The Quaint Patchworker

One For My Virtual Friends

noreply@blogger.com (Quaintzy Patchez) — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 11:33:00 +0000

Not so heroic as to save me from a burning train. Not so sweet as sugar always. Not always together to hang out with. Thousands of miles away, yet close to heart... close knitted through a common messenger... Yes, these are my "virtual" friends. Friends who probably hardly knew what I even looked like, but that did not matter to them. Here I count all of them who gave me the acceptance and the love I did not get from real friends {which I did not have}. The names may be in random order - though they are grouped. I will write all of you, with a note of thanks.

Starting with....

Real Virtual friends
Friends in Reality, as well as virtuosity!

Arpit : Best Friend, school time classmate, who met me back through orkut. Heard me out, advised me, gave me the support in difficult times, when the world seemed to fall apart, he just sent his messages and somehow it was all good again... :) have not met him in nine years, but feels like I just met him yesterday...

Nivedita : College besty, worldly wise and lawyer-ly. Has keyed in more advice on messenger than talked to me at college. Has comforted me like a sister... I think i should miss you *winks*. Loadsa people keep asking me if I do...

Tarak (sir =P) : Techie, geek, hacker and cracker. Friend, guide, senior, mentor... Thank you for being there. The finer points of My/SQL were impossible without your slight push.

Ashish Pal Singh : A great, charming, debonair guy, with all the good qualities. Met you at the conference, treasure you (and you sis, who deserves a post too) for life.

Isha Pal Singh : A young, sweet, colourful and extremely helpful gal, cute to her blood vessels. Knew you were my friend when you sat next to me at WSRCC without reason - just to give company!

First among equals.
Those who met me first and I believe will "last"...

Jitendra : The first person to add me as friend on yahoo messenger, my first window to the world. You are a great person!

Nikunj : NITian, one of my first friends, wished me on my real birthday, and now has by-hearted my official one too.. thoughtful of you buddy...

Pallav Dutta : Another NITian - I wonder what the connection is... a rhymer by heart, engineer by head, a great friend by all means... treasure you "sweets".. lol.

Only lonely's
The only children of their parents, not unlike me. Gave me some space to speak, albeit in their communities and scrapbooks and messenger windows!

Ashish Chaudhary : Loads of Ashish's actually =P. The guy, who, like me was an only child since time immemorial, gave me strength, made me laugh with his long tales of misadventures. Funny and caring. When was your last email?

Smitha : Another only child. Shared my illusions. Shared memories (though few) but there was enough relief that there was someone of my kind around.

Now! This is a post!
Dedication to those who made a strong foundation for Now! This is a Community! A community formed by friends, for friends. No amount of jest hurt anyone here. And that is a rule in fact. And yes, they made sure I never had to moderate a discussion.

Lia : My adopted Chinese sister! Sweet gal with an awesome energy! Love you *hugs*!

Dennis : Immensely talented with words and though comes up with blood-curdling scary stories, he always makes me yawn. Something only my teachers have managed to do! Thank you for your comfort at an odd moment, when I needed it most.

Kalpesh a.k.a. Virus : Cribs about me not talking to him. Is usually online. Witty, humorous and well surfed (if not well read)! Always remembers to send me an IM. Sorry that I couldnt reply to so many.. you deserve this post! Dun forget your "bachchi".

Simarjeet : The coffee guy with a food joint. Mature, friendly, good humoured. You make great company dude. You are among the coolest!

Vikram (Vix sir) : Self proclaimed "teacher" who would ask us to keep track of our own presence. Witty, humorous and fun, you have made a difference to our community.

Hina : My friendly village neighbour with whom I sneak out of Vix sir's (next persons) class and then off we go to have Ramu Kaka's "golas" he makes specially for us.

DRJ and Incubus : I don't know why I write these names together (and worse! Why I am not writing their real names at all!). The reason, least being the fact that they both are loyal members who joined around the same time! And thank you for reading my first post Incubus.

Scorpios Rock!
Yes that is true, other than being the name of a community. The place where I found friends I couldn't find ANY match for....

Ashu : My sweet "Twinsy" (because we share our birthdays) - chirpy and colourful, a sweetheart... love you sooooo much!! *Mwah*

Sharat : Irish Babu, Indian Spirit. Buggy and sweet, a great friend by all means...

Shivangi : Usually at the background, never talked much to whom, still she wished I would be there at our Scorpio Rocks meet. I really missed it :(.

Miscellaneous.
Sorry people, didn't get a better title, just that you don't fall in any so-called "categories". Doesn't mean I love you any less!

Sanjeev : The try-hard flirto, who'd give anything to "patao" a gal.. :P. But you are quite sweet, wishing you all the very best.. for you know what!

Peyush : Looks like he has brains for everything, and mostly, a desire to communicate that. Your blog was insightful.

Sunil : The "Marathhi Mulga" in my friendlist, or the only such virtual friend. Keep sending those awesome emails, like all, you too have enriched life a lot!

Indrajit Guha : Ah well, what to say about him, is mostly "Under water". But has kept in touch. Like real virtual friends!

Ghatti chulbuli : Baby baby! What shall I say?? Funny to say the least, sweet and most innocent by far...

Purvang Zinzuwadia : Awesome name (last name - I really liked it since the mention of a Doctor Zinzuwadia on Radio Mirchi), a scorpio like me, has always admired my talent for ~~stealing~~ collecting images.

Journalists Incarnate
Unusual to find in real life, these "real-life" specimens needed a special mention... so do their blogs! Of course I have to thank orkut.

Rohan Dua : I wish you would have grown up a bit. You are still as naughty as a kid. Or are all journalist like this?? I think it is a part of your "journo-giri".

Robin Bansal a.k.a. Hector Incarnate : Didnt know journos could do some real life poetry... and lots of fun too!

Concluding, shortly!!
You people have, knowingly or unknowingly, affected me deep down, have changed my outlook towards life and shared much bottled up feelings... Love you all so very much!!

Special Mention
So people deserving the "real" attention of this post end.
There are still two names I would give a special mention to. Not so much of my friends though, they have taught me some vital lessons, albeit the hard way around. Too bad, it actually turned for the worse. Wish it would have ended in a better way, or better still - not ended at all....

Vaibhav : Who taught me it is not so bad after all to lose your gal... and....

Serjesh : Who taught me taught me to appreciate the fact better, that there is a real persona sitting beyond the virtual terminal through which he/she is keying in the words....

Indeed, these were people about whom I didn't write much, but deserve praise beyond words. I guess there are some concluding sentences to this post... Of course these friendships were not possible without an internet messenger. Thank you Yahoo! Gmail and Rediff. and of course a "platform" called "orkut". To their creators I bow... respect overflowing. And well, behind all this, one inanimate friend kept working for hours, beyond resource hungry processes, disk accesses and network transfers.. My PC. Love you too, wish you could see this and celebrate with me.

And lastly, I cannot end with saying, this post was slightly "late" in coming. Reasons are many, not the least being that Mr. Void published his before I did.. plagiarism is his copyright. Meet me someday, i'll fill up that void with lots of punches! *JK*

And ah.. this was a long post... i'm stretching out now... *yawn*

Fare Well!!

A Busy Platform!

noreply@blogger.com (Quaintzy Patchez) — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 11:31:00 +0000

When I speak of a platform and that too a busy one, most of you there will probably relate to a railway platform. And if not, then you probably wouldn't picture what I am talking about anyway! So keeping no suspense, I would tell you that I was talking about a platform for expressing your views and baring your personal life (which doesn't remain so personal once you make a blog out of it). Anyway, on with my post

Lots of people have been chiding me for not writing anything on my blog since ages. Not the least of them is "Digit Fastrack" - because this time around (or the previous issue, the date escapes my mind) they carried a fastrack on blogging. And our oh-so-loved Blogger was on the list of the most popular blogging sites. Yay for Blogger!

And the fact that I have a presentation due on September the ninth on Web 2.0, which, among other things, includes blogging has made me put some thought into the blogosphere (along with millions of individuals, who blog). Now when I first started blogging it was completely out of curiosity, and the exhilaration of the fact that I could write whatever I want, and a whole lot (technically the whole junta would be able to see it) . However, in spite of knowing why I started blogging, I now wonder why the hell I started it! For one, you must be one of the happiest of the crowd of the world, which in Punjabi is interpreted as "Vella" - an idle person, unless you earn with your blogging and are hell bent on it. And I am exactly not that. That accounts for the fact that my blogging (or rather, the lack of it) has drawn flak from my peers (people who peered at my blog after yawning, and yawned after peering at my blog through their browsers).

Anyway, that is still only in the game, for there are things I would rather tell you than keep with me. (Like how stupid you are, reading this blog - okay I was only kidding, after all, you can always write in the comments portion that I couldn't be more stupid, if I wrote for a stupid audience). I actually meant that if I do not share secrets (typical girl that I am!) I will only rest in pieces, and not in peace (let alone in one-piece). So Hooray! That makes just another post on my blog! And makes you just another reader...

Celebrate this mundane occasion while I ponder on the intricacies of the second version of the web. Fare Well!

Two Generations of Women - Reviewed

noreply@blogger.com (Quaintzy Patchez) — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 11:30:00 +0000

This is actually my second post. But since comments were not enabled on it, and I couldn't find out how to enable them, so I reposted it. And obviously and for obvious reasons I did not change anything in it. Comments invited!

Now before I commence with my second post (though I've started blabbering already!) I have a few people to thank. Yes, well guessed! Friends, acquaintances and total strangers, who read my blog (my first ever post) and gave their humble (and not-so-humble) comments on it. So continuing with my patchwork, I have more to write, though there isn't anything philosophical that is coming to my mind today.

My vacations started 2nd May. And if I quote a friend of mine (err.. another blogger) - "Vellagiri" (or Navrebaazi for my dear gujju friends) is "on full roll". Which in fact accounts for my Mom's thunderbolts (on her head) and cloudbursts (on my head). After all, mothers have to worry about their daughters not working in the house and wasting their time blogging. In their opinion (ohh, the word "their" is debatable, considering the fact that some mothers may be bloggers too, thus not being as opposed to blogging like my MommyDearest is but then its for all mothers who are against blogging) blogging wastes the precious time daughters could spend (which the daughters invariably read as "waste") keeping their rooms clean, learning to cook (for their ~~worse~~ better halves) and of course, by studying (to find a better half for whom they eventually have to cook). I do not know which one is done to get the other. The education to get the better half, the better half to get the cooking (eventually), or the education for cooking?

Murphy is so right when he says, "Mothers only offer advice on two occasions: when you want it and when you don't..."

Never mind mothers and daughters because in my opinion, mothers and daughters can and will do whatever they want, whenever they want and however they want. Guys (and men) will usually say a mother has a beautiful, mysterious and strange aura around her, but then that comes only because of the fact that no matter how hard a son tries, he cannot understand his mother better than she understands him. And then an equal and opposite reason lies behind the thunderbolts and cloudbursts between the mother and the daughter. A mother can never understand a daughter better than the daughter understands her mother. Feels strange? But that is true. A daughter actually understands her mother better than anyone else. And the "anyone", oddly enough, also encompasses the grandmother!

And guys have an even more hilarious interpretation of girls. In their opinion all girls are alike (so much like what we think about guys too!). Guys will unanimously agree that girls are nosy, troublesome, and expensive! Nuts aren't they? (This one from me, about guys). They invariably spot three items to prove their point. Phone bills from one milestone to another, dressing tables full of all kinds of creams (even if they don't know the difference between a fairness cream, a sunscreen and a vanishing cream) and purses and wardrobe full of jewellery and beauty-equipment (they can advice you to use a lipstick in place of a mascara - the effect is the same.. they will tell you). Yes, they are one of those not-so-chivalrous breed who will open a gal's purse to prove themselves right, to our utter annoyance. But then this is only the tip of the iceberg, there is more to guys than fun-making friends, rude brothers and boy-friends (need I say more about this breed of guys?). Because we gals are closest to our Dads than anyone else, and even if we don't know much about Dads, we can rely on them to tell them that we didn't do so well in the last college internal. We can easily be bratty in front of Dads and see out jewellery cravings being fulfilled!

But now please turn the spotlight on me! Yes, I detest creams and jewellery. Much to the annoyance of my mother and my aunts who want me to thread away the eyebrow (if you don't know "what" it is I can tell you "how" it is - painful), wear that flashy dress to the wedding, wear a better jeans to the college look fairer, and oh! Get slimmer! Hey, I need a break now... As such, you must be resenting turning the spotlight on me, as i look like no star, who needs a spotlight.

So please gimme a break. I have blabbered enough about mothers and daughters and earned enough wrath of my mother for blogging away the evening while I was supposed to add validation to the website I made for the company where I have this project.

Fare Well..!!

A Straight Face

noreply@blogger.com (Quaintzy Patchez) — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 11:27:00 +0000

Living now for the twenty first time
Another year left behin'
Family and friends, enemies, allies
Trophies of achievements, countless follies
Smiles sorrows, laughter 'n' grace
I look at them with a straight face...

Devoid of emotions, Empty of light
No soul to befriend, no foe to fight
No touch of love, no warmth of fire
Twist and toil, drag and tire
Yet i live in a rats race
Never running, always walking.. sensation less..
With a straight face

Bits of life, fly away
The wind that comes with fierce sway
I blink my eyes, I fold my hands
I walk away.. to my own errands
Life frowns, I return its gaze
She's surprised, I have a straight face!

I walk on thorns, eternal twilight, dead grass
as I walk past - the mirror cracks - shattering glass
it falls at my feet, my true face revealed
dead grey skin, you might as well have squealed....
but my lifeless image blinks... I stay unfazed
'Cause life has now left me forever..... straight faced :-|

The Trouble in Paradise....

noreply@blogger.com (Quaintzy Patchez) — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 11:26:00 +0000

17th Sept : Operations Research
18th Sept : Electronic Commerce
19th Sept : Enterprise Resource and Planning
20th Sept : Mass Communication.
21st Sept : Client Server Technology
22nd Sept : Management Information Systems
24th Sept : Neural Networks
25th Sept : Multimedia

I looked at the time table that had made way to my classmate's mobile phone - obviously missing my gaze - for the fifth time now. I read out the itinerary silently... Subjects that I could bear, those I would mess up and those I'd do "just OK". Which meant that I was going to be a five point something again... The figure that messed up my life last year after the results were announced; something I'd rather forget, when after being battered by Mom's nagging I lost almost all the confidence I had (which among other things, meant I couldn't share secrets with Mom - yes, take it all lightly, this could be worse, right?). Having a debate (which is usually heated - this was a usual debate, by the way) Mom finally said what she should have, long ago. "I don't care what grades you get..." and then "If you don't get you desired score, don't come back crying because you lost many opportunities by your five point something attitude." Of course the only politically correct answer was "I won't." Guess that ended it for then, while I heaved a sigh of relief...

One glance at my First Term exam time table (combined with the partial recall of the term's attendance) told me that 'Neural Networks' would be the most troublesome part of this appalling exam regime. Neural Networks (shortened to NN by our folks) is a subject that has its roots in mathematical models and talks about how the brain (or the neuron(s) - a tiny unit of out brain, more specifically) processes the information it gets as an input, and how to inject the same intelligence into the computers - or artificial neurons. But it is not the mathematical models that trouble me, what troubles me the number of lectures I missed due to oversleeping...

Ah! How how great it feels after fighting with my mother and to know that she doesn't care for the marks!! I can forgo this subject, of course not without foreboding... But then is study the only thing in my life? Will it be too bad if I, for once do not delve into the intricacies of The Brain (not the mind) and try concentrating on what I want? Like PHP?

But for now, I have to concentrate capturing my notes, strewn afar in discrete patches - inside one exclusive notebook for each subject... A Herculean task, which has to be done anyway. And what is life anyway? Without friends at the college, with enemies among the staff et al.... Though I make my life very secluded from the general fun everyone has, I guess I'm doing the right thing for now. Not that I'm being antisocial... I will help anyone who'd want it from me.. but some thing are my own to have.. Not the least of which is my own life. And though I help many, that does not mean they are obliged to be close to me and share their life with me, which applies to me too...

And your life has to be shared only among worthy friends and probably your better half :)

Exams are close, and my Internet hours are dwindling... that should be clear by the fact that I have come to the University's broadband cafe, instead of having Internet at home.. I shall not be here for a while, so this post should fill up the lengthening gap.. See you later!

Fare Well..!!

Eight facts of life...

noreply@blogger.com (Quaintzy Patchez) — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 11:24:00 +0000

Imagine you log in to your favourite messenger one cool December morning expecting offliners from that guy you have a crush on.. this old school friend of yours whom you met yesterday on facebook, or a morning wish from your brother who's online after an age.. and you are stared in the face by a really cryptic IM.. "Hey! You're tagged!" You fumble for a meaning.. "What exactly does that mean?" you ask yourself.. and when you fail to decrypt the message you ask your friend who broke that joyous news to you..

Uff!! You don't even know that it was a joyous news, which he seemed to have conveyed so excitedly to you.. Till he tells you what exactly that means, you run a search through your brain for all the instances registered for "tag" or "tagged". Your brain gives you a google trace of the search term. "Tag" was what you removed from the (then) new Jeans you bought from Big Bazaar last month, Tag Heuer was the watch you felt like stealing at the same mall.. You are a geek and you even know all the HTML tags, and you, thus, also know that Tagged.com is a social networking site affiliated to Yahoo! But you have not received another such jeans, the Tag watch nor have you got an award from the W3C for your HTML shenanigans nor a tagged.com invitation.. So what exactly has happened?! While you are scratching your head (assuming that its actually your brain you are scratching, running another google for "tags") your friend comes up with this - "Arey, look at my post!" He says.

You check out his post and find out that he has written a post called "8 facts of my life" and has gone about explaining that he had been "tagged" to write that post. So tagging someone means that a poor soul gets a tag around his (in case such as mine - her) neck to post on her blog THE eight facts of life she deems are public-private enough to appear on her blog... until the tag does not really become the noose they show in Hindi movies.

Huh?! You swear.. why exactly am I supposed to do that? Especially when your boss at the company you are having this training programme is pushing you for the wire frame of the website, you Mom wants you to renounce blogging, your ASP teacher has asked you to submit 3 super sized programs the next day (you in fact realize that it IS the day you are supposed to submit the programs - its twelve already), and last but not the least you must get an earthen pot for your sweetheart Aloe Vera plant your Dad is going to get you... You try swearing at the guy who wanted to ~~noose~~ tag you.. but aww he's so ________ cute! The blank is left here on purpose, you can substitute a word of your choice here.. which may (incidentally) be a curse... so that is solved.. but then swearing does not exactly excuse you from the tag.. you pick up the courage to refuse using a really cliched "pick up" (of course the pun is intended) line "What if I don't?" but you notice the grey dot on the chat window that pulls your collar and screams that he's offline.. with that there's an IM.. "Im going away for three weeks.. vacation" - now is when you are really jealous of his vacations... Now you cannot really know what happens if you don't really write that...

Its like a thunderbolt out of the blue.. "BOOM! You've been tagged!" that misses your chair by inches, where you had been sitting long.. the good news is you at least lifted your bum up to rush down to your PC and open blogger.. The persons who came here to see THE eight facts probably will scroll down all these lines and see those facts outright.. (You didn't did you?) Okay no finger pointing.. On with the eight facts

1. I am a girl.
Anyone who does not agree with that will have a REAL noose in their necks! A sub fact is that I am kidding (not about my Girl status OK?). Call me a young lady if you will, or an old frump if you wish, I still am a Girl.

2. Being a Girl, I feel strongly about Women's issues.
Whether its social, health or other, I feel women who are not aware need the proper guidance about them - from those who are and be empowered to be independent.

3. I am only 90% feminist.
Yes I feel about women's issues, but that does not make me a complete feminist - it does not make me a feminist at all in fact. And if you were wondering about the 10% instead of the relation of women's issues and being a feminist, the reason is that I love playing Tomb Raider.. and thus do not agree with the Feminist's ire on TR.. my favourite PC game. And the real reason is that rest 10% of my nature is lost in giving boys their much needed attention ..huh..? what are you thinking? I am totally into gender equality! Oops another fact!

4. I believe in following traffic laws.
Yes, I having a vehicle in a totally chaotic city.. Ahmedabad, try being unlike the rest of the public. By the way, if you haven't been anywhere close to Patchez' vicinity - I feel encouraged to tell you that there are only 2 ways of survival in Ahmedabad on the streets.. Follow all the rules.. or none.. Sometimes you want your conscience to get the worse of you :(
Therefore I do not cross the red light till it turns green, I wear a helmet and follow my speed limits.

5. I am only 0.5% geek and 100% nerd.
Unfortunately - geeks are usually considered Hackers and Nerds, are boring. I'm 0.5% intelligent, and 100% boring.

6. I hate speaking rudely.
But then again that's not what I do. Meaning not speaking rudely!

7. I love Dogs!
Yes, I really do, and dearly wish to keep a pet doggy, but the chances that Mom will stay in the same house (or it will remain the same house after this new family member [Mom's step child] arrives) are close to nil..

8. And finally this was my first Tag, and those who tag me will really receive a similar noose around their neck! BEWARE!

P.S. : I really adore this guy who tagged me and by the way.. I just spun a tale with my footloose tendencies.. hey Zed.. don't feel bad. The truth is that I really enjoyed writing this post! :P
P.P.S. Would anyone like to be tagged.. by me??

~ Fare Well!

Sone de Maa... It is that time of the year again

noreply@blogger.com (Quaintzy Patchez) — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 11:23:00 +0000

*Yaaaawn*

So is it that time of the year again? A time when winter is at its peak, when wind cheats your windcheater to give you a tickling cold surprise, when you eat a lot of Gajar ka Halwa, gain a few kgs, suddenly develop a semblance to Polar Bears in their caves - hibernating, and somebody tags you for the Year Post. It is January the first, the first day of a new year. A freezing midnight by the way, not morning yet. To tell you something, I don't really believe in the New Year spirit... No, no, I'm not completely cynic (only like 36%), it is just that I'm too much of a ~~busy~~ lazy bum to get out of the cosy covers and run around calling every other chum out there who's probably as much of a lazy bum as I am..

So well, this post is obviously late in coming... no I am not apologising, just finger pointing at my busy schedule for that ("He did it!"). This lady tagged me with a Year post so here I am, up with it. It will spill out some nonsense about me, but otherwise its just fine for idle slumps like me (and you) to read this post thinking there is something interesting out of it. I believe you won't, but since you have decided to read it (I assume you have because you have come this long) better get on with it.

Q:	What had you done in 2007 that you had never done before?
A:	Walked in a jungle :)
Q:	What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
A:	Guess it was the success in my year-end project :(
Q:	What do you wish you had done more of 2007?
A:	Letting go...
Q:	What song(s) will always remind you of 2007?
A:	Has to be "Evanecence's My Immortal" and "Jaane kya chaahe mann bawra"
Q:	What date from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory and why?
A:	The 16th of....... hehe.. ;)
Q:	What did you get really, really, really excited about?
A:	Oh! It was that trippy trip ;)
Q:	What was the best thing you got in 2007?
A:	The unabridged version of The Lord of The Rings :) (Oh I know I'm obsessed!)
Q:	What places did you visit this year?
A:	My Family extensions at Delhi and Thhane :P
Q:	What was the best book(s) you read in 2007?
A:	The Lord of The Rings, some of Premchand's short stories (in the middle of my finals!), and Jeffery Archer's. (Some more, too, I guess.)
Q:	What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
A:	Cut my cake at home and went out with Mom to Mc D's... I was 20.
Q:	What do you wish you had done less of in 2007?
A:	Anger, as usual...
Q:	What was/were your favourite film/s this year?
A:	Chak De, Pink Panther, Page 3, Dhoop. Right, they are old, but, come on, I never confessed to being a movie buff!
Q:	Who did you miss the most among relatives and friends?
A:	My besty who moved to Pune :(
Q:	What did you hate most about yourself this year?
A:	Being moody (cannot help if it is same as Manisha's) and being late to college.
Q:	Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?
A:	Telling a former virtual best friend all about my childhood.
Q:	If you could go back in time to any moment of 2007 and change something, what would that be?
A:	It was when in the state level debate I said "ubiquitous computing" instead of "computing everywhere" that made the judge ask me what the significance of ubiquitous computing was.. as expected, I did not know!
Q:	Did you do any act of benevolence this year?
A:	This year? Not really. Well in case it meant last year, I must have fed a dog, given up a seat... diminutive favours ;)

My 2008 wish list:

Learn some Ruby on Rails, PHP, MySQL and most of all Linux.
Have a beast of a machine for a laptop.
Become healthier. I'm (quite literally) sick of getting cold and breathing problems!
A little stronger (you know "as in" what).
You and me and others stay happy :)

And Yawwn! It was tedious to put it into an HTML table!

So a very Happy New Year to you!

Fare you well.. :)

My Way - No More Tags

noreply@blogger.com (Quaintzy Patchez) — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 11:23:00 +0000

Call it a parting tribute, a blatant refusal, Rudeness Inc., or running-away-from-circumstances, or whatever you wish. I have resolved not to entertain tags any more. I have following reasons.

Q:	Pick out a scar you have, and explain how you got it
A:	Uh? Yeah, I have a scar on my forehead, and I got it when I was three. I fell off the fence of our ground floor flat and landed (more specifically, the right side of my forehead) landed on our scooter..
Q:	What does your phone look like?
A:	The way a Nokia 1100 looks like.
Q:	What is on the walls of your bedroom?
A:	I don't have a bedroom of my own. :-\|
Q:	What is your current desktop picture?
A:
Q:	Do you believe in gay marriage?
A:	Eh? I have seen them happen...
Q:	What do you want more than anything right now?
A:	Rest!
Q:	Are your parents still together?
A:	Why?
Q:	What is your favorite perfume/cologne?
A:	I don't use them.
Q:	What are you listening to?
A:	Annie Lennox - Into The West
Q:	Do you get scared of the dark?
A:	You have to be when you go inside a forest, if you aren't afraid of dark, you should atleast be of tripping over...
Q:	Do you like pain killers?
A:	When the going gets tough, the tough take painkillers.. hehe
Q:	Are you too shy to ask someone out?
A:	Shy? Why should I ask anyone out, at all?
Q:	If you could eat anything right now, what would it be?
A:	Icecream?
Q:	Who was the last person who made you mad?
A:	My mother.
Q:	Who was the last person who made you smile?
A:	Can I count myself?
Q:	Is someone in love with you?
A:	Ask the person who is....
Q:	Now i tag :
A:	No one. Not being tagged is everyone's right..

Yep, those were the reasons why I will not entertain tags.. Most of those plagued by tags will agree with me, but for the others, I will say that I have a severe pain in my neck... though it is mostly due to the unergonomic design of my chair.

~Fare Well

Cookie Fortune! :)

noreply@blogger.com (Quaintzy Patchez) — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 11:19:00 +0000

Well, I know my story isn't coming anywhere soon [read until after my exams] but I cannot let the dry season (no reference to the Ahmedabad summers - better to the liquor prohibition) rule my blog at least. There isn't a single post in April, which is slow even by a big-time-procrastinator's [me!] standards. Mostly confusion has been ruling my life lately.. with parents/lecturers/friends/corporate bosses being very ~~mean~~ demanding to me, but those, I happily accept, are the occupational hazards of being a daughter/low-profile-college student/a friend/placement coordinator or representative.. respectively :|

See? We are coming to fortunes (I was tempted to precede it with a "mis" but that's for another day) meanwhile I have something interesting to share with you.. fortune cookies, or the cookie fortunes, if you will please. I read a bottom bar in Reader's Digest two days back about them. The writer, wittily pointed out "It's not enough for fortune cookies to tell you what you want to hear. These fortune cookies tell you what you need to hear" ;) which I find very true, here are some I'm listing down which I found from a few sources and hope you will agree, some are funny, some philosophical and rest, plain awesome :)

Here we go!

Laugh at yourself and you can always be amused. :)

When you pray for rain, carry an umbrella. [so right eh? :P]

He who goes with crabs learns to walk backwards. :P

From listening comes wisdom and from speaking comes repentance!! [very much!]

Don't be so humble, you're not so great.

Mud thrown is ground lost.

Conscience is the inner voice that tells us that someone's looking. :)

You often meet destiny on the road you take to avoid it.

If the beard were all, the goat might preach. :P

She who laughs, lasts. [Modified version of "He who laughs, lasts."]

You only think you know how to use chopsticks. [any testifiers to this?]

Yes you do have something between your teeth.

Someone will find great prosperity and happiness by stealing your identity.

The best time to study human nature is when you are alone. ;)

In times of danger, absence of body is better than presence of mind. [so true at times, at least I avoid confrontations by all means]

The world is your cow but you have to do the milking. [Here's mine - The world is your oyster but you have to do the diving!]

Time is the wisest counsellor. [By far the most famous one, but we all keep forgetting]

Shame fades in a morning but debts remain from day to day. [Did you pay your dues?]

To love deeply in one direction makes us more loving in others.

A good scare is worth more than good advice. [Sometimes very much so!]

A fox knows much but more he that catches him. ;)

He who angers you, conquers you. ;)

Life is so startling, it leaves little time for something else! [Ah darn! That's an everyday story]

Common sense is the set of prejudices acquired by age eighteen. [Right you are!]

If you live with cats, you get a taste for mice. ;)

All treasures of the world cannot bring back one lost moment. :(

Wit is the salt of the conversation.. not the food.. ;)

Fame is a magnifying glass.... :D [Are celebrities listening?]

You are strong enough to treasure love. [Okay this was more like something you want to hear, but the fact remains that you need strength to treasure love]

[And last but not the least is a quote by Longfellow]
The rays of happiness, like the rays of light, are colourless when unbroken.

And now please scroll up a bit and take a look at the right hand side of my blog, you should find a "Fortune Cookie" widget. If you have some more interesting cookie fortunes, do paste them in the comments section.. :)

Have a nice fortune today!

Fare you well!

A Glass Full at Kan-juice!

noreply@blogger.com (Quaintzy Patchez) — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 11:19:00 +0000

Yep, this one goes out to VM and Ud.. :)

So I think it's been no government secret (something everyone knows about anyway) that Glass Full is serving free* juices to Aapnu Amdavad's public. Especially since he's been whispering it to his friends {some of which happen to be women [heard of the next best means of communication after telephone and television, haven't you? Tell-a-woman?]} to come over at Glass Full and tell him how they liked the juices and mocktails they serve..

What? You don't know what Glass Full is? Ok. Here's a primer
1. Its the most popular link on the right hand side of Ahmedabad's one of the least popular blogs.
2. Its an example of what bankers do when they are not trying to stuff finance-plans down customers throats. [You'll come to know thats not the only thing]
3. Its a Juice junction.

Ever since the idea has taken shape [of a sexy, luscious, ~~wine~~ juice glass of Borosil] me and TDV have been trying to convince VM to rechristen Glass Full [an awesome idea by VM's buddy, Karan, but TDV, yours was ultimate] to Kan-juice, since that is the only name you can give to a juice junction run by a Sindhi (with original copyrights preserved), (I even tried to make him compromise to put this in the p.s. - since that's what smart junta looks for in a tag line.) but VM didn't quite agree :(
However he's pretty much made his intentions clear since the juice are free*. Its no longer the enterprise of a Kan-juice. So well, why exactly am I writing a "featured post" for Glass Full?

Reason is simple. I've been bribed! By a sea-cool, blue-lagoon smoothie, and hot sandwiches, served by, who else.. VM and Ud Themselves! Man, it made my day today, what with the scorching sun wanting to have a ~~sip~~ glass full too ;).

Glass Full celebrated its opening ceremony today. The counters are set, the backdrops have been [cut and] pasted, glass walls have been painted with delicious looking fruits... in short we're almost there, as I found out today - with two of my placement cell friends.

Glass Full - the juice junction is still in a Beta-stage... meaning they are still taking feedback from their ~~customers~~ visitors. Glass Full goes main stream from Thursday. The founders have created a blog [how web 2.0 wise!] where they list down their experiences, anxieties, ecstasies, hopes and nervousness while they made Glass Full a reality. If you cannot make it to the actual place please click the link and wish them good luck.. and if you ever visit Ahmedabad, do come over, I'll give you a treat there ;) - of course after Thursday.

For all my Amdavadi friends, here's where you should be rushing the moment you finish reading the blog..

Road Facing Ground Floor,
Galaxy Towers,
Next to Mr. Beans Café, Off CG Road,
Navrangpura.

See you at Glass Full! Fare you well!! :)

* free only for the next 3 days.
For my treat, conditions apply
For timing details please contact VM first. [back to top]

My Comic-al life. Alternatively, My Life in Comics

noreply@blogger.com (Quaintzy Patchez) — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 11:18:00 +0000

Alright, folks. You have always wanted to read my story, isn't it? By my story, I do not mean the worthless stories I write, I mean, my story. And my story means My Story :)

Heh, did you think I say you are interested in my story because I'm some wildly [in?]famous person? Luxuries like so are affordable only by people like Dawood and Osama, and their children's weddings :D

Well anyway so I say you want to learn about my story because you are curious. Curiosity is a very human trait. If you aren't human, do let me know ;) [alternatively, don't tell me you didn't want to read, you have to choice to press the close button on the browser title bar - hey, hey, hey, I'm not sulking, I have known people reading my blog. Its just that I would like to see someone close the browser by just the looks of my blog and pledge not to read it again]

Let's start with my childhood.

So here's my story - as told by minus.

I was a little, harmless kid, but nobody liked me.. *sob*

but then, I had this new, magical friend!

In my school, students would bully a timid me... I didn't raise a single squeak against them

But excuse me folks, minus and me have only a little difference, I had long hair when I was a kid.. she did not, I would look something like this way back then...

I would have said my childhood wasn't too worth living, but here's what they tell women "Your childhood may not be worth living but you must realize that it is now gone."

Alright, I did not want to sound too "emo" here. Let us see if there are other comic characters who agree to speak my life?

Here's why I like Garfield :)
He's lazy, he's cuddly, he's witty. He has no work to do but to eat sleep and meow. Life in a slow lane is exactly what I love to have.

I'm usually a laid back, quiet person at home and the only worthwhile work I do is Energy Conservation

But I can be a fatal trouble if I wish

Sometimes I can be creative, but the world doesn't like me too much

But that does not stop me from having fun.

Not that it always works out :(

A lover of sleep more than anything else

Sarcastic? Oh, definitely!

But that doesn't mean I don't have a heart....

I am as unlucky as the Murphy's laws predict!

Yet I am dignified!

Nerd, at times.

But that doesn't mean there aren't people worse than me... (Bonus Garfield and Ed Series!)

Sometimes an experience with someone else's tragic lives can leave you deeply moved!

No wait, they are only better

Here's another beautiful comic I love - Who else, Winne the Pooh and Friends!

Helpful and cheerful like Tigger..

Optimist

A little grumpy, but witty at the same time

I have a very interesting voice!

And I'll lift up your spirits, dear friend.. even if it means I'll have to act stupid.

Sure I can be emo at times

Well, not quite this emo

And...
There are things I have learned the hard way in life, courtesy of Little Dog, Lost (Because I identify with the last word specially.. not sure about the first two)

Some people sulk.

And...

Need I say anything...

Hope you folks had a laugh. I could have said that was all about me. Except for these parting words.

I shall remain a loner forever

Finally

I shall put a smile on the face of every person I meet, but I shall be gone from the face of this earth soon and never claim any credit for that.

Fare you well, my friend. Fare you well, my foe!

Fare you well, dear visitor!

Something Amiss

noreply@blogger.com (Quaintzy Patchez) — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 11:18:00 +0000

Lush greens,

A fantasy book in my lap,

the feel of the wild winds on my face, playing with my hair..

The air of those high hills,

The acrid salty ocean

The gentle shade of trees,

The sand in my toes,

Soil all over my clothes,

The many-hued plump clouds,

The black enveloping night,

A million stars never seen.

Tales from the jungles

Conversations with myself..

The songs in my heart

A million fluttering dreams...

Old Paper. Old Drawing.

noreply@blogger.com (Quaintzy Patchez) — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 11:13:00 +0000

Somebody asked me if this was my self portrait. It might be, but I'm not sure which side I am on.

I left drawing a long time back now. I do not know if I will ever draw again. You were probably the last witness of this, dear friend. Now you do not remain either.

This work is dedicated to the Public Domain.

However the request remains : Please do not modify this work at all to offend and/or threaten and/or hurt someone. It is not necessary to give a link back to my blog it would make me happy if you do.

Rain dance...

noreply@blogger.com (Quaintzy Patchez) — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 11:12:00 +0000

Grey skies, heavens silent
Lightning, thunder, cloudy torrent.
Seeping cool, spreading winds,
A pitter-patter, lightly sings.

Tickly drops, glistening earth
A warm scent, a cold hearth
A palm I spread, to let the drops
Drizzle past me, as all sound stops

My weathered griefs, my old woes
Despondence deep, dark sorrows,

Oh mighty rain, wash me clean,
Rinse me off my memories harsh
Let me blossom, unfurling petals,
Lotus of a mucky marsh!

Wash me clean of fading hopes
Of world's confines, stifling ropes

Lift me high, drowned in trance
Dreams alight, thoughts prance
Wash me off my weathered self,
A free woman, in a Wild dance...
A free woman, in a Wild dance...

Just the sort of thoughts the Rain brings in :-)

Rain, Sky, Winne the Pooh and IP

noreply@blogger.com (Quaintzy Patchez) — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 11:11:00 +0000

So Rain has just lifted the veil off her face and bestowed Her beautiful presence on us...

Leaves after the rainfall

Coloured cloud images

See the rainbow colours somewhere?

IP (Image Processing) exam on Monday!!
Contrast increase to show the Aurora colours of the clouds...

I was watching Winnie the Pooh, the other day, where Eyeore sat gloomy at the top a cliff and everyone tried to make him happy... when all of their attempts failed, an affectionate Eyeore told them that he doesnt come to the cliff because he's sad but he comes there because he's happy, and he shows them just then how all the coloured clouds blend into each other after a rainfall... Since the show was dubbed in Hindi he said "देखो.. इसे कहते हैं बादल रंगना.." What followed was a beautiful animation of clouds mixing into each other. It has kind of become imprinted on my mind since childhood :)

I was able to watch this last evening! Only Eyeore though, no friends :(

Image Enhancement, to show a purple streak

I hope my former Image Processing teacher sees this! She would love it :) and I might stand a chance of some more marks :)

Regarding images:
Although all these images are original shots with my Sony Cybershot DSC S650, I release them all under Creative Commons Public Domain

This work is dedicated to the Public Domain.

Some Pictures

noreply@blogger.com (Quaintzy Patchez) — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 11:10:00 +0000

The last post got lost... so well I am posting the pictures again..

Raindrops on Neem leaves

Coloured Clouds

Colour Enhancement done (to show contrast)

May your blessings fall on us in the moments of strife like sun rays from beyond a dark cloud

Colour Enhancement done

More Coloured Clouds

Streak of Purple

Colour Enhancement done

Although all these images are original shots from my Sony Cybershot DSC S650 you are free to share these images, copy them to your blog (yes, no lawsuits i you steal them!), create derivatives (and any heck you want, seriously). But the request remains, use it for good :)

This work is dedicated to the Public Domain.

Here is the full text of the Public Domain dedication. You don't need to understand any of it ;) just copy and freely share the work and tell me if you like it ;) or anyone else! :P

This is a record of a Public Domain Dedication.

On September 19, 2008, Prachi Mantri dedicated to the public domain the work "Raindrops, Clouds." Before making the dedication, Prachi Mantri represented that Prachi Mantri owned all copyrights in the work. By making the dedication, Prachi Mantri made an overt act of relinquishment in perpetuity of all present and future rights under copyright law, whether vested or contingent, in "Raindrops, Clouds."

Prachi Mantri understands that such relinquishment of all rights includes the relinquishment of all rights to enforce (by lawsuit or otherwise) those copyrights in the Work. Prachi Mantri recognizes that, once placed in the public domain, "Raindrops, Clouds" may be freely reproduced, distributed, transmitted, used, modified, built upon, or otherwise exploited by anyone for any purpose, commercial or non-commercial, and in any way, including by methods that have not yet been invented or conceived.

For more information, please see
<http://creativecommons.org/licenses/publicdomain/>.

Deepavali Public Service Announcement.

noreply@blogger.com (Quaintzy Patchez) — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 11:10:00 +0000

Dear Blog readers, non-readers, subscribers, family, friends, enemies, others and anonymouses.. (this is supposed to be a public service announcement after all -.-)

I did notice that owing to all your page loads my blog hits _did_ more than increase but to reduce them I have had to take a small break, what better time than Diwali vacations?! =] Actually I also understand you must all be really eager to remain absent around the time I distribute the awards. But right now, I'm busy _creating_ them. '^.^ *whew*

If you haven't yet been awarded before, just like most awards are made up of gold/metal/wood the awards in the free (as in free beer) blogging world are made up of their cheaper digital counterparts called images (pictures), which owing to some good colour depth can replicate most colours available in this world.. or pretty much so. So I'm busy creating some generic images that you all can copy and paste on your blogs...

Meanwhile,

Don't light crackers,
don't buy too much mithai,
don't gamble,
don't buy too much gold,
don't wear new clothes,
and inspite of that
Have a
Happy Diwali!

Oh I almost forgot in that wish, don't follow my advice.

आपको दीवाली मुबारक हो!*

*certain corporates may read that as: दीवाला मुबारक हो

Published in public interest by and on http://thequaintpatchworker.blogspot.com

Of Roofs, Ceilings and Skies...

noreply@blogger.com (Quaintzy Patchez) — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 11:09:00 +0000

Hi there!
How have you been?
What's up?

Something everyone's been asking me, especially when everything is down... No, no more on it. Let's come to the point.. The point is how do you answer (is everything, with you, like me, also down? If it is, you should do what I am doing, write a blog post, lol) this "What's up?". If you have become tired of answering "roof", "ceiling" and "sky" or "stars" or even the dreaded "nothing" (Imagine, having _nothing_ over you! Not even sky!) and feel, you are at a loss of words, here are a few silly suggestions. Don't worry too much about the answers being silly, the *question* is silly to start with! Here we go, what do you answer when

On a beach?

Q. What's up?
A. Surf's up! 8)

Happy hours?

Q. What's up?
A. Bottoms up! 0.O ())-(

Chasing a deadline, rather hopelessly?

Q. What's up?
A. Time's up! O-Z-<

Police?

Q. What's up?
A. Hands up! |o|

Going for a party?

Q. What's up?
A. Make up. 8)

Congratulating someone?

Q. What's up?
A. Thumbs up. @}-`-

Hehe... enjoying? Here's more (If you haven't been, I suggest you do this)

Blogging?

Q. What's up?
A. Write up.

Refreshments?

Q. What's up?
A. Tea cup! ~O)

Q. What's up?
A. Coffee cup! (For coffee fans)

This reminds me of work...

Spreadsheets?

Q. What's up?
A. Look up. :-)x

Averages?

Q. What's up?
A. Round up!

Police again?

Q. What's up?
A. Lock up!

All confused with so many "ups"?

Q. What's up?
A. Mix-up!

Well a silly thing to pass time, you know after all, most things done to pass time are silly - or nerdy.

Enough up's already? Maybe our conversation will be something like this..

Me: What's up?
You: Shut up! :|

Well, if not, suggest some more, the comments section is all (well, mostly) yours!

p.s.
Emoticon Info:

0.O
())-(
Drunk, user is having wine

O-Z-<
in a hurry

|o|
you said it, hands up

@}-`-
yes, rose :)

Gone to Dogs

noreply@blogger.com (Quaintzy Patchez) — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 11:09:00 +0000

Ahem. It is a controversial title, if your minds are, ahem, twisted.

How many of you like dogs? I sure do... So, even though Mom will never allow me to keep one, here's something of a wishlist. Or un-wish list. But how do you decide on one?

Here are the most famous choices and why you should avoid them.

Celebrity dogs?

A big no no. Well, I don't have anything against celebrities or their obsession with Chihuahuas (hua hua hua!!!), but they are awfully small for being canines.. imagine, you spend a fortune on a brown furry creature of a dog and you have to keep away the neighbours cat because he keeps chasing it.. :|

I sympathise with the large grey wolf of a dog who must be thinking about Liv Tyler's pooch having a day while he might get none. Only I was thinking how many of you guys would sympathise with this man at the back.

~~Hutch~~ Vodafone ka kutta?

No please, don't. Spare it the torture. Moreover they can't follow you to your grave. The most peculiar thing - had they not barked, I would have (mis)taken them for hogs. By the way, it is always good to drive carefully and not use cellphones while driving.

Here's the so far most famous breed of dog that I have found in every other household - A Pomeranian. If they wouldn't have barked, I would for sure have mistaken them for hairy, showy lolcats...

Labradors are, hush-puppy-cute, absolutely, tail-waggily obedient, but chances are the dog-agent has given you a lab mix and the neighbour's pure-bred is too sick to even wag his tail. If some of our ancestors hadn't had the dogged determination to raise these "pure-breds" just for their looks, this option would have, well, perhaps been an option still.

That leaves only two sane choices for you.

a) An Alsatian/German Shepherd
If they would not have barked, I would have just thought they were overgrown wolves with a little more fur. Ahem, only unlike wolves, they listen to you. They are just as scary though. So in case you _do_ want to scare people, they are your partners in crime! Give them a chance and they'd pounce on a nosy neighbour - or her cat who chased Chihuahuas.

b) This choice, is well, we had it coming anyway, Stray dogs.
Here's why you can go for them
1. They are everywhere - you just have to pick them up when they are still puppies. Just make sure you feed the mother well before you wean the puppy off her. (You meanies! It was not for bribing their mom, it was so that the puppies grow healthy with their moms milk, have a heart!)
2. Need food twice a day, water and a place to stretch.
3. Just the injections enough not to cause you rabbies.
4. If they would not have barked, I'd still have thought they were dogs!
5. You don't have to take care of them, they take care of you, sometimes, remember the neighbour and his cat?.
6. They do not need diamond crusted collars to match their repute.
7. They might as well follow you to your grave. (Remember Teri Meherbaaniyaan?)

Well, that's all for now, from me. My besty says "Dogs should be petted and cared for.
All dogs are men* after all."

But don't you fret! She keeps barking most of the time...

*She might have meant humans, but who knows.

Seven Ways You Can Tell if She is Clichéd

noreply@blogger.com (Quaintzy Patchez) — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 11:00:00 +0000

Have you heard of "Femalecliche"? Out of like 30 Global Personality Traits, including Artistic, Self absorbed, Paranoia, Thrifty and Peter Pan Complex is the Femalecliche and if you don't know what that link means about Femalecliche, I'd tell you. Albeit in a more practical manner. Here's what would happen to you if you were with a Femalecliche.

p.s. The names are completely arbitrary and have no resemblance to anyone in my past/present/future life.

Situation # 1:
You are a guy. You sit next to her at work.

Event:
She pulls your shirt while you are working on the associative search algorithm and screams, "Ashish!". You almost fall out of the chair. No its not the pull; her long nails pierce your arm. When you somewhat recover, and only by a small margin save yourself from falling, she says this: "How do you like this Lakme nailpolish?". It a shade of the toxin you saw being dumped in the river yesterday. You mumble something like "Uhm, oh yea, nice." And she says "So sweet! You know? I just bought this yesterday at the mall!"

Situation # 2:
You are a guy. You go to a party. She knows you.

Event:
She suddenly spots you, corners you and throws her babydoll-clad form over you. "Heeeeyyyyy, Sunny! Its so fantastic to see you here! How are you? Oh, you've become slimmer.." And without waiting for an answer, she purrs.. "Haah, now will you hold this for a moment?" She hands you her handbag and totters off grinning, while you wonder why it is called a 'handbag' because not only doesn't it fit in _her_ tiny birdlike hands, but it doesn't fit in yours either!
The 'moment' stretches unusually long and you have to stay there an hour clutching her aching handbag and rest of the night clutching your aching hand. She says when she returns "Oh, thanks, Sunny! Was it troublesome? No? So sweet!" and totters off taking her handbag with her. (Did you peek into her handbag? It was full of cosmetics in case you didn't!)

Situation # 3:
You plan an excursion to a nature spot.

Event
She turns up on that day with a tight fitting dark capri a red halter and pencil heeled shoes.
What? You need explanations? She's clearly not allowed in a forest with clothes that attract attention from birds and animals. And pencil heels? She doesn't own sports shoes, or if she does she doesn't know the use!

Situation # 4
You are a college student. It doesn't matter if you are a guy or a gal. The Femalecliche of a college is as famous as a scandalous story on a TRP-crazy news channel.

Event
She enters with her girl friends fussing about her, and everybody they can fuss about and has a rumoured guy for sure (no oxymoron, this). This is the thing about these Femalecliches. Whether or not they have a guy they will definitely have a rumoured-to-be-her-guy. The worse thing is the people who follow these Femalecliches.. remember the scandalous story and the TRP-crazy news channel, connection? These are the news channels..

Situation # 5
You are girl. You prefer anonymity to popularity. Femalecliche knows you.

Event
You, my sister, are at the highest risk of being affected by this Femalecliche. Psychologically and emotionally, you will be worst hit by these Femalecliches! Let alone femalecliches, you will perhaps be at the receiving end of the wrath of the majority of feminine world for your "small-town-girl" ways.

And now since I have called you my sister, I will give you this tiny tid-bit of advice you would need when you have a Femalecliche around you.
Firstly, there are two kinds of Femalecliches (and you thought they were all same!).
The first one will corner you, make you sit comfortably in private and speak to you very sweetly.
The other will corner you, make you stand uncomfortably in public and simply be bland and rude.
However, my dear sister, both of them serve the same purpose - to turn you into one of their kind and to severly injure your quiet Lioness-pride.

When you have one around, just pretend you are hearing and forget whatever they say in less than a moment. Femalecliches rely on two victims: the weak and the simple. They will constantly tell you how weird you look with that full sleeved top (what else would you wear in winters?), how you are so unpopular (you should perhaps pity her because she does not know what Anonymous means - they seek solitude), how you will never get a boyfriend (as if all you want in this whole wide world (www!) of joys, is a boyfriend!).
Prevention is better than cure. You better stay away from one. Run, just Run.

Situation # 6
She goes to a friend's wedding.

Event
You mistake her for the bride.

Situation # 7
You are a guy. You fall for her. And after many days of preparation, you finally make up your mind to 'tell her'.

~~Event~~ Disaster
She introduces you to her Rumoured-to-be-Event no 4.

Issued in public interest of her fellow people by Quaintzy Patchez.

Run, Baby. Run.

Nostalgia is not what it used to be.

noreply@blogger.com (Quaintzy Patchez) — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 11:00:00 +0000

An occupational hazard of multitasking is, I forget what I did a few minutes back. Birthdays I wished, hellos I spoke, code I wrote and what my Project Manager asked me to do. If, with little practice, I am able to achieve this, with a little more practice, I will be able to do away with all of my childhood memories!

Cheers to death! *

*copyrights do not apply. Use freely.

If it looks like a glass of wine...

noreply@blogger.com (Quaintzy Patchez) — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 11:00:00 +0000

Two Kinds of Children

noreply@blogger.com (Quaintzy Patchez) — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 10:59:00 +0000

There are two kinds of children.

One, which you can scold and beat up; and when they grow up, they turn out to be timid and insecure.

And then there is the other kind who you can scold and beat up; and when they grow up, they still turn out to be bold and unruffled.

If you meet someone very shy and silent. You know are meeting the second kind.

A Little Help Goes A Long Way

noreply@blogger.com (Quaintzy Patchez) — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 10:59:00 +0000

As Raghu sipped his ice tea, a beggar came and stood right in front of him, her palm outstretched. She had a melancholy expression on her face. A disturbed Raghu gaped at her while she stood there like a painting - motionless. Sumitra glanced at the beggar, and then at Raghu. For a moment she felt disgusted at the way they both looked - sad and melancholy. In another word, similar. Raghu felt the same feelings for the beggar the beggar felt for herself, she thought. Pity. Then she decided it was better to be amused at this comparison, than be disgusted with it. She ignored them both and kept sipping her ice tea, on the whole, unimpressed by the entire incident.

Meanwhile Raghu got up, and rummaged his backpockets for a few coins. He took out a few. They were either five-rupee coins or two-rupee ones. He was about to drop the two-rupee coin in the beggars 'katora', when Sumitra objected.
"Two rupees?" She said. "That is two much.. pun intended.." All this while, she stared at the beggars 'katora'. It had a few coins that she had gathered from other generous souls.

Raghu couldn't get the pun, of course. He felt rather annoyed with her money mindedness, but, to avoid an argument, he said "I don't have a one-rupee coin."
"Alright." Sumitra said, and sipped her tea, appearing appropriately disinterested, while Raghu dropped the two-rupee coin in the beggar's palm. The beggar had only begun to bless Raghu when Sumitra's hand leapt forward and took a rupee coin out of the katora.

"Sumi! What was that?" Raghu shouted. "Keep that rupee coin back, now!"
The beggar, Sumitra saw, from a corner of her eye, was too perplexed to talk. "Alright, Rags. I was going to keep it back anyway. I thought you wanted to give, only a rupee."
"You are heartless!" Raghu said, in a voice heavy with scorn.
"Right." she said, as if he'd made an obvious remark on the weather and kept the coin back. The beggar went away without giving a blessing, perhaps, thought Raghu, to avoid losing more coins.

Throughout the next half hour, Raghu didn't speak to Sumitra. They had always had their share of arguments. Sumitra was the same. Sarcastic and cynical. Raghu found it rude. He was also disgusted with the way she was outspoken about drinking and non-veg food. But they remained friends because they found no other way of ending their arguments. He especially hated it when Sumitra slipped into her "You are so naive" mood. That was all she said. She had to disagree with every other act of kindness he did.

"Should I drop you somewhere?" Sumitra asked and took out fifteen rupees from her wallet.
"Keep the money with you. And no, I will go on my own."
Sumitra kept quiet for a moment then said "Take the money, at least."
"So that you can take it back?" Raghu said, with a wicked smile, satisfied he could turn sarcasm against her.
"Look, if you shout the way you did half an hour back, I will drop it back in your ka... pocket." Sumitra replied.
Raghu was aghast. You couldn't keep up with a sarcastic girl, he thought. "No thanks." He said and walked away to the cash counter. The man at the counter smiled with the satisfaction of a job well done.

After a brief goodbye, Raghu went away to the bus stop to catch a bus back home. As soon as he had left the tea shop, he forgot all about the episode.

The bus got really crowded a few stops from where Raghu had boarded it. There were a lot of people jostling and pushing each other for space. There was a woman too, holding a child, not more than a year in age. Raghu felt strange. Of all the men in the bus none would actually get up and offer her a seat. And the women, were perhaps all like Sumi too, he thought. Heartless. Raghu got up from his seat. He knew what Sumi would feel. He shouldn't have given up his seat like this. But Raghu did what he felt was right. Sumi would have laughed. Not a natural laugh, which he hadn't heard from her in their five years of college, anyway, but a smirk. Sometimes she just smiled. And upon being asked why she thought it appropriate to smile like that, she explained, "I was being sarcastic."

"Oh my God! Can this girl ever, ever, think out of her sarcastic box?" Raghu would lament mockingly. Sumi only smiled more. She was once very kind, he thought, to explain him that she did not trust these people he called 'poor'. Whether in terms of money or ability. For example, beggars could, instead, do some work and earn more than they earned on the streets, and some self respect. However, she had said immediately, "I would excuse them if they begged in a Mumbai local train. They would get more than anything they would get on the streets, here."

Raghu thought, till some time back that only the rich ever spoke like this. But he was surprised to discover that Sumi herself was a girl of limited means. Not that she came from a poor family, but decided to spend little on anything she did not need. Girls were a mystery, anyway. "Why don't you trust them? What wrong could they do to you?" Sumi only said "It is complicated. You will know some day." Raghu only dismissed that as her way of avoiding arguments.

The woman had now occupied his seat, her child on her lap. Raghu felt proud of his decision, he was happy he did the right thing. The child, happily playing in his mother's lap made Raghu glow with elation. A few stops later, even before Raghu had to get down, the woman got up from her seat and began struggling forward. "Life is really difficult for these women." Raghu thought. But he could not move, the bus was jam packed. She dragged herself, forcing her way ahead, she had to rub against all the people to get past. She finally pushed past Raghu and a few other people to get down at her destined stop. She was in a hurry. Raghu felt a little more frustrated with the attitude of 'the crowd' who wouldn't give a helpless woman a decent space to move. But on the whole, he was satisfied because the woman got to her destination comfortably, otherwise.

Moments later, however, Raghu felt a pang of some strange feeling he couldn't explain. Something was definitely amiss. He inserted his hand in his back pocket. His wallet was gone.

It was little consolation to him that half a dozen other men felt the same. "Stop the bus!" Someone shouted. "Stop the bus!" More people shouted behind him. "Someone picked our purses." Someone else shouted too.

In a state of shock, Raghu reeled around to look at all the men who had lost their wallets. And all of a sudden, like a downpour, realization dawned on him. All the men the woman had pushed past, had lost their wallets.

As he left the bus to get back home, devoid of the few hundred rupees he had earned after slogging a month, his thoughts spun back to Sumi. "She was right." he thought. She did not trust many people.

That night he wrote back to Sumi in a text message, although his balance dwindled. They always texted each other, no matter what the occasion.

U wer rite. U shouldnt trust any1.

Since Sumi had a post paid plan, she was always able to reply back to him. Something he appreciated, out of a few things appreciable about her.

He had a reply.

What happened?

Genuine, he knew. There was no hint of mockery in it. In as small a text message as possible he told her what happened on the bus.

Oh no! :( Did you lose much, rags?

Raghu typed back.

A few 100 rs and my naivete.

Nomad

noreply@blogger.com (Quaintzy Patchez) — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 10:59:00 +0000

I'm marooned amongst the crowd.

My baggage weighs heavy.

It's dark and the road is rough.

But I don't belong here, and I must leave.

Yet again.

Feeling marooned amongst the crowd is generally regarded as a sign of being unsocial. Totally undeserved, sirs and madams, if I can have my say! If you're feeling marooned amongst the crowd (this does not mean you are wearing maroon coloured cloak) - you are probably just bored with the silly pack. My advice is, leave soon. You belong elsewhere. Perhaps amongst the caterpillars you always want to study or crazy science fiction comedy that only nerds appreciate.

Cheers!

Love,

patchez.

p.s. As you must have realised by now. I'm not giving up blogging :P too disappointing? Aww.. ;)