The Brash Lion Roars

Okay, ending this blog... NOW!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 27 May 2009 21:55:00 +0000

People, I'm a new animal!! Animal-lady. Erm. I'm blogging again.

OVER HERE!!!

MERMAID TWANG.

Cuz I'm a mermaid. Who plays banjo. N stuff.

No seriously, though, TBLR will be off the 'nets in a week or so, so head on over. Also, I'm Twittering too in case MT doesn't move fast enough for you.

P.S.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 17:01:00 +0000

New CourtneyMcLean.com coming soon.

I love you!

:)

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 16:01:00 +0000

Yesterday, I was talking with a friend who has been doing a podcast for a few years. I remember when he started it and what a challenge it was going to be (he started with a daily routine). Now that he's done it and it seems like it has probably answered some personal questions for him, he feels it must be put to sleep. I feel it.

I mentioned this earlier: I've been thinking about ending this blog for a little while and seriously thinking about it since coming back from New York. And I feel ready now.

It's been a little over 5 years and though I enjoy expressing myself in this medium, I think I just now realized that the other mediums through which I also enjoy expressing myself are suffering. I haven't painted in just over 5 years. My illustrating has fallen by the wayside. Even dancing by myself in my apartment has waned.

My medium of expressing myself has always been visual, whether via myself on stage or in a tangible, "permanent" form. I don't know if the written word can be counted as visual. I won't stop writing, of course not! But I feel like the blog has stolen a fraction of my creative energy and I don't mean like 1/268th, I mean like 1/5 or 1/4. It's a large fraction. And it grows the more or less I write in my blog. It's a no-win situation! The more I write in the blog, obviously, the less energy I'm devoting to writing other things. But... I am writing, so? But I really need to expand my writing beyond me. All my writing is about me. And it's wearing me out. I can't imagine what it's done to you, dear reader.

The less I write in the blog, the more I feel guilty about it; like I'm not giving my audience what they're craving. Really, Court? I mean, is that the most narcissistic thing you've ever heard or what? Hence, my energy is bled dry by either guilt or beating myself up over having a sense of importance.

And it bears mentioning that even though TBLR has become less personal in the past year or so (which may have marked the start of the decline in my interest), it is exhausting keeping up with this. I don't really know how others do it and I know I can't and don't want to do it anymore. I don't know how to expand within this medium. I feel like I'm just channeling my energy into this lighted box in front of me and not into the world. On stage, that channeling is tangible; you can't see it, but you can sure as fuck feel it. That is human energy meshing and mingling - the exchange between audience and performer. Though, I have teared up or laughed out loud at other people's blog entries, so something must be sad for that, I suppose. I understand that the energy that pours into the lighted box comes back out somewhere. And I have little shame in admitting that I need gratification a tad more instantly.

Also - brevity is the soul of wit and I just simply do not have the wherewithal to not post my stream-of-consciousness bullshit here. I can edit a radio show or an Amazing Race submission video, but I need help with rewrites. Like I stated before, it's gotten boring to me. Who knows how long I've been out here all by myself, you know?

So, this is it. You probably have me as your Facebook friend, so you'll hear from me there. But it's time I take this train outside into the sun. Feel free to keep up on my Flickr - I'm just a couple of weeks into a 365 set, so you can at least see my world every day if you're so inclined.

Plus, I am really sick of being "The Brash Lion." OVER IT!

Thank you for reading.

Hope for Humanity - RESTORED!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 21:52:00 +0000

from Slashdot via an email from Brett:

TheDopp writes "The United Nations hosted the cast and crew of Battlestar Galactica Tuesday evening in New York. Clips of the show were shown as discussion points during the event, touching on the morality of Suicide Bombers in war, Abortion and the use of torture on enemies of the state. At one point during the event an attendee mentions 'the "Old Man" launched into a passionate speech about casting off the idea of race as a cultural determinant, and said we were one race, the human race. His voice echoed throughout the chamber growing louder until — I kid you not — he was yelling, "So Say We All," and the crowd answered right back. Hell, even I yelled it, I was in the fraking United Nations with Adama, the gods themselves could not have stopped this moment.' The full video of the event is located on the UN website."

RAD. And... RAD!!! I don't have the ability to play the videos that are linked (go to Slashdot for that), but let me know how they are and hopefully they'll be on You Tube too - I'm just too lazy to look right now.

ADDENDUM: If I had just checked my next message in my inbox, I would have seen that OF COURSE Brett hooked me up with the video too... SO SAY WE ALL!!

A Zygote of a Joke

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 17:29:00 +0000

No this is not another post about my pro-choice Bowl-A-Thon.

My toaster has a "Pop-Tart" setting. There's no joke there yet, but that's some kind of punchline. Like, everything is truly connected and if you don't believe it, look how it's bled into our marketing. There's a reason the Ab Machine is advertised on your Pizza Hut box.

Remember when Morrissey asked "When will you accept yourself?"

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 20:44:00 +0000

I have been seeing these f*cking ads all over Facebook and blogs and it's driving me CRAZY. The secret to getting rid of cellulite?? A FLASH AND PHOTOSHOP.

Or you can just EAT BETTER and EXERCISE. It's such a fucking simple formula, people.

One of those things that you HAVE to check out, but then, you don't wanna know...

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 22:12:00 +0000

I just finished my period-- STAY WITH ME HERE! I just finished my period and yet, I still have a little pain in the right ovary area, like I'm ovulating, but it kinda hurts a little when I move certain ways.

Guh. Sometimes getting old blows.

Support Me As I Bowl For Choice

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 21:32:00 +0000

HEY!

The Pro-Choice Resources Bowl-A-Thon is just over a week away and I've only met half my fundraising goal! Luckily, it's not too high a goal, so I know that with your help, I can reach it. Please consider pitching in a few bucks (anything! $10! $5!) to help support an organization that is working on an extremely worthy cause. You can donate online here on my sponsorship page!

Why am I bowling for choice? Well, I do love bowling. And I love that Pro-Choice Resources is a grassroots organization helping to educate and provide services specifically in Minneapolis, MN. They don't receive federal funding or any kind of outside help from related institutions. Why am I pro-choice? Because it is proven time and time again that when you ban anything, the demand for it rises. I don't necessarily like the act of abortion, but I do believe in trusting women with the knowledge and ability to make their own decisions for themselves and their family. In our current social climate, there is not enough proper sexual education and advocacy to help achieve what I believe is the ultimate goal on both sides: to make abortion safe and RARE. It is important to me to help organizations such as PCR that are working towards making this a reality. Wouldn't it be a dream to live in a world where abortion was not a necessary reality? Unfortunately, when our youth don't know the first thing about their bodies and reproduction, whether or not abortion is legal, it happens. To me, it's not about making abortion illegal - that is going about it backwards. It is about supporting organizations that help to get the word to our youth about respecting themselves and their bodies, educating them about contraceptives, taking the shame out of natural sexual feelings and drives, and trusting them to make their own decisions.

I only have $105 more to go before I've reached my personal goal... if you've already donated - THANK YOU!!! If not, please consider doing so. Every little bit helps.

Thank you!

Time for some dancing in the privacy of my own living room.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 14 Mar 2009 13:50:00 +0000

A friend reminded me of this song today...

I Am... A Channel. Tune In.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 19:23:00 +0000

I have found myself starting blog posts and getting lost in what the heck my point was supposed to be and then not finishing them. Maybe also because a lot of the time, I'm writing this at work when I should be working or I am working and I get distracted by what I'm actually getting paid for. This small detail aside, I have thought several times in the past few months about shutting this blog down. I actually had a externally-tearful internal battle about it a little less than a month ago: staring down the behind-the-scenes interface like an ex-lover with whom I had a fat fucking dinosaur femur to pick. But here we are, still, and I'm still unsure I'm ready to deprive my three readers deeper insights into my psyche than my inevitable changeover to Twitter would provide. (By the way, I was on Twitter before all y'all - early 2007 when my friend Al introduced me to it. And then I deleted my account last summer, then re-joined as brashlionroars. And I've updated exactly 30 times in like 4 months. Over it.)

As per usual, I'm experiencing a lil' bit of an existential non-crisis and coming to love myself for the unfocused renaissance woman I am. Instead of beating myself with the question, "Why aren't you famous yet?" or "Why aren't you making money as a performer?", etc, etc, etc, I'm quieting down and enjoying each day as it comes. In reading the latest New Yorker, in an article about the late David Foster Wallace, the sentence about his perception that people with lower intelligence are happier, having the attitude of "one day at a time," jumped out at me. Because this is the attitude that I have been cultivating within the past few years: day by day, moment by moment. There is no future, there is no past. It is only right now. We are all waiting for Godot.

Now, I'm not as smart as some people and I'm a lot smarter than a lot more people, but I'm not going to debate the stupidity of someone that decides to relinquish a great deal of control and settle upon the fact that, hey, the past is gone. I did it, it's done, and all I can do is learn from my mistakes. And maybe I'll make the same mistakes over again. But one day - I'll get it right. And as for the future, it is unwritten. What I am living is the NOW and that is the only place wherein I can institute change.

That said, and since it's taken me over two hours to write this freakin' post (see beginning of post), I don't know how this will correlate, but I have been thinking and re-thinking a lot about what my destiny in life is. I have, for as long as I can remember, wanted to perform. I am good - no - fabulous at it. I have been blessed with a captivating stage presence. I don't think this is bragging; I have been told this by many, many people. And no one has ever had the balls to tell me I sucked, so either I surround myself with gutless scaredy-cats or I just don't suck. Even when "Super Glossy!" was lightly panned as an uninteresting script, each reviewer commented on my ability to sell it through a stunning performance.

I have tried many different paths to the stage, there has been something about every single path that hasn't totally clicked for me. I don't like the auditioning part of acting (and to be fair, I have never fully given it a shot; there is just so much fear around it for me that I have successfully talked myself into hating it), I don't like the memorization of good story-telling, and I don't like the pressure of coming up with new material that stand-up comedy demands (among many other things I hate about stand-up). However, with the radio show this weekend, something... just... clicked.

Now, I understand, I am a total amateur. And this makes me think of when my grandfather commended a youthful teen-aged me on my ability to move on to something new when something current wasn't working for me. I interpreted this to mean (I don't think my grandfather intended it like this) that I never let things ripen. I get discouraged and because I am lucky enough to have the talent to do a lot of different things, I just keep moving to the next thing that I think will hold me. The incoming of accolades and encouragement I have received from Sunday night's show (again, no one has had the balls to tell me I sucked, but would it matter anyway? I'm freaking high from what I believe I can do now) have me thinking that the life I've been meant to live is now right in front of me, if not shrouded by inexperience and the uncertainty of How.

I took the Myers' Briggs personality test a couple of weeks ago and discovered I am an ENFP. Now, one might take this to be a fancier kind of Zodiac, but it was all the sign I needed - I am the Inspirer. Ever since Mr. Moore's sociology class in high school when I drew what I wanted engraved on my tombstone, and I paraphrase, "An Influential Voice For All," I have known that I want to touch the hearts and minds of everyone I meet. Doing the show on Sunday rekindled my joy for listening to other people's endeavors and knowing that the world is a better place with their puzzle piece in it. And it made me realize that I just want to talk to people about how they're living their dreams and I want to do it in a public forum so that everyone can hear how simple it truly is. You just have to tune in, past all the stimuli we're inundated with; listen to your soul and jump.

So here I go. I discovered this past week (here's Providence working for you - BTW, my belief in a "higher power," has unexpectedly taken a handle on me... weird. 13-year-old Courtney would have not talked to me) that I have a couple of unrelated connections to the same local radio station. I have connections from the radio station I used to work at in San Diego. All of these people believe in my ability to do this. I believe in my ability to do this because it's just there. And - I get to do everything I'm good at: use my stage presence (which of course will be all vocal, but that's there), be funny off-the-cuff, talk to others, and inspire others. And go to work in a T-shirt and jeans.

This might be my new-fangled crazy idea, but I'm ready to go for it. Who's with me??

Stay tuned.

FailBlog Fails

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 19:10:00 +0000

Y'know, I usually think FailBlog is right on.

But I find this a wee bit offensive:

Because it's labeled as a Win. Cripes, people, this is a FAIL. HELLO? Stop tryin' to send us back a few decades. Jeebus.

Neato.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 18:57:00 +0000

Originally uploaded by brianchapman

I'm looking for cool desktops within Flickr's "Last 7 Days Interesting" tab. I've found quite a few. Some awesome photographers out there.

Nellie McKay feckin' rules

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 17:50:00 +0000

I would like to claim Nellie McKay right now. I've been a fan for over five years... her first album is definitely one of my soundtracks from my New York City days. Here she is performing a couple of songs I've not heard (but I never got into her second album - just a lack of immediate catch, methinks; I'll be checking it out again pronto - and apparently she has a third too! I'm so behind on music):

What a classy broad. I just think she is timeless. And she's only, like, 25 years old. She was 18 or 19 when her first album came out. Just lookit that smirk on her face.

I Love New York...

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 19:26:00 +0000

I Love New York...
Originally uploaded by Jonathan Harford

The Mother of All Funk Chords

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 19:05:00 +0000

I found this on a blog I admittedly don't read as much as I probably should:

From 43 Folders: Unsolicited tip for media company c-levels: if your reaction to this crate of magic is “Hm. I wonder how we’d go about suing someone who ‘did this’ with our IP?” instead of, “Holy crap, clearly, this is the freaking future of entertainment,” it’s probably time to put some ramen on your Visa and start making stuff up for your LinkedIn page.

Because, this is what your new Elvis looks like, gang. And, eventually somebody will figure out (and publicly admit) that Kutiman, and any number of his peers on the “To-Sue” list, should be passed from Legal down to A&R.

Mash-ups have been around for years, but yeah, I think this is right. I mean, it sounds amazing, right? And perhaps there's a way for artists to make their single tracks and sell them off to a masher? Have you ever heard the Kleptones? Awesome.

Thanks for allowing me to have incomplete thoughts, blog. Sometimes I can't put things into words.

The Freakin' Cool Women Society Show!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 19:09:00 +0000

On Sunday, March 8, I hosted the Freakin' Cool Women Society Show! on KFAI here in the Twitties. Don't know if I told you about that. The archive should be up by the end of today, I'm hoping, but at any rate, I will be posting it as a podcast at a yet-to-be-determined link.

It was a magical evening. Everyone was amazing - the edit I did of Ellie & Lauren was, IMHO, awesome! (BTW - I think, if I had a dollar for every time I said "awesome" on the show, I would have like $25). Like Adrienne and Trixi pointed out, the energy in the room was so electric and inspiring. Everyone left with a big smile (and a few mouthfuls of Pizza Luce: thank you so MUCH, KFAI!) and some of my guests even left as new friends. How absolutely amazing. I have tears in my eyes right now. It was one of the best evenings of my recent life, for sure.

My guests were:
Ellie Hino & Lauren Anderson from the Brave New Workshop,

Dana Buchwald, curator of Women Stand-Up, a Comedy Cabaret, at the Bryant Lake Bowl:

Molly Priesmeyer, editor of Live Green Twin Cities.com:

Roxanne Johnson, advocate of science for urban communities and children:

Trixi Bogusz-Greger, former personal assistant to Diablo Cody and our expert on the status of women in Hollywood:

Anh Pham, activist with the Anti-War Committee:

and Adrienne Nightingale, musician activist and founder of CEETA:

And here's Engineer Sarah who was so freakin' cool and so freakin' helpful throughout the entire process:

And all our pictures were taken by the fabulous Marne Gerdes:

And, to be fair, here's me:

And here's all the pictures!

A heartfelt THANK YOU goes out to these ladies and all of you that listened, or will be listening.

Minnesota - it's not the winter you should be frightened of.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 17:27:00 +0000

This doesn't even encapsulate the horror that is this woman. How HOW HOW??? did we put her in office AGAIN?

"Freakin' Cool Women Society Show!" pre-recording session (and my 900th post!)

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 20:23:00 +0000

Whoa. 900 posts. Well then.

Yesterday, Ellie Hino, Lauren Anderson, and I got together to record their bit for Sunday's show, since they won't be around to do it live. It went off amazingly; we were hilarious and cracking up the engineer, Sarah. I think I could riff, or at least listen to them riff, all day with Lauren & Ellie.

So, I got the recording home and the sound was all crackly!! WTF?? Got the word from Sarah that the files were corrupted and she felt horrible about it. So, we're going to get together again tomorrow morning to try again. Here's Ellie bein' all, what?

Isn't she adorable?

The KFAI show info is here!

Supreme Court to Hear Oral Arguments in Prop. 8 Cases on March 5, 2009

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 19:40:00 +0000

From the News Release:

San Francisco—The California Supreme Court today announced that it will hear oral arguments on Thursday, March 5, 2009, from 9:00 a.m. to 12:00 p.m., in three cases challenging the constitutionality of Proposition 8, a statewide ballot initiative that was passed by a majority of California voters in November 2008. (Strauss v. Horton, S168047; Tyler v. State of California, S168066; City and County of San Francisco v. Horton, S168078).

The oral argument session will be held in the Supreme Court’s Courtroom, Earl Warren Center, Fourth Floor, 350 McAllister Street, San Francisco, as part of the court’s regular monthly calendar session in March 2009. The complete March 2009 oral argument calendar is available at http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/courts/supreme/#cal .

In the cases before the court, the court has issued an order listing the following three issues to be briefed and argued:
(1) Is Proposition 8 invalid because it constitutes a revision of, rather than an amendment to, the California Constitution?
(2) Does Proposition 8 violate the separation of powers doctrine under the California Constitution?
(3) If Proposition 8 is not unconstitutional, what is its effect, if any, on the marriages of same-sex couples performed before the adoption of Proposition 8?

If you're not in California, you can watch what will surely be an exciting broadcast on The Cal Channel! 9am Pacific Time!

Improvisers Love Change

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 22:43:00 +0000

I just discovered BNW owner John Sweeney's blog today. Awesome!

Um, weren't you just in New York?

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 20:52:00 +0000

Yes. Yes, I was. Like 2 1/2 weeks ago: Feb. 13 - 18. And no blog entries about it. What the feck is my deal? Not blogging about New York City? About the crazy time I had in New York City? Well, I came back from New York City to Minnesota and just about sank into one of the deepest pitholes of depression I had experienced in a year. And a sad email to Brett explained it all: Post-BackStock Depression.

Yes, I went back to NYC because the Jacksons came into town and like Courtstock and Jackstock before it, we had another multi-day celebration: BackStock. Brett seriously gives one of the best homages here on Meet The Jacksons. Yvonne recounted the amazing weekend on Everyday Ham.

It was a wonderful weekend, but I'm going to let the pictures do the talking. I've been a lot less talkative lately. What, you couldn't tell?

A collective of BackStock pics, for a limited time, are available here (and here is my full set of my trip - not all "BackStock," per se):

Photo by Yvonne. Our boys. Well, their boys, but... MY BOYS TOO.

Blogging you first. Photo by Brett.

Brett is scary.

Adam with his movie and coffee. I got to see Adam's movie twice. It is really wonderful.

I am laughing so hard at something that just happened, but I don't remember what it is.

At the Backstock party, with Jenny, Deborah, and Aprill.

And, not within the Backstock frame, but yes, in NYC... I saw Carly (here with Donna):

Miss you guys like crazy.

According to my calculations...

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 20:20:00 +0000

I am just under 9 months out from paying off my credit card debt. NINE MONTHS. I am so requesting a higher payment be taken from my account now. I don't care if I eat Ramen for 6 months because I can't afford groceries.

3/4/09 - this just in. I am indeed NINE MONTHS away from paying off my credit card debt. I am so freakin' happy about this, I can't even tell you. I will actually be able to afford to purchase Christmas gifts this year. I also have upped my weekly payment to a grand total of $600 a month. This is why I can't afford to buy myself a beer, people. But come 2010 - I'll be buyin' YOU a beer. Like, every time.

Maybe for my birthday next year, I'll throw a huge party where I pay for everyone's drinks. I'll be 33, like Jesus, so that's also cause for celebration. Hmmm... open bar at Bedlam for a few hours maybe?

And all of a sudden, I really miss my Lisa Frank sticker collection.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 18:25:00 +0000

Right out of my childhood... a pink dolphin.

FCW Society Show! Lil' Bit O': Lauren Anderson

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 17:41:00 +0000

So, I'm doing research for my show on KFAI next week (yes, I have only left myself a week to prepare this show. I'm sure I'll be fine! I have improvisation skills!) and in a google search for comedian Lauren Anderson, a contemporary of mine and company member of Brave New Workshop, I found this awesome article about her performance at the Ivey Awards in 2007. Watch the video! I adore Lauren - she's obviously extremely talented and hilarious and she's such a good soul, too. Freakin' Cool.

So, now I've decided to do posts on some of the women I'm interviewing (it depends on the goods I can find about ya online, ladies). Okay, not interviewing - I'm no journalist - having a conversation with. I'm not going to give everything away, so it's just going to be called "Lil' Bit O'(FCW's Name Here)"

Photo from Star Tribune.

Listen.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 22:18:00 +0000

I'm hosting the Freakin' Cool Women Society Show as part of KFAI's International Women's Day Celebration. March 8 @ 8pm - 90.3FM in Minneapolis and 106.7FM in St. Paul.

Not in the Twin Cities Area? Listen ONLINE!!!