The Kinkster Review

Winter Solstice 2010

2009-11-25T21:02:00.005-05:00

Last year, one of the events that really changed my kink life was "Winter Solstice" 2009. It was held at the Black Phoenix club down in Philly. Some of you may remember me raving about it when I came back. I met some amazing people, solidified some new relationships, and found a sense of community that I had not felt before. I was very new to the public scene and I felt welcomed with open arms and got tons of playing and learning in. I had attended a couple of events before but this was the first one where I really started to feel comfortable.

I was and am very saddened that Black Phoenix was forced to shut down a few months back. I miss being able to take the short drive down to enjoy the club and the folks I got to know that weekend. As weeks turned into months, I began to fear that there would be no Winter Solstice this year.

I am thrilled to say I was DEAD WRONG:

Winter Solstice is on.

Winter Solstice is even closer by, in Edison, NJ.

Winter Solstice will be taking over an entire hotel. Can you say kinky, naked pool party?

Winter Solstice will have a killer Play Space...

Winter Solstice will have a fabulous New Year's Eve Party!

Winter Solstice has lots of classes. For instance, the most Awesome Del is teaching "The Top of the Boot: Boot Play for Tops"

Description: When you sit down to get your boots blacked, do you understand what your part of the exchange is supposed to be, other than tipping for good work? Does your sub love to kiss and lick your boots, but you're not sure how to receive this worship? Del has learned to accept boot worship, to turn boot care into its own scene, and how to say thank you with that steel toed love. The Top of the Boot will cover all of these sorts of scenarios, in addition to basic kicking, boot humiliation, and other fun things that can be done with a leather-clad foot. Finally, if you're a good class (and the demo bottom is willing), we'll let you watch a hot bootfucking!

Jay Wiseman will be doing a CPR class and Pyro Sadist will be teaching you how to set people with his usual style and finesse.

Where the fuck do I sign? Oh wait, I already did!

It's going to be a great event. I hope you all decide to join me and the great Black Phoenix crew in ringing in the New Year right.

Freak?

2009-10-28T21:55:00.007-04:00

From Webster's online:

Main Entry: freak
Pronunciation: \ˈfrēk\
Function: noun
Etymology: origin unknown
Date: 1563

1 a : a sudden and odd or seemingly pointless idea or turn of the mind b : a seemingly capricious action or event
2 archaic : a whimsical quality or disposition
3 : one that is markedly unusual or abnormal: as a : a person or animal having a physical oddity and appearing in a circus sideshow b slang (1) : a sexual deviate (2) : a person who uses an illicit drug c : hippie d : an atypical postage stamp usually caused by a unique defect in paper (as a crease) or a unique event in the manufacturing process (as a speck of dirt on the plate) that does not produce a constant or systematic effect
4 a : an ardent enthusiast (film freaks) b : a person who is obsessed with something (a control freak)

So why am I ASecretFreak? For as long as I can remember, I have felt a little "freakish" and out of place. As a teenager growing up in small town Vermont in the late 70's, already leaning towards being Queer, this feeling grew. My childhood was really chaotic and for some reason, I just got sucked into desperately wishing for a "normal" life. Conventional job, house, 2.2 kids, picket fence, golden retriever.... All destined to keep this dark and kinky soul feeling more and more freaky and isolated inside. For approximately 33 years, I tried to pursue this dream. When I first began to explore my darker desires, "Asecretfreak" was the name I picked for my online persona. It reflected my feeling of secretly being "one that is markedly unusual or abnormal" or "a sexual deviant".

Much has happened since I began this journey. I found a warm and welcoming community of kindred spirits. I found that elusive sense of belonging I sought by rejecting my "secret freak" and trying to assimilate, came to me only when I instead embraced it.

The label "freak" still resonates for me. I can't share my kinky side with everyone I know. I must still fly under the radar when appropriate, which, let's face it, is most of the time. My new friends are sympathetic, trying to reassure me that I'm ok. "You're not a freak. or "Why do you call yourself that?" I am reluctant to relinquish the label. I feel a desire to reclaim the term as a positive rather than a pejorative. There are other words, like Queer, Geek, Dyke, Slut... all describe me at times. At this point, I'm proud to use them, at least when I am in the company of my friends.

From the definition above, I like "ardent enthusiast", which describes me pretty well when it comes to kink. I also like idea of "a whimsical quality or disposition". I find my self thinking of the concept of "letting your freak flag fly", or the song, "Super Freak".

I may not be quite so secret anymore, but I'm still a freak.
A happy freak, having found that I am not alone.

Hot Poetry: Rachel McKibbens and Marty Mcconnell

2009-10-26T23:37:00.003-04:00

Favorite lines:

"I want to fuck you so loudly the neighbors cum in their sleep."
"I just want a dirty little stepbrother to crawl into the attic with"
"Let's fuck like two pigs being dragged to slaughter."
"I want to do things that are only legal because nobody thought of passing a law against them."

Float....

2009-08-20T11:32:00.007-04:00

Well, the freak has been busy doing everything but blogging it seems. Leather Retreat, TESFest, and now heading out to Floating World. Life has been good for me.

In the same time, I have seen two major clubs close down on the East coast; DFP, and my beloved Black Phoenix. Both are now slated to re-open after improvements have been made, but it is a sad state of affairs nonetheless. The sadness is compounded by the divisive bickering and drama that has surrounded these events. Other clubs and kink related businesses in NYC, including Purple Passions and Paddles are struggling. This week we have lost a major luminary of the community Jack McGeorge, whom I am sorry to say I never had the good fortune to meet. Life has been hard for many of us.

This weekend, at Floating World, more than 1200 of us will come together. There will be the celebration of a wedding. There will be a memorial service for the man our community has lost. Old friends will see each other again, new friends will be made. A safe space has been created for all of us to let our "freak flags fly" for a precious few days.

My wish for all of us: I hope that this time will be a time where we all strengthen our bonds to each other and come together in fellowship. Where we take the time to mentor and welcome the newcomers into the fold as well as celebrate our relationships to those known to us. Where we learn, teach, nurture, grow, love, fuck, remember, celebrate, and play, and play, and play some more.

Life is short. Drink deep.

Eric Swartz's [2004] protest song, "Keep Your Jesus Off My Penis"

2009-06-12T08:37:00.003-04:00

I just could not resist this with Pride week coming up. Old but still completely relevant. Came to me off a tweet from Kate Bornstein.

Check out more about Eric at: http://www.ericschwartz.com/
Happy Pride!

NYC Kink-a-Go-Go

2009-05-14T19:16:00.011-04:00

What a wild weekend of play is up this weekend in NYC. Suspension at China 1 at 9 PM tonight, LSM Panel on "Family Dynamics – Mommies, Daddies, Little Boys and Girls" at the GLBT Center at 8 PM and Switch at Paddles at 10:30 PM on Friday. TES Novice excursion at 9:30 PM at Chelsea Gallery Diner this Saturday, TES Sock Hops and Acid Trips party at 10:30 PM at Paddles this Saturday. NY Boys of Leather at Stonewall on Saturday night. Instigate on Sunday at 5:30 PM at the GLBT Center.

If you are bored this weekend, you are not easily amused.

News Flash... BP just may be perfect now.

2009-05-09T15:20:00.002-04:00

They have added hot water and done significant expansions of the bathrooms at Black Phoenix. The place may just be perfect now.... :-) Heading off to enjoy Kinko de Mayo.

Beltane Ho

2009-04-29T02:14:00.002-04:00

The freak is off to Free Spirit Alliance "Sacred Sexuality Beltane". Aw to heck with it... I'm going to camp... See ya'

Alphabet Soup

2009-04-23T09:21:00.002-04:00

Come out to Alphabet Soup tonight. DTox - 31 2nd Ave between 1st and 2nd St. 7:00 PM and on. Last one rocked!

Black Phoenix NDD bootcamp.

2009-04-23T06:49:00.009-04:00

The evolution of Philadelphia's Black Phoenix continued last weekend at Northern Delaware Ds' NDD Bootcamp II on April 24-25th. The Black Phoenix opened it's doors at the extremely reduced rate of 1$ for the day (plus a dish for the potluck) and an additional 5$ for a night of play. For another additional 5$ people were allowed to stay over. You can't even go see a movie for that price!

The day was wildly successful; with over 300 attendees. Master Steve and slave tami, the founders of NDDs, created an event filled with awesome educational opportunities, great food, and a chance to mingle with friends and make lots of new ones, in an amazing BDSM playground. With 25 classes on many topics, there were plenty of learning to be done. The presenters included Sarah Sloane, Jay Wiseman, Pyro-Sadist, Slutress Dottie, Zebrianna, and many others. Vendors and professional photography by PhotoPlay Photography were available. The food was incredible because it consisted of potluck donations from the 300 attendees (all of whom can apparently cook). It was quite obvious that Master Steve and tami and their platoon of volunteers knocked themselves out to organize a community event that will be remembered and talked about for some time to come.

The beauty of Black Phoenix is that with the second half of the space now open and the full 20,000 square feet in use, that many people can be there and it still does not feel crowded. Black Phoenix still has some work to do but it is clear that the team has not let up in their efforts towards reaching the full potential of the Black Phoenix. Definitely (still) worth a ride down from NYC and getting better all the time.

You might be a Pervert if...

2009-04-07T08:57:00.005-04:00

If you've ever walked through a kitchen supply store testing the spatulas and spoons by slapping them against your thigh or forearm...
You might be a pervert.

If you start typing in the word “Fact” into Google and “face slapping safety” comes up as a recommendation…
You might be a pervert.

If the first thing you do when you walk into a hotel room is look for “points of attachment”…
You might be a pervert.

If you have ever grown your hair long specifically so it’s easier to pull…
You might be a pervert.

If you’ve ever realized about 30 minutes into a subway ride that Tristan Taormino’s “Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women” might not be the best book to be reading openly on the train….
You might be a pervert.

If you have ever pulled up to a gas station and realized that you cannot get out to pump your gas because of what you were wearing (or not wearing)...
You might be a pervert.

If knives make you wet or hard…
You might be a pervert.

If your primary assessment of the ginger you are buying in the supermarket is for maximum size and best shape for anal insertion…
You might be a pervert.

If you have ever bought eight or more hitch rings and a bunch of chain at Home Depot to enhance your bedroom furniture.
You might be a pervert.

If you have to be cautious when you hand out your business card because you never know what other business cards are in your coat pocket that you picked up over the weekend.
You might be a pervert.

If you have more than two drawers and half a closet devoted to toys and implements…
You might be a pervert.

If you are over 40 and still go to "summer camp"...
You might be a pervert.

If you have ever used "Louisiana Red Hot" in bed.
You just might be a pervert.

If you have ever safeworded during an excruciatingly boring conference call...
You might be a pervert.

If looking at a Qtip makes you think "Fire in the Hole!" and grin...
You might be a pervert.

If hanging someone by the neck without killing them is your idea of an amusing engineering project...
You might be a pervert.

If your reaction to finding some pretty ribbon at Michael's is to go looking for your medical stapler...
You might be a pervert.

If you have ever stood in the Pathmark checkout line at 2 am with condoms, ginger, a bag of clothespins, a package of wooden shish kabob skewers, a threepack of fleets enema's, Ultra strength Bengay, clothesline, some Santeria candles, dental floss and a cucumber smiling suggestively at the clerk...
You might be a pervert.

Switch!!

2009-04-06T11:58:00.002-04:00

Saturday 4/4/09 I went to my first Switch party. I have been meaning to hit one of these for quite a while and I am so glad I finally did. This party was their one year anniversary party and was held in different venue than usual; a beautiful space that unfortunately will cease to exist at the end of this month.

Switch is a party that caters to "genderqueer, women, trans, gender fluid, multi-gender, gender non-conforming, gender variant, etc." There was a very friendly and hot bunch of people in attendance. Lots and lots of play going on; including a very happy me getting suspended. In one of the rooms there was a very intense needle scene going on. One of the things that really impressed me is how absolute, respectful, almost reverent silence was maintained as people observed. Nobody had to tell anyone... People just seemed to know how to behave. There was a palpable feeling of everyone being deeply aware of the privilege of bearing witness to the scene and the beautiful interaction between the participants. Not your usual play space feeling. Kudos to the "Switch" team for creating a safe and welcoming environment for this kind of BDSM experience.

Next Switch is back at Paddles:

APRIL 17TH

$10
1O:30pm-3am
(now we're gettin' started earlier!)

New York city's monthly genderqueer/women/trans bdsm party
in a room of our own behind closed doors at PADDLES

BiRequest Meeting: " Kinky and Bi"

2009-04-01T15:09:00.001-04:00

I'm facilitating BiRequest's next discussion group meeting ...

Date: Thursday, April 2nd
Time: 6:00pm - 8:00pm
Location: BLGT Community Center
West 13 St. between 7th & 8th Avenues
Check at the front desk on arrival to confirm room location
Facilitator: Monika & Tom
Topic: Kinky and Bi, or Let's Talk About Kink, Baby!

Summary:

Are Bi people kinkier than the rest of the world, or is that just one of "those" stereotypes? If you only have same-sex partners when you're in a threesome (mmmmmm!) are you really Bi? What is it like navigating kink circles as a bisexual, open or otherwise?

If you're a practicing bi kinkster, did you realize you were kinky first or Bi first? What does kink mean to you? What would you like kink to mean to you? :-)

Come explore these ideas (and anything else that tickles your fancy), or just "take it all in" at BiRequest's safe, non-judgmental forum. It's always fun to talk about kink!

If you can't make it to the meeting, feel free to join us afterward "eight-fifteenish" for dinner at:

Empire Szechuan
173 7th Avenue South (at Perry Street, one block south of 11th Street.)

LSM Play Party

2009-03-29T17:19:00.005-04:00

Friday night (3/27/09) I finally got out to one of the Lesbian Sex Mafia's amazing parties. This party was at a gorgeous space with tons of lovely equipment. Lots of wonderful women were in attendance. It was the first time I have played in a truly all woman space and I can say I will be seeking out more! I can't quite put my finger on why the atmosphere of was so wonderful, it was just a welcome change of pace from the pan spaces I usually frequent. I know, I know some of you are saying "No men, hello!" but it just seems to be more than that. The LSM volunteers were very friendly and made me feel very welcome. There were lots of snacks and sodas. I saw some wonderful play, met some great women, got my boots blacked (awesome job, Lisa) and enjoyed a deeply satisfying scene of my own. And I won an amazing licorice flogger in the Easter egg hunt, too! :-) Went to bed sore and happy.

By the way rumor has it that "Switch" is having their anniversary party at this amazing space next week so check it out.

"Switch" SATURDAY APRIL 4TH 8PM-3AM
($15 before 10PM, $20 after)
Email switchparty@riseup.net for location.

Fetlife: http://fetlife.com/users/92308

This Blog Sucks

2009-03-29T17:08:00.002-04:00

Ok, so I haven't posted in a while and that sucks. When I set up this blog I envisioned writing up reviews and postmortems to various events around town. I have a couple stacked up which I will write up. The sad truth is I don't go to enough different kinds of parties. For this reason, The Kinkster Review is looking for field corespondents to write up events from the many different parts of the kink/ alternative world. If you like to write, and either do not have a blog or are willing to post material on a blog other than your own, I am interested in having you submit reviews to this blog. I would like to attract people willing to write about the Gay men's community, Lesbian, Leather, Trans, and anywhere else I have not thought of. I will edit but only for grammar, not for style and content. If interested please hit me up. I would really like to see this blog become a useful community resource that appeals to multiple points of view.

Dark Odyssey Winter Fire

2009-02-18T15:18:00.002-05:00

Last weekend The Dark Odyssey Winter Fire event was held in Washington DC. Boy. I am having trouble articulating just how wonderful this event was. Dark Odyssey is such a great event because it brings people from many different segments of our community together into one deep, dark, delicious stew. Queer, Pan, Gay, Bi, Straight, Genderfuck, Mindfuck, Swinger, Kinkster, Sadists, Masochists, Switches, Tops, Bottoms, Slaves, Masters, Mistresses and just about any other kind of subgroup was represented. There were orgies and gangbangs, latex and leather, beatings, whippings, floggings, canings, people getting set on fire and poked with sharp things, kinky costumes, all kinds of nudity, hugs and kisses, lots of fucking, cries and moans, and laughter and tears. Oh, and don't forget bondage. Lots of bondage.

A huge dungeon with tons of equipment was available. Could have stayed open a little later for my taste, but I'm greedy. Lots of wonderful classes were taught. I particularly enjoyed the class on "How to be a Better Top" by Marc B. Marc shared lots of little evil top tricks. I also really enjoyed Dossie Easton and Barbara Carellas' "The Tao of Pain." Go figure. I'm a switch, after all.

A good time was had by all...

Fuck Ken Starr

2009-02-08T20:49:00.003-05:00

"Fidelity": Don't Divorce... from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.

Ken Starr — and the Prop 8 Legal Defense Fund — have filed legal briefs defending the constitutionality of Prop 8 and attempting to forcibly divorce 18,000 same-sex couples that were married in California last year. The Supreme Court will hear oral arguments in this case on March 5, 2009, with a decision expected within the next 90 days.

He sucked then. He sucks even more now.

The hell with that shit. Sign the letter to the state Supreme Court.

TES - Edge Play Exploratorium

2009-01-28T08:37:00.007-05:00

Another amazing and affordable educational resource available to us here in NYC is The Eulenspiegel Society or TES. Last night I attended a presentation called "Edge Play Exploratorium". I love this format where several instructors come in and a variety of topics are explored.

Dov presented on Knives and Pointy Things. He brought a variety of delightfully sharp and scary things including a straight razor (shiver) and proceeded to demo them on several lucky volunteers. Just watching made me, well, how should I put it... quite - fucking - horny. Sigh. Dov's demonstration on a couple of his demo's emphasized how incredibly sensual this form of play can be with an experienced player. He also brought up quite a few points (no pun intended) on safety; some common sense, but others about the way knives work that were not quite so obvious. As, usual Dov's presentation was informative, entertaining, and very hot.

Lady Raven presented on caning. Lady Raven's presentation style is a lot of fun. She has amazing comedic timing and kept us laughing. Lady Raven brought with her a plethora of canes and finished up with a great demo with her gracious demo bottom, John. It was fun to see the broad variety of canes from your basic rattan canes to acrylics and the dreaded rawhide.

TES charges a big $4 for members and $8 for non members. Membership rates can be found on their website. On Tuesdays they have a General interest meeting and on Wednesday they have the SIG meeting of the week. They have a large selection of Special interest groups or SIGs:

Bondage Group
Relationships Group
Dominant Men/submissive woman's Group
Dominant Women/submissive Men's Group
Men's Group
Novice Group
Queer SIG
Singles Group
Spanking Group
Switchables Group
TEC at TES (The Equestrian Club)
TES TiNG (The Next Generation)
Women's Group

I would highly recommend TES meetings for folks new to the scene. The meetings are very informative and it is a fun way to meet like minded folks in a low stress environment. That way when you attend your next party, you may very well find you run into friendly faces you have already met. Come join us.

Suspension - The Hitachi-thon

2009-01-26T09:45:00.004-05:00

Another successful party was held last night at "Suspension" put on by the NYC Fetish Tribe at China 1. This party featured the "Hitachi-thon". One of the large booths was set aside and loaded with power strips, Hitachi Magic Wands galore, many friendly "helping hands" and 8-10 ladies in varying states of orgasmic bliss. Mmmm, the sights and sounds in that booth were luscious. A very good time was had by all, including myself. If you are equipped with or particularly fond of someone's (or several someone's) clit then the Hitachi is a must-have.

The rest of the party was hopping as usual. Good music, many spankings and scenes, lots of leather and Latex. It's a wonderful party.

Sadly, it is becoming quite clear that Suspension is outgrowing it's venue. When the party reaches peak critical mass, it's becoming harder and harder to actually scene. Singletails knocking drinks out of hands and that sort of thing. But people manage, and it's still a great time.

Lesbian Sex Mafia:Takedowns, Resistance Play, and Kidnapping

2009-01-17T11:23:00.005-05:00

Well, you know the new year is up and running right when LSM has it's first meeting. LSM's meeting last night at the LGBT center in Manhattan was a real treat. The topic was "Takedowns, Resistance Play, and Kidnapping" presented by the very hot Angel and Sebastian. Sigh. Just warms you heart (and other places) doesn't it? The presentation was intelligent, practical, and wildly entertaining. I particularly enjoyed their demonstration of body slamming. Safety and pratfalls were presented and discussed but in a non-judgmental and informative way. The duo mostly focused on how to enjoy this exciting form of edge play.

I have been consistently impressed by the high quality of LSM events. I have been to three presentations: Breath Play by Mistress Suzanne Sxy Sadist, Predicament Scenes by Sir C, and this event. In every case, the presenters were prepared, entertaining and extremely well-versed in their topics.

LSM is having a party 1/31 at 5:00 PM at Paddles, 15$ for members, 20$ for non-members.

From the LSM web site:
LSM is a support and information group for all women 18 years of age or older, including transexual and intersexed women who live their daily lives as women and all female-born transgender people who feel they have a connection with and respect for the women’s community. And, who are interested in fantasy and role playing, bondage, discipline, S/M, fetishes, costumes, alternate gender identities and uninhibited sexual expression in a safe, sane, consensual and confidential way.

The NYC Subway System

2009-01-13T13:29:00.002-05:00

Sometimes you just gotta love it.

Calendar Roundup

2009-01-09T17:30:00.005-05:00

One thing I don't want to do on "The Kinkster Review" is to reinvent the wheel. This is why I am not announcing all the upcoming events all the time. There are several people running calendars and email lists that are already doing a great job at that. What I will do is try to list the best Calendar/Event resources for you.

nycALTevents.com is still in the process of being built. Morpheus and MinaMeow are working on this and they are trying to put together a calendar of calendars of sorts. While it is being built this google calendar is the temporary solution.

Here are some more resources to tell you what's going on:

TES
DomSubFriends
The GLBT Center Calendar
The Gate
Black Rose
The Crucible
The Society
New England Dungeon Society
Lolita Wolf's Predictions and Predilections (formerly The Leather Yenta) posts leather events about once a week

There are also numerous groups on FetLife where events are listed.
Clearly, this is not an exhaustive list. If you have any other suggestions, email or comment and I will add it!

WInter Solstice at Black Phoenix

2009-01-04T18:54:00.014-05:00

The problem with the perfect place to play in NYC is that it's not in NYC. It's a short hour and a half drive away in Philadelphia. I just attended the first annual "Winter Solstice" event at the Black Phoenix club in Philly. Four days stuffed chock full of presentations, a pony show, vending and a wonderful New Year's Eve party with a full hot buffet dinner to boot. All for a measly 75 bucks.

About the event:

The event was well worth the money. The New Year's Eve party was great, with tons of play going on in the dungeon and a nice dinner. Philadelphia's midnight fireworks display was fun to watch at midnight. Classes over the next three days were on a diverse array of topics from Dov's "Basic Rope Bondage" to Dottie and Zebrianna's "Skin Stapling". Lord Ramirez taught on the "Japanese War Fan" and "The D/S of Argentinian Tango." (Hot!) Other topics included Jay Wiseman's "Thin Cord Nasty Bondage" and Pyro Sadist's "Fire Cupping". The event was completed by a Pony show.

About the club:

The Black Phoenix is in the top floor of an old warehouse. Admittedly, it is still a work in progress, but the crew and management there is dedicated and full of ideas and the space has tremendous potential.

Unlike some NYC BDSM venues I might mention, a snack bar featuring a wide selection of sodas, juices, bottled water, candy and chips, pre-made salads, instant soup, hot coffee, hot chocolate and more are available for hungry players to refuel on. And no, they don't just advertise that they have it, they actually keep the place stocked.

There is a large area in the front of the club set up with tables where people can sit and eat and chat.

The next area, the aftercare/chill out section of the club features several couches, comfy chairs and rugs, separate from the main dungeon space. Imagine an area about triple the size of a living room with plenty of comfy places to sit or snuggle. From there we move into the main dungeon.

Black Phoenix's main dungeon features 10,000 (soon to be 20,000) square feet of space filled with play equipment. Since they have so much space, the many pieces of equipment are placed far enough away from each other that you can really play. There is even a long whip area in the back of the dungeon where I observed play with an 8 foot bullwhip. There is ample room to accommodate it, which is a rarity even at some large events. Lots of tables are available for needle play, medical play, and fire play, most of which was happily in progress on all four nights of this event. There were lots of suspension frames available so, of course, multiple suspension scenes were in progress at any given time. Next to several of the the St. Andrews crosses, there were racks to hang your toys for you scene. There is also comfortable seating scattered around the dungeon.

This is a club built by experienced players for people who really want to have serious BDSM scenes. The thought put into the dungeon lay out really shows. The management (Thomas/Shibari Warrior) is approachable and very dedicated to creating the best possible play environment.

Granted, there are a few issues to be worked out. It's a huge space; heating all of it is a challenge. Many extra heaters were brought in and the staff bent over backwards to keep people comfortable. There is more work to do but it is being addressed.

The thing that impressed me most about Black Phoenix, actually the most important thing, is the tremendous sense of community. The event that ended the weekend was a ceremonial branding of slave tami by her Master, Master Steve. Master Steve presented it as a class followed by a live demo but it was way more than that. The feeling was more like that of being invited to watch a major life event like a wedding. In many ways this act was so much deeper. I can not imagine this type of event happening at any other "club". Master Steve and slave tami must have known they would be surrounded by their community and the friends that love them to be able to share such an intimate part of their lives together this way. It is clear that somehow this place is way more than a BDSM club. It is a place where friends play together, learn from each other, and support each other in times of crisis and joy. It is a place where strangers are warmly welcomed and can feel safe. It is home to a diverse community, with the common thread being WIITWD. That sense of community is Black Phoenix's biggest strength.

So the search is still on for the best play in the NYC metro area... For now if anyone wants a ride to Philly - hit me up.

Flying High

2008-12-22T16:51:00.007-05:00

My quest for the perfect BDSM party in NYC continues as last night I checked out "Suspension".

Suspension has been getting rave reviews from many folks I trust so I really went out of my way to get there. For a variety of reasons, Suspension is held once month on a Sunday night at China 1 at 50 Avenue B in Manhattan. The doors open at 10:30 and close at 4:00 AM, much to the chagrin to us working folk. I have heard the main reason for the party being held on Sunday is that the organizers are having trouble finding a venue large enough to accommodate the size of the crowd they are drawing and still keep the costs down. They charge a very reasonable admission charge of 5$ for women and 10$ for men in "creative attire".

China 1 is a gorgeous club, loaded with couches and lots of lovely dark nooks and crannies for people to get naughty in. It has two pretty decent size rooms but it does get crowded. There were several suspension frames set up and there was play going on. Several rope luminaries were in attendance and putting on a show just by doing what comes naturally to them. Watch and learn, rope loving grasshoppers... The environment is still not absolutely optimal for BDSM play, but definitely the best I have seen at this kind of party in NYC.

There was very good music playing and a cash bar. The crowd was very pretty; dressing up was very much a big part of this party. One friend of mine said it was a fashion show kind of party. I can see how it could be interpreted that way. For me, though, there was just enough BDSM going on to keep me happy. Not ecstatic like I get at a big event like Dark Odyssey, TESFest or Floating World, but definitely happy. So the search for the "perfect" party continues, but Suspension is definitely a step in the right direction.

I Love My Piercer

2008-12-13T10:41:00.007-05:00

I'm quite thrilled this morning. Last night I finally went out and adjusted a few piercings I already had and got a brand new one. On a very high recommendation from a gentleman I met at Floating World who has a HUGE number of genital piercings and others as well, I went to Leroi Jewelers in Manhattan. I had called earlier and spoke to Pete who ended up being my piercer. Leroi Manhattan now share space with Daredevil Tattoos home of the Friday the thirteenth 13 dollar tattoo special. At first I thought I was in the wrong place. But, no, I was informed I was right. Pete came out and led me back to the piercing area in the back. Pete is a lovely guy who put me at ease right away.

I had had my nipples pieced back in July and they just weren't healing right. My fault. I shoulda listened to my first piercer and gotten the straight barbells. But, no, my heart was just so set on rings I had to have them. Well, finally the other night I was speaking with a friend about it who pointed out that the curvature and movement of the rings can cause continual irritation which slows healing. Doh! Of course it does! Silly girl. Also, when I first got them done they only had a 14 gauge ring not a 12. I never really was happy with that size. So Pete the Piercer and I talked about it and we decided to put straight barbells in, titanium just in case there was any allergy issue and size up to a 10 gauge. Pete was highly professional, exhibiting excellent aseptic technique. I'm a nurse, I can make that statement. Everything was fresh and out of a package (of course) and his area was clean and very well organized. He showed me the taper and how it would work. He instructed me to take a deep breath and let it out slowly, he did what he needed to do smoothly and efficiently. Was there pain? Of course. That's the nature of the beast. Do I believe he kept it to the minimum? Absolutely. The pain diminished to a very dull ache immediately and he let me see them in the mirror and I LOVED them. I love them even more this morning. The pain is almost completely gone. Not only that, they hurt less than the smaller rings I had in since July.

The next thing was size up my ear piercings which I have had since I was 14 to a 10 gauge as well. This hurt less, the pain was gone right after the new titanium jewelery went in. One look in the mirror and I was thrilled with them, too.

That left the last piercing, the one that I was most nervous about. The vertical clit hood piercing. With this one Pete recommended a straight 12 gauge barbell, again we went for titanium. I was uptight about this one. Even though I was flying on endorphins from the other piercings, I just could not relax. But I managed to hold still. I won't lie, this one hurt. I yelped. Pete was extremely quick about it though, and the second he was done, the pain was completely gone. And I do mean completely. I think the main reason it hurt so much was I was so tensed up. After he did it I joked about the fact that the reason the piercing area is all the way in the back was so the rest of the customers would not hear the screams. We had a chuckle about that. This morning I don't even know its there. Well, I do, but only in the best way. :-)

So check Leroi out and ask for my new friend Pete. Oh and, Pete? I'll be back.