The Helmuth Fix

Hiatus

noreply@blogger.com (Josh Helmuth) — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 04:25:00 +0000

As you may have noticed THF has been, and will be on hiatus. Thanks for reading. I'll be sure to let you know if and when we can get things running again. Take care!

What's New, And A Very Artistic Chinese Dude (Because Chinaman, I Guess, Is Offensive)

noreply@blogger.com (Josh Helmuth) — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 21:26:00 +0000

You may have noticed that I haven't been able to blog as much recently. It's all good though. It is only because of my acting career making leaps and bounds, including the launch of JoshHelmuth.com. However I will still be blogging just for fun on my favorite sports topics and videos on a weekly basis Of course I will still add the occasional random music video along with other crazy/fun stuff I find online. Including this...

This is just downright neato.

Chinese Artist Shows Us How To Disappear.

Joe Flacco Skeet Footbal

noreply@blogger.com (Josh Helmuth) — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 05:44:00 +0000

Real or special effects? You decide.

Fans Booing President Obama?!

noreply@blogger.com (Josh Helmuth) — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 10:32:00 +0000

I was told that about half of Busch Stadium booed President Barack Obama's ceremonial first pitch at the All-Star game the other night. After seeing it myself, I do hear boos. But most of them are probably coming because he is wearing a White Sox jacket in St.Louis, and not so much that he would be an unpopular President in a Republican area.

What do you think? Do you hear the boos?

Josh Helmuth's 2009 MLB All-Star Teams

noreply@blogger.com (Josh Helmuth) — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 18:22:00 +0000

Josh's All-Star Teams 2009

American League

C Joe Mauer, Min

1B Justin Morneau, Min

2B Aaron Hill, Tor

3B Evan Longoria, TB

SS Jason Bartlett, TB

OF Ichiro Suzuki, Sea

OF Jermaine Dye, CHW

OF Jason Bay, Bos

SP Edwin Jackson, Det

SP Zack Grienke, KC

SP Roy Halladay, Tor

SP Jered Weaver, LAA

SP James Shields, TB

SP Felix Hernandez, Sea

SP Justin Verlander, Det

SP Jon Lester, Bos

RP Mariano Rivera, NYY

RP Joe Nathan, Min

RP Jonathan Papelbon, Bos

RP Brian Fuentes, LAA

RP Andrew Bailey, Oak

Reserves

3B Michael Young, Tex

C Victor Martinez, Cle

2B Ian Kinsler, Tex

SS Derek Jeter, NYY

OF Tori Hunter, LAA

OF Shin Soo Choo, Cle

OF Carl Crawford, TB

1B Mark Teixeira, NYY

OF Nelson Cruz, Tex

OF Adam Lind, Tor

1B Miguel Cabrera, Det

National League

C Brian McCann, Atl

1B Albert Pujols, Stl

2B Chase Utley, Phi

3B David Wright, NYM

SS Hanley Ramirez, Fla

OF Carlos Beltran, NYM

OF Raul Ibanez, Phi

OF Ryan Bruan, Mil

SP Tim Lincecum, SF

SP Johan Santana, NYM

SP Chad Billingsley, LAD

SP Dan Haren, Ari

SP Yovani Gallardo, Mil

SP Javier Vazquez, Atl

SP Matt Cain, SF

SP Josh Johnson, Fla

RP Francisco Rodriguez, NYM

RP Heath Bell, SD

RP Ryan Franklin, STL

RP Trevor Hoffman, Mil

RP Jonathan Broxton, LAD

Reserves

1B Prince Fielder, Mil

3B Pablo Sandoval, SF

3B Ryan Zimmerman, Was

C Yadier Molina, Stl

2B Orlando Hudson, LAD

SS Miguel Tejada, Hou

OF Brad Hawpe, Col

OF Carlos Lee, Hou

OF Matt Kemp, LAD

1B Adrian Gonzalez, SD

OF Justin Upton, Ari

Teams with most (4)

Tampa Bay
New York Mets
Milwaukee

Thoughts? Comments? Suggestions? Leave them here! Gracias.

Anthony Kim Hooks Ball Into Guys Butt

noreply@blogger.com (Josh Helmuth) — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 17:20:00 +0000

"That had to sting"

Garfield?

noreply@blogger.com (Josh Helmuth) — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 02:56:00 +0000

Just a cat chillin like Bob Dylan. This should hold me over until I finally post my MLB All-Star team. That should get some laughs as well.

Michael Jackson. Pop Genius.

noreply@blogger.com (Josh Helmuth) — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 05:15:00 +0000

My tribute.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtyJbIOZjS8

Rest in peace Michael. You will be missed. Your legacy will live on. Here's to the King of Pop, who is now MoonWalking with the 'big guy' in the sky.

Basketball Trick Shot Mastery

noreply@blogger.com (Josh Helmuth) — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 05:58:00 +0000

Some think this is all just tricky editing. I think it's real. You decide.

This deserves a Sure To Blow Your Mind.

Craziest Baseball Swing

noreply@blogger.com (Josh Helmuth) — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 02:11:00 +0000

It must be 'trick' day here at The Helmuth Fix. Here's another fancy shmancy doo-dad from a minor leaguer.

8th-Grader Sinks Forward Flip Basketball Shot

noreply@blogger.com (Josh Helmuth) — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 23:04:00 +0000

Now this is talent!

Italian Soccer Shorts Fail

noreply@blogger.com (Josh Helmuth) — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 23:47:00 +0000

So a little embarrassing, when you're playing in front of a stadium full of people. Hey, we all know it coulda been worse!
I'm just wondering who is shooting camera for this game. Quite the tight shot, considering it's just on the rear.

Sports Trivia + Roller Coasters = Awesome

noreply@blogger.com (Josh Helmuth) — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 06:32:00 +0000

How do you think you would do?

Who Holds The Biggest Rivalry In Baseball?

noreply@blogger.com (Josh Helmuth) — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 01:50:00 +0000

As we head in to inter-league play this time of year, I always think about those crazy rivalries that we normally wouldn't see in Major League Baseball. Yankees/Mets, Cardinals/Royals, A's/Giants, Dodgers/Angels, and my favorite: White Sox/Cubs. But overall, who has the best rivalry in the country?

We're all too familiar with the Red Sox/Yankees rivalry. The teams have hated each other to cataclysmic proportions. Well, that, and not to mention ESPN airs EVERY matchup. Kinda ridiculous, considering there are... how many other teams out there?! But hey, I guess you have to air whatever people want to watch. Any who, the amount of altercations between the two teams is insurmountable.
You also can't forget about that curse. You know. The one that involves that 'Great Bambino' guy. Man, I bet the 'Sox wish they could have that one back. No matter where the teams are in the standings though, you can rest assure that each series means a ton to these fans. And I believe the Sox are undefeated against the Bronx Bombers so far this year. Ouch.

I never even knew how big the rivalry was until I moved to Los Angeles, but Giants and Dodgers fans HATE each other. There is no easy way to put it. And it goes all the way back to the days when the teams were in Brooklyn and New York. Ya....THAT far. In fact, it is historically the longest standing rivalry in baseball. The two teams first met May 19, 1883.

The Giants are #1 in all-time wins, while the Dodgers are #3 in all-time wins (1,063 and 1,046). And take a look at the list of guys that worked for both teams:

Not sure if you've heard of those guys. But kinddddddd of a big deal. Big names playing for both teams always infuses an already huge rivalry.
And of course we can't forget players like Barry Bonds and NOW Manny Ramirez who have changed the landscape over the past decade for California baseball. Head to Dodger Stadium or AT&T Park and you're sure to hear woe's regarding each of these guys.

And finally, last but certainly not least, the last two rivalries both involve Da' Cubbies. Let's start with the cross town matchup between the White Sox and Cubs. This is why I love inter-league play.

Since both teams have traditionally been horrible, this is a matchup we definitely would never see if left up to the MLB playoff gods. The teams are an even 33-33 (as of today). The north side/south side rivalry is definitely something that Chicago baseball fans are always fighting over. Even though the White Sox defeated the Cubs in the two teams' only World Series matchup in 6 games; way back in 1906.

And speaking of players having altercations to cataclysmic proportions, here is a snippet of what happened in 2006. Definitely still a recent memory to Chicago fans...
"On Saturday, May 20, 2006, the Cubs and White Sox added a new chapter to the intense rivalry: a brawl broke out. In the bottom of the second inning, Brian Anderson of the White Sox hit a sacrifice fly, attempting to score catcher A.J. Pierzynski. A play at the plate then occurred, with Pierzynski colliding with Cub catcher Michael Barrett, knocking him over and jarring the ball loose. After slapping home plate in celebration, Pierzynski began to walk away, but Barrett blocked his path and punched him in the jaw. This set off fighting between the two teams. Barrett drew a 10 game suspension and Anderson got a five game suspension of his own. The fracas took nearly fifteen minutes to resolve and to decide who would get ejected, and who would stay in the game. When play finally resumed, outfielder Scott Podsednik promptly got on base, loading the bases up, and second baseman Tadahito Iguchi cleared them with a grand-slam home run to send the White Sox to an eventual 7–0 win."
[Wikipedia]

But we also can't forget what it's like for the 'I-55' series between those 'loveable losers' in da' Cubs and the St.Louis Cardinals. Read the sign above and it says it all. The Cubs' two most hated teams win back-to-back WS titles in 2006 and 2007. COULD it get any worse for the Cubbies? Oh wait, maybe. It's called having the best record in baseball and choking in the first round of the playoffs! (Sorry, I'm really trying to be non-bias. Cardinal/White Sox fan you're talking to here)

I'm from central Illinois where the whole state is split; half Cubs fans, half Cardinals fans (and a White Sox fan here and there) And let me tell you first hand, there is never enough talk about the two teams. Although rare in recent memory, things get pretty nasty in the area when the Cardinals start losing and the Cubs actually start winning. In his book Three Nights in August, Buzz Bissinger compared this rivalry to another famous pair: "The Red Sox and Yankees is a tabloid-filled soap opera about money and ego and sound bites. But the Cubs and Cardinals are about... geography and territorial rights." [Wikipedia]

Many players have played for both teams, including Hall of Famer Rogers Hornsby, who holds several single season hitting records for both clubs. Notably, Hall of Famer Lou Brock was traded from the Cubs to the Cards early in his career for pitcher Ernie Broglio. This is widely considered one of the most one-sided trades in baseball history. Other Hall of Famers who played/managed with both clubs include Grover Cleveland Alexander, Clark Griffith, Burleigh Grimes, Bruce Sutter, Roger Bresnahan, Dizzy Dean, Dennis Eckersley, Rabbit Maranville, Hoyt Wilhelm, and Leo Durocher. [Wikipedia]

Many also may not realize that the late and great Harry Caray got his start with Jack Buck in St.Louis broadcasting games. We can't forget the home run chase of '98 when Mark McGuire and Sammy Sosa slugged it out for the elusive record of 61 homers. And finally BOTH teams have 9 players in the Hall of Fame.

It's really hard to put into perspective if you haven't witnessed any of these rivalries in person. And each rivalry is different in many ways. You can be sure that my FAVORITE rivalry is between the Cardinals and Cubs. But which is yours?

Who do you consider to have the best rivalry in baseball?

Let me know!

Cooties. Be Sure To Get YOUR Kids Tested

noreply@blogger.com (Josh Helmuth) — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 07:41:00 +0000

Speak to your kids about cooties...before cooties speaks to them first.

Ken Griffey Jr. Tickle Fights With Ichiro

noreply@blogger.com (Josh Helmuth) — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 02:21:00 +0000

Yes, you read that right. Ken Griffey Jr. will 'tickle Ichiro until he calls out what one might describe as a safe word.'

Maybe that explains why Ichiro is having yet another great year. No better way to keep a ball player loose right? Nice to also know that Griffey is having fun while his career winds down.

The Tacoma News Tribune reports

" Suzuki spreads a towel on the carpeted floor in front of his locker, lies on his back and begins doing stretching exercises. From Ichiro's blind side, Ken Griffey Jr. pounces, gets his hands deep under Ichiro's armpits and digs in with his fingers.

Ichiro's laughter is almost childlike – genuine and uncontrolled – and after about five seconds he screams the magic word to make Griffey stop.

Junior stands up, walks back to his locker and sits down. Ichiro lies quietly for a moment, letting his body relax, then goes back to stretching as if nothing had happened.

[...]

"He's the only teammate I would ever let do that. In Japan, all relationships are respectful, so no one would ever do that to me," Ichiro said. "If someone else did it here, I'd probably punch them in the face."

Kinda makes you wonder what else Griff gets away with. All I know is, is that I hope there is Youtube video of this somewhere!

16 Year Old Baseball Phenom Dropping Out Of High School

noreply@blogger.com (Josh Helmuth) — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 16:48:00 +0000

Just last week Las Vegas' Bryce Harper was featured in S.I. as 'Baseball's Chosen One.' He's not only about the 30th person to be 'chosen' by S.I. as such, but the kid is also only 16 years old. I also woke up this morning to find that Harper is dropping out of high school. Harper is so good at baseball, that let me repeat, he is dropping out of high school.

Harper's father announced "that Bryce will forgo his final two years of high school and use a GED to enroll in a community college this August."

From the Las Vegas Review-Journal:

"There are going to be critics. I can't worry about what people think," Ron Harper said. "People are going to see what they want to see and say what they want to say. I think this prepares him for life, playing the game of baseball.
"People question your parenting and what you're doing. Honestly, we don't think it's that big a deal. He's not leaving school to go work in a fast-food restaurant. Bryce is a good kid. He's smart, and he's going to get his education."

What also kind of surprises me is that Yahoo's blogger 'Duk' supports the decision, 'for the most part.'
To be honest, I can see why this probably shouldn't be blown up like it is going to be. I know many people, including my father, who have successful careers with a GED. However, almost all of them wished the could have lived through high school life. Sure going to class 8-3 every day STINKS. But you make friends for life, compete in sports, school plays.etc. And even if you don't participate in any school activiites, there are many lessons to be learned within the halls of your high school that will help you throughout your life. Not just playing baseball.

I wish Bryce the best of luck, but he and his parents are definitely rolling the dice on this one. He better be the next Mickey Mantle or somethin'.

[Big League Stew]

11 Guys You NEVER Want To Play Pick-Up Basketball With

noreply@blogger.com (Josh Helmuth) — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 01:00:00 +0000

And now, in light of the end of yet another NBA basketball season, a Youtube semi-classic. "The 11 Guys."
For those of us who play pick-up ball, you know who these guys are.

Zensational! Phil Jackson Wins One For The 2ND Thumb

noreply@blogger.com (Josh Helmuth) — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 00:11:00 +0000

Although I've never been a huge fan of Kobe Bryant, I've always loved Phil Jackson. What can I say? I'm a Bulls fan.
So congrats Phil, AND the rest of the Lakers on yet another title.
Some say Phil is just lucky to have had guys like M.J., Scottie, Shaq and Kobe; which is true. But I also say it takes a pretty smart guy to mold talented superstars together in order to create a great 'team.' So Zen 'master,' congrats on being officially the winningest coach in NBA history. Here's an interview with a champagne soaked Phil right after the game which I thought was pretty groovy.

Anyone else think he'll retire after this season? Because I think he still has a few years left. He sounds pretty optimistic at the end of this interview, I can see it!

I also must point out that I DID pick the Magic to win the series. I think it was mostly just wishful thinking, as it has been obvious the Lakers have had the most talent. However, my buddy Wes will continue to give me a hard time about the Lakers taking the series in 5. No worries, I deserve it!

Lakers Fans Gone Wild

noreply@blogger.com (Josh Helmuth) — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 23:41:00 +0000

You stay classy Lakers fans!

You've only won 15 NBA titles. Only problem is, you don't act like it. I've never appreciated rioting after a big win. There is a way to celebrate and a way not to. It seems L.A. fans have mastered the way 'not to.' Click on the picture to the left to see a small glimpse of what happened in downtown yesterday after the big win. About a half dozen officers were injured, one was taken to the hospital.

Some on Youtube cry out loud that these rioters on merely 'poser' Lakers fans. They just need an excuse to go out and torch cars and loot local retailers. If that's the case, then thank God the Clippers are horrible. I just hope the Dodgers don't win the 2009 World Series! Yikes! Then again, this is why I live in Burbank.

Orlando Needs MAGIC To Stay Alive

noreply@blogger.com (Josh Helmuth) — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 20:06:00 +0000

Cliche. I know. But it's going to take a lot of magic, borderline miracle for Orlando to win the series now. But hey, if they do win this thing in seven games, i'll look like a genius. Buuuutt we all know that's very doubtful.

When I picked the Magic to win the Finals over the Lakers last week, I kind of assumed that they would be able to knock down their free throws. Especially in clutch situations. Especially if your name is Dwight Howard.

I also assumed that they would be able to secure a double digit lead, in the second half, at home.

I assumed that Stan Van Gundy would coach like he does during the regular season, and not go brain dead when it matters most. i.e, fouling the Lakers when they're up three points with under 10 seconds left in regulation.

And finally, Dwight, you know I love ya. Not to pick on you. But you HAVE to give up the ball when your triple and quadruple teamed down-low. Not doing so only results in 7 turnovers. But I'm sure you do know this.

I'm still pulling for the Magic. That's exactly what it will take though for Orlando to make a come-back in this series. Hopefully they pull a rabbit (or some basketball strategy) out of their hat soon.

Anyone think Dwight and Co. still have shot? Or was Game 4 the biggest choke in NBA Finals history, leading the Magic to a game 5 outing?

Ryan Leaf Headed To The Slammer?

noreply@blogger.com (Josh Helmuth) — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 19:54:00 +0000

Hopefully this isn't just another sad ending to an already sad, sad story. Ryan Leaf, the former #2 NFL draft pick of the San Diego Chargers, who we all know threw away his career due to multiple issues, will surrender on drug and burglary charges in Texas.

Leaf has been coaching the quarterbacks at West Texas A&M in Canyon, TX. Who knows if the team will be better off without him.

I just hope Leaf finally grows up eventually. I like to think of this as a humor blog, and nothing about this story is funny. However Leaf's rookie blowup in the San Diego locker room still gives me the giggles. I think I had one of these tantrums in gym class in the 5th grade.

Leaf will turn himself into police soon according to his lawyer. Should be interesting to see what happens to him.

[Yahoo Sports]

Ryan Braun The Next 'Bachelor?'

noreply@blogger.com (Josh Helmuth) — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 22:44:00 +0000

Yesterday I brought up one of my favorite players making a huge comeback in Scott Podsednik; a proven ladies man. Today I read that Milwaukee slugger Ryan Braun was actually asked to be the next "Bachelor" on the ABC hit show. Really, Ryan Braun?

I'm sorry. But it's Ryan Braun. Major League Baseball All-Star. Prrreeettty sure he doesn't have any problems finding the ladies. Ryan hit 37 home runs last year. And chicks dig the long ball.
[Sutton Says: Braun The Bachelor?]

Scott Podsednik Is Back!

noreply@blogger.com (Josh Helmuth) — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 11:21:00 +0000

One of my favorite baseball players of all-time has reemerged into the Chicago Whitesox' starting lineup. A former all-star due to his timely hitting and speed along the basepaths, Scott Podsednik is looking like the same ball player that helped lead the Sox to the 2005 World Series title.

Over the past month, Pods is hitting .319 with 8 swipes and a home run to boot! And although I was little hesitant at first, I think it's for real folks.

Podsednik is lucky to even have a job right now, but he is taking full of advantage of his time in center field while Carlos Quentin is on the DL. The Colorado Rockies let him go April 1st, which left Scott jobless on opening day. Whitesox GM Ken Williams wasn't ready to quite give up on the guy that helped him win a ring in 2005, and it's paying off.

I think Pods is going to continue his streak and will end up with around 30 stolen bases and a .290 average. So if you need someone like that on your fantasy team, pick him up now.

And of course, just like Zack Grienke, it doesn't hurt if you have an incredibly hot wife. I see a common thread here... Gorgeous women and MLB players having complete resurgence with their careers. Hmmmm. Just throwing that out there. Just a hunch, but it may be part of the equation to MLB success. It also seems that I always have the same taste in women as my 'man crushes.' Meet Lisa Dergan Podsednik.... She likes golf.

I also plan on writing more 'Fantasy Sports' type articles. If this is your thing, please let me know. I would love to hear from you.

Transsexual Basketball

noreply@blogger.com (Josh Helmuth) — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 22:20:00 +0000

Annndd entering the list of things I never knew existed department.. Philippine Transsexual Basketball!

If you're like me you probably can't understand a word of this, but funny as it is, you don't really need to. All I know is that these guys really play like girls....errrr, wait...girls play like.......wait, I'm so confused.