The Museum of Bad Book Covers

Ophelia's back...

2009-07-12T10:50:00.002-04:00

...and this time, it's retarded!

Decorating Tips From Ed Gein

2009-07-07T14:04:00.006-04:00

I'm trying not to post a lot of comic book covers here, since finding old comics with ridiculous covers is like shooting a barrel that doesn't even have fish in it, but once in a while something amazing like this pops up. Yes, nothing worrisome about Little Susie's hobby here. Whatever you do, don't look in the fridge!

(Via Stupid Comics, where you can find plenty of hilariously bad comic art.)

No Sir, I Don't Like Getting Blown Up

2009-06-21T11:34:00.002-04:00

Finally, something everyone can use. (I wouldn't be surprised if someone's written an alternate-history epic involving copious amounts of horse bombs.)

It's okay to loathe leprechauns, though.

2009-06-12T15:20:00.001-04:00

I love the disgusted facial expression on those kids. They now loathe leprechauns, exercise, and reading. Thanks a heap, "Magic" O'Grady.

This ain't your grandma's needlepoint! This is MANLY!

2009-06-11T11:34:00.001-04:00

Just when I thought celebrity cookbooks couldn't be topped...

Sick of these motherfu...oh, forget it.

2009-06-08T11:35:00.002-04:00

Tapping into the vast and lucrative market of "people who like to do puzzle games and pretend they're being menaced by snakes while they solve them."

You have chosen...poorly.

2009-06-01T13:09:00.002-04:00

Jack Vance is an important writer of early science fiction. His work inspired the entire magic system of Dungeons & Dragons. And yet, now all I'll ever remember him for is this, which I assume involves battling a bunch of insufferable Wankhers.

Interstellar travel: less fun than previously indicated

2009-05-21T12:50:00.004-04:00

This looks thrilling. I can't wait to get to the part where he files for a small business loan...in space! (Original title: Cousin Blobby and Ming The Merciless Go To The Goddamn Bank.)

I'm onto you!

2009-05-19T21:12:00.001-04:00

Admit it, Turtledove. You wrote this just so you could commission a painting of a Nazi riding a unicorn.

"What did you say about my manties!?"

2009-05-12T20:18:00.001-04:00

Maybe they'd be a little less deadly if you wore pants, Thongbad the Mighty.

Dinner of the Damned

2009-05-08T19:02:00.004-04:00

If meat companies wanted to promote their products so badly in the 50s, why did they give out all these books that make meat-eaters look like total psychos? Nobody gets that excited over a roast unless there's something very wrong with them.

Healing broken hearts with wacky wave action

2009-05-06T12:44:00.002-04:00

Nurses go on an awful lot of thrilling, sexy adventures in Romance Novel World. I'm pretty sure it's a trick played by the nursing industry to recruit the unsuspecting. You never see "Bedpan Duty Nurse" or "Love Among the Gangrene Cleanup Crew".

Get confident, stupid!

2009-05-04T13:31:00.001-04:00

I know, I know. It's not a joke. This is a real book. I'm sure it works wonders.

There's no easy way to break it to them

2009-05-01T14:11:00.003-04:00

"Well, if we're so dead, how are we standing here pestering you, smartass? Yeah, that's what I thought."

Luke, the barn!

2009-04-30T12:01:00.001-04:00

They look awfully cheerful for people in danger. Maybe they don't realize they're driving off a cliff.

Hepped up on goofballs

2009-04-28T11:29:00.002-04:00

A gritty, realistic tale of the horrors of addiction. "Consider THIS an intervention, you dizzy broad!"

A steaming Pyle

2009-04-27T11:25:00.004-04:00

The horrifying truth: they could have designed us a much nicer looking book cover, but our pride in being crazy assholes to everyone is more important than such worldly concerns.

I really have to wonder what the F stands for. Nah, I think I know...

A classic

2009-04-24T11:43:00.001-04:00

It's my birthday, and that means it's time to reflect and realize an important lesson this book imparts: it could always be worse. Thanks, scary pretend Aunt Jemima!

They're setting D-Con human traps!

2009-04-23T13:00:00.001-04:00

I'm not going to lie. I love this cover and would display it proudly in my home if I owned it.

Beware of counterfeits

2009-04-22T13:31:00.002-04:00

Hmm. Splintery, flammable, vague foresty scent...yep, I think I've got a piece of wood here, and I owe it all to this invaluable guide.

Baby's First Coprophagia

2009-04-21T11:07:00.001-04:00

...no thanks.

Something's wrong in Vermont!

2009-04-20T10:25:00.001-04:00

The Quaintsville covered bridge holds the horrible secret to what's been drinking all the syrup and shredding everyone's matching sweaters!

So scary it blows.

2009-04-17T11:27:00.003-04:00

One of my favorite cover subjects is horror books about completely un-scary things. Grrr! Those curtains'll teach you to call them ugly and claim they clash with the wallpaper!

Other hand colors aren't as scary

2009-04-16T11:11:00.003-04:00

The shadowy figure skulked out of the darkness, and an unearthly chill went through the room. Lady Ebonyheart Ravensblood turned around in shock, dropping her cursed amulet on the floor. Her face twisted into a grimace of disgust. "Steve, take those stupid red mittens off. I don't care how cold it is. You're seriously ruining the atmosphere here."

Just more to caress your codpiece with

2009-04-15T11:32:00.001-04:00

I think I may have found the greatest romance novel of all time. Why? Count the princess's hands.