The Connected and Committed Leader

noreply@blogger.com (The Connected and Committed Leader) — Tue, 22 May 2012 16:21:00 +0000

Leaders create brand value by focusing on their unique strengths instead of focusing on being like others. http://tinyurl.com/caxv2p6

noreply@blogger.com (The Connected and Committed Leader) — Mon, 21 May 2012 18:36:00 +0000

Leadership can distort, here are 7 sins to avoid.http://tinyurl.com/cgbv754

noreply@blogger.com (The Connected and Committed Leader) — Sat, 21 Apr 2012 16:16:00 +0000

Research by Jack Zenger calls for more women leaders in the C-suite. http://tinyurl.com/brofblt

noreply@blogger.com (The Connected and Committed Leader) — Sat, 21 Apr 2012 16:14:00 +0000

Research shows women excel at leadership. http://ping.fm/tl3nZ

noreply@blogger.com (The Connected and Committed Leader) — Tue, 10 Apr 2012 19:04:00 +0000

Gender diverse leadership drives bottom line, but where are the women leaders? Help make the difference.http://tinyurl.com/d2hlruc

noreply@blogger.com (The Connected and Committed Leader) — Mon, 09 Apr 2012 16:04:00 +0000

Command and control creates obedient workers; effective leadership creates independent and creative workers! http://tinyurl.com/7adaf9a

noreply@blogger.com (The Connected and Committed Leader) — Mon, 09 Apr 2012 15:59:00 +0000

Charlotte Beers offers some great leadership lessons; especially when it comes to keeping your own score card http://tinyurl.com/7e7l9t3

noreply@blogger.com (The Connected and Committed Leader) — Tue, 27 Mar 2012 21:35:00 +0000

Research shows that leadership talent is in short supply. More reason to hone your skills. http://tinyurl.com/79ztdzk

noreply@blogger.com (The Connected and Committed Leader) — Tue, 27 Mar 2012 21:15:00 +0000

Volunteering stretches your leadership skills because you can't rely on the big stick or stand behind your title http://tinyurl.com/d3jmzn8

noreply@blogger.com (The Connected and Committed Leader) — Fri, 23 Mar 2012 19:01:00 +0000

When I choose happiness, I just feel better and when i feel better, things are more apt to go my way! http://tinyurl.com/77bsj28

noreply@blogger.com (The Connected and Committed Leader) — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 18:15:00 +0000

Great research findings to support the advancement of women leaders! http://tinyurl.com/76vj5rj

noreply@blogger.com (The Connected and Committed Leader) — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 15:46:00 +0000

Leaders need to do difficult things, like firing people. But it can be done with dignity and respect. http://tinyurl.com/7lz74e3

noreply@blogger.com (The Connected and Committed Leader) — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 15:41:00 +0000

Connection! Peter Guber advocates moving from state-of-the-art technology to state-of-the-heart technology. http://tinyurl.com/7u2fhel

Do you need to loosen your grip

noreply@blogger.com (The Connected and Committed Leader) — Wed, 29 Feb 2012 16:17:00 +0000

We are in the process of selling our home.

It has been our home for 10 years; where Lewis and I began our lives together. It is where we brought our little Leila home after our tedious and long journey to Russia. It is where she learned to walk as she scampered from window to window watching Lewis come home. It is also where we had innumerable get-togethers with aging parents and dear friends. And finally, it is where I poured my love of beauty as I shaped and massaged its walls and floors to showcase art, furniture and worldly treasures.

And so, even as we move just 5 short blocks down the street, dealing with impending change can either root you to the same spot, keeping you stuck, or send you into an emotional tailspin of fear and anxiety.

I have been on both sides of that coin. Sometimes even on the same day.

This journey to take that final step of severing ties with this wonderful home has reminded me of how it felt after 15 years of service when I left my former employer to venture out on my own. It is clear that all too often our grips are tight. Sometimes too tight. Whether it be on a job we have, the place we live, the position we hold, or the project we lead.

We hold on with white-knuckled strength, often to the detriment of ourselves and to longer term opportunities. When our grip is tight our focus is on the past and on maintaining the status quo, making it difficult to see and create a better future.

Jim Collins has written a new book titled "Great by Choice." In this book, he has studied leaders who have led and succeeded during these chaotic, ever-changing and difficult times. He compares them to leaders who were subject to the same external conditions and yet, didn't succeed. This comparison allows him to determine the critical factors that really differentiate those successful leaders.

You may think that his findings concluded that the successful leaders were more bold, risk-takers who were more likely to take leaps into the unknown than those who were not successful.

But he discovered the opposite was true.

Those leaders who succeeded, despite changing circumstances, were able to observe what worked, figured out why things worked as they did and built upon proven ways going forward. In essence, they were more pragmatic and disciplined in their approach. They minimized reacting emotionally to the impending changes around them; not blindly following others or just reacting mindlessly.

You could say they distanced themselves from the emotional hold of the past or the emotional fear of the unknown. They only looked back to get the lessons learned in order to help craft the future on a similar foundation.

So as I take this journey, and you take similar journeys filled with change remember these key points:
You are the constant in a sea of change. All of the elements that make a house a home are all coming along with me. Just like when one leaves one company to start a new venture somewhere else, you take with you all of the elements that can make this new role a career.
Recognize that a tight grip is usually based on fear. Fear of not being able to create in the future what you have already created in the past. Take the time to understand what worked in the past and why it worked. Build a similar foundation in the future to apply this approach adjusting accordingly to changing needs and conditions.
Be pliable and flexible. Grips are not flexible, they are rigid. When you feel the tightening of your attitude, and the gripping of your outlook, remember that part of the journey is to see that more can be gained with openness than with a closed mindset.
I have never been one to be able to just leap...hoping that a net would miraculously appear. So I have been thrilled to learn that those who do succeed in the face of extreme change do in fact leap into the unknown, but they succeed not because they leap but because they have also taken the time to carefully craft their net.

Thank you, Jim Collins. I am loosening my grip and am busy crafting my net.

What about you?

Do you know your value?

noreply@blogger.com (The Connected and Committed Leader) — Tue, 28 Feb 2012 17:23:00 +0000

Garage sales are generally not a good business idea, unless you're that person getting things on the cheap and putting them up on ebay for ten times the price.

And yet, we held a garage sale a couple of weekends ago.

They're a lot of work for little return. Making $200 for two 10 hour days of work is just a bit above minimum wage...but not when there were two of us working!

But somehow working this hard has a psychological benefit of getting rid of things that you have held on to past the point you should have. Things that no longer hold any value to you.

Then there is another non-financial value of seeing people light up when they find something they want or need at a great price! It adds value to where there may not have been any.

The whole experience certainly made me think about value and pricing, especially when I was exhausted, cold and just wondering why we were doing this.

You see, whether you are looking for a job, seeking a promotion or pricing your services to a customer as an entrepreneur, how you price yourself for the value you provide is always a tricky and complicated matter. Especially if all you are thinking about is the price instead of value.

My daughter reminded me of this when after the garage sale was finished I asked her how she enjoyed it. She said that she didn't.

When I asked her why, she went on to say that she didn't feel like she had done any important work since no shopper had given her any attention by asking for a price or for any help. She felt passed over and unimportant. Then she went on to say, "and I would have had to ask you anyway, so what would be the point?"

My response surprised her.

I said, "First, if you had told people that you were there to help, they probably would have asked you some questions. Secondly, if you did go and find me to find the answer they were looking for, then they would have had more time to shop. You would be doing something for them that they now didn't have to do themselves. That would have been very helpful"

What I described to her was how to create value.

Finding the value that you offer allows you to price yourself effectively.

Unfortunately, people often first think about price, without fully understanding their value proposition. Pricing yourself without fully understanding the value you create can lead you to give away too much or to overprice yourself out of an opportunity.

When marketing your services to an employer or a customer, you can't disregard price as part of your overall brand, since a brand is based on an economic exchange, but you always need to put it into the context of the value you are creating for your target market.

For my daughter, understanding that people who are shopping at a garage sale prefer looking and digging vs. constantly asking for prices can create an opportunity for her to deliver against. Finding a place in which to add value.

This could have provided her with the important work she was looking for... even if she wasn't yet naming her price!

So, will I do another garage sale? Probably.

Why?

Because value is more than just a price paid or in this case the money earned for the time spent. For me, there was enough non-monetary value created to offset working for less than minimum wage.

Especially since it provided a meaningful teaching moment for my daughter!

So, what about you? Do you know your value?

Find the ways that you create value both financially and non-monetarily to get a better understanding of your true value and it won't be such a tricky and complicated manner determining your price.

Is your Life's Work Disguised as Anger?

noreply@blogger.com (The Connected and Committed Leader) — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 22:33:00 +0000

As a business coach, I have the good fortune of helping others tap into their purpose and passion. In doing so, their work becomes more than just a paycheck; it becomes their life's work.

When you tap into your life's work, you are living your brand. Your brand is a unique expression and cannot be replicated by anyone else. It provides you long term fulfillment and success.

Recently we hosted a "Texas Women who Rock" event in Houston. I am one of the founding members of this wonderful organization that was created to empower professional women in all aspects of their lives. We had several guest speakers, all of which were successful professional women who had demonstrated resilience in the face of adversity.

Each of them shared stories where anger played some critical role in mobilizing them to find a solution. Through their anger and discontentment, they found their creativity, calling, purpose and passion they were able to channel into their life's work. Here's a snapshot of their stories:
Sherry Eichberger lost two close, young friends to cancer and was angered to learn that many products in our daily lives are toxic and can contribute to illnesses like cancer. Her solution was to open One Green Street, a "one stop shop" where people can shop for green, non-toxic gifts and products. Today, Sherry's life work and brand helps people live healthier lives.

Minerva Perez, a long time anchor on major television stations, was frustrated and angered by the fact that she wasn't seeing Latin Women have a voice on shows like The View, despite the growing numbers of latina viewership. When she left ABC, her solution was to form her own television show "Latina Voices. Smart Talk." which is now in the midst of rapid expansion and growth. Today Minerva's life work and brand is giving voice to thousands of Latina Women.

Cindy Cline-Flores lost her older sister to suicide. She felt a full range of emotions dealing with this tragedy, but she also felt discontentment that her sister had lost hope. She found solace and healing by writing a book titled "Always Hope" which features 25 people who have suffered equally difficult situations yet persevered. Today Cindy's life work and brand is to bring hope to those suffering from difficulty and adversity.
In hearing these stories, I was reminded that my own journey was very similar.

As a long-time, corporate employee who had risen into the ranks of leadership, I saw and was subject to many injustices. Through my more than 20 years experience, I saw a lack of leadership, undue fairness and breaches of integrity. I was bothered and angered by it.

I was so angry at times that I couldn't see straight. I was blinded by it and at times this anger even caused me to unproductively lash out.

One day I realized holding onto this anger didn't serve me. The anger also diminished my ability to make a difference and add value to my organization and company. I needed to find a solution. And I did.

When I left Corporate America, I wrote a book about leadership because this is where I found the source of my anger. In doing so, I found my true passion, purpose and brand. Today my life's work and brand is about helping others become better leaders in their lives.

People often wonder how I successfully made the shift from Marketing Executive to Leadership Development Coach, Trainer and Speaker. My simple answer is that my life's work and brand was disguised as anger.

I believe that this was also the case for Sherry, Minerva and Cindy.

Finding your life's work and your brand may not require you to completely change your course either. You may be able to find it right there in your company or in your business by making a few simple changes and adjustments.

So next time you find yourself red with fury, don't push it aside and dismiss it. Instead embrace it and dive deep into it. It's the unlikely place where you can find your creativity, calling, passion and purpose.

Find it. Express it. Live it. It is the source of your life's work and brand.

And you may never call it "work" again.

Self view

noreply@blogger.com (The Connected and Committed Leader) — Tue, 04 Oct 2011 16:30:00 +0000

Many leaders have an inflated sense of self.

In fact, 62% of people indicate that others see them as above average leaders. Yikes! That math just isn't right. As leaders, what we need is the ability to garner feedback instead of thinking that we are all well above average.

I used to think that about myself, and boy was I wrong!

As a leadership development coach, it seems like the people that are asked to work with me are those that can't and don't want to hear that they are far from "above average." But there is a fundamental difference between intention and reality.

Usually in self-assessments, we are thinking about our intentions. And when it comes to our intentions, many of us are above average. Many people intend to be great leaders. But we often fail even when we have the best intentions. This is where the breakdown occurs.

Ironically, we can't ever fulfill on our best intentions unless we start taking in the feedback of how others are perceiving us. So if you do rate yourself as an "above average" leader, consider getting some direct feedback from others.

It will help you reconcile the difference between your intention and the reality of how you are performing as a leader.

Do you accept what others are saying?

noreply@blogger.com (The Connected and Committed Leader) — Mon, 03 Oct 2011 16:34:00 +0000

I enjoy reading a variety of leadership and business books. On one of my recent business trips, I found myself strolling through an airport bookstore and stumbled upon Tina Fey's book "Bossypants."

I was immediately intrigued by the title "Bossypants" and because it is an autobiography, it sounded like it might be about her admittance to not being the best of bosses.

Once it captured my attention, I looked at the cover more closely and there she was, Tina Fey, posed on the cover with hairy, man arms. Why? Was this image somehow tied to her message of being a bossypants? Or was it simply a comedic statement? I decided that it was probably the latter, yet despite my intrigue, I refrained from purchasing it right there on the spot because it seemed so silly.

It wasn't until I got my Kindle, that I reconsidered purchasing it. I guess that image of Tina Fey with hairy, man arms bothered me more than I thought. Having an electronic reader allowed me to read it without having to look at that cover each time I picked it up. I did learn a lot about the business of comedy (probably more than I really wanted to) but more importantly I learned an interesting leadership lesson

The lesson I learned was the power of YES; not as a response to a question, but as an attitude.

Now that may not seem very groundbreaking.
It's not until you realize how little YES we have when leading others that you really start to see the power of YES as an attitude.

This idea was presented in the book when Fey was explaining how comedians engage in improvisation; the rules of the game, so to speak.

If you have ever watched an improv show, it is clear that those leading the show aren't planning how or where the dialogue is going. In fact, as a participant in improv you have no way to control, direct or be responsible for what anybody says to you or how they even respond to you. You only have the ability and the role to listen and react to what is being said.

Sounds a bit like real life, doesn't it?

Ideally, yes. But in environments where authority is at play (parenting and leading) we mistakenly believe that we can control, direct or be responsible for the words and reactions of others. In reality, we can't. Like in improv, we can still only react accordingly to what is said. We own our own words and reactions, not the words or reactions of others.

In this context, A YES attitude isn't about positive thinking, or positive re-framing, it is simply about accepting what the person has said to you, not arguing with them, or trying to change it, or determine how or why they said it, but simply hearing and accepting that it was said and building on it from there

Think for a moment how little we see this really at play in the business world, or perhaps even in your home life with kids, a spouse or partner.

It is a difficult leadership lesson and one that I admit I still struggle with.

When guiding and developing people, I always thought that if they could only watch me, learn from me and observe me, they would ultimately see "how it was to be done." However, the problem with this line of thinking is that they aren't me and I am not them. It's based on a fundamental flaw that I can actually direct, control and teach others to react exactly as I would react. Nothing is further from the truth.

Unfortunately, leaders do this all the time with their associates and parents do this all of the time with their kids. In trying to control, direct or teach others to react and say things as you would, you aren't listening or accepting what they are saying. You diminish not enhance, their ability to think and act on their own feet. You also negate their involvement and demotivate them from participating in the future.

Having a YES attitude doesn't mean that you have to agree with their perspective, but it does mean that you must listen and accept their idea and allow it to be.

Using the power of YES as an attitude allows for innovative communication and exchange while pushing back accountability and responsibility to the other person.
Accepting the words of others and reacting to them accordingly ultimately engages and develops others to a whole new level.

After all, isn't this the ultimate role of a leader?

Tina Fey as a comedian was definitely schooled in using YES as an attitude. However, did she transfer this skill into her leadership roles? Maybe not as much as she could, because if she had, she wouldn't have been as much of a bossypants, would she?

Then maybe she wouldn't have had hairy, man arms on the cover either.

So what about you? Are you accepting what others are saying?

Is your nemesis part of your solution?

noreply@blogger.com (The Connected and Committed Leader) — Thu, 25 Aug 2011 15:34:00 +0000

I have always been a supporter of diversity, both professionally and personally.

Since an early age, my friends have always come from a wide variety of backgrounds, cultures and interests. Often, the only common ground across my varied groups of friends was the fact that they were friends with me.

When I went off to college, I rejected the idea of joining a sorority, despite its philanthropic fundraising efforts and its central role in social life on campus. I felt at that time that any group that had to judge its members prior to being included was not a place I wanted to be. Despite these feelings, I never held it against anybody if they choose to be a part of it. In fact, I had many friends who were actively engaged in a variety of sororities and fraternities.

But, cliques have never been my thing.

I have struggled with the fact that cliques are commonplace in most social structures, especially in the workplace. An unfortunate result of the fundamental human need to belong is the formation of cliques. The intent is not mal-intended, but the result can be detrimental You have the exempt/non-exempt clique. The execultive/non-executive clique. The Manager/non-Manager clique. The Company lifers/ newbies clique. The women/men clique. The Hispanic/non-Hispanic clique. The line job/support job function clique. And the list goes on.

The thing I hate most about cliques is that by mere definition of a clique; you are either in or out. Cliques foster exclusivity and exclusivity always limits progress and productivity.

I was reminded by this on my recent trip to South Africa.
I wasn't particularly attuned to all of the history and details about Apartheid prior to my visit, but being immersed in a post-Apartheid South Africa, it became clear to me that this country is progressing and healing simply because Nelson Mandela saw that the solution required changing the country's clique mentality.

You see no matter what side of the clique you are on, a clique mentality always perpetuates the clique by maintaining the judgments and blame towards the other side.

Mandela saw that it was futile (and common) to perpetuate the clique by blaming the other side. He saw that the other side of the clique ( ie: the white people of South Africa) had to be part of the solution.

Too often, I see the same dynamic at play in the workforce. Cliques continue to exist and don't progress forward because each side keeps the other at bay and in blame of the problem. Women blame men for their career advancement problems. Hispanics blame non-Hispanics for their career problems. Exempts blame non-exempts. And the list goes on.

However, the fact is that your nemesis (the other side of your clique) needs to be part of your solution. Your nemesis must become your ally for the situation to change. Great leaders like Nelson Mandela and Dr. Martin Luther King understood this very well.

Much of my work today supports women entrepreneurs and corporate executives to become more effective leaders. This work can lead to having women-targeted workshops, meetings and events. Many men colleagues and men friends have often given me a hard time about that, feeling that these activities exclude them and other men.

But, this isn't true.

From the inception of many of these seemingly "exclusive groups" there is a fundamental belief that sponsors and members are needed from the other side of the clique to help solve the problems being faced. Perhaps even sororities and fraternities operate under this same premise today. Many men are on my list and many are included on the invitation to attend these events because they can be women's best advocates and are in fact, an essential part of the solution.

So what about you? Can you lead your situation to a better place by making your nemesis an ally and becoming part of your solution?

Are you a good follower?

noreply@blogger.com (The Connected and Committed Leader) — Thu, 04 Aug 2011 19:44:00 +0000

As far back as I can remember, I was a fairly intense, passionate and determined person.

I remember my equally intense, passionate and determined brother telling me "take a chill pill, Laura." I assure you that coming from him, it was the kettle calling the pot black.

But, looking back, he was right, I did need to chill. I was actually more intense than him, if that was at all possible.

I didn't realize that my intensity had a lot to do with my strong desire to tackle challenges and succeed; wanting to drive things, all things, forward to where and how I wanted them.

After all, I liked getting results and I thought I knew what it took to get them.

My competitive intensity poured into my life on all fronts; academics, work, sports and travel. You could say that what charged me up more than anything was conquering life single-handedly, or at least trying to.

I was a full-fledged, self reliant, steam rolling woman on a mission to get results.Growing up in the '60's and '70's I had internalized a strong feminist message that I didn't really need anybody in order to succeed.

I believed that self-reliance was the key component to success. I saw that needing others or relying on others was considered a sign of weakness.

Being a follower was a dirty word.

When I entered the workforce, there were many bosses whose jobs I aspired to have. I always wanted to be in their shoes. I didn't want to follow them, I wanted to be them. I wanted to be the boss and to "lead."

"Lead, follow or get out of the way" for me was "Follow me and get out of the way". I was fortunate to have many bosses that did give me the freedom to excel and flourish. I think they understood the value in doing so especially because they saw me as a "go-getter".

Thank goodness for me and for them that they were effective leaders and didn't try to stand in my way or micro-manage me. And so I blossomed and grew into having more and more responsibility.

But as I gained more leadership responsibility, I started to see that the way I had excelled in the past wasn't getting me the results I needed in the future. That self-reliance at all costs, worked in the short run, but then it got in my way as it began to demotivate others around me. It became a liability.

Since I hadn't learned how to be a good follower, I was being hampered at becoming an effective leader.

But then I remembered an important lesson I had learned (and forgotten) about the importance of following others.

I drew back on my High School Field Hockey days and remembered my coach saying "when the team captain calls the play, you all must follow through. The team won't win if you all don't follow her lead."

You see the lesson about being a good follower is a lot like being a good leader, it doesn't really matter who scores the goal.

My coach got that. My bosses got that.

What matters most is the end result.

After all, being a leader and being a follower are two sides of the same coin. Sometimes you lead by following. And sometime you follow by leading.

You can't do one effectively without understanding the other. So, next time you think that being a follower is a dirty word, think again.

How well are you following?

Is Losing Yourself Necessary for Leadership?

noreply@blogger.com (The Connected and Committed Leader) — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 21:13:00 +0000

I grew up in a tight, European household.

We were a total of 7 living under one roof which included my maternal grandparents. I was taught many of the "old world" values where the collective needs always came before the individual. I was taught that a family was not a summation of individuals, but rather an entity unto itself. Boundaries were never clear between "me" and "we".

You could say that I started life without a real clear sense of myself, because it was intertwined with the needs and expectations of my family and my extended communal "colony" comprised of 50 other families who emigrated together from Spain.

My internal household reality was at odds with the external world where I spent my childhood on Long Island, NY during the '60s and '70s. Our country was built on an individualistic spirit; one where we were taught the importance of following your own passions, purpose and dreams. A place where every person can "do anything you set your sights on." A place where our founding fathers dreamt every individual could flourish.

My family upbringing caused a conflict and struggle in me relative to my outside world where individualism was the order of the day. That struggle continued well into my adult life, particularly in my working life where I came face-to-face with the leadership challenges of the seemingly-at-odd priorities of "we vs. me."

It is no surprise that when I came across two articles recently, that I had a strong reaction to their messages. The first one was an article by Bill Taylor "We is bigger than me" where he states "the true measure of success is not the value you create for yourself but the values that define your work and how you lead and live."

I happen to agree with his statement. To lead your life effectively, you can't be completely self-centered. You need to see the broader impact beyond yourself.

However, Taylor goes on to say that "This is the age of the maverick, the startup, and, dare I say it, as the cofounder of Fast Company, "The Brand Called You." That is why it's so easy to focus on the magazine covers, the IPO wealth, the personal narratives." What Taylor is missing here is that some of this rugged individualism is required to ultimately connect with the "We" which in this case is a target audience. Achieving a brand called YOU, means that you have understood the intersection of your brilliance and core strengths with the needs of your target to deliver on their needs.

Achieving a Brand called YOU is the ultimate challenge of melding the needs of "we and me", which requires you to step outside of yourself to deliver on the needs of others. This is the work of a business leader.

The second article by David Brooks "It's not about you" (which Taylor references in his article) reinforces the idea that as leaders we need to "lose ourselves", in other words putting others or the task at hand ahead of ourselves. His message was directed to new graduates, as they step into this world, as newly minted leaders of their lives and careers. Here are some of his words:

"...many graduates are told to: Follow your passion, chart your own course, march to the beat of your own drummer, follow your dreams and find yourself. This is the litany of expressive individualism, which is still the dominant note in American culture. But, of course, this mantra misleads on nearly every front.

...Today's grads enter a cultural climate that preaches the self as the center of a life. But, of course, as they age, they'll discover that the tasks of a life are at the center." He concludes his article by saying "The purpose of life is not to find oneself. It is to lose oneself."

While I agree that leadership is a maturation process and that we ultimately do want to lose ourselves to the tasks of life and the needs of others, what Brooks misses here is that losing ourselves can only happen once we have a strong foundation of self.

This profound insight represents one of leadership's counter intuitive truths: In order to lose oneself completely, one has to know oneself completely.

I have seen this in my own personal journey.

The tension I felt between "we and me" can best be described with a continuum. At one extreme end of the continuum there is self-lessness where the "we" rules at the expense of the "me." We can see this in repressed societies around the globe. It is also where many women in our own society can migrate when they feel the relentless expectations to care for others at the expense of their own needs and desires.

On the other extreme of the spectrum is where I believe Taylor and Brooks are advocating "losing oneself" to an area that I call self-interest. A self-interested person has a good sense of themselves and is not threatened easily by others. They are compassionate of others but they can't be walked over either. They are driven by a greater purpose, something bigger than themselves.

Having a healthy self-interest is critical to effective leadership.

In the center of the spectrum is where unfortunately, many people reside and where leadership cannot flourish. Self-centeredness. As infants we start here, after all we enter this world with a need to survive and self-centeredness is essential for survival. However, as adults we need to move beyond self-centeredness. When someone is overly self-centered, they usually don't have a good sense of themselves, they are struggling to know their place and role in life and are easily threatened by others.

Self-centeredness is about self preservation and hanging on to the status quo while fighting heavily to maintain it.
Our individual and collective journeys are to move from self-lessness and self-centeredness areas of the spectrum to develop into healthy self-interest. So, is losing oneself necessary to get there? Yes, but certainly not at the expense of eradicating "me" altogether.

To that point, I would change Brooks' words to say that "The purpose of life is not to find oneself. It is to find oneself then give it away."

Leadership a la Gaga

noreply@blogger.com (The Connected and Committed Leader) — Tue, 07 Jun 2011 21:45:00 +0000

Now I have heard it all.

The Economist recently ran an article "The angel and the monster" that drew similarities and differences between Mother Theresa and Lady Gaga.

They went on to state that there are some leadership lessons to be gleaned from Lady Gaga's success. They boiled it down to the fact that she knows her brand and has found a compelling emotional connection point with her target.

Last time I checked, this has more to do with branding than in does leadership "projection" or charisma.

We obviously are struggling for direction in leadership these days, as a recent article in HBS "Why Leaders lose their way" reminds us of the many recent examples of fallen leaders:

-Hewlett-Packard CEO Mark Hurd resigned for submitting false expense reports concerning his relationship with a contractor.
-US Senator John Ensign (R-NV) resigned after covering up an extramarital affair with monetary payoffs.
-Lee B. Farkas, former chairman of giant mortgage lender Taylor, Bean & Whitaker, in April was found guilty for his role in one of the largest bank fraud schemes in American history

Not to mention Senator John Edwards.

Maybe they tried a little leadership a la Gaga!

All kidding aside, the lessons to be learned here from either Lady Gaga or Mother Theresa is one of conviction and passion. And more importantly having the courage and vulnerability to put it out there. They are so aligned with their passion, they epitomize "what you see see is what you get."

Yet, as we have seen with many of these fallen leaders, they are not who they say they are. They are cowards hiding behind false words. They are far from being vulnerable with their own convictions and passions.

When leaders have conviction and passion, others will follow. But don't waste your time emulating Lady Gaga, or trying to break down the elements of her unique "leadership projection." This is not something that can be copied.

Spend more time uncovering your own conviction and passion based on your own personal journey. Once you find it, then you have to have the courage and vulnerability to put it out there.

This kind of leadership is frightening and not for the faint-of-heart.

Whether you like Lady Gaga's aesthetic or not, what she does have is the ability to be vulnerable and courageous to put her passion and conviction on the line and that's what people connect to. There is no confusion about her message.

I respect that about her.

Do you have leadership presence?

noreply@blogger.com (The Connected and Committed Leader) — Fri, 27 May 2011 17:01:00 +0000

Jim Collins challenged the notion of leadership presence when he defined a level 5 leader as "one who builds enduring greatness through a paradoxical blend of personal humility and professional will."

He rattled our traditional belief that effective leaders must have a charismatic, extroverted and take-charge confident presence. In fact, Collins went on to discover that a common thread of these high-achieving level 5 leaders was that they contained a "compelling modesty."

This modesty is described with words like quiet, humble, reserved, shy, gracious, mild-mannered, self-effacing and understated.

These are not attributes we normally associate with leadership presence; in fact, we often think of attributes that are antonyms to these words. And yet, according to Collins, these attributes are the makings of great leaders.

Yet most of us continue to mistakenly believe that having leadership presence is like playing a role in a play, requiring an elaborate costume and a personality change. As if we need to be on center stage, in the spotlight, with all eyes and attention upon us, in order to have the presence of a leader.

Nothing could be further from the truth when it comes to developing your leadership presence.

I was reminded of this a few weeks ago when I was addressing the professional women at my former employer, The Coca-Cola Company. Another speaker, a current executive at the company, was talking about the issue of work/life balance and she said an important thing related to leadership presence. She said "it isn't about balance, it is more about presence. When you are at home, you must be present with your children and family, not feeling guilty about work obligations. When you are at work, you must be present and be at work fully; not feeling like you should be tending to family concerns."

You see, when you are going through the motions and are somewhere else mentally and emotionally, you can unwillingly communicate arrogance which does not allow you to connect with others as a leader, nor will you be perceived by others as a leader.

The "presence" she talked about was about being in the moment and available to the people with whom you are leading, at home or at work. When you achieve this level of presence, you exude humility. It is also from this place of presence that you develop trust with others and the ability to connect.

With presence, you are also in a grounded state allowing you to meet the challenges as they arise, rather than being out of step with those around you. You meet people where they are.

While many types of people struggle to develop this "presence", ironically, I have found that people who exhibit traditional leadership presence attributes like charisma, extroversion and take-charge confidence, are usually the ones who are most challenged with being in the moment. Present company clearly included in this observation.

So, if you are like me, your tendency might be to always be three steps ahead of yourself and especially ahead of others. This poses a challenge for you to be in the moment to effectively develop leadership presence, as it did for me. As a result, you might be inclined to go at it alone, rather than bringing others along with you, simply because you aren't in the moment and you are in a different place than they are.

If you find yourself in this camp, remind yourself that getting to the end of a problem in record speed doesn't always provide the best solution. Plus, if you get there alone, it often will take more time and effort to go back to get others on board, than if you had gotten them with you from the start. Been there, done that, and certainly have the t-shirt on this one.

All kidding aside, as I have personally worked these past several years at gaining more "presence" for being in the moment and in essence growing my humility, it is the one thing that I attribute to my continued and growing success.

It can be for you too.

Using the play as an analogy for the business stage where leadership presence unfolds and you are either in that role of the leader, or aspiring to be, here are a few tips to keep in mind about developing your "presence" for leadership.

1. Lose the costume and personality change. Above all else, bring the best of you.
2. Resist the temptation to move towards the center of the stage where the spotlight is the brightest.
3. Be in the moment to bring calmness and a grounded, quiet confidence.
4. Refrain from taking too much attention; shine the light on others whenever possible.
5. Get comfortable with silence and looking to others for answers, especially when all eyes are upon you.

Are you pursuing your definition of success?

noreply@blogger.com (The Connected and Committed Leader) — Tue, 17 May 2011 13:52:00 +0000

Since leaving Corporate America and becoming a speaker and a leadership coach I have addressed and worked with thousands of business professionals from all walks of life; from corporate executives, entrepreneurs, working moms, small business leaders, mompreneurs, MBA students and even recent grads.

But many of them often have the same question for me: "How did you do it?"

My answer usually is "Do what?"

And the response to that question is usually met with a dear-in-the-headlights look.

All kidding aside, I am often baffled by the use of the proverbial "it" they are referring to. "It" defines everything and yet nothing. While "It "usually refers to some measure of success or accomplishment, it's important that "it" be clearly defined, and most importantly defined by you.

But this rarely happens.

Most of the time, we are in pursuit of an "it" defined by a collective, societal view of success, not our own.

Also, part of this collective view of success is that we are at the mercy of others deeming whether or not we can have "it". As a result, I often hear people use the proverbial "they"... especially when "it" isn't happening. Generally, "they" are the ones accused of blocking their way, the ones keeping them from accomplishing "it". "They" could be a spouse, a boss, a company, a customer or even a parent.

There was a point in my career when I stalled out. I didn't get an important promotion and as a result I felt like I had taken a huge step backwards. I felt this way because, in the definition of success I was pursuing, the only way to move forward and to be of any value is to get that next promotion. So, at that point, there were many "they" that I was blaming.

When I hit that roadblock along my climb, I didn't recede; I just continued to push harder and harder still.

Sometimes the persistent push works and you make it up the next rung and then the next. But sometimes it doesn't. And you try again and again and yet again, growing more resentful with each push that results with no movement.

In fact, you can become so blinded at this moment that you can only see that next rung on the ladder in front of you. You can't even see that this ladder is no longer taking you to where you want to be. And so you hold onto each step as if it is the only one left; as if there are no other steps possible.

Many of my coaching clients that have come to work with me often have "get promoted" as their top objective. Over time, some learn that this objective is not really what they seek; it is just the only result they know because they are so gripped with fear for stepping outside of that common definition of success.

You see, our fear keeps us pursuing this common definition of success and makes us believe that someone can actually knock you down from that ladder and take those steps away from you forever.

But they can't.

No one can knock you off that ladder. No one can take away those steps you have laid so carefully before you to get you to where you are today.

Those steps you have accomplished are yours to keep. They are yours to take with you and to build new steps upon them, to create a new ladder.

A ladder that takes you to your newly defined "it", your definition of success.

And guess what? In your newly created definition for success, there is no one else to blame, no one else standing in your way, except yourself.

When you create your own definition of success you relinquish the blame you place on others because you have taken the first step of accountability towards creating your success by defining it.

We rarely take the opportunity to ask these questions:

Is the definition of success you are pursuing worth changing?
Does your definition of success need to be redefined?
Should you be climbing a different ladder to get there?
Can you make a bigger ripple, a bigger impact with an entirely different ladder?
For me the answer was a resounding "Yes."

So, what about you, what's your definition of success and is the ladder you are on taking you there?

Facebook is a Marketing Tool

noreply@blogger.com (The Connected and Committed Leader) — Fri, 08 Apr 2011 22:11:00 +0000

There is a difference between Marketing and Sales. And in Marketing, we learn that it is critical to match your message with the medium. Facebook is a Marketing medium, not a Sales tool.

Companies and brands need to understand how to strategically use Facebook and how it can work as a brand builder, not necessarily as a short-term sales generator.

This is why the recent study conducted by Forrester Research and reported on Yahoo News today, in my opinion, doesn't ask the right question.

They reported that Facebook has not driven sales or sales conversion for several retailers. I don't find that surprising.

Not all marketing vehicles are expected to drive immediate sales, that is why marketers use a mix of tools. Any platform that can generate a relationship with a consumer (500 million on Facebook) is an important tool because brands are built on a solid relationship which can ultimately equate to a strong brand equity. The social platform isn't intended to "ask for an order," in fact when brands do that, they fail. This platform is about deepening relationships and trust, so that when you ask for the order elsewhere with another tool, consumers are apt to buy your brand.

So if you are using Facebook to ask for an order, think again. Your brand may start to feel like your a pesty friend asking you to buy something when all you want to do is talk and get to know each other better.