Happiest Person on the Planet Today
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I am the poster child for planning a retirement but things didn’t turn out as I planned…bummer. I’ve had to face my Gremlins (definition: gremlins are your negative, self-limiting thoughts) especially around my age. What I started to see this week with the aid of the Concordia Cohort, Sylvie, Richard, Anita and Michel is that this is an opportunity.
For those who haven’t spent the last 38 days with me, a friend told me that no one would want to hire me because I am over 50 and that I would be lucky to get a job at $35,000. I had visions of me returning to my former employer as a cafeteria worker. This devastated me and I was found by my husband in the fetal position on the bed. This was 3 days after the termination. What I realize now is this was a gift, however it was intended. It’s taken a while to work my way around to that realization. The reason it’s a gift is because she simply voiced what I already believed and that is why it hit me so hard where I was vulnerable. I had to face it and deal with it. Gremlins don’t go away, they have to acknowledged and then move past them to go on to do whatever it was you wanted to do. I did a mind map of my Gremlins and it was very helpful. I have a small army of them but none of them can stop me from doing what I want to do.
I have now decided to go full throttle on my coaching business. Once I did the $$ projection I am in a better position than anticipated and can resume my original plan partly because I live very simply. When I could identify what is really important to me for myself, freedom is the number one priority. I now have the freedom to do meaningful work, freedom to set my own routine, freedom to enjoy all that I have worked for. On Tuesday, May 1, 2012 - I will officially retire from my aviation career as my pension starts on that day. I had originally planned a small get together to celebrate the milestone which I cancelled due to the circumstances but the party is back on!
The other lessons I’m learning is to enjoy the moment by being more present in it, and even more important I couldn’t be happy unless all of my family and friends were in a good place therefore I was never happy because there are too many of them and life doesn’t work like that. I wouldn’t allow myself to be happy. Now I see more where happiness comes from and that waiting until everything is perfect because it never will be and that it’s a choice.
So today I choose to be the happiest person on the planet and I’m going to enjoy every minute of it. For those who have taken this journey with me my heart is so full of love and gratitude there are no words.
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Post from: The Kay Way
Happiest Person on the Planet Today
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]]>What I want to share with you this week is definitely in the category of good guys and girls; namely the organizers of the Career Fairs on April 2 and April 12 to help our fellow colleagues to start their careers (again!) after the mass termination of 2800 employees on March 20th.
Ten people got together to organize these two fairs that turned for myself into one of the top 10 events of my life. We worked tirelessly to bring placement agencies and companies both in aviation and other industries together to expose our colleagues to open job opportunities. In addition, we brought in Services Canada, Emploi Quebec, Jobboom and Lee Hecht Harrison/DBM to assist in job search and resume writing techniques. Many of our friends have not had to either interview or write a resume for over 20 years.
The organizers namely, France, Ellen, Christine, Pascale, Veronique, Richard, Lise, Philippe, Helen and myself held daily conference calls to divvy up the tasks of getting everything from recruiting the companies, reviewing the over 500 resumes submitted on line, keeping the action plans current, press releases and media management, hotel management and communicating with the ex-employees.
“Celebrating after the fair. Ellen, Lise, Pascale, Veronique, Christine, Kay, France and Richard. Missing: Philippe and Helen.”
There was an overwhelming response from receiving free facilities from the Novotel Montreal Aeroport and Holiday Inn Pointe Claire to free communication services and coffee from MSB to the amazing response from television and radio stations in Montreal to support our initiative. Between the two fairs the attendance is estimated to be over 1800 participants.
This is a tribute to people power, pure and simple. We forget when we’re part of a large organization that we are individuals with talents and gifts that can be exploded into feats of goodness. Researchers say we use 5-7% of our brains but I can tell you that we used all we had to make the fairs a success. The response from our colleagues was intense gratitude, a feeling of we’re all in this together and it also gave people an opportunity to visit with their friends and say goodbye because there was no notice before we were terminated. People stayed for hours just to be with each other.
We spent six hours at each fair on our feet shepherding people, making sure the companies were greeted and set up to their liking, answering questions and concerns plus being interviewed by the media. We were exhausted and spent after the events but so filled with an overwhelming sense of contribution, purpose and joy not to mention the relief that it was a great success!
I raise my glass to you my fellow organizers. Our team will be hard to beat with so many kick ass talented people who know how to get things done under pressure right the first time and work as a team. I will remember this experience with a full heart and many wonderful memories. I thank you.
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Post from: The Kay Way
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]]>To say that this is a devastating event in my life is an understatement. My retirement was perfectly planned, perfectly executed and now perfectly fucked up! I keep thinking I’m going to wake up. All of my stuff from my office is still in the back of my car, it still feels like a nightmare and that I’ll wake up and take all the stuff back and everything will be as it was. Today my friend saw all the stuff and asked if I was living out of my car. I responded “not yet”.
Despite this I have been working hard to help my fellow employees and am part of a small team of ex-employees who are putting on two job fairs, one on April 2 and another on April 12th. This positive pursuit has allowed me to focus on other people’s needs. They are an amazing team of generous, bright and determined employees and human resources professionals who reached out to us. I’m also recommending, writing CV’s and providing free coaching sessions. Some of our employees have been impacted so severely because their whole families worked for the company. We aren’t even going to get our severance or vacation pay and so far have not received the money for days already worked. This will be the first time I have been on unemployment in my life, which I will only be entitled to for one month because I may receive some pension monies.
The bottom line is I’m back on the hunt for a job. I sincerely want to work in a positive environment and be able to use all of my 23 plus years of business experience along with my new coaching skills to contribute to an organization’s success.
To my fellow employees, I will continue to provide support to you to the best of my ability. Please send me your positive energy as I navigate these unknown and frightening waters. I’m sure I will learn a great deal through this experience but what exactly that will be remains to be seen. My emotions are up and down from day to day and sometimes hour to hour. I am blessed to have an incredibly supportive husband who fortunately continues to be employed.
I know I will come through this experience because of all the people who support me and love me and to them I owe a huge debt of gratitude.
Stay tuned…
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Post from: The Kay Way
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]]>I Did It! I Quit My Job to Become a Life Coach
Related posts:- Dancing In the Moment
- I Would Rather Regret Something I Did Than Something I Didn’t Do
- TheKayWay Goes Back to School
For those of you unfamiliar with coaching here is thekayway definition: A coach engages collaboratively with a client through a process of discovery and action to achieve a deeply desired goal.
This last year has been a roller coaster of emotions and soul searching. I had to ask myself some tough questions like; could I live with less, give up my identity I’ve had for over 23 years, stop being the subject matter expert and ”go to” person and become a novice. The answer is yes. I’m going to develop a new identity or as my mentor coach would say, you’re not retiring, you’re re-tiring, putting on new tires.
There are many people to thank for helping through this process. My husband Marc who is really the wind beneath my wings and supports whatever new adventure I propose, my son Richard for being my sounding board and frequently providing coaching to me, Marc and Daniel for wanting the best for me even when I couldn’t recognize what that was and Helen for challenging me to take the coaching program while I was still working.
These big life decisions can be overwhelming. I remember just last month picturing myself jumping off a cliff. It was only when I broke it down and realized that the cliff was really a rock and I had a backpack and a bungee cord. As we live through our perceptions and beliefs it took a long time to recognize I had blown this out of proportion. Once I realized it was a rock, the jumping off part got a lot easier.
Under stress we forget we have options and resources. For example if my business is not successful (a ridiculous example but let’s use it anyway) I could do contract work, I could get a part time job or I could live with less. This is not an all or nothing proposition.
The reason I’m sharing this with you today is because I wanted to share my news but more importantly perhaps there is something in my experience you can use for yourself. We are born whole and from that moment on we pick up beliefs others put on us and we accept as the truth. These self limiting beliefs stop us from achieving our true potential. Challenge your beliefs and validate that they are working for you or against you. There are many ways to change a self-limiting belief through visualization, replacing negative self-talk with positive affirmations. It is not an easy or quick process but it can be the first step to achieving your goals and living your authentic life.
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Post from: The Kay Way
I Did It! I Quit My Job to Become a Life Coach
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- I Would Rather Regret Something I Did Than Something I Didn’t Do
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]]>- I Did It! I Quit My Job to Become a Life Coach
- TheKayWay Goes Back to School
- I Would Rather Regret Something I Did Than Something I Didn’t Do
It sounds really nice and I would love to be able to embrace it but frankly I didn’t “get” it until this week. I’m known for bringing a structured and well planned approach to my work and somewhat in my personal life. I’m known as “the rock” and if one more person tells me how strong I am I may have to resort to violence or at least entertain thoughts of violence.
The concept of being more free and spontaneous is desirable but I just don’t know how to do that. How do you do that without being a flake? I don’t want to be that either, even though it is tempting at times. I had a glimpse of what it could be like this week when I had a coaching session with a client and I forgot all my notes of our previous sessions at home. Despite my discomfort; I prepared a quick agenda and decided to meet with my client.
The client had made significant progress in moving towards her goals. From there I was able to embark with her and ask powerful questions that resulted in a spontaneous experience and allowed me to “dance in the moment”. I felt so exhilarated I could have jumped up and down, I certainly did mentally. To dance in the moment, we have to let go of our fear of failure or embarrassment. There can’t be a script and you must go with the flow and use your intuition to guide you. Scary stuff!
Real creativity can’t be scripted or captured in a bottle. Now that I’ve had a taste of this experience I will work to abandon my fears. I’m reading a book called Taming Your Gremlin by Rick Carson. The subject of the book is our inner critic. We all have one unless we are a sociopath; some inner critics are more powerful than others. They get in the way of fulfilling our potential and stymie our dreams.
It is interesting that with every coaching session the coach learns things not only about the client but about themselves. This is a much more challenging program than I had anticipated. I’m used to being the “expert” who everyone comes to for information. Now I’m the novice learning new skills, techniques and approaches. We are frequently thrown in the deep end just to see what we’ll do.
Being pushed or in my case jumping out of my comfort zone is challenging, frightening and thrilling all at the same time. I have to let my fears go and allow my potential to shine through with all the experiences, intuition and empathy that I have in my soul and bring that to my coaching.
If anyone reading this post can provide insight on similar experiences please share them with me.
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Post from: The Kay Way
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- I Did It! I Quit My Job to Become a Life Coach
- TheKayWay Goes Back to School
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]]>Today I will write an e-mail to each of my “keepers” to thank them for the part they play in my life and how they would be profoundly missed if they were no longer with me for whatever reason. Over the last year I have lost two friends I never thought I would but life happens and what I thought were forever friends were not. I wish them well and will look back on our friendship with fondness.
So what does it take to be a keeper? Someone I could call at 2:00 in the morning and they would jump in their car to help me no questions asked. Someone who appreciates who I am underneath the social mask we project, someone who does not expect me to be perfect, someone who is giving of themselves for the right reasons and probably most important is to be courageous.
Courage is an overused word frequently coined when referring to some military action. For me courage is doing the right thing when it isn’t popular or politically correct. Courage is standing up for right versus wrong and for the less fortunate. Courage can mean getting up every day in pain or sickness and carrying on and making the best out of the day and yourself. I am fortunate to know many courageous people.
Recently my stress with work and school has gotten the better of me but I feel refreshed and ready to start the final sprint. I will take with me the strength and love I receive from my “keepers” and pay it back to keep the cycle going.
Thank you to all who inspire me to keep learning and growing and for believing in me even when I don’t.
Happy New Year Everyone
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Post from: The Kay Way
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]]>The “Haves” versus the “Have-Nots”
Related posts: Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.]]>There have always been those who are against the establishment however; I can admit to a growing discomfort with the gap between the very rich and the very poor not to mention us stuck in the middle. We see CEO’s receiving ludicrous compensation and bonuses sometimes for mediocre performance after which they will receive an extremely generous severance package if things don’t go their way.
It’s like everything is out of whack. Several countries in Europe are basically bankrupt and I heard on the weekend their new political strategy is to just pretend it’s not happening. A number of regimes are changing because they can’t maintain the support to put the austerity measures in place. The United States are so incredibly politically deadlocked they can’t pass any legislation meantime they are obsessed with the sexual exploits of their potential presidential candidates. I heard today they want to tax the middle class again instead of bothering the millionaires/billionaires. If things keep going like this I may have to join those demonstrators and pitch my own tent.
I was recently on a trip to an all-inclusive resort and it occurred to me several times that the cost of one week’s holiday equates to groceries for a whole year for a single Mom and her children. If everyone who “have” could give up some for the “have nots”, we would be in a much better place. Maybe think about it next time you buy something you really don’t need but probably really want.
I’ve found in my 50’s that acquiring “stuff” has lost its appeal. We will be downsizing our house and hopefully our tax bill along as I prepare to live on a fixed income. I won’t be able to volunteer my money anymore but I will make up for it with my time and energy.
Especially during this season, let’s do what we can for those less fortunate so they too can enjoy a happy and peaceful holiday.
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Post from: The Kay Way
The “Haves” versus the “Have-Nots”
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]]>This week a friend of mine wanted me to go out to dinner on Halloween. I said I couldn’t possibly do that because I had to get home to get ready for the kids. Whether or not I get a lot of kids, I’m always ready. Some years there aren’t too many because we’ve managed to scare our children to death but other years I get wiped out of candy. I’m writing this as I run back and forth to the door to distribute the goodies. Most of the kids this year are older. I’ll admit I’m a sucker for the little ones because they are so cute but as long as they have costumes I’ll give them candy.
Every year me and my husband debate or how much candy I should buy. Because I am always watching my weight, I buy popular candy that I don’t like except for this year (yummy chocolate and licorice) and I’ve already been into it big time. He always buys extra on the side and on several occasions I’ve had to tap into this stash. He never lets me forget it. But take heart my love in a couple of weeks your Mother will come down from Ottawa for your birthday with all her left over loot from Halloween and then you can hide it from me and enjoy it at your leisure.
So word to the wise, if you wanted to be loved by the kids in your neighborhood make sure you turn your light on and give out great candy and btw don’t try and give them a trick because that won’t cut it either. They want candy period! Now you know the rules.
I’ve gotta run now I have to answer the door. Happy Halloween
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Post from: The Kay Way
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]]>- I Would Rather Regret Something I Did Than Something I Didn’t Do
- Dancing In the Moment
- I Did It! I Quit My Job to Become a Life Coach
It’s been sixteen years since I’ve been in school other than training and courses taken in the work environment. I have started my journey to my next career. Yes, I am a boomer who seeks the next adventure on the path of life. Other generations rag on the baby boomers but you have to admit we have a penchant for re-inventing ourselves.
I started last weekend at Concordia University (Montreal) in the Professional and Personal Coaching Certificate program. It consists of 7 months of being coached and learning how to coach. What I didn’t understand when I first applied is the “being coached” part. The concept is that if you are not centered, present and grounded yourself that you can’t be so for your clients.
This is going to be a journey of discovery for me, likely some of which I won’t like but according to my psychic advisor I was put on this earth to “learn”. I have always sought out learning opportunities and have been curious to understand what makes people including myself, do what we do.
There is a great deal of misunderstanding of what a coach is and does. Coaches do not give people the answers, as a partnership the coach and coachee work together to discover the possibilities the coachee can harness to reach their potential and goals. The coachee leaves each session with a clear action plan and commitment to work to achieve their goals. It is definitely not therapy and the code of ethics is clear on this. A topic that the coach and coachee agree upon has to be one that is “coachable”.
During my career the most positive experiences I’ve had are when one of my employees or colleagues reaches a goal. That is my payoff; to be a participant or a catalyst of the process.
Getting back to formal studying is weird at my age but fortunately I have the support of my husband. The 24 other students are a varied and interesting group whom I’m sure will contribute to my learning and hopefully I will do so in return.
Wish me luck, if there are any coaches reading the blog please feel free to contribute as well as the usual suspects. In fact I’m looking for an ICF Certified Mentor Coach for my coaching. I’ve got to go now, I’ve got homework to do…
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Post from: The Kay Way
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]]>I’ll Call You When I need Some Poison
Related posts: Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.]]>So why do they pop up out of the blue and try to insert themselves back into our lives. I don’t get it. This can happen literally years later. Maybe they have a fantasized version of the end of the relationship that the door was not closed completely or it was still open a crack.
Let’s face it, some relationships are toxic. I remember trying to help (I should say save) a colleague because she had a lovely teenage daughter. Despite my ridiculous efforts to help her to become a good employee and a responsible Mother, there was no saving this woman. It completely drained me of my energy and well being. It was a learning experience however, and I am much more careful where I spend my emotional energy. In fairness to her she didn’t ask me to save her. Periodically she tries to reconnect and periodically I ignore her.
Well the door is not open; it is completely and permanently closed. Go forth and enjoy your lives but leave us alone please. We don’t want to be your friend on Facebook or anywhere else for that matter. If I haven’t made the slightest effort to see you or talk to you in years there is a good reason - at least in my mind.
Keeping relationships that are not healthy is not a sign of personal fortitude but an indicator you can’t let go of bad relationships. There are lots more people out there to meet and see if you can find real friendship and love where there is give and take. Good luck, hope you find a great one like I did. (Actually he found me but it doesn’t really matter)
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Post from: The Kay Way
I’ll Call You When I need Some Poison
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