The Church of Keith Jackson

An Open Letter to College Quarterbacks Returning to School

Andrew Webster — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 17:55:00 GMT

Dear QBs coming back to school,

My name is Andrew Webster and I head the Church of Keith Jackson, a humble yet informed college football blog. I did not play collegiate football (thanks Dalhousie) and certainly never played quarterback. While I cannot relate to you on that level I feel that I have grown to know a number of you over the past few years. Being your elder, I feel that my seasoned knowledge may help you in life, hopefully (boomer) sooner than later.

See, I spent all four years in university. It was great. I loved it. I got every ounce out of college life as I possibly could. I know that you guys want to do the same, probably more seeing how you are the starting quarterback at your respective school. You guys must see more poon tang than Barry White. But all of you are making a HUGE mistake. Timmy, Sammy and Colty you guys are going to get screwed in the long run, and not in a good way.

You see being the starting quarterback at a major college football program is a sweet deal. Influence on campus, unadulterated worship (in the case of Tim Tebow; holy worship) and, most importantly, poon over the moon. Co-eds lined up son. A take your pick, buffet style, pick and pop, army of tanned legs and hungry eyes. Let's face it, why else become a quarterback? So you can have some 350 lb. defensive lineman give you a spinal contusion?

BUT, there is something out there that is a far greater aphrodisiac than the varsity letter on your jacket gentlemen, and that is the cold cash money; the greatest of all panty droppers (even better than gin!). Stay with me here, I know you guys only have three years of school so I'll try and keep this on your level. Look at these guys:

I mean look at these dudes, all frat boys at heart, maybe not the greatest looking bros on the planet BUT they're bringing in the goods. And why? You ask yourself. Because of the money. I mean really, do you think the ladies of the night would be going after Benny Roethlisberger if the guy was still getting student loans and calling home to mom for a little more cash for "books?" Hell no. Sure they may all be quarterbacks and Ben did win the Super Bowl but you never know when injury, or some other tragedy, might strike. This is a dog eat dog world and the life of an injured college quarterback who never makes the pros because of a blown-out knee never seems to be that fun (from what the movies tell me).

So Timmy, Sammy and Colty I'm sure what you have done for your schools is respected on campus but we are living in an economic crisis and giving up the multi-million dollar payouts you guys would have gotten, pretty much guaranteed, makes you selfish (or a hell of a cooze hound). It's also a sad day when the smartest among all of the quarterbacks of the 2008 turned out to be this guy.

Mark "Dirty" Sanchez

Thank you for your time gentlemen. Have a good senior year. I hope it's worth it.

A Webster

Church of Keith Jackson

Holy Bowlers...A Season in Review

Andrew Webster — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 00:16:00 GMT

Well, quite the entertaining bowl season, I think.

We have, somewhat, of a consensus national champion. The University of Florida Gators did their business and dispatched the Oklahoma Sooners. This result was not much of a suprise, 24-14 Gators. Bob Stoops continued his terrible performance in bowl games while Urban Meyer won his second national championship with Florida. Meyer is really doing his best to erase the Old Ball Coach's legacy in Gainsville and what is bad for Steve Spurrier is GREAT for me.

I wasn't sure how to recap this year's bowl season in a way that would be appealing for the blog. I was thinking about putting in my input on every bowl that I watched, then I thought about handing out awards for the bowls. But after a while I got to thinking that ONE day really capitulated everything that is great about bowl games.

Then, it hit me...

You see the bowls are never ALL about the national championship. Often enough the best games take place in that vortex between Christmas and New Years. This year was no exception. There was one day in particular, it was the 27th of December, when we had a triple header of GREAT bowl games. It started early with a shootout between the North Carolina Tar Heels and the West Virginia Mountaineers. This was a matchup of great collegiate athletes as WVU QB Pat White took to the air and ended his four-year career as the starting QB with a 300-plus game through the air, the most in his career. This game also featured probably my favorite player in college football, Hakeem Nicks. Nicks finished that game with eight catches for 217 yards and two touchdowns. Not only did this game end 31-30 WVU but coach Bill Stewart had probably one the ALL-TIME nicest sound bites about his QB when he said that he hopes his kids grow up to be like Pat White. Rich Rodriguez never said that about Pacman or Chris Henry.

Later that day the vaunted Florida State Seminoles were locked in a great battle with the Badgers of Wisconsin. This was a great game, not only because FSU won 42-13 in a blowout, but it showed the real chasm between great speed and great size. Wisconsin, perennialy, one of the bigger teams looked just outclassed by the speed of Florida State on every side of the ball. This game was also featured a KICKER winning the MVP of the game. Congrats Graham Gano, you da man!

The night of the 27th took us out west for the University of Miami-Cal Berkley game. The Emerald Bowl was a chance for me to take a look at one of the best kept secrets of the Pac-10 Conference, Jahvid Best. Best, one of the BEST, get it?, rushers in the nation, racked up 186 yards and two TDs against the Hurricanes defense, albeit a young Hurri-Shames defense, helping the Golden Bears won 24-17 on a late drive. Still Best had a great year this year, with eight 100-plus yard games, including a game where he rushed for 311 yards! After Marshawn Lynch's NFL success it is no stretch of the imagination that Best will come and do the same at the next level. Only a sophomore, Best will have another year to impress NFL scouts even more.

Truly the Mineke Car Care Bowl, the Champs Sports Bowl and the Emerald Nuts Bowl were what bowling is all about. Sure they weren't BCS bowls, sure they didn't have national championship implications. They were just the BIGGEST games in the career of many players who were there. We didn't have . They were games that entertained, they were games that were exciting, they were just damn fine football games.

So this is it kids. We sure did have a good time didn't we? Some fun times, some hard times but always good times.

So as we depart (for what like five or six months?) I leave you with some of 2008-09's hottest cheerleaders.

Yes I will have the Shocker, thank you very much.

That's it kids. Have a great spring.

Holy Bowlers Pt. III: Live Free, Bowl Hard

Andrew Webster — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 20:24:00 GMT

Whoa Whoa Whoa. Coming at you today from the beautiful frozen tundra of New Hampshire. I figured the Church of Keith Jackson would provide all you kids with a little live bowl update. We are currently in the midst of a great day of triple headed bowl action featuring some really exciting teams. If the action continues we are going to be in for a long day and night of some great football.

As of right now North Carolina and West Virginia have put up 54 points as they are entering the 4th quarter. This game has been an offensive showdown. Pat White is putting up some good numbers, through the air no less. White (aka Superman), usually a demon with the ball tucked in his arm pit has 257 yards passing with 2 TDs. White has been spreading the love around pretty evenly to his receivers, with the exception of Noel Devine; the speedy sophomore running back is without a big breakout play so far in this game.

But the big star of this game has been Hakeem Nicks. This kid is the real deal. He broke the Meineke Bowl record for receiving yards and he did it in the 1st half. He also caught 3 TDs, in the 1st half. In a year that will be pretty thin at recievers in the draft, if Nicks decides to come out he will be coveted by more than a few teams. Nicks, at 6'1 215lbs has the perfect size for a ball catcher and his ability to get those valuable YAC (yards after catch) have pro scouts drooling. Philadelphia Eagles take note.

But we have 2 more games to look forward to today and both involve more ACC teams and both games, at least on paper...

look pretty darn good. At 4:30 we get the vaunted Seminole Fluid of Florida State. Bowden's Boys and their fast fast fast defense will be up against the big, powerful and lethargic Badgers of Wisconsin. Given the Badgers prepensity to choke in big games, they have a 10-9 bowl record and haven't faced an ACC team in a bowl game since 1995 (Duke in the Hall of Fame Bowl), and Florida State's impressive bowl record (at one time they had won 11 straight bowl games) I like the Seminole Fluid in this one. And if you think i'm favoring FSU in this one, you're right, I may just have a certain former Heisman Trophy winner's New York Knicks jersey on right now...

Boo-Yaka Kobe...feel the ACC in your face!

The other game later on tonight is the Miami Felons taking on the Cal Bruins. Not suprisingly a Miami player has been suspended for tonight's game. Starting quarterback Robert Marve was suspended by head coach Randy Shannon for "a miscommunication about absentees for a class." That is hilarious. Amazing how they can word "he skipped" into such eloquent language. Shannon has done a quality job in turning around that program but, as Miami is wont to do, violating team rules is always a kick in the ass come bowl time. Miami may not be totally screwed for this game. Cal may have standout running back Jahvid Best in the backfield but with a patch-work offensive line going against a very strong Miami defensive front, yards will be at a premium for Mr. Best. Still this game is being played in California and Miami has not played a game out there since the 2002 Rose Bowl where they dismantled Nebraska. This one is tough to call but I think when you are missing your starting QB you are behind the 8-ball.

Anyway kids, keep warm for the next couple of days. I will try and get another edition of Holy Bowlers up before we get too deep into the BCS bowls. If you don't hear from me in a while just send people to come and get me as I try to stave off madness and not become Col. Kurtz...

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Holy Bowlers Pt 2: Bowl Harder

Andrew Webster — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 17:01:00 GMT

Last time on Holy Bowlers...

Wake Forest beat Navy, Colorado State beat Fresno State, South Florida demolished Memphis, Arizona upset BYU (who refuse to play well when it matters), and Southern Miss got the best of Troy in overtime (the yellow jerseys helped).

Now that you're all caught up let's go through the next few bowl games leading up to Christmas Day. Don't worry, it'll be easy because, you see, there are only TWO bowl games before Christmas. However both have pretty big storylines. Let us ponder over these games and then we'll get right to the cheerleader pics.

I know, I know the last post was a little lacking in that department so the Church will revert back to its "ace up the sleeve." But please stick around, read up, you might even learn something...then we'll get to the T and A.

December 23rd

San Diego Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl: (9) Boise State, 12-0 vs. (11) TCU, 10-2

In all reality we should be calling this the "You Got Screwed By The BCS Poinsettia Bowl." Seriously these are two teams, that if a playoff was implemented in the BCS, could do some major damage to a school from a major conference. This will be a good game, hell, even a great game but somehow I think fans of the game will be watching this wondering, "What if?" I love underdog teams and Cinderella stories (not to mention Cinderella, that sexy minx, get in there and mop those floors!)

But what makes those Cinderella stories great is that they get to go to the ball (yikes this metaphor is drying up quick). This bowl game is the story of Cinderella if the evil stepmother sent Cinderella to the "ugly" ball (seriously I'm done). Boise State has been great on offense this year. Their redshirt freshmen quarterback has lit it up this year, completing 70% of his passes for 3000+ yards and 25 touchdowns this year. TCU, on the other hand, does its damage on the defensive side of the ball. The Horned Frogs have been holding opponents to a paltry 10.9 points per game. This is in part to the BEST defensive player in the country, Jerry Hughes. Hughes leads the nation is sacks (14), Hughes also has over 18 tackles for a loss. So this should be a great game in it's own right and it's cool that it is our big Pre-Christmas bowl, something to get us through all the tree decorating and problem drinking of the holidays.

TCU is getting 3 points, i'd probably take the points because the game is not being played on that deadly blue turf they got up there in Boise. Go Horned Frogs.

December 24th

Hawaii Bowl: Hawaii, 7-6 vs. Notre Dame, 6-6

Suck, suck, suck, suck, suck. This game sucks. The only solace of this one is, if the Irish happen to lose then Weis will probably be canned. The bad news is no matter what happens we will not hear the end of Weis' story or the Irish's story. Seriously can you think back to a time in college football, let alone any sport other than maybe the NFL, where a team gets this much media attention for being terrible? I thought in this country we were supposed to reward success, not failure.

Ugh, so we're gonna do this anyway. There are some SERIOUS obstacles to overcome for the Irish if they want to win this one. 1st, they have to get over the fact that they haven't won a bowl game in their last nine tries, they just have to forget the past and treat this game not as a bowl game but just another big game for their team, which in all reality it is especially for their coach.

Second, the coaching staff has to get this team prepared to play. Listen if I were going to the beaches of Waikiki from the desolate wasteland that is South Bend, Indiana there would be one thing on my mind and it sure as hell wouldn't be football.

These two teams are evenly matched, that is to say both kind of suck. If Hawaii's offensive line can hold in key situations then their odds of winning improve substantially, the problem is their offensive line usually cannot hold. Notre Dame, i'm sure, will blitz a lot on defense to try and rattle Hawaii starting QB Greg Alexander, but if Alexander gets any kind of time then he has proven he can be successful.

The Irish are getting a point and a half, take them as the dogs. Weis will win this one to give the boosters back in South Bend a little morsel to chew on until next year when he'll REALLY have to perform.

Stay tuned because after Christmas Day we will have the third installment of the Church of Keith Jackson Bowl Previews. Not only that BUT we will also be live blogging a few BCS bowl games in the upcoming weeks so keep those ears and eyes open kids.

Hope you get everything you want this year!

Holy Bowlers Part 1

Andrew Webster — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 18:11:00 GMT

Many apologies for no post last week. Things got a little crazy down here at The Church. We went a little nuts getting ready for the fallout of the Florida-Alabama SEC championship. See we knew that it would be a battle for our souls and we were not going down without a fight. Let's just say that if Nick Satan's team of devil worshipers had won, The Church of Keith Jackson would not have taken it lightly (think Mumbai, only with better intentions).

Anyway we're glad no drastic measures had to be taken and that we are finally entering "The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year" a.k.a. Bowl Season. So what follows is Part 1 of The Church of Keith Jackson's Bowl Preview. What we are going to do is post the matchups by day, kind of. We will try and section them down to weekends or bowls over a few days.

What follows are the first bowl games on the docket. We'll be back later in the week with more preview on the way.

DECEMBER 20TH

EagleBank Bowl: Navy (8-4) v. Wake Forest (7-5)

Location: Washington D.C.

The inaugural EagleBank bowl takes place in our nation's capital. We're not sure if EagleBank was part of America's bailout of the banks, but if so this could be the first publicly owned bowl in history. This will be a battle of defenses. The Midshipmen have shut out their last two opponents and the Demon Deacons rely on their ability to take the ball away from opposing teams. I like Navy in this one, they are on a hot streak after blowing out rival Army.

Player to watch: Navy RB Shun White 1,021 yards, 8 TDs

New Mexico Bowl: Fresno State (7-5) Colorado State (6-6)

Location: New Mexico, duh

One team won out to make their first bowl game since 2005; the other has a coach who is shopping for a new job. Both teams are led by strong pocket passers. Fresno State was thought by many to be a much better team than they turned out to be. The Bulldogs failed to beat any ranked team they faced all year but neither did the Rams of Fresno State. Despite the shortcomings of either team, this should actually be a pretty even matchup.

Player to watch: Colorado State WR Dion Morton: 830 yards, 10 TDs

magicJack St. Petersburg Bowl: South Florida (7-5) Memphis (6-6)

Location: St. Petersburg, again duh

Despite what you might think this bowl is not sponsored by Californication's Charlie Runkle

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No this bowl is instead sponsored by a phone company, pretty funny video though. Anyway this will basically be a home game for the Bulls, who looked really good at the beginning of the season but choked down the stretch with three consecutive losses. They will be matched up against Memphis, who rebounded from an 0-3 start to play their way back into bowl contention. The Tigers offense is anchored by a three-headed running attack. With an injury carousel at quarterback, look for Curtis Steele, Brandon Washington and Brandon Ross to do the heavy lifting in this one.

Player to watch: South Florida QB Matt Grothe: 2,675 yards, 15 TDs

Pioneer Las Vegas Bowl: Arizona (7-5) Bringham Young (10-2)

Location: Las Vegas, seriously this is getting ridiculous

Once thought to be the best non-conference team, BYU has since dropped off the map after embarassing losses to TCU and Utah. However I can't really understand how a team as good as BYU gets stuck with a lame duck like the Wildcats of Arizona. I mean 'Zona sucks big time. Just one win against a Top-25 program on their record and without consecutive wins since early October. How did this team get a bowl game again? I like BYU to put a UCLA-type beating on Arizona, another WHACK-10 conference chump team.

Player to watch: Arizona RB Nic Grigsby: 1,066 yards, 12 TDs

Dealing With Depression

Andrew Webster — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 00:51:00 GMT

Just a sad day here at the Church today. Some un-college football related news has me down in the proverbial dumps. I don't like to bring the pro game into this arena BUT this image on Sunday had me in the doldrums:

Ugh. Not only that but later on in the evening I was floored when one of my favourite tv characters found a lump. Here at The Church of Keith Jackson we treat cancer as a very serious disease, even when it strikes fictional characters. Our prayers go out to you and yours, Mr. Moody.

Depression is a dangerous mistress, so let's take a look at some signs of the disease:

1. You can't sleep or you sleep too much:

Well this weekend I guess we can look to LSU and Les Miles for this one. The Tigers basically fell asleep at the wheel. How else can you explain the performance they put up against Ole Miss? It's not like LSU didn't see this coming either. Ole Miss, coached by Houston Nutt-case, employed the same basic game plan that he used to beat the Tigers last year as coach of Arkansas. The Wild Rebel or Wild Redneck or whatever it is they call the scheme, burned the Tigers for the second straight year. They had more than 365 days to sit down and say "Boy howdy, when we play that Houston Nutt again we better be ready to see a running back behind center." Sad LSU, just real sad.

2. You find that once easy tasks are now much more difficult:

Easy. Texas Tech, a team that didn't score under 35(!) points in ANY game this year only puts up 21 against the Oklahoma Sooners. Michael Crabtree caught just six passes for 62 yards with no touchdown. The entire effort of Texas Tech, on what should have been a great Saturday-night game, was, well, depressing.

3. You feel worthless/helpless:

Who is Michael Haywood? Well he is (or should I say was?) the offensive coordinator for Notre Lame University. Recently Mr. Haywood found himself as the scapegoat for the Irish's underwhelming season when Charlie Weiss threw him under the bus and took up the play-calling reins. Bad move Charlie. The Irish took a loss to the WORST football team in the country, losing to Syracuse 24-23 (record going into the game 2-8). "Hey Chucky, way to throw your offensive coordinator into the throws of depression."

4. You can't control negative thoughts, no matter how hard you try:

This has to go to Texas. Sorry, Longhorns but things could get real controversial real quick. Texas has the image of winning out but then losing out to Oklahoma for a chance to play in the national championship game running through their burnt-orange brains. And they just can't seem to shake it. See even if Texas beats A&M this week they are behind the 8- ball. If OU beats Oklahoma State on the road, a tough act in its own right, they will accumulate enough BCS computer points and remain the #2 in the all-seeing, all-knowing computer system.

5. You have lost your appetite or you can't stop eating:

Kansas Jayhawks going in to Thanksgiving last year: 11-0

Jayhawks going into Thanksgiving this year: 6-5

Still this symptom is not really being shown in head coach Mark Mangino.

Mangino last year:

Mangino this year:

He's the exception that proves the rule, I guess.

6. You have thoughts that life is not worth living, or have a plan for how you would end it (Seek help immediately if this is the case):

Zack Robinson, please son, get off the ledge. The pounding you take at the hand of Brent Vanables' defense will be bad, just not that bad. It will toughen you up. The defense of Oklahoma has been pretty devastating in the last couple of games, and the big win over Texas Tech can only add to their momentum as a unit. I would not want to be standing in Robinson's shoes on Saturday night, that team knows how important it is to win that game and they will be hungry. If the Sooners can put up more plays like this I smell another beat down.

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So get your head right. Get on the right track. Tomorrow is a new day. The sun always shines and blah, blah, blah. Last week of the season is just around the corner. Let's hunker down and get ready for a big finish.

Tim Tebow Is My Co-Pilot

Andrew Webster — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 05:19:00 GMT

56-6 isn't even a score line, it's a statement. Wait, 56-6 isn't even a statement, it's a call to arms. It's good laying down the gauntlet right in front of the face of evil.

If you don't think this season has biblical implications you have not been watching closely enough.

Check out some of this past weekend's story lines:

Charlie Weiss picks up the reins of his offense and survives Navy. Notre Dame repsonds by giving the coach play calling duties for the rest of the season. Catholics everywhere rejoice. Even the defeated Spurrier could find solace in the Fightin' Irish win.

Quothe the Bum: "I saw Charlie Weis on TV today. He's happy as he can be Notre Dame has got their sixth win and they're bowl eligible," Spurrier said. "Sometime you have to keep everything in perspective."

Also at a devil's rally in Tuscaloosa Nick Satan dropped some profanity in hopes of riling up his unholy troops.

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Sure Satan's squad pounded on Mississippi State this weekend, thanks to the help of some really solid special teams, but the lull in the Crimson Tide's schedule might take the wind out of Alabama's sails before their big game against Auburn in two weeks. Only time will tell if idle hands are truly the devil's plaything.

Finally I am sure that people out there want to know the Church's stance on the weekly huge, Coach Mangino sized, matchup in the Big 12 this weekend. Well my flock I do expect Oklahoma and Texas Tech to put up a combined 110 points on Saturday night. This game is also the premier matchup of Heisman candidates. Texas Tech quarterback Graham Harreld and Oklahoma pivot Sam Bradford will be going to the air on a pretty consistent basis in Norman on Saturday night, with the winner moving into the lead for Heisman. Harreld leads in passing yardage but Bradford has the edge in touchdowns. We here at the Church are suckers for Bob Stoops, poor guy keeps getting the shaft from the zebras.

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Although this game is in Norman I like Texas Tech to remain unbeaten and to clinch a spot in the Big 12 championship, where they will, no doubt, beat Missouri. Michael Crabtree will be the difference maker.

And now with no further ado, The Church of Keith Jackson top 10 rankings...

#1 Alabama Crimson Tide

#2 Texas Tech Red Raiders

#3 Florida Gators

#4 Texas Longhorns

#5 USC Trojans

#6 Oklahoma Sooners

#7 Utah Utes

#8 Boise State Broncos

#9 Ball State Cardinals

#10 Penn State Nittany Lions

The Desolate Wasteland That Is The ACC

Andrew Webster — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 22:47:00 GMT

Well this past week two of our three top unbeaten teams kept their records unblemished. 'Bama survived the tough game they knew they were going to get from the LSU Tigers and the Texas Tech Red Raiders continued to score more than David Duchovny in Californication in their win over Oklahoma State.

Penn State, on the other hand, blew it. Coach Paterno, kiss those national championship hopes good bye, and get ready to be blown out in your eventual bowl game come January.

But this week I wanted to get in to something a little different than winning teams. I want to talk about the Atlantic Coast Conference. A conference so bad that they're begging someone to step up and take the title. This is harder than it sounds. Every time a team has a chance to put a stranglehold on the ACC, they blow it. No team has won more than five conference games, while no team has less than two conference wins. This is a conference that, perennially, puts out top-five teams. Miami, Florida State, Virginia Tech, Georgia Tech and Boston College used to exemplify hard-hitting defenses and quick, agile offenses. Now the highest-ranked team is UNC, a team much better known for their basketball program than their football. Let us take a look at the three best ACC teams and where their seasons might take them:

Florida State

The Seminoles came into the season with lowered expectations, well lowered than usual. The past few seasons for FSU have been tough. The success they had accumulated in the past always seemed to slip through their fingers due to suspensions and ineligibility. This season started well for the Seminoles. Two wins to start the season and a new hope at quarterback brought some optimism to Tallahassee. But once the Seminoles faced a ranked team they seemed to fold, only putting up three points against Wake Forest. The past two months have seen FSU rebound from that pitiful offensive performance, even though the Sems lost a heartbreaker to GT the other week.

I like the chances of Florida State to keep up the play of QB Christian Ponder and their workhorse RB Anton Smith. Their last game against the Florida Gators is looking better and better every week.

Odds of winning the ACC: 5-1

UNC

Well the Tar Heels are big up the middle and if UNC can keep up their great point-guard play...wait we're talking about UNC football? And they have a winning season? And they're ranked? Not since Julius Peppers was terrorizing quarterbacks in 2002 has there been a reason to watch the Tar Heels play football. This year seems to be the year that Butch Davis' system has finally taken shape on Tobacco Road. Like Florida State UNC has only dropped two games and like FSU they have been getting serious input from their skill positions, most notably Hakeem Nicks. A wide reciever, Nicks is a magnet for the ball and has eight touchdown catches in 50 total receptions. Nicks also scored four times against B.C. in North Carolina's 45-24 win. The Tar Heels have a big advantage down the line as they do not face a ranked team in their last three games.

Odds of winning the ACC: 2-1

Wake Forest

Our other two ACC teams rely on their offense to win their games. Wake Forest is the opposite. The Demon Deacons rank 1st in the conference in scoring defense (17 ppg) and rushing yards allowed (90 ypg). Wake's win over Florida State early in the year catapulted them into the Top 25 but Wake couldn't deal with the pressure of leading the ACC for too long. They lost to Navy in their game following the FSU win. Navy? Really? Isn't the U.S. involved in two wars? Wouldn't that limit the number of Naval students playing football? Losing to Navy is bad but Wake also got shut out by Maryland a few weeks later.

Wake's chances of winning the ACC are pretty slim. But if FSU and UNC choke in their last three games then the door will be wide open for Wake to swoop in and take the title. Wake's quarterback Riley Skinner has been having a good year at the pivot position. When Skinner plays well, Wake seems to win. When Skinner blows, so blow the Demon Deacons. In their 3 losses Skinner has gone 43-78 for 454 yards, 1 TD and 4 INTs. Wake plays North Carolina State, Boston College and finish the season at home against Vanderbilt. Times could get tough for the Demon Deacons.

Odds of winning ACC: 9-1

Others

There are other ACC teams that have shots to take the title this year. Miami has been playing well and it seems that Randy Shannon has these kids playing back to their potential but their next two games are against Virginia Tech and Georgia Tech, I dont see the Hurricane taking both of these games.

Virginia Tech is another team that is looking better and better as the season goes. Last Thursday 20-year-old freshmen Darren Evans exploded for a school record 253 yards and a score. But Tech lost their three games early and I believe that unless FSU, UNC and Wake all choke in their last three games that VT will be without an ACC title.

So there you have it. The ACC, always a tough conference, may not be the powerhouse that it has once been. That does not mean that the next month won't be an interesting one along the Eastern Seaboard. And that's even before the ACC playoffs.

Here is your updated Chuch of Keith Jackson top 10 rankings:

#1 Alabama Crimson Tide

#2 Texas Tech Red Raiders

#3 Florida Gators

#4 Texas Longhorns

#5 Oklahoma Sooners

#6 USC Trojans

#7 Utah Utes

#8 Boise State Broncos

#9 Penn State Nittany Lions

#10 Georgia Bulldogs

Every Dog Has Its Day

Andrew Webster — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 20:12:00 GMT

Wooooooo mama! What a weekend, what a weekend!

Not only does the No. 1 team in the nation bite the dust in fantastic fashion but today's unveiling of the BCS rankings revealed some sort of logical thought. And we thought machines could not be trusted. Texas Tech jumps from No.7 to No. 2 after beating Texas, rewarding the team for a great game. The Red Raiders did not deviate from their style thus showing they are a superior team to Texas. I thought Tech would have to start running the ball but after watching Graham Harrell and Michael Crabtree stretch the field for a second straight game I am a believer of their run n' gun offense. They real good.

Florida holds steady at No. 5 after dismissing Georgia in a HUGE letdown game for the Bulldogs. With the win the Gators stay two spots ahead of USC. Some may argue that the Trojans deserved a bigger bump after blowing out Washington. But whipping Pac-10 opponents hardly warrants leap-frogging a team that plays in the SEC all year. This is all setting up very nicely for what should be a great bowl game. If things stay static for the next couple of weeks (what are the chances of that happening?). We could see a USC-Florida bowl game. This not only would pit two of the best teams in the last five years in college football against each other but it would also answer the question...

East Coast?

Or West Coast?

Our prayers go out for this game...

Lots of fallout today as well. Tennessee is finally going to part ways with Phil Fulmer. 3-6 just don't cut it in the Smoky Mountains and going 0-4 against your ranked rivals never helps. But it's really when your team is a doormat for the rest of your conference that will get you canned, Fulmer and his gang have not made any significant noise in-conference in about six years. Don't shed a tear for the Full Guy quite yet either. We're dealing with the former head coach of a college team that did win a championship. I am sure he is going to get another job somewhere, probably in the SEC. But what follows is our memorial to Phil Fulmer...

and what would a post about Tennessee be with out this kid...

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I think we all just dislike Auburn.

So we pour a collective sip of our 40oz. out on the sidewalk for Phil Fulmer. But before we go we've got your updated rankings.

#1 Alabama Crimson Tide

#2 Texas Tech Red Raiders

#3 Penn State Nittany Lions

#4 Florida Gators

#5 Texas Longhorns

#6 Oklahoma Sooners

#7 University of Southern California Trojans

#8 Oklahoma State Cowboys

#9 Utah Utes

#10 Boise State Broncos

My Favourite Vices

Andrew Webster — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 16:22:00 GMT

Here at the Chruch at Keith Jackson we like to stay away from dangerous vices.

Vices such as, but not limited to:

- excessive fornication (anything more than 10 times a week is pushing it)

- excessive gambling (bet you can't stop)

- and excessive gluttony

These are all to be avoided like dogs avoid Michael Vick. But once in a while we all like to indulge. Indulging in these activities is what makes us flawed, makes us sinners, makes us human. This weekend will be one of those indulgences. Yes, my flock, this weekend is the annual Biggest Outdoor Cocktail Party In The World; or as it may be known on your college football schedules, the Georgia-Florida game.

Last year's Bulldogs-Gators tilt featured one of the classier things ever to transpire during a first quarter. After Knowshon Moreno scored the first points of the game, on a one-yard dive, the Georgia sideline got so fired up that just about every Bulldog player ran onto the field to celebrate. The video is as follows...

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Stories surfaced after the game that Georgia's coach Mark Richt basically said before kickoff that if the team did not get a excessive celebration penalty after Georgia's first score then they would be running double-suicide sprints at every practice the next week. Richt caught some flack but received no fine or other disciplinary actions for basically ordering his team to go out and disrespect the other team. Coach Richt would realize the errors of his ways and apologize over six months later (such class). Richt is lucky that situation did not erupt into a major conflict. College football has not lacked in players doing stupid things on the field. I seem to remember a Miami-Florida International game that turned ugly after a harmless PAT.

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Always smart to fight with your helmet on. This year's game is shaping up to be another great one (last year Georgia completed the upset and won 41-30). Both teams are trying to work their way back into the national championship picture. A win on Saturday will catapult one team back in to the top-five or six spot while a loss will relegate the other team back over the double digit mark in the rankings.

So how does this one play out? Well I would be hard pressed to go against the grain on this Florida Gator team. Tebow, again this year, has been awesome and I am really curious to see how his game will translate to the pros. But this Florida team seems to rally around themselves. The loss against Ole Miss hurt this team but the Gators have responded well, not only winning but doing it in entertaining fashion. Georgia, on the other hand, has been on the receiving end of some of my ire. Let's face it they were overhyped in the pre-season and got pushed around physically by some lesser teams. In their last few games as they were also trying to get back in the picture the Bulldogs also started to rally, even though last week I picked LSU to beat them last week by a thin Kate Moss margin.

Instead the Bulldogs thumped the Tigers. But this week I will have to go against the Bulldogs once again. I think you can only get away with what Georgia did once...and you have to pay for it. I believe that this Saturday Richt and his team pay dearly for their early celebration in last year's game. Florida wins big 38-23.

The other big game this weekend is, of course, in the Big 12. That is right, the Texas train just keeps on a rollin! This weekend it's the matchup that a lot of experts are picking as the Longhorns' biggest test, Texas Tech. I disagree with said experts because Texas has been practicing for this game in their last three Saturday matchups. Oklahoma, Missouri, Oklahoma State are all teams with extremely high potent offenses and suspect defenses. Texas Tech? Potent offense but not much to write home about their defense, a unit that has allowed at least 25 points in their last five games. However I think the Red Raiders have a chance against Texas (every team has a chance). If Texas Tech can run the ball with some proficiency and keep the chains moving on offense while on defense they can get into the backfield and shake up Colt McCoy then they might be able to create some turnovers and make this one interesting. Then again Texas Tech's schedule did not do much to really prepare them for how good Texas is. This Longhorns team is built to win and every week Colt is showing the fans that he is the realest of deal. I like Texas to keep rolling in this one 33-27.

Enjoy the weekend kids and come on back on Monday for your updated Top 10.

Coveting Thy Hesiman Winner's Girl

Andrew Webster — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 00:04:00 GMT

Another weekend and another BCS ranking with no major suprise at the top. The top 3 teams in the nation, Texas, Alabama and Penn State, all took care of business on Saturday. However for all 3 teams their victories came at a price. Blueprints started to take shape on how to beat this year's powerhouse teams. Alabama showed that they can get rattled early, plus im still not sold on John Parker Wilson when he is under pressure. Ohio State showed that Penn State running back Evan Royster is human and QB Daryll Clarke can't take the big hit. However it seems that the Texas Longhorns' shortcoming was much more easy to spot.

Texas showed that they have a problem stopping a running game that relies on a smaller, shifty running back. Oklahoma State tailback Kendall Hunter (all 5 foot 8, 190 pounds of him) ran for a whopping 161 yards against a huge Texas defence. The Cowboys offence has been high octane and getting help from Hunter has been a main reason for them putting up big points (1116 yards and 10 TDs this season so far). The Longhorns need to watch out for other teams trying to exploit the lack of speed possesed by their linebackers. Texas Tech's 2 headed running attack of Shannon Woods and Baron Batch have yet to post big games (only 1 100 yard game between the two backs). I would not be suprised if Mike Leach is coaching those two up all week to get into the second tier of the Texas D.

BUT more importantly we were treated to the first images of Texas QB Colt McCoy's girlfriend...they are as follows (she's on the left):

...as our patron saint Keith Jackson might say, "Oh Doctor."

The obvious question now is "Does the hotness of Colt's girl earn him the right to win the Heisman?" Since Tim Tebow won the trophy solely (almost) on the hotness of his girlfriend, all other candidates must equal, or better, what we saw from Tim "JC" Tebow's girl...

Just give McCoy the trophy and be done with it.

Regardless of "Hardware for Hotties" the top 3 teams still might have a chance to fall out of their vaunted positions. Penn State is in the best position to stay unbeaten with only one ranked team left on the schedule (No. 21 Michigan State) and no conference tournament to play. Texas still has the big game agaisnt the Red Raiders on Saturday and the Big 12 tournament on their docket. Finally Alabama still has to play LSU, Auburn (in the big rivalry game Thanksgiving weekend) AND a conference tournament. There is plenty of football left to play and plenty of confusion yet to set in on the BCS computing system.

Without further ado here are The Church of Keith Jackson top 10 rankings.

#1. Texas Longhorns

#2. Alabama Crimson Tide

#3. Penn State Nittany Lions

#4. Oklahoma Sooners

#5. Florida Gators

#6. University of Souther California Trojans

#7. Texas Tech Red Raiders

#8. Georgia Bulldogs

#9. Oklahoma State Cowboys

#10. Tulsa Golden Hurricanes

Kicking for Penance

Andrew Webster — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 19:01:00 GMT

This week's plotlines come from the midwest. The Big 12 conference was on all of the pundit's lips this week.

Colt McCoy, now the smart pick for Heisman (when Tim Tebow speaks, people listen), has decided to return to Texas next year for his senior season. We here at The Church of Keith Jackson are going to go out on a limb and say that McCoy is coming back to school to persuade NFL owners that he is, in fact, The Real McCoy (yes even here at The Church we go for the easy ones). We figure that McCoy is not coming back to finish his "Undecided" major. We do understand that McCoy is making real headway in his "Undecided" studies, really making headways on the difference between "Pendent" and "Irresolute".

McCoy's Longhorns take on Oklahoma State this week in their month-long mine field that is their schedule. After doing away with Oklahoma and then trouncing Mizzou last week Texas faces the sixth-ranked Cowboys and then the eighth-ranked Texas Tech Red Raiders next week. But let's focus on this week. Oklahoma State has been a great story this year. A team that started the year unranked has now moved to the top ten on the back of their high potent offense. But what kind of shot do they have to unseat powerhouse Texas? Well, not much. Texas comes off two victories against similar Big 12 teams. In fact, all of these Big 12 teams are starting to look alike; crazy offense, very little defense. While I would love for Coach Gundy to prove to us that once again...

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I don't think that he'll be able to do it. Texas makes Gundy's team look like women; Texas wins big 44-21

The next item I want to put forth is the curious case of Matt Williams. If you have not heard Texas Tech has a problem; kicking the football. The Red Raiders have made only 50 percent of their field goals and have missed 6 PATs (a misleading stat because Texas Tech puts up about 40 points per game, that's gotta be about 4 1/2 touchdowns per game). So Red Raiders coach, Mike Leach, has decided to take a page out of Big 12 rival Texas A&M's book; call on the infamous 12th man. Yes, his name is Matt Williams and after winning free rent by kicking a 30-yarder at halftime a few weeks ago Williams has been recruited by the team and will probably see game time in Saturday's tilt against 23rd ranked Kansas. Now, we here at The Church are big fans of bringing on walk ons to play in big time games HOWEVER we would just like to remind Mr. Williams (who now has to pay his own rent mind you, thanks a lot NCAA regulations) of what hard lives kickers lead...

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Well now that we've seen all that can happen to kickers (regardless that most of those were punters) let's give you the pick. Texas Tech will beat Kansas on a last second 50-yard field goal. Not by Matt Williams (he'll miss 2 PATs) but by senior kicker Cory Fowler. Red Raiders over Jayhawks 30-27.

Other scores this weekend are as follows...

Penn State squeeks by Ohio State 21-17

LSU whips Georgia 24-10

Florida State wins a nail biter against Virginia Tech 13-10

Tulsa plays like an NFL team in their Sunday game (they're playing on Sunday?) and roll over the University of South Florida 35-7...keep an eye on Tulsa, the Golden Hurricanes have the best offense in the country and could be the real deal. They're ranked 19th right now but could see their stock rise into the Top 10 as the rest of their schedule sucks.

Flowers at the Altar

Andrew Webster — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 19:31:00 GMT

Tough week here at The Church. A 2-2 record is anything but holy around these parts. So we need to get back on track here. The question remains, how do we get back to our winning ways? After thinking long and hard we here at The Church have found the perfect solution...

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That's right kids... LIVE ANIMAL SACRIFICE! Please do your part!

Regardless of our missed picks, this week featured the always controversial BCS rankings. And kids let me tell you these BCS robots have no clue what the hell they're doing.

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The top three teams in the country are the top three teams in the country no matter which poll you follow.

1. Texas Longhorns

2. Alabama Crimson Tide

3. Penn State Nittany Lions

I mean that's a no brainer. But 4-10 is where we get a little squirrely.

See it depends on what you value in your ranking system. Are you impressed by unbeaten teams? Well Oklahoma State, Texas Tech, Utah and Boise State all remain unbeaten yet none of these squads cracked the top five and only two (the Cowboys and the Red Raiders) are in the top 10! Maybe you value great teams from great conferences. Well the best conference in the nation (the SEC) fields three one-loss teams in the BCS poll but none are in the top five. Instead Georgia, Florida and LSU come in at 7, 10 and 13 respectively. So with all these teams basically getting screwed, which team is getting the preferential treatment? The USC Trojans.

Yes the Trojans, with their smoking hot cheerleaders, tanned legs and white panties. Yes, the same team that absolutley choked against the Oregon State Beavers. A team that was not only unranked, but had beaten USC in past seasons as well. So how did USC propel to the top 5 in the BCS rankings? By running up the score against their weak conference opponents. Their dismantling of the Washington State Ryan Leafs was sexy enough for the computers to frog jump the Trojans over Oklahoma State, Texas Tech, Florida, etc.

USC will run the rest of the table and win the Pac 10, that's fine, I can live with that. UCLA, Arizona, Washington and even Oregon have no shot at beating USC. The thing is a terrible Pac 10 team HAS ALREADY BEATEN THEM! Seriously if they make the national championship game it will be a travesty, I dont care how hot the USC Song Girls are (that's a lie, I do care). The Pac 10 is awful, just god awful. And the fact that USC lost a game in that division should put them on the outside looking in, instead of in the drivers seat.

Well kids that is my rant for this week. We will be back before the games on Saturday for the picks. And please keep your eyes open for Ronny's column that should be coming soon, I think we may be in for an updated 2009 mock draft.

Quick Picks

Andrew Webster — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 13:39:00 GMT

Many apologies for no real preview post this week. Instead The Church of Keith Jackson will sort you out with our Chastity Belt Locks of The Week...

Missouri Tigers OVER Texas Longhorns

Missouri, no longer in the top 3, are hungry for a win. The Longhorns have won their big game of the year so expect Texas to come out slow. Mack Brown really isn't a national championship coach and, as Lou Holtz will tell you, Colt McCoy is not a marquee quarterback. Tigers win in a squeaker 28-24.

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Ole Miss Runnin Rebels OVER Alabama Crimson Tide

ARAS, Always Root Against Satan. Ole Miss wins big 44-21.

Penn State Nittany Lions OVER Michigan Wolverines

Have you ever seen a car wreck on the side of the highway and traffic comes to an almost complete stop as every car that passes by the accident has to slow down and see what happened? Well that is why I will tune in to ABC today. Penn State continues their winning ways 35-13.

Ohio State Buckeyes OVER Michigan State Spartans

A very important game for our Buckeye friends. Lose this game and Tressel is in trouble. Beat the Spartans and watch your stock rise back into the top 10. Terrelle Pryor and the Ohio State Buckeyes win a physical game in East Lansing. Ohio State 24 Michigan State 17.

Enjoy your saturday

Open Letters From The Church

Andrew Webster — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 18:38:00 GMT

Alas the biggest weekend in college football has lived up to the hype and now we are left to wonder how will the teams that lost (Oklahoma, Missouri and LSU) salvage their seasons? As we know the BCS rewards unbeaten teams (usually). Arguably three of the best teams in nation must regroup and prepare for the home stretch. These teams must realize that the season is far from over and these SEC and Big-12 teams will have a shot at redemption in the next few weeks. Sure things may look down right now but Bob Stoops, Les Miles and Gary Pinkel must keep remain faithful to the game plans that got them high pre-season rankings. Now is not the time for drastic measure, do not follow the example set by Clemson. Sure they may have been 3-3, but Tommy Bowden is and shall ever remain a Bowden and that is a last name that still means something at the Church. Right now I want to dole out some advice to the coaches of our fallen comrades...

Mr. Stoops

We all know that your team got jobbed in a major way on Saturday. Texas played their dang hearts out but they were assisted by the magic whistles of the referees. But Mr. Stoops, please do not linger on the bad calls. Get your team ready to run. If DeMarco Murray had been able to establish his running game then the Red River Shootout would not have ended with a bullet through the heart of the Sooners. You have the best offensive line in the country, but why can't they get a good enough push to allow Murray to gain more than six yards? Do not panic Mr. Stoops, get the boys pushing the sled in the cool Oklahoma autumn. If you get them angry enough then this week's game against the soft Jayhawks will not be a problem. Angry linemen win games.

Mr. Pinkel

You also have a big game this week against newly annointed #1 Texas. Not all was lost after you choked to the Oklahoma State Cowboys. You know that your team needs to play with a "chip on shoulder" mentality. A Missouri team ranked in the top 3 is never a strong team, your record as a top-3 team is 1-2 in the last two seasons. So put your team down, tell them that they do not deserve to be in the top 3. A hungry Tigers team is a GOOD Tigers team. But Mr. Pinkel you, like Mr. Stoops, need to have a serious conversation with your offensive line. As good a job as they do at protecting Chase Daniel they need to do better for the sake of the running game. They key to you getting to a big bowl game is your tailback Derrick Washington. Sure your quarterback gets all the ink but your running game is what wins football games. Feed the tailback and your team has a good chance of beating the Longhorns, and in doing so may cost Mack Brown his job.

Mr. Miles

Get a hold of your team. Never in a million years should you have allowed a statement like Ricky Jean-Francois made to hit the mainstream press. Tim Tebow and Florida knew that your defense was coming after them. The knew that you were going to try and be physical. But Jean-Francios' bulletin board material gave Florida more time to prepare the speed that they let loose on Saturday night. Your Tigers looked like they were stuck in second gear, while the Gators were firing on all cylinders. My advice to you Mr. Miles, is speed training. Get the Tigers fast. I know the saying goes that "you can't coach speed" but you better damn well try. You have a date with the Old Ball Coach and the Gamecocks of South Carolina and you know Spurrier will try to exploit the lack of speed that your offense, especially, possess. Rely on your wideouts and some misdirection to be victorious on Saturday.

Here it is, a little late but always the truth...it's the Church of Keith Jackson Top 10 rankings

1. Texas Longhorns

2. Penn State Nittany Lions

3. Alabama Crimson Tide

4. Florida Gators

5. Oklahoma Sooners

6. USC Trojans

7. Texas Tech Red Raiders

8. Oklahoma State Cowboys

9. BYU Cougars

10. Georgia Bulldogs