By Steven

Many of us would love to work for ourselves but such a step is unlikely, if not entirely impossible.  The problem with working for ourselves isn’t that we cannot do it, it is that our perspective on what it means to be our own boss is slightly skewed.  What if I told you that you could work for yourself without even quitting your job?

That is exactly what I am going to tell you!  You can work for yourself without even quitting your job! How?  It is all about modifying your perspective on what it means to work for yourself.  When we think of working for ourselves, we think about working from home in our underwear or creating a passive income so that we can lounge on the beach while we make bank.

Dreams are nice, but for most people what I described above will only ever be a dream.  Not because it is impossible but because there are limiting factors in our lives (mostly self-imposed, but that is for another time).  Most of us will never realize such a reality, yet, we can still work for ourselves every single day of our lives.

What does it mean, then, to work for yourself if not to become an entrepreneur?  Again, it is all about perspective.  We need to ask ourselves only one simple question:

“Who do I work for?”

Once we answer this question honestly we can begin to ask ourselves how to change.

Most people will answer this question with the name of the company which employs them and while this is not entirely false, I would say that it is not a good answer.  The company that signs your paycheck simply provides you with a source of income and benefits.  You trade your time and energy in exchange for monetary reimbursement but is that really the same as working for them?

Maybe you are confused, and you should be.  We have been raised to believe that because we are employed by a company we work for them.  This is just not true.  The relationship is simply an arrangement between two parties which mutually benefit from one another.

Working for someone really depends on where that money is going, rather than how you earn it. Exchange of services for monetary reimbursement might equate to work but “doing work” and “working for” are not synonymous.  So, ask yourself again,

“Who do I work for?”

Now that we are able to see that though we are employed by a company and they pay us for our services, we are not working for them. Beyond an exchange of services, the relationship ceases.  The answer depends on where your money goes.  Who are you paying?

Is your paycheck going to Visa, Fanny Mae and countless other corporations which you are indebted to?  This is who you work for. These companies are your boss.   And all this time you have been venting your frustrations about the wrong people!

It is time to fire your bosses and begin working for yourself.

It can start today.  Create a budget, spend less than you earn and live within your means.  Adopt a lifestyle of frugality and begin paying down your debts as fast as possible and stop adding new debt to the pile.  Reign in your spending habits and stop buying stuff you don’t need.

Adopting these few simple principles can allow you to begin working for yourself sooner than you might think and from this point on, you can walk into work knowing that you are working for yourself, that you are your own boss and that your relationship with your employer is simply an exchange of services.

There is great power in working for yourself.  You have control over your destiny. You no longer need to rely on your employer to provide a paycheck.  You have the freedom to seek other opportunities.

The day you become debt-free is the day when “ME!” becomes the answer to the question, “Who do I work for?”

Author bio: this article was written by Steven, author of Hundred Goals, a blog about achieving your goals while managing your finances. Steven writes about traveling the world while completing a life list of 100+ goals including skydiving and becoming debt free.

By Tara Sophia Mohr

Most of us learned early in life that “thinking about it” is always a good idea. That is what reasonable, intelligent people do when they have a big decision in front of them, right? They think about it.

The truth is that quite often, when it comes to the big questions in our lives — Should I take the job? Should I start the business? Should I marry her? Should I relocate? — thinking gets us stuck.

By thinking, I don’t mean all neurological activity. I mean our everyday definition of thinking: the furrowed brow, fist at chin, solitary activity in which we muse on a subject, evaluate pros and cons, make internal arguments and then supposedly “figure it out.” This often leaves us more confused than when we started, further away from our own answers.

I see this frequently as a coach, as a friend, and I know it from my own experience too. I once took a month to “think about” what kind of job I wanted, and ended the month with no new insights, just a little crazy from all that time I sat at home “thinking about it.” I see coaching clients and friends taking time to “think about” what they want to do next, and getting really lost and bummed out in the process. I have a friend who drove herself into a huge pit of stress and upset “thinking about” whether she wanted to marry her boyfriend or not.

When thinking is helping you find clear answers that feel right to you, excellent! Feel free to use it. I’m certainly not anti-thinking. But when approaching a question by thinking about it is leading you down a road that feels repetitive, narrowing, overwhelming, or crazy-making, try these other tools:

1. Simmer

Simmering is a way of processing that is less conscious and deliberate than thinking. When we simmer on something, we sit with it over a period of time. We let our full mind – conscious and unconscious – work on it while we go about our lives. We cook it, just as we would a stew on the stove.

Like an oven timer going off, simmering sometimes results in a new insight or answer “popping up”  when we least expect it–often while we are immersed in some unrelated, absorbing activity. It can also slowly build an answer over time, like flavors gradually developing in a stew, settling into a rich taste.

2. Experiment

Experiments allow us to gather information from lived experience, not mental reasoning. They test out new ideas, behaviors, or approaches. If you are contemplating transitioning to a new field, instead of “thinking about it,” take a class on the subject, do related freelance work, or spend time with the kinds of people you’d be working with. If you think you might want to take up piano again, instead of “thinking about it,” just go play one within 48 hours, and see how it feels. Notice what you learned from the experiment.

3. Write

Most of us won’t write the same things over and over again, but we often get stuck thinking the same thoughts things over and over again. In this sense, writing moves us past our mental loops.

In addition, when we read our words on the page, we have the opportunity to observe our own thoughts. Observing our thoughts will always provide more insight and forward movement than thinking them.

4. Share

Sharing forces us to clarify our beliefs, desires and unanswered questions. Just as writing helps us get perspective on our thoughts because we literally see them, sharing helps get perspective because we hear ourselves.

Find a great listener who can create a space for you to share. Or, be bold and ask a good friend to participate with you in a 20-minute conversation with special rules: You share. They ask you short, simple open-ended (not yes/no) questions back to help you probe your ideas further. No statements on their part – just questions. You can exchange the favor, helping them explore an important topic in their life.

5. Check Your Gut

As a coach, I can’t tell you how often I’ve heard clients come in overwhelmed by all the pros and cons and possibilities that thinking has led them to, when the answer is actually already within them, and is ready to emerge as soon as I ask, “What does your gut say?” Ask yourself this question, and be open to the answer – even when it is uncomfortable or scares the hell out of you.

If you feel disconnected from your instinct and can’t hear it (which commonly happens), put your attention to the place in your body where you feel it. You can also place your hands there. Take a few breaths, release tension in your body, and then tune in to your gut instinct and see what information is waiting for you. Hint: Your gut’s answers are simple. No long explanations needed.

Simmer. Experiment. Write. Share. Check Your Gut. You may find that one or two of these tools work best for you. Here’s my suggestion. Don’t decide which of these to use by thinking about it. Instead, check your gut, or experiment with a couple.

And, yes, how could I not say it? Please don’t think too much about this piece.

Love,

Tara

Author bio: Tara Sophia Mohr is a writer and coach who loves to help people discover their unique brilliance and bring it to life in the world. Tara’s work brings together her training as coach, years studying Shakespeare and poetry, an MBA education from Stanford, and her own personal pursuit of living simply and wisely. Tara blogs  at www.mohrcoaching.com. You can sign up for her free Goals Guide here: http://bit.ly/bkw8Wm.

By Karl Staib

When it’s cold we want to hibernate, stay tucked under the covers and just sleep. We know this happens every year, but every time winter sets in we get those blues that we can’t escape. It’s like Pepé Le Pew chasing after us.

I know what I’m talking about because my winter blues were my arch nemesis when I lived in Pennsylvania. My depressive state would kick in from any little thing, a somewhat negative comment from a co-worker or a rejection of an idea at work. I always walked a thin line that could break at any moment.

I was happy during the weekends because I had the freedom to stay underneath the covers and ignore the rest of the world, but as soon as Sunday night came around the work blues would start. The work week would begin and the negative thoughts would envelope me like Pepé Le Pew’s smell.

“If depression is creeping up and must be faced, learn something about the nature of the beast: You may escape without a mauling.” – Dr. R. W. Shepherd

I learned some techniques that should help you hold off those winter blues and maybe even appreciate them.

1. Get Out in the Weather

My cousin taught me a valuable lesson a long time ago (10 years. Just feels like a long time. Even a past life.) I was down on myself. My confidence was low and work was dragging. 9 hours felt like 12.

He convinced me to go on a winter camping hike. I bought a 0 degree sleeping bag, high altitude burner to boil water and cook meals with, and a bunch of little stuff like quality thermal wear and socks. The first night we slept on snow. It was freaking cold. I’m not going to lie – I was miserable. But after the third and last day, while hiking back down the mountain my mood lifted. I was saying “heeelloooo” to everyone we passed.

When I went into work the next day I had this vigor back in my blood. I wasn’t going to let the cold stop me from enjoying life.

I brought my heavy coat, hiking shoes, and winter hat each day and trekked through the neighborhood during lunch. I looked forward to this exploration each morning and it helped me relax every afternoon. By getting out and staring the cold in the eye I stopped letting my trepidation take over. I was back on top.

2. Make a Winter Ritual

Every fall when winter comes rolling in, I find that I begin a ritual. I find a lot of happiness in this ritual. I move my winter shirts to the front of my closet so I can see them, and I pull out my winter gear.

One of my favorite pieces of clothing is an old Browns knitted winter hat that I’ve had since I’ve been 14. Each time I put it on old memories and feelings come rushing back. It’s like I’m getting a hug from my mother, father, brother and friends all at the same time. I look forward to this time of year because of this hat.

See what patterns have emerged and how you can create a ritual to put a smile back on your face. Find a way to enjoy your preparations, which will reduce dread and increase positive feelings.

3. Take a Vacation (Preferably someplace Sunny)

You need a break from the grind that is your daily job. If you don’t take a break, your motivation will dip so far that you might not be able to recover.

I have a friend who is the a video editor for TV shows, documentaries and whoever else will pay him. When he works, it can mean grueling 12 hour days in front of a computer screen spent analyzing every little detail. He makes really good money. You have to when you’re living in NY. He also gets so stressed out that his body rebels.

So he goes on some exotic vacation to a new land every few months. His big trip is always in the winter. The prices are cheap. It’s his way of relieving the pain and gearing himself back up for work. He needs that time to himself, so he will usually go alone because he needs to do what he wants to do.

You probably also build up mental and physical pain through the winter. So try getting away (preferably some place sunny) and giving yourself that healthy relief that only a warm atmosphere can provide. The sun is very important to our sanity. We need it’s warmth to give us a break from Seasonal Affective Disorder (Mayo Clinic Link).

4. Swap Winter Blues Stories with Friends (Call it the Winter Blues Festival)

I’m a fan of dark beer, especially in the winter time. There are some comforting properties in it or something that I don’t think are scientifically proven, but very much real.

The winter blues can actually be fun when shared with the right people. For me, that means buying a six pack and/or sitting by a fire as we complain about our lives. The complaining never lasts that long because we usually get ourselves laughing, turning our moods more positive.

Let your emotions out with a friend. Talk about the pain that is going on. Then once you’ve released the pressure, focus on some of the good things that your job, life and relationships have to offer.

5. Notice the Benefits

The winter brings many benefits with it. My favorite benefit is my contemplative nature. It’s as if my mind goes into a cocoon and comes out even stronger in the spring.

Have you ever noticed how your thoughts change in the winter?

Watch how you feel, think and react to people and situations. You may be more somber, relaxed, depressed, moody, or what have you. Use this time to get creative with your thoughts.

Run with them. If you notice that you are more somber then don’t judge, but see where it leads. When you try to force happiness, you only make yourself feel worse.

By running with what the winter offers, you can let your creativity out in new ways. You may be more somber, but maybe you are less uptight about projects and can find solutions that you wouldn’t be able to see in the spring or summer.

6. Create a Winter Project

One of my less acclaimed, but most enjoyable projects was a picture book called “92 Things to do Besides Suicide.” A total of seven people bought it. I think it was six friends and one of my readers from an old blog. If you join my free e-course then email me that you have I’ll email you the photo of when I decided to use Vaseline to sick cotton balls on my face. Yes, it was a little weird, but that is why it was so much fun.

I started this project because I was depressed. I hated my job, life and thoughts. I was a miserable young man. That’s where the concept came from. I wanted to use this negative energy and make it into something more positive.

What mattered is that it focused my energy on doing something fun. If I could help just one person take a fresh look at their depressing life and make them laugh, it was all worth it.

7. Read a Good Book During Your Lunch Break

I’m talking about a book that really makes you think as well as entertain. I’ve read so many good books that have changed my life that I stopped counting.

If you want a great story from a fresh perspective, try reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower. This story is told through letters written to you by a kid having trouble in high school. The only person who can understand his problems is you – the reader.

If you want down to earth philosophy about enjoying the present moment then read Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind. It’s filled with ideas that make you look at how you handle thoughts, emotions and actions.

If you want philosophy with a great story then read Fountainhead. It’s a little long, but worth the effort. It doesn’t shy away from helping you see how powerful and wonderful you can be.

That’s why I prefer books over movies. Very few movies have really helped me see life from a new perspective, and even when they do, the effect usually doesn’t last more than a few hours. Books change the way I deal with my life.

Winter Blues Should Be Enjoyed

Your blues are a part of your winter journey. If you didn’t get a little sad then spring wouldn’t feel so glorious. So be there all the way. Really listen to your thoughts and see where they take you.

Instead of going out to eat with your friends, try mixing it up and trying one of these suggestions. I know that you’ll have a new appreciation for those blues that will help make life interesting.

Author bio: Karl Staib helps people bring passion back into their work: Work Happy Now! If you enjoyed this article, you may like to subscribe to his Free 10 week E-course or follow him on Twitter.

By Christopher R. Edgar

While we’re working, we often get so absorbed in our projects that we forget about our breathing.  When this happens, particularly when we’re under stress, we can lapse into restricted breathing—inhaling in short gasps, or shallowly into the upper chest.  What we don’t often realize is that how we breathe can deeply affect our efficiency and enjoyment in what we do.  In this post, I’ll offer three breathing techniques to help you stay focused and peaceful as you work.

1.  Breathe Through The Urge

Productivity writers often tell us to resist the urge to put off our work, but they usually don’t offer much practical advice on how to do that.  In my experience working with people on productivity issues, we often procrastinate when an uncomfortable thought or sensation— anxiety or anger, for instance—comes up as we’re working, and we’d rather not experience it.  We need, I think, some way to stay centered even when faced with those intense thoughts and feelings.

I’ve found that the best approach in these moments is to breathe deeply.  Instead of turning away from your task to play FreeCell or instant message with friends, hold your attention on what you’re doing, and take full breaths until the difficult sensation passes away.  If you start feeling anxious as you’re working, for instance, breathe slowly and deeply until the anxiety dissipates.

When we keep breathing in the face of discomfort, often the difficult sensations we’re feeling seem more manageable and less threatening.  As Dr. Miriam Adahan puts it in Living With Difficult People, Including Yourself, “when you keep breathing calmly or moving purposefully, your muscles will teach your brain that there is no real danger.”

2.  Focus On Your Breathing

Zen meditators often concentrate on their breathing to stay alert, and keep their minds from drifting into memories or concerns about the future.  What I’ve found is that this technique isn’t just useful for meditation—it also works great whenever we find ourselves getting distracted at work.  We can focus on our breathing to bring our attention back to this moment, and to what we’re doing.

Many meditation teachers explain why this technique works by observing that, whenever we focus our attention on what’s happening in our bodies, our awareness naturally settles into the present.  If I ask you to pay attention to your breathing, you probably won’t start daydreaming about the way you used to breathe five years ago—you’ll focus on the act and experience of breathing right now.  When your attention returns to the present, the memories and worries that may have been bothering you fade into the background.

3.  Notice How You Restrict Your Breathing

If you’re feeling tense or uncomfortable as you’re working, take a moment and notice how you’re breathing.  Are you breathing shallowly and rapidly, into your throat or chest?  Are you making breathing difficult by clenching any muscles?  Some people I know check in with their bodies periodically as they’re working and discover they’re hardly breathing at all.

When we aren’t allowing ourselves enough air, it’s no surprise that working feels painful and worrisome.  If you notice that you’re breathing in a shallow or restricted way, see if you can slow and deepen your breaths, and let go of any tension that’s cutting off the natural flow of your respiration.  Working becomes easier and more fulfilling, I think you’ll find, when you breathe fully as you do it.

Author Bio

Chris Edgar is the author of Inner Productivity: A Mindful Path to Efficiency and Enjoyment in Your Work, which uses insights from mindfulness practice and psychology to help readers develop focus and motivation in what they do.  You can find out more about the book and Chris’s work at www.InnerProductivity.com.

By Vlad Dolezal

“Mediocrity is the worst enemy of greatness.” – Icelandic proverb

Imagine you sit down on a hot radiator. In a few seconds, you will feel intense heat on your bum, jump up, curse, then go sit down somewhere else. And you’ll be ok.

Now imagine you’re in an uncomfortably hot room. But you’re feeling lazy, and the discomfort isn’t quite enough to make you get up and open the window or turn down the heating. So you stay, uncomfortable, for hours…

A lot of people live their life like that. Doing alright, not entirely comfortable… but not bothered enough to do anything about it.

And just like in the above example, that usually leads to more discomfort in the long run than the sharp painful situation. Because unless you know a few clever tricks (covered below), mediocrity will make you complacent.

A simple test to see how your life is right now

How you’re doing can be lumped in three basic categories:

• awful
• mediocre
• great

(Yes, that’s a pretty obvious and arbitrary lumping, but you’ll see in a second how it’s useful.)

And as we saw at the beginning… mediocre can sometimes be worse than awful, because it doesn’t compel you to take action. It’s not great, but it’s not painful enough to make you get up and do something about it.

Okay, here’s the test:

When somebody asks you “How are you?”, what do you usually answer?

A friend of mine brought this to my attention recently. She pointed out that every time we meet and she asks how I am, I answer “Awesome!”.

So I gave it some thought, and I realized it’s because I AM doing awesome every time we meet!

There’s always something exciting going on in my life. Maybe I’ve been fire-breathing with my friends recently, or I took on a new batch of life coaching clients, or I went to a great swing dancing party…

I don’t mean to brag about how awesome my life is. I just want to see that how you’re doing will fundamentally affect how you answer the “how are you?” question. (And conversely, the words you use will affect how you feel)

Here are some typical answers I get from people for different zones:

Have some fun with this! One day, notice how many people answer in each zone (and keep a tally). You might be surprised by the results.

How to escape mediocrity

So you’re doing alright, chugging along. Your life isn’t awful, but it’s not that great either.

How do you give yourself that kick on the bum to get motivated to make your life great?

It comes down to the pain and pleasure principle, (which I’ll sum up for you in a moment).

Mediocrity is a horrible insidious trap, because it doesn’t quite give you the discomfort to get you moving and changing.

Sitting down on a radiator will get you moving in a few seconds, because of the intense pain which motivates you to change your circumstances. And a minute or two later you’re doing just fine. Yet you can sit in an uncomfortably hot room for hours.

Same with a mediocre life – you can get trapped for years, living an alright existence. It’s not something that will get you to jump up excited out of bed at 5 in the morning, but at the same time it’s not painful enough to make you jump up and shout “I WILL CHANGE!”

So let’s get you motivated to live the life you really want!

It’s all about the emotional motivation

You can think about the logical reasons for changing all day long. But motivation comes from deep in your gut – from your emotions.

As I discuss in more detail in How to Conquer Fear, the emotional part of your brain doesn’t respond to logical reasons. It responds to vivid images and movies you make in your head.

The key to kicking up your motivation isn’t to find more logical reasons. The key is to start imagining how great your life will be if you change, and how horrible it will be if you keep going the way you’re going, until you jump up and shout “I WILL CHANGE!”

Kick up the relative pain and pleasure (don’t skip this)

Take a few moments to answer the following questions, and really imagine the answers. This alone will give you a mighty motivational kick on the bum to move you towards greatness. And doing it right now will drive this principle deep into your subconscious, so you can benefit from it later. (I want you take away something real from reading this article.)

Okay, let’s get started:

…

What would change give you? What would your “great” life look like?

Take a few moments to imagine it. Earning money doing something you love. Spending free time doing something you love. Being with people you will love hanging out with.

Imagine it now.

…

Okay, come back.

Now take a few moments to imagine what your life will be like if you keep living in mediocrity. Keeping an “alright” job. Living an “alright” life.

Where will you be in 20 years, if you keep living like that?

…

Now image being on your death bed, thinking about your life behind you. How will you feel if you live a life in alignment with your core values? What will you have achieved?

How about a mediocre life. What will you see when you reach your deathbed? What will your life have been like? Would you be happy with it?

Escaping mediocrity is about what you want

Living a great life doesn’t mean influencing millions of people or being famous or being super-rich. At least not for everyone.

Living a great life is about living in alignment with your values. Doing something you love.

A great life is when you wake up excited every morning, and go to sleep content every night. A great life is when you know you’ve done a great job each day, each week… and that you’re truly living the life you want.

Isn’t that worth changing for? Facing a bit of discomfort?

That’s up to you to answer. Because in the end, your life won’t change until you want it to change.

Author bio: Vlad Dolezal writes a blog about making personal development fun. Check it out to improve your life while having fun, or follow Vlad on twitter.

By Srinivas Rao

In the 8 months since I started my blog I’ve gotten to know dozens of bloggers. While each one has his or her own unique interests and opinions, I think it’s fair to say we all agree on one thing: a blog is a phenomenal personal development tool. Here are some reasons why:

Goal Setting: Setting goals is a fundamental component of any personal development program. While there are a few different variations, it really comes down to one basic idea: write down your goals. A blog provides a great platform for writing down your goals and provides a place where you can review them on a regular basis.

Accountability: When you share your goals on your blog, you will benefit from the accountability that comes with telling people about your goals. I wrote a marketing plan for my blog at the end of December. Any time somebody comments on the plan, I feel much more compelled to check if I’m actually sticking to that plan.

Tracking Progress: Since you will be reviewing your goals almost daily in some capacity, a blog will give you a great platform for tracking your progress towards a particular goal. Let’s say you have an income goal. You could write a monthly blog post where you publish your income report. After you have written that post for a few months you will have a progress report.

Feedback: Feedback is one of the most powerful reasons a blog is an awesome personal development tool. Let’s say you are working towards a particular goal and you are continually spinning your wheels. A blog gives you the perfect platform to get some feedback from people who may have accomplished exactly what you are trying to accomplish. It can actually save you years of trial and error in getting to your goals.

Mastermind: Almost by default, when you become a blogger you become part of a mastermind group of like-minded people. We might have many different subjects that we write about and we might have our blog for different reasons. But at the end of the day we’re part of a community full of people who want to help each other succeed and accomplish our goals. Regardless of what you are trying to do with your blog you’ll find so many people you can reach out to who are more than willing to help you. Paying it forward comes with the territory.

Relationships: The relationships you form as a blogger will have a tremendous impact on your life personally and professionally. You will not only evolve as a person, but you will have a network of contacts that is not limited by geographic boundaries. A month back, one of the bloggers I know lost his job. The outpouring of help was so strong that another blogger even wrote a blog post about why an employer should hire the blogger who lost his job. Considering half of us have never met in person, that should give you an idea of what a profound influence these relationships can have on your life.

Commitment and Consistency: When it comes down to it, commitment and consistency are fundamental to getting anywhere with personal development. A blog can bring commitment and consistency into your life. If you expect to go through a course once and have your life dramatically changed, it’s time for a reality check. Yes, all this personal development stuff does work. If you really want to use your subconscious to make a change, you just have to do it as often as you brush your teeth. EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Do I think everybody should start a blog? Absolutely. You don’t need to do it for the money. Use it as a platform for personal growth. The money is just a fringe benefit. According to my friend Nicole Crimaldi, a blog is one of the best career insurance policies you could ever invest in. Get started today and in 6 months you’ll be blown away by how much your life has changed.

Do you have a blog? If so, has it helped with your personal development? Please share your experiences in the comments below.

Author bio: Srinivas Rao is the co-founder and host of BlogcastFM, a podcast for bloggers. He also obsesses about riding waves and finds continual inspiration in the ocean for everything on his personal development blog, The Skool of Life.