It’d be nice if there was a secret I could tell you about how to instantly make your kids more successful in school and life. But there is no magic pill, only that old stand-by, hard work. And the funny thing about that is, you can’t force kids to work hard. I suppose you could try, but I’ve rarely seen anything useful come from kids whose parents had to hold their noses to the grindstone. If there’s something close to a secret, perhaps it’s this: Kids work hard when they want to work hard, and this happens only when are motivated to do so by some positive internal goal, and not by fear or because they are worried about disappointing others. They work hard because they value hard work. Instilling kids with values like this is the first step the long road to real success.

But that doesn’t mean there’s nothing you can do to make this happen. Here are five ways to put your kids on the path to extraordinary:

Toot Your Own Horn. Ask anyone who knows me and they’ll tell you I sound like a broken record when it comes to spreading the gospel of music education. Put simply, every child should play an instrument, and parents should make whatever sacrifices are necessary to put a flute, trumpet, guitar, or tuba in their kid’s hands. I don’t have room here to list all the valuable skills that playing music can help develop, but one of the most important is the ability to listen to others: to make great music, a child must learn to pay attention to what others are playing. Doing so improves focus and teaches a valuable lesson about collaboration.

Be the Example. We’ve probably all seen a parent yelling at her kids to be quiet and perhaps chuckled to ourselves about the mixed signals sent by this gesture. It seems like an easy lesson: for kids to understand why things are important, you have to be consistent. But this isn’t just situational advice. Kids mirror parents and adults in far more depth than we often realize. They internalize our values by watching what we do, which is why it’s essential that we live the way we want them to live. We can stress the importance of being on time until we’re blue in the face, but if we’re constantly late to pick them up from school, that’s what they’re going to remember.

Great Books are Great for a Reason. Kids have two backpacks: the physical one they carry their books in, and the mental backpack where they store all the lessons and experiences they’ll use to help make decisions. A paperback copy of To Kill a Mockingbird won’t take up much room in the first one, but the wisdom contained within this book can be carried in the mental backpack for a lifetime. There are lessons here about choosing generosity over selfishness, making the right choice even when it’s the difficult one, and standing up for your beliefs. I also recommend Thornton Wilder’s fantastic play Our Town, and anything by Shakespeare (important note: kids are never too young for Shakespeare). A kid with a library card has the world at her fingertips, and when parents read with her, they can serve as map to help make sense of that world.

Do Unto Others. Volunteering is a great way to build character and teach values while making an important contribution to the community. Working at a soup kitchen on Thanksgiving, visiting an elderly person at a retirement home on a regular basis, or planting trees and helping to beautify your town are all great ways to help kids learn about the importance of selflessness and humility. I know several families who volunteer together on a holiday schedule: on each day off, they pick a different activity and spend a few hours volunteering together. This way, parents get to be the example, reinforcing the positive message.

Patience, My Dears. In today’s on-demand world, kids are taught that anything worth having can be had instantly. This is an incredibly bad lesson, and parents must work to counteract this by instilling kids with patience and focus — the skills that will let them buckle down to achieve the truly great things that invariably take much time and effort. I’ve found that gardening is an excellent choice when it comes to teaching patience. Kids see that reaching their goal is a slow process, one that requires dedicated care and attention at every phase. And since they get to watch their garden grow as they tend to it, they learn that the real pleasure is in the process (though ripe tomatoes are certainly also a pleasure, and tasty!).

You may have noticed that most of these “success” tips don’t have anything to do with school. That’s because making kids extraordinary people is the first step toward making them extraordinary students. All follows from values and character, and in working to instill these, you’ll create kids that you — and the rest of the community and country — can be proud of.

©2009 Rafe Esquith, author of Lighting Their Fires: Raising Extraordinary Children in a Mixed-up, Muddled-up, Shook-up World


Rafe Esquith, author of Lighting Their Fires: Raising Extraordinary Children in a Mixed-up, Muddled-up, Shook-up World, has taught at Hobart Elementary School in Los Angeles for twenty-four years. He is the only teacher to have been awarded the president’s National Medal of the Arts. His many other honors and awards include the American Teacher Award, Parents magazine’s As You Grow Award, Oprah Winfrey’s Use Your Life Award, and People magazine’s Heroes Among Us Award. He lives in Los Angeles with his wife, Barbara Tong.

For more information, please visit www.hobartshakespeareans.org

The most reliable primary documents that have come down to us concerning Sacagawea are, of course, the journals of Meriwether Lewis and William Clark, through which she has entered the public imagination as an improbable but key player on the stage of American history. But even the journals, famed as they are, give us only fleeting glimpses of this young woman. She was one of Toussaint Charbonneau’s several “squaws”, a usage that covered everything from absolute servitude to common law marriage. In historical accounts, she is most frequently described as his “wife”, but the fact remains that we have no way of knowing the human contours of their relationship.

The instances of her mentions in the journals are themselves full of dramatic details: a difficult labor for her first child, Jean-Baptiste Charbonneau, born on February 11, 1805 in the bitter cold far-northern reaches of the Upper Missouri; her dire illness and near death in June of that year, when Lewis dosed her attentively from his meager medicine kit; her vote as an equal member of the expedition about the location of their winter camp once they reached the Pacific; her insistence at being allowed to accompany the party dispatched by Clark to the shore of the Pacific to investigate what meat might be recovered from a beached whale.

All of these scenes have survived in the clear and dispassionate prose of the two captains, and while they offer tantalizing glimpses of how Sacagawea reacted under pressure, they of course come from the pens of those whose business it was to give the expedition shape in daily journals. While history is indeed written by the conquerors, perhaps here it would be more apt to say that history is first written by those who can write. How would she have described the captains? Nothing certain remains from Sacagawea’s oral tradition, so the accounts of those whose language included an alphabet were bound to prevail.


Sacagawea, Repository of Legends

Even so, the degree to which the slender and infrequent mentions of Sacagawea in the Lewis & Clark journals have subsequently been weighed down with meaning is astounding. Beginning in the late nineteenth century, and gathering steam well into the twentieth, there developed an elaborate literature of wonder, almost of awe, around her being. She has come to represent resilience, courage, patience, loving motherhood, feminine independence . . . the list is virtually endless. It has been said that more images of her adorn public places than that of any other American woman. The latest iteration of her imagined likeness, the young mother bearing her papoose who graces the U.S. dollar coin, is as close as American culture is ever likely to come to an indigenous Madonna and Child.

And yet most of this is pure fabrication, a projection of our own changing needs and perceptions of the past. I am reminded of the elaborate hagiography that has built up in France around Joan of Arc, just enough of it based on the startling and dramatic facts of her life to lay the groundwork for a complete mythology. In that sense, Lewis & Clark is our own founding myth, and the individual actors in its story assume the proportions of legend as we embroider the fragile facts we have with our own imaginings. Sacagawea dances around the edges of the narrative: innocent, strong, pure of heart, and ultimately unknowable, an undying receptacle for our dreams about both past and future. The beaten and abducted young squaw stands alongside the mother of a mixed-race son, the determined woman who saved Lewis & Clark from failure by bargaining for horses with the tribe from which she had been torn. Could any refracted image we fashion to express our hopes be more ambiguous, or more captivating?

©2009 Thad Carhart, author of Across the Endless River

Thad Carhart, author of Across the Endless River, is a dual citizen of the United States and Ireland. He lives in Paris with his wife, the photographer Simo Neri, and their two children.

For more information please visit www.thadcarhart.com

I left my home in Los Angeles at the age of 15 to study at the famed School of American Ballet, the official school of the New York City Ballet. By the age of 18, I became a full member of the NYC Ballet. By 20, I was starring as the Sugar Plum Fairy in The Nutcracker, dancing roles created by George Balanchine and Jerome Robbins.

The following year I was featured in a new ballet by Peter Martins (the company director following Balanchine’s death). It was an incredibly exciting time, but also a very exhausting one. Dancing all day and performing every night, I ignored the strange symptoms I was feeling. I didn’t think anything was wrong.

I thought I was feeling thirsty and hungry, spaced out, having to urinate frequently, and losing weight because of the intense schedule and my nerves for the big premiere. I would have continued to ignore my symptoms had it not been for the sores under my arms that had become infected. It was terribly painful to lift my arms, not to mention how unattractive it was. I was often dizzy and I found it hard to feel my extremities, particularly my toes, when I danced.

My diagnosis was informal and cold. I sat in that office and was handed pamphlet after pamphlet about diabetes and its terrifying complications, anything from heart disease and stroke, to blindness, kidney failure and loss of limbs. All I could think about was getting back to the theater. I left the doctor’s office confused and annoyed. Back at the theatre, I convinced myself the blood work was off because of my exhaustion or a lab error. I was a 21-year-old aspiring ballerina with the New York City Ballet. A disease people give money to for charity had nothing to do with me.

I was clearly in denial, fueled by the fact that because of my age, doctors assumed I had type 2 diabetes (associated with lifestyle, being overweight and inactivity) and I was put on oral medication. Everything came crashing down when I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. Going on insulin felt like the ultimate failure. I hated my body for its inadequacies. I felt hopeless at the thought of how I would juggle shots of insulin with my performance schedule. I was inexperienced with how much insulin to take at any given time before dancing, and unaware of the immediate danger of taking too much.

I should have discussed my concerns and difficulties with my doctor, but at the time it was easier to find a new one rather than try to communicate with the old one. Once again I was told I had type 2 diabetes. This new doctor even took me off insulin, to even stop checking my sugar levels. He thought the lows on stage were far more dangerous than letting my sugars go up a bit. He thought I was being obsessive. Could he have been right?

How could I have convinced myself it was okay to let my blood sugars go high? I was still hoping the whole thing would go away or would reverse itself. I was still in denial, happy to put the meter away and stop my shots. It didn’t take long for my original symptoms to return. I think dancing all day and night, and eating as perfectly as I could, is how I survived with no insulin for almost a year. But I looked and felt terrible. Even though the company still let me dance in the Corp de ballet every night, there were no leading roles coming my way. When I finally “woke up” and checked my blood sugar levels, the meter would not go that high. It was time to end my denial, take responsibility for my body, and accept my insulin-dependent diabetes.

I started a balanced insulin program and began looking and feeling better. Ironically, as I learned how to perform every night without experiencing extreme lows, I also psychologically started to question the reality of my situation.

Was this a suitable lifestyle for a person with type 1 diabetes? Maybe I was putting too much pressure on myself. I was exhausted from all the ups and downs with my physiology and from trying so hard to prove I was the same promising dancer I once was. I was not the same. Maybe it was time for me to admit I had accomplished a lot, but it was time to find a more suitable lifestyle for an insulin-dependent diabetic.

As much as I wanted to quit dancing, I just could not let myself do it. When I listened to the small voice in my heart, I admitted to myself that if I quit, I would be using diabetes as an excuse. The truth is I was more tired about wishing I could be the dancer I once was, alive and joyful, than I was tired of diabetes. I told myself I hadn’t yet danced on the right insulin regime for long enough and didn’t know what was possible. I did not want to look back with regret. I knew I would always wonder, so I had to stay and keep trying.

Nine years after I joined the company (six years after my diagnosis), I was promoted to Soloist Ballerina of the New York City Ballet. I performed with the company another 7 years, 16 years total with the company and 13 with diabetes. I loved every performance and am grateful for every moment I had on stage. Today I am a teacher and I stage George Balanchine ballets all over the world.

We all have a story. We all experience obstacles that affect our motivation and ability to take the best care possible. We can’t always see the light at the end of the tunnel, even though it is there, brighter than we can imagine. If, in the end, it is just too much, know that you did the best you could. I believe our best is good enough!

©2009 Zippora Karz, author of The Sugarless Plum


Zippora Karz, author of The Sugarless Plum:A Ballerina’s Triumph Over Diabetes,is a former soloist ballerina with the New York City Ballet where she performed for 16 years on stage and in televised performances. She was featured in a variety of roles choreographed by George Balanchine and Jerome Robbins (The Sugar Plum Fairy in The Nutcracker being one of her favorites) as well as works choreographed for her by such choreographers as Peter Martins and Lynne Taylor Corbett. Miss Karz danced with the New York City Ballet from 1983 through 1999. She now serves as a teacher and repetiteur for the George Balanchine Trust, rehearsing and staging Balanchine’s choreography for a host of national and international dance companies. She is also a diabetes spokesperson and educator who regularly addresses major diabetes conferences and organizations worldwide. She lives in Los Angeles, California. For more information please visit www.ZipporaKarz.com

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Mindset is not just about your thoughts, it is also very much about your emotions. So what you think is crucial but what you feel is even more significant when it comes to writing a book for publication, and indeed with everything you do in life. Thought and emotion are an immensely powerful combination which can either work for, or against, what you want to achieve with your writing.

On her 40th birthday, Jane decided that the book she had thought about writing for so long could not be put off any longer. It felt like ‘now or never’ and she was determined to see it through to completion. As a professional person who had an interest in personal development, Jane knew all about setting goals and positive thinking. So she created a plan and scheduled time in her diary to begin writing.

Three months later with only a few pages of notes and nothing concrete achieved, she approached me for help. She was dismayed by the fact that despite her best efforts and a strong mental determination to write this book, it just wasn’t happening. It was especially frustrating for her as she was a disciplined person who usually found it easy to stick to her plans. It wasn’t long before the coaching process revealed that although she had gathered her thoughts about writing her book, the way she felt about the whole process was entirely different.

Deep down she didn’t believe she could write or that she had anything interesting to say let alone that anyone else would be interested to read her words. She also felt she had no chance whatsoever of being published and discovered that sheer willpower didn’t work. The harder she pushed, the less progress she made! Once she realised what was happening she felt an enormous sense of relief. She was then able to let go of the enormous pressure she had been putting herself under. As a result, we were able to work on releasing the anxieties she was feeling so that she could embrace a healthier and more holistic approach to writing her book.

With the right awareness and support, she was able to shift her mindset - thoughts and feelings - onto a new level which ultimately led to an opening of the way for her writing to flow. She is now enjoying writing more than ever before and making good progress with her manuscript. Jane’s story is not an isolated example. When it comes to writing your book for publication, your mindset will literally make or break your success.

So here are 3 tips to help you review your current mindset and cultivate the right conditions to support your creative expression on the page:

1. Ask yourself this question: how do I feel about being someone who writes / a writer / an author?

Do you believe in yourself as a writer, if not all of the time, at least most of the time? If not, how many ways can you come up with to support a shift in your mindset around this question? You could write in your journal to download your anxieties and clear space for new thoughts and feelings to arise. Try remembering a time when you did feel strong and confident about something and then apply those feelings to yourself as a writer.

2. Check in regularly …

It is important to check in with how you are thinking and feeling about your writing on a regular basis. Every time you sit down to write take a few moments to bring your awareness to your mindset before you start. Develop a range of strategies to shift your mindset if you need to and seek support if you want to fast-track your progress.

3. Make sure you are in alignment - body, mind, emotions and soul!

You will know if you are in alignment because your life will be full of synchronicity. The right people and opportunities will arrive just when you need them. A book will fall open at a page with the information you were looking for.

Of course life isn’t always that smooth. Yet if you constantly feel like you are pushing a snowball up a mountain, you can be sure that something is out of synch somewhere! Get used to checking what’s going on within you at every level and then take action as required. Minding your mindset will enable you to do what you are here to do and write what you are here to write.

Enjoy the journey!

Julia McCutchen opens the way for writers to find their true voice, discover themselves in the process, and write consciously, creatively, successfully and with soul. A former managing director and publisher with over 20 years’ publishing experience, Julia’s holistic approach includes coaching, mentoring and masterclasses for aspiring authors. To access free articles, audios and other resources for writers, visithttp://www.JuliaMcCutchen.com

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Lifers seem to sense — seem to have learned, from years of hard-won experience — that the wicked stepmother has much to teach us about who we are and, counterintuitively perhaps, that she has a lesson or two to impart about surviving stepmotherhood with our self-respect intact. The happiest, most successful women with stepchildren, it seems, have first of all accepted the ugly truth that we will, some days, be ugly — jealous, resentful, and angry. Slowly, the women who succeed at marriage to a man with children learn that these charged feelings are not only terribly taboo; they are also grounded in reality. Jealousy, as stepfamily expert Elizabeth Church writes, comes from feeling powerless, and stepmothers are certainly often that. Resentment indicates that we are feeling unappreciated and that our overtures of kindness are going unreciprocated — another common and maddening reality of stepmother-stepchild relations. Anger may be a sign that our unrealistic expectations of stepfamily harmony have been dashed. Or it may be a healthy response to feeling spurned and unsupported for years on end, and it may eventually motivate us — and our husbands — to take constructive action.

Like the classic wicked stepmother, the happiest lifers no longer seem hobbled by the need to be liked by their stepkids. If things work out, that’s fine. And if they don’t, well, the lifers shrug as if to say, It’s okay to stop trying if you know you gave it your best. Some battles just can’t be won and aren’t worth my energy. Nor do successful lifers seem gagged by the fear that stepkids, husbands, friends, or the world at large will think of them as stepmonsters if they speak up about wanting respect and civil treatment, or to be treated as a person rather than an obstacle in front of Dad or a maid. Such fears and the need for approval are likely the biggest obstacles a stepmother must overcome in her quest to put her own happiness on a par with that of the rest of the family. It may be difficult or frightening at first to assert ourselves, feeling like outsiders in the family hierarchy as we likely do, but the alternative is worse. Again and again, women with stepkids showed me that it is a quick slide from “I bite my tongue when his kids say something rude or mean to me because I don’t want to get into an argument with them” to “I’m afraid to lay down the law in my own home.” Next stop is “I nag my husband to get his kids to act better and be nicer to me, and then he and I have a huge fight.” Then on to “I hate being a stepmother” and, finally, “I just can’t do this anymore.”

It might just be that some of the strategies of the classic wicked stepmother — toned down but essentially gleaned straight from her ostensibly evil behavior — can pull us back from the brink and even make marriage to a man with children pleasurable. Every day, for example, the wicked stepmother looks at her reflection and asks, “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?” The real life lesson here is not to be a homicidal, envious narcissist, of course, but to put yourself first. Stepmothers, as we have seen from the studies of their rates of burnout and depression, constantly lose sight of their own needs — arguably even of themselves — as they deal with, blame themselves for, and attempt to fix stepfamily dynamics. Giving yourself a little love will counterbalance the powerful but unreasonable cultural imperative that you must put his kids first. And a little vanity is the best antidote to the typical step-dilemma of becoming so consumed with the unhappiness that sometimes surrounds you that you forget you are an attractive woman, an appealing wife, and a compelling, sexy person — that is, that you have an identity apart from being a stepmom. As a stepmother of two teens told me, “Love thyself, because your stepkids won’t.”

The wicked stepmother does more than gaze at herself in the mirror, of course. She schemes, pulls strings, and consolidates her power. Real stepmothers have no need for any of that. Mostly. But it does pay for a woman with stepchildren to be canny, to observe, and to be strategic in her dealings with her husband and his kids. For example, there are worse things than helping your husband see that you are on the receiving end of quite a lot of bad treatment from his kids (whom he may naturally but unrealistically idealize until you help him see the truth about their behavior) and that it hurts you. It helps to remember that men generally have an easier time dealing with a wife who is sad or pained than one who is aggrieved and angry. Learning to show what is underneath your alienating fury — vulnerability and sadness — will not hurt your efforts. And as for power, don’t forget that you are, in fact, the queen of your household. Pandering and kowtowing to stepchildren of any age who do not respect you as one of the two people who rule your roost will not get them to like you, and it will not make them easier for you to like either. Lifers know that everyone wins when you can find it within yourself to say “Please don’t be rude to me in my home.”

The classic wicked stepmother is, of course, cold and unfeeling. She is emotionally stingy. And she may just have a point — sort of. After all, for a lot of good reasons, your stepkids are extremely unlikely to appreciate, let alone thank you for, your efforts with them. In all likelihood, neither will they gratify your desire to be loved. Your response should be never to give too much. Don’t give stepkids the opportunity to break anything of value to you, including your heart. Lowering your expectations of them and maintaining your focus on your own life — a toned-down version of being cold — will create a pressure-free environment in which a friendship might eventually take hold and even flourish.

Perhaps most notoriously, the wicked stepmother loves her own children best and doesn’t hesitate to put them first. The lesson here is not to be spiteful or petty, of course, or to overtly play favorites. But lifers and experts concur: don’t try to pretend that you love his kids and your kids the same, and don’t buy into the destructive belief that you should. His kids aren’t yours, you likely didn’t know them when they were beguiling babies or toddlers, and they are probably not making an effort to be lovable now. No guilt and no self-flagellating, then, when those without a clue observe, “You probably love them like they’re your own,” and it makes you want to roll your eyes. The expectations of the uninformed — especially regarding “maternal” behavior — are a particular burden for stepmothers. But others’ hopes needn’t become your obligation. Knowing the difference between what you can realistically achieve and what others think you ought to be able to do is the equivalent of a lifeline for women with stepkids.

The above is an excerpt from the book Stepmonster: A New Look at Why Real Stepmothers Think, Feel, and Act the Way We Do by Wednesday Martin, Ph.D. The above excerpt is a digitally scanned reproduction of text from print. Although this excerpt has been proofread, occasional errors may appear due to the scanning process. Please refer to the finished book for accuracy.

Copyright © 2009 Wednesday Martin, Ph.D., author of Stepmonster: A New Look at Why Real Stepmothers Think, Feel, and Act the Way We Do



Wednesday Martin Ph.D., author of Stepmonster: A New Look at Why Real Stepmothers Think, Feel, and Act the Way We Do was a regular contributor to the New York Post’s parenting page for several years, and her work has appeared in a number of national magazines. She earned her doctorate in comparative literature from Yale and taught cultural studies and literature at Yale, the New School, and Baruch College. Martin, a stepmother for nine years, lives in New York City with her husband and their two sons.

For more information please visit www.WednesdayMartin.com.

• Sometimes people apologize to try to have control over the other person. If the other person has indicated that they expect an apology and you give it to them, whether or not you feel apologetic or feel that you have anything to apologize for, then you are trying to have control over how the other person feels about you.The problem with apologizing with the intent to control is that you have to give yourself up to do it, and this will always make you feel badly inside. Giving yourself up gives yourself the message that how the other person feels about you is more important than being true to yourself. So, even if the other person is happy with you that you apologized, you may feel some depression as a result of compromising your own integrity.

• The other reason people apologize is because they genuinely feel badly about something they did. They apologize because it is loving to themselves to acknowledge their own unloving behavior. They apologize out of caring for themselves and for the person they are apologizing to. This apology is coming from a sense of integrity and leads to feeling peaceful within.

“Patricia, while it may seem helpful to apologize to appease Brent, in the long run it is anything but helpful. While it may calm things for the moment, in the long run it sets up a codependent system where Brent is making you responsible for his feelings. You have to apologize for him to feel okay or feel loving toward you. It is not your responsibility to care-take his feelings.

“On the other hand, if you have behaved in a way that you are not happy with, then it is taking responsibility for your own feelings to sincerely apologize to Brent.”

“So it is loving to apologize when I’m doing it for me, but not when I’m doing it for him?”

“Well, it is loving when you are doing it for both of you, but not just for him. When you are doing it just for him, then you are allowing him to control you and you are being compliant as a way to control him, which will never make you feel good inside or foster a loving relationship.”

“But what if he demands an apology before he will be loving to me?”

“Then he is making you responsible for his feelings, and by apologizing, you are making him responsible for your feelings. You are abandoning yourself to try to get love, rather than being loving to yourself. If you genuinely feel that you didn’t do anything for which you need to apologize, then it is loving to yourself to let go of whether or not he is being loving to you and accept the responsibility of being loving to yourself.”

“Oh, I get it! If I apologize to get him to be loving to me, even when I feel that I haven’t done anything wrong, then I am abandoning myself and trying to control him instead of being true to myself. No wonder I feel so badly when I do that! It’s been confusing because it’s very easy for me to apologize when I’ve been hurtful to him and it makes me feel good to do that, but apologizing when he is demanding it and I know that I have done nothing to apologize for makes me feel awful inside. Thanks for the clarity!”

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including “Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?” and “Healing Your Aloneness.” She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a free Inner Bonding course:http://www.innerbonding.com or email her at margaret@innerbonding.com . Phone sessions available.


Enjoy that? Discover lots more of Margaret’s excellent articles here in our Inner Bonding section.

First and foremost, writers who are serious about publishing must develop good writing techniques and an effective, habitual submission strategy. There is no substitute for true publishing credentials: seeing your byline in a reputable print magazine or literary journal is valuable not only to your morale, but to your reputation. But if you’re in a pinch and you’d like to pad your writing bio while you’re waiting for the acceptance letters to start coming in, here are some techniques you might use.


Join a national, reputable writing organization. By joining a professional organization of writers in your genre, you are demonstrating that you are worthy of being among those writers and that you are serious about your writing. You are creating associations between yourself and that professional, established, reputable group. If you are writing romance novels, join Romance Writers of America. If you write literary work, consider the Association of Writing Programs. You will need to spend some money on the registration fees for these organizations, but it will be worth it if you can indicate that you are a member in good standing within specific writing groups. You’ll get to include their name on your query or cover letter; you’ll get access to great resources and a network of writers who may be willing to help you; and you’ll demonstrate your own professionalism. The credentials in your bio will show that even though you have few (if any) publication credits now, it’s only a matter of time.


Join a small, local organization. If you can’t muster up enough money to join a professional writing organization, you can often join a smaller local organization for free. If you can note on your cover or query letter, “I am part of a writer’s group that meets every month,” you’ll show that you’re resourceful and devoted. To find a local writing group or organization, visit your local library and ask around. Or you can find them by looking into social networking sites. Just take the necessary precautions to stay safe. The professional bio in your cover letter will look more writerly and your writing technique is bound to improve with your new commitment to critique and discussions of craft.


Volunteer. Writers and readers love people who volunteer with literary advocacy groups, and literary agents and editors are no exception. When you volunteer for a literacy organization, you look good because you’re doing good. Not only might you discover that your publishing credentials look better when you volunteer your time, but you may also learn that you enjoy sharing your passion for all things writing. It’s a win-win situation for all parties involved.


Take classes. Research local schools or find local writers who teach classes. Studious writers are perceived as serious writers. Plus, being able to write that you “studied at the University of ABC” or that you “worked with award-winning novelist Joe Anybody” does a lot for your credibility. If you can’t get to a school, check out online classes available through your local colleges or other national writing schools.


Go to a writing conference. If your time and finances allow it, go to a writing conference. Not only will you be able to learn and network with literary agents, editors, and writers, you’ll also be able to note your attendance in your bio. If a literary agent or editor recognizes the name of the conference (perhaps he or she attended the conference in the past), it may work in your favor.

These are just a few ways you can quickly build the credits in the bio of your cover or query letter. You may not have stellar publishing credentials–maybe you haven’t published anything at all–but by demonstrating that you are committed to your work and your craft, you prove that you are reputable, dependable, and devoted. Just remember, when it comes to your commitment to publishing, strong submissions and publications are the BEST way to prove your skill! Good luck.

Ronnie Smith is President of Writer’s Relief.  Ronnie tells us “Writer’s Relief (est. 1994) is a highly recommended author’s submission service. We act as specialized advisors and industry-specific personal assistants to help creative writers navigate the ins and outs of publishing. Along with strategically targeting submissions to the best-suited markets, we provide professional manuscript preparation, formatting, proofreading, market research, and tracking. We are endorsed by many in the writing community, and our clients include established authors, celebrated poets, tenured professors, editors, and promising new writers.”

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Enjoy that? You can read more from Ronnie at The Cuckleburr Times here.

The following is based on a list of inconveniences and vexations which can be used to define or embellish the story, of which some can be combined. Some of the suggestions will ‘suit’ particular authors, characters and settings more than others. As with herbs and spices in cooking ‘subtle mentions and passing references’ can be more effective with plot devices (including those not mentioned here).

The timing and location of the plot device should be considered - before, during or after the actual story: the effects on the narrator character/group of the inconvenience happening to a character elsewhere etc, even if not made explicit. Should the plot device be explicitly mentioned, or be hinted at to the reader (whether or not obvious to the characters involved), and only evident at the end of the story or on a second reading of the text?

During the course of the story a character:

Becomes drunk/otherwise temporarily suffers from excess and overindulgence and faces the consequences. (This can overlap with getting into ‘unhelpful’ situations, encounters with tabloid journalism, pratfalls and other embarrassing activities.)

Alternatively the character become addicted - drugs, alcohol, sex, food, shopping gambling etc. The ‘drunken hero sobered up for ventures new’ (and it is almost invariably a chap) is a cliché - but what is the backstory or impact? How would the other characters react - make gibes about researching a Celebrity Diet Book, providing support/arranging for ‘a cure’, get further supplies or ‘rescue’ the ‘hero’/Evil Ruler  from the unpleasant situations arising, or would they exploit the situation? What happens if the Evil Ruler, rebel hero or other character goes to XY Anonymous/rehab (and not just ‘meets interesting characters/next group/crime to be resolved)? Variants on the ‘but dear reader it was all an alcoholic/drug induced dream or nightmare’ scenario/cliché should, as in other contexts, normally be avoided.

Gets found with their hands in the till/dating someone thoroughly inappropriate/embarrassing (and cannot “explain it away”). Alternatively the character goes to seed (in whatever way you fancy) or a moral decline (how could this be done with the Evil Ruler?). The hero(ine) may have to make compromises or do things that are not legitimate - but how would this be seen by those around them or the ‘tabloid reading general public’? At what point  would the hero(ine) realise that they have made so many minor compromises that they are acting contrary to their initial belief system/areseen as hypocrites?

The character becomes a more or less unwillingly participant or bystander in a student rag week etc event, an activity that is totally at odds with their official persona, or a minor participant in a sequence of events where  someone else is the dominant figure (rather than combining resources or being the centre of attention). (Whether these activities can be exploited by others will depend upon the plotline.)

Becomes involved with an unsuitable group/cult. (this could be potentially different for the ‘unpleasant ruler’ and the ‘hero of the piece’ and can include fanclub/support for incongruous sports club etc), criminal activity (not being a genius in any field thereof), bookclub/equivalent that cannot be escaped (whether accidental or initiated  up by rivals, rebels and others). Links up with an unsuitable partner (whether or not initially apparent). Alternatively encounters an over-persistent salesperson or spam-merchant.

Becomes part of a doomed conspiracy/reformist group, has to maintain a ‘necessary piece of ancient equipment’/outdated computer with vital information etc, stop the decline in a business/industry/country/other body (and fails). Alternatively the opponents of the evil empire use their ingenuity in technology, economics and other areas to advance their position - while bankrupting the evil empire through its reliance on traditional methods.

Has to train their replacement/watches their replacement take over (not being of an inclination to retire). This can be the Evil Ruler’s equally unpleasant successor, as well as a new rebel hero(ine) - or group - perhaps with a different viewpoint.

Becomes subject of investigative reporter or similar (possibly based in another location where there is no retrieval policy/capacity for legal intervention), disagrees with their biographer etc, has book, artwork or other creation the subject of bad reviewers/general public’s hatchet jobs. The character (including the Evil Overlord) is variously slandered, libelled, insulted, disbelieved or stalked. Alternatively becomes the subject of a curse of the more creative kind, a scam, identity theft or similar (how would this affect the hero/evil overlord/appropriator?).

Gets sacked/made redundant/shipwrecked/stranded/goes bankrupt/gets divorced or separates in unhappy circumstances: how would it affect their personal and public lives?

Runs out of something vital ‘of the usual kind’ at an inconvenient time which dose not involve ‘one and onlyi items at the other end of the planet, galaxy or other  setting . This can include such things as the equivalents of light bulbs and fuses as the local festivities begin.

The character demonstrates seeming ignorance/incompetence in a supposed area of expertise (when not a ploy to divert an opponent’s attention: this can include both Sages and Supposedly Advanced Computers). Alternatively finds their skills have become outmoded (this can range from the expert associated with the hero via the Evil Overlord and associates to the sarky computer).

Encounters minor delays and diversions of the kind normally experienced, gets *very* lost and is unable to make sense of their map, or gets caught in a traffic jam/a city’s overcomplicated one way system (of the sort where ‘if you wish to go *there* you don’t start from *here*). This includes the planned invasion, the scientific genius and the advanced computer. As a result has ‘encounter rage’ or similar. (A variant on the Murphy’s Law that fighting always occurs on the borders between two maps.)

Gets promoted above their capacities. (Both good guys and bad guys.)

The narrator character/hero has to get emergency minor medical treatment/standard medical checks (without recourse to Mary Sue author crossovers or ‘Disaffected Scientists in Voluntary Exile - charitable donations of  goods and objects regularly made.’). Likewise minor practical problems - such as dealing with a leaky tap.

Does something unsuitable to/quarrels with someone important.

Fights a losing battle against middling bureaucracy etc. (Rebel leader in office/Evil Overlord meets Yes Minister’s Sir Humphrey) Or - makes use of such bureaucracy to thwart opponents.

Finds something they own is a fake/actually for a completely different purpose entirely (and not of the ‘we need a gizmo - your paperweight at the back of your cupboard actually is one’ type).

Forced to ‘keep up with the Jones’s/live slightly beyond their means/go in for conspicuous consumption. (This could include the Evil ruler.)

Has a visit to the hairdressers/beauticians etc go disastrously wrong.

Has an event they were going to cancelled/misses an important appointment

Has dreams which are non-predictive, do not solve problems etc (or are, in fact, the reverse), gets. haunted by a non-useful ghost/poltergeist, or is affected by adverse weather conditions

Has to put up with a ‘created colourful reputation’, nickname etc that is not appropriate.

Is the subject of a story which cannot be disapproved - or only at the cost of revealing something worse).

Has an unfortunate encounter with some paint/other substance.

Is the subject of an April Fool’s joke/other practical joke.

Loses a bet/a law case/some baggage/something important

Misinterprets a Valentines Day card/other missive/present (or has such an item misinterpreted or subject to disapproval).

Realises they cannot (or no longer can) make their body live up to their vanity, or runs out of partners, resources etc (particularly the Evil Overlord/Empress).

Someone realises they have taken on the role of their opponent/their absent ruler without wishing to. (This is a cliché, but included)

Suffers a decline in social status.

Suffers from overwork.

Unflattering audio/visual clip (Or contemporary equivalents.), performance on a reality TV or similar show

Wins a booby prize/is given a white elephant (which cannot be passed on).

Characters in context
Acquires or becomes involved with their nightmare job, neighbour, relative, work colleague, house, holiday, business or transport etc. (What this constitutes can be quite different for the Evil Overlord/Empress, the Innocent Bystander and the heroes)

Appears in an undignified manner in the tabloid/‘creative journalism’ newspapers end of the market. (Thus being held up to ridicule, or the present reality rather than the normally used ‘decorative youthful picture’ of XX years ago.)

Has a communication of the ‘press multiple numbers in sequence’ phone-call type (and, on contacting ‘an actual human’ is told they have to try again with a slightly different sequence).

Has a disagreement with the tax/other government department (Evil Overlord/Empress’ palace having to get planning permission retroactively, or the Heritage and Countryside Maintenance (or equivalent) bodies. and refused. (Subverting/getting the sympathy of such bodies might be a suitable game plan for opponents of the existing system, rivals etc. ‘Going by the rules’ which cause inconvenience- especially when the rules have been endorsed by the person against whom they are being applied - can cause far more inconvenience than sniping by subordinates, and rebel activity.)

Has a family member/subordinate do something embarrassing - including an Evil Overlord/Empress (There are regular examples at the present day)..

Has a house/office/other building or possession damaged/destroyed by a natural disaster/accident/criminal activity

Has a minor/major illness or accident (which does not have a ‘suffering beautifully’ phase). This includes visiting dentists, opticians, delays in treatment etc.

Has a pratfall.

Has a piece of equipment for which the instructions are in twenty languages, and the version in the language(s) normally used mangled into near-incomprehensibility. Ditto ‘construct your own furniture pack’ (or similar) where every possible variant of putting together is wrong (and leaves some ‘spare parts’).

Author Bio: Jackie enjoys researching obscure history.

Enjoy that? You can find more of Jackie’s articles at The Cuckleburr Times here.

(This Be My Guest article is by Fauzia Burke, Founder and President of FSB Associates, a Web publicity firm specializing in creating online awareness for books and authors.)

Today’s readers are tech savvy and resourceful. They know how to get the information they need and have higher expectations from publishers and authors. They don’t just expect a book, they expect a community with their book.

I often hear publishers say that there are “very few brands in book publishing.” But to thrive in today’s competitive, niche markets, perhaps brands are exactly what we need. What readers choose to read is personal and an extension of who they are. Shouldn’t their book choices be supported by a publisher, a brand that is invested in their interests?

Many small publishing companies have done an enviable job of branding themselves and building reader communities around their books. Take O’Reilly, TOR and Hay House. You may not read their books, but you know what they publish. Their communities trust them. People who share their point-of-view flock to their lists. These companies publish for a niche community, and are trusted members of their community. They provide extra resources, and often their authors are members of the community itself. TOR has even launched a bookstore to meet their readers’ needs. These publishers show passion for their books and an understanding of their readers, and as such their readers reward them with loyalty.

Publishing books for the community

Besides reader loyalty, publishing for micro communities may have other long-term benefits as well. For example, the focus would help publishers save money on marketing. Marketing through online communities is less expensive and much more powerful than trying to reach the general public and hoping to find the right match. The publisher’s Web site wouldn’t have to cater to a wide variety of people, it would be designed to serve the needs of a small group. Instead of expensive advertising, they could announce the book to the community that has already bought into their brand. Publishers and authors could enlist the support of the community to spread the word (which will always be the most efficient method for marketing books.) The logo on the book spine would mean the readers have a promise that the book is worth reading. The readers would know that the publisher looked at over a thousand manuscripts all on the same topic and is offering them the very best.

So are large, general publishers at a disadvantage with today’s search-empowered, community oriented readers? I think so. General trade publishing is for everyone, yet there is no “everyone” out there.  Readers are part of micro communities. They want good books, and they need publishers who will support their interests and passions.

The bottom line is that publishers and authors need to evolve their marketing and publishing strategies to accommodate for a new kind of reader. A reader whose expectations demand more interaction and community. A reader whose loyalty you can have once you have earned it. A reader who wants more than a 6 week marketing campaign so you can sell a book. This new reader requires an investment of months and years.

Is that too much to expect? Perhaps. But this is your new reader, and she will stay with you if you stay with her.

Stay tuned for Web marketing tips in future weeks, or follow FSB on Twitter to see our results in real time: http://twitter.com/FSBAssociates.


©2009 Fauzia Burke

Fauzia Burke is the Founder and President of FSB Associates, a Web publicity firm specializing in creating online awareness for books and authors. For more information, please visit www.FSBAssociates.com.

Now, what if instead of reaching for pre-packaged munchies, parents everywhere bought snackables in bulk and placed them in their own reusable containers? By god, we’d have a lunchtime revolution! In fact, if every student packed a zero-waste lunch, we’d save 1.2 billion pounds from landfill a year. You’ll also be saving some serious coin (since individually wrapped foods tend to cost more) and coincidentally cutting out many of the not-so-healthy heavily processed ingredients that often come with pre-packaged snacks.

So how do you lighten your lunch load?

• Say goodbye to disposable plastic baggies. Get reusable sandwich-size sacks like Lunch Skins (3greenmoms.com). They’re perfect for, yes, sandwiches, as well as chopped up veggies like carrots, peppers and celery.
• Buy yogurt, dried fruit, snackables like pumpkin seeds or even organic cookies in bulk, then pack them in reusable food containers (just not the kind made of clear, shatterproof polycarbonate plastic since those contain hormone disrupting bisphenol A — the same stuff that made headlines in clear plastic baby bottles).
• Pass on pricey, packaging-heavy drinking boxes and buy juice in large cartons/jugs. Pour a single portion into a polycarbonate-free drink canister like Thermos’ Foogo (keeping in mind that a stainless steel container of tap or home-filtered water is way healthier than a shot of sugary, nutritionally dead boxed OJ).
• Pour last night’s soups and even stews in an insulated thermos for a homemade meal on the go.
• Don’t forget to toss a cloth napkin and, if necessary, washable cutlery into your lunch box.

Keep the lead out of lunchtime
Speaking of lunch boxes, stay away from anything made of vinyl, aka PVC. Back in 2005, California’s Center for Environmental Health filed a lawsuit against some big-name makers of soft PVC lunch cases (including Toys”R”Us, Warner Brothers, DC Comics and Time Warner) after testing revealed that their products contained high levels of lead.

Better to go for all-natural cloth or even nylon.You’ll find a bunch of alternatives online at sites like www.reusablebags.com (think funky organic and recycled cloth bags, stainless steel containers and compartmentalized bento-box-style Laptop Lunch kits).


Move the message school-wide
Once you’ve got the knack of trash-free lunches, why not spread the message throughout your child’s school? Consider forming a zero-waste lunch committee. If you’ve got a keen teacher on your side, you might even get students to kick things off with a garbage audit (think garbology 101). That means measuring how much trash goes in bins before and after lunch hour. The mini researchers can put on rubber gloves and note what kind of disposables are taking up the most room.


Raise cash for trash
Whatever you do, don’t let any disposables that you and other parents might still use end up in landfill. Talk to your kid’s school about saving them up and sending them packin’ to be made into purses and pencil cases! Once you’ve collected a bunch of branded drink pouches, candy/cookie/energy bar wrappers, chip bags and yogurt cups, ship them off to TerraCycle and the upcycling company will give you 2¢ to 5¢ per package for your trouble (terracycle.net). Call it a cash-for-trash fundraiser and you’ll be garbage-free in no time!

©2009 Adria Vasil, author of Ecoholic: Your Guide to the Most Environmentally Friendly Information, Products & Services

Adria Vasil, author of Ecoholic: Your Guide to the Most Environmentally Friendly Information, Products & Services, is a best-selling author and journalist for Canada’s NOW, where she has been writing the “Ecoholic” column for five years. She lives in Toronto.

Watch out for an upcoming interview with Adria right here at the Cuckleburr Times!