The Life Less Travelled

The Curse of the Monkey

2012-04-27T16:04:00.000Z

I spotted this monkey at Varanasi train station in India. As you can see, he has enormous testicles. You may initially think that he's the envy of all the other male monkeys (and male humans) and the desire of all the female monkeys (only), but cast a thought to the inconvenience of such an endowment.

Consider how it must feel to have your scrotum scrape against the ground every time you go for a walk. Ouch!! I imagine this is probably why monkeys swing through trees instead.

It took me a long time to decide whether this monkey was simply showing off, but after seeing the red, hot colour of his inflamed package, I concluded that it simply must be a position of comfort.

Though, every time I look at his proud face, I am not so sure.

What do you think? Is he showing off or is he just giving 'them' a rest?

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Wasted in the North Sea

2012-04-20T16:47:00.001Z

[Above] Marine debris on the island of Terschelling, in the northern Netherlands

For many centuries ships have been dumping rubbish at sea – to reduce excess weight and to discourage vermin such as rats – which poses a significant and growing threat to the marine and coastal environment. The total input of marine litter into the oceans and seas worldwide is estimated at 6.4 million tonnes per year, 8 million items every day and 13,000 pieces of plastic on every square kilometre. Around 20,000 tonnes of marine litter are dumped in the North Sea every year. Of that, 70% sinks to the bottom, 15% floats to the surface and 15% is washed up on our coasts.

It's estimated that container ships lose over 10,000 containers at sea each year (usually during storms). This pollution harms and kills an estimated 100,000 sea turtles and marine mammals and 1,000,000 sea creatures each year.

The time it takes for litter to break down in the ocean:

Paper bus and parking tickets: 2 - 4 weeks

Cigarette butts: 1 - 5 years

Plastic bags: 10 - 20 years

Aluminium cans: at least 80 years

Plastic bottles: 450 years

Glass bottles: 1 million years

About 80% of marine debris comes from land-based sources. Litter in the ocean either washes up on beaches or collects in ocean gyres such as the Great Pacific Garbage Patch.

I guess what I'm trying to say is: Don't litter... ever!

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Happy Day of the Chocolate Rabbit

2012-04-07T15:03:00.000Z

Happy Easter everyone. Remember, don't take any crap from the Easter bunny. He may seem sweet, but he's all bad.

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Scottish cuisine

2012-03-29T13:20:00.000Z

Tartan kilts, the highlands, the Loch Ness monster and bagpipes... this could only be a recipe for Scotland.

Everybody has heard the rumours of Scottish cuisine. There's haggis - a sheep's heart, liver and lungs minced with onion, oatmeal, suet (the hard, white fat around the sheep's kidneys and loins) and spices, which is then stuffed into the sheep's stomach. There is also black pudding, which is a type of blood sausage, made by cooking animal blood until it is thick enough to congeal when cooled. Please choose from: pig, cattle, sheep, duck and goat blood. But perhaps you're not aware of the Scots' fascination with deep frying.

I first heard about it when I was working in Glasgow for a wee while. There would be talk of deep fried Mars Bars. It wasn't until my last day in Scotland that I finally had the opportunity to try one.

Usually bought from fish-and-chip shops, the woman at this chippie was reluctant. "If it's not done right, if there happens to be a break in the batter, the chocolate will go all over the deep-fryer and it would take ages to clean." But after much shameless begging and batting of eyelids, she agreed. "Oh alright. If you go get the Mars Bar, I'll fry it up for you," she said.

She immersed the chocolate log in a thick coat of batter and submerged it into the sizzling cauldron of hot oil. My eyes grew like saucers and saliva began seeping from my mouth.

I have trouble describing how it actually tasted. It was as if the frying process intensified the sweet, chocolaty flavour ten-fold. The richness overwhelmed my taste buds so much the sensation continued up through my nose and into my brain. I shared half of it with a friend but, even with that half, the sweetness overpowered me and give me a headache. I sat down for a while until my vision returned.

Some call this "The Last Supper" and I can see why. It should certainly come with a health warning for those suffering from high blood pressure, heart disease and palpitations... and for those not wanting to develop a new risk of the aforementioned.

[Below] The woman withdrew it from the fryer and cut it in half for me to share with a friend. Note the abundant oil-residue on the paper.

I have since learnt that the Scottish have extended the art of deep-frying to other cuisines. Don't ask me how they do it, but a Scottish fish-&-chip shop may now also offer: deep-fried pizzas, deep-fried doner kebabs, deep-fried Twinkies, and, only for Easter, deep-fired Cadbury Creme Eggs.

Easter is upon us. Please have your doctor on speed-dial.

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- Don't be coy about eating cuy

- Every man and his [hot] dog

- Having fun with Colombian fruit

- Ice food - Guatemala

Thinking of Japan...

2012-03-17T08:03:00.001Z

The 11th March was the one-year anniversary of the Japanese Tsunami. In honour of the wonderful people of Japan, I will post photos of some of the beautiful and crazy Japanese people I have met on my journey - all of whom luckily are okay.

The Tsunami was caused by a magnitude 9.0 undersea megathrust earthquake off the coast of Japan - one of the five most powerful earthquakes in recorded history. The earthquake moved Honshu, the main island of Japan, by 2.4 metres and shifted the Earth on its axis by 10-25 cm. The tsunami reached a height of up to 40.5 m and inundated a total area of 561 square km. It was also the cause of a level 7 meltdown of the Fukushima Nuclear Power Plant - the only other such incident being the Chernobyl disaster of 1986.

There are 15,850 confirmed deaths and 6,011 injured and 3,287 people still missing. 92.5% of people are reported to have died from drowning, whilst the remainder died from crushing, internal injuries or burns. There were also many people who died after the tsunami as a complication of injuries, subsequent living conditions or nuclear exposure.

Well over 125,000 buildings were destroyed or damaged. People, cars, airplanes and buildings were simply washed away. Many people lost everything they had. 340,000 people were displaced and, one year on, 90% of people are still living in temporary housing. The World Bank has estimated the economic cost of the earthquake at US$235 billion.

Seeing all the scenes and statistics play over on the news got me thinking. I started thinking about the current floods in eastern Australia, where thousands of homes have been flooded and thousands of people have become displaced. This seems to be happening more and more frequently. Last year, the north-east of Australia experienced enormous floods and a complete devastation of the area. With around US$6 billion of damage, the Australian government introduced a Flood Levy Tax to help support those affected.

I started thinking about all the hurricanes, tornadoes and droughts around the world – for example, Hurricane Katrina with US$108 billion damage. I thought about the rising sea-level and how this would result in more destructive tsunamis. I started thinking about the serious food shortages and the increased farming difficulties globally. And I started thinking about climate change.

There still remain a large number of people who irresponsibly deny the phenomena of global warming and climate change. Politicians and wealthy businessmen downplay the effects on our planet (perhaps because it's convenient for their wallets to do so) and disrepute the strong evidence and science that exists to prove otherwise. Unfortunately, these selfish so-called leaders have a louder voice than those who speak logic, reason and compassion.

Natural disasters are becoming a more frequent and costly occurrence all over the world. The human cost is obvious and without price, but the material cost is measured in dollars. Australia is about to introduce a Carbon Tax which is designed to combat climate change and of course many people are complaining. They are only thinking about their pockets and the here-and-now. They don’t care about the future of the planet and their own children on it, and they don’t care about anything beyond their time on Earth.

They don’t realise that even if there was no Carbon Tax, they will still probably pay for the relief of climate change, but in the form of higher taxation, increased insurance premiums, higher prices of consumer goods, etc. Isn't it better to pay in advance and try to actually prevent disasters?

I don't know if Australia’s Carbon Tax is the most effective way to reduce stress on our planet, but at least the government is doing something. I keep thinking of that $235 billion spent to clean up Japan and I wonder how that money could be better spent (if the tsunami didn't happen): creating clean energy sources, sustainable living technology, research, farming, agriculture, sanitation and maybe just feeding people and providing them with drinking water.

Unfortunately there is no tax that forces people to pay a little perspective.

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Puffin awesome!!

2012-03-07T07:32:00.002Z

Heimaey, off the coast of Iceland, is the largest island in the Vestmannaeyjar archipelago. With an estimated eight to ten million puffins in Vestmannaeyjar, it is the location of largest puffin colony in the world.

While hitch-hiking around Heimaey, I was picked-up by the local tyre-salesman and joined him for his daily stroll around the deserted 60° slopes of the island. Initially I thought he was going to push me off the cliff and steal my camera, but he was more interested in spotting whales.

July 1st to August 15th is hunting season. The man showed me a hunting spot on the cliff face (below), which he could only access by walking down the cliff whilst hanging onto a rope. Tucked into this little nook, a hunter would use a big net with a super, long handle to steal the birds from their flight paths. This is called "sky fishing."

Thousands of these adorable birds are hunted every year – sometimes two to three at a time. Once they are caught, the hunters swiftly break their necks.

"The record for one day is 1,700," he said.

"How about you?" I asked.

"Only 500."

It seems a bit cruel but it's necessary to control their numbers.

"See that," he said, pointing to an island of rock bursting out of the ocean. "Me and my friends rent it every hunting season."

Afterwards, he drove me to his house and showed me his long pole... I mean, his net (just look at the picture below and you'll know what I mean). He mentioned that his son had a business of skinning and selling the puffin meat.

"Are they difficult to skin?" I asked.

"No, you can peel the skin off in one piece. My son has become very good at it."

"Because the puffins have short wings," he said, "they need the wind to help them take-off and fly. This is why they live on the cliffs." Once in the air, puffins beat their wings up to 400 times per minute. Furthermore, their short wings are adapted for a special flying technique under water.

Every night in August, millions of newborn puffins leave their burrows in the the cliffs of Heimaey to fly over the north Atlantic ocean. They use the moon to navigate but they get thrown off by the streetlights, and many of them get disoriented and crash onto the streets of the town. So many children, led by their parents, roam the streets at night with flashlights, finding the young birds and launching them back into the air, saving them from the dogs, cats and imminent death. It's a really sweet tradition, but it doesn't stop the people from eating them once they're mature. And the raw heart of a puffin is eaten as a delicacy in Iceland.

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I need your help

2012-01-09T09:58:00.005Z

I have been back in Australia for 1.5 years now. It has been 18 months of stationary travel: although I have been geographically immobile, the journey has been continuing within me.

For many years I have searched for a 'home' but I have recently learned that this is no more than an idea. Home is a state of mind. It doesn't matter where you are physically in the world: once you close your eyes you will always recognise the familiar voice and soul within you, which has travelled everywhere and nowhere. Home is within.

I travelled for a very long time trying to experience as much life as possible so that at the conclusion of my journey I would find inner peace - no matter where I went, what I did or who I was with. Needless to say it completely shook my world when, once upon returning to Australia, after countless travels and adventures, and epiphanies and enlightenment, my soul and spirit was in more turmoil than it had ever been in my life.

And I think I know the reason for this: I searched the world for an enlightenment that was never any-WHERE to be found. It was always within. And once I turned my energy and journey inward, only then did I realise that the true journey of enlightenment was taking place before I ever even took a step.

One may argue that it required the hundreds of thousands of miles of world travel to arrive at this conclusion - and I may be inclined to agree - but when I think that the next 'journey' I take can commence with the closing of my eyes... this makes me smile.

Onto my next adventure...

I have been a writer ever since I mastered my opposable thumbs. I distinctly remember writing letters to an imaginary army at the age of five. "Dear Men," I would begin. Not yet in possession of a journal or diary, I would write in a little, blue bank-book - where one would ordinarily records his or her deposits and withdrawals. Clearly this was a time well before computers would fit inside a house.

Since that time, I have been constantly ushered closer and closer to the same conclusion: that I wish to write a book - something that has also been encouraged by many of you. Well, the time of reckoning is approaching and when I close my eyes I see the end result.

But first I would like to undertake a year of formal education to groom and nurture what skill and ability I possess, to better tell the stories that so far only live within me. And in order to study - and to relieve the financial strain which three years of volunteer work creates - I am applying for a wonderful, writing scholarship.

It is a fantastic opportunity, and I fulfill most of the requirements but one: references. Usually the references should be from teachers, professors, mentors, etc, but because I have no formal training in writing, the administrators of the scholarship have requested that I compile and submit to them a collection of comments about my writing - whether it is my blog or anything else.

And so I ask you, my readers, if you have enjoyed my writing over the years, please leave a comment on this post: a few lines about my writing that I may forward with my application on the 12th January.

I greatly and humbly thank you all for your time and following regardless. I have thoroughly enjoyed relaying my thoughts and adventures to you over the years, and I hope to continue doing so for years to come. Thank you for your companionship on my journey.

Much peace, love and light to you all,

Ara

Iguazu Falls: Brazil vs Argentina. Part 1: Brazil

2011-12-14T22:20:00.001Z

The Iguazu Falls in South America are one of the most spectacular waterfalls in the world. It is one of those sites where, once you set eyes upon it, you have to stop for a moment and try to take in what you are actually seeing.

But the falls are situated on the border of Brazil and Argentina, and each country has its own respective access. So which side is better?

I'll explore the Brazilian side first...

The Iguazu Falls have a 2.7 km edge, however 900 meters of this edge doesn’t have water flowing over it. Actually, the falls have numerous islands which divide it into 275 separate waterfalls.

[Below] Once you have followed the path to the business end of the cataract, the distant buzz of the water falling has crescendoed to a thunderous roar of crashing water. You end up on a walk-way situated midway down an enormous wall of water, which constantly sprays you with mist from the falls.

It is here you have a front-row seat to witness the amazing power of this monster waterfall.

[Below] Only 20% of the falls are on the Brazilian side. But the Brazilian side offer a complete panorama of the incredible falls - which can not be appreciated equally from the Argentine side.

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Poneloya, Las Penitas

2011-11-02T05:26:00.004Z

Poneloya is yet another amazing beach in Latin America. It is a 1.5km stretch of beach located 18km from the town of León, Nicaragua - which is also a great place to check out.

I recently learnt that the daily temperatures in Poneloya range from 32°C to 40°C... or more. This doesn't surprise me at all: one of my most vivid memories from Poneloya was of burning feet. I remember taking off my sandals with the intention to walk along the beach and feel the sand between my toes. But after stepping onto on the scorching hot sand, yelping and a screamed out a profanity, I quickly jumped back into them.

I then had to psyche myself up for the mad dash to the water.

But the roaring waves and fresh, cool water made it all worth it.

I want to be famous!

2011-10-13T08:45:00.007Z

Seeing a camera can be a big deal when you've never seen one before.

Many indigenous children know of cameras and video cameras, but they associate them with movies and magazines, fame and fortune. So, often, when a child from a very poor upbringing sees a foreigner with a camera they may think it's an opportunity to become famous; to appear in a film and be discovered.

So it's not unusual when, after seeing your big, chunky camera, dozens of super excited children flock before you, dancing and performing in any way known to them, trying to stand out.

Of course, there is the possibility that they just want the attention. No fame or fortune necessary.

[Below] Handstands and cartwheels... the globally accepted way to get your picture taken.

[Below] These photos were obviously taken at night, which explains why there were vampires out and about (i.e the girl on the left). Although one would expect vampires to have paler skin...

[Below] ...such as the girl on the far left. Vampireeeee!!!

Seriously though, these photos were taken on a small island of indigenous people on the passage from Colombia to Panama. A friend of mine had once described his encounters with albinos during the same journey so I was kind of expecting to see them. There is another albino below, and a couple of boys crashing the photo.

Often children are just bewildered by foreigners; by the colour of their skin, their body hair; the strange clothes they wear, etc. The kids on this island would have very rarely seen foreigners.

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South American Signs, Part 11: Congreso

2011-05-30T15:12:00.001Z

Congreso, or The Congress of the Argentine Nation, is the legislative branch of the government of Argentina. The following is a sign regarding fire safety that I found during a tour of the building:

Here are the translations of the individual pictures, in order...

1. Attempt to Put Out Fire

2. If You Fail... RUN!

3. Hide Under the Stairs

4. When Others Try to Join You...

5. Lock them inside

6. ...And set fire to the Staircase

7. Then escape

8. When the fire is out and everyone is safe...

9. ...Start Another Fire and leave the building

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Osama bin Laden: Dead or Never Alive

2011-05-12T07:26:00.006Z

How to be a hero in 3 steps:

1. Create an enemy,

2. Convince people that this enemy is evil and wants to do them harm,

3. Tell the world you have killed the non-existent enemy, eliminated the threat and saved their lives.

"In a blind world, the one-eyed man is king."

First there was the earthquake in Japan. Have the troubles there resolved? No. But it got boring so the media moved on to the war in Libya. Now that this has become old news we have a new 'story' - the apparent killing of Osama bin Laden: a story that is full of holes.

Osama bin Laden has been apparently hiding out successfully for 10 years but all of a sudden he has been located and killed?

What proof do we have that bin Laden was even alive over the last 10 years? Has anyone even seen him? Have we had any testimony from anyone who was close to him? We are shown a few videos claiming responsibility for events and making threats, but how do we know these videos are current or even legitimate? These videos could have been received years and years earlier and released in measured doses at times which coincide with low public opinion about the war, or about the president. [Hasn't Obama been having problems regarding his birth certificate lately?]

What we have now is the apparent death of bin Laden at a very convenient time: the USA is having enormous problems with their budget; they are in magnificent debt (currently around $14.3 trillion) and have realised they can't keep this war going on any longer; and the US dollar continues to suffer. Furthermore, popularity and support for the war is at an all time low, and whispers about the next US election have already begun. This is a perfect time to release the next and biggest dose of American propaganda... "We have killed Osama bin Laden. The world's most wanted terrorist." And what's the reaction? Hoards of imbeciles out on the street chanting: "USA, USA."

[I find it odd that in an supposedly, predominantly Christian country everyone - public and politicians alike - is celebrating the killing of a man, no matter who it is. It doesn't quite seem right. I thought the Bible was kind of against revenge... something about that whole "turn the other cheek" thing.]

So what proof did we ever even have that bin Laden was even responsible for the 9/11 attack? Has he EVER mentioned the that attack in any of his videos? All the videos I remember seemed extremely old - like they have been pulled out of an archive - and the"world's most wanted terrorist" talks broadly about general attacks... nothing specific about the twin towers for example. Osama bin Laden was responsible for orchestrating attacks against the US embassies in Kenya and Tanzania in 1998. How do we know he wasn't taken care of then? Who can verify that the videos we have been fed over the last few years weren't old footage?

While writing this post I came across a lot of interesting information, such as the authentic interview where Osama bin Laden denies having any involvement with the September 11th attack, and articles where the FBI admit they have no evidence connecting bin Laden to 9/11.

[Below: from the FBI website. Note that he is not wanted for the attack on the Twin Towers.]

There may well have been a great reason why nobody could find bin Laden... because he wasn't around to find. He ceased to exist a long time ago. What better way to wager an endless war than to fight an enemy that doesn't exist - a war which you can end on your own terms, when you're ready, after your belly is satiated with oil. This has been a war against an idea: the idea of Terror.

Let's say, hypothetically, fantastically, that bin Laden actually was alive. Is it really believable that he was living in the reported compound? I'm no military expert and even I know that it is an extremely poor defensive situation. And in the end, three men were killed, bin Laden was killed (whilst unarmed), one of his wives and shot in the leg and his 12-year-old daughter was injured by flying debris. So there were 3 armed men guarding this enormous compound and al-Qaeda's most important man?... which, incidentally, was stormed by 24 Navy SEALS. 3 versus 24.

While initial reports said that bin Laden was also killed during the firefight, apparently his daughter said that he was captured alive and then executed. In any case, US officials admitted in the days following that the mission objective was never to capture bin Laden but to kill him. But of course assassination for political and financial gain is something the U.S.A is already very familiar with.

And now, what evidence is there that the terminated individual that was actually Osama bin Laden? The USA sequestered his body, DNA tested it, performed photo recognition and dumped the body out at sea. How convenient. They said that in respect of Islamic burial rights they washed his body and buried it at sea within 24 hours, as required by Islamic law. Suddenly they give a crap about Islamic beliefs?? About human rights? Um... Guantanamo Bay? I'm sure the Koran and any other holy book would be quite opposed to waterboarding and other means of torture. Bin Laden was unarmed when he was allegedly shot in the face, but at least he was buried respectfully.

The USA government became righteous at the most convenient of times, disposing of the body of the world's most wanted man, and with it disposing of any possibility of verification, evidence or confirmation of his capture/assassination. So what do we now have to believe this sham of a story: the body's DNA matches that of his sisters (a stretch of believeability) and photos, which of course they are now saying, "We don't know if we can release them." Apparently they are too gruesome. Of course they would say this. And even if they did release them, it is not difficult to manipulate images these days. Children can PhotoShop digital images; imagine what the Pentagon and CIA technology can do.

I want to hear testimony from the woman who was shot in the leg. Or let one of his wives or 17 children identify his body.

What I am urging is: question everything you are being fed by the media. There is always an agenda. George Orwell foresaw all of this when he wrote Nineteen Eighty-Four. We are being lied to, manipulated and led to fulfill the agenda of governments. Ask yourself what you know for sure and you'll find that it is not much.

Remember the apparent Weapons of Mass Destruction? Well Osama bin Laden is now buried with them, out at sea.

"Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that." ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

Wasting food

2011-05-02T15:42:00.001Z

MasterChef (a competitive cooking game show) is beginning its new season in Australia. Forgive me if I don't share the enthusiasm. After travelling in underdeveloped countries for two years, my perspective may be somewhat different.

There are so many countries where food is a scarcity; where people value every scrap and morsel of food - whether it is tasty or foul, fresh or rancid. It makes me so sad to see such waste on television cooking shows. Not only that, but condoning the waste and discarding of food if it doesn't quite meet the taste-test. "I can't serve that!" says the contestant, as he throws the mildly over-cooked food into the trash. "Everything has to be perfect."

This is such disrespect for the world's starving people. MasterChef, and other such shows, encourage viewers to experiment with food in their own kitchens. And, because it has accumulated such a viewer following, the producers have now also created a Junior MasterChef show... so that children may also be encouraged to experiment with food.

Do people have no social conscience? Personally, I know what it is like to be hungry. And I have lived with those who live in lack. Maybe it is this perspective that causes a great sadness to come over me any time I see food being discarded. In western society, we exhibit a culture of excess; a culture of waste. However, in the real world around a billion people are currently undernourished (as reported by the Food and Agriculture Organization).

In 2006, more than 36 million people died of hunger or diseases due to deficiencies in micronutrients, and today over 16,000 children die per day from hunger-related causes.

Furthermore, let's not forget that the earth's population is growing at an incredible rate (see graph, below). Geologist Dale Allen Pfeiffer claims that coming decades could see spiraling food prices without relief and massive starvation on a global level such as never experienced before.

The following excerpt is from Scientific American:

Food scarcity and the resulting higher food prices are pushing poor countries into chaos. Such “failed states” can export disease, terrorism, illicit drugs, weapons and refugees. Water shortages, soil losses and rising temperatures from global warming are placing severe limits on food production. Without massive and rapid intervention to address these three environmental factors, the author argues, a series of government collapses could threaten the world order.

But sure, the photo is very humorous - that photo which donned the front page of the newspaper. Yes, very funny indeed, with all the cooked pasta used as a humorous prop. I hope when Australia too begins to suffer from the inevitable food shortages of the growing world, those involved, and the reckless, can exhume the newspaper clipping with that photo and be satisfied with themselves.

Perhaps you don't think this issue will ever affect you personally... but do you have any children?

Here is some food for thought (pun intended): Risk of Future Famine

Bus travel in South America

2011-04-15T16:55:00.005Z

Travelling by bus in South America is always an interesting experience. Well, to be fair, it's not too bad in Brazil, Argentina and Chile. But once you start heading north it starts to get sketchy.

This was particularly the case in Bolivia, where a non-stop service would mean that one driver would drive the whole distance... non-stop. The most I [un-] happily experienced was a 13-hour journey, but I heard horror stories of trips which lasted 18 hours and longer - and during the wet season these journey times could double, as heavy rain wreaked havoc on the many raw, un-made roads. Imagine one driver on a 36 hour shift. Now think about your safety.

How do they do it? In Bolivia, they chew on coca leaves - coca as in cocaine. Leaves don't have quite the same kick, but they serve to keep the driver awake. Unfortunately it does nothing for their sense of alertness and reaction times.

When reached Peru, I was somewhat happy to see the following:

One of the baggage compartments under the bus has been equipped with a mattress where a second driver can sleep, to be well rested for alternating driving shifts . Ahh... the security of having bus drivers who won't veer off the road with fatigue. Though I was told by other passengers not to keep any valuables under the bus: it seems they sometimes get a little bored under there and entertain themselves with theft from the luggage and backpacks.

During one trip in Bolivia, my bus stopped in the middle of the night for some reason. There was a commotion outside - it sounded like a little child was crying and screaming. I looked out my window and thought I saw the driver force a little child (around 8-years-old) into the baggage compartment. I went back to sleep thinking that I was was either still half-asleep or just seeing things. I realised later that what I thought I saw was actually real.

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Cabin for Rent

2011-03-11T02:55:00.000Z

[Above] SE RENTA CABAÑA por DIA ("Cabin is rented per day").

After having just arrived back in Mexico, to San Cristóbal to be exact, I walked past this patch of burnt land. In the middle of this lot of charred earth sat a little, colorful cabin... available for rent.

I would feel a little disconcerted to traverse a patch of burnt, barren land to reach a wonderland, fantasy cottage, so I never really considered this a viable option. However, I was even more disturbed by the questions this scenario raised: was the cabin built before the field was burnt or after; if before, how did the cabin avoid the flames; if after, which genius conceived the idea of building a cabin in the middle of a burnt field? Maybe Satan lives there. It could be his holiday home.

Personally, I wasn't comfortable with the idea of staying there but for any of you who are interested, the number is at the bottom of the sign.

Security Guard, Guatemala

2011-02-25T15:26:00.002Z

It Latin America you are simply not equipped for the security industry unless you have a gun... and of course the will to use it.

This man proudly protects a wall in Antigua, Guatemala.

Don't be Blackmailed this Christmas!

2010-12-18T17:37:00.002Z

I used to love Christmas when I was little. I would always look forward to the present Santa Claus was going to bring me (note the plural tense of the noun: present). I had no idea what Christmas was all about, only that a hairy, old, fat guy would somehow hand-deliver presents to every child in the world with the help of his flying reindeer. And why? I had no idea. That's just what happened on 25th December. It was a time of joy and celebration. However my current opinion is somewhat varied.

I compare the Xmas that I know today to that which I experienced in my youth, when the value of the sole present I would receive would be no more than $15-20. It was typically a board game, LEGO, or a Star Wars figurine (that should give you an idea as to which decade I'm talking about). Oh how times have changed.

Try eavesdropping on the shopping centre Santa as he entertains children on his knee. Listen to their requests: Xbox, iphone, remote control this, computerized that... I'm led to believe that an entry-level gift for a child begins at around $50. Now I'm beginning to see why one must consider their budget before attempting to proliferate the species.

My good friend is a Chiropractor and his clients bring him presents at this time of year. Today he said to me, "I'm Jewish. I don't even celebrate Christmas and people still bring me presents." This made me wonder about the consumerism in our society.

In western society we are heavily bombarded with messages and advertisements which attempt - and usually succeed - to brainwash and program us to spend money and partake in consumerism. It seems that success is ultimately guaged by the level of consumerism at which one can participate: those who can buy more expensive things are obviously more successful. See a person's house, car and clothing and you can aptly measure his wealth and, subsequently, his success. In pretentious societies such measurements are important.

Which brings us to the undertakings instante mense. I walk into a shopping centre that is packed with people brushing shoulders as they rush past one another in a hurry to relinquish their money. Is this a celebration of Christ or merely an opportunity for vendors and corporations to make money? Yes, the Christmas message is an important one. Economies rise and fall with this message, which now depends on consumer spending. Certainly if there were no Christmas the financial climate may be something very different.

Hence, accordingly, people are programmed with this conspired idea of success: if you have a nice house, nice car, nice things, a family and food on the table... then you have sufficiently ticked all the right boxes and consequently qualify as "Successful". It is in our country's best interest that we believe this.

Quite cleverly, this is a 2-product package. If you qualify do for success you are also, automatically, happy. And so go forth, spend; buy; buy useless things which you do not need; buy things for others which they do not need; be generous with your money (by not using it for necessities). Buy on credit and create debt - debt that will you render you "owned" for the rest of your life and possibly the lives of your children. But hey, I'm sure they will remember that present you got them. So at least you can die believing you were successful and happy.

This Christmas, don't buy me anything. I don't have money to waste... after all, if you buy me something I have to buy you something - that's just how this "Christmas spirit" goes. Because then if I don't, although you may never actually say anything - at least not to me - I would be a bad friend. I would have to feel guilty.

We are ultimately blackmailed to buy gifts for one another. Victory to the economy!

So instead of buying me something, use that money to pay off a gas or electricity bill; fill your car with petrol; buy school books for your kids; or if you have no such needs, buy yourself something that you actually want - go ahead, treat yourself - and act as if it was my present to you. And I will do the same. Who wins? We do.

Why do we need to be given a special day to buy something for someone or do something nice? If you do it that once a year - or twice if you include birthdays - it is a gesture through obligation; obligation imposed upon you by authority. Instead, do nice things for others randomly, without reason or occasion. Only then does it really mean something.

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- Spread the Christmas cheer... with cloning!

- $anta C£aus

- The Universe is smiling at us!!!

How to make great coffee!

2010-11-30T07:08:00.002Z

1. Live on a finca ("farm")

Somewhere with hot sun and a lot of space where you can spread out the coffee seeds to dry. For example, Nicaragua (above)... This is where my tent broke, which I subsequently fixed with a pen and duct-tape.

2. Find some shade

These days, coffee is cultivated in rows, directly under the sun using loads of fertilisers. This causes the coffee berries to ripen quicker and produces the highest yield. However, the traditional method to cultivate coffee is in shade. This causes the berries to ripen slower, and it produces lower yields, but the quality of resulting coffee is allegedly superior. Not to mention, the environmental effects are so much less: less deforestation, pesticide pollution, habitat destruction, and soil and water degradation.

3. Buy a machete

Personally, I think the best coffee comes from Latin America because they do everything old school. They don't have so much money so they cultivate using the traditional methods and harvest by hand - with the aide of a really big knife, of course. This is opposed to being strip-picked by machine regardless of their ripeness.

4. Grow a moustache

Just do it!

5. Remove the slime

After the flesh of the berry is removed, usually by machine, the seeds (usually called beans) are fermented to remove the slimy layer still on them, after which they are thoroughly washed.

6. Get some sun

The washed beans are then dried. One of the traditional ways to do this is to spread out the beans over concrete and rake over and rotate them under the sun. Having a moustache helps with this process.

7. Make like a chicken and roast!

Roasting changes the coffee bean physically and chemically. As the starches in the bean changes to simple sugars, the bean browns.

8. Screw the little man

Pay your workers a couple of dollars for a day of hard labour and export the coffee internationally so that corporations can sell it for a 2000% markup.

E.g.

Cost to buy 250g of coffee from a bean farmer - US$0.55

Cost to buy 250g of coffee from a supermarket - US$11.00

Speak to me

2010-11-19T14:29:00.000Z

In Antigua, Guatemala the Mercado Central ("central market") sits right beside the bus terminal. People from all over Guatemala come to buy or sell or trade animal, vegetable, mineral or "other". Each indigenous group has their own dialect of the Mayan language (21 in total) and their own, unique pattern of dress. Hence, by observing the clothing, one knows what dialect to speak when buying melons, for example.

The Chicken Buses of Guatemala

2010-11-09T08:39:00.005Z

The buses in Guatemala are referred to as "Chicken Buses" because people take everything and anything with them onboard, including live animals.

Once a U.S. school bus amasses 10 years of service or 150,000 km it is auctioned. Many end up in Central America, where there are modified into the beasts of burden known as caminoetas, or Chicken Buses: a high-powered manual transmission is installed; they are shortened, to make them easier to maneuver on narrow roads; they are fitted with roof racks on the outside, luggage racks on the inside and air brakes; and the seats are ripped out and replaced to seat 6 people across. And let’s not forget the most redeeming feature... the paint job!

[Above] The ayudante ("helper") is the man responsible for filling, and over-filling, the Chicken Bus with passengers. As the driver slows down to anyone, anywhere on the route, the ayudante hangs in the open doorway and yells out the destination in the most practiced, shrill, annoying voice possible. Each bus is run like a private business and is in direct competition with all the other buses, so whoever gets to the customers first gets their custom. Buckle up!

[Below] The bus terminal in Antigua, Guatemala is a hive activity, rich with smells and sounds and sights. Like most bus terminals in Central America, it attracts people in the masses, all trying to make some money from this grand union. It is a constant bustle of life, from within which you can find anything you so desire. Anything!

Edible zombie blood

2010-11-04T13:59:00.004Z

I seem to be participating more and more in dress-up occasions. Last Halloween in Colombia I bought several lengths of fabric and dressed as a mummy. I thought being a zombie this year would be the natural progression - mummies are dead corpses, where zombies represent the un-dead.

I guess next year I'll be a vampire. Though werewolf may be an easier option - I would only need to take off my top to reveal my hairy chest.

I was quite pleased with my recipe for blood:

* 2 tablespoons of glucose syrup (or corn syrup)

* 6 drops of red food dye

* 1/2 tablespoon of cocoa

And for scabs, just add a few corn-flakes in there.

It's all edible. Several people dared to lick my pustular wounds and were delighted by its sweet taste! [This last sentence may not necessarily be true.]

I also found that covering my hair and face with baby powder created a good foundation for any further make-up... if you believe it's make-up. ;-)

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- Halloween in Colombia

South American Signs, Part 10: Ecuador Mail

2010-10-26T16:18:00.000Z

I have heard that the postal system in Ecuador is possibly the best in South America. Perhaps they keep it that way by their strict regulation of what you may and may not send via mail.

Do NOT send:

* Cameras - photography of inside the letter-box is strictly forbidden
* Fire - and how would that be possible?
* Guns - contact your weapons-&-arms dealer for an alternative mode or shipment
* Letters - well if you're not allowed to send fire or guns, why should they permit you to send letters
* Drugs - this is for the benefit of lazy drug dealers
* Dogs - obviously there were enough people doing this to justify this clarification
* Diamonds - wouldn't it be bad luck if they got lost in the mail. Apparently mail-order diamonds are big in Ecuador.

I'm just wondering what you can send via mail.

I think you are allowed to send: plants, penguins and hamburgers.

Graffiti #8: Icons

2010-10-19T16:01:00.000Z

[Above]
ESTAMOS GRABANDO
("We are recording")

[Above]
Behind Barcodes

[Above]
Noentiendo
("I do not understand")

[Above]
Disney War

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Related Posts

- Graffiti #4: Police and Authority
- Graffiti #5: Television
- Graffiti #6: Love
- Graffiti #7: Go Vegan

Halal Meat

2010-10-14T14:58:00.002Z

Buying meat in the Middle East is just as easy as buying anything else. You go down to the market, find the relevant section and shop around for the best price... and of course haggle and negotiate until you're happy with the price.

The good thing is that all the meat is hanging before your eyes ready for inspection. The bad thing is... well, let's just say food safety laws don't really exist in the Middle East. But don't worry, this is how things are done here and the chance of dying from contaminated-meat poisoning is only moderate.

But look on the positive side... all the meat is smoked at no extra charge - smoked from exhaust fumes of cars driving immediately past.

Diosca Riachtanach

2010-10-08T07:43:00.001Z

Learning Irish (Gaelic) has never been easier... and never will be.