The Incompetent Cook

The Incompetently Prepared Panini

Henry — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 08:26:16 +0000

Sandwiches are awesome by themselves, but are even moreso when said sandwich is a panini sandwich. Why? Because panini is Italian for “awesome.” Then again, what else would you expect from a sandwich that has requires its own specialized appliance? Since I am not only an incompetent cook but a penniless bum as well, I [...]

My $1.50 savior

Henry — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 10:06:18 +0000

In addition to being an incompetent cook, these days I am also an unemployed bum. Consequently, there is not much money to spend on things like halfway decent ingredients for… well, anything. Despite this, my body still expresses a strong desire to eat on a regular basis. To satiate my never-ending hunger, I spend most of [...]

Sure, he’s incompetent, but he can’t mess up toast again, right?… right?

Henry — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 00:00:33 +0000

I thought I had my crouton issues solved. I thought that my forays into the world of crouton-creating would never again be written about on this blog. I thought that I was mature enough to get up from my video game when the alarm went off on the oven that signaled the completion of the crouton-cooking cycle. I [...]

That’s going to be spicy

Henry — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 08:30:17 +0000

Last week, I realized I was out of chili powder. Being the kind of guy who restocks things I’m out of that I will need at a later date, I bought some more. Two days ago, I thought I was out of chili powder and bought another container of the stuff, completely ignoring the fact that [...]

No Need to Knead, part 3: Knead Hard with a Vengeance

Henry — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 08:53:21 +0000

Look at it. Gaze upon it. Admire it. After two unsuccessful attempts, I have finally produced a loaf of bread worthy of being consumed. That’s right, loaf of bread. I’m going to eat you. Yeah, I’m talking to you. I don’t see any other loaves of bread around here, do you? No, I didn’t think so.

Sure, he’s incompetent, but he can’t mess up toast, right?… right?

Henry — Sat, 06 Jun 2009 03:44:09 +0000

Nothing could be easier to make than croutons, right? They’re basically nothing more than toasted chunks of bread, right? All I have to do is follow the recipe, right? There is no way that even I could mess this up, right? To the left, please observe my first attempt at making croutons. Both trays were prepared [...]

Blueberry Muffins with Cinnamon Crumbly Stuff on Top

Henry — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 12:10:54 +0000

I made some blueberry muffins. No horror story this time. Instead, I will savor the sweet, sweet taste of success. And I’m not joking about the “sweet” part: there’s almost a cup and a half of pure sugar in these things. Which is what makes them awesome.

No need to knead part 2: Knead Harder

Henry — Tue, 26 May 2009 06:30:31 +0000

After my initial failure at baking a loaf of bread, I could have given up and returned to the world of store-bought bread. That is what a sane person might have done. Fortunately for this blog, my grasp on reality is tenuous at best and I gave this whole breadmaking thing another shot. Loaf number two [...]

No need to knead? Kneat!

Henry — Fri, 22 May 2009 07:52:33 +0000

Because I am insane, I recently had the thought that it would be a good idea for me to attempt to bake my own loaf of bread from scratch. Never mind the fact that I’ve never worked with raw bread dough before, didn’t have the proper equipment and had no one to teach me about [...]