Hard Love & How to Fuck in High Heels is a two-for-the-price-of-one DVD from Jackie Strano and Shar Rednour by their production company S.I.R. Video Productions. It was the 2001 AVN Winner of Best All-Girl Feature and is a DVD I’ve been lusting after for almost that long.

I remember walking into the Babeland here in Seattle many many years ago and seeing a display of queer porn including this DVD and one of their other productions Sugar High Glitter City (review coming soon). Immediately I was drawn to it, a budding femme at the time, and I longed to buy it but I was broke at the time. It’s been on my mind many times since that day so long ago, but I never got around to picking it up, until now.

I’ve only recently become aware of the many wonderful porn companies out there who are, as S.I.R. Video proudly proclaims, “100% dyke produced.” My other two porn reviews are of similarly queer productions and I enjoyed them immensely.

Shar Rednour wrote the book on femme (quite literally in fact–she wrote The Femme’s Guide to the Universe) so I knew these movies would be full of butch/femme goodness, and I was not disappointed. Both films were very much butch/femme based, and How to Fuck in High Heels shows us femme in a way that’s unusual to see (but not unusual to happen): Shar Rednour is the ultimate femme top.

In both Hard Love and How to Fuck in High Heels all the dildos are made by Vixen Creations, and when we watched it Marla and I were trying to figure out which toy was which. Some of them look specially made in gorgeous marbled colors like pink and black, teal, brown, and black (which is gorgeous), and blue and white; others are solid colors like black and hot pink.

Also, gloves are used for digital penetration, dental dams are used for oral sex, and condoms are used for anal penetration, which is wonderful to see in any porn.

Title: Hard Love
Tagline: “Carnal Dyke Lust, Fiery Drama, & Passionate Hardcore Sex!!!”

Writer & Director: Shar Rednour
Cast: Jackie Strano, CC Belle, Tina D’Elia, and Johnny Fremont

Length: 51 minutes
Year: 2000

Synopsis

A dyke drama-licious tale of ex-lovers Jaz (Jackie Strano) and Renee (CC Belle) and their final goodbye sex, or possibly make-up sex, or possibly… whatever it ends up being, that we don’t really see. Jaz is now with Talia (Tina D’Elia), and Renee is with Devon (Johnny Fremont), so we get to see them with their respective honeys, but Renee is moving and has solicited the help of her old flame Jaz. Of course, Talia has something to say about this, and Renee doesn’t use the fact that Jaz is coming over to stop her from fooling around with Devon. Once all the dust clears we have Jaz and Renee packing up Renee’s things and reminiscing about old times, which, of course, leads to more sex.

Scene-by-scene

We start with Jaz and Talia, going right into the fucking, no back story, no information except for these two black-clad people fucking on a gorgeous wooden kitchen island. The chemistry between the two is unmistakable, which is what I really go for in any porno. If the chemistry is good then the scenes are worth watching.

The scene cuts to Renee and Devon coming in to Renee’s apartment, after lamenting having no time to do anything because she needs to pack Devon talks Renee into doing a strip-tease for him. It’s very cute and very cheesy, and when Marla and I watched it together we were amused at the cheesyness and how much the dialogue sounded like a conversation we would have. Renee strips down from her “corporate drag” until she’s in nothing but stockings, a garter, and panties.

Before long she has Devon’s cock out from under his chaps and jeans and is sucking it with extreme close-ups such as above. While a lot of the shots are acceptable, the extreme close-ups were not appealing, they were just too close and not really sexy at all. Luckily it continually switched between different viewpoints, but every time it got so close we both were taken out of the storyline.

The other shots that really irked us while watching were the two above. Separately they would be fine, but they switched between those two views as if they were the same scene and Renee wasn’t in a radically different position in each of them. I realize the reason for this, to give a better shot of the big black Vixen Creations cock, but it was still irritating to watch. However, it didn’t take away too much from the movie as a whole, but it was enough to mention.

Cock riding changes into some doggy-style fingering (with gloves on) after which Renee convinces Devon to give her a strip-tease since she gave him one and turnabout is, as they say, fair play. I was a big fan of this butch strip-tease, done in a very casual and teasing manner, you can tell that both actors were enjoying themselves. Moving from chaps to jeans to tighty whities and plain white tank top and just tighty whities and cock sticking out.

Devon crawls back onto the bed with Renee before the scene cuts back to Jaz and Talia, giving us more of that extreme close-up with Talia this time as we watch some delicious mutual masturbation. At least the extreme close-ups don’t last for too long in this scene either, and we get to watch Jaz jacking off with a cock that looks suspiciously like Brando.

Once they’re finished the drama begins, and we learn that Jaz is supposed to go help her ex (Renee) move, and now the plot starts falling in to place. There’s bickering and fighting that’s all too realistic and Jaz is heading out the door when he changes his mind and turns around, heading to where Talia is taking a bath and jumping in with her fully clothed, which I found incredibly sweet and cheesy, which seems to be a theme.

After a zig-zag swipe (kinda like a star swipe but different) we come back to Renee and Devon, seeming to pick up where the last shot of them left off, and not a moment later Jaz bursts through the door. Devon promptly high-tails it so that Renee and Jaz can have a nice drama-licious fight. After much yelling and back-and-forth things settle down to packing up Renee’s stuff, proving that Jaz is still her bitch… er… butch, her butch. That’s it, yeah.

Of course, the calmer atmosphere post-fight is conductive to some sweet goodbye/make-up/break-up/something-or-other sex, which was predictable and I groaned as they started reminiscing and touching, the obvious signs that sexing was on the way.

It starts sweet, and just like every other pairing there is obvious chemistry and feelings flying between them. They strip each other while laying in to it with a mix of passion and remorse for the relationship they once had, it’s pretty emotional which I found surprising to find in a porno. There is some gloveless fingering, the only we see in either of the movies, and before long Renee is scooting back to the edge of the bed.

Not only do we see the only gloveless fingering in the movies, but we also see the only anal sex, perhaps showing just how connected they are, able to engage in such an intimate act. It is sexy and intimate, a great farewell to a great relationship.

Title: How to Fuck in High Heels
Tagline: “Outrageous Sex-Ed, Serious Stilettos, Scorching Dirty Talk, & Daring Babedick Action!”

Director: Jackie Strano
Cast: Shar Rednour, Josephine X, Simone, and Chester Drawers.
Interview/Photo Shoot Cast: Lady Lite, Jamie Ben-Azay, Nicole Katler, Edrie Sachade, Veronica Savage, and Arty Fischel.

Length: 36 minutes
Year: 2000

Synopsis

Based on a performance piece by Shar Rednour in which she explains how to fuck in high heels and the virtues of doing so. Includes a recording of her performance piece spliced with an “interview” of the cast and crew. After the interview and performance piece is over we get three delicious scenes of Shar Rednour calling the shots in gorgeous lingerie, flawless make-up, glitter, and high heels to die for.

Scene-by-scene

The first 10 or so minutes is Shar’s performance piece spliced with an “interview” of the cast and crew of How to Fuck in High Heels. The interview is clearly satirical and pretty amusing.

The first scene is between Shar and Simone in which Shar is sporting a glittery red bra, a gorgeous red cock and the matching red glittery Wonder Woman Harness by Aslan Leather, both of which I immediately wanted to reach into the screen and have for myself.

After an impressive blowjob and some titfucking during which Shar is leaning against a ladder looking very sexy–a necessary sex accessory according to her performance piece–the positions switch to Shar fucking Simone from behind wearing a camo bikini top, a thin black leather harness, and a thick teal, brown, and black marbled cock (you’ll have to get the movie to see that one, but trust me when I say it’s GORGEOUS).

Simone is also gorgeous in her hot pink babydoll that looks lovely against her skin, and knee-high black leather boots with impressive heels. In case you haven’t noticed I’m highlighting the lingerie, heels, and cocks that are displayed because it’s pretty much necessary in a piece called How to Fuck in High Heels.

Here we get start getting used to Shar’s almost constant stream of dirty talk, which was unexpected and somewhat annoying at first until I was used to it. She uses her dirty talk to make sure to keep her Top energy going through every moment of her scenes, helping her bottoms do exactly what she wants, and making sure her bottoms are in the right headspace, which is the mark of a truly good Top.

The next scene finds Shar back against that ladder again, looking fabulous while she gets her pink and black cock sucked by Chester Drawers and her shiny vinyl buckle-laden high heeled boots shined by two dutiful butches, busting the worn Butch Top/femme bottom stereotype easily with the way she commands them both.

We switch to Shar laying gracefully on a bed with great see-through spike heels which she promptly instructs Chester to suck, giving us a good taste of high heel worship and then feet worship while he then moves on to lick and suck her well manicured toes. Of course a movie about High Heels must include some shoe and feet worship.

This was the only part of the movie that didn’t quite jive with me. While seeing Chester sucking and licking on the heel of her shoe was mildly sexy when he moved on to the toes it dropped in sexyness. Not to say there’s anything wrong with some feet worship if you’re in to that, but it doesn’t turn me on.

Finally, we cut to Chester lying down while Shar works him up to taking her gloved hand inside of him while he continues to lick and suck her toes. Her dirty talk is continuing throughout all of this, of course, and the look in Chester’s eyes is one of submission and really a beautiful sight to see.

Our introduction to Josephine is in a brief interview clip before getting down and dirty. We meet a curly-haired pink-clad tattooed and pierced woman who is a “recent convert to the Shar Church of High Heels” and proud of it. She is passionate and enthusiastic as well as adorable and that all comes through in her scene with Shar.

They start off with some oral sex with a dental dam, showing that with enough lube dental dams can be sexy and show everything while making sex safer. They move to some combined analingus and cunnilingus, switching between the two and getting Josephine worked up to take Shar’s cock.

Shar straps on a black and white marbled Nexus, a double-ended dildo made for strap-on play, along with the still gorgeous Wonder Woman Harness and lays down so Josephine can straddle her and ride her cock. This makes it clear that Josephine is covered in glitter, matching Shar’s harness and her own pink glitter collar wonderfully.

They decide Josephine should have something a little bit bigger, and since Shar has a hot pink cock that matches Josephine’s collar that seems to be the perfect cock for her. Throughout the entire scene they swap dirty talk wonderfully, and it’s clear that they both enjoy each other quite a bit.

In the final scene the tables turn and Shar is the one taking a marbled blue and white cock from Josephine while they both wear matching silver glittery heels and Josephine is sporting a gorgeous silver glittery harness, absolutely femmetastic. Part way through the scene a rosy glow comes over them, literally, like you can see in the image above.

The image fades with the pair still fucking away, and the credits roll for both the movies. Overall Hard Love & How to Fuck in High Heels definitely met and exceeded the expectations I’ve been building of it over the past half-dozen years since I first saw it. It was cheesy (though I like cheesy), and the camera work wasn’t the best I’ve ever seen, but the connections between actors and the sexy, well, everything was enough to keep me hooked until the end.

Much thanks to Babeland for sending me Hard Love & How to Fuck in High Heels! Coming soon, Sugar High Glitter City.

Rating: 4 Lotus’ (out of 5) – Very Good & Highly Recommended

Femme–an identity that has caused controversy, celebration and ridicule–is now the topic of a two-volume set from Homofactus Press and editor Jennifer Clare Burke titled Visible: A Femmethology. Femmethology calls the LGBTQI community on its own prejudice and celebrates the diversity of individual femmes. Award-winning authors, spoken-word artists, and totally new voices come together to challenge conventional ideas of how disability, class, nationality, race, aesthetics, sexual orientation, gender identity and body type intersect with each contributor’s concrete notion of femmedom. - from femmethology.com

This month of April marks something I’ve been waiting for quite some time: the Femmethology virtual blog tour! Today is lucky enough to be my day, and so I’m sharing some of my feelings and insights related to the Femmethology. Visit Daphne Gottlieb tomorrow for her day, and all the sites at the bottom of the post on their days.

First, a little about the Femmethology:
Visible: A Femmethology

Femmethology is essential—a roadmap of Femme Nation, an index, an anthropology, a manifesto, and a googleology. – Dorothy Allison

Visible: a Femmethology is a two-volume anthology of essays revolving around femme identity.

I’ve been discovering and embracing my multigendered identity lately, but in that multigendered identity there is a solidly femme identity as well, which these books helped me remember.

Not that I had forgotten my femme identity, I just had been focusing more consciously on my fagette identity than my femme because it was new and in a way easier to focus on because it’s more visible (though only slightly). The identities in no way are opposites, they are complimentary, but they are also different. Reading through the Femmethology in a way re-connected me with my femme identity.

The biggest benefit of the Femmethology, in my opinion, is that it helps remind us that we are not alone as femmes. While some of us have many femme friends and a wonderful support system the rest of us do not and we have to navigate the world without much reassurance and reminders that there are so many of us out there feeling the same things. This is one of the reasons I started The Femme’s Guide in the first place, to emphasize that there are many of us out there, and while we’re all different we are also all the same.

I was moved many times throughout the two volumes. There were authors I knew well or moderately well, from various avenues such as Sinclair Sexsmith, Sassafras Lowrey, and Tara Hardy. There were many other authors that I didn’t know anything about, but I was able to get to know something about them through their stories.

Many stories touched me to the core, rocked me, and left me dazed and contemplating my own stories and my own identities.

I feel that Visible: A Femmethology is not just a book or anthology meant to be read, though it certainly is that as well, it’s also a look into each of these femme’s lives and voices, an adventure into different types of femme-ininity and different experiences that all somehow are similar because of this identity we all embrace and inhabit. It shows the vastness of femme while also showing what unites us.

It screamed “you are not alone” to me right when I needed it.

From the Introduction to the anthology: “Femme means I won’t compromise on complexity. … Above all, my femme is not your femme, which is the good news. … Femme means my sexuality, my partner choices, my definitions and my gender presentation might not match your labels.”

You can order Volume 1 and Volume 2 through the fabulous Homofactus Press.

You can also hear Sinclair Sexsmith reading his Love Letter to Femmes!

Check out the blogs below on the associated dates to learn more about the Femmethology volumes:
4/1. Sugarbutch Chronicles
4/2. Ellie Lumpesse
4/3. Queer-o-mat
4/4. CyDy Blog
4/6. Catalina Loves
4/7. cross-post: The Femme’s Guide and Femme Fagette
4/8. Daphne Gottlieb
4/9. Bilerico Project
4/10. Screaming Lemur: Femme-inism and Other Things
4/13. The Femme Hinterland
4/14. Bochinche Bilingüe: Borderlands Writing and The Vagina Adventures
4/15. Dorothy Surrenders
4/16. Miss Avarice Speaks Her Mind
4/17. The Femme Show
4/19. Sexuality Happens
4/20. Queer Fat Femme
4/21. Sublimefemme Unbound
4/22. Tina-cious.com and Jess I Am (butch-femme couple day!)
4/23. FemmeIsMyGender
4/24. The Lesbian Lifestyle
4/25. Femme Fluff
4/26. Weldable Cookies
4/27. The Verbosery
4/28. A Consuming Desire and Creative Xicana
4/29. Queercents
4/30. en|Gender

I get sent a lot of sex toys to review. But as much as I love sex toys, I also love reading. I like reading erotica, I like reading sex writing, and I like reading educational books. SexToy.com understands my love and need for words on paper, and was kind enough to send me Two Knotty Boys — Showing You the Ropes, another book for my collection on rope bondage.

I recently review Midori’s book, the Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage, and I was excited to get another book on rope bondage for a different viewpoint, and new ideas.

The intro to this book wasn’t very long, but it has the important bits. A mini-background on rope bondage, a well written list of “Dos and Don’ts” that I found easy to read and comprehend, and a few pages on the types of rope. I liked this section, as I don’t know much about rope, and it gave an easy overview of the different materials (including their uses, pros, cons, etc), the best ways to clean and cut different types of rope, etc.

Next off, we have the rope itself. I really appreciate the step by step pictures. While I’m very good at visualizing things, it was awesome to have a guide to go along with the words, to make sure I was doing the right thing, and was on the right path. I also was excited to learn chain braiding, ideal for rope storage.

The rest of the book was divided into sections; the Knots (decorative and functional), Basic Bondage, Decorative Bondage (my favorite part– there are some really interesting and really pretty ties in this section!), Dominance Bondage, and Sex Bondage. Each section has about seven or eight different ties, and shows you step by step, with both instructions and pictures, exactly how to accomplish that particular tie. Also, each tie tells you a little bit about how it should be used, whether it is ok for newbies or should be saved for seasoned (and/or bratty) rope veterans, what length of rope is needed, and what diameter of rope should be used.

Behind all of the ties is a reference section and a glossary, which really is a must for any type of kink or sexuality book, in my not so humble opinion.

I really like how the ties are laid out. It’s easy to read, and to understand, and if I happened to need to keep a copy of it by my bed to check in as I did the ties, it’s super simple to follow, even with a squirming partner right next to you.

I’m not the biggest fan of rope bondage…at times, it is beautiful, but to me, it is also very time consuming, and I tend to lose circulation very quickly, so for me it seems like not a lot of result for so much time and effort. However, after reading this book, I really want to learn more of these decorative knots and rope wear, as I think they are absolutely beautiful, and completely worth it. I’d give this book 5 stars out of 5.

You can never have too many books! If you want your own copy of this incredibly detailed, amusing, and helpful book, you can get it here.

-Essin’ Em

I was scrolling through the Femme’s Guide Archive, seeing what I’ve missed over the year…trying to get inspired…and I realized there wasn’t a single post tagged to highlight the social network FetLife…and that just seemed…wrong!

So I am here to amend that oversight because I am totally in love with this social networking site. Think Myspace. Think Facebook. Then add into it a space that actually allows you to be yourself. Seriously. Not to take anything away from their tagline, because it actually reads, “”FetLife is a social utility, like Facebook and mySpace, designed specifically for the BDSM & fetish community and run by sexual deviants. We think it is more fun that way. Don’t you?”

I do! I do!

Sign me up, Johnny!

(Actually a lovely Canadian, John Baku, really is the mad genius behind the scenes.)

(Hmmm, I wonder if he would spank me if he knew I was calling him Johnny?)

I know some of my friends who have been saying for months that they will join when they are certain it is going to be around awhile…I wasn’t one of those people. I stumbled across them 320 days ago and joined the same day. They were two months old give or take and I think I visited every single persons individual page in short order…there just weren’t that many people. I didn’t care…there were people there that I could talk kink with…and wouldn’t care that I was a bisexual, femme, switch who mostly topped girls but liked to bottom for boys. BTW they even understood my language! I was in heaven…

Three hundred and twenty days later, there are more people than I can keep up with, coming from the U.S. Canada, Australia, over 50 European countries, Asia, and Africa. Kinky people are flocking to FetLife…and for good reason:

Imagine a place that gives you choices of gender when you sign up: Male, Female, Trans M-F, Trans F-M, Gender Fluid, Gender Queer, Intersex.

Or a place that asks you to define your sexual orientation: Straight, Heteroflexible, Bisexual, Gay, Lesbian, Queer, Pansexual, or Fluctuating/Evolving…(and here, my only complaint is that I’m not given a choice for Femme or Butch, but then there would be a need for Dyke, Boi, Futch…I’m beginning to see why they leave it as lesbian…besides, there is an “About Me” section where I can tell everyone exactly who I am, what I want, need, desire…etc…and trust me, members get fairly explicit. Nice.)

Finally, they ask to define your role: Dominant, Switch, Submissive, Master, Mistress, Slave, Top, Bottom, Fetishist, Kinkster, Sadist, Masochist, Sadomasochist, Vanilla, Not Applicable, or Unsure. (Honestly, I get the “Unsure” but “Not Applicable”? Mind boggling.)

It only takes a few minutes to register…and like any social networking site I think deciding on a login name is the hardest part. I’ve never been very good with cutsie names…I mean can you see me as *”FuzziSmittenKitten” or *”LoveToSuck”…me either. I chose “Roxy_Harte.” Just me. Not that I don’t REALLY get a kick out of reading other people’s names. Because I do. Some members have chosen really kick-ass names. I wish I was that creative…

I love FetLife so much, that a few months ago I became a Greeter…

Oh, I didn’t tell you about that part…

When I joined Fetlife, John Baku personally greeted me…although at the time, I’m not certain that I realized that he was the mad genius behind the scenes…I did realize that he was greeting me in an official capacity though. And that wowed me. Because it didn’t seem like a form letter. But maybe it was, because I admit to being slightly jaded and mostly skeptical…I replied to his greeting…and guess what? He replied back! He really was an honest to goodness person behind the avatar.

That stuck with me…and now, as a Greeter…I try to make every person I greet feel welcome…and let them know that FetLife is about the living, breathing people behind the avatars. And that we are all kinky…

Think you are too kinky? Too weird to be welcomed?

Or maybe not kinky enough?

Toss those worries aside…everyone is respected for their kinks, for their fetishes.

And disrespecting a fetish isn’t tolerated because it takes a lot of bravery to come out of the kink closet…FetLife is a place where you honestly can be yourself…and for some people I’m learning, it is the only place…

Groups? Did you ask about groups? Sure there are groups and lively discussions too…scarily intelligent, insightful conversations too…

I tried to limit myself to five groups…and failed…I think I’ve joined twenty now…It was really just too hard keeping myself limited like that, my interests are too many and too varied. Some of the more active groups I’ve joined are: Androminetophilia Transmen, Butches, Bois (and those who love them); BDSM Poets and Writers From Around The World; BDSM Theory; Bisexual Masters, Mistresses, Subs, or Slaves; Breath Play; Butch/Femme Queers; Edge Play; Kinky and Geeky; and Mental BDSM…

That doesn’t even scratch the surface of interests, so you will have to check it out for yourself to find you niche.

So, if you are in the mood to add some kink to your new year, come out of the kink closet this year, share your kink this year, or just find some old kinky friends (because they’ve probably beat you there)…stop in, say hello…there are a lot of people waiting to meet You!

www.fetlife.com

*As of this posting there was no Fetlife member with the login FuzziSmittenKitten or LoveToSuck…so feel free to use if you so desire…and if anyone chooses either of these names after this posting without previous knowledge of this post…I meant no disrespect.

Find the Pink or Deep Rose Gigi along with other vibrators and sex toys of every flavor on SexToy.Com.

Much thanks to SexToy.Com for letting me review the LELO Gigi!

I have a thing for vampires. Just in general. Even before Twilight was written, I was going gaga over blood suckers. I even did a ridiculous vampire shoot with Chris back in August. I like being bitten. I’m always cold…but yet I don’t wear socks, or really jackets. I rarely sleep, and am up all night. Like till 5 or 6am. Vampires rock my life.

So what, you may be asking, do vampires have to do with sex toys? Well, fetish items are toys too! And I love fetish toys. Floggers, nipple clamps and paddles – all things I enjoy and love.

But vampire gloves? FUCKING BRILLIANT.

What, you may ask, are vampire gloves? They are ordinary leather gloves that aren’t quite so ordinary. Each finger (and thumb) on both gloves are covered with a large mass of metal spikes. The palm is spike free on my pair (although there are in fact vampire gloves available that have spikes on the palms as well).

For the most part, the spikes feel wonderful, but are fairly innocuous. They leave little scratch marks, but don’t really draw blood. However, my left hand glove has some spikes that are a little sharper, or set a little off – something. And daaaaamn. They can HURT. As in draw blood. And leave lots o’ scratch marks/small cuts for a few days.

The first time I played with them, it was last month with F. I was running them up and down her as she shuddered. Later, in the middle of watching Lesbian Life: Real Sex San Francisco, F and I wound up getting into a spanking scene. I was reddening her ass, and then would slooooowly dragged my spiked gloves over her red ass cheeks, feel her body climax into me over and over and over again. I actually like not having spikes on the palms, because then you can spank and smack with the palms, without having to take off the gloves in between.

Next, I brought them to a play party. I didn’t have anything in mind, but then my cute friend who happens to be a Domme wanted to play with me (she has a thing about Hitachi Magic Wands, and I just so happened to have brought one with me). As she rummaged through my bag, she found the vampire gloves, and was completely entranced by them. They felt amazing as she ran them up and down my body. My arms, my back, my breasts, my thighs. I was already flying high, just from feeling the cold spikes against my skin.

However- the left glove scratched up the inside of my leg pretty bad, and I still have some cuts around my nipples from it. So if you’re not into blood play, don’t let a Domme (or Dom or top) grab hold of your gloves without making sure they are not as sharp anymore.

These are probably one of my favorite new toys…and I have a fuck ton of toys, so that’s saying a lot. In fact, I think everyone, even people who are not super into fetishy things, should have their very own set of vampire gloves. Freaking amazing!

-Essin’ Em

If you were to visit me, you would notice a preponderance of candles in my house. On the dining room tables, the kitchen counter, the top of the fridge, in my bedroom, on the bookshelves (ok, not a wise sounding idea, but those are ones that aren’t going to get lit for a while). It’s one of my most stereotypical Femme/feminine traits; I LOVE candles. Especially good smelling ones.

Well, luckily, Babeland was kind enough to give me an Afterglow Candle (by Jimmy Jane) to review.

In the little box that arrived, I got the candle (which is a really good sized candle), a GIANT box of matches (score!) and a little brush. When you light the candle, and it melts, it turns into massage oil, which feels phenomenal when poured warm onto the skin.

Brush wise, I have to say I didn’t get it. I’m not sure why you’re supposed to use a brush to put oil/wax onto the skin. It just didn’t work for me. However, it is my cat’s (Kinsey) absolute new favorite toy – even more loved then his decimated peacock feather. So it certainly has it’s uses.

I got the Figleaf scent…and it was AMAZING. I lit it, and immediately, a soft but delicious smell started to fill the room. It was a little flowery, but not too much so…and it wasn’t super strong, which can ruin a moment. No no – it was ideal. And mmmm.

We let the candle burn as we played, and then she poured some of the wax/oil onto my back. As she rubbed it in, the tension left me completely. It started, after 10-15 minutes to absorb into my skin, leaving my skin soft and smelling delightful. A small amount was dropped on my nightstand, but it later hardened back into wax, and was easy to get off with a finger nail.

I love this candle. So far, it’s my favorite massage oil candle, and it’s also a great into for people who want to try wax play, but don’t want to start with “real” wax. It has a very low burning temp, making it great for anyone! Five stars, out of five!

For your very own warm, loving and caring (hey, I can anthropomorphize a candle, right?) Afterglow Candle, just click here!

-Essin’ Em

As we all know, I have a leopard print fetish. Love sac, photo albums, sheets, negligees, pillows, purse, gloves – you name it, I probably have it in leopard print. Ergo, when a certain sex toy company happened to start carrying the Liberator Ramp in LEOPARD PRINT, you can imagine the cravings I felt. Luckily, they decided to reward me (and wish me a happy birthday), and guess what arrived on my doorstep? Yeah, you got it!

So, I’ve never had a piece of sex toy furniture that was made specifically for sex. I mean, sure, I’ve re-commissioned pillows into wedges, I’ve used counters and couches. I even have an amazing Fascinator Throe that keeps my bed from getting wet/lubey/waxy/etc. But no “real” furniture.

Ergo, I was incredibly excited to give this a try. Even better, it showed up on my doorstep on my actual birthday…

I was demonstrating all the positions you could do with it. You can put it at the end of the bed, be bent over and fucked from behind. You can do doggy style on the bed. You can lean someone up against it, bending your legs until you’re half a pretzel, and get fucked. You can lean down over it it, resting your head on the bed quite comfortable, giving you ideal g-spot or p-spot access. This is bloody brilliant.

However, I have to say that I think the most brilliant use for it is for oral sex on on a woman…I’m not sure how this works for sucking cock (of any variety), but if you’re going down on a woman, and have her lie back, scootching her butt to the edge of the ramp – and BAM! Perfect position to eat some cunt. You don’t have to have the same kind of neck cramps, and you have so much more easy access. Freaking genius. And as the woman on the receiving end, it feels AMAZING.

The soft, microsuede cover feels soft and gentle against your skin – no chance of rug burn here. Better yet, you can unzip it, and it is machine washable, so you can share the ramp with partners, use lubes without fear of it getting gross after time, etc. Moreover, there is an awesome cover to put on it when it’s not in use, so you don’t need to worry about it getting dusty.

Only problem I had with this miraculous ramp was the storage issue – it’s fairly sizeable, and while it kinda sorta fits on the top shelf of my closest, it’s certainly not the best solution. I’ve contemplated leaving it out in my living room with the rest of my leopard print items, but I can’t really find a place for it. If you’re living in a one bedroom apartment like me, I would think about where you might put it before you get it.

Otherwise, this is probably one of my favorite, and most useful sexuality items I’ve had the pleasure of review. Also, you can use it for other things, like stretching, fancy yoga poses, or as a back pillow for reading in bed. Lots of uses, lots of fun, and I bet you now want your very own Liberator Ramp (and don’t worry – it comes in other colors than leopard print.

-Essin’ Em

The Hitachi Magic Wand is the only vibrator you’ll ever need again.

I mean, that’s really the entire review of it. It is one of the top selling items at Babeland, but elsewhere as well. Pretty much every sex toy retailer sells more Hitachis than anything else. Why? Because they are freaking amazing.

Someone once asked me how I’d describe the Hitachi. If a normal orgasm is like a rainstorm, the Hitachi is a like a tsunami. If a normal orgasm is like a Hershey’s kiss, a Hitachi is like Godiva. If a normal orgasm is like a shot of McCormicks, the Hitachi is Grey Goose. Get it yet?

It plugs into the wall. That’s right; no batteries, no waiting for it to recharge. Super green and environmentally friendly. Plus, the Hitachi has been around for decades upon decades. As they say, if it ain’t broke, then don’t fix it. The Hitachi is amazing. It’s wonderful. It’s perfect.

I give them as presents to people. I recommend them to people. I take people to get their first vibrator, and help them get Hitachis. They are the best toys you’ll ever own.

You can also use them as back massagers…I know it sounds kind of odd, but I mean, that IS what they were designed for. I have definitely used them to get the kinks out, and in this case, kink is not a synonym for orgasm.

There are also all kinds of attachments you can use (silicone, of course), for vaginal penetration, for anal penetration, for additional clitoral stimulation.

Basically, this is the most wonderful and amazing sex toy you can and will ever buy. I am not kidding. I am not guilty of hyperbole. You can use it alone, during intercourse, on a partner, with a partner. Use it for sex, use it for back massages.

Get a Hitachi Magic Wand. I cannot recommend it any higher. If I had to get rid of every single sex toy I own (and I own more than 150), and only keep one, I’d keep the Hitachi.

-Essin’ Em