible enough?...to have. (This is just my guess, since we don't speak. At all.)

Going through the box was like going through a time machine. I found all sorts of interesting projects I had done as a kid. I had forgotten about most of them...but the memories came flooding back as I unwrapped the newsprint from each object.

It seems I was quite the art diva, even as a child. I'm not saying I was any good - I'm just saying I was evidently into art even when I was a kid. Who knew?

A Christmas ornament painted with flowers; 6th grade

A stained glass train; first grade

A bejeweled birdy; 6th grade

Girl Scout project - "Joy" Apple Ornament; 2nd grade

Clay dish with our dog's name on it (Cinder); 4th grade (I think)

And I saved these for last. They belong on Homemade Hilarity - a blog so worth your perusal! I have no idea what they are or what they could be.

Piece of wood, some sort of pod, fake little flowers poking out the top (that are broken) and...the creme-de-la-creme? A peach pit. Yes. I said a peach pit.

And just in case one whatever-the-hell-it-is wasn't enough, I made a semi-matching set. Apparently taking some artistic liberty, I replaced the peach pit with two sea shells - one upside down - and stabilized with Chinese Jacks, an '80s fave.

Don't know what I was thinking with those last two...but I hope they made you smile!

xx,

Life on a Saturday

2009-09-12T11:34:00.012-06:00

Things have certainly been...interesting around here. I first want to thank you all for your comments about me being a "Rotten Person". I sincerely appreciate your kind words and support. When I posted that I was ~~a little~~ very concerned I would be ousted from Blogland...and certainly be knocked off my post as Self-Appointed Queen. How wrong I was! You guys so rock...I can't even tell you how much I love you guys.

Second...We had a family tragedy a few days ago. My brother's wife's brother committed suicide. He was found in a hotel room. It's very sad - he was young, and leaves behind a wife and two kids. A quick prayer for this family would be most appreciated.

Onto blog bidniz...

While doing my blog hopping this morning, I visited My Welfare2Wealth. She has a great post up - one that every blogger should pay attention to. She's in the know about a great contest being run by John Smith. No, not the Pocahontas John Smith, silly - the John Smith from MoneyBush. I'll let Kenya, from My Welfare2Wealth fill you in:

Been trying to increase your backlinks and traffic to your blog? This small contest can help you to do that through Technorati

Just a couple of days ago, I ran across a contest that John Smith is running at his blog, Money Bush. He is starting what he calls a movement to increase blogger's backlinks by following a few simple steps. All you have to do is

Go to MoneyBush and copy the original, updated list of blogs, then create a post describing this movement with this list copied in.

Add the link of your blog to the bottom of the list

Go back to MoneyBush and comment here with your blog URL, to update the master list

Sit back and watch your backlinks increase tremendously via Technorati, as more people see the post and add their own blog.

Don't hesitate on this opportunity, the sooner you join this movement, the more backlinks you will receive!

So here is the list as of 09.12.09...

And John adds this suggestion at the bottom of the post: Don’t forget to promote this article via social networking and word of mouth.. It only means better results for yourself and everyone on the list. Those of you who want to increase your backlinks, hurry and sign up. Hope to see you on the list! Does this count as my good deed for the day? I'd like to go ahead and wipe that off my list of things to do.

Here...Hold My Purse

2009-09-12T00:01:00.003-06:00

Ok. Show of hands...how many people know that putting your lipstick and mascara in the freezer overnight will sterilize it?

Or dipping your lipstick in alcohol for 15 seconds - then wiping it with a tissue* - will sterilize it?

I didn't. But according to Dr Oz on Good Morning America this morning, both of these things work.

Apparently, you can get really sick from the things in your purse.

For example, I had no idea most people used a tissue more than once. (Ew.) Not only that, but a lot of women are guilty of sticking the used Kleenex back in their purse. (Gross.) This little beauty is left to fester in your purse, contaminating everything else you keep in there. (Throw those nasty used tissues away - they're like $0.03 each...you can buy more. I promise.)
And if your purse is anything like mine, you have everything - including the kitchen sink - in there. Seriously. I think I have gum wrappers from 1985 buried in there. Ok, probably closer to 1995. But still.

Dr Oz says it isn't an urban myth that there are traces of cocaine on most American currency. There are also traces of fecal material found in most purses. Even in the purses owned by those of us chronic hand washers. It comes from money. Maybe that would be a good drug deterrent? I know the idea of sniffing up some pooh does not appeal to me. In. The. Least.

Back to germs. Most germs can only survive on money for about an hour. That's gross - but not disgusting enough for me to stop using money. (Or wishing I had some.) However, that goes out the window if someone coughs or sneezes directly on the money. When those same germs are mixed with a bit of mucus, they can live for about 17 days. DAYS, people. That's...well, literally, sick!

I always knew money was dirty - but yuck. And I could have done without the 9-1-1 regarding purse grotiness. Seriously. I just wish this information was gross enough to my kids to keep them out of mine.

*: Please don't use those re-used tissues for this purpose. I beg you.

PS: Did you notice that wallet covered in bacon? It just proves not everything is better with bacon.

I Think I'm a Rotten Person

2009-09-11T09:14:00.003-06:00

I think I'm a terrible person. Really. I honestly think there is something wrong with me.

I can appreciate the sentimentality of today, 9/11. I understand the memorials, the remembrances, the special TV coverage. I also understand the importance of the day in ~~America's~~ history.

What I can't stand is to watch the scenes from that day played over and over. I just can't. Maybe I'm a wicked, evil person - but I just cannot make myself watch the television coverage, listen to the radio discussions, or read websites and blogs with dedications on them.

So I don't have a tribute for today. I don't even want to talk about it. And that makes me wonder if I'm a horrible person. Is it awful to want to think of happier things - to block being reminded of such despair? I think I should watch the ceremonies on TV...but I can't. I don't want to. I don't want to offend the people affected by that day, eight years ago. In a way, I think everyone was affected by that day. I just can't deal with the sadness - and don't want to be any part of it. I want to turn on a re-run of Golden Girls. That's much easier on the soul.

I want to know what you think. Does my aversion to things like this - whether it's not wanting to acknowledge or remember 9/11 - or it's my inability to watch one of those commercials put on by Animal Planet, featuring Sarah McLachlan, where they discuss abused animals - make me a bad person? What's your opinion?