the purest of treats

exercises in suffering

2012-02-12T00:01:00.001-05:00

Because

They’re not our cats. They’re my cats. You are never going to see them again.

2012-02-11T01:01:00.001-05:00

exercises in suffering

2012-02-10T00:01:00.001-05:00

Paolo and Francesca

Edmund Wilson’s marriage to Mary McCarthy

2012-02-09T00:01:00.001-05:00

was a mistake that neither side wanted to be first to admit. When they fought, he would retreat into his study and lock the door; she would set piles of paper on fire and try to push them under it.

Louis Menand

exercises in suffering

2012-02-08T00:01:00.001-05:00

Paolo and Francesca

There you lay, your small, white

2012-02-07T00:01:00.002-05:00

body throbbing in my hand
like a bird. We were silent.
The right word was not needed.

James Tate

exercises in suffering

2012-02-06T00:01:00.001-05:00

Jon J. Muth

Another Saturday night in front of my computer Googling girls from my middle-school class.

2012-02-05T00:01:00.002-05:00

exercises in suffering

2012-02-04T00:01:00.001-05:00

September 18, 1918

(847): I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend’s twin last night...and he didn’t stop me.

2012-02-03T00:01:00.001-05:00

(1-847): How was it?
(847): Fantastic, but that’s not the point.

textsfromlastnight

exercises in suffering

2012-02-02T00:01:00.002-05:00

on a motorcycle

My conversational French audio course has taken a dark turn.

2012-02-01T00:01:00.000-05:00

How would you ask her if she would like to drink something with you?

Est-ce que vous voudriez boire quelquechose avec moi, mademoiselle?

How does she correct you, saying “Not mademoiselle, madame”?

Pas mademoiselle. Madame.

Say “Sorry, ma’am.”

Pardon, madame.

Say “But would you like to drink something with me”?

Mais est-ce vous voudriez boire quelquechose avec moi?

How does she say “No thank you, sir”?

Non merci, monsieur.

Say “Not now.”

Pas maintenant.

How does she say “And not later”?

Et pas plus tard.

Ask “But at one o’clock, OK?”

Mais à une heure, d’accord?

She says “Not OK.”

Pas d’accord.

Ask “At two o’clock”?

Á deux heures?

She says “No thank you, I do NOT want to.”

Non merci, je ne veux pas.

Say “Later, at eight o’clock, OK?”

Plus tard, à huit heures, d’accord?

She says “No, sir. Not OK.”

Non, monsieur. Pas d’accord.

Say “Or at nine o’clock?”

Ou à neuf heures?

She answers “Absolutely not.”

Absoluement pas.

Ask “At what time?”

Á quel heure?

How does she answer “No, sir, I do NOT want to drink something with you?”

Non, monsieur, je ne veux pas boire quelquechose avec vous.

“Absolutely not.”

Absoluement pas.

Say “Oh, I understand now.”

Ah, je comprends maintenant.

She says “Very good, you understand now!”

Tres bien, vous comprenez maintenant!

Say “Yes, you don’t want to drink something with me.”

Oui, vous ne voulez pas boire quelquechose avec moi.

Say “But you would like to EAT something with me.”

Mais vous voudriez MANGER quelquechose avec moi.

Add “At the restaurant.”

Au restaurant.

Ask “At eight o’clock or at nine o’clock”?

Á huit heures ou à neuf heures?

She says “Not at one o’clock and not at two o’clock.”

Pas à une heure et pas à deux heures.

She adds for good measure “Not at eight o’clock and not at nine o’clock.”

Pas à huit heures et pas à neuf heures.

Ask “At what time”?

Á quel heure?

She says “You don’t understand, sir.”

Vous ne comprenez pas, monsieur.

Try to ask her “What don’t I understand?”

Qu’est-ce que je ne comprends pas?

She answers “You don’t understand French, sir!”

Vous ne comprenez pas le français, monsieur!