The Chronicles of a SAHM

Slacker Mom

2009-11-05T21:22:00.002-06:00

I feel like a total slacker mom. There, I said it.

It's weird, because actually, I'm there for my kiddos every moment of the day. Before preschool, I took the kiddos to the zoo, or the museum, or the park every week. I really don't have any mom friends, so it's just us...

Cue preschool. In the city, preschool options are expensive. Not only could we not afford some of the private preschools, but I it would have been quite a feet to get in even if we could. Literally, at the last minute, we got Miss Peach into a great preschool. It isn't cheap, but it's doable.

Now, I am surrounded by all these moms who make me feel like a total slacker:( They are all worked up about homework for the preschoolers, and whether or not their 4 year old is being held back by some of the 3 year olds in the class. Ummmm...what?

I was just happy to have her in an environment where she could learn to spell her name, and socialize with other kiddos. These moms seem to be gunning for Harvard! Don't even get me started on the wardrobes...

Most days, I drop Miss Peach off in running clothes, since I go for a run after I drop her off. Slacker that I am...some days, I haven't gotten the shower in by the time I pick her up (I am not a total dirt bag, I do shower every day, just not always before I pick her up). Usually, I'm perfectly comfortable in workout gear...until now. These moms pick their kiddos up in full on make up, with hair done, knee high boots tucked into perfect fit jeans...the whole shebang.

No matter how I slice it, I can't rationalize doing my hair and makeup to pick my daughter up from preschool! Am I wrong? I mean, good Lord people...what bad Stepford Wife episode have I wandered into here?!?

Now if you'll excuse me...I have to go change out of my sweats, and into my pajamas...

Hippopost

2009-11-03T13:47:00.005-06:00

You know when I find something fun/cool, I'm gonna share it.*

Well, I've found something fun/cool...Hippopost.

I downloaded the app. for my Blackberry, but you don't have to use it on your phone. You can load pictures through you Facebook account, or from your computer.

Here's the deal...take a picture, load it to Hippopost, they send a free postcard to whomever you choose with whatever you choose to say. How fun is that!?!

This is perfect for sending kiddo pics to my Dad (who is far away, on slow Internet). It's also perfect for my Mom (who has the same Blackberry as me) to send pics of her ponies to the kiddos. C'mon, where's the downside...it's totally free!

I tested it out by sending a postcard to myself...and here it is...An advertiser tags it in the corner on the front and back...and that's that. (it did take about a week for it to arrive, and you are limited to two a day...just so you know)
Go check it out...it's fun, and free...can't beat that:)

*Hippopost in no way contacted me, or compensated me for this post. I just like it and wanted to share...is that so wrong?

Bring on the Freak Show

2009-11-01T20:58:00.006-06:00

Come my Halloween minions...enter at your own risk. Beware, it's a freak show...
I would say SNL was well represented at the party. LOVED Gilly Girl! She looked right at me and said "Sorry"...Loved it!
Followed by **** in a box! Every year someone does this costume, and every year, it makes me chuckle:D Although...you are no Justin Timberlake...Oh yeah...here's me with Marylin. I had fun, even though my hat was so HUGE, and I got real tired of folks asking me if I was at band camp:P Toy Soldier...Nutcracker...Band Camper...whatever, it's all good.I don't know what they are....but that is some hair!OK, men's costume of the night...wasn't Micheal Jackson, wasn't Wolverine, wasn't Obama...I kid you not...SO many guys went as the NWA pilots that overshot the runway by an hour and a half. I kinda chuckled...
OK, look at the gut on KISS guy...and yet...he seems to have got a chick...
I'm not a face painter...but these folks...made it work.
We girls saw this guy...and I was all "OMG...it's TOTALLY Dr. Oz!"...and they were all..."OMG...it IS totally Dr. OZ!" I ran up to take a pic...and he was so NOT Dr. Oz. He was just crabby Dr. Guy:P I still love the pic;P
I could not stop laughing at this one...Yes...cute girl on the right is a showgirl. Fun, cute...she got props. Any guesses on girl on the left? C'mon...look at her. Is it not obvious to you? Anyone...Wait. For. It....She looked right at me and said...

Marylin Monroe!

Ummmmm.....What?!? Long dark hair...Asian...lightning bolt ear rings. Oh yeah...I totally see it...NOT!
The whole night, I couldn't help thinking that somebody was watching me...and I turned around...and laughed my a** off at the money I could be saving with GIECO. So clever!

Halloween is so fun. I think this was my 6th year at the party. I hope it goes next year...I love me some Halloween:)

Tiny House

2009-10-29T19:51:00.005-05:00

There's this tiny house I walk past almost every day...It is a tiny, mouse house, in the land of the giants.
This is the house next door...You can see the roof of the tiny house next to it. We are talking four times the size:OHere is the house directly behind the tiny house. Zoning prevents them from knocking the house down, so they literally sucked the guts out of the house, leaving nothing but the facade. Then they inject uber modern house inside. I'm not sure this picture does the size justice...I'm thinking this is 6,000-ish square feet. Crazy HUGE.Now then, speaking of uber modern...This is the house across the street. I BIG puffy heart this one. I'm telling you, if I ever have 3 million dollars burning a hole in my pocket...this is my house;)"Mommy, why are you taking pictures of the houses?" "Oh Little Man, Mommy just likes all of the houses...we'll be done soon:)"There are no words for how crazy I think this house is. In the 'hood, we call these the Garagemahol's, or McMansions. They span lot lines, and have no personality other than HUGE. It's like cookie cutter fat cat houses.I have LOVED this house since the first time I saw it. (It's down the street from the tiny house) Between you and me...it was on the market for 6 million. I don't think it sold. (Does anyone have the 20% down on 6 mil.?) Needless to say, I did not buy it;/So I walk past all of the McMansions, and see the tiny house. I always wonder what it's story is? How did you manage to stand your ground in the land of the giants? I know the day will come where the green fences will be put up, the tractors will come in, and the tiny house will be nothing but a memory...Until then, every day I walk past the tiny house...I root for it:)

Shopping the Joffrey

2009-10-27T20:54:00.007-05:00

Today was one of those days when I remember why I love living in the city...

After much deliberation, I decided to go to the Joffrey Ballet costume sale without Miss Peach:( Yes, all of the shopping was for Miss Peach, but I had no idea what I was walking into, and downtown tends to overwhelm the kiddos. So...I let them play at the neighbors, while I jetted out for a quick costume shop.Look at my city! Even on a dreary day like today, it's just magic...It's full of action, and life. Everywhere you look there are people on there way to everything the city has to offer. There are so many layers to it. Anyway...that is enough of my love letter to Chicago...I hadn't been to the Joffery Ballet Tower downtown. It is SO cool! You could see the dancers through the windows as you approach. I gotta think if you are a dancer, you feel like the shizzle nit dancing in Chicago at the JT;)

Let me just say straight up...I had NO idea what I was in for at the sale. My goal was to pick up some fun play clothes for Miss Peach, and to not spend more than $100:/ It was quite an odd group of shoppers...lots of really old men and really old ladies. It crossed my mind that they were shopping for grand-kids...possibly, I don't know? There were handfuls of hoarders, putting clothes on their own racks. More than once I heard someone "These are taken!" at someone else. "Don't you dare take my tutu!" OK lady, step away from the tutus...
As you can see...I'd call the whole experience a success! I got three ballerena dresses, a cute flouncy leotard, a beaded purse, and a hat for $102. Not. To. Shabby;)
Miss Peach is beside herself. She is wearing the leotard, and sleeping with the rest of the dresses on her bed. Step off Kitty...don't even think about making a cat-bed out of all this tulle, Miss Peach is pretty serious about her ballerina dresses!

Pathetic Losers Unite!

2009-10-25T20:56:00.005-05:00

I answered the phone the other day, and it was one of Husband's oldest friends. Does every Husband have the perpetual single guy friend?

The guy who dates women much younger than he should. The guy who has spent so much time focusing on himself, that the idea of committing to another person scares the sh*t out of him. The guy who has been the perpetual player so long, that he is scared to death to be alone, and doomed to it...(wow, did I just get deep?) If I had to sum him up, I'd call him a cross between Jerry Seinfeld (the character) and David Duchovney's character on Californication:\

Anyway, he asked me what the kiddos were being for Halloween, and I said..."Well, if you read my blog, you'd know that:)" To which he said..."The day I read a blog is the day I declare myself a pathetic loser:P" OK, what does that make me, since I not only write a blog, but I design blogs for bloggers?

I shake him off, because quite frankly, I could give two sh*ts what single old guy thinks. So, I tell him what the kiddos are being for Halloween, then I ask, jokingly of course..."What are you being for Halloween?" To which he says..."I think any adult who dresses up for Halloween is a pathetic loser:P"

Well hello Mr Bitterton, so glad I was home to receive your call:\

In the spirit of pathetic losers everywhere, I am going to post my Halloween costume for my grown up party...ON. MY. BLOG!We are being toy soldiers...how fun! Yes, the skirt is short...rest assured, I'm wearing yoga shorts underneath;)Oh, I ordered this cute little had to go with. It's ridiculous...but Sissy and I both LOVED it! Bring on the party...we girls are ready! (who's the pathetic loser:P)

Babies Grow Up

2009-10-22T21:30:00.003-05:00

OMG...would you look at this! Just look at this!!! Where did this grown up girl come from?!?

This is Miss Peach's first school picture...sooooo cute.

On the way home Miss Peach drops this bomb on poor Mommy...

Miss Peach: "You know, I'm getting to the point where I don't need a Mommy anymore." (skipping down the sidewalk to smell a "pretty flower")
Me: (as my heart sinks into my stomach) "What will Mommy do if you don't need a Mommy anymore?"
Miss Peach: "Don't feel bad Mommy, that's just the way it goes. Babies grow up and become big girls and move out. It's OK though, 'cause I'll get a phone, and you can call me anytime you want:)"

So, she'll be getting a job downtown next week, and I think moving into a nice condo in the Gold Coast;)

If anyone knows how to slow her down, can you email me...ummmm, now?

The Great Debate

2009-10-20T21:48:00.006-05:00

OK, truth time...or should I say "time-out"? By now, I sometimes think I am the only dinosaur who actually goes to the blog to read, and leave comments. (I do have Google Reader, but as a designer, I enjoy checking out other folks blog skins.)

I work on the three major platforms...Blogger, Typepad, and Wordpress (mainly self hosted). Lately, I have noticed that boatloads of Blogger folks have been jumping ship to Wordpress self hosted.

This is a cycle that goes round and round in my head. "Should I jump ship too?" I have even discussed it with other bloggers. Some say..."You'll never be taken seriously until you leave Blogger." Others say..."Your blog looks great, you should totally stay on Blogger."

Straight up, when I get a client who tells me they want to switch, I always ask them..."What do you want from Wordpress, that Blogger can't give you?" Sometimes they have an answer, sometimes they don't. Either way, I'm happy to move them, and then I go through it in my head all over again..."Should I jump ship too?"

I know my answer to the question. What is the one thing I want, that Blogger won't give me...wider post on the click-through. Do you know what I mean by that? Check out Dooce. Notice when you click on a picture...she drops the sidebar down, and the post area/picture widens. In a blog traffic world, this equals higher stats, plus I think it's really cool. I like it. Drupal is the platform she is on...quite frankly, I'm a bit intimidated by it:O

To my knowledge, I have not seen any Wordpress blogs doing this. (I am sure there is a way to code it, but code guru is not my forte. I design a mean blog, but I still have a lot to learn in the coding arena.) OhMommy has this feature, she however is on a YouJoomla template. I like her template, but I wasn't wowed by any of the other YouJoomla's. Again, I was a bit intimidated by YouJoomla. I am not sure if you loose your content by making the jump?

Then, I see someone like NieNie. Who was on Oprah a week or so ago. OK, this blog is easily up there with the big dogs (I know that Pioneer Woman reads her). Not only is she on Blogger, but she still has the .blogspot in her url, and the Blogger navbar is visible. You know what, I think her blog is lovely. I watched her blog as she was on Oprah. Can I just say that Blogger handled the Oprah traffic spike seamlessly (am I safe to assume there is an Oprah traffic spike?)...'cause it did. I have seen smaller self hosted blogs crash during traffic spikes.

All of this leads me to thinking..."Who do I think I am?" I'm certainly not in the league of NieNie and Dooce. Where do I go? Am I taken less seriously because I'm still on Blogger? Oh, and don't even get me started on whether or not I will loose all my Feedburner numbers. In a bloggers' world, this number is gold. (in my imaginary world, someday I will cross the 1,000 subscriber mark *she says wringing her hands like Mr. Burns*)

So I put this to the class. What do you all think? Do you have a lesser opinion of Blogger blogs? Does it matter what platform a blog is on? I'm curious...and I need my head to stop spinning:/

Giddy as a Preschooler!

2009-10-18T20:54:00.004-05:00

OMG...Miss Peach and I are beside ourselves! I saw in the Sun Times that the Joffrey Ballet is holding their first ever costume sale. How cool is that?!? (I don't know if you know this...but my dream job has always been to be a costume designer for the ballet? Got my first BFA in fashion design.)

In a nutshell, The Joffrey Ballet is a wonderful dance troupe that has been in Chicago for 53 years. Is it ridiculous that I am just giddy about this? When I showed the article to Miss Peach, her mouth hit the floor, and she could not stop inhaling:O She took me by the hand and said "Come on Mama...let's go shopping!" (The sale isn't until the end of the month.)

I know the costumes will be too big for her (typical sizes are between a 2-4). It's dress up stuff, and I think she'll have a blast and we might find some fun stuff! Prices will range from $25-$100. I told her we could buy one, maybe two things. I mean, I'm not made of money, and this is the kind of thing that can easily get out of hand fast:/

I kinda wish I hadn't pulled the trigger on my grown up Halloween Party costume* (remember I always go to a rockin' Halloween Party?) Seriously, talk about major cool costume potential for Halloween '10. It's not too early for that...no?

*I will post pics of this years costume once I pull the whole thing together and try it on;)

Shhhhhh...

2009-10-15T21:26:00.002-05:00

I was one of the helper parents on the preschool field trip today. It was a long one:/ We went to a Pumpkin Farm (about an hour drive out of the city). What a rainy, cold, drama filled day. Poor Little Man was so scared, he couldn't even move.

Bottom line, the school was told the scary things were not out during the day. There was a witch that rivaled the Wicked Witch from the Wizard of Oz (that is one scary broad). I know when The Little Man is begging for nap time, he has reached his limit:( My brave little soldier made it through the day, and this is what I saw when I parked the car and turned around...So...Mommy locked the car doors, reclined the driver's seat, and took a 45 minute nap. Oh. Yes. I. Did!

Step Off Nanny

2009-10-13T13:54:00.006-05:00

I am all kinds of whipped up today:P I don't now if it's because I live in the city, and we are on top of each other, so complete strangers think they can jump into my life at any time to shove their worthless two cents down my throat, or if this happens all over the place?

Miss Peach had the day off school yesterday (I find this out after loading the kiddos up and hauling them to school only to find it was closed for "Columbia Day", as Miss Peach called it.) No problem, I go for my run with two kiddos in the stroller instead of one, and then take them to the zoo to play.

Let me stop here only to say...Whoever designed the Children's Zoo obviously did NOT have kiddos. Seriously, who puts a fountain with shards of metal coming out of the bottom, low enough that kiddos can climb into it, in the middle of a child play area? Oh, add in a waterfall with a step so kiddos can stick their head right in said waterfall. The least you could do is turn the dang thing off in the winter! I was very lenient with The Little Man, until the third time he found himself knee deep in the mosaic fountain nightmare. It was a meltdown coming, and there was nothing I could do but plow through it, and head home for "lunchies".

Remember, Little Man is still wearing his shirts with one arm out of the top "like Caveman Austin". I'm OK with that, it's all about picking your battles. After hauling TLM (From here on, TLM stands for The Little Man, m'kay?) up from the fountain for the nine millionth time, I hog tied him to the ground to wrestle his coat on him. This is a battle I have to wage...he's wet, it's cold out, and he's gonna wear a coat dog gone'it!

Out of nowhere, some nanny who speaks English as a second language comes up to us, puts her finger under the collar of his shirt, and says "Dis wrong!". Completely shocked that she did that, I look up and say "I'm well aware." (Like I have no idea how a shirt works:/) Then she goes back to watching the kiddos she is being paid to watch.

I am visibly upset at dealing with TLM's melt down, but what mother isn't stressed trying to shove two kiddos into a stroller, as one is melting down? It's like repacking a parachute. I wasn't yelling, or spanking anyone, I was just methodically putting him into the stroller while he played the "my bones are jello" game. (I hate when they do that!)

Again, out of nowhere, Nanny Lady comes up and grabs TLM's feet to get him into the stroller. (At this point, I'm in complete shock!) Do not touch my son thank you very much. Then she takes his face into her hands and says "you good boy", as if to imply that I was telling him he was a bad boy? She even took his toy truck and put it together and handed it to him....I know I am not painting the correct picture here. This was not a woman helping, it was like she was elbowing me out of the way because I was doing it wrong. Needless to say, TLM was horrified/scared at the stranger lady who was touching him and pushing Mommy to the side.

The Hell lady? Who asked you?!? I did not give him the truck back because...a) I am his mother, and b) He had thrown it on the ground, and I felt he did not deserve it back until he was done with his melt down. These are my decisions to make...as his mother!

Typically, when someone gets all up in my business, I am more than happy to go nose to nose with them. (Bring it on Sister Soldier...I will totally cut you!) *OK, I will not really cut you...but it sounds good-n-tough* This time, I was so shocked, I just wanted to get out of the situation. Who does this? I would never get in the way of a Mommy dealing with her toddler in melt down mode (it wasn't even that bad of a melt down...TLM has been WAY worse, and I am completely able to handle it)

Am I the only one who has strangers weaseling their way into their business? Step off Nanny Woman, nobody asked you! Sometimes I think I have a kick me sign taped to my back:P

Three Years Old!

2009-10-11T17:25:00.004-05:00

My Little Man turned 3 years old this weekend:) What a funny little man he is. In case you are wondering why he is wearing his shirt that way...he is being caveman Austin from the Backyardigan's (Caveman's Best Friend Episode, Little Man's favorite).
Mommy had the bakery make a lovely "Rescue" Cake. Did he want it? No, all he wanted was a firetruck cookie. Would the bakery make a firetruck cookie? No. (Seriously, what bakery just says "no" to a customer?)
So, Mommy set out to make sure her Little Man had a firetruck cookie for his birthday. (I was treading in the deep water on this one, but I think it turned out OK.)

One of the best presents The Little Man got was a remote control firetruck from his Uncle. You have not seen a happier boy. Miss Peach was a bit confused...

Miss Peach: (in a whiney mcwhinerton voice) "Mommy I want to play with the firetruck!"
Me: "Miss Peach, you don't even like firetrucks, why do you want to take it away from The Little Man?"
Miss Peach: "I guess you're right, but why don't they make a remote control princess?"

________________________________________________________

I will defer this question to the lovely folks at Disney, who saw their way fit to send me a copy of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (Blu Ray and DVD Pack). I really love watching the Disney Classics with the kiddos. Miss Peach has been waiting for, what she calls ever to see this movie (I believe it's been in "the vault")

Some advantages of the Blu Ray are:

Up to 6x better quality than DVD
7.1 Surround Sound
Immersive activity with games and special features
Kid proof-more scratch resistant (hallelujah!)
Plays both Blu-ray and DVD discs
Blu-ray also plays on Sony Playstation 3 players

Makes me kinda wish I had one:(

The reason I love watching these movies with her...one word, magic.This is how she looked as she watched Snow White for the first time. Can't you see it on her face? MAGIC. It's in heavy rotation at our house...Snow White, then Backyardigan's, Snow White, then Backyardigan's...It really is fun to watch the Disney Classics with the kiddos:)

Cotton Candy Goodness

2009-10-08T13:14:00.005-05:00

I know it's an iPhone world, and I just live in it. That said...I am loveity LOVING my Blackberry Curve! *smooches*

Granted, I've only had it for about a week now, but I have dived head first into app. land, and I gots to share my favorite four with ya!

1) Bolt Browser - OMG...So glad I found this. Truth be told, I wasn't really jazzed about the Blackberry default browser:( Bolt is faster, which is always a plus. More than that, it has crazy easy navigation, and the web pages are viewed as they look on your computer...Yay! It's free, so run, don't walk to install it. (I'm a frugal McDougal, so I opted for the free version)

2) UberTwitter - If you will remember, wanting Twitter on my phone is what started this whole new cell phone odyssey. UberTwitter kicks Twitterberry's a**, 'nuff said. (as always, I go for the free option)

3) Pandora - Free internet radio! What?!? OMG, I can crawl into the 80's and never come out again. There is actually a station called "80's Cheese" Don'cha love it? Currently I'm listening to I Ran by Flock of Seagulls. Someone pass the popcorn:P (Free, free, free, free)

4) Slacker Radio - As much as I'm loving Pandora, Slacker Radio is making me swoon. You gotta remember, I spend at least an hour and a half a day carting kiddos around the city in the stroller. Now, I have one ear tuned into them, and the other listening to my new best friends (free Internet radio on my B'Berry). I'm such a loser, 'cause I have a constant inner dialogue with Slacker..."Oh no you didn't just play Pressure Drop by the Clash!?!" or "Video Killed the Radio Star by the Buggles...are you kidding me?!?" then there is "Every Day I Write the Book...seriously, I'm gonna have a dance party right here on the sidewalk!" Most days you will find me on the 80's Alternative station, sailing away on a wave of neon 80's cotton candy goodness=P (again, free option is the path I follow)

There ya go. Anyone out there on the Blackberry train, or am I the only one? I know...someday I'll get an iPhone...someday..."Beat Surrender by The Jam...I gotta dance...!" (Smokey...give me back my phone.)

...Or She Can Rescue Me

2009-10-06T14:50:00.007-05:00

Even though Miss Peach is being Belle from Beauty and the Beast for Halloween...she is having one heck of a time in The Little Man's fireman costume. (I still can't believe it was $20 at Costco*)

*No, Costco is in no way sponsoring this post, but I wish they were...I like money and stuff:)

Paranormal Activity

2009-10-04T21:05:00.004-05:00

I am so exhausted right now, I actually have a headache from sleep deprivation. Why not go to bed Warden? Good question...

I saw a movie last night (midnight show) that does to sleep, what Jaws did to swimming. Not only did it scare the BEJEEZES out of me...but I got NO sleep last night:(

The movie, Paranormal Activity. I'm linking to the trailer, it is too gosh darn scary to embed on my blog. I'm serious...Sissy and I watched the trailer and jumped about a mile in the air. I can't believe we summoned up the nerve to actually go see it:O (If you count Sissy sitting in the theater the entire time with her eyes closed as "seeing the movie".)

I'll tell you about the movie in a minute...first, I gotta tell you how it was made (that is what I really respect about it). One guy (Oren Peli) wrote and directed it. There are only four characters. After shooting for seven days (in his own house), he edited the piece on his home computer. Total cost $15,000. Finished product...the SCARIEST movie I have ever seen (hands down, no exaggeration). I wonder what this does to the big movie houses who spend millions of dollars on big names and CGI...hmmmmmm?

Even if I told you the entire movie, I wouldn't be ruining it for you...you really have to see it to believe it. In a nutshell, a young couple living together (Katie and Micah) start noticing a presence in the house. Micah buys a video camera and tapes the bedroom as they sleep...and it all goes awry from there.

I can't explain to you the feeling in my stomach as I watched. It's like a knot of impending doom. Every evening, the camera is turned on (You experience everything as the camera, I kept watching through my jacket sleeve thinking "don't point us that direction...please, don't point us that direction!) The movie becomes an exercise in getting through the night. First night...not so bad. Second night...whew, glad that's over...and it just. keeps. escalating.

At some point Micah makes the colossal mistake of bringing a Ouija board into the house (WTF were you thinking!) and let's just say that did not work for them. The audience is forced to face the thing that goes bump in the night, right along with the characters...and does it go bump in the night:O

I'm not proud. I'll admit to you that I slept with all the lights on in the house last night. I got home and woke Husband up to tell him how awesomely scary the show was. He said "come snuggle up to me, I'll keep the demons away". Which is exactly what Micah said to Katie! Way to not help Husband:P

Wish me luck sleeping tonight...yes, all the lights are on:P

Rescue Me

2009-10-01T22:19:00.004-05:00

Dennis Leary, step aside. How cute is The Little Man's Halloween costume!?! So CUTE! (Got it at Costco for $20...Yay me) He insisted on wearing it to the park today. How could I say no to that face? Yep...he has Mommy wrapped around his finger:P

Can You Tweet Now?

2009-09-29T21:39:00.007-05:00

Why did I agree to go see Pandorum? I know I've had this crush on Dennis Quaid for like...ever. Is he still even hot...or is he just old? I don't know anymore:P Sissy calls him my boyfriend...thanks for that Sissy. (I wanted to go see The Invention of Lying...although I can't quite pin down my feelings for Ricky Gervais *I think it's a crush...don't tell Sissy*)

Not far into the movie, I reach in my pocket and check my emails on my new cell phone. I realize I should be more interested in the dude on the screen waking up from hyper-sleep to an empty spaceship...and yet, here I am checking emails...

OMG...I totally forgot to tell you about my new cell phone! Yeah...my Motorola Krazor (that I have had for 3 years) up and died on me:( I decided "gosh darn it...I'm gonna get me some Twitter on my cell phone!"

You'd think that would not be a hard call...right? Yeah it's easy, unless your Verizon store is smack dab in the heart of The Twilight Zone! (which apparently mine is)

First time I go in...I cheerfully say "I want me some Twitter on my cell phone:)" Well, they set me up with a Verizon phone. It's cute, has a little keyboard...I'm happy, 'til I get home and realize I can't see my little blog on it:( If I'm gonna go this whole web on the phone route, I am gonna need to be able to see my blog...ya know?

Second time I go in...(same day) "I'm gonna need a phone that will show my web page." No problem, she switches me out for another Verizon phone, and tells me "All I need to do is load a Twitter app. to the phone." OK...off I go. Problem is (I find this out after about an hour on the Verizon help line....) you can't load apps. onto this phone:P Thanks for nothing lady:(

Third time I go in...(next day) "I got a problem...you can't load apps on this phone." The Verizon guy (who is not the jolly guy on the commercials, you know, the one who totally has your back and cares what you think...he's not there) I get a crabby guy who shows me Twitter on my phone and sends me away like I'm the idiot (which I am not). Well, I get home to tweet...wait for it....I can send out tweets, but I can't respond to tweets. How lame is that?!?

Sooooo...I spend about another hour on the phone with the happy Verizon help line. I actually left my body and watched myself on the phone with the Verizon help guy saying "I can tweet, but I can't respond to tweets, and that is just unacceptable." (chalk that up to things you never thought you'd say:P) He then says "Oh no...you're a tweeter. I can't imagine what horrible tweets you have been sending out about us." Oddly enough...I had never even considered tweeting about my Verizon issues. (Hmmmmm...perhaps I need to take some dealing with big business via Twitter classes from Dooce?)

Let's just jump to the fifth time (yes...fifth time!) I go into the store...I actually hand the guy the bag and say "I currently don't have a contract with you, right? Can I just take my phone number, cancel my service, and go across the street to AT&T and get an Iphone." I really didn't want to do this. All I wanted was for them to sell me the cute, pink Blackberry Curve in the ad. For some odd reason, every time I had the phone in my hand, they would. not. sell. it. to. me. Only after I threatened to leave, did they sell me that phone. I really don't get it? They finally sold me the pink Blackberry Curve, and I LOVE it:)

In case your wondering...ever since I got Twitter on my phone...I have had nothing to Tweet about...figures:P

Oh...Pandorum...meh. Everybody knows that if you wake up from hyper-sleep to an empty ship, it's a pretty safe bet that there's some creepy alien mutation eating humans on the ship. Follow the dude who saves you from the human eating mutation...chances are, he's been around the block a few times and can get you where you need to go. Oh, and if you encounter a human eating alien mutation child...don't hesitate to whack it, just cause it's little. If you don't take it out...it's gonna eat you just like the big ones do...dummy! Better yet...just go back to hyper-sleep...zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

I Just Yike Him

2009-09-27T22:05:00.004-05:00

I picked up Miss Peach from school the other day. Miss Beth (wonderful classroom assistant) pulled me aside and said...

"Miss Peach is a wonderful little girl, and all you have to do is hear her talk, and you just fall in love with her. I don't know what happened today, but Miss Peach hauled off and hit a little boy, really hard, in the stomach. She didn't seem to think there was anything wrong with that. Just try to talk to her tonight, and see what was going on."

I hate to admit, that my first thought was..."Please don't be Kane, please don't be Kane, please don't be Kane."

Kane just happens to be this cute little boy in Miss Peach's class. His daddy is the owner/chef at a marvelous sushi restaurant downtown. I don't know why I want Miss Peach and Kane to get along? It's not like it means free sushi for me...and yet, there it is:P

Of course I ask Miss Beth who the little boy was...and it was Kane...figures:(

Miss Peach and I get home, and I ask..."Miss Peach, what happened today? Miss Beth tells me that you hit Kane. Why did you hit Kane? You know that we don't hit."

To which Miss Peach replies...(big sigh, and eye roll) "I don't know Mommy, I just yike him. I won't hit him anymore, but I just yike him." (Miss Peach pronounces "l's" as "y's". "Yike" means "Like" It's so cute I just want to squeeze her!)

First crush...can you stand it...I can't;)

Finding the Groove (not yet)

2009-09-23T22:02:00.004-05:00

I feel like I'm carrying a plate of spaghetti, and life came up and smacked the bottom. There are noodles flying everywhere!

This new preschool schedule for Miss Peach is kicking my a**!

I plunk the kiddos in the stroller, we hustle about 20 min. to school, drop her off...then I head out to play with The Little Man.

Little Man and I come home, I beg him to eat something other then "oh's" for lunchies, then I bribe him into nap time (yes, I bribe...I'm not proud, anything I can do to get kiddos to nap is a win in my book)

The way it's been going, right about the time The Little Man gets down, I have to wake him up to head back out on the march to pick Miss Peach up.

Press repeat Mon-Friday, and you have my schedule. It's been really hard to find the groove, ya know?

Oh, congrats to BurghBaby! You win the Prima Princessa Nutcracker DVD! Yay!!!

Art Talk

2009-09-20T21:37:00.004-05:00

I can't believe I forgot to share this with the class last week!

OK, Miss Peach has been doing a lot of painting at preschool. Remember, she LOVES painting...

Well, she came home the other day and said...

Miss Peach: "Mommy, today we painted in school, and I told my teacher all about Georgia O'Keeffe!"

Me: "Really, what did your teacher say?"

Miss Peach: "She said she hadn't seen Georgia's work." (Which between you and me, kinda surprised me...)

Me: "...and what did you tell her?"

Miss Peach: "I told her she really must go to the mooseseum (Miss Peach for museum) and see her work!"

How sweet and hilarious is that?:P

Oh, come back tom. to find out who will win the free dvd:)

Cat Fight er Fish Fight!

2009-09-17T20:57:00.004-05:00

There are days when I feel like I have been walking around with a "kick me" sign taped to my back...Today, was one of those days:P

I started swimming last year, as cross training for my marathon. Never have I been a swimmer, but I stuck with it. For real, it's a great workout, and one of the main things I LOVE about it is...once I put my head in the water...no one bothers me (no Mommy this, or Mommy that...bliss). Until today...

Nobody gave me any rules of the pool guide. It's pretty straight forward. Go to the pool, pick an open lane, swim. Not. Rocket. Science.

Today, I go to the pool. There is one end lane open. No one else is around, everyone was in the pool. I think to myself Score, I got the last lane, jump in, and start my laps.

All of the sudden, I get to the end of the pool, and this woman is towering over my lane, yelling at me:O

Lane Nazi: "I can't believe you stole my lane!!!"

Me: *blink, blink*

Lane Nazi: "Didn't you see my stuff here? I can't believe you would steal my lane?!?"

Me: "Look lady, there are kick boards and flippers everywhere. How was I supposed to know any of it was yours? No one was here...Like I'm supposed to know this was your lane, and sit and wait for you to come back?"

Lane Nazi: "I wasn't here, I went to the bathroom" (which is on another floor of the health club. She had gone to the pool first, dropped off her stuff to save the lane and left.)

Me: "I'm supposed to know this how? I had no idea you could reserve a lane...but if you need this lane, I'll move. I'm sorry if I crossed some lane reserving protocol:P"

Lane Nazi: "No, I don't want the lane anymore, I have another one. I just can't believe you would steal my lane!" (When I got there, there was only one lane open. By the time the Lane Nazi got there, other lanes opened up...leaving me to wonder why she was yelling at me???)

Me: "Look lady, I have apologized to you, and offered up the lane to you. I don't know what else I can do?"

Lane Nazi: *miffing and shaking her head as she walks back to her lane*

Me: *yelling across the pool* "You are way out of line!"

Here's how you know you are a blogger...I swam away thinking...I'll show you Lane Nazi B*tch...I am so blogging this. Like we are at West Beverly, I'm Naomi and I'm all "I will ruin you!" (Did I just admit I've been watching the new Bev. Hills 90210? Don't tell anyone...)

Well, you just know that I leave the pool, go take a shower, and come back to my locker to get dressed. Lane Nazi's locker is right. next. to. mine:P That just figures...seriously out of like six rows of lockers...she is right next to me. Who did I p*ss off today? I so don't deserve this.

Lane Nazi: "I just don't understand why you would do that?"

Me: *BIG sigh* "Lady, all I did was swim in an open lane...if this is the worst thing that happens to you today, chalk it up in the win column and call it a day. Get over it." (Then I flipped my hair like a total b*tch, turned around, and and walked on...)

Lane Nazi: *blink, blink*

BOO-YAH!!! (I get to BOO-YAH, right? I think I won that one?)

Ballerina Girl

2009-09-16T21:23:00.005-05:00

Do you know what this is? I will tell you...

It is a picture of Miss Peach in pure bliss:) Back in the haze of Blogher, I mentioned a dvd, Prima Princessa Presents Swan Lake. I am telling you, not only is Miss Peach dancing around my living room, but The Little Man is as well. Not to mention the fact that Mommy is more than a bit proud that both my children know Tchaikovsky is the composer of Swan Lake! (little smarty pants)

Well, the good folks at Prima Princessa have done it again with the equally fabulous Prima Princessa Presents The Nutcracker. I can't express how wonderful these dvd's are (think Sesame Street meets San Francisco Ballet performing Nutcracker)...I actually enjoy when the kiddos are watching it...The music is a nice change from The Backyardigans and The Wonder Pets:P

What I love most is that two stay at home moms put their heads together and came up with a winner. Stephanie and Mary Kate have been so cool as to offer a free dvd to someone in the comments. So leave me a comment and one of you will get The Nutcracker...Yay!

Larry?

2009-09-14T21:03:00.009-05:00

Come my people...let us worship at the Church of Bono...Yes, it looks like something from a War of the Worlds Invasion of Soldier Field (I would TOTALLY see that movie!) Bono said the actual concept behind "The Spaceship" was to be able to reach the crowd. OK.

First...the new Soldier Field is HUGE:O I'm not kidding you when I tell you that it took the Bro and I about 45 minutes to actually FIND our seats. Sorry Snow Patrol (opening act) but we made it to the stadium, just couldn't a get IN to the stadium. I felt like I was lost in some Twilight Zonian loop. Just cruel, architects of the new SF...why you gotta do me like that? (trust me when I tell you, you can not get from point A, to point B)

After climbing the Roman Columns, and making it to our seats, the lights went dark, and smoke starts pumping out of The Clawship. *que music*

"Ground control to Major Tom...

commencing countdown engines on...

check ignition and may God's love be with you..."

Can I just say I. LOVE. THAT. SONG? Hello Bowie, I love that song!

Out walks the boys. I gotta say, it kinda bummed me out that they opened with a chunk of new stuff. (I know the new album has a name, but I don't have it, I don't know it, I think it's kinda mediocre...sorry Bono.)

Then the jumbo screen closes in on drummer Larry Mullen...which proceeds to drive. me. crazy. for the rest of the night. 'Cause it doesn't look like Larry Mullen. (I have LOVED him since the 80's, I should know, even if I was in the 300 section!) YES, I drove the bro nutso with this.

"Dude...that's not Larry Mullen!"

"It's TOTALLY robo-Larry Mullen..."

"You know, clone-Larry Mullen is doing a pretty good job. Does he just hang out and wait for real-Larry to get sick?"

"Where is real-Larry Mullen?"

"So, they have a back up Larry, do you think they have a back up Bono?"

"What if Sting played the drums for U2, does Sting play drums? He probably wouldn't want to be the not-Larry"

"When Edge takes off his hat, do you think anyone recognizes him?"

Don'cha want to see a show with me? Yeah, I don't think the Bro does either:P

Long story short. The show was pretty good (just ask Avatar-Larry, he was there)

Fact of the matter is, the bar is set so high for U2, that even an OK show is pretty dog'gone spectacular (really, imitation-Larry would agree)

I have seen like, 7 U2 shows, and I think that we can all say...There is no topping Zoo TV Tour.

There I said it, and Poor Man's-Larry would tell you the same, just ask him.

perfect CD+perfect technology=perfect show

I am so not trashing the show, it was really, REALLY good. Bono knows how to rock the house (especially when the house is 80,000 strong) I would expect nothing less...he's BONO. (rest assured, I said "hi" from all of you, he said "hi" back)

You know...maybe that was Larry Mullen...

A "Poyem" by Miss Peach

2009-09-13T15:16:00.006-05:00

Fiona

A bed is so bouncy,
It's soft for your bum-bum to land on.
A pillow is so fluffy.
A lawnmower mows the grass...
It must be spring.

Written and recited by Miss Peach as she was bouncing on my bed...Brilliant, I think so:)

Best Mom in the World

2009-09-10T21:58:00.005-05:00

OK...remember when I left you hanging with the lame "that's a whole 'nother story" in my last post? Well...if you want to hear it...here it is...

Does your kiddo have a snuggie, or a stuffy? Miss Peach does. Mrs. Elephant is the first string, and Tinky Elephant is the second. Daddy took Miss Peach, and The Little Man to Michigan to visit Grandma for the day. You guessed it...she HAD to bring both Mrs E. and Tinky.

The. Last. Thing. I said to Husband was "be sure you bring home the Elephants".

I am assuming that is why they came home WITHOUT them!:O

So let's get this picture into focus for you. I have to tell my daughter, who is getting up in the morning to go to preschool, for the first time, for the full day...that she can't bring her elephants with her because they were left in Michigan. Yeah, that should go over well...NOT! (Did I mention she has NEVER spent the night without them...since she was born?)

I talked her off the ceiling (and that took some talking).

Basically, the only way the world was going to keep turning, was if I drove 2 hours out to Michigan to pick up her team, and then drove 2 hours back to pick her up from preschool with the elephants in tow.

That is what The Little Man and I did. All I have to say is...The Little Man is a trooper.

Really, all I had to do was bribe him with McDonald's...but he's still a trooper;P

Miss Peach bravely went to preschool without the elephants...they met her at the end of the day...and all was right with the world:)

(Oh...and I get major Mom points for that one...either that, or I need my head examined!)