What in God's name is Lisa doing to Bart?!

So far we are only a few days into the XXX Olympics and already a plethora of items have surfaced.  First off, a big #Fail to London’s weather, I mean it’s the XXX Olympics, and your cool nights have forced the woman’s beach volleyball teams to wear long shirts and pants. But hey, at least we have woman’s field hockey, thanks Netherlands! Now, aside from ESPN’s article on the frat party gang bang that apparently goes on within the Olympic Village, 1 item just blew me away and it was from Men’s gymnastics.  I know, but stay with me for a moment.  During the Men’s team event, there was a big controversy over the home Brits getting Silver, and the Japanese 5^th place. The Japanese coach at the scene of the score announcement filed an inquiry, which I guess is a complaint to review what happened in the final event. But the craziest part was he had cash in his hand as he approached the judges.  And apparently, not only is this OK, it is standard procedure!  Per the rules:

After the score has been posted, a coach may inquire about the Difficulty Score, first verbally and then in writing. An inquiry may be resolved by using video review. The initial inquiry must be made prior to the completion of the next gymnast’s routine. The written inquiry must be submitted before the end of the rotation, and the Superior Jury reviews the inquiry. A fee is assessed for filing an inquiry; it is returned if the inquiry is upheld.

Really? You need to pay to have an inquiry performed?  Here is a list of questions that immediately came to mind:

• Do they accept credit cards?
• How about pay pal?
• Is exact change required?
• What currency is valid?
• What’s the exchange rate used?
• If you forgot your wallet, can you bum money off of another country?
• Is the coach reimbursed by his/her country for his payment?

I’m just blown away that a team has to pay AT THE OLYMPICS, with cash in hand to get something reviewed. Then, I started to think how this would apply to other sports.  What about in the NFL, if they instituted anything over 3 replays in a game, you had to pay in cash, $175 for each additional review.  Wouldn’t it be great to watch Andy Reid on his 5^th replay of the game, running around trying to find someone who can break 2 c notes? Guarantee he buys a hotdog from a vendor to get change.  Or what about Bill Belichick, he’d totally pay in pennies, just to be a dick.

Oh yeah, so the inquiry was upheld, the Japanese coach got his cash money back, and Japan ended up getting the silver medal, and Britain got the bronze.  Good times!

After the Lakers got bounced from the playoffs by the Oklahoma City Thunder, some fans are left wondering what has happened to their team. One musically-inclined fan seems to lay the blame at the feet of none other than Kobe Bean Bryant.

[via Complex]

That player said that he would fly to New York for future negotiations if the negotiations were at a point that warranted his attendance.  That player could save the NBA.  That player’s name is Kobe Bryant.  This is the story of how Kobe Bryant taking over the role of lead negotiator on behalf of the Union will save the NBA season.

NBA’s new collective bargaining agreement meetings will continue.  Billy Hunter will remain at the head of the table with his right-hand D-Fish by his side.  Both Fisher and Hunter will vow that the players continue to “stand” united.  For hoops-heads everywhere, intervention is required.  Kobe cannot wait for Billy and D-Fish to call his iPhone.  Kobe must take over the role of lead negotiator.

As Billy Hunter, D-Fish, and Commissioner Stern sip their morning coffee and being the civil discourse that reportedly has characterized negotiations, loud music all of a sudden starts playing.

Kobe enters the bargaining room flanked by Gilbert Arenas and Caron “Tough Juice” Butler.  While Commissioner Stern, Billy Hunter, and D-Fish believe that Kobe, Kaman, and Caron are coming to join in negotiations, they had no idea what was really in store for the meeting.

After greeting the parties to the bargaining session and a bit of friendly discourse, Kobe proceeds to his chair.  Rather than taking a seat at the table, Kobe takes his chair and knocks Hunter over the head, then points at Fish and then slowly at the door.  Knowing his role, D-Fish, head down, slowly walks out of the negotiation room.  Gilbert and Butler then start kicking Hunter while he is on the ground stunned at the turn of events.

Kobe in the role of Hollywood Hulk Hogan, Gilbert as Kevin Nash and Butler in the role of Scott Hall all take their seats at the table, which were previously occupied by Billy Hunter and Derek Fisher.  All three are silent as Kobe just stares, deadpan at Commissioner Stern.  The ensuing conversation takes place:

Stern: Kobe, please let the professionals handle this.
Kobe: I’m going to make that incident in Colorado seem like child’s play when I am done with you, Dave.
Stern: Ha (nervously), good one.
Kobe: I’m f**king serious, here are our demands.  I’ll give you 20minutes to accept or you’ll find out why I’m called the ‘Black Mamba’.
Prokhorov: (in the middle of offering one of the catering girls money for a lap dance) I enjoy Lou Bega.

Meanwhile, in the back of the room, Chris Bosh feels a vibration on his hip.  He receives a text from the Atlanta Dream, it says “need $$? B our #1 option.”

Stern: Kobe, listen most of our teams are losing money.

Kobe: don’t feed be that bullshit.  I’m done with this, Gilbert show him how you handle disputes.
Gilbert arenas then places three hand guns on the table and tells Dave to draw one.

As George Vecsey of the NY Times points out, it’s about more than just skirting academic eligibility requirements. We have a full-blown epidemic on our hands.

King Football is not about just academic scandals and recruiting scandals and now the growing shadow of concussion scandals. (What, you thought aging players now coming down with dementia arrived in the N.F.L. with their brain pans totally intact?)

Just the other day, Jeré Longman wrote in The New York Times about his beloved home state, where L.S.U. has downsized its foreign language program with minimal public reaction, but managed to maintain an undefeated football program.

Lots of Happy Valleys out there. Occasionally a critic like Taylor Branch or a panel calls for reform. At Penn State, it was even worse than prostituting education for the sake of a football powerhouse. The entire old-boy system in that university managed to overlook the possibility that children’s lives were being ruined, within the dangerous cocoon of King Football. We need to look beyond the alleged abuses. We need to look at the system that encouraged people to look the other way.

Really, we need to do something about big-time college sports.

We really do.

I find solace in sports.  All sports.  It could be my favorites or my least favorites.  I can actually sit down and watch anything, in both live form or on tv, if it’s an athletic event.  Soccer, hockey, football, baseball, basketball, tennis, golf, bowling, volleyball, cricket, judo, swimming, horseshoes, lawn darts…you get the point.  Ask my wife, she’ll tell you this since it drives her crazy.  ”How can you watch this?”.  She doesn’t want my sarcastic answer so I do what every great husband does,  I turn on Lifetime or anything with Lori Laughlin or Meredith Baxter Birney.

Sports gives me comfort.  Sports help me relieve stress and feel soothed.  There is some type of feeling when following something that’s out of your control but you still feel a part of the experience.  I’ve played sports my whole life but even then you not always in “complete” control.  It all changed 10 years ago and I think many other people were changed during that time as well.

It started when William Howard Taft, our 27th President, threw out the first Presidential ceremonial pitch in American baseball history on opening day 1910. It’s actually the longest standing ritual in professional baseball.  Even Cal Ripkin, Jr. and Brett Farve can’t touch this tradition.  Every President since then has thrown out at least one pitch.  But not one pitch meant more to us as Americans.  Actually, nothing, not one thing, in professional sports meant more to us than this pitch.  This one pitch would symbolize everything to Americans.

So on a brisk October evening in 2001, then President George W. Bush stepped up to the pitching rubber at Yankee Stadium.  Donned with a NYFD jacket and the ball.  Over 57,000 people were cheering and chanting, “USA, USA”.  Millions of Americans were watching intently on tv or listening via radio not knowing they were witnessing a change in America.  Even if you weren’t a sports fan, you were watching.  Now I don’t want to be melodramatic and this isn’t a political stunt so don’t take it that way.  This is after all a sports article and I base a lot of my work on historical facts and a little observation…well more than a little.  All eyes, not on the man throwing the ball, though important, but on the pitch itself.  With this pitch it would symbolize our rebuilding phase in America.  Our strength.  Our sound.  Americans.  All on this one pitch.

For me, looking back, I had this strange feeling come over me while writing this piece.

What if he bounced it?  What if he hit the backstop?  What if he pulled a Randy Johnson vs. John Kruk?

We’ve seen President’s throw horrible pitches in the past.  First pitch guru Taft was saved by Walter Johnson from bouncing it.  Nixon stunk.  Reagan rolled it.  Carter hated it.  Now President Obama threw one of the worst pitches in the history of pitches.  Maybe he should have rolled a hoop out there and sank a three.  Imagine if Bush bounced it.  Would we have felt the same way about our spirits being lifted since that dark September morning?  Though not a policital piece, this is afterall our President.  Our commander-in-chief.  We look to him for guidance and power. Though just a man, he symbolizes the strength of the United States.  The rock. He guides us in all things that he says and does, regardless of agreement or disagreement.

With all this in hand Bush began his walk to the mound in a  stern and authoritative way.  A few waves and a thumbs up.  The President walked right past the ceremonial mound to the official pitching mound not thinking twice about doing so.  He gave a long thumbs up to those in those in the stands and then set his feet.  Will he bounce it?  Will he miss?  He knew he wouldn’t and some where deep down 400 million Americans knew he wouldn’t either.

He didn’t and we all remember. Right down the middle with authority. A perfect pitch.

Professional sports in America are tied to our livelihood.  We look up to our athletes in America probably more than anyone else and you can’t go a day without an event being on TV.  We follow their every move, wear their jerseys or cheer and cry depending upon our teams outcome. That day we didn’t do that for our athletes.  We weren’t thinking about that. Our strength as a nation relied on that pitch. Our power as a nation relied on that pitch.  Our nation was in that pitch.

Most of all, 2,977 people were remembered in that pitch.

And never forget, it was a perfect pitch.

21. Portland Trail Blazers

Jeremy Tyler (PF) – Tokyo Apache (Japan)

If Portland could trade the 21st pick in the draft for new knees for Brandon Roy they would, but they can’t.  Given that Andre Miller is the starting point guard and that his back-up is Patty Mills (really?), Portland decides that it needs to select size and goes with Jeremy Tyler who averaged 9.9 points per game and 6.4 rebounds per game while playing for Tokyo Apache in Japan.  This pick should work out for Portland about as well as Greg Oden, but at least they didn’t pass on Durant to draft Tyler.  This seems to bring us back to the Jailblazers days as write-ups on Tyler say that he needs to work on “maturity.”  I’d also guess that he needs to work on rebounding since he couldn’t average six and a half in the Japanese league.

22. Denver Nuggets

Tobias Harris (PF) – Tennessee

The Denver Nuggets have had two decent first round draft picks in the past 20 years. Carmelo Anthony in 2003 and Dikembe Mutombo in 1991. Aside from that there isn’t a career starter out of the entire lot. And that probably won’t change here. But with the aging Kenyon Martin (how much longer can those knees really last?) playing a smaller role with every passing year, there will be minutes to be had at the 3 and 4 spot behind Al Harrington and Danilo Gallinari. If Harris can build some strength and add some post moves to his offensive game then he could easily break into the rotation. If not, the Nuggets will have some cap room to find someone who can.

23. Houston Rockets (from Magic/Suns)

Donatas Motiejunas (PF) – Lithuania

Two picks in the 1st round of a bad draft . . . not good planning by Houston.  This is Kevin McHale’s 1st draft with the Rockets.  After addressing their growing issues at center, the Rockets take some big white guy, who am I kidding I have no idea, Fran take it away, “In addition, while Motiejunas is not Larry Bird when it comes to his passing skills, he plays with good basketball intelligence. “ Wow, being named in the same conversation as Kevin’s former teammate makes this pick a lock.  A poor man’s Andrea Bargnani here we come!

24. Oklahoma City Thunder

Justin Harper (PF) – University of Richmond

Harper is long and a solid shooter.  The one need that I see for the Thunder is players that can shoot.  Harper could be one of those players.  Harper could also be in the D-League in a year given that he looks and plays a lot like Brian Cook.  At least the Thunder didn’t select Kyle Singler and push Kevin Durant to a different team.  As I hope Sam Presti is aware, Duke players don’t win championships (only 1 NBA Champion in history played at Duke).  I also hope that Sam Presti is aware that Justin Harper is better than Kyle Singler (though that isn’t saying much).

25. Boston Celtics

JaJuan Johnson (PF) – Purdue

The Celtics have two primary needs this off-season, center and every position on their bench. Johnson could greatly improve the bench that let them down big-time in the playoffs by giving them some length at the power forward position that is strongly lacking when Kevin Garnett goes to the bench, or when they go small. Johnson will naturally draw comparisons to Garnett because of their build. Whether Johnson is worthy of them or not will depend on his work ethic and his ability to put on some pounds. Until them will call him Kevin Durant minus the handle and jumpshot.

26. Dallas Mavericks

Nikola Mirotic (SF) – Serbia

Once again, Fran take it away “On talent, Mirotic is a likely late lottery to mid-first round pick. But concerns about his contract abound. NBA scouts I spoke with believe it may be years before he can come to the NBA after he agreed to a long extension with Real Madrid that runs through 2016.”  Well then, let’s take a good talent and wait 5 years to see how this one plays out.  Personally, I am at the edge of my seat, biting my nails in anticipation of Nikola’s arrival to the States.

27. New Jersey Nets (from Lakers)

Josh Selby (PG) – Kansas

The New Jersey Nets, looking for star power prior to their move to Brooklyn select Josh Selby.  Selby is an enigma, he could have gone in the top 10 picks in the draft if he had produced for Kansas.  Injuries and eligibility issues derailed what could have been a clear upgrade for Kansas based upon what Selby brings to the court.  Selby is a natural scorer with athletic gifts.  In a weak draft, Selby is the type of gamble that probably should have been taken 15 picks ago.  When we look back on this draft in 5 years, a lot of teams will be wondering why they missed on Selby, then they will remember that he has “maturity” issues.  The Russian should be able to alleviate some concerns as to Selby’s character by wielding his Russian muscle.  If it works, the Nets got a steal and potentially a bonafide star when they move into their new arena.

28. Chicago Bulls (from Heat/Raptors)

Tyler Honeycutt (SF) – UCLA

The Chicago Bulls need another scoring option to help Derrick Rose.  They also need a backup PG, as he cannot be expected to play 45minutes a night.  In comes Tyler Honeycutt, who solves neither of these issues.  But, he is an athletic big man who can block shots and run the floor.  Think Tyrus Thomas without the large contract.  Look for the Bulls to address the backup PG issue with their next pick.

29. San Antonio Spurs

Iman Shumpert (PG) – Georgia Tech

Rumor has it the Spurs are shopping the ex Mr. Longoria-Parker.  If that is the case, they will likely move up and snag a PG high in the draft.  If they stay put, I expect them to snag another PG here and dangle Tony during the year.  This team is getting old and they will start to revamp their roster in the coming years.

30. Chicago Bulls

Markieff Morris (PF) – Kansas

Why did Markieff get selected 21 picks after Marcus?  Probably because the people conducting this mock draft forgot about him.  Markieff knows his roll.  Markieff hits the boards, plays tough interior defense, and has a jumper.  Somehow Kenneth Faried who lacks a jump shot went 9 picks before Markieff.  This pick is a classic case of the rich getting richer.  Thibs will have another defender that he can use to replace Carlos Boozer at the end of games.  Chicago is making a habit of late round gems (e.g. Taj Gibson).  Markieff may be the more talented Morris twin and could have a solid, productive career like Otis Thorpe.

2011 NBA Mock Draft

Read Part 1
Read Part 2

11. Golden State Warriors

Tristan Thompson (PF) – Texas

Mark Jackson’s first draft should be interesting. He brings a lot to the table. Jackson has zero years of experience as a coach, but he is a grown man. With that said, mama there goes that man, Tristan Thompson. Think of Thompson as a Taj Gibson like player, adding depth and rebounding to the Warriors’ front court. The Warriors need help with their depth everywhere and Thompson is the best player left on the board of a woefully weak draft. Jackson himself could re-enter his name in this draft and get picked in the 1st round.

12. Utah Jazz

Chris Singleton (SF) – Florida State University

Utah would have loved a point guard here, however, Marshon Brooks is a reach and he’s not a point guard.  Utah also considered Klay Thompson, but needs help defensively.  Enter Chris Singleton, Small Forward, Florida State.  Thompson would have given Utah outside shooting, but at this point, defense is a bigger need.  Trotting out Gordon Hayward, Devin Harris, Al Jefferson, and Enes Kanter would give teams a license to drop 120 per game on Utah.  Singleton hides some of Utah’s defensive deficiencies.  Singleton’s ceiling is slightly higher than ESPN Commentator Bruce Bowen’s ceiling was when he left Cal State Fullerton  Of course, Bowen was undrafted.  In this pathetic draft, the ability to guard 2-3 positions places you squarely in the lottery.

13. Phoenix Suns

Klay Thompson (SG)  - Washington State

Phoenix continues their rebuilding process in the weirdest way possible here by adding some depth in what is likely their shallowest position. Since the beloved Suns nucleus began being dismantled years ago they’ve been a revolving door with the only constant being Steve Nash and later Grant Hill. They look to return to their successful draft selection history by picking up a lengthy shooting guard that can light it up from outside and should be able to contribute early in the season with his only competition being Josh Childress after Half-Man No-Longer-Amazing departs from the desert any day now.

14. Houston Rockets

Nikola Vucevic (C) – USC

The Rockets roll the dice on the Euro card yet again, this time getting Nikola.  With Yao Ming’s feet leaving his ability to ever play again in question, Houston goes with the biggest player in the draft.  He is not very athletic, but he is tall and white, so he has that going for him.  Think of Nikola as a poor man’s Marc Gasol, and jump for joy if you are in the Houston area, as you just landed yourself a nice backup Center!

15. Indiana Pacers

Alec Burks (SG) – Colorado

The Basketball Jesus is upset for a number of reasons right now, but none of them include the name Jimmer Fredette.  He is upset that he has to select a shooting guard that can’t shoot to join a backcourt that includes Dahntay Jones (can’t shoot), Brandon Rush (mediocre shooter at best), Darren Collison (can’t shoot), and Born Ready (can’t shoot).  The Basketball Jesus is also upset because he knows that it is highly doubtful that Burks will ever be able to penetrate a defense at the NBA level like he could when playing against Nebraska.  Alec Burks looks like the second coming of Dahntay Jones… too bad the original Dahntay Jones is already on the Pacers roster.

16. Philadelphia 76ers

Jordan Hamilton (SF) – Texas

With the inevitable trade of Andre Iguodala, Philly moves to bolster their front-court scoring with the versatile and offensive-minded Hamilton. Production out of their front line has been a consistent issue in Philly for a while now. But if they can swing an Iguodala trade that brings them a big man that can contribute consistently then Hamilton will be in a position to be a part of a high-octane lineup with Thad Young, Jodie Meeks and Jrue Holiday that can race teams out of the gym and put points on their face.

17. New York Knicks

Marshon Brooks (SG) – Providence

At the end of the year when the Knicks were starting to pull it together their one glaring weekness that ultimately lead to their demise was their lack of depth at the point guard position. Brooks doesn’t help them there, but he does fill in the gaps at their second-thinnest position, shooting guard. And give them the flexibility to make a trade for a point guard (Steve Nash anyone?) that includes Landry Fields. Brooks is a knock-down shooter and far superior scorer to Fields, who frequently found himself on the bench at the end of playoff games, which will make the job of the teams point guards even easier. And will make teams think twice before doubling Melo or Amare with Brooks’ defender.

18. Washington Wizards (from Hawks)

Bismack Biyombo (PF) – Congo

Chocolate City, the home of Marion Berry, Wale, Donnie Simpson, Big Tig, Alexander Ovechkin, John Wall, and now Bismack Biyombo.  Ted Leonsis thinks that he can recreate the Washington Capitals success with the Bullets by stockpiling talented young players.  We’re not sure the Washington Capitals are worth recreating given that they can’t advance past the Second Round of the NHL Playoffs, but that is a different article.  Regardless, we have some news for Teddy and his vision: John Wall is not Alexander Ovechkin, and Bismack Biyombo is not a late first round gift like Mike Green or John Carlson.  According to Chad Ford, an anonymous general manager described Biyombo’s most recent workout by stating “Bismack Biyombo played one-against-none today . . . and he lost.”  D-League fans get ready because Biyombo sounds a lot like an even less talented version of Hasheem Thabeet.

19. Charlotte Bobcats (from Hornets/Blazers)

Darius Morris (PG) – Michigan

You’ve gotta feel for MJ here. The current Bobcats roster is without a doubt one of the most pathetic rosters I’ve ever seen. They’re one Stephen Jackson away from a D-League team. It’s that bad. So the obvious question is, where do you start? The answer, anywhere. You take the best available player. And at this point, that’s Darius Morris. Since 2005 the Bobcats first round picks have included three UNC players, and a Dukie. It’s time to step outside of MJ’s back yard and pick up Morris from Michigan who will immediately be competing for minutes with D.J. Augustin and Shaun Livingston. MJ has nothing to lose. Out of all of the Bobcats 14 draft picks, only two are still with the team. Augustin and Gerald Henderson. Ouch.

20. Minnesota Timberwolves (from Grizzlies/Jazz)

Kenneth Faried (PF) – Pitino U errr… Moorehead State

KAHN! contemplated Norris Cole & Iman Shumpert, before Ricky Rubio’s agent put out a hit on David’s life.  With that said, Kahn is somehow doing the reasonable thing and helping the T-wolves out with some defense.  Faried is not a flashy guy, but will do the dirty work that Beasley, Wes Johnson & Darko refuse to do.  It’s funny that this is the pick the T-wolves got in the Al Jefferson trade because they have essentially swapped a guy that is all offense and no defense for someone that is all defense and no offense.  There aren’t that many play-makers in the draft, so to come away with a role player is better than… oh I don’t know… Jonas Valanciunas (go ahead Fran, fire away!).

2011 NBA Mock Draft

Read Part 1
Read Part 3

1. Cleveland Cavaliers

With the first pick in the 2011 NBA Draft, Dan Gilbert, Nick Gilbert, the Cleveland Cavaliers, John Kasich, the State of Ohio, Joshua Cribbs, Joe Haden, Bernie Kosar  and Vincent Connare select… Derrick Williams (PF) – Arizona.

While this pick does nothing to settle Cleveland’s point guard battle between the ghost of Baron Davis and Under-Performing 1st Team selection Ramon Sessions, Williams is the safest pick in this weak and PG heavy draft. He’ll immediately compete with the aging Antawn Jamison for minutes and will surely shoot a higher field goal percentage. Williams’ biggest plus will be providing the easy buckets that the Cavs have so dearly missed since a certain someone took his “talents” to South Beach.

Added bonus, everyone knows Khan can’t resist drafting point guards so he’ll have no choice but to field a roster with Johny Flynn, Luke Ridnour, Ricky Rubio and Kyrie Irving.

2. Minnesota Timberwolves

With the 2nd pick in the 2011 NBA draft, David Kahn selects, Rick Jackson, Forward from Syracuse. Oh wait, hold on David Stern.  Kahn was just informed he does not have to take players from Syracuse every year.  It is true that he had knowledge from a good source, a B. Simmons, that this was a indeed a rule.  With this new understanding, the Timberwolves will now select Kyrie Irving (PG) – Duke.

This pick allows Minnie to put Ridnour and Flynn back on the bench where they belong (if not in the D league), and gives Kevin Love a reason not to take a walk in cement shoes by the shores of one of the nearby 10,000 lakes.  Ricky Rubio may be in Europe, but only God knows when he will be making the trip across the pond. (Editors note, Rubio just joined the Timberwolves, but Kahn can’t help but make him feel right at home by selecting another PG.)

3. Utah Jazz

Jimmer Fredette, PG out of… Wait, even without Sloan the Jazz aren’t that stupid. The Utah Jazz select Enes Kanter (C) – Turkey.

Utah is the perfect situation for Kanter.  He and Okur can talk about kebabs and Allen Iverson’s street cred in Istanbul. Although he hasn’t played organized basketball for a year, Kanter is 6’11″ and apparently likes to play in the post. NBA teams seem to believe that if a player is 6’11″, it doesn’t really matter whether that player has talent.  History tells us that some team will draft a 6’11” stiff higher than it should because the stiff is 6’11” (right, Portland?).  After missing out on playing with John Wall in college because his name was not Cameron Newton, leading the NCAA to enforce a rule regarding eligibility, Kanter misses out on playing with John Wall in DC thanks to Utah’s early selection. Kanter is a decent pick, it would have been better if Jerry Sloan were still the Coach.

4. Cleveland Cavaliers

Brandon Knight (PG) – Kentucky

At #4 the Cavs still get to pick up the best point guard in the entire draft. Knight will run circles around Beard Man, and lock down Ramon Sessions faster than he can request a trade. His SAT scores and classroom attendance are irrelevant now. All that matters is that Knight has been under the tutelage of a coach that has produced Derrick Rose, Tyreke Evans and John Wall in recent years. Knight will be the next in Coach Cal’s string of academically underachieving and athletically overachieving guards. He’s a rough, raw talent that will mature into a Russell Westbrook-like speedy, menacing defender that opponents must account for.

5. Toronto Raptors

Jonas Valanciunas (C) – Lithuania

The Raptors need a lot of help scoring and rebounding. I can see them contemplating Kemba Walker at this pick, but they already have $20M invested in Calderon and they have Jarred Bayless.  I have no idea who Jonas is, what he does or if he is good, so let’s hear from Fran Fraschilla.  Fran says: “While Valanciunas has tremendous offensive potential, it is based more on his athleticism than his skill level. Right now, he scores most of his points off energy plays like offensive rebounds, fast breaks and in the screen-and-roll game, where he gets a running start to the rim.” Fran’s best case scenario is Pau Gasol, this sounds more like Anderson Varejao to me, good times at #5!

6. Washington Wizards

Kawhi Leonard (SF) – San Diego State

The new-look Bullets have needs at a lot of positions, and by that I mean . . . they need help everywhere. But they seem to be content trying to grow around the Wall, Blatche, and McGee contingent. Since the Bullets can’t draft “Rashard Lewis showing up on game day,” they go with the greatest talent and player with the most potential left on the board. His speed, high motor, and tough-minded attitude will give the Bullets some much-needed help on the defensive end. The Bullets really need a rangy guy, who can push the ball, lock down the other team’s best wing player, and hit the boards. A Tony Allen-type player. Put another way, Josh Howard without the pot problem. And that’s what they’ve got with Leonard.

7. Sacramento Kings

Jimmer Fredette (PG) – Bringham Young University

The cash strapped Maloofs veto Petrie’s proposed pick of Kemba Walker at the last minute and force him to select Jimmer.  Unaware of the rules, they believe that Jimmer will be an easier sign as a college senior, making him an easier sign.  At this point, the Maloofs are willing to do anything to save a buck and the Palms from a Chapter 11 filing.  This author and Mike D’Antoni are both upset because Jimmer was drafted too early and won’t be playing in the Garden where his one truly plus skill – shooting – would have helped Amar’e and Melo.  Instead, Jimmer is banished to Sac-Town where he will get to compete with other non-point guards Marcus Thornton and Tyreke Evans.  The Kings should improve a lot with 3 primary ball-handlers that don’t pass.  The over-under on games before Demarcus Cousins clocks one of Jimmer, Marcus, or Tyreke for failing to get him the ball is now set at 15.  As Chuck would say, Chris Webber is rolling over in his grave right now.

8. Detroit Pistons

Kemba Walker (PG) – UConn

Detroit is in a world of trouble, and their basketball team is a mess as well.  With Rodney Stuckey being an unrestricted free agent and not showing the promise that the Pistons had hoped that he would, I can see a situation where they let him walk and draft Kemba.  Walker is a tough, proven scorer and should help to rebuild this franchise that is crumbling as fast as the American auto industry.  Tristan Thompson and Chris Singleton are both decent options here, but I see Detroit rolling the dice with another UConn Husky.

9. Charlotte Bobcats

Marcus Morris (F) – Kansas

Charlotte Bobcats owner Michael Jordan has almost as many wasted first round picks as championship rings.  Marcus Morris does nothing to change 45’s reputation for blowing draft picks.  This author wonders whether 45 got confused and meant to pick Markieff, the Morris twin that realizes that his spot in the league requires him to play as a face up 4 rather than the Morris twin that is trying to convince general managers that he is a good enough ball handler to play the 3.  This author also wonders whether 45 realizes that this is the same Marcus Morris that got dominated by Jamie Skeen, who the “experts” project to be drafted in the second round at best.  This pick ranks consistent with 45’s selections of Adam Morrison, Kwame Brown, and DJ Augustin, and will help cement 45’s drafting legacy.

10. Milwaukee Bucks

Jan Vesely (SF) – Czech Republic

Scott Skiles and his Bucks had been growing together as a team and improving every year, but have been set back by the injury bug with alarming consistency.  Ownership seems confident in Skiles and their young talented roster. So the Bucks look to shore up their bench with a young, 6’11” Czech with a lot of versatility who they can afford to be patient with.  When Vesely decides to join the Bucks he will be able to work himself into the rotation behind Carlos Delfino and Corey Maggette, and even pick up some minutes at the Bucks’ crowded power forward position.

2011 NBA Mock Draft

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There once was a time, my father often tells me about, that players were respected and respectable.  You could fall in love with a player and watch him for his whole career, more times than none, play with the same team.   They had integrity.  They played hard.  They didn’t complain about contracts or piles of cash.  You could call this integrity.  I said it twice because I know your astonished when I mention the words athletes and integrity together in today’s world.  You could call it sporting.  I call my fathers memories fascinating, like a bed time story of a far away land that players played for the love of the game, their team, and their fans, not “I gotsta get mine.”  Is this place actually true?

“Where can I find them now Daddy?  Where?” I asked him as any 32 year-old man would ask when he sits on his father’s knee.
My father wrote down, “You have to look hard son.  They’re almost extinct.  They’re chameleons, but keep looking, you’ll find one eventually”, he replied.

My father mentions names like Whitey Ford and Meadowlark Lemon.  Bob Cousy and Bob Feller.  They sounded like mythological names alongside Sasquatch and Lochness, but were actually real men.  Men like Bill Russell did have some likeness to Sasquatch, with size and hair, but my father assured me he wasn’t Big Foot.  I marveled at Whitey Ford who played his entire 18 year career with the same team.  This can’t be possible?  You mean I don’t have to buy FOUR Whitey Ford jerseys?

My father also never mentioned drugs in his sport memories either unless he was talking about beer and cigarettes.  Those were the drugs of choice in locker rooms and for ball players of that day.  Heck, doctors said smoking was good for you so of course you smoked.  You never heard of roids or androstene.   These drugs replaced the words “heart” and “will” through most recent years.  The players my father mention played with this heart, as well as broken bones and torn muscles.  They didn’t sit out for turf toe and blisters.  Bobby “Boomer” Baun played with a broken leg in the 1964 Stanley Cup Finals.  A broken leg.  And scored the flippin’ game winning OT goal! ON SKATES?!  I said a BROKEN LEG!  These guys could play and play they did.

Now my father turned to me, with the pain in his face due to what my 180lb frame was doing to his leg, and wrote to me, “Now find a player son”.

Wow.  Really?  I need to find a player?  There are so many, who do I pick?  It’s like American Idol and I’m widdling down the contestants.  Magic? Roy? Farve? Bonds?  As I cycle through the players and write them down, let me tell you about my father in the mean time.

My father is a hard worker.  Always has been.  He gets up every morning at 6am and reads his devotional.  He makes breakfast and kisses my mother goodbye as she walks out the door to her job as a teacher’s aide.  Then he starts to work.  Not the work he’s always done.  He was once Chief Engineer of the Water and Gas Department for the city he’s lived in for the last 28 years.  He holds a Bachelors in Aeronautical Engineering and a Master’s in Mathematics.  Pretty much the smartest person I’ve ever known.  He’s spoke in front of dignitaries and and taught aviation classes.  Now he folds laundry or works on the yard.  He cleans the house and other less résumé building activities.  He does love his birds. They come right up to him everyday like Ace Ventura, just minus the hair.

I wander back to my list and see the name Alex Rodriguez.  Wow, what a hitter!  3x AL MVP!  Over 600 Home-runs! How about him? But like a bad smell that lingers around and you have no clue where its coming from, the word steroids finds its way to my nose.  He admitted to using them and a large question mark flies over my head.  I scratch him off the list and continue pondering my contestants.

Now I learned everything I know about sports from my father.  He taught me how to defend, pass, dribble, shoot and score.  Of course my dad is old school, so in that order.  My father swam in college and can play some mad bball and baseball.  He was also known for hustling people at billiards and bowling growing up in New York and played stick ball with future New York Yankees in the early 50’s.  Not many can beat him with his 6 degrees of separation to Mantle, Maris, Yogi and even the aforementioned Whitey Ford.

It’s about 4pm and he takes a nap on the floor, since the day has just began for his 68 year-old body.  He heads off to work at 5pm, everyday, to work as custodian at his local church.  He cleans floors, fixes doors and make sure everything is in working order.  He does all of this with a smile on his face and not one complaint.  He locks up, takes out the trash and leaves at well after 9 most nights.

Hold on.  Another name on my list.  Kobe Bryant!  Now that’s my player!  5 time NBA Champion!  MVP of the league! Scoring champ! One of the greatest ever.  You can’t get much better than that right?  Then again a few more words come up in his biography.  Rape.  Adultery.  But he’s a sure fire Hall of Famer?  What went wrong?  Another contestant booted off.

My father comes home after a long day to my mother as he’s done so for the last 38 years.  Three kids, two cars, one marriage, 38 years.  She’s sometimes already in bed as he opens up a beer, which he never drinks.  I think he just likes the thought of having one close by just in case of a nuclear war, he’ll have his beer.  He crashes on the floor in his favorite position watching whatever is on his 25″ TV since he’s unable to find the remote nor use it, but he doesn’t care.

That’s my father.  After 68 years he does all that with integrity and happiness even though he had a stroke 16 years ago that left him disabled, out of a job and unable to speak, probably for the rest of his life.  He continues to do it and WILL ALWAYS do it with respect.  He taught my brothers and I to play sports and play life, yes play life, with respect.  You give respect, you get respect.  “Yes, sir” and “No, sir”.  You work hard regardless of pay and go above and beyond without being told.

So again I look down at my list:

Patrick Roy? domestic abuse.
Barry Bonds?  steroids.
Michael Jordan?  infidelity.
Pete Rose?  cheating.
O.J Simpson?  murder.
Even Bill Russell divorced twice.

Is there anyone I can pick?

I’m at my whits end with this cruel and twisted version of “America’s Idle” and I try to think back on my own good memories in sports and the name Meadowlark Lemon comes back to me as earlier mentioned.  You know, I met Meadowlark once with my father, mother and my two brothers in Charlotte, North Carolina.  At the time I had vague clue of who he actually was.  I was 11 at the time and he was tall, so I figured he was a basketball player.  Anyone that tall was always a basketball player when you’re 11.  I don’t remember much of that exchange with Mr. Lemon.  A picture.  A signature on a napkin from inside the Cracker Barrel.  A smile and a few kind words.  But I do remember him saying to us, which I found out was one of his favorite phrases years later, “You can be anything that you can imagine.”  What advice from a Hall of Famer who played ball with Presidents, dazzled millions and is now an ordained minister.  I found the answer to my father’s question, “Pick one.” in Meadowlark’s quote.

I pick my father.

via BI