This week we talk about:

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Thanks gang.

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This week we ramble and talk about our favorite things from this last year as well as the things we are looking forward to in 2012.

This week we talk about:

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A bunch of stuff but I lost the show notes, sue me.

This week we talk about:

Guido Fawkes
Playing with the big boys – Update
ask and you shall receive.
Fuck Michigan

This week we talk about:

This week we talk about:

]]> http://the-bunker.net/2011/transmissions-ep-116-flatbread-pizza/feed/ 0 This week we talk about: - WTFNetflix? WTFFacebook? (WTFSpecialEpisode?) WTFNeutrino? WTFSuspect? WTFDeath? WTFAids? This week we talk about: WTFNetflix? WTFFacebook? (WTFSpecialEpisode?) WTFNeutrino? WTFSuspect? WTFDeath? WTFAids? Satyr yes 69:43 http://the-bunker.net/2011/transmissions-ep-115-troll-thief/ http://the-bunker.net/2011/transmissions-ep-115-troll-thief/#comments Tue, 20 Sep 2011 02:18:39 +0000 Satyr http://the-bunker.net/?p=2511
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]]> http://the-bunker.net/2011/transmissions-ep-114-pew-pew-lasers/feed/ 0 This week we talk about: - Stupid Facebook tricks Japan, you crazy. This is getting interesting IT BURNS! Rockstar email Well, theres a twist. death of social media What? What? In the butt? Never Forget This week we talk about: Stupid Facebook tricks Japan, you crazy. This is getting interesting IT BURNS! Rockstar email Well, theres a twist. death of social media What? What? In the butt? Never Forget Satyr yes http://the-bunker.net/2011/transmissions-ep-113-tangential/ http://the-bunker.net/2011/transmissions-ep-113-tangential/#comments Mon, 05 Sep 2011 23:28:01 +0000 Satyr http://the-bunker.net/?p=2500
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]]> http://the-bunker.net/2011/transmissions-ep-113-tangential/feed/ 0 This week we talk about:  - From Roe via FB It's cause they’re white ... Right? a bit of the real This week we talk about:  From Roe via FB It's cause they’re white ... Right? a bit of the real Satyr yes 93:18 http://the-bunker.net/2011/transmissions-ep-112-where-is-my-wood/ http://the-bunker.net/2011/transmissions-ep-112-where-is-my-wood/#comments Tue, 30 Aug 2011 01:47:04 +0000 Satyr http://the-bunker.net/?p=2486
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]]> http://the-bunker.net/2011/transmissions-ep-112-where-is-my-wood/feed/ 0 This week we talk about: - That’s just low. Welp, there goes the planet. wtfbbq? This week we talk about: That’s just low. Welp, there goes the planet. wtfbbq? Satyr yes 85:53 http://the-bunker.net/2011/transmissions-ep-111-twittard/ http://the-bunker.net/2011/transmissions-ep-111-twittard/#comments Tue, 23 Aug 2011 02:11:11 +0000 Satyr http://the-bunker.net/?p=2481

This week we talk about:

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Now, I do like the electronic music.  This is a fact about me.

In terms of Devo, I think they’re vastly under appreciated for their contribution to electronic music and just general badassery.  *new word!*

Just sayin’.

(If Satyr agrees with me, he will not delete this post.)

(Aside — egads, I’m putting a lot of brand names in this post.  Royalties?  Think not.)

We’ll see what happens when the dust settles.

This week we talk about:

I am a nerd.
I know what the problem is.
The big “Live Help” button was far too tempting though…

The following was our conversation, without comment. I think the damage does itself.

New party (‘Satyr JustSatyr’) has joined the session: Welcome to FAFSA on the Web Customer Service Live Help!Satyr JustSatyr: I am having browser compatibility issues and am very confused, please help.
New party (‘Linda ****’) has joined the session: Thank you for contacting the Federal Student Aid Information Center.  I’m Linda Peel, your online Customer Service Representative.  Give me a minute to review your question, and I’ll do my best to assist you.
Linda ****: Thank you, just a moment please.
Linda ****: Okay.
Linda ****: What is the exact wording of the error you are receiving?
Satyr JustSatyr: hello Linda
Satyr JustSatyr: I have tried on several updated browsers and I keep getting this page when I click “start now” https://fafsa.ed.gov/FAFSA/app/errors?page=incompatibleBrowser
Linda ****: To view our site, you’ll actually need older versions of browsers. You can view a list of compatible configurations here:  http://www.fafsa.ed.gov/help/beforebrowser_req.htm
Linda ****: Our web site has been known to work best on a Windows XP or Vista computer using Internet Explorer versions 6 or 7.
Satyr JustSatyr: um
Satyr JustSatyr: ok, I only have access to a computer with windows 7 and the current versions of browsers
Satyr JustSatyr: is there anything I can do beyond downgrading that might fix this?
Linda ****: Due to security concerns, your browser configuration is not officially supported by our web site. Feel free to continue to attempt to use our site with your current browser; however we cannot guarantee full functionality.
Linda ****: If you can’t download compatible browsers or use a different computer, we do have the option of filing on paper.
Satyr JustSatyr: security concerns? I don’t mean so sound rude but IE 6 and 7 are full of security holes in the code. Seems a bit strange no?
Linda ****: We can mail you a form, or you may print out a PDF version of our form.
Linda ****: Would you like me to mail you a form sir?
Linda ****: You can also get a paper form at www.fafsa.ed.gov.
Linda ****: Click the link on the home page that says “FAFSA filing options.”
Linda ****: Is there anything else I can help you with?
Satyr JustSatyr: I know it’s not your fault. I’m ok, I can get the paper forms. Can I request this issue be brought to the web team that handles the site?
Linda ****: For assistance with making a complaint about this particular issue we suggest calling in to the Federal Student Aid Information Center for further help. Please call 1-800-433-3243.
Linda ****: Is there anything else I can help you with?
Linda ****: Are you there?  If I do not get a response from you soon I will have to end this session so that I can assist other customers.
Linda ****: I have not received a response from you, so I am assuming you are no longer available for this session.  I will be ending this session now.  Thank you for contacting the Federal Student Aid Information Center. If you have further questions please contact us again Monday-Friday 8:00am until 12:00 midnight, Saturday from 9:00am until 8:00pm, and Sunday 1:00pm to 7:00pm Eastern time. You can contact us via live chat or over the phone at 1-800-433-3243.
Party (‘Linda ****’) has left the session.Party (‘Satyr JustSatyr’) has left the session.Live Help was finished

I would like to point out that the time that elapsed between her saying “Is there anything else I can help you with?” and leaving that chat was not enough time for me to type out “Nope I am good, thank you for the help and have a wonderful night!”

Read it how you will. I got a few lulz.

This week we talk about:

Old news, but still amazing
Can we be done yet?
But it…I mean…
Guess we kind of have to.
goodbye DADT, dont let the door hit ya.
Steam sale, server fail.
Last big hurray

This Week We Talk About:

Here we go again.
well duh.
Irony
Nielsen update.
Google+
Big gay test

Gaming
Wow is free…kinda.
good or bad?

This week we TRY and talk about:

Pastor is BACK!
Stitcher
NY respects human rights
Lulzsec pisses everyone off. then quits.
or are they running scared from HBGary?
pedobear?
HDR…video?
THATS how you get your guitar back.
Team Fortress 2 free
L.A. Noire
goodbye galaxies
Eve Online-Virtual Riots

Whose who know what it is and does. Have at it any way you see fit.
For those that don’t…click here.

This week we talk about:

E3
How is that working out for ya Activision?
PWNT!
Good on ya, Russia
Because it wasn’t pointless enough
For teh lulz
NARWHALS NARWHALS SWIMMIN IN DEE OSHUN!
Best Commercial Ever

I just wanted to drop everyone a quick note to thank you.
It blows my mind to think that it was two years ago tonight that I sat down in front of my mic and started spewing forth my nonsense into the void of the internet. There are a lot of you that have been here since day one and I want to send out special love to you. Thank you for listening through the rough bits and putting up with me when I get out of line.
There are a lot of you that have  joined up along the way. Some of you are extremely active with the community and some are not involved beyond listening. Both of these options are amazing and every day I count each and every one of your earlids as blessings.
We have grown quite a bit over the last two years  and have the scars of the growing pains to prove it. I only hope that the path we have carved over the last two years makes more sense in hindsight than it did while doing it.
I don’t consider  this a birthday for me or this thing I do with Pastor every week. I consider this the birthday of the community we create every day with one another. So I say to you…

Happy Birthday Gang!

I’m assuming most of you are like me and aren’t what I would call the “outdoorsy” type (Oddly enough I make friends with a ton of outdoorsy people, but that’s a blog for another day).  I mean sure if there’s a festival or an occasion I may spend some time in a park, but just going outside of my own free will to enjoy the day?  There’s just not a lot of benefit for a nerd like me.  So I spend time in my room, on the computer.

Yet there’s only so much music, video gaming, and internet surfing I can do.  I mean seriously, Battletoads just isn’t funny anymore.  I’ve been looking for something else, anything else to occupy my time.

And I rediscovered something.  An old passion that I had overlooked due to lack of funds but thanks to the digital age has been reignited.  Comic books.

My love for comics started soon after I started to read.  My Dad showed me the “funnies” in the newspaper and taught me which ones were funny.  I read all of them, even the ones I didn’t get at 5 years old (Cathy has always sucked).   But I couldn’t get enough of ‘em.  It was just as big a part of my life as cartoons on television.  Well, that eventually progressed into comic books (especially those of Ninja Turtles/Sonic the Hedgehog).

Cut me some slack, I was 6.

It also helped that when I was growing up half of the Saturday morning cartoons were based on comics, quickly getting me into Spider-man, X-Men, and Batman (the batman series still holds up today actually).

No show will ever be this badass again.  Ever.

Well years go by and I read a comic here and there when I find trade paperbacks at the local library. Then at some point in college my uncle let me borrow his copy of Preacher

For those that wonder why a rather unreligious person would enjoy a comic called Preacher?  An angel and demon have sex and an offspring.  This offspring goes against the will of god and must be contained.  It, (of course) frees itself from its prison and latches on to Texas preacher Jesse Custer.  Did I mention Jesse’s friend is a vampire and his girlfriend a hit-man? As fucked up as it got (a guy fucks a doll made of raw meat is one of the LESS weird moments), I loved every page and every panel.  I loved the art, I loved the episodic story telling, I loved the freedom to do pretty much anything you want without explaining it.

Well, soon I was back into comics and despite a few issues (Marvel, stop with the “everybody becomes random character” story. It’s fucking enough already.  Oh did I mention FUCK ONE MORE DAY?) I love it.  Some have rich histories, with 40+ years of back issues to read (The Amazing Spider-Man), while others (The Losers) only last for about 30 issues but tell some of the most awesome stories I’ve ever read.  Some cover grandiose epics of the gods (Sandman); others cover the life of a pretty douchey underachiever who plays too many video games (Scott Pilgrim).  No matter what I’m in the mood for, there’s almost always a comic for it.  That’s more than I can say about video games, movies, or cable television.

But that’s enough rambling about me.  You should go get some comics in a sort of convenient way.  There are entire sites where you can browse arcs and download 100s of issues at once.  And after reading them, if you have the funds, purchase them.   If you’d like some recommendations (I am far from an expert and haven’t gotten to the underground yet, this is mostly mainstream stuff), I’ll try to classify them out here.  I’m not going to spell out each one, you have wiki’s/google.  Bold means a personal favorite.  If you have more questions about any of these you know where to find me.

What the Fuck is Going On but Awesome

Preacher by Garth Ennis

Seaguy by Grant Morrison

Marvel 1602 by Neil Gaiman

Lucifer

Wanted

Bone

Classic Characters You Love in Great Storylines

Batman: Hush

Joker’s Asylum

Superman: Red Son

The Incredible Hulk: Planet Hulk/World War Hulk

Cable and Deadpool

Buffy Season 8

Firefly/Serenity Comics

Books that solidify comics as a form of literature

Sandman by Neil Gaiman

Watchmen by Alan Moore

Series You Might Not Know but Should Check Out

Fables

Top Ten by Alan Moore

Transmetropolitan

Pure Nerd Culture

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

Stuff I Don’t Know How to Classify

Kick-Ass

The Losers

So that’s it folks.  I gave you a lot to work with there.  Oh also, avoid Sin City and Marvel’s long story arcs (Civil War etc).  They’re just not worth it.  Now stop reading this and go read some comics dammit.

Shalom Madrefuckers

-Oz

This week we talk about:

Bacon eating jew and gaming nonsense.
Common Sense is a thing after all!
Oh Sony.
Sign of the end days.
If this is wrong, I don’t want to be right!
*Opens Can O’ Worms*
Way of the future?

This week we talk about:

Need a new computer?
But can it talk on the phone and eat lunch too?
Anon
Well, isn’t that just adorable.
Oh your poor things.
I wanna go to school
facebook stuffs
headphone stress
WBC gives 50,000 to takei
Big Brother thinks it’ll be a problem, shouldn’t you?
Nerdwin

Ok, now, I was surprised with how well put together the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie was, as I went in with low expectations.  I was pleasantly surprised that it had decent writing, and Geoffrey Rush really won me over moreso than Johnny Depp.

#2 and #3 we won’t even talk about…one can only take so much Keira Knightley, who I continue to maintain, really needs to eat a few cheeseburgers and buy herself some boobs.

So I went into this new one with a decidedly unenthusiastic “MEH” on my face.   I got good and tipsy beforehand so at least I could take a small nap if it was truly abhorrent.  (42 oz. of beer in an hour is awesome for going to the movies, btw.)

I thought the beginning a bit slow (may have taken a nap, idk) but it was worth seeing just to see the goofy shit that Johnny Depp and Geoffrey Rush do together.  It’s downright amusing.  I think not having Keira needs-a-cheeseburger and Orlando Bloom in it really allowed him to geek out as much as he wanted to, and I like the character much more now.

Conversely, I don’t think it’s really *necessary* to see it in 3D (as if that is ever necessary for 99% of the movies out there that have 3D material added).  I don’t know that it’s necessary to even see it in the theater, but it’s entertaining, kind of like the way the first Transformers was, ya know?

I’m not even thinking that I’ll see Priest in the theaters, but Thor was good fun.  Other than that…I feel like the movie situation has been pretty thin lately.  I want another one that hit me like Inception did last year.  I don’t need eye candy.

This week we talk about:

Also, check out Screemer for more tasty tunes.

This week we talk about:

This week we talk about:

This week we talk about:

I watched a lady today with her brood of about 15 people try to negotiate a moving walkway and get into slowly moving cruisers that hold 2-3 people (which I was loudly stating every 5 seconds or so.)  She had several minutes to observe the flight deck, talk to her peeps, and make a plan.  This did not occur. Instead, her entire party exploded on to the walkway (despite me standing in the way….so yes, cast member run over!) and then started to run around like maniacs trying to decide which cruiser to get into.  One almost ran into the ride, so boom, ride stop.  All the cast members (and guests, mind you) turned around and watched them as they figured themselves out.

8 minutes later (give or take), another ride stop.  Same kind of chaos at unload.  Running around, not getting out, going the wrong way, running over the cast members, all that jazz.

Makes me wonder what else we need to do to make things accessible for people so there isn’t mayhem and bodily injury.

Then I think, maybe it’s not us.

The app I am testing out for this particular posting is for the iPad called “Blogsy”. From the outset, I could tell I would like it …. a lot of options, and the capabilities to do much more than the other apps I have tested before on my iPad. Heck, with this app, maybe I will post more than once every 3 months or so.

Here’s to hope, eh?

Also, testing out image posting/linking while I am at it ….

2. If you’re going to drive a truck and have it raised to compensate for your lackluster penile size, please don’t ram it up every car’s ass that you come across.  I’m not impressed and it just makes me want to kick you in the balls.  (This would be an on-your-way-to-a-theme-park-rule).

3.  If a local theme park is crowded and you eyeball a line, or a way the employees are asking you walk, just do it — don’t question it.  Believe it or not, they do know what they’re doing, and answering the question, “Is the wait time really 20 minutes?” a hundred times does not, contrary to popular opinion, make said employees giddy.   If you need specific directions, then the employees will be sure to help you find it.

4. If you find a rude employee at a local theme park, definitely tell management on the way out, because chances are the rest of the employees don’t like them either.  It is not okay to a) call them “fat whore” or other derogatory names, b) shove them from behind when they’re on a moving walkway, or c) try to punch them in the face.  Really?  Come on.

The Great Pirate Debate.

No Curse gaming reminders…..

No standing in the fire……

No stupid holiday achievements….

No replays of the mobs only 20 levels higher and in a different zone (cough, murlocs, cough)……
I feel incredibly free.

However, I felt a little bored, so I reinstalled Rift, which I’m not 100% sure about yet.  Anyone else have any opinions on it?

The Good

You get “souls” (talent trees) and can really spec however in the hell you want to spec until you figure out what the fuck you’re doing (this would apply to me.)

Game looks pretty good.  I especially like how my chick rides her antelope thing.  She’s also wearing pants instead of mysteriously pastel-colored mail dresses.

It’s taking what was cool from Warhammer Online (public quests) and stepping it up a notch.  You can get into public raids in addition to the public quests and….shit attacks your shit all the time so it’s like a constant thing.  You’re out questing and boom….you’ve accepted a public quest and a rift drops and things chase you around.  How this makes this game very playable is that you can play however you want (i.e., questing, public raids, pvp) and not get bored because it’s not too limited.  Well, yet.

The Bad

They don’t seem to understand that hacking and gold spammers exist.   It seems to have caught them a little by surprise.  Then they invented “coin locking” which basically freezes everything in your account (and on your toons) until you prove you’re you if you happen to log in from a different place, or from just having reinstalled the game after upgrading to Windows 7, for example.

And yes, the audio is broked. Sorry.

This week we talk about:

The Patriot Film Critique

To start out, I went to IMDB.com to do some research on The Patriot.  While I am rather familiar with Mel Gibson (who I can’t stand) and Heath Ledger (who I like), I had no idea who director Roland Emmerich and writer Robert Rodat were.  First, I decided to look at Emmerich.  His other movies include Independence Day, Godzilla, 2012, The Day After Tomorrow, and 10,000 BC. None of these movies are known for being particularly good.  It also seems to be Emmerich has an unusual thing for “disaster” movies.  Why he was picked to direct a historical piece I have no idea.  And honestly, that explained why I never felt like this movie reached its potential.  Emmerich had no idea how to show war with a serious tone because the closest things he had done were a giant lizard and aliens.  The writer however should’ve been able to counteract the director’s inexperience.  Rodat’s biggest credit is the masterpiece that is Saving Private Ryan.  That movie is responsible for the past decade of World War II movies and an entire generation of young people obsessed with it.  Looking at the awards for The Patriot it was critically acclaimed for its cinematography, but little else.  Knowing all this though really didn’t matter to me.  Due to Mel Gibson’s recent insanity, I can’t stand any movie he’s in.  He’s small, funny looking, and doesn’t make a lot of sense.  Yet in every movie he inspires this horde of people to fight for freedom and die united under him.  I could almost never get past it and therefore the movie lost a lot of impact on me simply by who the lead was.

The main thing I noticed for the Mise en Scene was the use of fire representing angry or tumultuous emotions, especially early in the film.  When Gabriel got angry, you hear the fire’s crackles and pops intensify as his fight with his father escalated.  While I didn’t notice a lot of this, the parts I did notice were subtle and added to the movie rather than bashing you over the head with it and I thought it was rather well done.  I loved a lot of the aerial battle scene shots, especially of the British army so you could see the true expansiveness of the fields combat took place on.  The costumes I think were semi accurate although I really am not sure that people were as mobile as Mel appeared to be in the full war uniform.

Storywise I was optimistic at the beginning of this film.  All the characters seemed to perform actions in a logical manner, as if they were real people put in this situation.  Then Tavington was introduced and Mel went to superhero mode after his son is killed.  1 man versus 20?  I don’t care how angry or crafty you are, that’s not exactly realistic.  Especially while managing to keep your two children with muskets safe by yelling comedically at the soldiers to distract them.  This is the point where I really gave up on the movie.   I liked some of the path of the story (the evolution of Gabriel, the growth of some side characters like the one played by Donal Logue who comes to accept a slave as a brother), but a lot of the historical inaccuracy was too much for me.  Tavington didn’t exist, Lafayette didn’t come in till later, there was a lot of small decisions that made me lose interest   The writer needed to make up his mind if he was making a movie or a historical piece and he obviously picked “movie.”

Tone, rhythm, and pace was part of my biggest issue with this movie.   Some scenes seemed to drag on eternally (chopping a british soldier into bits for what felt like hours),  while others there wasn’t enough of (I never saw the “love” between Gabriel and his soon to be short-lived wife).  Then out of nowhere, we’re in another battle scene (albeit watching from a random window where your father can sneak up on you).  Also, the movie could never make up its mind on tone.  We’re in the middle of an epic battle and then we cut to a cannonball slicing people in half.  Unfortunately, the speed and execution makes this a laugh rather than a horror.  We never get the feeling of war.  Every time it starts to seep in, Mel Gibson stabs a horse with an American flag.  Or makes a funny face and yells at the soldiers.  I understand having balance but it’s a WAR movie.  Keep the comedy off the battlefield.

Acting wise, I wasn’t that impressed by this movie despite being a big fan of Heath Ledger and Adam Baldwin (a side character played by a guy who is a main character in one of my favorite TV shows Firefly).   None of the characters convinced me they were anything but actors.  They didn’t talk or act like the knowledge I have of that time period.  I never once forgot I was watching actors playing characters and that’s my measure of great acting . When I watch The Godfather, I forget I’m watching actors.  When I watch The Patriot, I said “Why is Mel Gibson doing that?” as compared to “Why is Benjamin Martin doing that?”

As far as editing goes, I didn’t notice anything especially good or bad about it.  Some action movies badly cut off the action or jump around so much you can’t tell what’s going on.  Nowadays almost all action movies include “shaky cam.”  This didn’t and was better for it.  When editing is done right, its invisible (unless done so creatively it creates an effect) and this time, it was.

During the opening credits, I decided to pay attention to who did the music because the orchestral score seemed to be a familiar style but I couldn’t seem to place it.  When I saw the name John Williams I was expecting to be floored.  This is the same guy that created immortal themes that became as recognizable as the characters from the movies.  Superman, Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Jurassic Park, Harry Potter, and Jaws all have songs that even people who have never seen the movie will know just from a few notes.  So while watching this, I was expecting something grander.  Something bigger.  Something to put you in the mood for the epic that was the Revolutionary War.  But none of the music really stood out to me.  Most of it was well placed and seemed to fit the scene at hand, but none of it was memorable enough to be whistling for the next 6 weeks like his other works.  I was very disappointed by this fact.  I kept looking for any redeeming quality for this movie and even a legendary movie composer couldn’t save it.

My main issue with The Patriot is the movie didn’t seem like it could ever fully decide what it wanted to be.  There are two ways to approach movies about war:  serious drama and over-the-top, parody action.  Every time I began to get into the movie and think “Wow this must be what it felt like in the Revolutionary War” a scene like Mel Gibson running with an American flag through a battlefield without being hurt and managed to stab not a person, but a horse without flinching, would occur.  You just can’t do that.  The writers and director needed to make a choice about the tone and rather than go for accuracy and depth decided to go to the lowest common denominator.  While they may have increased their mainstream audience, people like me who were hoping for a historical period piece that shows the horrors of the revolutionary war were sorely let down.

1st, Luke and Leia’s momma…

2nd, V For Vendetta hawtness

3rd, Thor!!

and now…that Your Highness movie?

I guess she’s letting her hawtnerdy all hang out now, isn’t she?

Next thing you know, she’ll be in the World of Warcraft movie.

I hate it when people tell me a movie is a “classic” or “the best film ever made” or even “a voice of a generation.”  It’s almost never true.  And that same mob who forced you to sit through this shitty movie?  They’ve tied your noose before you can say “That wasn’t that good.”  And if you dare say, “its been done before and better,” be prepared to be drawn and quartered.    I’ve actually been in a situation where I told someone I didn’t think their favorite movie of all time was that good and they didn’t speak to me for two weeks.  To this day, that person refuses to see The Godfather (my personal favorite of all time) because it drops 4 too many n-bombs. (They had no problem with Tupac however). Well this blog is my top movies that everyone told me are masterpieces or will “change the world” that I just don’t see it.  Not that these movies are bad, most of these are well-made movies.  Hell, I’m not even going to say these movies have nothing to offer; most of them have at least 1 or 2 elements worth seeing/talking about.  But their breaking points are way too much for me to call it an “achievement in filmmaking” or “best movie evar!”

Now don’t get me wrong, this has happened before and the people have been absolutely right.  Firefly/Serenity, Dr. Horrible, Pirates of the Caribbean and various others are movies/shows I refused to watch then absolutely fell in love with.  But these aren’t them.

OBVIOUS DISCLAIMER IS OBVIOUS: Liking/disliking movies is a simple matter of opinion, and outside of the one time I mention it, I’m not going to judge you for disagreeing with me on these.  Hell I expect almost all of you to disagree on these.   I’m stating my view on things and as I said: all these flicks have at least a little merit.  But I hated them and everyone else loves them is the only criteria.  If you need to send me hate mail or want to have a mature/academic discussion about them you can email me at 45degreepodcast@gmail.com, find me on twitter, or on the forums.  But if you simply flame me, I’m going to ignore you.  Despite my swearing, I do enjoy intelligent discourse with anyone.  I’d actually be intrigued to see people intelligently defend their movies that I rip because often, the fans are part of why these movies were disappointments for me.  That being said: enjoy.

11/Honorable Mention.  Any Coen Brothers film (Examples Fargo/Big Lebowski/Burn After Reading)

Alright the biggest gripe I get when I say I don’t like the Coens is “you just don’t get it.”  No I get it, I really do.  Dark/black comedy.  It’s usually something I’m a big fan of.  But for some reason, these movies never hit with me.  Sure I may get a chuckle out of one or two lines, or I may smirk how much of a clusterfuck it turns into.  But brilliant comedy on a level all its own?  Not really.   Death and shitty people aren’t funny to me.  People are always assholes and always kill one another.  What’s so funny about that? The reason these guys get Honorable Mention rather than being on the actual list is the actors are usually so good that these aren’t brutal to sit through.  I loathe Fargo, but I respect the hell out of all the actors in it.  Why?  I forgot they were acting for a bit.  If the movie hadn’t been so shitty and made so little sense, they might’ve pulled me in further.  But for the most part I was just bored.  And so far, I have been very underwhelmed by the Coens, which doesn’t sit well with their hordes of rabid fans “I’m cool because I understand them and you don’t”  Keep telling yourself that Sparky

10. Evil Dead (the 1^st one)

I love Army of Darkness.  Easily one of my favorite movies.  And Evil Dead 2? As random as it was, it made me laugh and I enjoyed myself.  Evil Dead 1 however? Fucking boring, not scary, and had no plot to speak of.  Its like they had a meeting and said “Well Mr. Raimi, we have no budget what would you like to do?”  “Let’s hire a bunch of kids and make a shitty zombie movie but with less zombies and more trees that rape 17 year olds”  “Genius sir, it’ll be terrifying.”  No, its not.  Honestly, just skip this one and jump to Evil Dead 2 if you want to see these movies.  They recap the 1^st one in the beginning anyway.  1 is a fucking waste of time.  Oh and while I’m on the subject of Sam Raimi: WHY ARE YOU REMAKING THIS WITHOUT BRUCE CAMPBELL?  HE’S THE ONLY REASON THIS SERIES IS POPULAR!  YOU’RE GOING TO DESTROY THIS LIKE YOU DID SPIDERMAN BY NOT LISTENING TO FANS.  Ok rage done.

9. Citizen Kane

This film is a top 3 in almost everyone’s “greatest” of all time lists.  Hell I should even say it’s usually 1 or 2 (Casablanca and the Godfather tend to fight for the other spot).  So why was I so fucking bored during this entire movie?  It may be it was so heavily parodied I knew the ending before it happened.  It may be because I hate older movies 90% of the time (pre 1960).  It may be because I watched it in a film class.  Who knows?   I appreciate what the movie did.  It was a revolutionary movie at the time and Orson Welles had more balls than the rest of Hollywood combined at that point.  But that doesn’t mean I wanna watch this shit.  If my teacher hadn’t threatened us by banging staplers on our desks if we fell asleep?  I would’ve slept through this whole thing.  A shining example of “well-made” but its just not engaging enough for me. I feel no attachment to the characters and this is best movie evar?  Yeah…right.

8. Juno

Where do I even start with Juno?  Ellen Page is cute and all but the quirk overload is too much.  From the first 20 seconds you’re being treated to “look how indie and quirky I am!  I’m like a 30 year old who got married too young and still wants to live a young person’s life.  Oh wait, I’m such a nonconformist that I got pregnant just like all the other teen pregnancies.  Don’t ya love me?  I’m also sassy!”  Yeah I just summed the entire movie up there.  The indie soundtrack just makes it worse and the while the cast does the best they can, what can they do with this script written by a former stripper? (Her second movie, Jennifer’s Body.  Still haven’t bothered to watch it).  I heard how good this was, even from straight males.  I saw it.  And knew this country was in trouble.  I blame this movie for the hipster movement.  We had indie kids and they were annoying but bearable.  But this hipster thing is a direct result of movies like this.  My biggest beef with this movie: Juno comes from a “loving” family that still accepts her when she gets preggo.  That’s all well and good, but she runs around like any 16 year old afterwards? Bullshit.  That family would’ve had her ass on bed rest for six months.  Also, this movie kinda just glosses over all the negative things that come with pregnancy.  I’d go so far as to say this movie would encourage females to get pregnant because everything will work out ok in the end and you’ll play guitar on the porch with your awkward boyfriend.

7. Fight Club

The first rule of fight club is you don’t talk about fight club.  So why do all of it’s fans never shut the fuck up about this movie?  I dig the idea, the cast, and it has its moments of badassery, hence why its only 7 on the list rather than higher.  But acting like this is some great ideology we should live up to?  Yall missed the satirical point didn’t you?  You’re not supposed to be these heartless bastards that is Jack’s alter ego and his cronies.  People acted like this movie revealed some great truth about humanity’s inner nature and what we all want in life.  When?  Where? How?  I’ve watched it several times and I still don’t see it.  I’m Jacks feeling of being underwhelmed when I saw this movie.  I would squarely lay this one on the fans and not the movie though.

6. Sin City

The first movie I ever walked out on (partially my fault for being on a date and not researching source material).  Why did I walk out?  The cast was studded with people I loved, the visuals were straight off the pages of the comic, and it was a director I like.  Because this movie, much like Frank Miller, thought it was greater than it was.  Where’s the genius here?  “Oh I’m gonna shoot in black and white and only use color when it MEANS something”  Yeah we’ve done that before.  It was called The Wizard of Oz.  “Oh ok then, I’m going to cast people in parts you wouldn’t expect.  Get this Jessica Alba’s a stripper!”  Yeah you just made every 12 year olds wet dream come true.  And actually, that’s how I’d sum up this movie.  It’s as if a 12 year old watched one too many detective movies and made a series about it.  “Ok Ok fine, can you just enjoy it?”  Hmm, violence, tits, and style…that should be elements of success.  Oh wait, sloppy putting together of all these things just for shits and giggles?  Ugh.  Fuck this movie.  Fuck this movie with the strap-ons the girls from Old Town wear.  I even read the comic series to see if that made this movie more worth it.  It didn’t.  The last story was by far the best, and not because of the good evil thing but it was the first one with characters acting like people and not archetypes.  Ugh.  God I hate this movie.  I’m gonna move on

5. Every Tarantino movie but Reservoir Dogs

I’ve tried them all.  Only finished two of them.  Hated both.  “But he’s so good with dialogue!!”  No, he thinks he’s good with dialogue.   “SAY WHAT AGAIN MOTHERFUCKER” is not dialogue.  “Five long years he wore this watch up his ass” is not dialogue.  And this is from the movie considered the greatest dialogue ever written?  His characters are uninteresting unless he gets a stellar actor to play them (Jules is the only one I’m remotely interested in during Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs all the main guys are stellar).  His stories are hackneyed and predictable.  And his direction?  Like an ADD child being treated with cocaine.  Some people like this, I personally don’t.  For some reason people also act like Tarantino was the first guy to ever tell a story out of order or to link up stories loosely by an ending.   Kill Bill was influenced by anime…Ok fine…but why do people who hate anime love kill bill just because Tarantino’s name is on it?  The guy acts like he’s God’s gift to moviemaking, a cocky bastard, and for some reason whores himself out a ton (he judged on American Idol…don’t give me he’s a true artist who would never sell out, he already has).   I get so much hate, but I’ve tried.  I just can’t do Tarantino.  And stop cameoing in your own movies.  When you didn’t have the money to pay another actor, ok, but now?  You just bring your movies down.  Stop it.  (On that note, everyone should see Reservoir Dogs.  Even if it’s just for the ear scene).

4.  Any Wes Anderson movie

This guy was the embodiment of hipsters before hipsters became mainstream.  All his movies feel exactly the same, most share actors, and the only one I’ve finished was the Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou or however it spelled.  I don’t see the humor here.  I never laughed, I never was interested in the characters, I was never impressed by the visuals, and the music choices seemed to take away from the movie rather than help it.  I avoid this guy at all costs and if you tell me any of your favorite movies are one he did, I will judge you.  I’m sorry I can’t help it.  At this point it’s a survival instinct.  I will admit in the future I may give them another try but for now, I avoid them like the plague

3. Chicago

The story makes no sense, most of the actors are just stuck in there to sell tickets, and the “big” musical numbers feel small and restrictive to me.  Broadway adaptations rarely work on the silver screen and this movie was no exception.  I’m not gonna say anything’s wrong with the music (its actually decent), but for a movie I kept being told was the best thing ever made?  I was counting the seconds till it was over.  If you made this move about 2 male killers…lets just throw out an example…Charlie Manson and Scott Petersen.  With Oj Simpson as a fellow prisoner…would this get made?  Hell no it wouldn’t.  Would it be lauded as great cinema? Nope.  So why is it when it’s 2 chicks (no matter how hot they are)?  I like two scenes in this entire movie (Mr. Cellophane, John C Reilly may be one of the biggest geniuses of our time but he’s overlooked) and the scene in the courtroom when Richard Gere is backed into a corner by the prosecutor and Taye Diggs comes on with the “Billy Flynn with a tap-dance” line and the movie cuts back and forth between the tap-dancing and the courtroom.  The rest is meh.  I was never engrossed, never wowed by beauty, never delighted by the music.  Just…ugh.

2. Brokeback Mountain

If this movie didn’t have a strong performance from Heath and Jake (which are better cowboy names than their cowboy names in the movie) and wasn’t about two dudes banging each other it wouldn’t have gotten any attention.  Its advertised as this great love story between two men “who cant be together” because they’re gay.  Well, what the fuck’s stopping them?  Gay people have always existed.  They could’ve found a place to be together and buttfuck in tents.  Its not like this was the 1800s.  This was the 60’s-80’s: a period known for its drugs and sex.  Seriously?  They couldn’t go wear their cowboy hats with some hippies and had all the free love they wanted?  But they had families Oz!!!  Bullshit.  They were gay and shouldn’t have gotten married to females, much less had a kid with them (whom they abandoned every time they needed some lovin’ by going on ‘fishing’ trips).  Even if they were bi, being bisexual doesn’t mean you get to have both lives if you want a committed relationship.  At least not without talking it out with those involved.  Ok fine, you hate the story line and the setup, but what about the cinematography?  It was brilliant!  It was?  Really?  The fireworks going after heath ledger punches someone?  Good cinematography doesn’t bash you in the head.  It blends and enriches the experience.  And don’t get me started on the first gay sex scene and the director is pretty much saying with it “come on I know you guys are only here because the pundits bitched about the gay agenda”.  Ang Lee doesn’t do good cinematography.  This is the guy who made the first Hulk movie.  I mean…seriously folks? This movie is garbage outside of some stellar actors.  If it had been about straight people cheating on their wives because of their true love, it would have made little to no money and landed Ang Lee on a blacklist to never be allowed to make movies again.   I have nothing against movies about gays.  I don’t mind a gay love story.  Shit, I’d love to see a gay love story be told in mainstream media.  But at least make it good and not just a bunch of people being assholes who should’ve tried to find a better way to be together.  This wasn’t romantic and it wasn’t sweet.  It was two dickheads who didn’t realize they shouldn’t fuck the rest of the world over because they were ashamed of who they were.   Go to San Francisco and be together.

Edited after some discussion on Twitter: Satyr I think gave the best explanation of why people like this movie.  “brokeback was an interesting film. Told a story many gay people know to the straight world.”  But did the straight people who didn’t know it stay for the whole movie? I don’t think they did.  The theatre went from full to half empty by the time the movie ended in my college town.  I’m also wondering if my early awareness of being different and sorta having a “secret life” (young paraplegics spend a lot of their lifetime hiding things they cant help from the world for fear of being judged) of my own made this a story I already knew and therefore didn’t impact me too much.  It could also be a generational gap thing.  Not that homosexual guys/gals aren’t judged/beatup/killed where I live, but I’ve never been a part of the people that do it and I believe people that judge, beatup others, or kill people for almost any reason be it differences or similarities is unjustified (very rare cases beating the hell out of a person is necessary).   By the time I got out of high school, when you got away from the church crowd, the judgmental assholes were gone.  This may be the most likely one on the list that I could possibly change my mind about parts of what I said if I saw it again.  The cinematography and actions of the protagonists still piss me off though.

1.Crash

So you know that story I told earlier about a friend not talking to me for a couple of weeks because I hated their favorite movie of all time? Crash was the culprit.  I looked at the cast.  All actors I’ve enjoyed.  I looked at the idea: a modern day look at racial issues.  Fine.  Might be necessary, especially since was before we had a black president (what do you mean that didn’t change shit?).  So lets watch it.  Hmm.  Loosely tied together nonlinear storytelling with good actors playing out characters they make completely nonsensical judgments not based on race or plot but for the purpose of demonstrating a random racial issue.  Well fuck a doodle-doo.  There was one character/family I was even remotely interested in their issues was the Latino family.  They were an intriguing, heart-wrenching, beautifully told story.  The rest?  Why was I supposed to care?  Why am I supposed to like these people or hate these people?  Sure I get maybe that’s “realistic” that people are people and are neither good guys or bad guys, but they still make decisions based on who they are and they don’t change at the drop of a hat.   Also if we’re going for realism? In a giant city like Los Angeles, what are the odds of these stories all interconnecting like this? Slim to none. The only argument I’ve heard for the merit of this movie was “It opens peoples eyes to racism!!! This has never been done before!!!”  Actually it had …Ever seen To Kill A Mockingbird?  Hell even A Time To Kill (Yes they deserved to die and I hope they burn in hell!) had just as much relevance to racism today as Crash did.  The worst part of Crash?  It presents this problem of racism for an hour or two…and offers no answers or suggestions.  It just kinda says “ HEY LOOK PEOPLE ARE RACIST ASSHOLES”  Then the credits roll.  Thanks but I sorta knew that already.  I am from South Carolina and grew up with Indian (subcontinent, not native) friends in a majority white Christian school.  Why is this shocking?  Oh and those racists who need to see this and realize they’re racist? Why would they see this movie?  That’s right, they wouldn’t.  And I’d say 99% of racists fully realize they’re racist.  They may rationalize it or say “that’s just how things are” but they know damn well who they are.  Fans of this movie I hate to tell you: racism is still here.  I also hate to tell you no one who saw this movie was shocked.  No one who saw this movie was amazed at how real it was.  It didn’t fix or help anyone.  It won an Oscar over Brokeback and honestly?  Brokeback was the better flick.   It at least did something new, no matter how hackneyed.

So there it is folks.  Gimme a couple weeks to dwell on it and next up will be “Movies People Hate but I Absolutely Love”

Shalom Madrefuckers

-Oz

Unfortunately, the people of Egypt have not felt as rich or empowered as perhaps their forefathers had dreamed they would be.  They have had to deal with decades of poverty, corruption, despair…under the apathetic eye of a leader who did not show much — if any — sympathy for their plight.  And furthermore, could you imagine having the same President for THIRTY YEARS?!?!  It’s so unimaginable especially for us in the land of ADHD … four to eight years feels like an eternity for us.  Just picture tacking on another twenty more years!  If I had been born and Nixon was still President, I would wail and violently demand to be promptly drowned!

One thing which has really irritated me about the events unfolding in Egypt is the constant bobble-heading about “What will the US’ response be?  Will we get involved?  Will we send financial aid or military support?  How will this effect relations with our precious ally, Israel?  *insert further useless flapping of lips and egos*”  I understood long ago that in matters of global crisis, the United States acts as it always has…out of SELF-INTEREST.  It is an unfortunate truth that I struggle with coming to terms with, especially since I live here and have to acknowledge that stain on our own history.

I was hoping against hope that the United States would NOT get involved in the matters of Egypt.  For too long this country has played the role of self-appointed “protector of the weak” and “champion of the poor”, but most of the time it has really just been the country acting like a toddler trying to boss everyone around and totally unaware that they’ve shit themselves at the same time.  We have our hands in so many pies and meddle in the affairs of other nations, and quite frankly I find it ridiculous.   We are paranoid about enemies lurking in the shadows, especially in the harsh dunes of the Middle East, ready to leap out at any moment and instigate unrest while chanting to Allah and swigging on unleaded that could have gone into a Hummer’s gas tank.  It is more respectable to let every nation govern themselves, whether it be for the greater good or not.  Our views as a country, again, are skewed by a bias of self-interest and a delusional air of detachment through involvement.

If the United States truly wants to help, then I suggest the best course of action is not to send money, or tanks, or guns, or tear gas…send FOOD or MEDICINE.  These people are destitute and have just overthrown the leadership of their country because they are desperate, frustrated, and angry…and they don’t have a lot of comfort.  Send food or first aid to these people.  Not something that can be used to hurt or sell for money…something that can nourish, and heal.

I am confident that this change will be one of extreme significance.  Especially because it has started a domino effect.   The populace of other countries who share the Egyptian’s plight have been watching their triumph with awe and wonder, and greater still — it has empowered them to speak out and act.  I am a realist, though, and I know that there is still a long way to go, especially in countries where the government and its military have a much tighter stranglehold on the citizens.  But maybe for the first time in a long time, these people are feeling hope for a better day, and it is truly a beautiful thing to behold.  Generations will speak of the time when the people gathered together and said they had had enough.

It just all seems to be not worth it at this point.  To me, anyway.

So here ya go, this (though unrelated to SDCC), is a bit of hawt nerdery for you all to enjoy.

Me = Eew, gross, don’t pick your nose.

Kid = It just happens.

…

No kidding.

This week we talk about:

This week we talk about:

First things first Click that

Than select and empty world.

After a minute or two your new world should be all loaded up and you should be looking at something like this.

Your first day in minecraft starts shortly after dawn. You have until the sun goes down to gather a few resources and build yourself some sort of safe little hidey-hole. Once the sun goes down there will be several creatures that will come out of the dark places and try and end your tiny block-headed life.
The two things you really want to collect in order to not have an awful first night are wood and coal. If you can collect enough of these you can actually keep yourself busy while hiding from the evil night time. Luckily all you usually have to do to find trees is turn around.

Once you find a handful of trees, start collecting wood by holding down the left mouse button. I know that seems simple but it had me confused at first. The greenery at the top of the trees might drop seedlings as you are harvesting wood. They look something like this…

Make sure to replant these (equip + right-click) as they fall so that you wont run out of trees.

Once you get about 10-20 chunks of wood (the more the better but don’t run yourself out of daylight) It’s time to make some stuffs. Fist things first we need to make some planks out of those chunks of trees. Hit the “i” button to bring up your inventory and a little are where you can do some simple crafting. Throw your logs of wood into the box like this.

You will need some of these but you are also going to need some sticks as well. Sticks are made like this:

You will also need a big crating box to make some real tools. That is made like this:

Drop that anywhere (you can move it later) and we start building some tools. First things first…Pickaxe.

You will go through a lot of these but for the time being just make one or two. Remember, the sun is always setting on that first day. Now to grab some of that other thing we are going to need, coal. Finding coal the first couple of times is a pain in the ass but one you get used to where it is usually hiding it becomes a lot easier. For now we just need a little so I wandered around until I saw this.

This ended up being about 20 blocks of coal which is much more than needed for the first night.

Now to make one of the most important things you will need over the next few nights in Minecraft.
Torches.

The “things” that come out at night don’t like these much and you will go through more of these than you will care to think about in the world of minecrack. Hit next for info on your first shelter

So, you have some tools and torches and likely the sun is starting to creep behind the mountains. Don’t panic, we are almost there. Find yourself a flat chunk of rock wall. Dirt can work but isn’t as strong should creeper decide to pop a hole in the wall of your hidey spot. I tend to start with something that looks kind of like this.

I tend to go back at least two blocks and then take a hard left or right. This will keep you from being noticed in the night by any creatures wandering by. From the inside you can drop some stone or completely cover the doorway and in theory are safe for the night.

Now you can spend the evening upgrading your tools a bit and making your shelter a little more livable. Below is a screen cap of the making of a stone pick axe.

A furnace for smelting and cooking.

a chest for storage.

Two placed side by side become a larger chest.

Some shovels. (for dirt, derp)

Swords for killin’ things.

A door.

Home Sweet Home?

By then the sun has likely risen and you can go out without fear of getting facerolled. I hope this helps some and have fun exploring

]]> http://the-bunker.net/2011/minecraft-the-first-day-hurts-the-worst/feed/ 0 http://the-bunker.net/2011/transmissions-ep-80-jazzy-wondergirl/ http://the-bunker.net/2011/transmissions-ep-80-jazzy-wondergirl/#comments Tue, 11 Jan 2011 03:31:38 +0000 Satyr http://the-bunker.net/?p=2144 This week we talk about:

Movies

Bram Stoker’s Dracula

I was pretty stoked for this movie.  Francis Ford Coppola directed, great cast, old school feel (Coppola didn’t want to use computers at all, every effect is a camera trick).  But I was pretty underwhelmed,  Keanu with a British accent may have killed the entire movie for me.   However, the rest is great.  Anthony Hopkins is a great Van Helsing, Oldman a suave yet terrifying Dracula, and the supporting cast even has Cary Elwes appearances.  The costumes and sets are phenomenal with a weird Japanese flair that doesn’t really fit the accent but for some reason seems believable.  Worth a shot if you’re bored and got some time to kill, but I won’t be telling everyone “zomg see this.

Forrest Gump

Ozgirl on when I told her I hate Tom Hanks and that I’d never seen this movie all the way through. “What?  How have you never seen it?  And how can you hate Tom Hanks?”  Well, I don’t know the answer to either question.  But Zemeckis dramas bore me and this was yet another that was very meh.  Maybe its because I knew the whole plot from parodies/Weird Al, maybe its because I don’t really enjoy big budget character studies (they all feel the same, like I’m supposed to be inspired by the end).  Seriously, all I felt for Forrest through this entire movie was sorry Jenny was such a bitch to him half the time.   Well made movie and all, but really just not my style.

Chaplin

Now this movie is what I like when it comes to dramas/character studies.  Based on Charlie Chaplins autobiography, this movie traces his career and apparently insane personal life (did you guys know the lovable Tramp loved jailbait in real life?  I had no idea either).  Robert Downey Jr is fantastic as usual and the supporting cast is like anyone who was anyone in 1992 in Hollywood.  Great movie but gets a little slow towards the middle.

The People vs Larry Flynt

This was another of my character drama movies (blame netflix for all these contracts expiring) and all I can say: this movie was fucking fantastic.  Sex crazed, drug fueled, and insane…but what more could you say about the founder of Hustler?  The king of smut Larry Flynt was real life’s first troll and this movie puts it on display in all its grandeur.  Woody Harrelson and Edward Norton do great in it.  Fuck, even Courtney Love turns in a fantastic job as Larry’s wife.  Despite the overall shittiness of almost every character, you find yourself pulling for the bad guys to win.  I love any movie that makes me do that.  Also, Larry himself cameos early in the flick.  Masterful flick.

Shrek Forever After

I love the first Shrek.  I love the 2^nd Shrek (thanks to Antonio Banderas).  I liked the 3^rd Shrek (the premise was fun).  But this one sucked.  Rumplestiltskin sucked as a villain and the premise sapped all the chemistry we had given the characters through the first 3 movies.  Also, Shreks midlife angst?  I know it happens and we all reminisce for the good old days when we were young and wild and free (motherfucker,I just quoted that fucking DJ sammy song…be right back, gotta kill myself).  But shrek’s midlife crisis just seemed out of place.  He had “grown” to realize he wanted friends and a family, why would that not so magically change?  Even the catch phrases “Do the Roar” and what not were terrible in this movie.  The one good thing was the Pied Piper playing Beastie Boys.  That was funny.  The rest? Not so much.  I understand it was a cash cow and they wanted one last go, but man..this one almost tainted the series.

The Expendables

Stallone’s Man-gasm.  Was Pleasantly surprised by this.  Mostly the flick is Stallone and Statham though so don’t let the ads fool you into thinking its all those action stars the entire flick.   Sure the story didn’t make a lot of sense.  But hot female, explosions, guns, karate, and Ahnold cameoing as a politican?  Awesome and hilarious in the best way possible.  Good times.

Two Hands

Indie aussie film where I think Heath Ledger got his start.  A black comedy (black as in dark) where a young man gets in trouble with the mob and has to try to fix it before its too late.  Better than I thought it’d be.

The Prestige

Christopher Nolan hasn’t made a bad movie that I’ve seen yet.  This continues that trend.  Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale are phenomenal as magicians constantly trying to one up each other.   Michael Caine, David Bowie.  Everything about this movie is great.  Much more of a mindfuck than Inception.

Inception

Speaking of the other Christopher Nolan movie: Not saying this one was bad.  Far from it.  But it wasn’t this epic tale of epic epicness that I expected from everyone’s reaction.  It wasn’t a mindfuck (hell it was so linear it hurt), it wasn’t phenomenal, it wasn’t even THAT original.  The effects were cool, and the acting was decent but that’s about all I’d give it.  Worth seeing, but not a life changing piece of cinema like people were telling me.

Mirrormask

Neil Gaiman weirdness.  Not bad, but I wouldn’t call it good either.  A truly creepy rendition of Why Do Birds Suddenly Appear? And some really cool visuals make this movie not a waste of time, but the story is predictable and boring.

How To Train Your Dragon

MASS SPOILER ALERT

This is the best kids movie I’ve seen in a long time.  The human characters are relatable yet fun, the dragons despite never saying a word have their own personalities, and the landscapes and scenery are beautiful to look at.  Perfect family film.  And despite some weak story spots, overall it’s a great uplifting flick.  Also, proud of the awesome decision at the end to have the main kid lose a leg.  The steampunk Viking prosthetic was awesome.  Can’t wait for the next installment of this one.

Toy Story 3

This one was not made for kids.  Sorry but it’s the truth.  Andy’s going to college and the toys must learn to cope at Day Care where the rookies are hazed by being with toddlers.  Intense and way too emotionally subtle for kids, this is probably the worst pixar movie I’ve seen.  Now, I know that’s not fair because they usually are masters, but this one just didn’t do it for me.

Get Him to the Greek

I expected awesome Aldous Snow from Forgetting Sarah Marshall.  Instead we got some crazy drug fueled dickhead.  Jonah Hill isn’t a good enough actor to be the straight man.  All in all, a pretty dark comedy with a few good lines and 1 hilarious music video.  Not worth the watch.

Iron Man 2

Everyone bitched about this not being as good as the first.  Why? Because Tony Stark acted like Tony Stark?  He’s always been an asshole.  Robert Downey Jr was just awesome enough to make us love him in the first one.  I really enjoyed this one personally.  It was a lot of fun and had a much better plot than the first even though the ideas weren’t as strong.  This felt more like a comic book movie to me.  And while I’m disappointed Terrance Howard got replaced, War Machine is still fucking awesome.

Shutter Island

I don’t wanna spoil this one because it was too good but lets just say Dicaprio + Scorcese is pretty much always a win.  See this movie.

Hot Tub Time Machine

Most disappointing comedy ever.  Made no sense, was just brutal to watch, and didn’t work on any level.  John Cusack, stop making movies so I can remember when you were awesome.  Thanks.

Kick-Ass

I love this comic.  I love the grittiness of it, I love the attempted realism in a comic, I love the dark/cynical view of superhero stories.  And the movie missed the point?  Sure they got Hit Girl right and for the most part Kick-Ass right.  But Nic Cage didn’t fit, and they changed large portions of the story to make it more happy go lucky for viewing audiences.  Fuck you guys.  Oh and fucking jetpacks.  Yeah you heard me.  In a gritty comic book movie showing what would happen if a real guy became a super hero, fucking jetpack.  Fuck this movie.

Comics

Sandman

Rereading Sandman again since Ozgirl got me a companion book.  And its even better than the other go round.  Seriously, if you like comics and haven’t read this masterpiece, man the fuck up and read it.  It’s Gaiman’s best work and to me is better than Watchmen, V for Vendetta, and all other Graphic novels combined.  Just phenomenal in every aspect.

Sin City

So I saw the movie and despised it.  So why am I reading it? because supposedly the comics are amazing and awesome.  Yeah well I just don’t see it.  I can go with Frank Miller sometimes but this shit is just pushing it.  Not really a fan of the art, not really a fan of the stories, which is weird since I dig the overall vibe of the books.  I’m five books in and I’m really sick of Dwight.  Cant believe they’re going to make more movies out of this shit.  After some research seeing they dropped the ball, hm, I like it.

Video Games

So xmas came and went and I acquired some new games.  Here’s some quick reviews.

Assassin’s Creed II

I avoided this for so long because the price was so high.  Well it finally got down to 20 dollars…and I’d say was worth every penny.  For some reason,  despite obvious flaws (low difficulty, combat is basically just counter till it dies, never use anything but swords to win),  this game is immensely satisfying.  Running around on Italian rooftops and killing people from bales of hay is just a good time.  And now you don’t have to “walk” by guards as long as you haven’t been on a rampage.  Awesome.  The story’s not bad, but I could do without the futuristic crap.   Doubt Ill ever 100% this one (finding all the feathers….just…uuugh) but glad I bought it and played through most of it so far.

Final Fantasy XIII

Another one I was waiting on a price drop.  And guess what? It’s also down to 20.  The first modern FF not only on Playstation, I had to give this one a go.  I’m about 1/3 of the way through if online estimates are correct and I have to say: I actually really like it.  Its not your classic FF game in any way (no grinding, no specific roles for each character), but as someone who is impatient this works in its favor since you can just jump into action and kill things.  It took awhile to get going and seems to be the most linear rpg I’ve ever played: (the first 5-6 hours are fight, movie, fight, movie.  Seriously, I had played an “hour” and maybe played 20 minutes) but has been pretty good once it did.  I also dig the battle system.  Rather than having a tank, mage, healer simple set up, you have paradigms.  So fighting a boss that changes from really strong defense to really strong offense?  Switch to tank and dual healer.  Fighting something weaker than paper?  Throw three mages at his ass and zerg him.  Its awesome.  Its not always easy (some trash fights REQUIRE switching roles), but its been fun so far.  The story is emo as hell and doesn’t make a lot of sense but hey, it’s a FF game, that’s what they do.  I do kinda wanna punch every character in the face though.  Especially Hope and Vanille.  In the face, the nuts, and the ovaries.  They’re that annoying.  Ah well, still a pretty good game and worth it if you’re looking to kill about 50 hours of your life.

Batman: Arkham Asylum

I fucking love this game.  It would be perfect if only it was longer (you can beat story mode in one sitting if you don’t worry about exploring/riddles).  The freeflow combat system is easy to learn, hard to master.  The stealth sections are challenging but doable and allow you to have your own playstyle, and the overall mood of being locked in the madhouse is just great.  Voice acting is top notch (all the voice actors from TAS are in, including Mark Hamill who is tied for me as the best joker with Heath and Jack Nicholson)  Can’t wait for the sequel Arkham City.  Just hoping its longer.

Beautiful Katamari

Do you enjoy crazy fun games?  Do you enjoy Japanese acid trips?  Do you enjoy Jpop?  Then you’ll love the Katamari series.  Basically you roll around a ball picking up small stuff to “grow”.  As you “grow” you can pick up bigger stuff.  Each level has a goal size with a time limit and you get as big as you can in that time frame.  Love this game and its surprisingly addictive.  20 bucks on demand is better than the 28 it was at gamestop.  Awesome.

Hydro Thunder Hurricane

My one arcade purchase: I love hydro thunder because it’s the one racing arcade game I can actually play with my lack of legs.  This game is just as fun as the original and if you need a quick racing fix without all the souping up/tweaking of something like Gran Turismo, its worth checking out.

Well that’s it for now, Maybe I’ll blog about something real soon

Shalom Madrefuckers

-Oz

I have left for various reasons before – the one prior to this one because of ugly (false) rumors that I : A) Supplied alcohol to underage co-workers (which I don’t condone), and B) Was associated with drugs (which I have never done in my life). I only came back because I was desperate for work, and the persons responsible for these rumors were not in any position to oppose me any more. When I did return, the people I worked with were some of the best I had the pleasure to serve with (sorry for the pun ).  Even though there were bad apples spread amongst our numbers, their poison seeds never had the ground to take root. I honestly believed things could be good. And for a couple of years they were – then the shadows crept back in.

I look back now on the past year or two as a war …. a conflict with too many casualties. On one side were people with a fierce loyalty to one another and a belief that we could make a difference while making sure customers got the service they desired & deserved. Our opposition were those simply content in worrying about money while sniping at us with snide comments and extremely adept at placing blades squarely in our backs …. sniveling sycophants more concerned with the placement of their lips on the boss’s buttocks than doing the job. Many of my comrades were felled in battle after battle, and although I soldiered on – our ranks were dwindling. Inversely, the enemy numbers seemed to stay constant – if not increase. I grew weary of the fight, tired enough to look for a new world to escape to …. to abandon the war that I have lost all enthusiasm to participate in directly.

To this end, I have acquired employment elsewhere. For the allies I leave behind, I am sorry … I am sorry you have to fight still, I am sorry I am no longer there to support you, and I am sorry some of you have no choice but to stick with it. Don’t look at this as me abandoning the cause — I plan to continue in a different role … a more *sinister* one perhaps. For my enemies – you have not won, I shall make sure that justice and honor prevails. You can be sure of that fact.

Sports

Where do I even start?  Since my last classic blog, its been about 5 months.  Oops.

Baseball

While I don’t follow it as closely as I used to, my first love in sports was baseball.  Specifically Atlanta Braves baseball.  Luckily when I started getting into baseball, the Braves were one of the best.  They went on an unprecedented run of 14 straight division titles.  Sure it was during a time when the rest of the division was truly god awful but lets not talk about that.  Hell in that same time frame the Florida Marlins won 2 championships to the Braves 1 (1995 vs the Cleveland Indians: also known as the most racist thing against Native Americans since the trail of tears) but that’s not the point.  The manager of the Braves for my entire life has been the great Bobby Cox.  Bobby is just a crotchety old southern man, but the guy knew what he was doing when it came to baseball.  Nobody could do as much with nothing as he did.  He also holds the record for being ejected the most times in a career.  He coached his last game this year and the Braves are moving into a new era in which they will be much less awesome.  So I raise my glass to you Bobby Cox.  Wherever you end up, keep being your crotchety old man self.

Football

Well its bowl season (has been for about 2-3 weeks) in college football and I can honestly say I haven’t watched a single one before tonight and really this Stanford VT game is just on as a background noise while I write this blog.  Why haven’t I watched any?  Because shit like Boise State vs Utah happens.  Because shit like Bama walloping Michigan State happens.  The system is fucking broken and it needs to die.  Having conference tie ins that automatically qualify for a bowl is stupid.  This mystery formula shit is stupid.  Teams with 1 loss or less that aren’t perennial powerhouses (Stanford, TCU) have no chance of getting into the championship game. TCU went undefeated with a tougher schedule than Oregon (who is like 115 of 120) and ended up in the Rose Bowl upsetting Wisconsin.  I love the fact TCU won, but I wanted to see them vs Auburn.  I want to see the big dogs fall in every game but you have to  come up with a system that gives a little guy a chance.  So BCS, please die.  Personally, I think Auburn is going to destroy Oregon and in 3 years its going to get vacated when people find out Cam Newton knew damn well he was being shopped around.  Also, expect Reggie Bush to tweet shipping instructions for Cam.  Seriously.  I’m calling it now, Auburn’s season wont stand.

As far as NFL goes, its been a rough year.  My Carolina Panthers have sucked so badly we’ve managed to get the #1 pick.  I’d even go out on a limb and say we were better our 1-15 season than we were this year.  The worst part is?  There’s a lot of rumbling around them that  I am not liking.  The first rumor flying around is Deangelo Williams will be let go with Mike Goodson proving himself a valid back (he had 3 good games while  Jonathan Stewart was hurt).  This is dumb.  He’s young, he’s still got a lot of miles in those legs.  Plus, he’s the only reason we were halfway decent when Jake Delhomme started throwing like a colorblind man.  I refuse to say 2 million dollars for a football player is too much for what he brings to the team.  Another rumbling I’m not liking is that we’re sticking with Jimmy Clausen as our quarterback and are going to trade away the #1 pick that’s been so painfully earned.  This is even dumber than trading Deangelo.  There were games this season that Clausen threw for less yards than the other team had in return yards.  That is NOT a good thing.  And why do I think Clausen sucks so bad?  The guy has this attitude that he’s gods gift to football.  But to tell ya the truth, he’s not that good.  He didn’t do anything great at Notre Dame, and he’s not gonna do anything in the pros.  We need to get rid of him.  The guy also plays like a complete pussy and runs away from defenders like that little kid in the schoolyard that even the nerds gave wedgies too.  Its painful to watch and it hurts my head that we may be “sticking by him.  Take the #1 pick.  Take Andrew Luck.  Give me something to believe in Carolina.  Please.

The rest of the NFL is pretty standard fare at this point.  The Pats, Steelers, Colts, and Ravens are all in the playoffs again in the AFC.  The Jets and Chiefs also managed to sneak in.  While I like a lot of teams more, I don’t see anyone touching the Pats right now.  They finished the year with something like 11 turnovers in 16 games: that’s insanity.  And they’re doing it with no big name player aside from Tom Brady.  I hate to say this, but he’s earned that MVP he’s gonna get.   I see them pretty much tearing up everyone but the Steelers in this playoff field.   I’m pulling for the Chiefs though, I just like them a lot this year for some reason. As far as the NFC goes, it looks pretty unpredictable with the Falcons, Bears, Eagles, Saints, and Packers.  Oh wait did I forget a team? Yeah I did.  Why? Because they’re the fucking 7-9 Seattle Seahawks.  Yeah that’s right.  A sub .500 team made the NFL playoffs by the virtue of the Rams choking and the rest of the division sucking.  They get to host the Saints in the first round which  I’m hoping ends up with Drew Brees making their defense look like swiss cheese.  Its way too close to call who’s coming out on top in this one but I think I’m pulling for Saints and Eagles.  Ill never forgive the Packers for the NFC championship beat down of the Panthers in 1996 and I cant stand the falcons or Bears.  So yeah.  If I had to pick I’m picking Saints because it looks other teams have figured out how to stop the Eagles after about 12 weeks into the season.

Basketball

It took em a little while to come together but it looks like the Heat could possibly be as good as everyone thought they’d be.  Bosh learned his role and Wade and Lebron are sorta just like “yeah ok we can do this.”  The games look a little sloppy sometimes, but when they’re on, it may be the best basketball I’ve ever seen.  The Celtics look good again, and the Lakers and Mavs are still strong in the West.   All in all, pretty boring for all the potential shakeup that could’ve happened.  Oh and surprise? The Cavs suck without lebron.  Also, one of my favorite players: the massive Asian man, Yao Ming, has gone down for the season again with another injury.  It’s a shame to see such an awesome player go down and possibly stay down.  But he had one of the best quotes ever.  “ ”I haven’t died,” he said on Thursday. “Right now I’m drinking a beer and eating fried chicken. What were you expecting, a funeral?””  Spoken like a true American sir.  I salute you.  That’s really about all I have to say about basketball,  I’ll probably blog again about around playoffs when it gets exciting again.

TV

Married..With Children

I used to watch this show as a kid and never really got it I guess.  Like seriously, family dinner around the TV, this was a nightly watch in my household.  Now about 19 years later I’m watching it and love every minute.  Netflix added all 11 seasons to instant and despite the lack of the stellar themesong, the show is as funny now as it was 20 years ago.  Ed O’Neil is great as poor everyman Al Bundy and Katey Sagal is just as awesome as his red-headed devil of a wife Peg. They’re priceless in their constant bickering/conflicts, feeling like a real husband and wife, not like most sitcoms where everything is always hunky-dory.  The kids aren’t all that funny (even though I feel dirty for how hot Christina Applegate is in it) but the neighbors Steve and Marcy are hysterical.  It’s a classic show and I highly encourage to watch at least a few eps, if not all 11 seasons

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Final  Season)

So I finally finished Joss’ first big show: Buffy The Vampire Slayer.  While I enjoyed the ride, the 7^th season was brutal and took me almost a year to finish.  As much as Nathan Fillion as Caleb was great, I just wanst feeling the angsty bullshit from everyone else.  Also, Joss pulled a Joss.  Some of you know what that means, especially if you’ve seen Serenity.  Either way, it pissed me off.  So show that starts great, has a few absolutely perfect pieces of television (once more with feeling, Hush), but ends with a slight whimper.  Better than I’d thought it’d be but its no Firefly.

Dexter

Finished Season 5 over the break from school and while this season possibly had the most potential in several seasons with all the different plot lines: this one just didn’t work.  Characters weren’t acting like themselves, making poorer than usual decisions, and just not acting like the characters I know and love.  It wasn’t bad and it was certainly better than season 2 (god season 2 was shit) but all in all, im waiting on season 6 now to show they’ve still got it.

Cowboy Bebop

I’m only 4 episodes in.  This gets better right?  The potential is there with the characters but I’ve just been woefully underwhelmed so far

Decided to split this blog into two parts since it was going to end up a massive wall of text.  Movies, Comics, and Video Games Next time.  Same tilted time, same tilted channel.

Shalom Madrefuckers

-Oz

And some other rambly bits.

This week we talk about the usual assortment of crap. Honestly though it’s awful.

Hello all! This weekend I ran my first Pathfinder game session. My group was eager to get back to the table since our last D&D 4E game fizzled out (see Band of Misfits – Scales of War – Session 4 for our last session of that). I was going to be running the very first Pathfinder Adventure Path: Rise of the Runelords, so Spoiler Alert to anyone who might be a player in that in the future. Without further ado, let’s meet our players:

Cast of Characters

Chaine – Half-elven bard played by my friend Brandon. This is perhaps the first bard I have ever had in my game, and it took some coercing to get him to play it. I’m interested to see how it plays out. His character is the star of the theater in Sandpoint, and quite the ladies man.

Chevali – Half-elven Sorceress, and twin sibling of Chaine, played by my wife, Lisa. She chose the destiny sorcerer bloodline for her character. Decidedly distrusting of humans and a fairly anti-social person, she spends most of her free time studying.

Snookie – Female half-orc Barbarian played by my brother, Andy. I’m not even sure this counts as cross-gender role-playing. It’s hilarious either way, though. We decided that Snookie was found and taken in as an infant by a Shoanti couple. Since Half-orcs are the hated enemies of their society, the couple was forced to leave their tribe, and made their home in Sandpoint.

Act I – Swallowtail Festival

The story begins in the coastal village of Sandpoint, where the party has lived their entire lives. The day on which our story begins marks the first day of autumn, and a day of celebration. For five years, the village has been in the process of rebuilding it’s temple to Desna. The original temple burned down during a time which is only rarely spoken of called the “recent unpleasantness”. The new temple is finally completed, and the entire village has gathered for the Swallowtail Festival, in order to consecrate this new place of worship.

As the festival Begins with the opening speeches, I gave the party a chance to introduce themselves to each other and describe their appearance. It was assumed that the twins knew “Snookie” already, having grown up in the same village with her. Snookie also happened to be the only one in the party who was armed, since she made it a point to be as intimidating a sight as possible at all times.

The festival wore on, with the releasing of the swallowtail butterflies, followed by a free lunch from all of the local taverns. I decided this would be a good point to introduce Ameiko, the owner of the Rusty Dragon, and a prominent character later in the adventure. Finally, the crack of a thunderstone turned their attention to the podium, where the priest was about to begin the final part of the festival.

Unfortunately, this was also the signal for a small army of goblins to attack the village. Their warchanters started their battle song (which I had the distinct pleasure of singing, since they provided the lyrics), and the goblins began the march into the streets. The twins were somewhat dismayed, having left their equipment at home, but Snookie was prepared. Honestly, I just like typing Snookie. I digress.

Chaine used his keen ear and mastery of music to turn the goblin song into a true work of beauty. This charmed one poor goblin, who we later decided was named “Best”. Chaine convinced the dim-witted goblin that the other goblins were, in fact, not best, and that he should kill them. Meanwhile, chevali was throwing around some magic missiles, dismayed by the fact that the goblins were not slain by them. Snookie used her greataxe to full effect, killing a goblin per round, and wishing that she had taken cleave as her feat instead of improved initiative.

As they worked their way through a couple groups of goblins, Chaine and Chevali quickly realized that they were less than useful without their equipment. They decided that the best course of action was to return home for their gear, and return to the village when they were properly equipped. While they did this, Snookie went to the tannery, where she worked, to ensure that it was safe. Fortunately for her, her employer had barricaded himself in his shop and was easily fending off the small swarm of clumsy goblins.

As the twins headed towards their home near the docks, they came upon a goblin riding a goblin dog, who was closing in on a helpless noble. Upon seeing them, the nobleman cried out for aid, and Chaine decided he could not ignore this plea for help. Urging his sister to continue on to their home, he charged the mounted goblin. And missed. Badly. Ramming the wall with his skull, he found himself in a similar position as the nobleman. 4 more goblins emerged from the shadows, and made short work of “Best”. The goblin commando wasted no time in sinking his “horsechopper” into Chaine’s back as well. Chaine dropped like a sack of bricks.

Fortunately for him, Snookie chose this moment to return. She flew like a whirlwind through the goblins. She felled the goblin dog in one blow, and another sent the goblin commando into oblivion. Chevali now arrived as well, and used her few remaining spells to snuff out the remaining goblins. She then turned her attentions to Chaine, and used her knowledge of healing to stop most of the bleeding and revive her brother. The nobleman they saved introduced himself as Aldern Foxglove, and he urged the party to see him later for a reward for saving his life.

Act II – Heroes in Action

A few days after the battle, Chaine was feeling much better. Through a combination of his sister’s healing skills and his own healing spells, he was up and about again. The townsfolk regarded the party as heroes, and made no attempt to hide it. A knock sounded at the door of the twin’s home, and Chevali answered it with suspicion. On the other side of the door was the youngest daughter of Ven Vinder, Shayliss Vinder. She begged to see Chaine, and Chevali reluctantly let her in.

It appeared that there was a terrible rat infestation in the basement of the general store that her father owned, and only Chaine could help dispatch them. It took Chaine no time at all to work out her true motives, and even less time to agree to her wishes. Off to the general store he went. Once down in the basement, he found a lantern, a makeshift bed, and a very eager shopkeeper’s daughter awaiting him. In the midst of his heroic duties, he heard footsteps and a gruff voice upstairs, heading in their direction. It was time for some serious acting.

After they quickly dressed, he somehow managed to convince Ven that the bedspread was her older sisters doing, and they were so disheveled because he had been telling her a truly frightening tale, which he then made up on the spot and performed for the suspicious father. His performance was exceptional, and the man was easily convinced now that his thoughts were on his oldest daughter’s indiscretions. Chaine escaped the store unharmed.

A few days later, they were approached by Aldern, who implored them to accompany him on a boar hunt. They eagerly agreed, and Aldern was overjoyed. He proceeded to buy them all riding horses, and they rode to Tickwood forest. There, Snookie used her amazing survival skills in tracking down their boar, which Aldern quickly shot with his bow. They spent the remainder of the evening talking with Aldern at the Rusty Dragon over a hot plate of boar that had been prepared by Ameiko. It was clear that Aldern had taken considerable interest in Chevali, despite her cold attitude towards him.

The next day, they were approached by a local woman, Amele Barrett, who begs them to help her. Her son was attacked by a goblin, who had apparently been hiding in his closet since the attack on the village. The goblin had killed the family dog and turned on their son until her husband burst into the room to fend it off. The party rushes to her house to find it quiet. Too quiet. As they cautiously enter the boys room, they find her husband face down, halfway in the closet. They pull him out to find most of his face missing. With this discovery, the starving goblin bursts from the darkness. Snookie fells him in one blow, but the damage is done. Amele breaks down at the sight of her husband, and the commotion summons Sheriff Hemlock, who commends the party for slaying the goblin, and states that he will take it from here.

Shortly thereafter, an elven ranger named Shalelu (Snookie doesn’t seem so bad now) enters the village, looking worse for wear. She describes to Sheriff Hemlock, and later to the party, that the goblin tribes have united and that something big is amiss. Sheriff Hemlock decides that he must leave for Magnimar to the south to request aid. He asks the party to stay visible to the townsfolk, and protect the village at all costs until he returns.

Act III – Shattered Dreams

A few days after the sheriff leaves, they are approached by the halfling bartender who works at the Rusty Dragon. It seems that Ameiko has gone missing, and when the halfling entered her room, she found a letter which indicated where she may have gone. The party read the note, which appeared to be from Ameiko’s brother, Tsuto, who requested that Ameiko meet him at the glassworks that their father owned, so that he could speak with her.

They readied themselves and set off for the glassworks that morning, only to find the doors locked when they arrived. The note had mentioned that Ameiko should enter through the loading door, so they went there to attempt to find a way in. Snookie used her greataxe to “pick the lock”, which exploded into pieces. They entered the glassworks, and walked through a nearby door to a most disturbing sight.

It appeared that goblins had taken over the building, but that was not the worst. All of the factory workers were in various stages of dismemberment, and the goblins were using the pieces to experiment with the furnaces and other tools of the factory. Worse still, Ameiko’s father was sitting in the corner, layer upon layer of molten glass covering his body. The party made short work of the goblins. All except one, that is. The final goblin escaped, and made his way down to the basement.

The party chased him, right into the room of a partially drunk and semi-conscious Tsuto. Snookie decapitated the goblin, and Chaine quickly charmed Tsuto before the young man could react. It seemed that Tsuto was a part of the goblin plot, and that a woman named Nualia was behind it all. The party recognized the name as that of a woman who died in the very fire that consumed the original temple of Desna five years ago. It seemed she had befriended the Thistletop goblins, and was living in their midst.

The party rescued Ameiko from the basement storage room, and the party set out to Thistletop to put an end to the goblin menace…

Closing Thoughts

I am having a blast with this adventure so far. The way that Paizo has written it is just fantastic. After attempting several of the new Dungeon adventures for 4E D&D, this is a real treat. The characters are rich with backstory and quirks, and the setting is easy to slip into.

My group is having a great time as well, and it really feels like seeing an old friend again. Everything is familiar and we find ourselves getting back into the swing of 3.X D20 very easily. Lisa is quickly remembering how weak first level spellcasters are and Brandon is still feeling out the Bard, but Andy is really enjoying playing good ol’ Snookie.

We are having a blast so far, and are looking forward to the next session, which should be a huge dungeon crawl through the Thistletop Goblin lair.

This week we talk about:

Let’s start this blog in a new way.  I’m going to list some scenarios that have occurred in College Football in the past few years.  You guess if the NCAA would give a shit or not.  Also guess the athlete!

1. A star running back at a perennial powerhouse is dominating the league.  He somehow has enough money to support his family (enough to buy them a house in LA) but no one really cares because he’s such a good guy.
2. A star Wide Receiver has a personal friendship with an NFL player. He goes to visit him during the off season
3. A young man is the legal guardian of his 7 year old brother in a story of a family so crazy it would be too much for Jerry Springer.  Since the young man is so busy with the stresses of being a collegiate athlete, the coaching staff and their family help him babysit/give his brother a good life.
4. A star quarterback is stuck in a system he knows he wont get playtime in due to the starting QB is College Football’s equivalent of Jesus.  He transfers to Junior College for a year leading them to a national championship.  When he starts being re-recruited by 4 year schools, his father goes around asking for payments
5. Every other insane story that the NCAA deems trespass worthy.

So guys, which do you think are the worst? Who are the athletes?  What kind of punishment/investigations were launched?

1. Reggie Bush.  Now playing for the defending Super Bowl Champion New Orleans Saints, It turns out “Lightning” was receiving endorsement deals under the table during his time at Southern California.  Nobody questioned a college kid being able to afford a house?  No one questioned him coming to practice in a brand new decked out hummer?  No one questioned his constant array of bling he wore in interviews?  Bush graduated in 2005.  He hasn’t been back to campus since.  What punishment was he given?  Slim to none actually.  His Heisman Trophy was voided and he sent it back.  What happened to Southern Cal?  Vacated Wins, Probation, and pretty much a loss of a coach/recruits that kept Southern California one of the most exciting teams to watch for the past decade.  When were these punishments levied? 2010.  That’s right, 5 years after it’s relevant the NCAA laid down the law.
2. Dez Bryant.  Dez was a standout WR for Oklahoma State, a team known for being pretty quality perennially but have never made that jump to “powerhouse.”  Partially due to them being in the same state as the Sooners. But I digress.  Dez Bryant happens to be friends with former NFL insane athlete Primetime Deion Sanders.  Dez had a visit with Deion and freaked out that the NCAA wouldn’t like it so he made a poor decision as college kids are known to do.  He lied.  The NCAA gave him a year suspension.  What happened with Dez?  Well, he’s probably one of the best offensive rookies in the NFL now playing for the turrible Dallas Cowboys.  That year suspension did so much to punish him.  Its not like yall just gave him his senior year off to take less hours of class and drink more since he wasn’t allowed to be at practices or with the team in any way.
3. Ray Ray McElrathbey.  This Clemson kid was almost suspended for a year because he had the wives/family of the coaches helping him take care of his little brother.  This uplifting story of a team being a family had to be appealed so Ray Ray could play.  You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.
4. The most current and relevant thing on this list.  The athlete and decision that made me write this blog. Cam motherfucking Newton.  Now don’t get me wrong, I love to watch this guy play.  He’s probably the next Michael Vick without the dog killing.  (what too soon?)  Here’s what happened.  His dad shopped his ass around.  Teams were offering to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars for this kid to come play football for them.  Is he that good?  Well he’s the only reason Auburn might end up in the national championship game. But heres the problem.  The NCAA said “Cam, you fucked up.  You’re suspended the rest of this season.”  Auburn justifiably freaked the fuck out, knowing they stood no chance to beat South Carolina with out Cam.  So very sweetly Auburn blew the NCAA while saying “Pretty please, can Cam play?” and in payment for the BJ the NCAA said “Ah, the little scamp didn’t know what his dad was doing, of course he can play.” Bullshit.  You didn’t know your Dad put a price on your damn head?  Please.  You knew damn well and I’d even guess in 5 years Auburns gonna get some punishment for paying this kid.  Now, I wouldn’t care so much if Auburn wasn’t about to win the entire damn league.   And Oregon or Auburn need to lose to prove the BCS is a broken system.  There are too many implications riding on this and I’m 95% sure the NCAA is letting Cam play so the ratings of their national championship game aren’t shit for Oregon vs TCU.  See, most of the country isn’t like me.  I love David vs Goliath matchups.  Butler vs Duke last year in basketball was the best championship game in years.  The little guy doesn’t get enough shots at the big dogs, at the powerhouses, and I pull for any situation that gives us more of that.  Also, does the NCAA realize the precedent they just set?  With no punishment being thrown anywhere but at Cam’s father (his access to the Auburn football program is “limited”), wont all Dad’s start selling their college age athlete children into college football slavery?

So basically, NCAA: You suck balls.   What the fuck are you high on?  There’s more to this world than the money football brings in.  There’s doing right by the schools, the athletes, and the people who do follow the rules in this world.  So, all I really have left to say is: Go Gamecocks.  I’m not even a huge Gamecock fan.  But after this bullshit with Cam Newton, I’m pulling for them as hard as I can.

That’s all I got. This was your Bunker Sports Report.

Shalom Madrefuckers,

-Oz

The Reason today for this article is choosing a camera. Many people I talk to know that I have a passion for capturing life in slices of light and color. Inevitably, the question comes up … “What camera should I buy?”. This is a trap. There is no perfect system that works for every person that I can say that will be the perfect answer to that question. A camera is a tool, and everyone requires a different tool depending on their needs, desire and skills. Subsequently, my answer tends to turn into a series of follow up questions to determine what they need this very specific tool for. Based on how you answer these questions will guide you to a better choice in finding the right camera for you.

The first thing I always ask is, “What’s your budget?”. This determines a lot, and I can’t stress the fact that you must consider your budget very carefully. Buying a camera isn’t just the hardware itself. You must also consider things such as battery choices (this will come up again later), lenses, support equipment(bags, memory cards, tripods, etc.), software, etc. Some are very optional – but others have to be considered. For instance, if the camera is a gift – you can’t be sure they have the right memory card to fit it. Besides peripherals, budget determines the range of camera I can research to narrow down choices for you. Fortunately, this is something people usually bring up first when they say they are looking for a camera —- I always ask though if they have any flexibility on the price, just to see what they are looking to compromise on.

The next question, and a very important one – “What do you intend to use this for?”. Everyone needs a camera for different reasons. The manufacturers know this, so they make a lot of different systems for a plethora of situations. Why is this important? The standard, off-the-shelf camera is fine for snapshots of the family – but instances such as sports require speed and reach, nightlife requires good low-light capabilities … certain environments require a smaller size or hardware that is more weather resistant. If you answer that you want to take pictures of the kids playing soccer, I will find something that allows for higher shutter speeds/ISO and a decent zoom for example. Take some time to figure out why you want this piece of equipment. This will lead you onto the path that will lead to your ultimate purchase.

“What are you comfortable with?”. Some people don’t know a lot about post-processing, RAW format, ISO, etc. For them I would be wrong to suggest a mid-range dSLR, when all they need is a decent P&S. I worked my way up to the bigger stuff, but I took my time to learn along the way. If you have a basic understanding about gear and such, I will move into an arena which discusses heavier subjects. Don’t misunderstand the hardware though – you can get great pictures from all sorts of gear, it’s just some criteria is moot when looking at certain things. If you are felling ambitious, have I got some suggestions for ya

OK, now that I have rambled on long enough – let me leave you with things I personally look for when researching a new system (in no specific order of importance) & gear which I personally favor.

1 )  File format – I personally prefer something that has the ability to capture in a RAW format. This allows me to tweak the images later on with more leeway. JPG is fine for everyday use – but sometimes a picture can be saved if you just had a little more wiggle room, and I take all the help I can get.

2 )  Battery. I dislike AA cameras, and prefer rechargables. True, you can get batteries at a store if you run low, but rechargables last longer per session and I always keep a backup or two in my bag. Plus, you save money over the long run.

3 )  Manual controls. I like to be able to control things like shutter speeds, ISO, aperture, etc. I is a geek. For those that don’t, there are some very intelligent cameras with great scene modes that do the hard work for you.

4 )  Lenses. This is a dSLR thing. I look to see what system is compatible with what … I have Pentax lenses, so I locked myself into that system and it would be costly to switch over. If you have some old lenses sitting around from film days, take that into consideration … many can still be used today with little to no tweaking (and a few caveats).

5 )  Zoom. Never, ever get a camera that depends on digital zoom over an optical option. Digital pretty much just crops the image you just took, while an optical (Mechanical) one actually zooms in the glass.

6 )  Stabilization. This area has gotten less clear lately. I still prefer optical/mechanical over digital solutions for this as well. This feature will take care of things like blur that occurs due to camera shake that results from shaky hands, slow shutter speeds and light conditions. With dSLR cameras, some have the feature built into the lenses while others are in the body – you can’t combine the two – just a heads up.

7 )  Gimmicks. For every great innovation, there is 5 crappy gimmicky ones. If a camera touts “XXX Super Keen” item, do a little research first – sometimes it is worth it, usually it isn’t though.

8 )  Video. Most newer cameras have a video option as well these days. This is a great thing, less gear to carry around. Just know a few things – most have an HD option (this must be turned on, not automatic) which is great, but also takes up a lot of card space; some are limited in zooming and focusing while filming.

Alrighty … cameras I would prefer to use myself. I am a Pentaxian – my last few dSLRs have been Pentax, and I don’t see that changing any time soon. As far as P&S cameras go – I prefer brands such as Fujifilm, Panasonic, Olympus and Casio. I know – not what you were expecting, eh? I have done a lot of research, and for my specific purposes – those manufacturers have the hardware I need.If you want specifics, just ask. Also notice I didn’t mention Canon nor Nikon in my preferences — that’s because I don’t prefer them, and I will leave it at that.

I have come to realize that somewhere long the line I lost myself.

I lost the idea of, the purpose of it all.

I lost the point.

More beyond the jump…Somewhere around episode 50 of the podcast I let go of what was and jumped for something else. I lost myself in the idea of something greater. I lost myself in the idea of escape. I lost myself.

I have always wanted the podcast (and the website itself) to become something in (and of) itself. Something greater than me. In all honesty, not all of the reasons were pure. I would love to do “this” for a living but I have managed to show about as much dedication to this venture as I did my fabled music “career”. The pure fact of it is that I wanted something selfish and I have paid the price for that selfishness.

I am not sure if it is the season itself bringing the “fuck everything” out of me or if it has been building for some time. Either way, I crossed a line somewhere.

The facts are this as I see them now. I have a broken website that I have loved for more years than some of you have been on the internet. I have a podcast that kicks my ass when ever I try and make it bigger than it wants to be. I have tried to “sell” these things as something much larger than they really are. In preparation for the day when the god’s smile on me and I win the internet lottery. I have come to realize all of this was wrong. I have seen the truth, of the math, of it all.

I have a thing that people like. I made this thing. This alone should make me happy.

The podcast became work because I made it so. This was my sin but I blamed it on everyone else for not keeping up with where my head was. I blamed the people that did listen because there were not more of them. I blamed everyone involved with the show because they were not better than the best. Above all I blamed myself for not being able to turn wine into water, as it were.

I see my failings and come back to the tribe on wounded knee. I ventured too far from the pack and got my ass kicked by the truth of things. I will not ask for forgiveness for these things as the cake is a lie.
I WILL do everything in my power to make it right though. I have realized that this show will never be as big as that egocentric fuck in me wants it to be. I wish sometimes I could put two slugs in his head. I have a few things up my sleeve, I will need help to make it happen but this time its for you.

Yes you.

So I sit here coming across yet another Thanksgiving. What does that usually mean?  Family drama (several factions of my family no longer speak and are flat out avoiding one another), shit tons of work at school (you have 3 days off, here have a 15 page paper and an exam when you come back), and a whole bunch of crap I never really have the energy to deal with (I hate cold weather).  For every year of my youth I remember being asked to name something I was thankful for.  I struggled with that.  Some years, I was an angsty little shit and couldn’t come up with anything.  So I’d crack a joke “Indoor plumbing,” “prosthetics,” “That I’m not you” something along those lines.

Through the past few weeks, I’ve had to take an intense look at my life.  Where I stand, where it’s going, Am I ready for the real world, all that shit.

And for the first time in years: I’m content, not afraid, happy, and dare I say: hopeful in those areas I still struggle.

This feeling I hadn’t been able to shake, this sense of inadequacy, the fight to finally become me finally feels like its drawing to a close.  And I haven’t felt this great since I was a kid too naïve to know the real world.  I don’t know why it took so long, what I was looking for, why it was so hard.  But I’m finally at a point I’m ok with everything.

So I don’t know where all that came from but the blog started off with the idea of listing some things I am and am NOT thankful for.  We’ll start with the nots for humor and end with the sappy thanks giving credit where credit is due.

Fucksgiving (Things that can go fuck themselves)

Press

For those of you that don’t know, I recently agreed to do some media recently.  I’m not going to point you to where, I’m not even gonna talk about it much.  All I can say is reporters are fucking liars and bastards.  Never trust them.  They made a completely inaccurate story, putting words in both mine and my girlfriend’s mouths.  Fuck them

Brett Fucking Favre

When even my girlfriend rages every time a football player is on screen,  it’s time to hang up the cleats.  Its over old man.  Let go.  And no one needed to see your tiny dick.

Doctors/Insurance Companies/Wheelchair vendors

I’m still dealing with this bullcrap (although not as severely) that started over a year ago and took me so far out of commission I almost lost everything .  The healthcare system is broken and no one seems to care.

Politics

A party based on fear and hate runs the house of representatives.  Fantastic.  I voted for the worst candidate in history to try to keep it from happening.  Ah well.  Just remember, Jim Demint caused the recession and the solution to the recession?  Hire people to build action figures of us.

Unjustified Hate

For some reason, its still running rampant in this world.  And sure, it always will. But who gives a crap if the prince and his wifey had sex before marriage? I don’t.  If they’re in love, let them enjoy each other.  Who the fuck are they hurting? Who is mad that a select few people from a region attacked us (so they’re all guilty) so now we have to be  groped when we fly? (Speaking of which, at the point its at: I’d prefer a girl to check me even if I’d feel guilty and have to apologize profusely afterwards.  Just sayin’).  Im mad as hell.     And theres a few of us left in this world who will not stand for this bullshit where we hate groups, or even specific people just because of a small fraction of people or because some book that has been through literally thousands of translations and interpretations tells us to.  This piece fell apart grammatically and structurally.  Time to move on

Thanksgiving

Friends

Be it the-bunker.net crew or my friends still stuck in our hometown. (speaking of which, Bowling for Soup-My Hometown is becoming more of my anthem the longer I stay here) You guys rock.  Whenever I need a pick me up or just a distraction, you guys are always there be it on FB, Twitter, or the forums.  Nothing beats hanging out and trying to break Satyr and Pastor while they’re recording.  Or sitting and yelling at the TV whenever Bud Selig, David Stern, or Brett Favre appear.

The Girl

Some of you know how serious I am about her and I’d be remiss if I left her out.  She really is my other half.  I didn’t believe in that kinda stuff till her.

Family that aren’t being fucking assholes

I’m glad pieces of my family still realize what the word means.  I’m extremely thankful that some people in this world still understand that some things are more important than a little awkwardness for a few hours.

That’s it folks.  As the holidays draw ever close I hope you guys have wonderful ones with as minimal drama as possible.  Hopefully I’ll be able to blog more, but I say that every time don’t I?

Shalom Madrefuckers

-Oz

I know I was like, four? when the original Tron was out and about, but damn, that was like The Matrix for an 80′s kid.  Seriously.  Now, Daft Punk (not overdoing the soundtrack in the least bit) and kickass light cycles?

I used to torture my mother and make her take me on the Peoplemover (most boring attraction on the planet at Disneyland) just because there was a section where the tunnel was done all up like you were racing a lightcycle.  It was amazing.  (As were the Skyway cups, but thanks to the jackass for trying to jump out that ruined those for all of us.)

I went and saw the new Harry Potter today (and I’m soooo not writing about that, because I’m not a huge fangirl about that, oddly — I think the rest of the girls have that taken care of for me, however).   Anyway, ignore the huge run on sentence that I’m not going to correct…and back on topic!  So anyway, there was a new Tron trailer (with a lot of the same stuff) in front of HP, and it made me all tingly.

Not to mention…Disney’s California Adventure is doing this ElecTRONica party thing every night in the Hollywood Backlot, and it’s one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen.  It’s kind of rave-ish (as if I know what that is, really, let’s be honest), but it’s super nerdy fun.

I was a huge nerd and bought midnight showing tickets for the local IMAX theater, and I’m stoked. STOKED.

There are a bunch of nice new features on this release but the big one is multitasking. The only significant issue with the iPad as a primary browsing device for me has been the inability to browse and chat via IM, or browse and do some other task that requires only occasional attention. You’d have to relaunch the app you were using and in some cases your status would not be preserved in the meantime. Now all iPad apps have access to the same faux-multitasing as the iPhone and iPod touch; which as a bonus is very good at preserving battery life.

AirPlay is a rebranded and extended AirTunes function, whereby your device can stream media wirelessly to other compatible playback devices (currently the apple tv but there are a flock of speaker stations due for the holidays). It allows streaming video too, so if I have friends over tey can play the music on their iPhone via the TV speakers, or stream a movie they brought over on their iPad. This is a very cool feature.

AirPrint does for documents what aAirPlay does for music and allows compatible apps to print direct to a compatible printer wirelessly. No driver required or setup, just a few taps. While not a game changer, it is very convenient.

The mail client has been updated and now does threading, but still needs work to keep up with the likes of gmail. Still it’s a perfectly competent client and more than enough for all but the most extreme email users (vast conversations, tagging, starred mails, complex rules are all out.

All in all a kick ass update though.

This week we talk about: