The Captains Memos

Stunt Rock

Captain Flintheart — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 12:30:05 +0000

Could this be the greatest movie ever made? Check out this trailer and judge for yourself: Citizen Kane, this is not. A true TCM movie in every sense of the word. Explosions, death defying stunt, babes, terrible dialogue, awful acting and concert footage with Wizards. What more could you really ask for?

WTF Is Wrong With The World?

Captain Yar — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 18:30:09 +0000

Plenty. Well, let’s see…douchebags, Ke$ha, yeast infections, getting a boner in public and so fourth. This list could go on. But luckily for you there definitely are worse things wrong with this world. This website definitely shows you what is wrong with the world in a very, let’s say, straight forward way. So head on [...]

How much would someone pay you to have sex with Sarah Palin?

Captain Yar — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 12:30:33 +0000

This website was a little more “polite” about asking that question. It was more along the lines of “How much would someone pay you to vote for Sarah Palin?”. I thought that question was stupid so I asked myself how much would someone pay me to have sex with Sarah Palin. After a few minutes [...]

Prank calls by yep you guessed it, a turtle.

Captain Yar — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 18:21:52 +0000

So let’s say you have a friend who has a fear of turtles for some odd ass reason. Maybe they were raped by one when they were a child, it can happen. Well, you can turn their fears into nightmares by having a turtle prank call them. For only $2, you can have a turtle [...]

Captain Yar’s Top 5 Celebrity Crushes

Captain Yar — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 12:30:38 +0000

#5 – Julie Benz If you all watch the show, Dexter amongst other shows/movies she has been in you will know she is pretty hot. Her roles are usually the same throughout her career (well, from what I’ve seen). An innocent woman that is out for the better good. Hence, Dexter, Rambo and The Boondock [...]

Sgt. Vader’s Lonely Star Wars Band

Captain Flintheart — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 12:30:40 +0000

Consider this a complete reversal from a previous photo of the day.

Captain Flintheart’s Top 5 Celebrity Crushes

Captain Flintheart — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 12:30:10 +0000

Captain Flintheart likes his female celebrities two ways. Either fantastic looking and classy as hell like the actresses of yesteryear (more on that on a future post) or fully stocked, thick and robust. As a rule I’m not interested in ridiculously skinny girls, ESPECIALLY if you can see her ribs. In fact, you may remember [...]

This Was My Biggest Childhood Fear

Captain Flintheart — Fri, 30 Sep 2011 12:30:22 +0000

When I was a very young kid, the man pictured below had an “educational” tv show. His name was Slim Goodbody and he terrified me to death. In fact, he was my number one fear at the time. I would cry and beg my parents to turn it off anytime his show was on. Seeing [...]