The I Love You Blog

Valentine Conspiracies and Questions...

noreply@blogger.com (I Love You) — Thu, 14 Feb 2013 18:26:00 +0000

Okaaayyeeee, I attempted to upload the above image of my youngest son's Valentine bookmarks that he made for his classmates, and Blogger sent me to the CIA? It's a Valentine's conspiracy, I tells ya!

Before the detour, I meant to write that I'd like to develop some sort of love curriculum for the classroom, but I have no idea what it would include. Anti-bullying workshops are wonderful and sex ed. is great, but what would pro-love education look like? A parent-friend complained that school Valentine's Day parties are empty calories, Disney cards, and dollar store junk. I wondered how they could be updated, as I still think the holiday is a good opportunity to celebrate love. Also, my son had an I Love You button on his backpack until his friends made fun of it. I felt sad.

I've learned more about love from my sons than I've taught -- they inspired the I Love You Project. When my oldest was in elementary school, we did I Love You drawings in first, third, and fifth grades with his classes. Maybe it could be that simple? If you have any ideas, please get in touch!

Happy Valentine's Day!

noreply@blogger.com (I Love You) — Thu, 14 Feb 2013 17:05:00 +0000

After a string of successes with my projects, the one that was my seven-year-long I Love You to the world was rejected by every publisher. Unrequited love? I dunno -- it felt worse. In my personal life, I had been dealing with betrayal for a couple of years (unknowingly, and then all-too-knowingly). One day I found myself crying along with this song:

And I thought oh-my-God I've been walking around with a broken heart. I mean, I had a strange childhood and there were many occasions along the way where my heart could have exploded into millions of pieces. But when life keeps you busy, you can lose your groove and not even know it for a while. I haven't been posting on this blog much, and wasn't going to to do a Valentine's Day round-up, but while taking my son to hockey practice, I wandered into this:

It was a girls' hockey Valentine's Day party. My inner child heard the music, saw the hearts, and wanted to colour with the crayons. Over the next few days, I realized that things happen for good reasons, and I saw things differently (long story). Instead of low-grade, grayish pining over things I thought I lacked, I feel grateful for all that I have. So early this morning, Valentine's Day, one of my (outer) children and I fastened homemade hearts to fences around our neighbourhood. I'm starting to feel colours again.

More photos are online at the I Love You World Graffiti Project's Facebook Page (which is updated more regularly than this blog). Happy Valentine's Day. I love you.

Have a Heart Day / One Billion Rising

noreply@blogger.com (I Love You) — Thu, 14 Feb 2013 02:56:00 +0000

The February 14th Annual Women’s Memorial March is held on Valentine’s Day each year to honour the memory of women from the Downtown Eastside who have died due to physical, mental, emotional and spiritual violence. Now in its 22nd year, the march brings courage and commitment to remember and honour murdered and missing women, and to end the violence that vulnerable women in the DTES face on a daily basis.

“We are here to honour and remember the women, and we are here because we are failing to protect women from poverty and systemic exploitation, abuse and violence. We are here in sorrow and in anger because the violence continues each and every day and the list of missing and murdered women gets longer every year,” says Marlene George, Memorial March Committee organizer.

Marches are also being held in other Canadian cities. Find yours here.

Also, One Billion Rising is addressing violence against women on Valentine's Day. A 2003 UNIFEM report said that one in three women, worldwide, will be raped or beaten in her lifetime.

On V-Day’s 15th Anniversary, 14 February 2013, we are inviting ONE BILLION women and those who love them to WALK OUT, DANCE, RISE UP, and DEMAND an end to this violence. .

ONE BILLION RISING IS:

A global strike
An invitation to dance
A call to men and women to refuse to participate in the status quo until rape and rape culture ends
An act of solidarity, demonstrating to women the commonality of their struggles and their power in numbers
A refusal to accept violence against women and girls as a given
A new time and a new way of being

Visit here to find a rising near you.

Here's to every heart rising!

2013 Valentine's Day Round-Up

noreply@blogger.com (I Love You) — Wed, 13 Feb 2013 23:05:00 +0000

Same stuff at the dollar store. Shelves were stocked after Christmas.

Valentine's Day round-ups have been a thing on this blog for many years, but we're lacking new material this Valentine season. As usual, some folks love the holiday; others hate it. It was banned in a few countries, again. Many "experts" advise to forget about the coupledom component and simply celebrate love of every kind. Bags of money will be spent. You'll find survival guides for getting through the day if you're single, and for saving money if you're not (note: this heart-shaped island will likely blow the budget). We still argue about the origin of the holiday. Millions of snarky, geeky, healthy, kinky, crafty, quirky, drippy, cheesy cards will be sent. Celebrity couples will have dinner someplace.

Pinterest is new, though. People on Pinterest like Valentine's Day. A lot. And the weather forecast looks interesting in Spokane, Washington:

A Dichotomy?

noreply@blogger.com (I Love You) — Sat, 02 Feb 2013 03:09:00 +0000

"Sonja was translating the tour and I was practicing some German. I love your dick = Ich liebe dich = I love you. Great. I drunk emailed Sonja and instead of telling her I loved her (a bad move) I told her I loved her dick (a worse move. Maybe the worst move). And now…radio silence."

-Cheap Throat, The Diary of a Locked-Out NHLer

Like We Know

noreply@blogger.com (I Love You) — Wed, 24 Oct 2012 02:19:00 +0000

“It ought to make us feel ashamed when we talk like we know what we’re talking about when we talk about love.”

-Raymond Carver

The I Love You Compulsion

noreply@blogger.com (I Love You) — Sat, 20 Oct 2012 21:55:00 +0000

Western people seem to have this compulsion to say, "I love you." It's as if expressing our love in words can make it real. It's as if the words could give our love true existence. And if you say it to me that you love me, then that too would make the love real. On the other hand, if you don't say "I love you," or you don't say it often enough, that implies that you don't really love me. It's interesting, from the point of view of voidness, to see how we falsely imagine that words can create or prove the true existence of our emotions.

But if we look at traditional Indian society, people don't say "I love you" to each other, not even to their spouse or their children. In Tibetan, there isn't even the expression "I love you." One demonstrates one's love and one's affections by one's actions, not by one's words.

- Alexander Berzin

More here.

It Starts With The Heart

noreply@blogger.com (I Love You) — Fri, 14 Sep 2012 13:50:00 +0000

"The heart may be the master organ." Wow!

Uruguay and Brazil Heart You

noreply@blogger.com (I Love You) — Thu, 06 Sep 2012 17:27:00 +0000

"Aqui bate um coração" translates as "here beats a heart," according to Google Translate. I know no Portuguese, but Google explains:

With the desire to experience something new in their daily lives and provided with iPhones and cameras, twenty friends invaded the streets of the city during the night to make love hearts and the statues of the Cathedral, Anhangabaú Republic, Arouche, Ibirapuera and Trianon.

What do we want? Put a little more love in daily and another in which the collective hopes the red dots scattered throughout the city awaken smiles, a respite in the midst of this chaos we live and of course lots of love - after A HEART BEATS HERE!

Which led me to São Paulo's Curativos Urbanos, who repair holes in the streets and sidewalks with pink hearts and bandages:

An action that uses color and humor to raise awareness about the bruises from sidewalks - that can hurt a lot of people out there. Some sidewalks of St. Paul won bruised colored bandages. They can not really heal, but wish to draw the attention of those who can: us.

These folks have their hearts in the right places: here, there, and everywhere!

Johnny Barnes Loves You

noreply@blogger.com (I Love You) — Mon, 27 Aug 2012 04:14:00 +0000

"Come rain or shine, 88-year-old Bermudian Johnny Barnes devotes six hours every day to an endearing traffic ritual that has made him one of the island’s most cherished citizens."

Johnny Barnes has been telling Bermudians he loves them every day for ... twenty-six years! He stands at a busy traffic roundabout during the morning commute, waving, loving and "covering" drivers "with honey." I first read about Johnny's love in 2007, but after watching this ten-minute documentary, I feel it.The documentary was featured on Short of the Week, where reviewer Jason Sondhi writes:

As the film begins I’m a Johnny Barnes skeptic. “Whaddya mean he loves everyone? What kind of attention-seeking ploy is this? Doesn’t this just devalue the meaning of love?”.

I guess this resonates with me because the same questions have been asked about my work, and I've psycho-babble-analysed why I do what I do more than I care to admit. I'm awfully happy to hear that Mr. Sondhi concludes:

So much good seems to have come from Johnny Barnes’ unique and daily act of expression, that through the sheer relentless of optimism and good-feeling this film exudes, my cynicism fades, until I feel like I genuinely care about Johnny and his well-being like everyone else in Bermuda.

I'm still aiming for relentless optimism and good-feeling until all cynicism fades. I've only been sending I Love You's out to the world for eleven years, so I've got a lot to learn from Johnny.

Love In The Time Of Layoffs

noreply@blogger.com (I Love You) — Thu, 02 Aug 2012 15:08:00 +0000

What does love feel like when you don’t know what tomorrow will bring? When life as you imagined it seems further and further out of reach? How do you know when it’s time to hold on to what you’ve got, or let go in the face of mounting anxiety? What if you’re so stressed out you can’t even think?

For people around the globe, trends like restructuring, privatization, mergers, downsizing, and relentlessly high unemployment are transforming intimate relationships. Chronic job insecurity is shifting the way we approach the idea of hooking up, having sex, staying together, and starting families. And it might just be changing the very nature of romance.

Read more by Lynn Parramore at AlterNet. Thanks to Nikki Reimer!

Too Lazy To Love You

noreply@blogger.com (I Love You) — Tue, 31 Jul 2012 02:21:00 +0000

“There is something wonderful about a death, how everything shuts down, and all the ways you thought you were vital are not even vaguely important. Your husband can feed the kids, he can work the new oven, he can find the sausages in the fridge, after all. And his important meeting was not important, not in the slightest. And the girls will be picked up from school, and dropped off again in the morning. Your eldest daughter can remember her inhaler, and your youngest will take her gym kit with her, and it is just as you suspected - most of the stuff that you do is just stupid, really stupid, most of the stuff you do is just nagging and whining and picking up for people who are too lazy to love you.”

― Anne Enright, The Gathering

Thanks to Sherri Vanderveen for posting.

The I Love You Squawk

noreply@blogger.com (I Love You) — Sat, 21 Jul 2012 18:37:00 +0000

Comedian Todd Masterson loves live music, but hates what he calls I Love You Squawkers:

Seeing Fiona two nights in a row brought something to my attention. If you go to intimate live shows, then you know what I’m talking about. I call them The Squawkers. Those people who—during the warmest, quietest, most intense parts of the show—yell “I love you!” as loud as they can and ruin every bit of anticipation you’ve built up.

The squawk is always the same, or at least a variation on the theme. I’ve heard “I love you,” “I love you, Fiona,” “St. Louis loves you,” “We love you!”—it always happens. And it always makes my skin crawl.

At Frontiers LA, he writes that Squawkers should be ignored by their objects of affection. Any acknowledgement from the musician, positive or negative, only encourages more squawking.

I am constantly amazed at music's power to draw out emotion, making it perfectly normal to declare your love for a stranger at the top of your lungs in front of thousands of people. One theory is that music is processed by an old, pre-logic part of the brain, bypassing the logic and critical thinking bits. It makes more sense to sing about love rather than write about it -- I should have been a musician.

It's very difficult for me to say, "I love you" but to sing "I love you" for me is easier.

-Neil Diamond

Garden Love

noreply@blogger.com (I Love You) — Wed, 11 Jul 2012 02:48:00 +0000

Still quietly gardening ... I hope you're loving summer, too!

Happy World Kiss Day!

noreply@blogger.com (I Love You) — Fri, 06 Jul 2012 18:28:00 +0000

Not that kind of kiss, guys! Image swiped from Buamai.com.

mwah
smack
mchuick
schmatz
chuk
chū
mâch
moiskis
chuac
bizzz
'ts'upp
jubz

(sounds of kisses in different languages)

Somebody in Toronto Loves You

noreply@blogger.com (I Love You) — Sun, 10 Jun 2012 19:42:00 +0000

Since 2001, Spring has told me to wander around Toronto with a camera. There's a lot of pain and suffering in the world, but sometimes you just have to go for a walk in the sun, y'know?

Creepy Funny Valentine.

Nice people on the subway.

Love in all directions.

Deal!

Chinatown T-shirt shop. Feeling like a tourist!

Some would ask, "Is there any question?"

Grow Your Own Wish

noreply@blogger.com (I Love You) — Sat, 09 Jun 2012 03:15:00 +0000

I'm still out gardening, but couldn't resist this description:

Do you looking for the Fascinations Magic Garden Crystal Garden Wish Flower? Now here it is. With this crystal flower, you can make a wish and watch the magic flower grow.Using the the five elements of Chinese philosophy for inspiration, this crystal garden wish flower is available in Wood, Fire, Earth, Metal and Water. Combine them all to grow your perfect wish garden. Make a wish to the crystal wish flower and your dream may come true. This fascinations crystal wish flower might just bring you joy, health, and fortune in the near future!Meanwhile, these flowers and vases are easy to use and non toxic. What a good way to say I love you or Happy Birthday!

Non toxic wishes to you!

I Love Spring

noreply@blogger.com (I Love You) — Tue, 10 Apr 2012 16:02:00 +0000

Every May, my blog slows down a little because Spring sproings me outside! This year, warm weather came early, and then left ... even the cherry blossoms in High Park are confused. Here they are, almost in full bloom, one month ahead of time. Happy Spring!

Love is Possible

noreply@blogger.com (I Love You) — Tue, 10 Apr 2012 03:17:00 +0000

Why yes, I do believe it is! This stencil was photographed by Flickr's 4illa, in Brooklyn, New York. Seeing "love is possible" done up in stickers and stencils in many styles -- the earliest seem to be from Berlin. Also, check out this "love is possible" photoset from Tel Aviv.

Simple.

noreply@blogger.com (I Love You) — Sat, 07 Apr 2012 12:22:00 +0000

The heart of all spiritual teaching is simple.
Be love. Be peace. Be harmony. Be compassion. Be joy.

-Author unknown

I'm sure that the meaning of life would fit on a T-shirt. It might say something like this:

There is no greater than love with no object.
For then you yourself, have become love, itself.

-Rumi

Or maybe that's too complicated. We have been taught to make things complicated:

Enlightenment is a destructive process. It has nothing to do with becoming better or being happier. Enlightenment is the crumbling away of untruth. It's seeing through the facade of pretense. It's the complete eradication of everything we imagined to be true.

-Adyashanti

I love you. I love. Maybe the T-shirt only needs to say:

(in any font or colour you like : )

Neon I Love You

noreply@blogger.com (I Love You) — Mon, 02 Apr 2012 14:54:00 +0000

Sometimes I Love You is subtly whispered; other times, it's screaming in neon. Neon I Love You signs have been sold on eBay as long as I've been looking for ILY items, but in the past few years, they've entered the art world. The following three photos are part of 12 Months of Neon Love, a project that rendered twelve bits of pop lyric in large, red, neon letters. The messages were displayed on a rooftop in view of a commuter train and were, fittingly, sold by auction afterwards.

The project was a collaboration between British artists Victoria Lucas and Richard William Wheater, and began on Valentines day 2011. They write:

As the fleeting expressions of love change month by month, so too does the relationship that conceived them. On the eighth month of the project the personal journey between the collaborating artists dynamically shifted, their own failing relationship becoming as much a part of the artwork as the neon that blazes on the roof top. Lyrics such as Joy Division’s Love, Love will Tear Us Apart Again echoed the real events occurring closer to home. Thus 12 Months of Neon Love is as much about the pain that all lovers endure as it is the euphoric rapture the feeling of love can bestow.

“I think the fact that we have experienced the full spectrum of feelings associated with love during the projects short life span is so important, and for me has become the main concept driving the work. The work was conceived out of our love, which now only exists in our memories. The transitory nature of the project and its temporal existence echoes this; a year long artwork representing a year long love affair.” – Lucas

Neon has been big in the art world for a couple of years. The formula seems to be something like: take a banal and/or highly personal phrase, do it up in a form that we mostly associate with seedy businesses, and then note that neon is light, meaning that your words are now pulsating with electricity. Not saying this is a bad thing. Tracey Emin has embraced it:

Image swiped from art-Corpus

More neon love art here, here, and well, just search through the hundreds of signs at Google Images for more. Ever since I saw my first I Love You neon sign on eBay, I've wanted one for the collection of found I Love You objects. I think a found sign is as interesting as a created one, but I didn't feel like shelling out the cash.

I do have one of these, though. From eBay.

wtf I Love You

noreply@blogger.com (I Love You) — Tue, 27 Mar 2012 18:15:00 +0000

Throwboy decorates brightly coloured pillows with chatroom acronyms, Internet icons, and even Facebook "Like" buttons. I bought one of their small "ily" chat pillows for my I Love You collection (which, with thousands of pieces, will make a bizarre art show one day) . Months later, I received a package at my door, like this:

Graphic swiped from Throwboy

The package looked too large for the little pillow.

Inside, was this:

Wtf, Throwboy? My seven-year-old son wanted the three letters explained, turning the wtf moment into a teachable moment (but just barely). Then, at the bottom of the package, what did we find?

There was the "ily" pillow, plus a note apologizing for its delayed arrival: "Enjoy this pillow on the house!" We will, Throwboy. Let the adolescent jokes and badly-done Photoshopping begin.

"Wtf" could be a response to I Love You. Or, if you're surprised to find yourself saying I Love You, you might be thinking "wtf" at the same time. But maybe the most commonly spoken combination -- especially on the Internet -- is, "I love you, but wtf????" Heck, "ily but wtf?" might name one our our favourite feelings about the Internet, expressed with acronyms that became popular through social networking technologies. It's the theme of many pop songs, films, and stories, which need the conflict of "wtf" and the "ily" happy ending. The "wtf" factor triggers our adrenaline and keeps us engaged; then, "ily" makes it all better so we'll watch or listen or read the same formula again.

I guess that's why I try to stay in love, in energies that are more subtly rewarding, instead wanting to ride the love/conflict cycle. Life throws me enough wtf moments so I don't feel like seeking it out through "entertainment" or in most of our "art."

But if I were starting a punk band, "ily but wtf" would be pretty kickass.

Who Did You Love?

noreply@blogger.com (I Love You) — Thu, 22 Mar 2012 01:33:00 +0000

The First Love Project collects videos in which people reminisce about first relationships, first crushes on celebrities, first unrequited loves, or even first infatuations over cars. It's "a place for people gay or straight and from all backgrounds to share and watch stories about their lives and loves."

Above is a cute video by the amazing Jenny Foulds, Head Of Happy Things at HappyGraffiti.com. Who (or what) was your first love? I have never thought about it, but mine was hockey. Yes, hockey : ) Then, there's the following advice, from Love Science:

Dr. Nancy Kalish, expert on reunited relationships and author of a research-based book, Lost and Found Lovers: Facts and fantasies of rekindled romances, has interviewed hundreds of lovers who re-established contact with a former flame. Although a few re-connections crash and burn, almost 80% of rekindled first loves—if single at the time of the re-kindling!— passionately burn for a lifetime of happiness.

I don't think that Jenny wants to look for her first love, but my reunion with hockey four years ago was an astounding success. Dr. Kalish predicts good outcomes for rekindled first relationships if they fit a certain profile (kind of turns Facebook into an accident waiting to happen, doesn't it?). Check out Duana C. Welch's summary of the criteria at Dear Duana.

Hello, I Love You

noreply@blogger.com (I Love You) — Sun, 18 Mar 2012 16:51:00 +0000

I write about love. It's non-political, simple and universal. "I love you" are the corniest three words you'll ever use, but the whole world is looking for it and you can't wait for someone to say it to you.

-Lionel Ritchie

Movie mashup of Lionel Richie's "Hello."

A recent study suggests that it takes one-fifth of a second to fall in love, so maybe there's something to saying, "hello, I love you," and checking names later. Who would have time to even say, "hi"?

I Love You By Accident

noreply@blogger.com (I Love You) — Thu, 15 Mar 2012 16:56:00 +0000

Have you ever said I Love You to an acquaintance or stranger when you only meant to say, "thank you"?

She handed me my receipt and credit card and told me I could pick up my order when my name was called and I said 'Ok, love you." Followed by "I mean 'THANK YOU." Then, I dropped my credit card, scrambled away and found my friend B.

-Jen Fernicola Ronaly, Stop and Blog the Roses

In related but different news, Glamour's 2012 Guy Survey found that fifty per cent of one thousand male respondents let I Love You slip after a few drinks and/or sex. Intoxication accounted for twenty-three per cent of premature declarations; sex was to blame thirteen per cent of the time.

The survey also found that fifty-six per cent of men said I Love You to their partners first. There have been at least two other surveys with similar findings. In 2011, MIT interviewed 205 heterosexual men and women and found that sixty-one per cent of men said I Love You first. Ten years ago, a survey of university students also showed that men went first, noting:

Female students now have empirical verification that hearing "I love you" may mean little more than "I am saying this just so I hope you will have sex with me." Faculty who teach relationship courses and counselors of university students might reemphasize that hearing and saying "I love you" may have entirely different meanings for college men and women.