The Indian life

If Christopher Nolan Were An Investment Banker……

noreply@blogger.com (TJ) — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 06:00:00 +0000

The levels of dream securitization that this movie presents will put even goliath’s of i-bankers to shame. Though unusual and creepy yet distant resemblance to “Potemkin villages” can be found in this movie. And unlike the movie dreamy projections, this was a real world manifestations, although differing means but the same purpose. I must say the movie jolted me out of my consciousness, thanks to such story line , where in i had difficulties to understand. But my eternal curiosity after being fed by elixirs of wisdom from my dear friends on some issues, finally i have come to the conclusion very much stating and supporting my limited idea and purpose behind my topic. …….

Why is everyone so enchanted by this much denounced yet hallowed profession (exceptions please don’t mind). And me too. The sweet aroma of greenbacks devoid of any exchange rate risk leverages our capital minds to such an extent that we are ready to build layers upon layers on nothing. Yet a dream job for many people. Sometimes it’s for good , sometimes it’s for bad. U need someone to blame, get them. U need someone to give u an advice , approach them. U need to write something spicy , involve them. . Perhaps i feel i-bankers have become the quintessential punching bags of our time. And the grave irony is that when a moviemaker follows the same in letter and spirits , he is given an italian leathered and french feathered red carpet and our poor bankers have to swallow deadly pills in the form of public humiliation and litigation prescribed by doctors of the so called government regulators .

But my protaganist doesn’t have to be like that yet still considering his litany’s of movies , i am bound to ask what if he were an i banker.

1 Dreams would be traded/sold in a tranche ranging from great to worse dream.

2 Wannabe i bankers would have been reading “ interpretation of dreams” by sigmund freud rather than myers and damodaran.

3 Psychologists would have been more in demand rather than a cfa level 3 .

4 Jokers would have been the favorite dealers.

5 The job’s prestige would have shifted from quantitative projections to illusion creations.

Aa - and indian ayurveda industry would have been the microsoft for these bankers.

The Method

noreply@blogger.com (TJ) — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 22:25:00 +0000

From :

What About Free Will?

I’ve recently arrived at the age where I am supposed to be in some sort of long term relationship. I’m past the age where people are expecting me to find someone “any day now” but before the age where people describe me as “independent.” Don’t get me wrong, I’m not opposed to this whole girl thing. I’m simply not very good at meeting women. Not that there is any flaw with me, mind you. There’s something about having two X chromosomes that makes girls bat-shit crazy. Some would argue there’s something about having one X chromosome that makes men assholes, but they are wrong. You shouldn’t believe a crazy person, you know.

In response to my personal tragedy, I’ve worked out a system for screening potential female companions. I hope to work this relationship thing out before I’m fifty, smelly, and just don’t care if I’m naked or not. When you’re as awkward as me, it’s a good idea to have a concrete method to fall back on, for like, everything. When I get gender-nervous I can just slowly rock back and forth in the fetal position while repeating, “Remember the system. Remember the system.”

I’m against friends introducing me to potential girlfriends as the introduction line is always, “This is Andrew; he’s really funny.” This leaves me in a situation where I have to absolutely prove I’m incredibly funny in a short period of time. This always fails because, shockingly, there is more to my personality than the enjoyment of humor.

When these introductions happen, I revert from very minimally controlling what I say to not controlling what I say at all. Usually, I am the kid that occasionally chirps in with a weird, but clever observation. I soon transition into the person that could only possibly be understood by being inside of their brain. Turns out most girls don’t respond to that sort of thing.

Since introductions are impossible, the burden of finding companionship lies solely on my shoulders. There are two sections to my method. The initial screening process is intended to avoid women who would do things like growl when I try to kiss them. Or set my car on fire if I forget the three month anniversary of our first trip to the zoo. Or think that the Twilight books are pretty good. This list, this numbered set of directions is the first leg of my dating journey. It is exactly how I find the elusive Dating Candidate.

1) Make new friends

2) See if there are any friends that are female and attractive (both physically and non). If there are none, return to step one. The criteria for attraction are extensive in themselves, but we won’t get into that now. I have other stuff to do, like find me a woman.

3) Once a woman that fits the above criteria has been found, talk to her often. Try not to follow her around. That apparently is a deal breaker.

4) Work up to asking her to a movie that is humorous in nature…or a Pixar film if she is one of those girls.

5) After the movie, demonstrate spontaneity by asking her to partake in ice cream at Dairy Queen. If the date took place in a town that does not have a Dairy Queen, return to step one.

6) Bluntly and awkwardly ask her if she would like to do anything like this again. If she says “Yes,” call her in two days, if she says “No,” return to step one.

~~7) Make a rash decision which will forever be regretted.~~

~~8) Get in a huge fight after you name your first born son Tad while your baby-momma is in post-delivery. Return to step one if necessary. Or two depending.~~

Once these six steps have been successfully completed, it’s time to find out if I actually like The Dating Candidate or not. The ultimate quest, of course, is to “go around the bases” with her. Please, I am not so shallow as to suggest my only goal is to kiss then touch then special touch then special hug these girls. Not that that would work anyways. The second portion of my method has a greater purpose than this. I’m sort of old fashioned in the fact that I date people with the idea that I will eventually marry one of them. I ‘spose I need to get with the times though…

Anyways, contrary to popular belief you don’t just go around the bases once. It’s not like you run round a diamond, touch four squares, and suddenly you get along perfectly with somebody with no chance of it ever falling apart. It doesn’t work like that. I have come to realize that you must actually go around the bases with a girl three times before you have any hope of knowing who she is, let alone even think of getting physical with her. I definitely favor using protection, but I’m sort of more preemptive about it. The thing is, I can find out more about a girl if she cries when she loses a sock than I can by kissing her.

This process, while tedious, is vital. If special care was not taken, I could totally end up with a girl that’s all goopy (in a bad way) and spend the rest of my life on a couch with her watching reality television. This process is exactly how complicated it needs to be, but unfortunately more so than the world is ready for. The conundrum is self-creating.

Note: Unlike the above list, the below is more a series of milestones rather than instructions. Also, intermittent dates are concurrently happening during this checklist.

The first time around the bases

First base: Talked on the phone for a couple of weeks

Second base: Helped her pick out a mundane item like a dustbuster or a silverware set.

Third base: Sent a rambling email at two in morning for pretty much no reason. She didn’t seem to mind.

Home: Had a nice discussion about (and found common ground on) interior decoration.

The second time around the bases

First base: Did something wrong on purpose just to see what she would do. Bought her roses to see how often, and for what infractions, I will have to do this in the future.

Second base: Got her to understand that I will never, ever dance with her.

Third base: Found out the woman was smarter than me. Panicked for a few days, but came to peace with the realization that this has happened to before.

Home: Became scared/confused that she makes sense to me, seems to like hanging around me, and has not tried to eat my spleen yet. Took a blood sample and set it into a lab to see if the woman was actually a dude all along.

The third time around the bases

First base: Assessed exactly how fertile the woman is. Examined her hips and asked myself the following questions: Are the hips childbearing in nature? Does she appear healthy enough to both produce milk for the young and continue about her daily labor? How likely is she come down with the typhus and become an invalid?

Second base: Asked her, hypothetically, what she would do if I were to give her a diamond ring and request something very legally binding of her. If the initial response was negative, tried upping the elaborateness of the hypothetical situation. Once agreement was reached, tried substituting the diamond ring for a house or a state-of-the-art kayak to see if I received the same response.

Third base: Actually carried out the hypothetical situation…without vomiting.

Home: Took a look at her “dirty pillows.” Made final decision.

The furthest I have ever gotten is to home on the second time around. This is usually the cut-off point for as far as my method will carry me. There just aren’t than many birthing hips out there anymore. I am saddened to report that this fool-proof method of finding the girl for me is not fool-proof. Often I will date a girl for several months before one day she turns to me and sweetly says, “Surprise! I’m crazy!” I’m not sure if the method has always worked by rooting out the insane, or has never worked since there is a definite brick-wall built into it. God damn it, now I’m all depressed.

So you see, I have at least thought out my feelings on this subject, even if I come across as horribly obsessive in the process. Maybe I just need to find someone that understands what I’m actually saying here, somebody that thinks like me. Oh dang, I definitely need to addthat to the list.

From :

What About Free Will?

Mumbai Rains

noreply@blogger.com (TJ) — Sat, 22 May 2010 04:00:00 +0000

Mumbai is one of those rare cities in India that has two seasons in a year - Summer and Monsoon - both in their extreme states. Once in two-three years we get to experience winter for a few days. Summer is really bad here. The moment you step out, you are drenched in sweat even before you reach the main gate of your building. I am now used to this humidity so much that if I go in some other city and I do not perspire, I feel Somethings wrong with the city …..

But the season i really hated here was monsoon, until now. Reasons - how many of you have heard of 26th July floods in Mumbai? If not, then click here to see the photographs of that nightmare. Mumbai drainage system is the worst. Whenever there is a continuous heavy down pour for five hours or more, the trains stop as the railway tracks are flooded. You may find stand still traffic almost everywhere, a 30 km journey takes more than 3 hours, roads are muddy and dirty, if you travel in a local train or a bus, then people stamp your feet without any regret, your clothes will be wet unless of course you wear rain coats even in train/bus and soaks someone else’s, you have to be alert like a soldier coz while standing anywhere an unannounced umbrella wire may get poked in your eye and or any other body parts not mentionable here :) .

But the monsoon in Mumbai is at its best when you keep all the above factors away and behave like a child enjoying the rains. Just take a walk near sea side, water draws you in their beauty, while waves touch your soul deep inside ( Wow that was poetic :) ). Bhutta wala, chai wala, chana chor garam wala and such make their presence felt too. You cannot stop yourself from buying those things and relish on them while it's raining.

I never appreciated rains so much in my life until now. These days, suddenly I have started falling in love with the monsoon. The rain drops lift my spirits instantly. Like a child, I feel like going out there and get wet, play in the rains, make paper boats, take a long walk or a Drive.

Have you ever had garma garam Bajji with spicy garlic chatni while getting wet in rains? Try it out. Go out there and have an ice cream. It tastes ten times better. Just stand at Marine Drive and let the waves kiss your cheeks. You will never want to leave that place. Drive around on the link road or Western express highways at midnight, you will be the luckiest if it's drizzling. Go out there with your loved ones, family and friends. Live each moment, experience each rain drop, feel each wave. Trust me, it feels like heaven……….

Who is your real Competitor ??

noreply@blogger.com (TJ) — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 10:35:00 +0000

An interesting lecture from IIM (Indian Institute of Management) professor.....

Who sells the largest number of cameras in India? Your guess is likely to be Sony, Canon or Nikon. Answer is none of the above. The winner is Nokia whose main line of business in India is not cameras but cell phones. Reason being cameras bundled with cell phones are outselling stand alone cameras. Now, what prevents the cell phone from replacing the camera outright? Nothing at all. One can only hope the Sonys and Canons are taking note.

Try this. Who is the biggest in music business in India? You think it is HMV Sa-Re-Ga-Ma? Sorry. The answer is Airtel. By selling caller tunes (that play for 30 seconds) Airtel makes more than what music companies make by selling music albums (that run for hours). Incidentally Airtel is not in music business. It is the mobile service provider with the largest subscriber base in India. That sort of competitor is difficult to detect, even more difficult to beat (by the time you have identified him he has already gone past you). But if you imagine that Nokia and Bharti (Airtel's parent) are breathing easy you can't be farther from truth.

Nokia confessed that they all but missed the Smartphone bus. They admit that Apple's Iphone and Google's Android can make life difficult in future. But you never thought Google was a mobile company, did you? If these illustrations mean anything, there is a bigger game unfolding. It is not so much about mobile or music or camera or emails. The "Mahabharata" (the great Indian epic battle) is about "what is tomorrow's personal digital device"? Will it be a souped up mobile or a palmtop with a telephone? All these are little wars that add up to that big battle. Hiding behind all these wars is a gem of a question – "who is my competitor?" Once in a while, to intrigue my students I toss a question at them. It says "What Apple did to Sony, Sony did to Kodak, explain?" The smart ones get the answer almost immediately. Sony defined its market as audio (music from the walkman). They never expected an IT company like Apple to encroach into their audio domain. Come to think of it, is it really surprising? Apple as a computer maker has both audio and video capabilities. So what made Sony think he won't compete on pure audio? "Elementary Watson". So also Kodak defined its business as film cameras, Sony defines its businesses as "digital." In digital camera the two markets perfectly meshed. Kodak was torn between going digital and sacrificing money on camera film or staying with films and getting left behind in digital technology. Left undecided it lost in both. It had to. It did not ask the question "who is my competitor for tomorrow?"

The same was true for IBM whose mainframe revenue prevented it from seeing the PC. The same was true of Bill Gates who declared "internet is a fad!" and then turned around to bundle the browser with windows to bury Netscape. The point is not who is today's competitor. Today's competitor is obvious. Tomorrow's is not.

In 2008, who was the toughest competitor to British Airways in India? Singapore airlines? Better still, Indian airlines? Maybe, but there are better answers. There are competitors that can hurt all these airlines and others not mentioned. The answer is videoconferencing and telepresence services of HP and Cisco. Travel dropped due to recession. Senior IT executives in India and abroad were compelled by their head quarters to use videoconferencing to shrink travel budget. So much so, that the mad scramble for American visas from Indian techies was nowhere in sight in 2008. (India has a quota of something like 65,000 visas to the U.S. They were going a-begging. Blame it on recession!). So far so good. But to think that the airlines will be back in business post recession is something I would not bet on. In short term yes. In long term a resounding no.

Remember, if there is one place where Newton's law of gravity is applicable besides physics it is in electronic hardware. Between 1977 and 1991 the prices of the now dead VCR (parent of Blue-Ray disc player) crashed to one-third of its original level in India. PC's price dropped from hundreds of thousands of rupees to tens of thousands. If this trend repeats then telepresence prices will also crash. Imagine the fate of airlines then. As it is not many are making money. Then it will surely be RIP! India has two passions. Films and cricket. The two markets were distinctly different. So were the icons.

The cricket gods were Sachin and Sehwag. The filmi gods were the Khans (Aamir Khan, Shah Rukh Khan and the other Khans who followed suit). That was, when cricket was fundamentally test cricket or at best 50 over cricket. Then came IPL and the two markets collapsed into one. IPL brought cricket down to 20 overs. Suddenly an IPL match was reduced to the length of a 3 hour movie. Cricket became film's competitor. On the eve of IPL matches movie halls ran empty. Desperate multiplex owners requisitioned the rights for screening IPL matches at movie halls to hang on to the audience. If IPL were to become the mainstay of cricket, as it is likely to be, films have to sequence their releases so as not clash with IPL matches. As far as the audience is concerned both are what in India are called 3 hour "tamasha" (entertainment). Cricket season might push films out of the market.

Look at the products that vanished from India in the last 20 years. When did you last see a black and white movie? When did you last use a fountain pen? When did you last type on a typewriter? The answer for all the above is "I don't remember!" For some time there was a mild substitute for the typewriter called electronic typewriter that had limited memory. Then came the computer and mowed them all. Today most technologically challenged guys like me use the computer as an upgraded typewriter. Typewriters per se are nowhere to be seen.

One last illustration. 20 years back what were Indians using to wake them up in the morning? The answer is "alarm clock." The alarm clock was a monster made of mechanical springs. It had to be physically keyed every day to keep it running. It made so much noise by way of alarm, that it woke you up and the rest of the colony. Then came quartz clocks which were sleeker. They were much more gentle though still quaintly called "alarms." What do we use today for waking up in the morning? Cell phone! An entire industry of clocks disappeared without warning thanks to cell phones. Big watch companies like Titan were the losers. You never know in which bush your competitor is hiding!

On a lighter vein, who are the competitors for authors? Joke spewing machines? (Steve Wozniak, the co-founder of Apple, himself a Pole, tagged a Polish joke telling machine to a telephone much to the mirth of Silicon Valley). Or will the competition be story telling robots? Future is scary! The boss of an IT company once said something interesting about the animal called competition.He said "Have breakfast …or…. be breakfast"! That sums it up rather neatly.

One thing that does Not and will Not changes is of course Human Values- No Competitor!!

Economics made simple with cows

noreply@blogger.com (TJ) — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 19:03:00 +0000

How do you easily explain varying economic models easily? In an updated take on an old classic, you use cows. This via email so I’m not sure where it came from originally, but it’s a good read.

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet is provided with the release which says something like A valuable lesson has been learned. The public then buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called ‘Cowkimon’ and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.

Investment Banker vs. Management Consultant

noreply@blogger.com (TJ) — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 19:17:00 +0000

I never knew that there was a huge fight between the bankers and the consultants
Just came across this awesome video which says it all ...

Read the blog ( original source http://www.mergersandinquisitions.com/banker-vs-consultant-why-the-banker-wins-with-a-knockout-in-round-1/ )

attached with the video, will give detailed explanations to novices ;)

“What’s missing from your resume is a focus on the results… I see all your recommendations and the projects you worked on, but I don’t see what happened as a result of your work.”

-McKinsey Recruiter to Me, 3 Years Ago

Some of you have asked about consulting (as in management consulting, not IT consulting ) vs. investment banking and which is “better” to pursue.

So here’s why investment bankers dominate management consultants, and why you should do banking.

The Myth: Bankers vs. Consultants Video

On the day the infamous Leveraged Sellout video was released, I received about 10 forwards from readers and friends, so I’m guessing almost everyone has seen it by now.

But just in case you haven’t, here it is again for good measure:

Although it’s fiction, the video does a surprisingly good job of summarizing the bankers vs. consultants debate.

“Be a Burnout Banker, Teaching Math at My Prep School”

There’s a lot of burnout in both fields. My management consultant friend almost quit after he had to work 14 hours on his birthday once. True, consultants get uninterrupted weekends… sometimes… but regardless of whether you’re a banker or consultant, you’re going to work a lot.

To imagine the schedule of a consultant, just take my Week in the Life series and add traveling to Idaho at the beginning of the week and coming back at the end of the week. Also delete all references to quantitative work and replace them with finger-painting.

“Nothing but Grunt Work”

Not quite.

There’s a lot of grunt work in both industries. In banking, it’s more quantitative and no one cares about offering “strategic insight” and putting things in quadrants – they just care what the Pro Forma EPS is.

“Make a Really Significant Impact and Get Home by 7:15″

I know of no consultants who get home by 7:15. One of my friends is an IT Consultant and even he doesn’t get home by 7:15.

So far, banking and consulting might seem similar… but let’s take a look at the first part of this claim – “Make a Really Significant Impact.”

Despite what the consultant argues, bankers typically make far more of an impact than consultants. True, some transactions fall apart, but when they happen you get a new public company or a new conglomerate.

By contrast, you never know if the recommendations consultants make will be implemented.

Got results?

“Mining for Gold out in Saskatchewan”

“Business travel” sounds cool to people who haven’t traveled much before, but it’s less appealing when you’re flying to Saskatchewan every week in February. Consultants are always on the road, and while bankers do travel occasionally, it is much less of a burden.

It’s fun to live in another country for an extended period, but it’s much less fun to travel back and forth every single week.

Plus, even if you are stationed in Saskatchewan you probably won’t discover any gold.

“You Try to Add Value… I Straight Create It”

At the junior level, no banker or consultant “creates value” and they rarely even “add value.” Senior bankers who negotiate on their clients’ behalf can sometimes “add value” by getting the buyer to pay more, but even that is rare.

Both banks and consulting firms are in the business of giving advice: advice on what to do financially and what to do operationally. Companies actually “create value.”

“House in the Hamptons and a Penthouse Loft”

Even at the market peak in mid-2007, 1st Year Analysts made only $150K ($60K base + $90K bonus). While that’s a lot of money for someone fresh out of school, it’s certainly not enough for a house in the Hamptons and a penthouse loft – especially after taxes.

Bankers do make more than consultants, but it will take quite some time to turn yourself into Gordon Gekko.

“But You Still Can’t Buy Bottles with Starwood Points”

True.

Consultants make a fraction of bankers’ bonuses – firms are notoriously secretive about exact numbers, but even in good times a $10K bonus isn’t unreasonable for consultants.

You could argue that they work a lot less and therefore make about the same hourly wage, but I’m not convinced. Sure, you won’t pull consistent 100-hour weeks in consulting, but it’s a lot more than 9-5, especially when you take into account the travel.

And even if it is more per hour, good luck having enough for bottles, let alone models.

“Take This Mouse and Get Back to Making $60K a Year”

Most consultants make more than $60K, but not by much.

However, they definitely don’t know how to use Excel properly – just ask that consultant we hired after I unplugged his mouse and he almost fainted.

The Consultant Formerly Known as Banker

One year, we hired a summer intern who was pretty good as far as investment banking interns go. He didn’t do anything stupid, he always smiled, and he even bought us drinks. But he “couldn’t take the hours” and he went to consulting full-time instead, in search of that elusive “work-life balance.”

I spoke with him the other day and he said the hours were pretty bad and he was being dragged around between 3 continents on clients’ whims – in other words, it was actually worse than banking, and he was getting paid less.

Damn, It Feels Good to Be a… Consultant?!

I didn’t continue with consulting because:

I hated constant travel.
I wanted to get tangible results rather than making “strategic recommendations” to management.
Oh yeah, I couldn’t tolerate making $60K a year. Even $70K is pushing it.
That said, you may still want to consider consulting if your original plan was finance:

Consulting is diversified in different industries, so the financial chaos won’t hit it quite as hard.
No consulting firms have subprime anything on their balance sheets.
You might still sneak into PE if you get lucky. Golden Gate Capital, for example, hires most of its Associates from Bain Consulting.
Rebuttal?

If you’re a consultant who now feels angered, feel free to write in with a rebuttal and I’ll publish some of the most entertaining responses. Make sure you also enclose some of those Starwood points.

Phew!!! what a blog.... original source
http://www.mergersandinquisitions.com/banker-vs-consultant-why-the-banker-wins-with-a-knockout-in-round-1/

Maruti Kizashi.... yet another good one from maruti

noreply@blogger.com (TJ) — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 18:56:00 +0000

Maruti's new product Maruti Kizashi is going to launch soon in Auto Expo which is on Jan 5th 2010 to 12th 2010. According to sources the price of that car was decided Rs. 12,00,000.

Maruti KizashiAccording to the company official, Maruti Kizashi will be powered by the 2.4L petrol engine the company also plans to launch it also with diesel option in Indian market because from past few months the sales of diesel cars in continously increasing in comparison to petrol models. Maruti Kizashi will be packed with latest new generation safety features like airbags, cruise control system, parking sensors, ABS (Antilock Brake System) with EBD (Electronic Brakeforce Distribution) etc.

See the below specifications of that car

VEHICLE SUMMARY

Name: Kizashi
Model: 2.4 AWD
Car Body Type: Sedan
Segment: D Segment
Warranty: NA

ENGINE SPECIFICATIONS

Displacement: 2400cc, 4 Cylinder
Engine Type: Diesel
Maximum Power: 200 Bhp (Expected)
Maximum Torque: 0

DIMENSIONS

Length: 4650 mm
Width: 1900 mm
Height: 1450 mm

OTHER SPECIFICATIONS

Seating Capacity: 5
Tyre Size: 18" Alloys
Suspension: NA
Steering: Tilt
Brakes: Front Ventilated, Rear Disk
Gears: 6 Manual
Body Color Bumpers: True
Tachometer: True
Alloys: True
ORVM Indicator: False
Xenon Headlamps: True
Trip Meter: 2
Headlamp Washer: False

COMFORT AND CONVENIENCE

AC: AC with Dual Zone Climate Control
Power Windows: True
Central Locking: Remote
Remote Boot: True
Remote Fuel Filler: True
Rear Wiper: False
Rear Defogger: True
Rear Armrest: With Cup Holder
Streeing Adjustment
(Rake/Reach): True/False
Driver Seat Adjustment: Electric
Music System: Dash Integrated MP3
Leather Seats: False
Door Mirror: Driver Side Electric
Tinted Glass: True
Rear AC Vent: True
Folding Rear Seats: True
Sun Roof: True
Buttons/Controls on Steering: True
Auto Viper: False
Auto Headlamp: False

ACTIVE AND PASSIVE SAFETY

Airbag: 8
Parking Sensors: True
Fog Lamp: True
Traction Control: True
EBD: True
ABS: True
ESP: True

Choices

noreply@blogger.com (TJ) — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 19:44:00 +0000

I have always wondered whether I made the right choices in life. Not career wise, I am quite happy doing what I am doing ;) but thinking about it in life wise. Should I have done this or that. Some choices I made may have been horribly wrong ones to begin with . Sometimes I just feel how good it would have been if we had ctrl+z facility in life. We could have prevented hurting the ones we really like. The thing is that I have been too calculative, not in bad terms but like a decision tree. If I do this , this would be the probability of long term happiness something like a long term planner- Always looks beyond and forgets about the short term happiness or the possible not assured long term happiness. The thing is unless you realize you have the power to say yes, you can never really say no. Actually you are scared to say the yes and just go ahead, just worrying about worries.

I always feel we might make the decision to give in and take the path of least resistance. If we go for immediate gratification we usually end up in unhappy conditions and we feel less fulfilled than that we had hoped for.

Every choice that we make leads us either away from our destiny or right into our destiny where we will experience life to the fullest.

If u haven’t understood anything u have read forgive me. it is just the ramblings of a confused mind.

BMW's used car ad - Logical ad

noreply@blogger.com (TJ) — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 13:02:00 +0000

AM I WITH RIGHT PERSON?

noreply@blogger.com (TJ) — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 19:42:00 +0000

I came across this really thoughtful article in my friends blog . It discusses about the relationships and the most daunting question which everyone (involved in a relationship) asks himself sooner or later. Do read it…

NOTE: You can replace the word “marriage” by “relationship”, incase u r single . Still everything remains the same.

AM I WITH RIGHT PERSON?

During one of my live seminars, a woman asked me a common question. She said, “How do I know if I married the right person?”

I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, “It depends. Is that your husband?”

In all seriousness, how do you know?

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love…because it’s happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, “I was swept of my feet.” Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling is love is easy. It’s a passive and spontaneous experience.

But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It’s the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, “Did I marry the right person?” And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it.

I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully) THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN RELATIONSHIP IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT’S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It’ll NEVER just happen to you. You can’t “find” LASTING love. You have to “make” it day in and day out. That’s why we have the expression “the labor of love.” Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

And make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It’s a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable—you can “make” love.

- Original Author – Unknown
- Reference : http://www.great-inspirational-quotes.com/how-do-you-know-if-you-married-the-right-person.html

Thanks to Omkar http://omkarck.wordpress.com/2009/11/17/am-i-with-the-right-person/#more-165

Judge it yourself

noreply@blogger.com (TJ) — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 18:45:00 +0000

Thanks to my friend Tushar
At last I can share with you all the best practical sayings by our Law professor.

1) Excellence is the worst possible enemy of the possible good.
2) Marriage: A horrible public announcement of strictly private affairs.
3) Thou shalt not corrupt.
4) Gold is not gold until it is burnished.
5) Always be great full to the person on whose ladder you climb.
6) Obedience is 2/3 knowledge.
7) The law of the country follows the passport.
8) Ignoranca judicia,No excussia!!
9) never damn by faint praise.
10) A parent outside home??A Good Faculty !!
11) Nike: Just do it !! But "DO" what??
12) Others work, Successful network!!
13) Never say yes when you want to say no !!

Oversimplified Job Descriptions - Don’t Put These on Your Resume!

noreply@blogger.com (TJ) — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 21:13:00 +0000

Presenting Oversimplified Job Descriptions:

• Divorce Lawyer – Help people hate each other.

• College Professor –Talk in other people’s sleep.

• Civil Engineer – Draw up plans for something that will never be built according to those plans.

• Video Game Creator – Teach kids to be evil…or so they say.

• Cinema Concession Stand Attendant – Sell gluttony.

• Government Analyst – Tell people that they can’t spend money they thought they had.

• Microbiologist – Move things from one tube to another.

• Astronomer – Misinterpret the universe.

• B-52 Bomber pilot - Manage urban renewal and pest control.

• Security Guard – Run away and call the police.

• Student – Copy and paste the Internet.

• Lawyer – Take a simple two-way promise and turn it into several complicated one-way promises which neither side can understand or hope to fulfill.

• Musician – Wear a tuxedo and smash metal plates into each other.

• Sailing Instructor – Persuade kids that it’s really fun being wet, cold and scared out of their minds.

• Tax Accountant – Take numbers on pieces of paper, rearrange them and put them on different pieces of paper.

• Incident Manager – Call people who know what they’re doing and ask them what they’re doing.

• Quality Assurance Tester – Make people feel bad about their work.

• IT Director –Repeatedly fix what you repeatedly break.

• Technical Writer – Write things that no one wants to read.

• Fast Food Employee – Make food that is as healthy before it goes in your body as when it comes back out.

• Student – Read things that don’t matter, then write papers saying they do matter, for points that don’t matter, in order to get a job doing something totally unrelated.

• Physicist – Learn laws created ages ago so you can tell engineers why you are smarter than they are while complaining how it’s a travesty that they get paid more.

• Fireworks Stand Manager – Show you innovative ways to burn money in the spirit of patriotism.

• Business Intelligence Consultant – Help people lie consistently to their bosses.

• TV Ads Director – Make corporate propaganda feel like folksy truthisms.

THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

noreply@blogger.com (TJ) — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 05:49:00 +0000

The lessons in management

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob , the next-door neighbor..

Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'

'It was Bob the next door neighbor,' she replies.

'Great,' the husband says , 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'

Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure..

Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift.

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone..

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch'

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients..'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch..

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Lesson 6

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy..
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your
friend.

(3 ) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep
your mouth shut!

THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

Not together…it’s 'Two'gether!

noreply@blogger.com (TJ) — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 19:53:00 +0000

Featured blogs from DENCY ELIZABETH MATHEW.... Her attack on "male species"

I say roses, you say guns. I say blue, you say grey. I say Simpsons, you say South Park. I say shopping, you say ESPN. I say “Miss you”, you say “Kiss you?”

Almost One lakh and twenty three books down and still no definite answer. Five thousand and sixty three debates and talk shows and it’s still a mystery. Twenty three thousand shrinks have still not managed to solve this problem. Well, Why are men are from mars and women from venus?
No, I am not going to be the expert and answer this now almost revered question. I’m merely going to attempt what can be called the ‘Dency version’ of why men and women come from different planets, make that galaxy actually.

I think whoever said ‘Man is a thinking animal’ was just kidding with us. Coz i don't believe than Man (read male) can think or feel (except when hit at their crotch). And what most females do is just that – Think, think and think some more (Paris Hilton exempted).

Even if I give the male species the benefit of a thinking mind, I still doubt they will ever think like females. Scientifically too it has been proven that not only do men and women think differently in a given situation, but the way they use their brains in this situation differs significantly too. Women have larger connections and more frequent interaction between their brain's left and right hemispheres. This makes women better at verbal skills and intuition. Thats why we can talk, talk and talk some more. And thats also why everytime you cheat, your girl somehow knows about it.

Men, on the other hand, have greater brain hemisphere separation which explains their skills for abstract reasoning and visual intelligence. Hence they rather follow vague maps than ask for directions. This is also why just a poster of Salma Hayek is enough to turn on a guy while a female needs more coffee conversations to keep her smitten.

Also, its true isn't it when you say men think from their brains while females listen to their heart. And yes men and women also do come from different chromosomes which may also be the primary reason for their differences. But can men and women never think alike? Can men ever use their heart for things more than a by pass surgery or a transplant? Can they feel emotions without a show of tears? Can women ever think only from their mind? Can they ever be smarter at matters of the heart and accounts? Can man and woman ever come together as one thinking mind and not two minds? Can a guy ever say 'Lets paint the walls pink' and can a girl ever say 'Lets get a PS3'?

Frankly, I don’t know the answer. If those 'Understand your man or woman better' and Shobha De books havent helped, who am I! But maybe, just maybe in some corner of the world a woman is understanding her man better and vice versa. And maybe there actually is a guy somewhere right now who doesn't run in fear or hide his face and instead looks up with pride when his girl says the most adorable, romantic and lovely three words - 'Hold my purse'.

My reply :
You have a flair for writing yaar .... i am going to feature this blog in my blogs .... hope u don't mind ;-)

just a few comments .....
Disclaimer: Comments are not my personal opinion abt any matter mentioned above .. they r just a tool to irritate her online. Dency , Please don't send ur pack of feminist friends after me ;-)...

'Hold my purse' the most adorable, romantic and lovely three words u tell ur man .... great ;-) god help him ... a guy can say paint walls pink ... many fathers do that for their daughters quite happily ... who says salma hayek turns guys on .... we have moved on .... we follow vague maps because we have a tendency to use our brains most of the time rather than depend on someone ;-) I am not commenting abt thinking coz everyone knows the TRUTH

The Swiss Indian love affair will ends soon .... hopefully

noreply@blogger.com (TJ) — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 17:46:00 +0000

Latest update after Swiss Bank has agreed to disclose the funds….

Our Indians' Money - 70, 00,000 Crores Rupees In Swiss Bank

1) Yes, 70 lakhs crores rupees of India are lying in Switzerland banks. This is the highest amount lying outside any country, from amongst 180countries of the world, as if India is the champion of Black Money.

2) Swiss Government has officially written to Indian Government that they are willing to inform the details of holders of 70 lakh crore rupees in their Banks, if Indian Government officially asks them.

3) On 22-5-08, this news has already been published in The Times of India and other Newspapers based on Swiss Government's official letter to Indian Government.

4) But the Indian Government has not sent any official enquiry toSwitzerland for details of money which has been sent outside India between 1947 to 2008.. The opposition party is also equally not interested in doing so because most of the amount is owned by politicians and it is every Indian's money.

5) This money belongs to our country. From these funds we can repay 13 times of our country's foreign debt. The interest alone can take care of the Center’s yearly budget. People need not pay any taxes and we can pay Rs. 1 lakh to each of 45 crore poor families.

6) Let us imagine, if Swiss Bank is holding Rs. 70 lakh Crores, then how much money is lying in other 69 Banks? How much they have deprived the Indian people? Just think, if the Account holder dies, the bank becomes the owner of the funds in his account.

7) Are these people totally ignorant about the philosophy of Karma? What will this ill-gotten wealth do to them and their families when they own/use such money, generated out of corruption and exploitation?

8) Indian people have read and have known about these facts. But the helpless people have neither time nor inclination to do anything in the matter. This is like "a new freedom struggle" and we will have to fight this.

9) This money is the result of our sweat and blood.. The wealth generated and earned after putting in lots of mental and physical efforts by Indian people must be brought back to our country.

10) As a service to our motherland and your contribution to this struggle, please circulate this note amongst your friends and relatives and convert it into a mass movement.

Fund of funds @JBIMS

noreply@blogger.com (TJ) — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 19:04:00 +0000

I had started playing the event called fund of funds by JBIMS this week. Round 1 consisted of Four day online event. We had 10 crores /100 million rs as our initial capital and we were allowed to invest in Benchmark mutual funds. Made a decent return of 92+ lakhs /9.2 million rs in 4 days ;-). Got selected in the final round (top 10) and went to JB today.

Here the real story begins ….

Reached JB at 1:15 for a 2 pm event. Attended Prahlad Kakkar’s talk on role of MBA’s in film industry. Had to leave mid way… Actually expected much more from a Prahald Kakkar’s talk but on a positive note got some insight on role of MBA in media.

Now the event … we were told to design a complete mutual fund with an offer document in 3 hrs flat. I lost half an hour lappy problems. Couldn’t connect to net. JBIMS guys Bijoy Shah and Hardik Shah helped us a lot. Quite cool guys actually ;-)… Made a diversified portfolio with large cap and mid cap stocks . In the presentation I project my mutual fund as diversified fund with a mixture of high return large cap and mid cap stocks , In portfolio analysis judge pointed out that I had on 12% allocation to mid cap ;-( and my MF was a large cap fund . Accepted the point gracefully. And completed the presentation much better that I had hoped for .

What did I gain from fund of funds …. met some guys from the best B schools in India , I was the Youngest guy in the final and the only first year guy ;-) (confidence level add on)

Hope this helps for the Preparation for next years contest season

(Attempted) Great Train Robbery

noreply@blogger.com (TJ) — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 06:40:00 +0000

I always believed that MY MUMBAI was very safe . I have stayed here all my life , 24 yrs!!!!. But today I was very much disappointed, I was travelling in the train at evening 6:30 and somebody (almost) robbed me of my cell. He managed to remove my cell from my jeans pocket, luckily within seconds I realised that my cell was missing. I was little shaken to react in that jam-packed train, how could it happen to me. I just panicked and screamed “Mera mobile chori ho gaya “ (you should have seen me , that’s what my friends told me ) and my friends Ajay and Ashish used their presence of mind and dialled my cell number. IT RANG !!!! in that crowded compartment somehow we could hear it ring somewhere ;-) . The thief couldn’t mange to switch off my cell since the working of the touch screen cells a re little complicated. And he threw the cell down in the compartment and I found it.

I don’t know who was the thief, the guys in the compartment caught one guy and were convinced that he was the one. But i just didn’t want to fuel it because u never know he may be the innocent one and the gang may be trying to frame him. Just left the matter there , was happy to have my cell back.

One thing I learnt from this incidence is that never be overconfident about anything . IT MAY JUST HAPPEN YOU. Two of my friends have already lost their cell since our college began ( borivali - vile parle route).

So incase u are a new person @Mumbai Beware Trains may just prove too costly

Theory papers!!!!!!!!!!

noreply@blogger.com (TJ) — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 01:14:00 +0000

After 2 years I got back into the habit of giving theory papers.

6 theory papers in a week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Believe me guys (especially if u were working for sometime) u will find theory papers utter waste of time. I am from science background and I really don’t know how to give gyan* in papers . Throughout my life I have given to the point answers ;-)… But here at MBA u need to give GYAN

(GYAN= A concept which can be explained in 2 sentences written in atleast 2 pages)

I think managers need to acquire this skill …… IT guys will be able to relate to this or might have definitely experienced similar GYANS I suppose ;-)

Anyways coming back to the theory papers , I didn’t know what I was writing in CSR and IDL paper. My friends happened to narrate all the concepts they read* in every answer ( Narrate is intentional used) . I had prepared more than decently for IDL but relate all the psychological concepts to absurd situations ….. way out of my league. Atleast one thing is clear after my first trimester exams HR definitely NO NO.

* ( reading is approximately equivalent to scanning the huge book in 4-5 hrs, anything more than that is studying)

One of my friend kept a target of atleast 2 pages for all the answers. And he did a great job at it.

Whats clause 49 ? he didn’t know head or tail about it .. but he logically deducted that the answer may be related to corporate governance chapter . And he managed to surpass his target, MORE THAN 3 PAGES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now he’s a real manager .

Poster presentation :Dikawe pe mat jao, apni akal lagao!

noreply@blogger.com (TJ) — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 04:47:00 +0000

Now that’s a new stuff for me . I have never given a poster presentation in my life. This was one of the course requirements for CSR . Here this is my poster . For the complete 3 feet x 6 feet poster click below.

For detailed viewing : http://i34.tinypic.com/1zclljn.jpg

Now I made this poster with international guidelines. Only pointers and important data. But got royally screwed on the poster presentation day.

Judge 1: listened to all our gyan and analysis and suddenly …. Why is the revenue chart in the middle (She just didn't get it we were finance guys, CSR mein bhi fin)…. Gyan Radio ON …. But she was not satisfied, she just didn’t want the revenue chart there. In retrospective analysis ...... Probably she hated Finance

Judge 2: Listened to us patiently and discussed a lot of stuff with us. She also told us about elevator pitch used in corporates.

She said she was happy with our work and she gave us the lowest marks ;-(

Now that’s what we call perception error (from our side) or rather to be precise a PROJECTION BIAS … ID

In simple words

Dikawe pe mat jao, apni akal lagao!

veryyyyy important concept in MBA

Things to do at CC

noreply@blogger.com (TJ) — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 11:41:00 +0000

CC is our own computer centre @ NMIMS . Although I have been very decent guy at CC these thoughts have crossed my mind sometimes . Probably some of you brave sould can try this out someday ;-)

We have better dell computers now . This image is quite old

Never make the entry in the log book . Let the guard chase you for sometime. Tell him “ you can’t read or write “
Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream "Oh my God! They''ve found me!" and boot.
Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes. Then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.
When your computer is turned off, complain to the guard on duty that you can''t get the damn thing to work. After it has been turned on, wait 5 minutes, turn it off again, and repeat the process.
Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you suspiciously.
Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to different screen than the one it''s set up with.
Write a program that plays the "NMIMS anthem” and play it at the highest volume possible over & over again(you need to get your own speakers for this).
Work normally for a while. Suddenly look amazingly startled by something on the screen and just leave the computer and dash out of the lab.
Make a small ritual sacrifice to the computer before you turn it on.
Whenever there is processing time required, pray "Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," and scream "YES!" when it finishes.

Proposal with inequalities ;)

noreply@blogger.com (TJ) — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 18:48:00 +0000

Too much of mathematics leads to overlooking some proposals ;)

The vital proposal and the lame excuse

thanks to omkar
http://omkarck.wordpress.com/

DR. A. P. J. Abdul Kalam 's Speech

noreply@blogger.com (TJ) — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 18:17:00 +0000

Please read this article by giving 10 minutes from your busy life. Really good....

The President of India DR. A. P. J. Abdul Kalam 's Speech in Hyderabad .

Why is the media here so negative?
Why are we in India so embarrassed to recognize our own strengths, our achievements? We are such a great nation. We have so many amazing success stories but we refuse acknowledge them--- Why?
We are the first in milk production.
We are number one in Remote sensing satellites.
We are the second largest producer of wheat.
We are the second largest producer of rice.
Look at Dr. Sudarshan , he has transferred the tribal village into a self-sustaining, self-driving unit.

There are millions of such achievements but our media is only obsessed in the bad news and failures and disasters.

I was in Tel Aviv once and I was reading the Israeli newspaper. It was the day after a lot of attacks and bombardments and deaths had taken place. The Hamas had struck. But the front page of the newspaper had the picture of a Jewish gentleman who in five years had transformed his desert into an orchid and a granary. It was this inspiring picture that everyone woke up to. The gory details of killings, bombardments, deaths, were inside in the newspaper, buried among other news.

In India we only read about death, sickness, terrorism, crime.

Why are we so NEGATIVE?

Another question: Why are we, as a nation so obsessed with foreign things? We want foreign T. Vs, we want foreign shirts. We want foreign technology.

Why this obsession with everything imported. Do we not realize that self-respect comes with self-reliance? I was in Hyderabad giving this lecture,when a 14 year old girl asked me for my autograph. I asked her what her goal in life is. She replied: I want to live in a developed India . For her, you and I will have to build this developed India . You must proclaim. India is not an under-developed nation; it is a highly developed nation.

Do you have 10 minutes? Allow me to come back with a vengeance.

Got 10 minutes for your country? If yes, then read; otherwise, choice is yours.
YOU say that our government is inefficient.
YOU say that our laws are too old.
YOU say that the municipality does not pick up the garbage.
YOU say that the phones don't work, the railways are a joke,
The airline is the worst in the world, mails never reach their destination.
YOU say that our country has been fed to the dogs and is the absolute pits.

YOU say, say and say.. What do YOU do about it?

Take a person on his way to Singapore . Give him a name - YOURS. Give him aface - YOURS. YOU walk out of the airport and you are at your International best. In Singapore you don't throw cigarette butts on the roads or eat in the stores. YOU are as proud of their Underground links as they are. You pay $5 (approx. Rs. 60) to drive through Orchard Road (equivalent of Mahim Causeway or Pedder Road ) between 5 PM and 8 PM. YOU come back to the parking lot to punch your parking ticket if you have over stayed in a restaurant or a shopping mall irrespective of your status identity... In Singapore you don't say anything, DO YOU?

YOU wouldn't dare to eat in public during Ramadan, in Dubai .

YOU would not dare to go out without your head covered in Jeddah .

YOU would not dare to buy an employee of the telephone exchange in London at 10 pounds ( Rs.650) a month to, 'see to it that my STD and ISD calls are billed to someone else.'

YOU would not dare to speed beyond 55 mph (88 km/h) in Washington and then tell the traffic cop,'Jaanta hai main kaun hoon (Do you know who I am?). I am so and so's son. Take your two bucks and get lost.'

YOU wouldn't chuck an empty coconut shell anywhere other than the garbage pail on the beaches in Australia and New
Zealand

Why don't YOU spit Paan on the streets of Tokyo ? Why don't YOU use examination jockeys or buy fake certificates in Boston ??? We are still talking of the same YOU..

YOU who can respect and conform to a foreign system in other countries but cannot in your own. You who will throw papers and cigarettes on the road the moment you touch Indian ground. If you can be an involved and appreciative citizen in an alien country, why cannot you be the same here in India ?

Once in an interview, the famous Ex-municipal commissioner of Bombay , Mr. Tinaikar , had a point to make. 'Rich people's dogs are walked on the streets to leave their affluent droppings all over the place,' he said. 'And then the same people turn around to criticize and blame the authorities for inefficiency and dirty pavements. What do they expect the
officers to do? Go down with a broom every time their dog feels the pressure in his bowels? In America every dog owner has to clean up after his pet has done the job. Same in Japan . Will the Indian citizen do that here?' He's right. We go to the polls to choose a government and after that forfeit all responsibility.

We sit back wanting to be pampered and expect the government to do everything for us whilst our contribution is totally negative. We expect the government to clean up but we are not going to stop chucking garbage all over the place nor are we going to stop to pick up a stray piece of paper and throw it in the bin.

We expect the railways to provide clean bathrooms but we are not going to learn the proper use of bathrooms.

We want Indian Airlines and Air India to provide the best of food and toiletries but we are not going to stop pilfering at the least opportunity.

This applies even to the staff who is known not to pass on the service to the public. When it comes to burning social issues like those related to women, dowry, girl child! and others, we make loud drawing room protestations and continue to do the reverse at home. Our excuse?

'It's the whole system which has to change, how will it matter if I alone forego my sons' rights to a dowry.' So who's going to change the system? What does a system consist of ? Very conveniently for us it consists of our neighbor's, other households, other cities, other communities and the government. But definitely not me and YOU.

When it comes to us actually making a positive contribution to the system we lock ourselves along with our families into a safe cocoon and look into the distance at countries far away and wait for a Mr.Clean to come along & work miracles for us with a majestic sweep of his hand or we leave the country and run away. Like lazy cowards hounded by our fears we run to America to bask in their glory and praise their system. When New York becomes insecure we run to England . When England experiences unemployment, we take the next flight out
to the Gulf. When the Gulf is war struck, we demand to be rescued and brought home by the Indian government. Everybody is out to abuse and rape the country. Nobody thinks of feeding the system. Our conscience is mortgaged to money.

Dear Indians, The article is highly thought inductive, calls for a greatdeal of introspection and pricks one's conscience too.... I am echoing J. F. Kennedy 's words to his fellow Americans to relate to Indians.....

'ASK WHAT WE CAN DO FOR INDIA
AND DO WHAT HAS TO BE DONE TO MAKE INDIA
WHAT AMERICA AND OTHER WESTERN COUNTRIES ARE TODAY'

Lets do what India needs from us.

Forward this mail to each Indian for a change

Thank you,
Dr. Abdul Kalaam

Interview Tips: How To Nail An Interview (20 Tips)

noreply@blogger.com (TJ) — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 17:00:00 +0000

Interview Tips: How To Nail An Interview (20 Tips)

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You too can win arguments

noreply@blogger.com (TJ) — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 16:46:00 +0000

Just stumbled upon this article somewhere ....
I am sure this will be helpful for giving Gyan anywhere ... have fun reading it
and may be implementing it somewhere down the line

By Dave Barry
And not by Stuart J. Williams, Attorney at Law

I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me. You too can win arguments. Simply follow these rules:

Drink liquor.
Suppose you are at a party and some hotshot intellectual is expounding on the economy of Peru, a subject you know nothing about. If you're drinking some health-fanatic drink like grapefruit juice, you'll hang back, afraid to display your ignorance, while the hotshot enthralls your date. But if you drink several large martinis, you'll discover you have STRONG VIEWS about the Peruvian economy. You'll be a WEALTH of information. You'll argue forcefully, offering searing insights and possibly upsetting furniture. People will be impressed. Some may leave the room.

Make things up.
Suppose, in the Peruvian economy argument, you are trying to prove that Peruvians are underpaid, a position you base solely on the fact that YOU are underpaid, and you'll be damned if you're going to let a bunch of Peruvians be better off. DON'T say: "I think Peruvians are underpaid." Say instead: "The average Peruvian's salary in 1981 dollars adjusted for the revised tax base is $1,452.81 per annum, which is $836.07 before the mean gross poverty level."

NOTE: Always make up exact figures.
If an opponent asks you where you got your information, make THAT up too. Say: "This information comes from Dr. Hovel T. Moon's study for the Buford Commission published on May 9, 1982. Didn't you read it?" Say this in the same tone of voice you would use to say, "You left your soiled underwear in my bathroom."

Use meaningless but weighty-sounding words and phrases.
Memorize this list:

Let me put it this way
In terms of
Vis-a-vis
Per se
As it were
Qua
Ipso facto
Ergo
So to speak
You should also memorize some Latin abbreviations such as "Q.E.D.", "e.g.", and "i.e." These are all short for "I speak Latin, and you don't." Here's how to use these words and phrases. Suppose you want to say, "Peruvians would like to order appetizers more often, but they don't have enough money."

You never win arguments talking like that. But you WILL win if you say, "Let me put it this way. In terms of appetizers vis-a-vis Peruvians qua Peruvians, they would like to order them more often, so to speak, but they do not have enough money per se, as it were. Ergo, ipso facto, case closed. Q.E.D."

Only a fool would challenge that statement.

Use snappy and irrelevant comebacks.
You need an arsenal of all-purpose irrelevant phrases to fire back at your opponents when they make valid points. The best are:

You're begging the question.
You're being defensive.
Don't compare apples to oranges.
What are your parameters?
This last one is especially valuable. Nobody (other than engineers and policy wonks) has the vaguest idea what "parameters" means.

Don't forget the classic: YOU'RE SO LINEAR.

Here's how to use your comebacks:

You say: As Abraham Lincoln said in 1873...
Your opponent says: Lincoln died in 1865.
You say: You're begging the question.
You say: Liberians, like most Asians...
Your opponent says: Liberia is in Africa.
You say: You're being defensive.
You say: Since the discovery of the incandescent light bulb...
Your opponent says: The light bulb is an invention.
You say: Well DUH!

Compare your opponent to Adolf Hitler.
This is your heavy artillery, for when your opponent is obviously right and you are spectacularly wrong. Bring Hitler up subtly. Say, "That sounds suspiciously like something Adolf Hitler might say," or "You certainly do remind me of Adolf Hitler."

NMIMS day 3

noreply@blogger.com (TJ) — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 16:05:00 +0000

Today we had the final case discussion for ACC shivranjini . Amazing viewpoints by everyone in the class regarding the case . Our professor Venna Vohra and Dr Amit Srivastava (IIM A) gave us the KASH method of learning .
WE got a mail last night at 12 about a report assignment to be submitted by 30 hours after reading a 400 page book ;-( . Almost done with that .

Must admit the orientation is fun learning and much better than i had expected . Atlast started learning something with a lotta interest ;-)