After you’ve been dating someone for a week or two, and frequented the local dating sites, you can bet that if he or she suggests a movie night they’re probably looking to get some under-the-shirt action (or sex… for the grown ups out there).  If you’re the one doing the inviting, you want to make sure you frame the night around the movie, not the make out, so that if and when it happens it feels spontaneous.  Because only emotionally mature people just invite people over for some sexy time and let’s face it, if you’re reading this you’re not ready for that.  Don’t worry, though; you’re in good company – mine.  In planning your night make sure you have snacks and beverages ready to go.  Nothing says, “I figured we’d be boning by now,” like scrounging through your cupboards for old chips to serve.  Second, clean the place up and make it look inviting.  If the only thing you’ve bothered to do is change the sheets you’re being a little obvious.  Some candle light is ok, just not so much it looks like a vampire’s love nest.  And finally, the movie selection is important.  Anything too dark or disturbing may ruin the mood.  Likewise, a slapstick comedy might not get you cuddling fast enough.  I’ve comprised a list of make out movies for you to choose from.  God willing, you’ll never make it through a whole one.

The Princess Bride.  It’s a comedy.  It’s a romance.  And you’ve both probably seen it before so you won’t miss anything if you, you know, miss anything.  There are enough longing gazes and kisses to get you thinking about doing it yourself without being in your face lovey dovey like Sleepless in Seattle or anything with Meg Ryan ever.

The Breakfast Club.  Again, you’ve likely seen it but maybe not in a while.  It’s good in that, “Oh my God I forgot how good this was!” kind of way that you can bond over.  Plus it has teenagers and teenagers think about almost nothing but sex so now you both will, too.  Also, the soundtrack has a lot of intense percussion going on which makes kissing better.  What?  It totally does.

Meet the Feebles.  It’s porn without actually being porn because… it’s muppets.  The opening scene involves a walrus doing a cow and it only gets worse from there.  It’s enough of a novelty to justify watching, weird and dark enough to get you in the mood (fine, me, to get ME in the mood), and way too long to pay attention to all the way through.

The Sound of Music.  You know, because of the musical numbers and the children and the Nazis – just kidding!

Top Gun.  There’s enough sex and romance to be suggestive but it’s not the focal point.  The great part is pretty much any time you come up for air the scene will look the same: two dudes yelling in a cockpit so it’ll seem like no time has passed at all.  Sexy bonus: make up call signs for each other so that when he’s in your cockpit he has something special to call you.

Gary: You guys should watch Top Gun (if you haven’t already) to see how guys who “get it” with women act around them, also take note of facial expressions and body language

Groundhog Day.  I’ve made out to this myself.  We bonded over laughing at the same things because ha ha we’re both so smart we both think Bill Murray is hilarious how original!!!  Again, the romance doesn’t scream, “Fall in love with me like they’re doing in the movie!” but there’s still some there.  And since the day keeps starting over and over and over and over, so can you keep kissing over and over and over and over.

Freddy Krueger.  Any of them.  They’re scary enough to get you cuddled up and holding hands but dumb enough to ignore while you swap salivas.  Plus it’ll lead to those weird kissing thoughts like, “Wait… what if THIS is a dream and Freddy Krueger is about to appear… or what if this guy IS Freddy Krueger and his dick is made of knives like his hands… ow, that was sharp, oh God I’m bleeding, AAAHHH SOMEBODY HELP ME I’M DRY HUMPING FREDDY KRUEGER WHILE WATCHING FREDDY KRUEGER!!!!!  I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S REAL ANYMORE PLUS I FEEL FAINT CAUSE I’M BLEEDING OUT!  DATING IS TERRIBLE!!!!!!”

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This is a first time experiment for me using video for a blog post. As you’ll see its totally unedited, with dogs, and crappy sound. Enjoy

This video is about an episode of the “Millionaire Matchmaker” I saw recently and a few of my comments on it. This is a great show where you can often find good examples of what you should NOT do as a guy looking to find a new relationship or date.

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Whenever you’re starting any kind of interaction, you want to start touching her as soon as possible, but the classroom setting makes it kind of tricky. Once you have established some rapport, you can start flirting by nudging her in class, brushing something out of her hair, and lightly bumping her leg.

All of these flirting methods, sans the nudging, are suggestive so go easy with her before you start testing them.  It’s a lot easier when she’s out of the classroom.  This should be your main goal when you have your sights set on a hot girl in class that you want to meet in college.

If she does agree to meet you outside of class, that is of course an opportune time to get her number. It is natural to ask for it, because you may need to let her know if the plans change.

There is a certain professionalism that is generally expected in the college classroom. Once you have the girl out of the college class setting, you can immediately be extra friendly without it being too awkward.

When you meet her for coffee, go for a hug as soon as you meet her. Be bold and act like hugging people is natural for you. You should always hug women that you know if you’re not doing this already. When you see her, just say something like, “Hey!” excitedly, and give her a hug as soon as you see her.

It will make your life a lot easier if you do hug her, however there may be a reason you won’t be able too. If you can’t get that type of touching going right away, your job is going to be much, much more difficult.

If you’re with other women from class, they will be much more open to a hug, so give them hugs first, and then just naturally turn to her.

Another thing to keep in mind:

If there are multiple people when you meet (there is a high likelihood this is going to be the only way you will be able to get her to come meet you outside of class) be nice to them all, and flirt with them all a fair amount.   Be the fun loving guy everyone wants to be around.

You never want to focus on your target first. In fact, it is often better to flirt with the target a little bit less than the rest of the people to begin with. This way she will subconsciously feel that she needs to prove herself to you.

As soon as she takes an interest in the group, specifically if it plays to a conversation or question that you started, show a little bit of approval or interest, and slowly give her more attention. Don’t forget to be touchy and friendly with everyone, obviously much more so with her.

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There are many approaches to meeting women, and sadly the most common approaches are pretty bad. There is no magic pill that can be used in every situation.  You have to learn to adapt to be yourself around girls.

Some dating “gurus” teach gimmicks like card tricks and “hey hold my pictures” gimmicks as openers for approaching girls. So you decide that you want the same success they have and to do that you should naturally emulate what they do, right?

Not always…check out these potential scenarios:

So you walk over to a group of girls, and you say “I’ve got a good card trick for you guys. Want to see it?” So you do your clever trick you learned.

Then the target girl you’re flirting with will ask you how long you have been doing card tricks, and you would most likely answer honestly and say you just learned them. The jig is up and you’ve been exposed as the geek that you really are.

Or you may use the other gimmick you learned where you ask a woman to hold some pictures for you (even though this action in of itself is kind of odd, agree?) These pictures are of you doing cool stuff and/or with beautiful girls. The theory is that when she sees them it will buy you some social proof, meaning you will have more social value to her.

Now if you are a magician by trade or you regularly hang out with models because it’s part of your profession, by all means do this stuff!  If by day you’re a gamer, awaiting the release of Diablo III or passionate about exercise and interested in tweaking your diet then maybe these openers don’t quite fit into your reality.

You’re trying to be someone you’re not, as we know this can cause problems further down the line. You’re not card trick guy or hold my pictures of hot chicks guy. You need to be yourself when you’re around girls.  Women have a sixth sense when it comes to detecting guys who are BSing them.

These gimmicky openers come off as lame because it’s clear they are planned.  The best openers are whimsical and don’t require elaborate planning.  You need to be in the moment and live in the now to be yourself around women.

You have to be yourself.  Learn to be comfortable in your skin and create openers that make sense with who you are and your reality.  You have to develop your own style of connecting with people and creating relationships.

There is no one-size fits all prescription for all situations when it comes to approaching girls and what to say.  You need a build a solid confidence foundation.

After that you should get out a notebook and start brainstorming some simple, teasing, funny things to say or do that fit with your personality.  The reason you want to do this is so you at least have a couple default things to say if you’re mind goes blank.

Go to places where you will find girls who will have the same passions that you have.  I.E. Don’t go to the dive bar to meet a classy woman.  Go to Barnes and Noble on Friday night to meet someone with a brain.  Go to a yoga class to meet a woman who is flexible (always a plus).

Learn to be you in many different situations.  Try new classes, do new stuff. Don’t let yourself fall into the same routines over and over.

You want to make yourself distinguishable from the herd. You don’t want to be the Wal-Mart of the dating world (same old shit, different geographical location).

Strive to become who everyone else wants to emulate.

Be yourself.

-Gary

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To become an alpha male in the eyes of attractive and beautiful women is not a transformation that can be made in short order. It takes a burning desire to work on your “inner game” and  make some positive changes in your life.

Its key to adopt an “implementer” type of personality, which means that instead of just reading a lot — you NEED to go out and actually do stuff — test what you’ve learned to see if it works for you.

Here are some of my favorite tips I’ve learned over the years to increase my “alpha” appeal

1. Develop your social value, learn ways to set yourself apart from pack / competition. Travel, start a business, write a book, be good at something and be passionate about life. e.g. Don’t watch TV all day then bitch about how broke/loser-ish you are on facebook.

2. Be engaging and interested in what others have to say. Explore the interests and backgrounds of people you meet.  Enjoy learning from other people and avoid re-directing the conversation to things you’ve done.

3. Don’t show emotional weakness or psychological instability in public places.  E.g. no crying, yelling, screaming, whining, violence, etc. at least not in public for the love of god! ( of course if your dog just died crying is acceptable)

4. If there is a girl you want to meet and she is with her friends, befriend them too. If you can win the approval of her friends the rest is downhill.

5. Learn to have some quick witted humor or learn a few jokes you can always pull from your back pocket to keep the mood positive and uplifting. Make spending time with you an enjoyable experience.

6. When you’re talking to a woman who you want to get to know more, show her you are a catch by your personality and how you live your life.

7. Use mixed signals to girls you’ve just met in public — it keeps her guessing and allows her to work for your attention too. Don’t be swayed by beauty alone! Remember, you will eventually have to talk to that fine female specimen.

8. Have (ideally attractive) female friends that you hang out with on a regular basis.  This will greatly increase your social value to other women.  Your female friends will essentially “pre-approve” you as being someone who is cool to hang out with.

9. Get to know the owners or employees at the coffee shop/bar/restaurant you like to frequent, then take your dates there.  When you walk in and they know you by name its an instant +1 to social value.

10. Learn how to dress fashionably — it’s a hell of a lot more important than you may think.

-Gary

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Sexting has swept through the media like a whirlwind within the past couple years. Sexting is similar to phone sex, except you’re sending text messages and/or photos of your body or body parts.  It takes a bit of skill, just like successfully flirting with a girl to land her digits.

The main purpose of sexting is to get each other horny as shit so that next time you meet you’re ready to jump each other’s bones.  It’s fun, harmless (mostly), and is a great way to add some extra sex in a relationship.
Sexting is a fantastic way to build that anticipation that girls LOVE!

Sexting is a great way to flirt with a girl while you’re out and you don’t anyone else to know what you’re doing or you don’t want her to know you messed up you are when you’re out with your buddies.

If you want to give sexting a rip, follow the instructions below.

1.Make damn sure you have unlimited texting in your phone plan, you wouldn’t want a good sexting session to be ruined by an ugly phone bill at the end of the month.

2. Text the girl you want to flirt with a suggestive one liner. Make sure it’s not crude, leaves room for a retort from her, and definitely has sexual undertones.

What’s not going to cut it: “hey sexy”, “wats up”, “lets hav sex kthx”, “r u horny?”
What you should say: “you, me, wine, my place at 7?”, “thinking of your hot ass”, “dying to lick you”
3. When she responds (hopefully in a way that allows for some return fodder) continue with the text volleys while revving up the sexual tension.

4. If you choose to send a photo make sure it doesn’t have a picture of your face, god forbid things go south and you end up on the internet, at least there is no clear way to identify you.

5. If you do a decent job, things should go well the next time you meet, ideally that night if you planned things right.

-Gary

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Don’t Rehearse What You’re Going to Say
If you happen to get a woman’s digits, don’t over analyze and mull over what exactly you’re going to say.  This will make you extra nervous. If you’re trying to follow a certain script, chances are that it won’t pan out the way you intended, so don’t waste your time.

Calling her soon after (within 2 days) is a sign of confidence and shows her you have some cajones. It’s scary, I know.  The good news is she will be just as anxious during the call. If you sound TOO smooth it sounds like you’re not overly interested and she doesn’t really affect you.

Get a Wing Man
If you approach a woman by yourself and she is in a group it can stack the odds against you.  You may run out of things to say or find yourself trying way too hard. Having a “wing man” (friend) can help disperse any potential tension and help you talk about other things.

Sadly, it has to be said that your wing must be someone who is positive and outgoing.

Smile
People get so anxious when they first start approaching women that they forget to smile.  It’s a simple gesture that communicates a lot about you. Don’t forget to smile! Show you’re fun, confident, and happy to see her. It’s even more import to smile if you open with making fun of her.

-Gary

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In the following pictures you see women with a range of facial expressions. Study the expressions, and try to imagine what single act each is experiencing.

They’re all about the SNEEZE,  jackass! Happy Friday!

-Gary

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The process of paying attention to facial expressions begins when we are babies trying to communicate with our parents.  We learn mirror their expressions and what they mean.

I recently made a study of identifying the body language of facial expressions and have found it to be incredibly useful when it comes to figuring out what’s on someone’s mind.

It’s really interesting when you start paying close attention to a person’s subtle facial expressions and what they are saying.  Are they always consistent? Body language signals always trump what someone says.

Facial expressions are displayed VERY quickly so you won’t always have a lot of time to interpret them.  The more you astutely observe them, the better you get at picking up the overall emotion.

Here are some common emotions and the facial expressions that represent them:

Sadnes — The eyelids droop as the inner corners of the brows rise and, in extreme sadness, draw together. The corners of the lips pull down, and the lower lip may push up in a pout.

Shocked — The upper eyelids and brows rise, and the jaw drops open.

Frustrated — Both the lower and upper eyelids tighten as the brows lower and draw together. Intense anger raises the upper eyelids as well. The jaw thrusts forward, the lips press together, and the lower lip may push up a little.

Hate- – This is the only expression that appears on just one side of the face: One half of the upper lip tightens upward.

Grossed Out — The nose wrinkles and the upper lip rises while the lower lip protrudes.

Afraid –  The eyes widen and the upper lids rise, as in surprise, but the brows draw together. The lips stretch horizontally.

Joyful —   The corners of the mouth lift in a smile. As the eyelids tighten, the cheeks rise and the outside corners of the brows pull down.

Obviously there are tons more and variants of each, but you get the general idea.  Are there any other expressions you can think of that are easy to recognize that convey emotions?

-Gary

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1. Don’t be too mushy

You should always use romantic gestures as a supplement to the relationship.  You also shouldn’t say many mushy things too often or they lose their power.

Show you have a heart — but make it a rare occurance.  Keep your inner little girl in check. Women want you to act like a man, even if they sometimes say otherwise.   Keep her interested in you by using things like flowers and expensive dates very sparingly.  It will help seperate you from the competition.

2. Have an enriched life

Make sure you find ways to stay busy and cultivate your own interests. Do things
with your friends without your girlfriend / girl your dating.  It’s a big mistake to make the girl you’re seeing the only person in your world and neglect your friends.

If you stick with your current hobbies after getting a girlfriend and continue your personal development it will help keep her more interested in you and you will become more attractive.

It’s a great way to spend some time apart as well.  It’s key that you’re not together 24/7 or you will get sick of each other pretty quickly.  You can’t miss what is always there.

3. Always end interactions first

Always end conversations “too soon” and on a positive tone.  This will leave her thinking about you long after the conversation has ended because of how much fun she had with you.  If you let a conversation drag on too long in early stages it can kill attraction.

Its ok to let a conversation end when its going well.  A lot of guys will try to keep a conversation rolling if it’s going well.  End the conversation and either get a number, create the next date, or simply end it pleasantly.

For example, if you’re talking to a woman you just met at a bookstore for about five minutes while having an awesome conversation, that is when you should end it.

Say, “Hey, It was great meeting you but I have to get going. What’s your number?” Same principles apply for phone conversations.

Avoid becoming overly infatuated, you need to mke sure you are still percieved as a challenge. Don’t become a pussy.

It’s a good practice to often conciously listen to the words you’re saying and evaluate whether or not they sound like pussy-ish. Once you’ve shown a woman that you’re a wimp, it’s hard to get yourself back into the “real man” category.

-Gary

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Hi guys, I have been very busy for the past month or so, I bought my first house so needless to say time has been tight, but I’m back at it! Here we go!

1. You can’t maintain or hold eye contact for longer than a second or two.  Don’t use fleeting glances.  Summon up some courage and look women directly in the eyes when you speak with them.  You’ll find yourself making better connections with people when you do this.

2. You carry yourself with a submissive or awkward posture making you look like a huge tool.  Don’t forget – always walk with your shoulders back, chest up, and eyes forward.

3. You give away all your power.  What does this mean?  This means that you avoid taking control of situations and doing what you want.  It means not always being agreeable if you don’t approve or want to do something.  It means constantly seeking approval and doing what you hope she thinks is acceptable.

4.  A BIG sign you are a tool is you always nervously fidget with something, whether it be your hands, a marker, a pencil whatever.  Practice the discipline of simply holding your arms at your sides or whatever place you find comfortable.

5. You always try to follow the crowd and do what everyone else is doing because you’re afraid people may think ill of you.  If you want to drive a volvo, do it! If you want to get a tattoo, do it! Don’t worry about other people think.

6. You’re deathly afraid of a women being offended by you, so you tend to only do and say “in the box” stuff like “you’re pretty, you will you go out with me sometime?” rather than “hey, you seem like you might be more than just another pretty face…I’m about to go grab a bite, would you like to join me?”

7. You act overly macho and cocky to the point of annoyance – but you don’t know it.  A good sign that you’re doing this is people often roll their eyes when you speak.

8. You wear a ton of wacky jewelery.  I know a lot people subscribe to the Mystery Method (well worth reading) way of peacocking, but I personally think looking like you shop at hot topic (if you’re not 16) is a no-no if you want to be taken seriously. This isn’t the early 90′s zer0 cool

9. You dress like a slob and have bad manners.  Clean your clothes, have them ironed or dry cleaned and don’t eat with your mouth open.  Also, brush and floss your teeth.

10. You’re obsessed with sports and it’s the only thing you talk about during the week and the only thing you watch during the weekend.  Broaden your interests, plus most women aren’t into it.

11. You hand out way too many compliments all the time.  They are more valuable the less you give them.

12. You fart and belch in public and don’t see a problem with it.

13. When you go out you can’t control your alcohol intake and end up getting shit faced all the time, every time – another sign you are a tool

14. In the gym you stare at yourself in the mirror and flex your muscles.

15. You lie all the time and have no integrity.

-Gary

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Ever meet a woman, who at first you think is just another pretty face, but the more you get to know her and the more time you spend with her the more that initial attraction quickly grew into an intense affection as you became friends?

Then as you find yourself spending even more time with her, you started to become more and more insecure? Sound familiar?

We’ve all been there. You are not alone.

You were just dying to know if she felt the same way about you as you did about her – yet you were still clearly in the dreaded friend zone.

At times you may have tried to illicit a reaction out of her when you told her how important she was to you to no avail.

She would occasionally give you hug or hold your hand, but not in the way you want her too. She was still at the end of the day – your friend.

The more insecure you felt about your feelings, the more scared you became of making a move on her and potentially messing up the friendship. Then you realized the only way she would ever know your “true” feelings was to sit her down and tell her.

Then shortly after telling her you got the inevitable rejection. “Thanks, that was really sweet…but I wouldn’t want to mess up our great friendship, I have to get going…I’ll talk to you later”  This type of feeling dump is an instant turn off with most women!

Maybe she was just afraid of sharing her true feelings as well? The thought “Maybe I wasn’t clear enough runs through your head?”

You had to be with her. To make sure she really understood your feelings you painstakingly wrote her a poem really digging deep and pulling out all your feelings for her unfiltered.

Then shockingly she starts to avoid you and doesn’t return your calls or texts. If you’re lucky, after a few weeks or a month she may have tried to reconnect your friendship if you can get over her.

Knowledge is power. If you knew what I’ve been teaching you already, you never would have gone about turning your friend into a partner in such a pussy way, not to mention sabotage a great friendship.

If a woman isn’t already attracted to you, any traditional courting efforts (flowers, poems, expensive dinners, etc) will only PUSH her further from you. 

Doing “nice guy” stuff for a woman that isn’t attracted to you only makes the situation worse. I know it sucks, but there is a right and a wrong way of attracting woman you’re interested in. This story is how you turn off women instantly. Keep the feelings to yourself or don’t let it get to that point!  Make a move early on and stay out of the friend zone entirely.

How To Not Turn Off Women Instantly

• Keep things light
• No flowers
• No chocolates
• No poems
• No love songs
• No “we need to talk” type conversations
• Don’t call or text her 7 times a day
• Don’t ask if she likes you

Learn how to make her attracted to you from the beginning. Learn how to read her positive signals. Learn to read her body language. Learn how to communicate with women on a level that shows you “get it.” Stay tuned and I will teach you.

-Gary

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The majority of all communication is not through spoken word.  It’s from body language.  Understanding a woman’s body language will quickly let you know whether or not she’s interested in you.

It shouldn’t take you more than five minutes to figure out whether or not you’re interested in a woman. You have to realize that you are in the same attraction process and time frame as women, when it comes to figuring out if attraction is there or not. Women follow the same attraction factors as we do.

Ok, so verbal communication isn’t as important as body language, but it is still important not to babble on about your pet gerbils for ten minutes. The content of your conversation should grow more pertinent as time goes on, so you should try to keep it interesting from the start.

Make sure your body language also reflects interest.  Keep an optimistic and confident posture. Make sure that you position yourself for easy eye contact with your feet facing in her direction. Make sure it’s quite clear you’re interested in more than just finding out what time it is.

Watch how her eyes move.  If her eyes move from yours, to your mouth back to your eyes back to your mouth, or your body she’s interested! Avoid compulsive behaviors, lean back, relax and keep your cool.

If her eyes stay firmly focused on yours without ever straying past the nose line – bad news, she’s probably not interested.

Here are a few gestures that will help you understand a woman’s body language

• Mirroring – If she copies or mirrors your body language then she is flirting with you. This can happen consciously (if she knows it’s a way to flirt) or subconsciously.  Next time your out observe how couples often mirror each other’s body language.  If you know a girl is interested in you test it out on her.  Lean forward a little bit (or back) and watch if she does the same. Once you know what’s going on its fun to see it in action – really cool.

• Strong Eye Contact – A big part of flirting is using eye contact. If she holds eye contact with you for more than a few seconds at a time then it’s very likely that she’s interested.

• The Eyebrow Pop –  It happens fast. When you approach a woman watch her eyebrows. If they give a lift as you approach and fall then that is a great signal that she is interested.

Never single out just one body language gesture to determine if a woman is interested in you. You have to look at the position and actions of the body as a whole. If her arms are crossed and she has a snarl on her face, but she is holding strong eye contact it’s probably more likely she wants to kill you than have sex with you.  Use common sense when interpreting body language signals too.

-Gary

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1. How To Use Dominant Body Language
2. Expel Submissive Body Language

It’s been said time and time again you can open or ice break the with practically anything. You can just say “Hi” or something random.  The first thing you say isn’t always heard, so it’s not too critical. What matters most is your…

attitude, energy, body language and delivery.  It has to be said in a fun, non-serious, upbeat way.

Funny Openers and Icebreakers

• Shit, I had the best pick-up line I was gonna use on you…but I just forgot it
• Nice skirt, I just saw a few other women with the same one!
• What’s worse? Starving yourself or eating McDonald’s?
• I’ve got this really terrible itch between my shoulder blades that I can’t reach….would you be so kind as to scratch it for me *turn your back to her*…oh that’s much better, thank you *turn around*

• My friends and I were having a bet whereby the loser (gesture at yourself) has to go up to the most beautiful women in the bar and ask her out for a date… So I just wanted to ask you..Who do you think is the most beautiful woman in this bar?

Funny Lines That Can be Injected Into Conversation (Not Icebreakers or Openers)

It’s good to have at least a few funny one liners you can rattle off during a conversation to keep the energy up and laughter frequent.

• If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
• Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
• Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
• Whose cruel idea was it for the word “lisp” to have an “s” in it?
• Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
• Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?
• I bought an ant farm about a month ago and those lazy little bastards haven’t grown shit…
• Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

How To Transition From Icebreaker / Opener to Touching

You: Hey do you do any drugs..and alcohol doesn’t count
Girl: yes/no
You: (if yes)  so are you a bad girl?
(if no) so are you a good girl?

Girl: yes/no (if she says yes or no just act like you don’t believe her)
You: No way I don’t believe you! Prove it!
Girl :Really I am! Just ask my friend! hey (friend) tell him I’m a good/bad girl!

You:  Ok, I guess you are a good/bad girl…I love good/bad girls give me a hug.  Oh whats that smell is that me? (smell your shirt) no is it your hair (lightly smell her hair while your close to her) wow great stuff! smell my first does it smell anything like it, or is it just you?

Basically what you’re doing here is first making her qualify herself in the good/bad girl routine. then you quickly start initiating physical contact so she knows you’re not looking for a friend.

-Gary

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Ever been in a conversation with a woman that’s going nowhere?  When you can almost feel the heavy silent awkwardness in the air?

This is a lot more common than you may think when two people don’t know each other well and lack conversation skill. Luckily, there are ways to get a great conversation going again.

Socially awkward and shy guys tend to dread these conversations.  A conversation will run out of energy when you talk about things that are not important to either of you.  Once you can zero in on a subject that you both find interesting or important you can talk about it tirelessly.

So, the key here is to find what her favorite subject is.

How do you do this?

Ask a lot of questions!  Pay close attention to the answers.

Watch closely as she answers for signs of high interest in the topics that are being discussed such as increased vocal variety and expressions of excitement. Keep asking more questions to drill in further about the subject at hand.

Avoid asking closed questions – those that require a “yes” or “no” to fully answer.  Open ended questions are always the best.

Closed question example: “Do you know what you want?”

Open question example: “How did you get into gymnastics?”

Open ended questions can’t be answered with a simple “yes” or “no.” The main idea of an open ended question is to illicit a thoughtful answer.  It will give her a chance to talk about something that is meaningful to her.

Open ended questions will make your conversations run smooth and become much more enjoyable.

-Gary

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1. Talking To New Women
2. How To Start A Flirty Text Conversation With Girls

When you’re planning to flirt with women, it makes it a heck of a lot easier if you’re in a state where you feel good and like you’re having a fun time. Go workout or do something to relieve stress if need be.  Don’t even bother if you’re strung out or not currently happy.

Confidence and plain ole being in a good mood is a big piece when it comes to effective flirting.

Humor is the bedrock of flirting. Without injected humor your flirting attempts may come out awkward.  It’s good to learn a few funny one liners that you can adapt to many situations.

Examples

• You: “If I pick this up, can I trust you not to stare my ass?” Then bend over and over and really stick your ass out.
• Girl: “Want to play me in this?” You: “You couldn’t handle it”
• You: “I normally charge people to sit this close to me”

When a conversation is going great that is the time to end it. You always want to leave a woman on a high note and end it on your terms.  You should always be the one to end the conversations.

When you end a conversation on high note you leave her wanting more.  It will also make her think about you more when you’re not together.  This is also a good way to end a conversation and get a number before heading off.

-Gary

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Self-Confidence attracts women. Self-confidence is always an attractive quality to the opposite sex (or same sex if you swing that way). Women feel more comfortable around self-assured men. On an instinctual level, they want a mate who is strong and will be able to defend and take care of her. You project this ability with having high self-confidence.

Self-Confidence is a trait that can be learned and cultivated. Most people are not naturally self-confident. They had to learn how to do so through life experience. They have basically learned how to excise negative thoughts and become the best person they were meant to be.

No one wants to be around someone who is negative and self-defeating.  How does a guy that isn’t great looking end up with a 10?  Self-Confidence and personality strength.  A man who exudes self-confidence rubs off on those around him and is someone people want to be around.

It’s key to be open and relaxed with women.  You have to be in control of your world.   This means that you are relaxed, not fidgeting, using strong body language and having fun.

This is one of those things where you can “fake it ‘til you make it.” Even if you don’t have much self-confidence, pretend that you do and act like you do. Your actions will eventually meld into your personality and just become what you are.

Simple example: If you’re feeling depressed, stand up tall, slap the goofiest grin on your face you can possibly muster, pull your shoulders back, stick your chest out and then try to still feel depressed.  It will be a lot harder because your body is no longer in a depressed state.

-Gary

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1. Confidence Boosters #2
2. Confidence Boosters #3

If you’re not immediately comfortable talking with new people or talking to new women you’ve just met, you may find it hard to make lasting connections with them. You also might find it harder to make friends in general.

A mistake people make is that they tend to put a lot pressure on themselves when trying to make a good impression on someone they don’t know.  This makes it more difficult to have a memorable conversation and connect with someone due to all your nerves being jacked up.

When you first start talking to new women, you don’t have to ensure that you say something witty or clever right from the start.  Stop trying so hard.  Let yourself just be ordinary, and talk about fairly normal stuff (at least at the beginning).

You will not win woo women and make friends by trying to show off.  This is an important tip when speaking with women. They see through most of the bullshit, the smart ones do at least.

When you worry about every word coming out properly when you’re approaching or talking to a woman, you’re just making it harder on yourself.  Women can smell a nervous guy a mile away.  Relax and enjoy the presence of someone new.

Simple formula to make another person feel like you had a great conversation:

Listen 80%

Talk 20%

Everyone’s favorite subject is themselves.

For a successful conversation, it’s more important to be a good listener than it is to be an AMAZING speaker.

If you want to quickly make a good connection with someone, shortly after meeting move the conversation to a more personal level and skip the bullshit small talk.  Ask questions that most people would only ask friends they have known for a while, as long as they are not too intrusive.  Pay close attention to how she reacts. If she reacts positively, keep leading the conversation down that same path.  Ask questions that drill deeper into the same subject or ask a question about something they just said.  Just keep them talking and actually listen. Smile and nod occasionally so she knows you’re still there if she’s on a roll.

That’s the fundamental concept for talking to a new woman and making a good connection in the first conversation. Also, avoid fidgeting and nervous movements. If you start to feel an awkward silence make your escape and ask for a number, or if your realized she’s not your type just say “gotta run, it was nice meeting you.”

-Gary

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It can be intimidating trying to come up with the best way to present yourself to the world of online dating, as you naturally want to present yourself in the best light.  It can be even more challenging for those who don’t enjoy writing – even more so writing about a profile about themselves. If you follow these simple profile tips, you will wind up with a decent online dating profile.

1. You want to write enough to garner some interest, but not so much that you’ve explained everything about yourself in couple paragraphs.  The goal is to illicit that first contact and arrange a first date.  If you give it all away, there will be no point in meeting you.
2. Don’t make your requirements too narrow.  If you seem overly picky it will be a turn off.  Describe characteristics about a person you would like as preferences not requirements.  Keep your “must haves” and “want to haves” separate.
3. Tell the truth.  You may want to lie, but every good relationship starts with integrity.  This is no exception. Any lies here could end up biting you in the ass in the future and ruin a potential relationship.
4. Be interesting and avoid a boring cookie cutter profile at all costs. Humor and creativity are the two components that make a profile memorable. Don’t use self deprecating humor – that communicates lack of confidence.  Avoid cheesy clichés unless you’re doing it to be funny.

-Gary

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It’s well known that more than 80% of communication is done through non-verbal communication, otherwise known as body language.  It’s important that you learn how to use strong dominant body language to aid you in meeting and attracting high quality women.

Women know in a second whether or not a man is worth their time. Just like you, they’re looking for someone who is mentally stable, confident, and attractive.  The tone of your voice, the way you carry yourself (body language), the clothes you’re wearing all can help you make it past that snap judgment when you’re meeting a new woman for the first time.

Using dominant body language is one of the fastest ways to instantly make yourself more attractive.  Here are three easy to implement dominant body language tips to convey confidence and set yourself aside from the pack of wusses who can’t event manage to hold eye contact.

1. Learn to hold eye contact longer before looking away with anyone else you’re speaking with.  Do not look away until she does. If you look away first it is a sign of submission.  It’s like saying with your eyes “I’m sorry, I realize I should not have been looking at you in the first place.”  If however, you hold eye contact it’s a deliberate action.  It lets her conscious or unconsciously know that you’re not afraid to purposefully engage her eyes. You’ll find the more you do this with both men and women you’re ability to connect with people in conversation will dramatically increase.
2. Don’t walk around with your head down looking at the ground.  Unless your looking for something you lost, or hoping to find money rolling around on the ground then I can understand. Eyes forward, head up, shoulders back, chest out.
3. Avoid making fast, twitchy, nervous gestures.  Not only does it make you look weird and nervous, it will also make those around you on edge and wonder wtf is wrong with you.  Control your nervous ticks, no leg thumping, hand tapping, drumming on the table, nail biting, ear pulling etc when you’re talking to a woman you’re interested in or on a date.  Move slow and with deliberation., but not like your stuck in molasses.  Just be calm and quell the storm inside.

-Gary

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How To Use Dominant Body Language is a post from: The Geeks Guide To Dating Blog

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Women love to be teased, even if they tell you otherwise or act like they don’t like it. This is they’re way of actually telling you they do in fact like it (as long as their smiling or laughing while saying this of course). Teasing is a quick and easy way to break down her natural defenses and quickly build rapport. To do this you basically make fun of her the same way you would do when you’re a little kid.  You’re not being mean, but just having fun with her.

One of the most effective ways to tease and build attraction is to alternate between hot and cold. Tell a girl you’re out with that you’re glad we’re friends, while you lead her by the hand to the next room or wrap your arms around her. Lay on the teasing, flirting, and touching for a few minutes then don’t touch her again for the next hour or two. If you’ve done this right she will be touching you long before then.

The reason this works is that when you’re doing this you are sending mixed signals. She’s not exactly sure what’s going on but finds you interesting because you’re not all over her like most guys would be if given the opportunity. The more attractive the woman, the more you need to tease her so she sees you as commanding more social value. Then she will have to validate her social value to you and will naturally find you more attractive.

Whenever you’re approaching women or prepared to meet women you have to get yourself into a teasing and playing mode. A good idea is to create 3-4 canned lines will work in most scenarios. This way you’ll always have something at the tip of your tongue so you don’t sit there with your jaw agape after saying “hi” to that hottie in the elevator.

Get some canned lines created, start testing them out and use what works and toss what doesn’t.

Teasing Delivery Tips

Make sure if it’s something that could potentially be taken seriously or perceived as insulting you are smiling, other ways it may not come out they way want it too.  If it’s something really goofy it can be a lot funnier, especially to someone who doesn’t know you from a hole in the wall if you say it with a very serious face.

-Gary

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Women love texting and in most cases, do it a hell of a lot more than guys.  It’s another great tool you can use to take your time formulate a flirty text conversation.  Texting should always be fun, to the point, and never serious.  These messages assume that you obviously already have a phone number.

Here are two easy ways to start a flirty text conversation.

In *most* cases she will reply back with some flirtatious banter.  If she doesn’t “get” that the message is humorous and fun, and is rather offended by it, she’s probably not a girl you want to hang out with anyway. This type of flirting is actually a really good filtering tool that you can use to quickly weed through girls who are worth your time and energy as they are intelligent and socially aware enough to understand teasing and playing.

Example #1

• You: “Hey I saw a show and it reminded me of you.”  - If she’s fun and interested in you than you should get a response similar to this:
• Her: “Oh Yeah?”
• You: “Yeah, there was this girl with a massive handbag so big you could easily stuff a midget in it, reminded me of the one you have”

Example #2

• You: “Hey, I’m willing to take you out again, but only if you promise not to spill your water all over the table this time…can you handle that??”
• Her: “Ha, ha. I think I can try”
• You: “I know no one’s perfect, but you’re gonna have to try to eat spill free this time or else you owe me” - This is a fun way to challenge and tease her – women love this stuff
• Her: “Ha, ha. what would I owe you?” – When she starts asking questions its an indicator of interest.  You’re not obligated to immediately answer, it’s good to leave her hanging for a bit to stir the curiosity pot.
• You: “Well, you’re going to have to wait to find out 6:30 Wed. sound good?” Boom, you’ve asked her out in a fun way and dialed up the attraction dial.

-Gary

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How To Start A Flirty Text Conversation With Girls is a post from: The Geeks Guide To Dating Blog

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Why is online dating so popular?  The answer is clear, its safe and provides an easy way to find out a lot about a person before meeting them and investing your time.  This way you can easily filter through hundreds of women until you find one you’re interested in.

The web has made it very simple to find single women.  No more approaching, striking up conversation, wasting time & emotion, only to find out they have a boyfriend or husband.  Online dating sites have allowed us to connect to just the people we think are, bottom line, hot. If you feel self-concious and have a lot of anxiety with approaching you can use the shield of your monitor to dispel that fear.

It’s also not just about meeting and dating women.  You may also find a lot of the women you meet on dating sites may end up just becoming your friends if the attraction isn’t there.  It’s also a great way to sharpen your game without making an ass out of yourself because time is on your side.  You can take your time to formulate your response in a funny and teasing way.   Doing this on a regular basis on the internet will make it a hell of a lot easier transition to start making this part of your normal response to women.  Teasing creates attraction if done the right way.

So if you’re scared to start approaching women immediatley in public, the web is a good baby step you can take today to hone your game.

Online Dating Profile Tips

1. Cut to the chase. Just list what you want to have, forget the nice to have’s for what you’re looking for.   You don’t want to be too picky.

2. Write with humor. Avoid using lame jokes and stuff that cleary is not funny.  Ask someone else to verify if it’s funny or not.

3. No shirtless pictures.

4. Don’t brag about all your AMAZING accomplishments.

5. Don’t pick a ridiculously sexual name like MikeyBigDong
-Gary

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A Brief Guide To Online Dating is a post from: The Geeks Guide To Dating Blog

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2. Online Dating Email Message Tips
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What they say is true, nice guys always finish last.  The cocky, humorous, jackass will of course never have a problem with picking up women.  Why is this true?

Here are three ways being a “nice guy” will kill your chances of attracting women.

1. You appear boring. Nice guys are usually way too quiet, spineless, and flat out wimps.  They come across as weak and lacking confidence – this is doom when trying to attract women.  You may be the shoulder to cry on, but you will never get ass if you don’t change your ways.

2. You’re always available. Nice guys will do whatever it takes when you need it to make you happy at any whim.  Women are not attracted to things that are very available. Why do women love jewelry? Because it’s hard to acquire.  Think of yourself the same way.  Women are attracted to men who are not always readily available.

3. You’re awkward. Nice guys tend to not be described as “smooth talkers.”  They tend to be way too socially awkward for women to even be remotely interested in them.  They are very self-conscious, avoid risk taking, and play it way too safe for women to find attractive.

Stop being so nice, stop seeking female approval, stop being the shoulder to cry on.

-Gary

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1. Why Shy Guys Can’t Get Girls

Dating and meeting women for shy men can be quite a harrowing experience.  You may feel like you will never find a date while your friends whip through girlfriend after girlfriend.

Shy guys tend to enjoy explaining to everyone how amazingly nice they really are and how well they would care for a girl if they had one.  In the game of dating, overly nice guys usually finish dead last.

First of all stop saying that you’re shy and nice all the time.  It makes you look like a wimp.  Women aren’t going to wait for you to stop being shy and make the first move, from approaching to the first kiss.  If you can’t get over your shyness you may never get a long term girlfriend.

Being shy and un-assertive also makes you appear more feminine and less masculine – not good.  It’s generally acceptable for a woman to get away with being shy, but it unfortunately doesn’t work for guys when it comes to attracting high quality women. If she can feel like she can walk all over you there will be no attraction.

No one is going to do the approaching women, talking to women, and making first moves for you.  You’re going to have to crack the shell man.  It makes you look weak.  To attract women, you need to appear dominant and strong.  Not just physically, I mean mentally, socially, and emotionally.  A woman needs to know she can count on you and a shy guy doesn’t project that.

-Gary

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As you’re waiting in line at the local Starbucks, a super hot woman woman walks in. The first thing you do not want to do is look her up and down like wolf who just found fresh meat. Get your milk and artificial sweetener and plan your attack.

There are a few nice things about coffee shops.

• No shortage of women going in and out
• If it’s a local artsy type of place, you will probably be pre-filtering party girls if that’s not what you’re looking for
• You already have something in common – good coffee

keep in mind your main objective with approaching is always getting either a phone number or email. The “close” is getting the number or email address, don’t worry about getting any further at this point when you’re doing approaches.

It can be a bit intimidating to approach a woman with a crowd of people around. But, who says you have to ask for her number right there, with your caffeinated spectators? You don’t, wait until your outside to ask for her number, but start flirting inside.  Make asking her for her number almost as an after thought, like “hm, maybe I’ll see what she’s up too tonight.” Make sure you don’t come from a place of neediness.

To approach her without it being awkward, she has to be in some proximity to you. Listen to what she orders. Say “Hmm that sounds good! I might try that… If it sucks, you better give me a refund” then wink and smile.

If she’s really lean, and she orders a frou-frou drink without whip cream and with skim milk,  you could bust out the Napolean Dynamite line “I see you’re drinking 1%. Is that ’cause you think you’re fat? ‘Cause you’re not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to.”

Or, while “deciding what you want” let her get in front of you, then say a couple minutes later “ok, well I know what I want now, I’ll have blah blah …oh yeah and tell him no sugar, since you cut me..you owe me BIG TIME”

Don’t frequent the same coffee shop too often to pick up women or you’ll become that guy that the store employees and legit customers can’t stand but can’t find a way to get rid of.

Keep it fun and always think of approaching women as just having fun and trying to have a good time with people around you, not like you are trying to get something out of her.

Implement and practice!

-Gary

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2. How To Dismantle Approach Anxiety

-Gary

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Making out is always a blast and something to look forward too.  Chances, are the girl you’re with is just as stoked as you are. I’m assuming in this section that you have already started with short kisses, even if it was less than an hour ago. Here are some tips on how to makeout to ratchet up her attraction level for you.

• Make sure you have good breath. Brush your teeth, suck on a mint, chomp on some gum, swish some water — do whatever it takes (especially in the early dating stage of a relationship) to make sure your breath is fresh.

• Being unpredictable, playful, and a bit of challenge when kissing can really amp up how much she’ll want you. Turn kissing into a game. Kiss her with some vigor, then back off…lightly kiss her cheek a bit. Go in for the next round of kissing, and as you go in pull away a little right before shes about to kiss you and smile. Do this a few times and if you did it right she will probably grab your head and kiss you while laughing

• Don’t turn her face into a saliva slip and slide. If you feel yourself starting to excessively salivate try swallowing it, or mixing in pecks on the lips, neck, cheek, ear, nose etc. so you can close your mouth for a bit.  This should help you stave off the saliva fountain for a bit.

• Make sure you’re not using your tongue like a snake sniffing out some fresh food.  Slow it down, take long deep licks of her tongue, speed it up a little then go super slow. Explore her mouth, lick underneath her upper lip, suck on her lips, suck on her tongue, get creative and have some fun with kissing her.

• Don’t forget to use your hands, cup her face with one hand, or both hands.  Stick your hand deep into her hair and give it a little pull and grin.  Keep your hands moving and exploring to make it a more stimulating experience, but make sure you move slowly and with at least a little grace.

-Gary

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From Urban Dictionary

If you often have trouble creating close and meaningful relationships with friends or girls you meet, you may be doing some things that make you appear socially awkward. Here are some ways to not be socially awkward.

1. Nothing is more awkward than a nervous, shy, and un-friendly person.  Adopt a sunny, (at least semi) extroverted outlook and befriend the world around you.  Make small talk (BS innocuous questions like “hows the weather?”)  with the people you see everyday. Slow down your gestures and move deliberately.

2. Learn how to be funny in a way that is actually funny. When you crack a joke, and no one laughs, just kind of looks at you funny, or gets pissed off, it’s probably time to work on this aspect of your game. Being funny and having a sense of humor is something that can be learned.

3. Embrace the gaps of silence in conversation. It’s perfectly normal to not be talking at all times. Being comfortable with the natural gaps in conversation is a big sign of a self-assured and high confidence person.

4. Avoid talking about anything too sexually crude, especially if it’s a woman you just started seeing. Remember, when your out on a date your not in the locker room or Barrens chat.

5. Avoid sharing stories that you should probably keep to yourself, like that time you screamed like a girl crapped yourself when you watch The Ring.

6. Don’t ask people questions that will put them on the spot or make them uncomfortable when you don’t know them well. When someone is with you, they want to remember having fun with you, not stress and weird questions.  If there is something you want to ask that you wouldn’t want to be asked, don’t ask it.

-Gary

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2. Talking To New Women

1. Heed the advice of the people who really know style. Don’t let your style be influenced by your mom, dad, girl your dating, or wife unless they really know what they’re talking about.  Read the advice of the experts on web sites such as askmen.com, GQ,  mens fashion on about.com then pick and choose what you like so you own it.  The cool thing about doing this is that no matter what you choose, you can’t go wrong (in most cases see #2).

2. Make sure that the new clothes you buy (based on the looks you found in the above websites) that you feel comfortable wearing them and it will still suit your personality. Obviously, just because an anorexic model is wearing something doesn’t mean you should.  You wouldn’t want to look like this guy, common sense still has to apply here. Stick to the classics when in doubt.

3. Style is about more than what you wear. Put the same set of clothes on a guy who is in shape and the same set on a guy who has a rounded back, button busting gut, and a concave chest, no matter how you slice it the guy who is in shape will look better. Getting in shape = better looking clothing fit. Make it yours – roll up the sleeves, use a cool belt, un-do a few buttons, etc.

4. A big part of your style is how you handle yourself and your day to day attitude. It’s not just about your clothing. Do you bitch to your co-workers and friends all day about your personal life frustrations? Or, do you do your job or hang out, and have fun with it? Who do you think will appear as the cooler guy? The one who keeps his head…or the one who loses it every 30 minutes and acts like a little bitch?

5. Get a decent pair of shoes, it is often the first thing a woman looks at to figure out your financial status. Women pay attention to the details! This is the one part of your outfit you don’t want to be cheap with.

Action Plan: Go to linked sites, find one new trendy outfit, buy it, and make it yours.

-Gary

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When most guys think about approaching a woman they tend to make nervous movements, speak rapidly, freeze up, or explode into a pile of nerves leading to rejection.  Usually, the hotter the girl the higher the nervous factor. There are a few simple and easy ways to dismantle your approach anxiety.

A good way to dismantle this type of thinking is to remember that on the inside whether she’s hot, average, or ugly, fat, skinny, etc we’re all the same anatomically (mostly). Another way to shed some anxiety is to immediately look for her flaws to help you realize she isn’t perfect either. See my previous entry Chop Down The Pedestal for more on this subject.

This will help you deal with being rejected as not every woman you talk too is going to like you, no matter what you do. It will help reduce how much you feel like you lost or failed. Remember, she isn’t any more valuable than YOU are, so if she gave you the cold shoulder, it’s her loss.

You have to come from a place of feeling like you are the most important person in your world. Anyone else who is allowed into your world should feel privileged to know you. Also, the more you do it, the less you will feel like you have lost over time.  Turn approaching women into a game, or think of it a social experiment until you get good at it, detach yourself from any negative emotions you may have experienced before from rejection.

Action Plan: Go to a public place like a mall and approach 10 women. We’re not trying to get phone numbers, just getting comfortable speaking to random women and coming up to them cold. This is what you do make eye contact and say “hey, you are absolutely gorgeous and I had to stop you to tell you…<she replies> I have to get going, unfortunately tight on time” wave and leave. Very simple, just give a compliment and have some fun with it. Do it and let me know how it goes.

-Gary

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Here are some common things women have told me they dread and can’t stand when guys say them, enjoy.

1. On The First Bunch Of Dates: “We this..” “We that…” “We should..”

When you start saying things like “Oh, we should go to that sushi place….” or “I’ll take you out on my boat next time” or “We’ll definitely do that!” on the first or second date it reveals that you are very into her, she has you by the cajones and the fun is over. Don’t let her know she has won you over so easily. You don’t want to be that jackass who says he would love to put a ring on her finger after the first date.

2.  “How many guys have you had sex with?”

If you want to start a budding relationship off with oodles of tension, this is how you do it. I mean, honestly do you really want to know? You’re with her and that’s all that matters. It shows a big lack of confidence by having to ask this question in the early stages.

3. “I left you a message but you didn’t call me..whats up with that?”

Never let a woman know in the early stages of dating that her not calling you back bothers you. If you do, it shows again, you are way too into her too early and the game is over. Be busy, don’t give a crap if she doesn’t call you back, don’t give it any thought and most important don’t speak about it. The rules of course change when it comes to longer lasting relationships.

4. “So….Do you like me?”

If you want crank her attraction dial down into the negatives this is the question to ask. Of course she likes you, she’s with you isn’t she?

5. “What do you want to do?”

Be a leader, have a plan, and take charge. It’s very important in the early stages that you show that you in fact know how to be a man.

6. “Is it ok if I kiss you?”

No talking – just do it.

-Gary

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1. How To Call A Woman To Ask Her Out
2. Talking To New Women

Most people forget that there are places other than bars and clubs to meet women. Chances are, you will find a higher quality woman at one of the places described below than the typical bar scene anyway.  Check these places out for some great locations to easily meet and start conversations with women.

1. Ballroom Dance Lessons / Class

Guys hate it, women love it, which is why YOU should be there! Less guys, more women = less competition. I’m talking a 3:1 ratio here, at worst.  Another plus, you will get to dance with body contact with a lot of different hot women, which is always fun.  Even if you find you don’t meet anyone you like, you will have a new skill to add to your arsenal that most guys don’t have. If you can teach a woman what you’ve learned in dance class — they will be impressed! It’s a great way to immediatley start touching as well.

Icebreaker: “I know we need to dance close, but please don’t get too excited now…”

2. Home Depot / Lowes / Craft stores

If you’re looking for a woman who is self-reliant and indepdendent look no further than your local DYI store.

Icebreaker: “Hey check out this caulking gun..rather than that one, it works a lot better”

3. Men and Women’s Shoe Store

Again, another spot where typically there will be more women than men.  It’s critical that is BOTH a men AND woman’s shoe store or you may look kinda gay.

Icebreaker: “Hey, you look like you may know a little bit about fashion..which pair do you like better, these or these?”

4. Book Stores

Preferably one with a cafe inside -  Prove you’re more than just another pretty face, and ask a woman who is in your favorite sections if she’s read one of your favorite reads.

Icebreaker: “Hey, looking for a good <subject name> book? check this out…it’s kick ass. I’m going to grab a coffee..would you like to join me?”

5. Yoga Class

Increase your flexibility, relax, and watch girls in tight pants contort their bodies in enjoyable ways. Once the women in the class realize you’re straight and are masculine and confident enough to step foot into that type of class the game is already half over.

Icebreaker: <say to woman you are interested in> “Hey, No staring at my ass…I’ll be watching you!” with a wink.

-Gary

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She’s hot and before you know it you’re stuffing your hands into your pockets and just making weird movements while talking to a woman. You need to eliminate this and all forms of submissive body language to make yourself appear more confident and attractive.

When you see an extremely attractive woman, you want to meet her, yet you have anxiety. You have conflictingly high levels of both fear and attraction, chances are you will approach with submissive body language and shrink your chances of succes.

You may avoid eye contact. You only look when you know the other person is looking at something else, rather than holding eye contact.

You look down. You avoid conflict by averting your eyes, rather than looking the person you are speaking with directly in the eyes.

You adopt a submissive posture. You make yourself smaller and take up less space, rather than spreading out and making yourself comfortable.

You speak with a soft voice, rather than a strong deep voice.

You follow, rather than lead mentally and logistically.

Start consciously working on reducing these types of gestures in every situation, not just when you’re talking to women. You will find that when you change the state of your body it will change the state of your mind. Walk tall, shoulders back, chin up, look people directly in the eye, hands at your sides, move slowly and take up space. Give it a rip, and let me know how it goes in the comments below.

-Gary

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A lot of people aren’t exactly sure how text messages can be used as an attraction tool, so I outlined some of my favorite ways of using text messages to flirt.

• If you have been living in a cave and don’t already know all the netspeak such as omg, lol, cul8r, <3 etc,  check out netlingo.com and learn the common sayings.

• Tease heavily and use it as a tool to build up sexual tension. If you’re already dating someone, you can send her a text message in the morning about what you you’re going to do to her when she gets home. That way, she will be thinking about you all day and will probably want to jump your bones by the time you walk in the door.  By sending the first message in the morning, you create anticipation for the good times to come.

• This is one of the few times I would advocate using smiley faces because tone is lost in text messages. Use the wink face ; ) when you are saying something that could be taken as mean to show that you are saying it in a playful manner. Don’t overuse text faces however, you don’t want every message you send to have a wink or a smile face   Use them sparingly and only when necessary.

• If the textversation (made up a new word!) goes dry — let it. Don’t always be the one trying to keep the conversation going.  A magical thing happens you stop trying so hard to keep a woman’s attention. In most cases, if you’ve done things right and she is attracted to you, your phone should have a new text on it within the day or next day.

• Make sure the way you flirt through text messages is also the way you flirt in person. Consistency is key.

• If she doesn’t respond immediately to a question don’t nag and bug for an answer. It’s just plain annoying.  If you need an answer to a question that bad call. She could be busy and you don’t want to appear clingy.

• Don’t always respond to messages immediately either. Keep her waiting a bit sometimes, even if you’re not busy. It will help keep her interested if you’re not always instantly available.

-Gary

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Here is a three step formula for calling a woman to ask her out that helps take the complexity and pressure off of making that first call.

No texting, no emailing, be a man and call.

1. Relax

Chances are that she is going to be as nervous as you are when you call. To calm your nerves think of it like you are calling an old friend or a family member, it’s not a big deal. Don’t forget: she gave you her number in the first place, so she is expecting you to call. Realize that Relax and keep in mind you both are just looking to have fun and meet someone new.

2. Sound Excited

You don’t want to call for the first time and sound bored or tired. Only make the first call when you are feeling energetic and are in a good mood.

Dont say: “Hey…it’s bob…remember me? do you uhhh want to go out sometime?”

Say: “Hey what’s up! It’s bob! what are you up to tomorrow afternoon? <blah blah blah not too much> Cool..would you be interested in joining me for a cup of coffee at Barnes & Noble downtown tomorrow? great see you then” Sound happy

IF response = “yes” {

proceed as described above}

IF response = “maybe” (which means no but she does not want to hurt your feelings) OR “no”, “I’m busy’, etc, etc {

don’t let her know in your voice or by what you say in anyway shape or form that you were phased by her rejection. If you act like her rejection doesn’t bother you in the slightest (which it shouldn’t anyway as the saying goes..”plenty of fish in the sea”) it may peak her interest. The confident man can deal with rejection and say “next!” The fact is not every woman is going to be attracted to you no matter how good looking, rich, smooth talking, funny, or smart you are.

Say the following: “Ok, you’re going to miss out on a good time! they have such great coffee, can’t wait to grab some tomorrow…anyway, I gotta take the dogs out, take it easy!” }

3. 3 – 5 minute phone call MAX

Keep it short and sweet. Make the appointment and get off the phone. You will have plenty talk about in person and you don’t want to exhaust everything you have to say before you meet face to face.

-Gary

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1. Spell check is your friend
2. Don’t get too personal with the first email. Keep it light and fun.
3. Don’t ask lame questions like “Can I be your knight in shining armor?, Am I the one for you?”
4. Make sure you personalize your emails – the shotgun principle ( send out the same email to every profile you see ) doesn’t work here and will get your message dropped in the trash.
5. Copy the energy level of her profile. If she appears to be the leveled and chilled out type make sure your email mirrors the same energy. If she seems outgoing and adventurous, write your email with some injected excitement.
6. This is a good rapport progression for meeting someone from an online dating website without seeming too creepy:

• Back and forth communication with three email messages
• Instant Messaging
• Phone
• Then meet. Before meeting make sure you have both exchanged recent photos of each other holding a newspaper. That way you’ll know the hot 105lb woman you see in the profile is not not 300lb.

-Gary

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Which do you like better, the before or after shot? A rhetorical question, I know. It is common knowledge that men are visual creatures and women are emotional creatures, however women still want you to look good.  We men instantaneously make snap  judgments about which women we think are hot and want to shag. Guess what – women do the same thing, even though they don’t talk about it as openly (usually) and harshly as men do. Men who workout and keep themselves in shape will naturally attract more women for a variety of reasons.

Given the obesity statistics of most of the developed nations, it’s clear that most people are flat out ginormous and out of shape. This means that the majority of your competition vying to date the best women will probably be a little flabby. This is good news for you if you’re in this category.

When you get in shape and lose the extra insulation, you will notice a strange phenomenon. You will notice women you don’t know looking at you differently. They will smile at you more frequently and meet your eyes. Bottom line – they will find you more attractive just like you did with the picture above. You become more pleasing to the eyes.

When you’re in shape, it communicates that you care about your appearance and how you present yourself to the world. It also shows that you are capable of managing and taking care of yourself. If you can’t take care of yourself, how could you take care of her?

Another side benefit: when you watch your body transform from working hard and eating right it will dramatically boost your self confidence. Women can smell self confidence from a mile a way, and lack of it can be a deal breaker.

Rise above the obesity herd and get your ass in shape

Action Plan:

1. Create an exercise plan TODAY, not tomorrow, not Monday today. March yourself down to the local gym and sign up. If money is an issue do push ups, sit ups, squats, and pull ups in your garage or house and run sprints on the street.

2. Eat better today. You know what’s good for you and what isn’t. McDonalds…baaaaaad. Salads with olive oil for dressing…gooooood.

-Gary

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You may be thinking, “you know… we have so much fun together and she would be perfect for me. We have the same friends, I know her parents, and I know that ‘The Notebook’ turns on the water works.”

If you unveil your emotions or “true feelings” to your friend it will most likely result in ruining the friendship and her avoiding you for a while. Hopefully she will forget shortly and your now strained friendship can resume.

If the foundation of the relationship is not based in a sexual way then the emotional unveiling will not work. The vibe of your friendship will have forever changed, even if she assures you after rejecting you that it won’t.

It may sound like I am being negative, but I am only trying to prevent you from damaging a potential life long friendship. From past experience and talking to other women who have gone through this – it’s a bad idea.

What you need to do:

1. Don’t talk about your emotions to anyone on this subject, don’t give it life..keep that crap inside.

2. Go to a website like http://www.plentyoffish.com/ and check out 20 hot single girls to remind you that there are in fact other single women who are looking and available.

3. Be glad you have a great friend and leave it at that

-Gary

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1. Avoid  fighting in public with a woman your dating, save it for a private place

2. Don’t forget to introduce the woman your with as your date, friend, girlfrend to people when you’re out together

3.  If you initiate dinner plans then you should pay and vice versa.

4. Always let the woman order first

5. Always put your napkin in your lap at dinner

6. The bigger, more mature man can walk away from a potential altercation

7. Look people directly in the eyes when you meet or greet and give them a handshake.

8. In meetings, don’t hold conversations at the same time someone else is speaking. Let the other person finish their point before speaking.

9. Don’t talk so loud the world around you can hear your conversation

10. Don’t talk down to others

-Gary

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Nice – you did a decent job breaking the ice and scored a date. Now it’s time to make a great first impression. The time before you go out can be a bit nerve wracking, so here are some ways to calm the nerves and make you feel more confident.

1. Workout about 3-4 hours before you planned to meet. Make sure its a challenging workout. This will level you out and curb anxiety.

2. Pick up a gossip magazine like People and browse through it for about 10 – 15 minutes so you at least have a clue about the stuff women love to read and talk about. You’ll learn who’s cheating on who in hollywood, etc.  This will give you something to connect with almost any woman.

3. Plan so that you are on time. If you’re running late send a text.  It’s not cool to be “casually late” on a first date.

4. Take a relaxing shower, brush and floss your teeth, etc. Make sure you have clean nails and ears. Women notice the little details.

5. Stay positive and remind yourself that you are both going out to have a good time. Remember to make sure you smile when you first meet.

6. Bring a condom. If a woman is willing to have sex with you on the first date… not exactly long term relationship material and an ever BETTER reason to bring a condom. Better to be safe than having to get tested for STDs the next day.

-Gary

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The first date should always be lively, fun, casual, low cost, and offer a quick escape if need be. Avoid dates that require long time investments. If you find things aren’t working out and you’re not digging the woman you’re with, you can easily get out of the date within less than 20 minutes after you’ve had your coffee, ice cream, etc.

Forget the classic “dinner and a movie” date for a first date as it’s boring, expensive, and does not offer an easy out. If you’re single, there is a good chance you will have multiple first dates with different people. This can start to chew into your wallet if your constantly going the dinner or dinner and a movie route. Keep it simple, and stick to one of the four locations below. Meet each other at each location so that if things happen to go south, you don’t have to bear an awkward ride to your cars together.

All of these locations are in public so the woman feels more comfortable. Never invite a woman you have no rapport with to your home for a first date as this may appear rapistesque.

1. Coffee Shop – Ideally the one that isn’t a a big chain and has some local flair. The caffeine will give you both an endorphin rush that you can both enjoy together, and best of all these types of environments have a vibe that encourages interesting conversation.

2. Ice Cream – Similar to the coffee shop in that it’s low investment and yields delicious treats.  Great way to enjoy the weather while learning about someone new. You can test with ice cream to see if she’s ready to kiss you , “Want some? its wicked good!” If she does eat off your spoon, she also feels comfortable enough to kiss you.

3. Park – Lowest investment of all, all you have to pay for is your gas to get there. Its very natural to hold hands while walking in a park, so don’t hesitate to grab her hand to start physical contact early on.

4. Mall - Great for craptacular weather and allows you to walk and look at different things to keep the conversation rolling.

This should go without saying, but be a gentleman and pay for both your treat and hers. We’re keeping the first dates cheap, you can afford $10.

-Gary

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Tact is a skill that anyone can learn. It is the ability to be sensitive to the feelings and internal dialogue of other people. If you have it, it can give you a significant edge when it comes to meeting and attracting women. If you don’t, your relationships with everyone are probably more strained than they should be, or hardly exist at all.

People who have mastered tact naturally know what is going on in the minds of others. Sensing this, they can then respond in a way that influences people in a positive way. You have to be careful with this though, employing too much tact can make you look like a wimp. There has to be a fine balance between using tact and maintaining that little edginess women love.

Example: “Nice dress…”(then wink & smile)

The “Nice dress” portion of this allows you to check her out without being creepy. You could probably get away with one “up and down” but any more than that or excessive staring would be acting without tact. Don’t get greedy with your eyes. The wink is flirtatious and helps you stand out from the droves of guys who simply drop compliments left and right and hoping for the best.

The amount of tact you use should be based on the person you are talking too. It requires awareness and the ability to change your behavior based on the way the person you are speaking with reacts to you.

For example, If you’re being too sexually aggressive or not quite aggressive enough with a woman you have just started seeing, you should keep your senses tuned to the way she is reacting to your advances or she may be encouraging them if you’re not being aggressive enough. If she suddenly seems defensive realize you should lay off and take a couple steps back. If she starts allowing you into her “comfort zone” or she moves into yours and you do nothing about it, it will signal to her you’re not attracted to her.

High Amounts of Tact

People with high amounts of tact are polite, courteous, and select their words carefully. Listening is key. They know what people say and what they mean. Too much tact can make you look dorky and boring. Balance is key, so have tact but still be direct and to the point. It’s ok to risk upsetting people occasionally.

Low Amounts of Tact

People with low levels of tact don’t shy from saying or doing exactly what it is they are thinking. They are often perceived as blunt, rude, or too aggressive. People may find this type of person a bit intimidating.

For example, a guy with low levels of tact would look a woman up and down 25 times during their conversation and totally creep her out because he thinks shes hot. Not the way to do it.

Balance Is Key

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2.    Never let anyone else ruin your fun.  Your significant other or friend is being a jackass? Leave the area and call some people who are and want to be around you.  Don’t put up with any bullshit, ever.  If you do it once you will do it again.  The less you put up with, the more people will respect you and the more you will respect yourself for having integrity.

3.    Don’t let your job take over your life.  Make sure you have free time to clean your house, clean your desk, and maintain other friendships.  Make it a point to spend at LEAST one night a week with friends that you have a great time with.

4.    Become a constant learner.  When you meet someone new try to learn as much as you can from them if they specialize or work in something you have never done before.  The more you know, the more you can talk about and better relate to people from different walks of life.

5.    Socialize with everyone that crosses your path.  Say Hi to the coffee guy and ask him how his day is going. Don’t be that person who works from 9-5 and doesn’t say a word to anyone in the office.  Don’t be cheesy about it either..don’t walk around with a shit eating grin plastered on your face all day.  Just acknowledge the prescence of others and ask them something about what they do and how its going.  “Hey Bob, how was the hike?”  etc  People love it when you remember detail about their lives.

6.    Don’t do the same thing day in day out.  Do something fun, different, and exciting.  The people that complain that life is so boring and monotonous aren’t living; they’re waiting to die.

7.    Work hard, play hard, and know how to really relax. Make sure you’re getting at least 7 hours of sleep.

-Gary

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2. Confidence Boosters #1
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1.    Know that it is ok to fail. A key to maintaining high self worth is to acknowledge that failure is part of life. If you’re not failing, you’re not growing. Take risks and learn from them if you fail. Failure is only acknowledged when you have stopped trying.

2.    Learn a new skill. You’ll increase what you know, what you can talk about, and you will become a more interesting person.  It will allow you to better enjoy all life has to offer and in turn will make you view each day as something new and exciting.  Take a yoga/martial arts/painting/cooking/language/computer/music class, etc.

3.    Exercise every day. There are literally thousands of positive reasons to exercise. It will decrease your bad cholesterol, increase your good cholesterol, lower blood triglycerides, decrease blood pressure, decrease stress, helps you lose weight, gain muscle, increase your self image, increase your self confidence, fend off heart disease, and give you more energy throughout the day. This run on sentence just touches the surface of the benefits of living an active life style.

4.    Eat a top notch diet. You will feel better about yourself and have the energy to remain positive through the day. Eat to live, don’t live to eat.

5.    Care about your appearance. Walk tall, shoulders back, head up, eyes forward (NOT at the ground). Look people directly in the eyes when you speak with them. Do not fear eye contact. Don’t stare like a statue though; you don’t want to look creepy either.  Look away once in a while.  When you adopt confident body language you will become more confident.  When you adopt submissive and defensive body language you will be feel less confident. Changing the state of your body will change the state of your mind.

-Gary

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This will kill any remnants of attraction she may have felt for you

When a woman feels like she has you in the palm of her hand, there is no need for her to vie for your attention. The game will be over before it started and that’s boring. Boredom is the enemy.

There is a reason why the guys who know what they’re doing when first talking to a group of girls totally ignore the one girl they are actually interested in. Think about it. First, observe that by ignoring the woman they are interested in they are doing the opposite of putting her on a pedestal. This is a psychological tactic that will inject curiosity, give you a mysterious air, and best of all make her feel like she will have to work to get your attention. This is more effective on hotter women as they are used to being drooled on by every guy who’s eyeballs give her the up and down. Nice, now the tables are turned.  Rather than being the pursuer, you may now be the perused.

Men who put women on a pedastel will be dominated and controlled like a boring puppet. Do the opposite, but don’t be a jackass either.

-Gary

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Chop Down The Pedastel is a post from: The Geeks Guide To Dating Blog

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2. Know that your time is valuable.  You have the right to be annoyed when people waste it by not being on time, keeping you waiting, bailing on you, etc.

3. Know that you have the ability to learn and accomplish anything with enough persistence, blood, sweat and tears.

-Gary

If you like what you’re reading here, check out my eBook for more content that will NEVER be posted on my blog.

Buy The eBook

Confidence Boosters #1 is a post from: The Geeks Guide To Dating Blog

Related posts:

1. Confidence Boosters #2
2. Confidence Boosters #3
3. Self-Confidence Attracts Women