Looking back, moving forward?

Edited by: Florrie Clarke of Intrinsically Florrie.

Links à la Mode: July 29th

This is a collection of brilliant posts collected by The Demoiselles over the week. Some may have been featured on our Twitter, some may have been sent to use through email, or by our friends on Facebook. Please check out, and send love to the blogs featured here – they’re all worth a look!

Jezebel has been covering Crystal Renn’s alleged weight loss… Which would sound pretty superficial and counterproductive, if she’d actually lost any weight, which she didn’t. The photographer just “shaped her”, because it’s “his job to make women look beautiful.” Nice.

This is a really interesting chart that shows various people at their heights and weights. And by all, we mean all – nearly every height/weight combination is represented with a photo! A great reminder that everyone holds their weight in different ways. (Shown to us on Facebook by Antishay.)

“As long as society resists female power, fashion will call healthy women physically flawed. As long as society accepts the physical, sexual and economic abuse of women, popular culture will prefer women who resemble little girls. Sitting in the hospital the summer after my college graduation, I grasped the absurdity of a nation of adult women dying to grow small.”

- Abra Fortune-Chernik, “The Body Politic”

New tech girl-crush, Jolie O’Dell, talks about her own weight loss journey, and how the blogging lifestyle and all its sedentary goodness can be really detrimental.

One of our favorite blogs, Eat The Damn Cake, wrote a great piece titled “I Used To Be A Skinny Person.” Definitely worth a read.

Boston.com published an article for Moms with tips on how to approach young girls and daughters about the idea of body image and “role models.”

The Wholestyle Network linked to an interesting article about exercising while recovering from an eating disorder.

This is definitely one of my favorite reads: Shelby Knox wrote about her experience participating in a photoshoot… The title should be enough to rouse your interest. Take a look at My Day as an Anti-Feminist (Role) Model.

Lilian Behrendt talks about how we’ve (d)evolved into a culture of bullying.

More Eat The Damn Cake for your enjoyment: All Men Are Pigs, And Other Popular Misconceptions.

We’ve decided that when Lindsay moves to Seattle, we’re going to start a gigantic library full of books on body image and media theory… Luckily, Cynosure has provided us with a list of 8 books (“that will transform your eating & body image”) that we’ll definitely be picking up!

Don’t forget to send us anything you find relating to health, body image, or media standards! We love mail!

Images from The Natural Female Form

If I was getting married, I’d want her songs playing at my wedding.  If I was involved in a breakup, I’d use her music for solace.  If I had just returned to my suburban hometown after years out of the country, I’d want “Hometown Glory” on my MP3 player, on repeat.

Her name is Adele.

Adele, a London native who comes from a “resolutely un-musical family,”  was signed by XL Recordings (think The White Stripes, Radiohead, Karen Elson, and Sigur Rós) in 2006, and released her first full-length album, 19, in February 2008.  By 2009 she’d scored two Grammys (Best New Artist and Best Female Pop Vocal Performance) and an appearance on Saturday Night Live, which boosted her US fan base to the next level.

And if you still haven’t heard her voice, now is the time.

When asked about her debut album, Adele credits love: the firsts, the worsts, and everything in between. It’s fitting that her songs are the type that resonate with all kinds of love, since her inspiration does, too:

“The whole album is about being between 18 and 19; about love,” she continues. “‘Daydreamer’ is about this boy I was in love with, like proper in love with. He was bi and I couldn’t deal with that. All the things I wanted from my boyfriend, he was never going to be. I get really jealous anyway, so I couldn’t fight with girls and boys. It’s quite a sad album, [with songs about] being cheated on and not getting what you want.”

Now, to the elephant in the room: Adele isn’t skinny. She’s not even “average.” She’s a heavy girl, with a large frame and classic face. While she would have been a muse for kings’ courts and in Ruben’s paintings, she’s not the “beauty standard” of the modern day.

And yet, her songs and videos don’t even mention it.

In Make You Feel My Love Adele sits in her high rise downtown apartment, lamenting that her would-be lover hasn’t “made his mind up” about her yet…but there are no shots of some other (read: thinner) woman, or any other explanation for his hesitancy. She’s just a girl, waiting for his text message. He’s just a boy who hasn’t made up his mind.

She does classic beauty; she does messy nighttime gorgeous. Girl’s just plain stunning, with a crazy amazing voice.

In May, Adele began working on her second album at Shangri-La Studios in Malibu, California.

An article on Jezebel yesterday alerted us of a New Zealand advertisement for a weight loss drug, Xenical. Sure, we’ve all seen commercials on the tube for everything from pills to patches to pulsating electrical currents that promise to shed the pounds while you sit around sedentary – ahh, the easy life.

But what if you have actual aspirations? You know, sleeping with strangers, walking naked in the winter snow, playing like a child, tying your own shoes…

Well, this enlightening video addresses these things. Have a look.

We’d forgotten that you had to be thin to do all the things listed in this commercial – namely being a lamb in a den of wolves, of course. Fat people have no idea what it feels like to be free at all, as clearly depicted in the ad.

What do you think of the Kubrick-esque approach to weight loss marketing?

I’ve struggled with negative body image and self-scrutiny for the majority of my life. At this point, age 25, I’m fairly comfortable saying that I’ve just about overcome it. Writing TD and analyzing my mental and physical tendencies has allowed me to truly see how much hating my physical form really affected my life. Things that I thought were part of my personality were discovered to be no more than a product of my hate for myself -  a symptom of being extremely self-conscious and negative about the way I look. Pieces of my brain and my personality had acclimated to accommodate this behavior, and changing my perspective to that of a positive one was like facing two north sides of a magnet – What am I doing? Why have I done this for so long? It doesn’t make sense!

Once I’d regained control over my self-image, aspects of “myself” that I’d grown so used to faded away, and I was able to really see the control that this negative perspective had over me. That’s not to say, though, that all of the deeply engrained tendencies are gone – some of them are definitely still lingering.

I was thinking about this last night, and I was reminded of a line delivered by a great man, in a great song, in a great movie:

I’ll remove the cause… but not the symptom. - “Sweet Transvestite”, Rocky Horror Picture Show

I still have many habits that surround my accommodation of negative body image. One noteworthy one: retaining the interest of men. It’s true. I’ve recently had to inform a few previous suitors that I’m in an exclusive relationship and will no longer be dating. Most have taken it like, well, adults… But there was a situation recently wherein the recipient of this information chose “persistence” as a reaction as opposed to well wishes and/or support. When I resisted, he eventually played the “have a nice life” card, and was clearly bitter. I was shocked at how I reacted to this.

In the back of my head, there was a part of me that said “don’t lose this! You need people to be attracted to you.” I was immediately reminded of the years of my life that were indirectly dedicated to utilizing male attention as self-approval. If men thought I was attractive, then I wouldn’t have to appreciate me – other people could do it instead. It was also a form of sick validation that prevented me from having to actually love myself. Other people will do it.

The cause might be nearly eliminated, but the symptoms still linger. They’re like little tiny soldiers that are creeping around your mental castle – each needing to be killed, even though you’ve already found and burned the Trojan Horse.

Recognizing that I still had a deeply-rooted need to retain attention for men was a big eye opener for me. As we all know, negative body image isn’t something that you can just “turn off”, as some people might suggest. “You’re fine! Quit worrying about it” isn’t quite all that’s required to kill off the symptoms. If you’ve grown up hating your body and having no appreciation for yourself, chances are good that you’ve also acquired reactions, actions, and tendencies to accommodate that self-perception. We can’t forget about these symptoms, even though we’re trying to kill the cause.

What are your symptoms? Do you have tendencies that may have been formed by your negative self-image?

I went to the gym with a friend last night – instead of a drink and appetizers to catch up, we use an elliptical machine and ten minutes in the sauna – and as we were standing in front of the cooler trying to decide between drinks with ridiculous names like Muscle Milk and Monster Mass, a trainer began to offer suggestions.  After a few minutes, the conversation turned to our fitness goals.

When asked what I was looking to achieve, I explained that I want to be able to do more, physically.  Hike farther, balance longer, lift better.  “If I get lost in the woods, I want to know that my body is strong enough and lean enough to survive.  I can learn how to make fire after I’ve trained my body to withstand the stress of finding and breaking branches.”

Oddly enough, the trainer’s goal was similar…if a bit more intense.  “I’m preparing for a body building competition right now, but once that’s done, my next goal is to go hunting without a gun.”

“Like, with hand tools, or…”

“I’d start with knives, I guess.  You know how some animals hunt, sitting still and waiting for things to pass their way?  I’d start like that.”

This is where my brain exploded, and where my friend chimed in that she “just wants to be pretty.” (FYI: She’s already insanely gorgeous.  The kind of gorgeous that makes people jealous and angry.  The kind that people call “classic” and drop their jaws at. She’s less than ten pounds “overweight.”)

It’s interesting to think about what our different goals are, physically, and how they relate back to our own expectations, society’s pull, and even the primal urges from our evolution.  I know that my goals definitely relate to the idea of being able to “do it on my own,” which is something my upbringing and the feminist movement have taught me to expect of myself, to strive for.  My friend’s goal was a bit more superficial, maybe, but about surviving nonetheless, if only in a more suburban way.  And that trainer: can we say primal caveman urges?  Wow.

Why do you work out?  What influences your health goals?

What a refreshing development – Debenhams, a UK retail store, is running a swim campaign by loudly renouncing retouched photos.

Yes, selling swimsuits by showing images of models that haven’t had their arms literally shaved off and their waists whittled to unbelievable proportions. Could it really be true?

Yes. The store’s windows display large, clear images of un-retouched bikini models next to a “typical retouched” photo of the same girl.

Sadly, the photo on the right looks more familiar for a catalogue or product image, doesn’t it? How nice is it to see a literally real girl wearing a bikini and looking amazing, though? We can only hope that this is a big step for retailers.

As if Debenhams hadn’t done enough, they also supplied an image detailing how the retouched photo was created. Outlining every single change to this beautiful model’s body, as is typically done in photoshopped product photos. The image is a little shocking, and a bit disheartening.

Good lord. And people try to argue that the idea that beauty standards are not being enforced by the media and retailers. This is hard evidence that we are all being manipulated. Accompanying these photos and this campaign, the Creative Director of Debenham’s had some great things to say about his vision:

As a responsible retailer we want to help customers make the most of their beauty without bombarding them with unattainable body images. Our campaign is all about making women feel good about themselves – not eroding their self belief and esteem by using false comparisons. Not only does it make sense from a moral point of view, it ticks the economic boxes as well. Millions of pounds a year are spent by organisations retouching perfectly good images. As a rule we only airbrush minor things like pigmentation or stray hair and rely on the natural beauty of models to make our product look great. We are proud to bring the issue of re-touching into the main stream when the likes of Britney Spears and Madonna are using unairbrushed but over-lit images as a shock tactic.

We only wish that we lived in the UK so we could support this progressive, forward-thinking, and body-positive organization.

Have you seen any other campaigns like this?
Tell us!

Every day at TDHQ, we get an onslaught of PR emails. Some are good, some are just ok… But the vast majority of them follow this simplistic formula:

[Name of celebrity] spotted wearing [name of random brand] [name of random article of clothing]s in [name of expensive-to-travel-to location]!

Sure, it’s nice to know about brands, and I guess it’s nice to know what really, really, uncontrollably wealthy people are wearing… But it begs the question: Should we care, really?

Does the fact that Kate Bosworth is wearing some more Chanel, or Lindsay Lohan is wearing some random LA fashion brand make a difference in what you want to wear?

Take our poll! (If you’re reading in an RSS reader, please click through and weigh in!)

It doesn’t help that bikinis are modeled in the most ridiculous ways.  These girls are never actually on a beach, and with their made-up faces and perfectly-styled hair, not one of them appears to be interested in swimming.  But that’s modeling, right?

That is, unless it goes too far.  Below are some of our… reactions… to a few swimsuits (and the models wearing them) available for purchase on Etsy.  Don’t worry: along with the snark, you’ll see loving translations.  It’s all in good fun.

Glam Punk Swimsuit: $85

Lindsay: “Am I sexy yet?”
Jen: “This bracelet is my shark defense system, but if it fails, I can just untie the suit and wave it around. The flash will blind the sharks so I can get away!”

(Translation: hot girls look hottest when they’re not trying. This? Trying. Times ten.  Plus sequins.)

Lacey Spankie Shorts Bikini: $90

Jen: Honey, did you get into mommy’s makeup again?
…and is that Dov Charney taking your photo?
Lindsay: She’s going to look like a Kiss band reject, post-swim.

(Translation: that bikini is the perfect way to rock the Adorable Look. Don’t ruin it with emo eyeliner.)

Gold Zebra Wrap Bikini: $80

Lindsay: Just hanging out in my favorite lounge wearing no clothes really.
Jen: And more jewelry than a Roman emperor.
Lindsay: If Cleopatra was a club ho.

(Translation: Who wears a bikini to a club? And with that much jewelry?  And obviously just after removing her neck brace?)

Orange Tiger Stripe Monokini: $75

Jen: I repeat: This is NOT a MySpace photo I found.  This is an ad.  On Etsy.  For a monokini.  That costs $75. Really.  It is.
Lindsay: OMG REALLY?

(Translation: This is the main photo for the ad?  Why not the flattering one below it, with the model on the catwalk?  Or the one on the mannequin?  Or something not blurry?  Or ANYTHING ELSE?)

Frahm Bikini in Black and White Gingham: SOLD OUT

Yesterday:

Lindsay: It looks like she’s about to get porn-raped.
Jen: She got a bad grade in swim class, and her instructor is asking for extra credit.

Today:

Jen: OMG LINDSAY IT SOLD OUT.
Lindsay: NO FUCKING WAY.

(Translation: this is another instance of “the runway shot looked better.”  A schoolgirl look, massive eyeliner and cheap sandals?  If this isn’t in every schoolgirl porn scene, I don’t know what is.)

Sassy Bikini with Cowl Neck: $75

Lindsay: Yyyyyyyyyuck.
Jen: It’s raining, but luckily, I have this hood to keep me from – why yes, I am going swimming later.  Why do you ask?

(Translation: sometimes, fashion does not win over function.)

Pink Leopard Kitty Kat Bikini: $72

Lindsay: That’s Cleopatra Club Ho brand, right?
Jen: Yes!  They have the monopoly on bikini club wear…with big slouchy boots.
Because sometimes your feet get cold at the beach.
Lindsay: Occasionally.  Keeps the sand out of the toes, you know.

(Translation:  Come on, you can’t even see the bikini.  And this is the default picture!)

Itsy Bitsy Bikini in Pink and Black Polka Dots: $65

Jen: Look who came to join the student-teacher swim porn!
Lindsay: And she’s no amateur. Look at that “I know this game” confidence!
Jen: Aw, Gingham Girl won’t be scared anymore.  Yay.

(Translation: Those heels.  Those earings.  The leather Ikea porn couch.  Come on – this is bad.)

Custom Micro Bikini: $59

Jen: Wait, no…this is porn.  Like, “She doesn’t know my camera phone is pointed at her boobs” porn.
Lindsay: WTF.
Wh…y… would anyone… wear…
I mean…
This should be called “More Than Mons.”

Strapless Jean Look Bikini: $50

Lindsay: HOOOOWHAT.
Jen: I can’t even begin to understand this one.

(Translation: actually, I think we’re pretty clear, here.)

Shitsville Clothing DIY Bikini Set: $37

Jen: I really have to pee.  Are we done with this shoot yet?
Lindsay: Also, lol @ “shitsville.”
Jen: Seems pretty appropriate to me.

(Translation: the second photo for this item? Gorgeous.  How did this shot + that brand name NOT connect the dots for these people?)

The focus on “health” in the media has skyrocketed over the last year or so – with shows like The Biggest Loser, Losing It with Jillian, and The Style Network’s Ruby giving America a “real life look” at our major health issues relating to weight.

I’d been hearing murmurs about the new ABC show, “Huge“, for a little while… but seeing as it’s a drama and not actual people made me less than interested in exploring it (though one could debate that “reality shows” have become about as “real” as your average soap opera). But then I started to see bits and pieces of commentary popping up around the blogosphere – becoming more and more frequent as days passed. I decided against reading any personal reviews – good or bad – and give you my honest, very real, very immediate opinion of the show… as I watch it.

Here’s the Hulu synopsis:

Huge is a compelling new original drama series from ABC Family about teens from different backgrounds as they attend weight loss camp and embark on a journey of self discovery. The series will follow the emotional journey of the campers as they deal with issues including self-esteem, friendship, rivalry, romance and body image.

Friendship, rivalry, and body image! Sounds like a hoot.

I guess there is where I say “spoilers ahead” – I’m pressing play!

2:10 Okay, two things right off the bat… I’m super stoked on the “fashionista fat girls”, or what have you. They exist! They are not any different from regular teenage girls. Trust. I keep having to remind myself that this show is not necessarily setting out to promote healthy body image, but instead over-dramatizing the reality of negative body image. So when I see things like:

“Oh my god, you’re so thin…”
“No, I’m not.”
“Oh my god, yes you are, look at me…”

I have to batten the eye-twitch-hatches and recall that the goal of this show is not likely to help anyone. We’ll see.

2:30 Okay, off topic fangirl moment: Oh my god Gina Torres is in this?! SHE IS AWESOME, TD LOVES FIREFLY.

Commercial break commentary: So, I thought the crazy striptease was rad. And the aftershock-complete-mortification – oh yeah. That’s good stuff. The opening credits could use a little work. I get the feeling this is going to be “people are fat because they eat too much”-centric. That could get irritating.

8:02 OH GOD, THINSPIRATION.

10:00 Is this show going to have every camp stereotype? We have the no-messin’-around leader, the overly enthusiastic camp counselor, the Jillian Michaels-esque fitness chick and the oh-my-god-so-dreamy other… fitness… guy. All we need now is the crusty-wisdom-spouting cafeteria employee. Also, why is the blonde chick a) the only blonde chick and b) the only one wearing makeup and c) the only one that’s getting any type of pavement for romantic plotline?

20:42 I have to say, they did a good job of portraying the dreaded “Hey, come sit on my lap” situation. When you’re conscious of that ish, it is the scariest thing on Earth.

Commercial break commentary: I really, really hate commercials. Also, I’m really over this “blonde chick who attracts dudes never has a hair out of place, and has no visible flaws” business.

25:00 Come on, really? Sweatpant fabric doesn’t rip like that, guysss. Oh, and lest we not forget the blonde getting into an inappropriate romance with a much older authority figure. I’m sure that will be addressed…

33:39 I’m not really stoked on the “fat kids can’t handle having food around”! Plays into my aforementioned “Fat people are fat because they eat too much” myth that is only seeming to be perpetuated here.

35:35 OH GINA TORRES, YOU’RE SO UNDERSTA… oh, nevermind.

38:00 OH GINA TORRES, YOU’RE SO UNDERSTANDING.

Also, I see what they’re trying to do with the Wil character. The whole “you just think I’m unhealthy because I’m fat! It’s a load of crap! I love myself as I am!” That’s not an entirely uncommon perspective, especially over the last few years. The “fat acceptance” idea is becoming popularized – particularly via blogging – but I have to be candid and mention that it’s not entirely valid. It’s not a blanket idea that you can throw across everyone. The idea that all fat people are unhealthy might not be 100% true – but if you have an uncontrollable disorder that’s keeping you overweight, or making it difficult to achieve a “healthy” weight – you’re not healthy, by definition. I’m all for loving yourself as you are – don’t get me wrong. But I’m also for treating your body in the way that will produce your desired results. For instance, I smoke cigarettes – I know it’s gross. I don’t do it to lose weight, I don’t do it for any reason other than the fact that I enjoy it. Will I curse the universe when I start coughing up a lung at 60? No, because I signed up for it. Same goes with weight situations, in my mind, anyway. Random speech over.

Oh, also show over.

Well. I’m not entirely unhappy with it. It was super boring and predictable there for a while… And there are definitely some perpetuated stereotypes involved, but – speaking from fat kid experience – they are accurately displaying a lot of the very true, very intensely lame parts of having negative body image in your teenage years. I really hope they ditch the “cute blonde” act with Amber/Sandra, and get rid of the “omg fat people want food all the time” cop-out, but overall, the show doesn’t seem to be too harmful in the first episode.

Have you seen Huge? What were your thoughts on it?