THE LIFE OF THE ARMY

Heartbroken in Virginia

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 26 Apr 2009 13:54:00 +0000

So, I know I haven't written anything in like forever. I just had a whole lot going on. From my last post, I am in Virginia now. I'm still not settled in yet. I checked in to my unit on 9 April and am almost finished with in-processing. I'm on Permissive TDY right now; it's basically 10 free days of leave that the Army gives you for finding a house.

I've had a lot of turmoil the past few days, and maybe writing about it will help ease the pain a little. I actually did find a house right in between where me and my "fiance" would be stationed at. It would have been a 45 minute drive for me; 20 minutes for him. In my mind it was worth the drive, to be able to go home to my own house, and family. While we went around looking at houses, I had this little bit of uncertainty buried in the pit of my stomach. Maybe I set myself up for failure; I don't know. It just felt like everything was going too perfect, and maybe it was. Literally, everything was going perfect for me. I got put into a Unit that's currently deployed, and will be returning in September. That means that I don't have to worry about deploying again until after September 2010 at the earliest if I stay with this Unit. Trust me, that's a great piece of mind to have, when you've already spent almost 2 years away from your kids. They haven't lived with me since August 2007. They will be coming to Virginia to stay in July.

So, like I said. Everything seemed to be falling into place and perfect. The house that I bought was great for a first home. It has over 2,700 sq/ft., four bedrooms, a study (could count as a fifth bedroom, a gigantic kitchen, and a big Master's suite. Like I said, it was perfect. It even had wires and speakers pre installed for surround sound, in the Family Room. And I forgot to mention that it came with a 50'' plasma TV that would be delivered after I moved in. You can't get more perfect then that.

So what is the problem? I guess when you look for something to fall apart, it inevitably does. And fall apart it did. Not even a week after I signed the papers for the house, my fiance and I broke up. Basically on the lines of, he thinks he needs space and wants his own place. You really can't fault a person for not knowing what they want...rather sooner then later. What I do fault him for is his timing. Prime example of why I nick named him "too late." Because when he finally figures out life, it's always after the fact. Guys, it took me a 1/2 day to process. My first thought was to kill him. Yeah, I know. Think Heavens, I've learned to think before I act...for the most part any way.

When I finally found the words to ask, all I wanted to know was "why", and "why?" "Why, do you feel like this now?" "Why didn't you bring this up before I signed the loan agreement?" "Why didn't this cross your mind before 'you' handed over the Good Faith Money?" I mean, he was more excited about this house then I was. He ran through the whole thing, inside and out, taking picture after picture. So, I thought it was reasonable for me to be perplexed. There was no logical explanation. I tried to be lady like, but it ended up turning downright ghetto! I still have the same question, "why didn't you tell me this before I signed?"

So I sat realizing that I was about to be stuck with a house that was 45 minutes away from where I worked. Yes, I know that people to commutes longer then that all over the world. I figure they either have to, or they have something or someone to go home to. Yes, I'll have my kids with me. But, they would have to go to school by the house. I'm a SGT in the Army. Who's to say that I can rush out and pick them up in an emergency situation on time. I got some guidance from my girlfriend, and of all people, my ex-husband. Never thought he would be on the receiving end of my problems, and offering helping words.

So, hopefully I won't have to retell this story again anytime soon. In other words, I won't be ready to tell this story again anytime soon! That's why I had to write it down; to let it all out. I've cried, and cried, and cried. I haven't screamed yet; might try that later. It's not the breaking up that's the hard part. It's picking up the broken pieces. I've spent the past several years with this man, and it felt like I was just being thrown away like garbage. I know some of you may feel like I'm over-exaggerating, but I'm not. To have someone do that to you, and then look at you, questioning why you're so upset. I got told, that it wasn't a big deal, because I can buy another house. Yes, that's his logic. It's all no big deal. At least not to him!

So enough of my pity party, been doing it all weekend; just figured I'll invite some friends this time. So now I'm working with my realtor (she's really been a great help), to get into another development (by the same builders) that's closer to where I live. The builders have been pretty awesome also. I guess it really is a "buyer's" market. Not only are they willing to transfer everything over to the new community, if I choose to live there instead. They are also willing to substantially drop the price of the first house that I had chose.

There's only one house left that's close to where live. It either has a basement or a finished attic (it's still being built); as well has the four bedrooms, and super large Master Suite. So I guess I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, but I still have a long way to go until I get to the end of it. I'll make sure to keep up with the updates on the blog. I'm sure that it will also be a great stress reliever too.

Goodbye!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 22:33:00 +0000

Well, I'm finally leaving! After all this time in Germany, tomorrow I will be taking that Transatlantic flight for the last time. I really didn't allow myself to think about leaving these past few months; I guess it just hit me...right now. I spent most of my young adult time in Germany. I went from girl to woman here. I've encountered so many new things, so many different places, and people. I hate to admit it, I love Germany. I originally never wanted to leave. Living in Germany has sheltered me from a world that I just wasn't ready for, or maybe it wasn't ready for me. I didn't have to worry about where I was going to live, what school to put my girls in, buying a house; not any of the things I have on my plate now. Leaving Germany, is going to be like losing a good friend. You never really understand the impact of that relationship, until it's gone. I can only hope that I have as many good memories in Virginia that I do here.

Cook Me One Meal

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 02:08:00 +0000

Speaking of my Army Man. I've been peeved with him for about two weeks now. I asked him to cook for me; just one meal, one day. He never did it. He was wondering why I kept making a big deal about, and I had to tell him that I just wanted him to make me one dang meal. Is that really asking too much. I cook for him all of the time; partly because I enjoy it, and the other part because it's whats expected of me. As the days passed, I kept reminding him. He would say that he was going to do it, but he never did. I kind of went on a no cooking strike of my own.

After reconsidering, I realized that I was wrong. Don't get me wrong, I would love to have him make me something to eat every once in a while. Fact of the matter is that we've been together for almost five years, and he has never cooked for me once (maybe some Hamburger Helper in 2007). I knew he was like this when I first met him. As the saying goes, "you can't teach an old dog new tricks!" There are some things that can be changed in a relationship. When the rules have already been established and set; it's pretty much a done deal. Given my Army man's track record with cooking; he once messed up instant oatmeal when I was sick and on quarters. I think I'll be the lone cooker in the house...for now.

Restless

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 00:33:00 +0000

I'm finding it harder to sleep as my fly date gets closer. Tomorrow is crunch time. I have to finish clearing S1, and I have my Final Out tomorrow. I also have to run to the Post Office to mail off all the stuff that I either forgot to pack up, or I thought I couldn't live without for two months. I may have to make a run to the Transportation office to check on reimbursement for mailing things back to the states. My Army Man was given this option when he made his Trans appointment, but of course he doesn't remember where the paperwork is at, or what he is suppose to do. Since I've been in a ticked off mood for the past couple of weeks; I just left it alone. Seems like I have to think for myself, and think for him. At times I do appreciate being so needed, but lately it's been aggravating. I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown last weekend. I told him, "I take care of everything, but who is going to take care of me?" This week was better, especially since we're so close to leaving, but boy does it get ruff!

PCSing

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 08:38:00 +0000

I've been in Germany since 2002. I originally came down with my ex-husband as a dependant; I was in the Army Reserves. I went active Army in 2004. I am moving to Virginia, and this will be my first PCS. I guess the only good thing for me is that I did my move in two parts. Ninety percent of my household goods were picked up 2007 before I deployed, and put in storage in Maryland. I had also moved my girls to back to the states, and had all their personal items shipped off as well.

Fortunately, I don't have to experience the brunt of a full fledged PCS like most people. My remaining household goods were picked up two days ago. My vehicle was shipped off last month; should be in VA no later then the 7th of April. I have my fingers crossed. Luckily, my fiance and I do have another car in the states by his parents house. We should only have to rent a car for one day; just to get us from Richmond to Charlotte to go to his parents house.

We are going to do a three day layover in Chicago, and drive to to see my Dad in Peoria. Some people do not know that when flying on a Military ticket, you can ask for an extended layover en route to your destination. The only stipulation is that it can not cost the Military any extra money. It kind of worked out for my fiance and I; the first stop happens to be Chicago.

After we fly to Richmond, we are going to drive to Charlotte and stay there for a few days. We are taking leave and do not have to report to our new Units until April 10th. I just have a few more things to pack up and mail off, and finish up cleaning my quarters. I'm almost finished with Clearing; I just have to get the S1 to sign off on my paperwork. I can't do that until my NCOER and Award gets finished. I fly on Sunday, so I hope everything gets done in time.

The Life of The Army

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 07:56:00 +0000

I named this blog because it seemed to best describe me in a nutshell. It's like being the Life of the Party. Being in the Army totally consumes, and dictates your every move. I would have to say it's a very unique job that requires more from yourself than most are used to giving. It does have it's benefits, and that's why I love it! For most people and even myself; sometimes the sacrifices outweigh the benefits. I guess it's like that with anything we do in life. What do you think?