The Bumbles Blog

ON HEALING ~ Marathons Are For Families - Not Cowards

2013-04-16T10:56:00.000-04:00

My heart goes out to everyone devastated physically and emotionally from yesterday's horrific and cowardly act at the Boston Marathon finish line. I have been in those very spots myself over the years and can attest to the crowded, yet joyous environment you will find there. Marathon Monday is 26.2 miles of families, college kids and encouragement, celebrating the determination of amazing people. Marathon Monday is not fear, destruction and evil. When you watch the footage and review the stories from that day, look at the heroes. They were everywhere. Keeping that emphasis on the determination of amazing people.

ON HEALING ~ Groundhog Day...

2012-12-19T09:03:00.000-05:00

At the age of 45, writer Regina Brett wrote a column for the Cleveland Plain Dealer listing 45 lessons that life had taught her thus far. As a breast cancer survivor, many of those lessons were learned the hard way. Five years later she added five more lessons rounding her list up to 50 and turned her popular list into a book called God Never Blinks. I found her list to be entertaining, inspiring and thought provoking. I thought I would go through each of her lessons learned and write about how that lesson has or has not come up in my own life, now that I am over 40 and feel old enough to have finally learned something.

"You can get through anything life hands you if you stay put in the day you are in and don't jump ahead."

~ LESSON #17

(I must first preface my thoughts on the above by saying that I recently realized, after 45 "50 Lessons" posts, that the chain letter of this list that I was working off of was quite inaccurate in the order of Ms. Brett's actual list. I went back and corrected all of my previous entries to match the correct Lesson number. Which is why you find me covering Lesson #17 just now. You will find the remaining lessons to be in random order. For myself, who values accuracy and proper quotation, this is annoying. For you, it shouldn't make any difference - the lessons and my thoughts are in the end, the point - not their order of appearance.)

Tell that to Newtown citizens. Because they need something to pull them through right now. Tell that to citizens across this country for that matter. We all need someone to lead us through this minefield of horror.

In this tragedy, staying put is the problem. I am stuck in that day. My mind won't let me jump ahead. And so getting through what life has handed me is problematic.

I know that the point of this lesson is to take things one day at a time. To not get so caught up stressing over all of the big picture details that you become too overwhelmed to survive the most basic and key steps. But I just want to skip that part. I don't want to process pain; utter torture of the heart and soul. I don't want to plod along and through challenges. I want mommy to kiss it and make it all better. Pat me on the head and send me off on my merry little way, joyful and carefree again.

Instead, I am stuck. Running in place. Groundhog Day. Over and over, experiencing fear in my heart and tears in my eyes. Trying to figure out a way to express my sorrow and support for folks in Newtown who will be forced to go through the depths of despair in order to pull through to the other side. A long and desperate emotional journey. One that they will try to forge through by focusing on something else fiercely that will allow them to move through one day into the next; another family member, a joyful memory, a new cause.

I have my young son to hug and hold tight. I think that I have time for the world to get its shit together, before I have to nudge him out of the nest and give him wings to fly. But we never really know how long that time is. It certainly isn't forever, so I choose to stay put in the day I'm in. To marvel at and treasure how we're living through today instead of living in fear of what tomorrow could bring. And that's how I'm moving through what life has dealt us. I'm the lucky one. I know that. And I feel less guilty about it because I appreciate it. But when I figure out a way to help the healing of Newtown, I'll be better able to sleep at night.

ON FUN ~ Even Santa Needs A Letter To Know What You Need...

2012-12-05T22:53:00.000-05:00

Image courtesy Karen Harvey Cox

"If you don't ask, you don't get."

~ LESSON #48

(I must first preface my thoughts on the above by saying that I recently realized, after 45 "50 Lessons" posts, that the chain letter of this list that I was working off of was quite inaccurate in the order of Ms. Brett's actual list. I went back and corrected all of my previous entries to match the correct Lesson number. Which is why you find me covering Lesson #48 just now. You will find the remaining lessons to be in random order. For myself, who values accuracy and proper quotation, this is annoying. For you, it shouldn't make any difference - the lessons and my thoughts are in the end, the point - not their order of appearance.)

I've always felt I was a pretty secure person. Once I moved beyond those insecure teenage years of course. I am always encouraging people, girls especially, to be strong, and go after what they deserve. To not be shy. To not be afraid. Validate themselves by going after what means the most to them. I remind myself to muster up my own courage to do these things all of the time. So I'm not afraid to put myself out there and stick to my guns. But I am often ashamed to ask for what I need.

If no one knows that you are in need of something - be it money, love, or a break from the chaos - it is hard for them to provide what you could use the most. There are moments in time where you have to put aside your pride and be honest with those who can help. There is a tremendous sense of relief when you confess your needs. Because inevitably, those you reach out to come through. Without judgement. They come through because they care.

Think about when someone you care for is suffering. You wish you knew what to do. How to be of the most help. Your greatest desire is to provide relief and make things better. You feel lost and useless and bumble around with attempts to ease their burden, only to find that what you've offered or provided is the same thing everyone else is doing. Don't waste time. Your time, being troubled over what you don't have. Their time, trying to figure out what you need most.

I recently read a book by Anne Lamott about her life as a single mom during her son's first year. A friend came by on one particularly challenging day and asked her what one thing she really would like to have him do for her the most. She threw caution to the wind and decided to confess her greatest need at that moment - for her bathroom to be cleaned. And as ashamed as she was to admit it, the result was pure joy. Her friend happily scrubbed away and left her with a place to scrub away her own stress. She was honest. Most of us would have shooed our friend away, trying to put up a front of having it all together. What I'm trying to say is that sometimes, it is okay to ask for what we need. Someone to give us a ride, a loan, a night out, a hug.

Every now and then, such as with Ms. Lamott, you don't have to ask for what you need - someone asks you to tell them. When you get so lucky, for God's sake, answer honestly. And the rest of the time, don't wait for your friends to ask if everything's all right. If you're as good at hiding your reality as you think, they'll never figure it out. And you'll never get the relief you need. Time is precious. Ask. And ask again. Until you get what you need to make the time worthwhile.

ON FAMILY ~ Faithful Roots...

2012-11-04T20:53:00.000-05:00

Image courtesy Hannah @ Mama Whimsy

"Read the psalms no matter what your faith, they cover every human emotion."

~ LESSON #38

I must first preface my thoughts on the above by saying that I recently realized, after 45 "50 Lessons" posts, that the chain letter of this list that I was working off of was quite inaccurate in the order of Ms. Brett's actual list. I went back and corrected all of my previous entries to match the correct Lesson number. Which is why you find me covering Lesson #38 just now. You will find the remaining lessons to be in random order. For myself, who values accuracy and proper quotation, this is annoying. For you, it shouldn't make any difference - the lessons and my thoughts are in the end, the point - not their order of appearance.)

My grandmother was a woman of strong faith. Both of my grandmothers were, in fact. I'm not sure if their devotion skipped some generations or what exactly, but my parents, and myself as a result, are not big churchgoers. My religious teachings essentially ended when I entered high school - probably a time they would have provided a lot of good moral lessons that I otherwise ignored altogether ;0) I always enjoyed church and the bible stories that were imparted to me as a child. As an adult, I decided to pick up my Bible and read through it, rather than reading whatever modern fiction was on my radar at the time. I do love a good classic after all.

The trouble I had with my attempt at reading the Bible was that it felt like reading Shakespeare - the language threw up a roadblock to something I wasn't completely enthusiastic about to begin with. Truth be told, when I entered into more unfamiliar territory the farther along I went, I got lazy and gave up.

My grandmother didn't give up. At her funeral, the preacher read to us from her own Bible. It was clear that my grandmother's favorite book was indeed The Good Book. Her love, devotion and personal connection to the scriptures inside were evident by the margins filled with her personal notations and well worn, dog-eared pages.

My grandmother's religious practice may not have filtered down to me in the same way, but I did inherit her propensity to fill my beloved books with myself; scribbles, notations, markings and turned down pages.

I want to revisit my grandmother's favorite book. I wish that I had her own copy at my disposal to infuse my reading with her personality. I believe that my uncle has this prized possession, as he should. But I do have a lot of her personality already within me. In fact, both of my grandmothers' personalities thrive within me. They were headstrong, forward thinking, fiercely protective, and devoted. I come from excellent stock. And because headstrong is a polite way to describe someone who is stubborn, I have no excuse but to begin my goal again and forge ahead.

And who knows, perhaps I'll decorate my Bible with my personality as I read along, leaving something for my son to have when he's in need of some extra guidance.

ON FAMILY ~ Casting Call...

2012-10-08T23:20:00.001-04:00

"Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying."

~ LESSON #16

(I must first preface my thoughts on the above by saying that I recently realized, after 45 "50 Lessons" posts, that the chain letter of this list that I was working off of was quite inaccurate in the order of Ms. Brett's actual list. I went back and corrected all of my previous entries to match the correct Lesson number. Which is why you find me covering Lesson #16 just now. You will find the remaining lessons to be in random order. For myself, who values accuracy and proper quotation, this is annoying. For you, it shouldn't make any difference - the lessons and my thoughts are in the end, the point - not their order of appearance.)

See that sorry mug up there? That's my sweet Sammy Sam, leaving the hospital with a full leg cast on his right leg. A week ago, we were out with my parents on a playground, after a celebratory birthday lunch for Grandpa. Riding down one of the big kid slides on my lap, Sammy's shoe caught the edge of the slide on an unexpected turn at the bottom. It was enough to twist his foot and leg to cause a "toddler fracture." It seems this often happens when kids get their foot stuck in the slat of their crib. Of course in my world, it happens with him in my arms, trying to have fun. Mother of the year.

After breaking his leg, Sammy was wrapped up in this cast and I was told that it could not get wet at all and it would stay on for three weeks. And since it is a full leg cast, disallowing him to bend his knee, walking would be out of the picture too. Well, Sammy had just spent the last two months perfecting this walking and running skill. He had been waiting his WHOLE LIFE to walk and run. And now it was off the table. He also is a big fan of baths. Ernie's "Rubber Ducky" tune could be the boy's theme song. So, you can imagine how bummed out he felt that first day.

As a baby, Sammy was miserable before he could crawl. He would sit there and flap his arms and wail for someone - anyone - to come by and pick him up and move him to wherever it was that he wanted to be. His demeanor changed dramatically when he figured out how to crawl. And it got even better when he figured out how to walk. Now that he found himself being held back in "being mobile class," he was furious. When he woke up to find that stupid cast still stuck on his leg wasn't just a bad dream, he fussed and whined and played the injury card every minute. And of course, I coddled and spoiled and begged forgiveness. And although he enjoyed the attention, the novelty wore off pretty quickly when he realized I still couldn't read his mind after 14 months of effort. If he wanted what he wanted, he'd have to come up with another way to just get it himself.

By the end of the first day after the cast arrived on his leg, he had climbed in and out of his toy basket and all the way up the stairs without a slip. It was a noisy climb - lots of thwacking of the cast on the wood stairs. It was a hairy climb - as his spotter, I had endless visions of a tumbling toddler needing a full body cast and calls to Social Services. It was a tiring climb - a deliberate pace and impressive display of upper body strength. But most importantly, it was a joyous climb - Sammy plopped on the landing at the top, turned around with a beaming smile and clap-clap-clapped with great pride. He had discovered that he wasn't trapped in a cast after all. He could still be independent.

The next day he improved upon the dragging crawl and perfected the crab crawl technique. From there, he began to prop himself up on furniture and then shuffled into some furniture surfing. By the fourth day, he was pushing his toy car around and around the kitchen as if there was no cast underneath his pant leg. On the fifth day, he started walking.

I am concerned that this walking skill may harm his healing process. At the hospital, I was told by the orthopedic doctor that Sam had no restrictions aside from water. But the doctor also said that Sam would not be ABLE to walk because of the cast. This child is able to do anything because of his powerful will to do everything his mother wishes he wouldn't. I need to call this doctor and find out if we need to strap Sammy to a board for the remaining two weeks or if his peg leg maneuvers will be okay; Sammy's definition of a walking cast is a little different from the medical one.

I am very thankful that our little boy has such a determined spirit. That he recognizes already how much better it is to do things than to wait for things to happen. By the time his Get Well Soon care packages arrived from sad friends and family, he was making his way to the door to say hello to the delivery truck. He does not want or need a pity party. Instead, you should feel sorry for Tedy, the cat. As you can see at the end of this video, he just can't catch a break...

ON FUN ~ Burden of Trust...

2012-09-16T22:13:00.000-04:00

Image credit uncertain - found on Google Images with allowable sharing categorization

"God never gives us more than we are designed to carry."

~ LESSON #10

(I must first preface my thoughts on the above by saying that I just realized, after 45 "50 Lessons" posts, that the chain letter of this list that I was working off of was quite inaccurate in the order of Ms. Brett's actual list. I went back and corrected all of my previous entries to match the correct Lesson number. Which is why you find me covering Lesson #10 just now. What previously I believed to be #10 was in actuality, not a lesson of Ms. Brett's at all! It was a great mantra, to be sure. But something that was inserted into the telephone game of email chain letters along the way. Not of Ms. Brett's work. So for the remaining 6 lessons, you will find them to be in random lesson numbers. For myself, who values accuracy and proper quotation, this is annoying. For you, it shouldn't make any difference - the lessons and my thoughts are in the end, the point - not their order of appearance.)

None of us feel that we are Job. I'll bet Job didn't feel he was Job. Until it was demanded of him. And then he saw that he could bend more than he could break. That his incomparable suffering was born of something other than retribution. In other words, he didn't get what he deserved - he wasn't punished for being evil, wrong or shameful. He was being tested. And in the end was given reward. Now, it seems to me that replacement children aren't exactly a fair reward, but who am I to question these things? No one, according to God. Don't question - he's too busy with too many things as creator and manager of our entire humankind to spend time explaining it all to me. He is smarter, wiser and more experienced. Just do what I tell you to do, believe what I tell you to believe, and don't ever waver. Trust.

When stricken by grief, trust is all we have. Sometimes perhaps we deserve the emotional turmoil. Sometimes perhaps we don't. But that isn't the point. We all get thrown curve balls. My level of struggle should not be compared to your level of struggle. For my comparatively minimal troubles may be taking a mammoth toll on my psyche, my heart, my physical abilities. They are the limit of my burden. The most weight that I can carry. It doesn't mean that I am weaker, less willing or a big fat wimp. It means that my level of burden produces the same amount of toll that yours does on you.

Generally, women cannot run as fast, lift as much, throw as far as men. It is just in the way that we are put together. When we push the limits of our physical abilities, the way that our throat burns, our muscles ache or our heart races at the max level of exertion is the same effect that men feel at their max level of exertion. We push ourselves as far as we individually can handle and collectively share in the same after effects of our efforts.

I don't know how much I can carry in life. It may be that what I tote around seems far less than my neighbor, friend or family member. It may seem to be far more. But I trust that it will be the most that I can bear.

ON FUN ~ The Gift...

2012-08-26T18:09:00.001-04:00

Image courtesy Stock.Xchng

"Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

~ LESSON #50

Every year, at the end of August, the local Boston sports talk radio station and the Red Sox TV broadcast station join together for two days to raise money for cancer. It is called the Jimmy Fund Radio Telethon because all proceeds go to support the Jimmy Fund at Boston's Dana-Farber Cancer Institute. The Jimmy Fund clinic primarily supports children battling all kinds of cancer. It becomes a safe haven for these kids. A place where the scary things they are dealing with melt away and they are allowed to feel normal, happy and strong. The nurses, doctors and staff at the clinic embrace every patient, their family and support group with unconditional love, patience and determination. They make these kids feel like a part of a community, instead of alone, angry and depressed while missing out on everything their friends are able to do.

This year's telethon raised $3,200,000 in 48 hours. How? Because they present a non-stop conversation with current patients, former patients and family members of patients who didn't survive. There are little tiny kids. Teens. College students. Grown men and women. All of them come on air to tell their personal story of cancer, the Jimmy Fund and Dana-Farber. You cannot listen to these folks without becoming angry. Angry that cancer is still winning out so often. Angry that sweet souls are put through the wringer. Angry that it could be different if there was just more funding for research and treatment. But these folks aren't angry.

They are THANKFUL. BLESSED. Every one of them relays this. Cancer brought them to Dana-Farber and the Jimmy Fund clinic. To people doing God's work on Earth. To friendships and memories that revitalize their lives. They MISS going to the clinic. They MISS getting to see their care providers all the time. That's how powerful a place it is. Through the most agonizing, scary and threatening times of their battle, the Jimmy Fund and Dana-Farber make it a positive experience.

I don't always get what I want out of my life. Sometimes that is because I am too lazy or too afraid to pursue it. Sometimes that is because things just aren't fair. And I start to feel sorry for myself. To lament. And then the Jimmy Fund Radio Telethon comes along and smacks me upside the head. I haven't had to fight for my life, or watch my child helplessly raise up his little fists to beat back cancer. Too many have. And they appreciate every second they have. The kind soldiers at the Jimmy Fund and Dana-Farber help them to see roses where there are mostly weeds. For these patients, the gift of life often seems like the booby prize. But the Jimmy Fund warriors do their best to hand out the shiniest bows to each and every patient coming through their doors.

ON FUN ~ Getting To Know You...

2012-08-07T23:05:00.001-04:00

The Gal Herself has tagged us for the Liebster Blog Award, which comes with the following criteria:

Each person must post 11 facts about themselves.
Answer 11 questions the tagger has given you
Choose 11 people and link them in your post. Tell them you’ve tagged them - no tag backs.
Give 11 questions for the people you’ve tagged.

It annoys me when people hijack a concept and morph it into something entirely different without changing the name. Kind of like how The Count of Monte Cristo "the movie" (circa 2002) should have been called "Happily Ever After," giving fans of the book a head's up that they needn't bother wasting a few hours being pissed off at the completely different plot. I wasn't even that huge a fan of the book and even I was enraged by the cinematic "interpretation."

The Liebster Blog Award has evolved over the years. It seems that a few years ago its intent was to promote bloggers with minimal followers; to give them some props and increase their exposure. Actually, it seems that even a few months ago, others simply had to acknowledge, thank and pass along this award. Yet somehow, by the time it arrived on The Gal's blog threshold, it had morphed into a complicated set of requirements involving "getting to know you" questions. The Gal decided to add us to her shortlist for this award, which translates from German into "Dearest" Blog Award. Luckily for The Gal, I like getting to know people by answering and creating questions. And so I have very graciously accepted this award.

It has been a few years since anyone gave anything out to me. Am I just unpopular without any readership these days or have you noticed that the award frenzy fell by the wayside a while ago in the blogosphere? Maybe it's just that I live within a more veteran niche of bloggers now and awards are for newbies. But The Gal has been around this blogosphere a lot longer than I have, so it is more likely that I am no longer cool enough for award consideration. As a result, I have decided to respond to the award's current "11 Things About Yourself" criteria on behalf of little Sammy Sam, who is definitely a newbie:

I will be tall enough to play on the Olympic Basketball Team in a few months. (I get this from Daddy)
I may look like Manute Bol though; I am quite a string bean. (I must get this from my Uncle Nate - Mama & Daddy, not so much these days)
If the Flock of Seagulls want to reunite I could take over as lead singer; my hair forms a natural mohawk which is not troublesome to me in any way. (I get this from Daddy - you should see his bed head when I take off his hat in public)
I have incredible dance moves that involve shaking my mohawk'd head just so. (I get this from Daddy - you should see his Travolta "point")
I enjoy spa treatments, but skip the facials. Sunscreen, or any lotion applied lovingly, is fine with me - except on my face. (I get this from Mama, who tells me her only facial was a train wreck)
I can play with any kind of balls all day long. (Insert getting this from Daddy joke here)
I am hooked on jingles. I can get to the TV in two seconds flat whenever I hear that Southwest tune for the commercial with the balls being tossed in the air. (You should hear my Mama's jingle catalog)
The library brings out the best in me - lots of carpeted space to cover, endless books to pull off of shelves, a puppet show castle, train table and a salt water fish tank. I want to be here forever. (I get this from Mama)
I hate vegetables. There is no way that the yummy bread I scarf down has zucchini AND carrots mushed in there.(I get this from Mama too)
If I don't make it as a basketball player, I may become the next Michael Phelps. Water is awesome - from a faucet, in a tub, through a hose, at the lake. It's the waves that scare me - pool laps here I come! (I get this from everyone but Grammy, who doesn't know how to swim and therefore hopes I avoid her fear)
Everybody's Got Something To Hide Except For Me And My Monkey. My special lovey is a blue, fleece, baby-sized blanket with a monkey head and little monkey arms sticking off the top. It has a green star stitched in and the tag does not reveal its maker. No one knows who gave him to me and so I do the best I can not to lose him. He is my everything and allows me to feel comfort when Mama and Daddy can't climb into my crib with me. (I get this from Mama who still has her Cuddle bear and from Daddy who loves The Beatles and keeps singing that song to me)

And now for The Gal's questions for us, about us. I'll make these from my "grown-up" perspective simply because Andy has fallen asleep on the couch and Sammy isn't capable of speaking in English. Plus, I don't know any Latvian translators (I seriously think that's what he's picked up somewhere in a playgroup):

What's Your Oldest Memory? Sledding. With my Dad. In our front yard in North Carolina. Must have been a celebratory dusting when we lived near the mountains. I couldn't have been more than 3.
Who Was Your First Crush? Miss Richardson. She was my 1st Grade Teacher in the mid-Seventies when I lived in Columbia, South Carolina. She was probably in her 20's at the time. If you know Miss Richardson today, tell her that I thought she was the prettiest lady, other than my mama, that I ever saw and that because of her sock puppet lesson, I have been addicted to puppets ever since. In fact, I think I still have that sock puppet she lovingly helped me to bring alive. Lucky Sammy!
When Was The Last Time You Cried? I am not a crier. I get teary eyed a lot. But I only seem to shed tears when things are monumentally terrible and then they come in buckets. I guess I store them up or something. The last time I cried must have been on Sam's Very Bad Day. Back when he was just a month old. I couldn't generate enough breast milk to keep the little Hoover happy. This meant that whenever I held him, he could smell milk but couldn't have what he wanted. Which pissed him off. Which made me feel inadequate. Either I couldn't provide the basic needs for my child or I couldn't comfort him when he was upset. And so we just cried. Together. Very long and very loud - especially on his Very Bad Day. At the end of that Very Bad Day we had out of town guests stopping by with their beautiful older children who had everything all together. I sat there for about two seconds with red rimmed eyes before I broke out into exhausted hysterics and had to sequester myself in Sam's room with him while I tried to nurse inadequately. My friend came and sat with me and told me how they had to use a vacuum cleaner to get their oldest to sleep for a few months. I felt much better knowing that all Sam needed was a hair dryer - so advanced.
How Often Do You Read The Newspaper? Rarely. First of all, I don't have time to read anything anymore. Because of that time-hogging Sammy Sam. Secondly, I couldn't possible read a real paper newspaper anymore due to the inky fingers and constant hand washing that Sammy Sam would require. I get the majority of my news from the local 6:00 broadcast, which I think may in fact be more obsolete than the newspaper. But when I want to know something before then, I go to the Boston Globe's online website and read their published news in a more modern format - which happens to be free.
What Is Something You Won't Scrimp On, No Matter How Tight Your Budget? I am very budget conscious but I despise coupon clipping. My mother used to make me hold her shoe box full of coupons when we went grocery shopping. I never enjoyed that job. I preferred looking around at all the things we couldn't buy. These days, I suppose the one item that is recurring on our credit cards and causing me the most guilt is my hair salon appointment. I blame this on my friend's wedding a few years ago. Prior to that I had my hair snipped at a chain cutting factory without a care in the world. Having my hair done at a salon by the owner lured me in and now I go every 6-8 weeks for a cut and color and a lot less in the budget to cover diapers and wipes. But I get over it. I feel better when I look better. I'm already a geriatric mom. I don't need the world to know this.
Do You Enjoy Your Time In The Bath Or Shower? Or Is It Merely For Hygiene/Grooming, Like Brushing Your Teeth? I've spoken about this very topic before.
Close Your Eyes And Think Of A Song. Which One Popped Into Your Head? "If You're Happy And You Know It." We clap our hands often around here.
What's The Biggest Dollar Bill In Your Wallet Right Now? There are no bills in my wallet right now. See #5. I paid in quarters today to get into the local State Park so Sammy could bask in the cool lake waters. Lucky for Sammy, his Daddy actually empties his pocket of change into jars each night.
You're Home. It's 9:30 At Night. You're Hungry. What Do You Snack On? Have you not read my Ode?
Are You A Felix (Neat Freak) Or An Oscar (Slob)? I am a converted Oscar. Meaning that I am very good at keeping things tidy, but not very willing to make things clean. I know that my slovenly nature is disgusting to others, and so I try very hard to create an illusion of neatness. With Sam's arrival, I have noticed a lot of OCD tendencies however. I sing this "Clean Up" song to him while putting his playroom back together before we move on - I learned this tune in his playgroup which I think may be a neat cult of some sort - neat as in tidy - not as in cool.
When Did You Last Send Someone A Card? It Could Be A Greeting Card, Or A Postcard. But You Had To Address It, Put A Stamp On It And Mail It. E-Cards Or A Card You Simply Handed A Person Don't Count. I wonder why handing someone a written card is not as valid as mailing it to them, Gal? I would think that a hand delivered card would carry a little extra weight. Putting it there, in their palm, with personal emotion. Or gently placing it in the screen door while tiptoeing away so as not to disturb your neighbor - who watches with great feeling as you think you've sneaked off without displaying that personal touch. I honestly think a personally delivered card takes chutzpah. Which is why the majority of mine are mailed. I don't want to look you in the eye while you decide to pick that very moment to open said card and read its private sentiments. I have been sending personal, handwritten cards for the past year. Thank yous to all of Sammy's loving tribe.

And FINALLY! The part where we create questions and assign them to other bloggers! To get to the depths of who you are and why you care! To learn about YOU! However - I have spent so much time crafting the rest of this post that I have no creative juices left to give this portion of the criteria its due. So instead, I ask ALL of you this:

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BLOG POST - THAT YOU HAVE WRITTEN?

Leave your link in the Comments and we can accomplish the Liebster Blog Award goal; getting to know each other without a bunch of rules to follow ;0)

ON FAMILY ~ Milestones...

2012-08-01T20:05:00.000-04:00

Sammy had a busy week. He turned a year old. He tasted cake and frosting for the first time. He had a ginormous BBQ in his honor with family and friends, a pinata, a rain storm, more cake and lots of presents and balloons. Then he spent a few days exploring all of his presents that require their own addition to the house. He had his doctor check-up where he got a gold star, and a couple of extremely painful shots that snuck right up on him and made him cry buckets. He ditched his bottles and went straight to milk in a sippy cup without complaint. Oh, and he learned to do this...

ON FAMILY ~ Tedy's Choice...

2012-07-09T20:45:00.002-04:00

"Yield."

~ LESSON #49

Yield, verb - To surrender or submit (oneself) to another.
Sammy is about to turn a year old the end of this month. Of all of the wondrous things we've witnessed since he joined our little Bumble world, perhaps the most amazing is that not once has our beloved cat, Tedy, raised a paw towards him in any way.
Since the day Sammy was brought home, Tedy has embodied the definition of "yield." At first, I think this was more because he was curious and unsure of who this little hairless cat was living in our home. But as the weeks went by, and it was proven that Sammy was here to stay, Tedy made a choice. He could have lashed out in anger, fear or jealousy. He could have swatted, jumped on or otherwise pestered or endangered baby Sam. But he didn't. He decided instead to yield.
He became a protector, a pal and a patient pet. He has been content to observe, to tolerate overzealous little fingers and to find ever higher perches out of harm's way. As Sam has become more and more mobile, I expect that surely this will be the stage when Tedy revolts. Where he will refuse to yield to the pesky kid. But it appears they have both grown comfortable with each other and their boundaries, making life more enjoyable for all parties involved.
Every now and then, Tedy will steal one of Sammy's toys - it is torture I'm sure to watch balls roll around everywhere and not pounce on one every now and then. In those moments, it is Sam's turn to yield. He does so with glee, clapping and smiling at his furry cat...momentarily...before chasing after him. It seems Sam needs to take a page out of Tedy's yielding notebook more often.

ON FAMILY ~ Seize The Day...

2012-06-24T21:46:00.000-04:00

"No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up for life."

~ LESSON #46

Gah. I am the world's laziest Bumble. Even when I feel terrific, I would generally opt for sleeping in, lounging on the couch in my PJ's and staying at home ordering delivery. To me, that's a perfectly acceptable way to pass the day. Of course, that is exactly what it is. Passing the day away. Not seizing the day.

My co-worker seizes the day. She runs the Boston Marathon every year. She runs "fun" runs on the weekends. She goes to the gym, boxing classes, track training. She's nuts. But she gets up, looks great and gets there, even when she'd rather hang at home catching up on her DVR.

Andy seizes the day. The man never misses a day of work. And every morning, he gets up to give Tedy the cat his medicine and breakfast, comes back to bed for a catnap of his own, and then gets up again to feed Sammy while I roust myself. Then he goes to work. Or, if its a weekend, just hangs with the boy. He never sleeps in. On Father's Day I insisted on taking care of the morning round of feedings, and he still got up shortly after they were done. He may not always "dress up" but he gets dressed and takes on the world when I know he'd rather take a nap.

I try to seize the day now most of the time. Sammy gives me no alternative. See that mischievous little guy up above? That's what happens when he gets bored. My job is to make sure he learns something every day. Maybe not something new. But building upon newer skills. Refining. He can't learn anything if I'm in my PJ's watching game shows. Well, I suppose he could learn price points from The Price Is Right. But lets focus on saying Ma-Ma first. Most days we have a plan. Some place to be. And so I get up, get dressed and get there. But every now and then, we don't have anything to do. I elect to skip the shower. Stay in my PJ's. Keep on the glasses instead of swapping out for my contacts. Play inside all day instead of going for a walk so the world won't see my grimy, lazy self. And wouldn't you know, the one day I skip the effort, the UPS guy shows up needing me to sign for my neighbor's package?

It turns out, my son is teaching me a lesson here. By tugging on that damn activity box on his crib rail every morning and waking me to the Itsy Bitsy Spider tune over and over and over again at the crack of dawn, he forces me to get up, get dressed and show up to wherever it is we need to be, regardless of whether I'm in an "under-the-covers-watching-soaps" or "I-can't-believe-how-beautiful-the-weather-is" kind of mood. Who knew even lazy summer days need motivation to get kick-started?

ON FAMILY ~ Retreat...

2012-06-17T15:46:00.001-04:00

Where oh where have I been this past month? I wish I could say I was jet-setting somewhere beautiful and exotic. Sadly, no. I haven't even been transporting myself virtually to another world through reading. No time, no time. I have been out living life. Not an exotic one. Just hanging out in and around our town. Watching Sammy grow bigger and stronger, learning new skills that he is proud to show off over and over to anyone who will look his way, even if that is just Tedy the cat. Working my tail off when he sleeps. In the office. At home from my laptop and smartphone. Doing chores, yardwork, running errands. Trying to figure out how to earn more income without sacrificing more time. Making time for just Andy and I to get out together and catch a Sox game, a concert, have dinner - things we can't afford anymore but that we need to do for ourselves to stay tethered to each other - the selves we were before Sammy took over our hearts.

Just as we ask our little boy to give up things he doesn't really need anymore, like his pacifier, we give up a lot of things we enjoy but don't really need in order to be content. We take cues from Sam, who prefers boxes to the pricey things packaged inside of them. A good, healthy meal made from home is not as much of an event as heading out for some fancy dining out on the town, with a beautiful view, outdoor dining and tantalizing tastes served by someone else at a relaxing pace.

We dine in much of the time now. But it is still quite an event. Sam's exploration of food - the faces, the actions, the sounds - provide lots of entertainment. And frustration of course. Mess, fits and waste can be disappointing. Such glee though, when a new food is consumed without a fight! Reason for a toast indeed. Dinner of our own is usually reserved for after Sam's bedtime. A dessert of sorts.

Andy creates his own cookbook by filling a plain binder with printouts of recipes he's come across online, copied from magazines or from other cookbooks. Sometimes I forward blog posts of recipes to him too (hint hint). On the nights when he isn't rushing off to play for the Longshots, he swings by the grocery store to gather ingredients for that evening's dinner. After playing with Sammy and watching his dinner performance, Andy whips up our meal while I tuck our little one into bed. And when he's finished with his culinary efforts, we enjoy a meal together. Discuss our day, take in the Sox game on TV, or perhaps enjoy our meal outside on the patio gazing out onto our lovely yard with some tunes playing in the background.

We aren't dressed up and we have to do our own clean-up, but it is just as nice as going out to eat. Better, actually. The nutritional value is better under Andy's cooking control and the taste is exactly what we want, when we want it. And we don't need a babysitter to have it.

No. I haven't been off leading an exotic life. But it's a life I treasure with quite possibly one of the world's best dads and husbands. So don't worry about me when I am on a blog hiatus. I'm spending my free moments from working and mothering sitting outside watching the world unfold in our backyard over a tasty meal with a sweet guy.

ON FUN ~ Better Days Are A Bath Away...

2012-05-20T20:56:00.000-04:00

"The best is yet to come."

~ LESSON #45

Getting to see little Sam experience the world anew every day reminds me how hopeful we begin our lives. Everything is interesting, wondrous and generally impressive. Sometimes things are scary, but those often spur on a determined spirit. I love watching my son's wheels turn. To process the information overload that the world presents and figure out what to do with it all. Every day I ask him what he dreamed about during his sleep and then work to expose him to some new experience on which to build more dreams. I want him to look forward to the start of each day. To the endless possibilities of excitement, pleasure and fulfillment.

Eventually he will whine about wanting to stay in bed, to sleep the day away, to avoid the world or shut it off now and then. We all do that from time to time. I want to do it every time it is cold and rainy - the perfect day to stay in bed with soap operas. But I drag myself out of my comfy covers and into the shower. I scrub the grumpiness out of my soul and start thinking instead of what's on tap for the day. What needs to be done and what places I'll be. I think about whether there will be time to branch out - to go around a corner and see what's there. A way to try something new. It motivates me to allow myself the potential for change.

Do you do this in the shower? Plan out your day? Get your thoughts in order? Dream a little? For me, the shower is like a clean start - physically and mentally. It brightens the spirit and gives me a fresh beginning. When I'm not going so well, it provides a little hope. Makes me feel new and shiny. That today will be different. Today will be better. When I'm going great, it provides confidence and confirms that today will be the best. The only time it isn't a happy haven is when I have an annoying tune stuck in my head. In the shower, I just can't shake it. That damn song hangs over me like the steam clouding the mirror.

Getting from that lazy, sad spot to the fresh and motivating shower is the hard part. But knowing that better things are out there in the world does the trick every time. The cool stuff is not going to come to my room - no matter how many channels my TV receives. The cool stuff is outside, around new corners, with other people. People who appreciate nice smelling shampoo and soap.

ON FAMILY ~ Making It To Mother's Day...

2012-05-10T14:36:00.001-04:00

This weekend will be my first Mother's Day with my child to hold in my arms. He was just a Baby-Bumble-To-Be last year when I waddled around in May, trying to get renovation projects around the house and yard wrapped up before all of our finances needed to be devoted to our child. So although he was brewing inside, I hadn't met him yet and so last Mother's Day was more anticipation than enjoyment.

Baby Sammy is now 9 months old. Helping my little boy grow and change hasn't been easy. Many days leave me bewildered and beaten. Thankfully, our family and friends have helped to teach me some valuable lessons. And of course, some fellow moms in the blogosphere have also contributed gifts to help me be a better mom to Sam...

Stacy Helped Sam Learn to Sleep:

Sam has been a good little sleeper from the beginning. He never had confusion between day and night sleep. We worked diligently on creating good wake/sleep patterns and established as much of a sleep routine as possible. The hardest challenge was getting him to learn how to put himself to sleep. Thanks to Stacy @ Stacy's Books, this process became a reality thanks to her gift of a musical "Lullaby Dog" that plays 20 minutes of music and has a glowing moon. This little dog is like a beacon for Sam, capturing his attention and creating a very soothing environment. Best of all, it is portable - meaning that it can be with him in his crib at home or in the Pack N Play on the road. Stacy sent us "Lullaby Dog" before Sam was born, along with some sleep training books that gave us input on structuring Sam's sleep habits. These generous gifts have been a God-send.

Sandy Helped Sam to Stay Warm:

When Sam is with his Auntie on the days I have to go in to the office part-time, he gets to be around his cousins and their friends. This is a LOT more entertaining that sitting around the house all day with me watching the cat steal his toys. He loves learning from his little cousin Grace who thinks he's the only baby in the world. In fact, she simply calls him Baby. Grace's older brothers, Will and Timmy, love to dote on him too. In return, Sammy enjoys going along to their activities to cheer them on. Timmy is a fantastic hockey goalie and his team won their championship this year. Thanks to Sandy @ You've GOTTA Read This, Sam stayed nice and warm in all of the hockey rinks he visited to watch Timmy's games. Sandy sent us this adorable hat from her vacation to Poland last year. The ear flaps kept him nice and toasty and the festive toque made him fit right in.

Kaye Helped Sam Learn to Crawl:

Sam spent the majority of his last two months being extremely frustrated. You see, although he knew how to roll over and sit up, he did not know how to crawl. He didn't find it all that enjoyable rolling all the way across the floor every time he wanted to go somewhere. He would sit there and flap his arms instead, fussing for someone - anyone - to pick him up and move him from place to place. Slowly but surely, he got up on his hands and knees, learned to rock back and forth, and move backwards - then forwards - a few paces before falling on his belly like a beached whale. His falls were made more comfortable thanks to the soft, cushy and beautiful quilt that Kaye @ The Road Goes Ever On made by hand especially with him in mind. Shortly after Sammy was born, we received this amazing quilt in the mail from Kaye, along with a baseball blanket that we love as well. The design matches his nursery theme of Peter Rabbit and is what we use on a daily basis for him to sit on while he plays with his toys. When he finally figured out how to crawl for real, it was on Kaye's quilt.

We have received so many tokens of love and support for baby Sam from family and friends - in our part of the world and through the blogosphere. Some have been books or clothing, toys or gear. Many others have been words of wisdom and humor. They have all made my first year of motherhood easier and more enjoyable. I hope you find a way to enjoy this Mother's Day weekend - as a mom being with her children, as a child celebrating their mother or as a friend honoring someone else's mom. I'll be with my mom, letting her chase her grandson around all day.

ON FUN: Luck Has Nothing To Do With It...

2012-04-23T22:34:00.000-04:00

Image courtesy Simple Design Store

"Envy is a waste of time. You already have everything you truly need."

~ LESSON #44

When I was younger, I spent a lot of time being envious of others. I looked at the lives of friends and family and coveted the various things that they had going on that I didn't. I wanted to have the handsome and loving boyfriend. I wanted to have the terrific job that paid well. I wanted to have a shiny new car that didn't need repairs. I wanted to have the glorious apartment in the trendy location.

As I got older, some of those nice things came into my life. They weren't enough. There were still things happening to other people that weren't happening for me. I wanted to have a husband willing to commit to me. I wanted to have a home of my own with a yard and everything. I wanted to have a real vacation of my own design. I wanted to have tickets to all the cool events in town.

Over the years some of those desires became a reality. They weren't enough. Someone else was always involved with bigger and better things. I wanted to have a loving child. I wanted to have a different career. I wanted to have a beautifully renovated home. I wanted to meet new and exciting people from around the world.

I now have a son, a new job, a comfortable home and friends from throughout the blogosphere connecting me to their worlds daily. I have what I have because I worked very hard. I didn't stay envious, pout and compare my life to those I felt had it better than me. No one wants to date a sour puss who stays home feeling sorry for herself. No one wants to give a raise to a distracted slacker, wishing she could lounge around instead of working hard to improve. No one wants to travel with a complainer who is never happy with the accommodations. I relaxed and took stock of my life. I realized that I had an abundance of friends. I had a supportive family. I had a paycheck. I had good health. I had all I needed to get me where I wanted to be. While I had been busy being envious of others, I saw that I had been neglecting the qualities of my life that others would kill to have. I decided not to sit around waiting to be lucky. I already was.

I will always be seeking more, more, more. Because I want to always learn, explore and grow. I will want more knowledge and experience. I will want more compassion and love. I will want more variety. Because these are the things that make me happy. I will always seek inspiration from what is going on with others in the world around me. But I will not be envious of them. Because I have all that I need. The ability to live well, laugh often and love much.

We are all capable of these things. Living well means giving yourself to others when they need you. Laughing often means finding joy in both the simple and the glorious occurrences out there every day. Loving much means having compassion for and finding common ground with folks who cross your path. You get what you give. Give often and you'll never need to be envious again.

ON FOOD ~ Healthy Pizza Night...

2012-04-07T21:45:00.000-04:00

Image courtesy Edward Pond @ Clean Eating

Every Friday night, after a long week of hard work, Andy and I like to take it easy by ordering a pizza and watching a movie from Netflix. However, in recent months we have stopped ordering pizza delivery. First of all, it is pretty expensive. Second, it isn't exactly the healthiest option.

Over the past eight months I have worked very hard to lose that baby weight that sweet Sammy left with me. After New Year's I was frustrated with my weight plateau despite exercise and a decent diet. I purchased (via a daily deal) an online weight loss package from Fit Healthy Moms that provided a series of downloadable exercise programs along with a nutritional guide and recipe suggestions. Over the next couple of months I did see some pounds fall away and my waistline slim, though I think the fact that I had the flu, strep throat and several head colds during that same period of time may have contributed to those results.

This package stressed lots of good eating habits that I already followed and some that I decided to ignore because they didn't seem worth the sacrifice (no beer? expensive organic everything? hardly any grains allowed?). The program pointed me to some websites for additional recipes that could provide caloric counts and touted a healthier outlook. In turn, I pointed Andy to those websites since he cooks and I do not. And since his cholesterol is always pushing limits that it shouldn't, I thought an infusion of food that was good for you would be helpful to him as well. Our little boy needs his elderly parents to stick around as long as they can, after all.

One website that Andy has really enjoyed delving into is Clean Eating, based on the magazine. I have no idea how user friendly their site is, since I only eat the food their recipes generate. Andy hops on there every day and searches for a new recipe to try out for dinner. Sometimes he looks for a recipe that falls under a certain prep time. Other times he searches based on a specific ingredient that we have lying around the pantry that needs to be consumed before it expires. No matter what he selects, the results are almost always delicious. He has discovered that he can have a tasty, filling meal without it loading him up with fat, salt and sugar.

After abandoning our Friday night pizza tradition in deference of our budget and our "clean eating" ways, I can't tell you how excited I was when he came home with a pizza recipe. It takes less time to prepare and cook than it can to wait for the delivery guy to arrive with a lukewarm pizza in a greasy box. It doesn't require any bizarre, expensive ingredients. It tastes delicious. And it is loaded with calcium (who knew spinach gave you calcium?) and only 230 calories a slice. Thank you Clean Eating for giving us back our Friday night tradition under our terms.

INDREDIENTS:

6 ozs. spinach leaves
One 14.5 oz. can of drained, no-salt-added diced tomatoes
1 whole wheat thin pizza crust (Boboli 12" 100% Whole Wheat Thin Crust)
2 fully cooked, all natural deli chicken sausages, sliced into 1/4" thick pieces
3 ozs. part-skim mozzarella cheese, grated (about 3/4 cup)
Olive oil cooking spray
Ground black pepper, to taste

INSTRUCTIONS:

Preheat oven to 450 degrees F.
Coat skillet with cooking spray and heat on medium low. Add spinach and cook until wilted, about 4 minutes. Season with pepper, to taste. Remove from heat and set aside.
Place 1 cup tomatoes in a fine mesh strainer and press out as much liquid as possible. Spread tomatoes onto pizza crust. Top with spinach, sausage and mozzarella.
Bake 10 minutes, or until sausage is lightly browned and cheese is melted.
Rest pizza on cutting board for 5 minutes, slice into 6 pieces and serve.

NUTRIENTS:
(Per slice) Calories = 230. Total Fat = 8g. Saturated Fat = 4g. Carbs = 25g. Fiber = 5g. Sugars = 3g. Protein = 12g. Sodium = 205mg. Cholesterol = 25mg.

ON FUN ~ Stuff Your Sorries In A Sack...

2012-03-25T20:41:00.000-04:00

"If we all threw our problems in a pile and got a look at everyone else's, we'd fight to get our own back."

~ LESSON #40

Sometimes I check myself for being too much of a Pollyanna. My approach in general is to try to look on the brighter side of things rather than wasting energy on negative feelings and stress. Which is a fine way for me to live my days internally. But when I project that onto other people sometimes, I think that it may be irritating or even a direct source of the kinds of feelings I'm trying to get other folks to avoid.

If someone I know is having a bad day or a tough time overall, reminding them that other people are worse off is not always going to have the effect I'm looking for. I want them to feel appreciative of the good things they have going for them. But really, when someone is venting to you about their crappy deal, they don't want to be cheered up by considering the greater misfortune of others. They want empathy. They want to be coddled and fawned over. They want a rousing show of support. To know that someone has their back. They need to know that their reaction to their problem is valid. Once they have that, oftentimes they move on themselves to finding a way to get beyond the challenge causing such trouble.

That's what friends do. They are supportive, nod their head in agreement and give comforting hugs or pats on the back. And sometimes they bite their tongue to keep from telling their buddy to suck it up and stop complaining about a broken arm when someone else close to you is dying from cancer.

I like this lesson's message. I remind myself how lucky I am all the time. And when I have real struggles I remind myself that it could always be worse. And that maybe the person I'm bitching too is the one that has it worse. And I do us both a favor by keeping my venting to a minimum. I save my real rants for Tedy the cat. He's a very good listener and he's got it made in the shade. I never have to worry that his life sucks more than mine.

ON FAMILY ~ Dream Weaver...

2012-03-17T23:28:00.000-04:00

"Mama - please find another job so we can pay this kid to stop sitting on me..."

I am in the market for work. Though I have a part-time job that pays me well, I am still in need of additional income to cover things like the mortgage, medical expenses and ever important tickets to a Red Sox game here and there. The problem is that I need this additional work to take place from my home. My nearly 8 month old son needs me here. What to do?

My freelance writing and editing role with the travel search engine site, Uptake, was recently eliminated. But that kind of work is something that I have always done from home around all kinds of other schedules. So I decided to pursue new freelance writing opportunities online wherever I could.

I subscribed to job posting sites sending me batches of want-ads daily from the world of writing and editing. I followed craigslist on Twitter. I searched through community postings in my town. I submitted resumes, filled out online applications and crafted personalized cover letters for job after job most every day. I even applied for a small gig at the local library because, to me, being paid babysitting rates to work amongst books is a dream. Most of the time I didn't get any sort of response. Other times, I got a standardized "thank you for your interest" reply and nothing further. It was frustrating and demoralizing. But then I thought of perusing LinkedIn and came across quite an opportunity.

I have used LinkedIn in the past to find writers for the blog I used to edit for Uptake. I also used LinkedIn to hire my own full-time office job replacement before I went on maternity leave. LinkedIn has been good to me. And now it has led me to a job that I would love to have.
Although I searched through countless job postings in the various groups I belong to on LinkedIn to no avail, it was an advanced search through the main job listings that led me to an ad for a virtual office manager/assistant to the head of an Executive Search firm. A-ha! I have been running an office and supporting a veteran salesman administratively for 18 years. I can certainly do the same for someone else from my home. However, this position is also looking for someone with strong writing skills to work on creating job listings, blast e-mails and social media outreach. This has me excited.

You know what else has me excited? The person I would be working for. He is a passionate entrepreneur. He exudes creative ideas. He has developed a company involved with placing talented professionals in challenging roles within the fast-paced and constantly evolving high-tech industry. He wants to work with the next great thing - the next Facebook, the next Google. And with the people designing those tools. I want to get on that ride. When I freelanced for Uptake, they were constantly coming up with fascinating concepts to get them one step ahead of their competition. Some of these ideas took off. Others crashed and burned. What I loved was that they shared them with all of us and encouraged our input. This fostered an environment of contagious enthusiasm and made me proud to be affiliated with them.

I also am encouraged by this company's growth. They are new but established, if that makes sense. They are growing and refining. Striving to improve. And in it for the long haul. They want to hire someone willing to stick with them, get them organized and help them to become more productive. I get the sense that they value loyalty and commitment - and would love to offer those things to their new employee. I have been blessed to work for 18 years with the same individual. I am all about the long haul.

When I interviewed for this position, I was asked what I REALLY want to do for a living. Not what I want to do for work, but what I would love to do while getting paid in the process. There is that working in a library thing. And being a beat writer for the Red Sox would be pretty damn awesome. But lets face it. At this point in my life I'm not going to go back to school for a degree in journalism. I'm not going to be a celebrated writer for a national publication covering sports or any other topic. And apparently I can't be a library assistant since I haven't heard back from that local application. What I have realized instead is that I don't particularly care much for the selling of products and services, but I do very much enjoy the behind the scenes organization that helps people get where they want to be. I like to help people. Connect with them and connect them to each other. I like to give them tools to minimize the stress and chaos. If I happened to enjoy the girly girl side of life, I'd probably be a kick-ass wedding planner. Instead, I was irritated that I missed a Red Sox perfect game while I was trying on wedding gowns.

What I want to do is to take the strengths I have and use them to make a difference. I would like to take all of my time management tools, organizational skills, motivating personality and diplomatic way of putting things and use them in this new job. From my home. Where I can be handy with my son and an empowering force for my employer. I want to help people find their own perfect job - just like I hope I may have done for myself now. I could be on the cusp of greatness with an admirable boss in a cutting edge world in between changing diapers. How often does that opportunity appear? In fact, there's only one downside to this job. Unfortunately, it's a big one.

My new would-be employer is a Yankees fan.

**Follow-up note - I did get the job!**

ON FAMILY ~ Sanity Through Showers...

2012-03-05T20:35:00.000-05:00

Andy told me I smelled nice the other night. This was likely because I had not been spit up on in the last few hours, had not eaten any garlic with dinner and had taken a shower that day. It was kind of him to recognize that I was clean. It is a feat I am quite proud of.

When I became pregnant with baby Sam, helpful friends and family gave me all kinds of suggestions and tips for motherhood. But the piece of advice that I took most to heart was to set no more than one daily goal for myself. Having goals are great motivators, but when you are an overwhelmed, overtired, clueless new mom, failing to accomplish many of them on a recurring daily basis can make you feel even more insufficient. But setting just one goal and getting it done day after day reminds you that you are capable of being that productive person you used to be before that baby came along to take over your life.

My one and only daily goal, from the day we brought Sammy home, was to take a shower. Even if I knew I wouldn't be leaving the house and that no one other than Tedy the cat and baby Sam would see me all day long, I still demanded that shower of myself. First of all, it helped me to feel human again. It isn't fun not fitting into any of your normal clothes with something other than elastic at the waist. It doesn't feel very attractive to lose handfuls of hair thanks to fun postpartum hormonal changes. You pretty much feel like an ugly lump. But you feel less lumpy and gross when your hair isn't greasy and your skin isn't grimy. Nice smelling soap, hair products and lotion do wonders for building self-esteem temporarily.

Another thing this daily shower did was to energize my day. It gave me a kick in the butt. Being up and showered meant that I could face whatever options the day presented. Being a new mom is isolating enough - you don't need an excuse to isolate yourself further because you look like a mess and are ashamed that others will see you. I could answer the door proudly if someone popped in unexpectedly with a gift for the little guy. No need to duck down in my bathrobe praying that they didn't see my flabby tummy and unkempt hair. I could take Sam out for a walk if the weather suddenly cleared up and he was having one of many "moments." No need to avoid walking by the homes of neighbors who might see me yet again in the same pukey sweats and baseball cap. And if there was an emergency visit to the doctor needed, I could get my boy there without them wondering how well I cared for him if I looked like I couldn't even brush my teeth.

I also got to practice my time management skills with this daily shower business. Initially, that meant learning how to take a shower, get ready and dressed in the small spurts that Sam would provide with his tiny little naps. Sometimes when naptime just didn't happen, it meant dragging him and his cradle into the bathroom with me and singing song after song to keep him entertained while I rinsed soap out of my eyes. It was during these days that I learned the blessed fact that the sound of the hair dryer would put him to sleep almost instantaneously. Poor kid took naps in our bathroom for many weeks after that tidbit of knowledge.

But eventually, the shower forced me to learn that if a baby cries, they don't always need to be rescued. By the time I would rinse out the conditioner, grab my robe and drip water all over creation running to his nursery, he would have stopped crying or even fallen back to sleep. That's when I learned to treat my daily shower as more than just my daily goal. It has become my daily reward. When I am in there, Sammy is safe in his crib. Generally he is also sleeping. If he cries (not wailing - wailing still results in mama streaking wet through the house) he cries. I finish that shower and savor those moments to myself. And if there is an added bonus to this that my husband compliments my nice smelling self, all the better.

ON FUN ~ Snowless Miracles...

2012-02-21T18:51:00.000-05:00

"Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting for you to discover."

~ LESSON #39

It takes a lot for me to become stir crazy. I have spent many a weekend snug as a bug in a rug in my home, curled up on the couch, watching bad TV and being thankful that Andy feeds me so I don't have to get up or go out and find something to eat. Some might call that lazy. I call it bliss. However, when a little Bumble comes into your world and requires you to get out of bed at the crack of dawn and you find yourself wide-awake, showered and holding a baby already bored with the circuit of toys our home provides by 9AM, you do whatever you can to get the hell out of the house. The miracle I'm looking for by heading outside is a peaceful baby boy.

In a typical Boston winter, we would be hibernating indoors from November to March due to blistering wind chills and heavy snowfall. There would not be the opportunity to take a stroll somewhere other than in a mall or museum and the process of scraping ice, shoveling snow and bundling layer upon layer to get there is not often worth it, nevermind the poor driving conditions. But this year is the anti-winter in Boston. We have had snow once - ONCE - the entire season. And judging by Sammy's reaction above to that expedition, it is a good thing. He must have inherited his mother's aversion to the white stuff. Instead, most weeks this winter there has been at least one day warm enough to go for a walk through the neighborhood.

We go in and out, running all kinds of errands without the hassle of clearing off the car or worrying about slippery roads. We can hang out on the back porch and watch Tedy wonder how to catch birds. We can check out our neighbor's backyard ice rink which has been nothing more than a swimming pool this season. Forever resourceful, they were out there in their canoe with the lights on the other night, making the most of what nature has given us.

As the warmer weather arrives for good, my walks with Sammy will become more frequent and longer. As his alertness improves and his motor skills develop, we'll be able to explore outside and I'll smile at all of the firsts he discovers from the miracles all around us. While I would still prefer to sleep in and watch the wonders of the world from the comfort of my couch via the National Geographic channel, I am doing my best to make sure my little boy grows up to prefer going outside every day to find those miracles waiting for him. If nothing else, it will give me time to take a nap.

ON BLOGGING ~ What Your Bloggy Friends Are Saying...

2012-02-16T20:03:00.000-05:00

What have I been doing for the past week, leaving you postless here? I've been fighting off various illnesses, trying to find ways to entertain a six month old, working part-time, trying to find more writing work and squeezing in some blog-hopping. After all, that is far more satisfying than a clean house. In the event that any of you have been strapped for time as well and haven't had a chance to get out there and visit your fellow bloggers, I thought I would share some of their posts with you to let you know what you've been missing.

Stacy @ Stacy's Bookblog is looking for tips on how to get a toddler to eat. As a picky eater myself, my mother had to hide important food groups in my applesauce or drown it in ketchup. Maybe you have other suggestions for Stacy?

Kathleen @ Boarding In My Forties is co-hosting the Stephen King Project which is a reading & review challenge with book and cash prizes throughout the year. Kathleen was also kind enough to compile a list of the King of Horror's non-scary works for the fraidy cats out there.

Janet @ Fond of Snape is sharing a list of foods and spices that fight cancer. And she should know. She's a survivor. We should all include these things in our diet to keep that vicious disease away.

Lynn @ Queen of the Castle Recipes is explaining what she thinks you should do with cognac, and has a nifty idea for turning an orange into a vessel.

Little Ms. Blogger @ A Little Blog About Nothing is taking us on a Dinner Project. She is meal planning, smart shopping, LOOPing, and rewarding us with a giveaway of the book inspiring her efforts.

Sheila @ ashramblings is reviewing her visit to the David Hockney Royal Academy exhibit in London. These cubist styled landscape collages look wickedly fun - and the dude even uses an iPad to sketch out his more recent work.

The Gal Herself @ One Gal's Musings is reminding us why this country is awesome. She always finds a way to capture my thoughts exactly - in far fewer words.

Cindy @ Cindy's Love of Books is passes along a funny video you bookies will get a chuckle out of. Starring some folks you might even know.

Joy @ Joy's Book Blog is sharing a link to a grad student's bookish survey for her thesis. If I knew I could write a thesis on bookish behavior, I might have gone back to college for more!

Vanita @ After Bedtime Blog is sharing an introductory tutorial on the ins and outs of the Google Plus social networking platform. I just set up a profile there within the month. Add me to your circles if you'd like!

I could go on and on, sharing the variety of things you are all posting about. It is why my Feedly reader is always overflowing. But I really should get some laundry done. Unless you've got a cool post I should know about - do tell!!!

ON SPORTS ~ At Least I'm Not A Bills Fan...

2012-02-07T22:24:00.001-05:00

Image courtesy Where The Fairy Tale Begins

"All that truly matters in the end is that you loved."

~ LESSON #43

Is it better to have loved and lost or never to have loved at all? Hmmm. I have always felt that as heartbreaking as it is to lose, the joy before the loss does make it worthwhile. It would be safe to not feel pain, but it would be a very vacuous emotional world that way, with no highs either. It would be kind of like being a Jacksonville Jaguars fan. Stuck in mediocrity. No Super Bowl championships to celebrate. No Super Bowl losses to stew about. They have had a few blips of success on the radar but for the most part, they are middle of the road. What is there to love about that? Who loves them? Do they have a fan base to love back?

Then again, they are only 17 years old. Just a teenager. Teens don't know what love is. Not to say that they don't fall in love. Just to say that they don't know love from lust in the moment. So the Jaguars have time to be loved. They will grow and learn and have some luck along the way. They will have adoring fans and they will love those fans right back, when they have a rally or parade some day. And although it was nice and safe to just collect money and not suffer agonizing defeats by being mediocre, they will find that the euphoria of reaching the pinnacle, in hindsight, outweighs the pain of falling off the top into a deep, dark crevice.

At least that is what I keep telling myself this week. The road to the Super Bowl as a Patriots fan this season was joyful. Stressful, but joyful. Oh so happy, all those Sundays - and Saturdays - and Mondays - and Thursdays (does the NFL really need to have games every day of the week?) watching them pull out a victory and vanquish a rival. Loving the organization and feeling protective of them as they went out to the big game. And then watching them lose in jaw dropping fashion to the New York Giants who beat them so shockingly four years ago in practically the EXACT SAME WAY. Watching your favorite player drop the key catch. Feeling the glory days slipping away. The blinders coming off to expose your beloved team's flaws. Having that love tarnished and pummeled and punted right out of the stadium.

Ugh. It sucks to have loved and lost. But it is still better than never having loved at all. I'd rather the Patriots get there and lose the Super Bowl than turn into the Jaguars who never get there at all. But I'm glad I'm not a Bills fan. They went to the Super Bowl four straight years and lost every time. That's not love. That's desperation.

ON BOOKS ~ Quirky Giveaway...

2012-01-31T16:01:00.000-05:00

Just a quick FYI that over on the group book blog, Quirky Girls Read, that I contribute to, we are celebrating our one year blogoversary this week. There are five different giveaways for books that you can enter - my own giveaway can be found HERE.

If you have not visited the Quirky Girls before, or haven't stopped by in a while, come on over and see what you've been missing. And if you visit often, you already know that we rock ;0)

ON SPORTS ~ Don't Hate Me Because I'm A Pats Fan...

2012-01-28T20:32:00.000-05:00

I grew up rooting for the underdog. At least I wanted to. Is it my fault that all along the way, the teams I felt bad for ended up growing into champions? What do you do when your lovable loser transforms into the hated favorite?

You enjoy every second of it, that's what. Success is incredibly difficult to find in professional sports. It is nearly impossible to string together a dynasty. Winning breeds jealousy. When the Patriots won their first Super Bowl against the heavily favored St. Louis Rams in February, 2002 they were America's sweetheart. Patriotism after the 9/11 attacks in the form of the little football team that could. Everywhere we went (except for St. Louis, Pittsburgh and Oakland) we got smiles and pats on the back at the glimpse of the Patriot logo we sported.

When they won their second Super Bowl against the Carolina Panthers in 2004, they were favored but still a team that most of the country admired and applauded. They weren't just lucky or a fluke, they were a force to be respected.

When they won their third Super Bowl against the Philadelphia Eagles in 2005, they were favored again and this time they started to become annoying. The haters came out around every turn. The Patriots were cheaters. Their pretty boy Quarterback, Tom Brady, had gone from a sweet innocent kid to someone who dumped his knocked up girlfriend in favor of a Super Model. Their coach, Bill Belichick, had no personality. They were big meanies, that's what they were. And their fans were spoiled rotten.

It isn't my fault that the Jets stink. Or the Dolphins. Or the Bills. Maybe if they didn't, the Patriots wouldn't win the division and go to the playoffs most every year. I started rooting for the Patriots when they stunk. Bad. Their ownership was a rotating joke. So were their coaches. And worst of all, so was their stadium. We sat on metal benches. Just like a high school team. To watch them lose. All the time.

So I know that some day in the future the Patriots will stink again. Tom Brady will grow old. Bill Belichick will lose his mojo. The sparkly modern comfy stadium their championships ushered in will be half full for a team that loses more than they win. And I will be miserable again.

So yes. I revel in every victory while they happen. I know how lucky I am to have a team I love be the best in the league with consistency. And I find it maddening when they don't win the Super Bowl every year. That's the level of expectation that such success builds. The bigger you are, the harder you fall. So if the Patriots don't win the Super Bowl against the New York Giants this year, I will be wicked pissed.

I grew up a Giants fan. I still root for them when they aren't playing the Patriots. Many folks do in New England. When the Patriots were terrible, their games weren't televised. The region watched Giants games instead. In the 2008 Super Bowl, the Patriots and Giants duked it out. The Patriots were just one drive away from winning it all and going undefeated for the entire season. That's never been done before. But the Giants, the underdogs, pulled victory away from the Patriots and shocked the world - much like those original Patriots did to the Rams back in 2002. It broke my heart.

I'm a Patriots fan. I want my team to get revenge from four years ago. And I don't care if the rest of the world is rooting against me, thinks I'm spoiled and lucky. But just be careful what you wish for. If the Cinderella Giants win again, they are poised to become the league's next great team. And not long after that, the sporting world will become annoyed with those guys next.

ON FUN ~ Child's Play...

2012-01-23T15:07:00.000-05:00

"Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable."

~ LESSON #37

I will work very hard to remember this lesson as baby Sammy grows into a little boy. Too often today I think society works against this lesson. Kids always want to be bigger or older than they are. They want to tag along with the big kids, not need a booster seat, do things themselves and do them long before they are really ready. Adults need to make sure kids get to be kids. That they learn to play pick-up sports instead of just constantly dragging them around on organized travel teams. They need to be free to run through neighbors' yards playing hide and seek with friends instead of trapped in their fenced-in property for fear of stranger danger. They need to be encouraged to make decisions about choices that are appropriate for kids. They don't need to be pushed into a ton of structured activities, dressed like slutty teen stars and forced to practice, study and work instead of playing, laughing and living.

Kids should do their homework, their chores and be involved with team or group activities. But not all the time. That's the part that grown-ups get sucked into. I am thankful that in our neighborhood there are wonderful parents that we can model our own parenting after. Their kids create games of their own to play outside, they aren't allowed tech gadgets or video games before a certain age, they take summers off from sports to spend time together as a family, taking road trips, exploring nature or just helping out with the yard work.

These kids that we have watched grow up around us are polite, helpful and happy. They are smart, kind and funny. And of course they get grounded, fight with their siblings, pitch fits and sulk. They are kids. And that is part of growing up. They have plenty of time to get there. In the meantime they get to play and experience the childhood they will remember fondly when they are old and weary, wishing they had time to be a kid again.