The Bingham Diaries

The truth about Valentine’s

noreply@blogger.com (Caroline) — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 01:37:00 +0000

I would like to talk about my annoyance at over-achieving holiday craft moms, particularly when it comes to Valentine’s Day.

You see, YOU are making super cute Valentines for “your kid.” And I have to put “your kid” in parentheses because I don’t really think that you’re making these for your kid, as much as you’re making it to put on your blog… you’d be surprised at the things people do with their kids for the sake of a blog post. (We can talk about THAT later.)

But when I see you making overly cute Valentine’s, I assume that you:

only have one kid AND
that, that kid is in a small-ish class AND
that your Valentine budget is much higher than mine.

You see, for MY children, I am willing to spend no more than $10 on ALL of their Valentines…. COMBINED. And really, I’m more comfortable in the $5 range, which is easily accomplished by going to the dollar store and saying, “Pick a box.”

And you see, THAT is how I am being KIND and THOUGHTFUL because if I wanted, I could go to the store myself and pick out really embarrassing Valentine’s for people to pass out, which I may have done in the past, because that is my right as a parent.

However, this year, I’m even going one step further, and letting my kids design their own Valentines. These, we will print out, 6 to a page, and then, my kids will cut them out themselves…. because I’m a giver, and also realistic.

All that aside, the number one reason I think it’s stupid to make fancy Valentines is because they get thrown IN THE GARBAGE.

You are spending time and money on something that other moms are not going to let your kids keep. There is going to be a class party, that might last 30 minutes, and then your sugar-riddled child will come home and the Valentines will be tossed that day.

It’s a harsh reality, I know, and yet, I feel like we need to discuss it.

I mean, you might as well just take the cash out of your wallet, and burn it, because IT’S THE SAME THING.

So while you are staying up late, cutting and gluing and assembling your fancy schmancy Valentine’s, just remember, that they are going to get thrown in the trash. And one more thing: YOUR child? Is going to love the generic, store-bought Valentine character card that we give ‘em.

How to manage your pain

noreply@blogger.com (Caroline) — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 17:11:00 +0000

Someone asked me a question about pain management and if I had any advice for them. I said, yes, yes, I did.

1. Don’t get sick

2. Take lots of pills

3. Have lots of naps.

I don’t think it’s quite the answer they were looking for… oh well.

New Year, New Me

noreply@blogger.com (Caroline) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 15:25:00 +0000

I have to put myself back on a schedule. And it’s obnoxious, and I am not looking forward to it. I mean, sure, I have a loose schedule. Wake up, get the kids off to school and all that, but *I* *PERSONALLY* need to have a firm schedule, with naps. LIKE I’M A BABY.

That’s why it’s obnoxious.

Lately, I have been going to bed at 10, and getting up about 7. Except that I can barely get out of bed and it’s a few more hours before I am functioning. And by functioning, I full on mean able to do anything, like shower, or run an errand.

So starting tonight, I’m going to bed at nine. NINE! Do you know how weird that sounds to me? Me, the zombie insomniac who would sleep for a few hours every couple of days? It’s like I’m learning to be a whole new person, and it’s dumb. AND my house is now a disaster. And I have to tell you, if the trade off to more sleep is a dirty house, I don’t like it. I don’t like it one bit.

This little piggy…

noreply@blogger.com (Caroline) — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 00:13:00 +0000

I found this when I was cleaning up my hard drive. It’s nice to find gems like this.

Budgeting

noreply@blogger.com (Caroline) — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 01:47:00 +0000

I always think it’s interesting to hear how people budget their money, because different people have different priorities.

For example: today I did errands.

And I had X amount of money to spend, and that is our groceries/gas/everything money for the week. I guess, it’s more of my run the household money, than my grocery money, since I use it for more than just food. ANYHOW.

I knew that I had X amount of money for the week. I also knew that I would pass a thrift store, and I would go in and look, because sometimes I find good stuff in there, and sometimes I don’t.

And TODAY, I found good stuff. Actually, it was perfect. You see, I decorate things over TIME, and my style, is country cottage quirky with a touch of minimalist modern. I know, it sounds weird, but I promise, it’s kinda cute. And when it comes to getting stuff for my house, I’m of the mind that you should only get stuff you absolutely love, can’t live without, and it will all come together eventually.

At any rate, the wall at the top of my stairs and me have been working on a weird collection of pictures and things that I love, and I had this one empty spot that was long and narrow, next to our machete (yes really), and I knew that I would find something eventually that would fit, but I didn’t really know what that something WAS.

But I found a mirror that was exactly the right size.

And I also got some bookends. I couldn’t help it. IT WAS AN AMPERSAND.

And there was a set of 3 white solid wood shelves for $4.00 FOUR DOLLARS PEOPLE.

And there was a brand new dress, tags still on, that was exactly Taylor’s size, and it had STRIPES, which is an extra bonus, because did I tell you that Taylor only wants to wear STRIPES and RUFFLES these days? And if she doesn’t have those things, then she walks around the house in her underwear. And sometimes, I turn the heater way down and then she tells me “I’m cold” and I tell her “put on some pants” and it’s a parenting roller coaster that never, ever ends.

ANYWAYS.

I spent some of my “grocery money” and I adjusted my shopping list accordingly.

But I know that some people wouldn’t even stop unless they are specifically looking for something and going to a certain place to get that. And if I’m shopping for clothes for myself, then yes, totally need a game plan, and set budget, and all that jazz.

But, you know, I got home and hung up my new/old stuff, and I just looked over at that wall, and it makes me smile.

Awesome

noreply@blogger.com (Caroline) — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 01:48:00 +0000

Awesome: The moment you feel your drugs kick in.
Not awesome: having blurry vision be a side effect.. (it will pass. I should probably stop typing since I can’t see the screen clearly.) I think this is why people use glasses, not that they would help, because I did it to myself on purpose. In my defense, I need to sleep more.
Last thing of the night: I am working on an article for a magazine, and I would like to hear what technologies you use every day. And by technology, I mean apps, and etc., not hair dryers. Because while yes, that has some technology, it’s more of an appliance. And I don’t want to talk about appliances, unless it’s about how you’re going to give me new ones, and do you think the Electrolux really boils water in 90 seconds? I wonder about that sometimes when I’m making pasta.
BACK TO TOPIC; email me you favorite, most helpful technologies. Here is my email: caroline@thebinghamdiaries.com
(I really like my email address except for when I’m filling out forms, and they only give you an inch to write your email. Everybody I know has a relatively long email address, so I think that form makers and designers should be more considerate. I mean, REALLY people.)

Bath time

noreply@blogger.com (Caroline) — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 00:47:00 +0000

Currently, my four year old is singing a song called, “Nobody be’d my friend today… Nobody be’d my friend.”

Those are all the words, and she’s decided that nobody be’d her friend because I told her to get in the shower.

And then she didn’t.

So then I said, “Get. In. The. Shower.”

And she was all (runs and hides in the closet)

And then I was all “GET in the SHOWER”

And she turned on the water, and that’s all. She just turned it on, AND STARED AT IT.

So THEN I yanked her dirty clothes off her body and put her in the shower myself.

So she stood in the absolute furthest corner of the shower so that she wouldn’t get wet.

So then I took the shower hose and put THAT right over her head, and then while she was crying and complaining about the horror of it all, I just kept moving the shower hose in time with her full body tantrum spasms.

And right now, people with children are laughing and nodding and maybe just experienced something similar.

Of course, not ALL the people with children are laughing. Because, you know, SOME parents would want to TALK about WHY you don’t want to have a shower, and is it scary? Was it blah-dee-dah-bull-crap? And to those parents I say, ah-ha. Ah-ha. Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Talk is cheap, and your kid smells funny.

Let's talk about how much I hate coming up with post titles... and other stuff.

noreply@blogger.com (Caroline) — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 00:48:00 +0000

I accidentally stopped adding labels to my blog posts. And by accidentally, I mean that I consciously stopped adding them because I was all "What is the point?" except that NOW, I WANT them there, for no other reason then I feel like I want labels on my blog posts on Tuesday night. IT'S JUST WHAT I WANT.

We have three cars now. And only two drivers. It's a teensy bit obnoxious. BASICALLY, our jeep broke, and it's getting fixed by a mechanic friend, and in the mean time, instead of sharing one car, DadGuy got another one on the cheap, and THEN when the jeep is fixed, he's going to put both of the cars up for sale, and then we'll just WAIT AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS.

Personally, as much as I like the jeep, I do like having a car that has seatbelts for all the children. It brings peace to my paranoid mom heart.

My kids started piano lessons last week, and I'm pretty sure that they haven't practiced. This is because our Xbox also came back from being fixed, and we finally are getting to try out the new games that we got on Christmas. Do you know what is awesome? Getting video games for Christmas and NOT HAVING A VIDEO GAME CONSOLE.

I also now have an exercise bike in my house. It's sorta a big deal, because remember how my leg goes numb when I walk or use it? WELL. If my leg goes numb while I'm riding a bike IN MY HOME, it's all good, because A) I won't fall off and B) I'm already home. Can you imagine me on a real bike, riding around a real neighborhood and then having my leg go completely numb? It's not like when your foot is asleep and it's obnoxious but you can control it someone. My WHOLE LEG turns to rubber and starts flailing around like an octopus. Or, at least what I imagine an octopus would look like. I'm basing most of this opinion on the scene in Pirates of the Carribean with THE KRAKEN.

Meanwhile, the thing I hate most in the world of personal blogging is trying to come up with post titles. I mean, I could put the date, but THEN the date would be there TWICE. And I don't always want to use the date, because sometimes, on occasion, I actually do have a funny/witty title, and the regular date header is nice to have. But I don't want to have a double date. NO DOUBLE DATING. Unless, of course, you're talking about dating in an entirely different context, and then a whole new set of parameters comes up and you know, THAT.

Wild Tangents

noreply@blogger.com (Caroline) — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 19:24:00 +0000

It’s snowing for the first time this winter. It’s pretty exciting. And stinky that the older kids are at school where they probably are just watching through the windows, barely able to contain their excitement. Of course, being that we live where we live, school will probably be cancelled tomorrow. That’s how we roll in Northern Virginia.

IN OTHER NEWS.

Every Sunday, after church, we have Nacho’s. And while we’re eating our late lunch of deliciousness, I ask my kids what they learned at chuch. WITHOUT FAIL, Blayne will not remember, Daniel says Jesus Christ, and Taylor says Choose the Right, while Tad starts to sing whatever song they are learning. EVERY. TIME. So I have decided to start my Sunday School lessons into a family home evening lesson for my kids, because beyond knowing the name of Jesus Christ, it would be nice if my kids knew who He was a little more. You know, brainwashing the children and all that.

(And I believe that ALL children are brainwashed. All of them. Know why? Because kids know what they know, which is taught by who they live with, and they believe whatever you believe. Because they’re children, and that’s how life works. End rant.)

Do you enjoy my tangents or WHAT?

Do you know what else I am thinking about today? I am thinking about all of my friends who are English majors and teachers and what not, who read my blog and cringe at my absolute misuse of grammar. I always want to half heartedly apologize to you, but, because it’s insincere, what really is the point? I ACKNOWLEDGE MY MISTAKES. And really, that’s all we can ask of people these days.

December Pics

noreply@blogger.com (Caroline) — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 21:39:00 +0000

I finally got around to uploading the pictures from December. Which is always a BIG MONTH in our house, because it starts with birthdays and ends with Christmas, and this year we had a very special addition, because Thaddeus turned 8 and was baptized a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. SO. Enjoy the pictures, which are in no order whatsoever.

________________________________________________

Life's Little Mysteries

noreply@blogger.com (Caroline) — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 00:49:00 +0000

I stepped in a mysterious puddle today and my first thought was: Alright, who peed on the floor?
And then I thought: At what point in my life will I get to stop wondering if the mysterious puddles on the floor are man-made? WHEN?

Idle Hands

noreply@blogger.com (Caroline) — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 22:22:00 +0000

I like to have projects to work on. Smallish things that I can do a little bit here and there over time, because, well, you know that SOME TIMES, I can barely get out of bed, and laying on the couch makes me feel useless. BUT! If I am doing something with my hands while I watch hours upon hours of television, I feel okay about life.

So you get to have a peek at some of the things I’ve been working on. Firstly: Christmas stockings. They will be ready by next year. I still have 4 more stockings to bead. And as you can see, there is a lot of beading going on.

Also: I do not like these pictures, because they are much cuter in person. Trust me.

Also I have been working on printables because it’s just something that I love to do. And now that Christmas is over, it’s babies and birthdays and all sorts of fun stuff.

And these are some of the things I do to keep myself busy.

Plus, here is the latest Visiting Teaching Printable. You’re welcome.

Monday

noreply@blogger.com (Caroline) — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 01:25:00 +0000

The kids go back to school tomorrow and I mostly just have a huge sense of relief. Not that having them home is hard, it’s just so, so BUSY and LOUD and I am so, so grateful for teachers.

ALSO: I haven’t gotten out of my pajamas today.

ALSO also: I am going to be starting my “MS Diet”. And I’m going to tape a great big list of the things I should eat on the fridge because my brain doesn’t work really good lately, and I forget things unless they are staring at me in the face.

Other than that, I have no resolutions, because I am against them. I SCOFF AT YOUR COMFORMITY. And admire your resolve…. assuming you follow through.

Christmas BREAK

noreply@blogger.com (Caroline) — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 01:43:00 +0000

Christmas break is kicking my trash. Yeah, I said it. It’s been fun and fantastic, but I am exhausted… and I haven’t even done anything.

My Christmas gift this year was my parents visit (so nice) who also volunteered to help with a house project. So they did a bunch of things around my house that DadGuy hasn’t been able to get to, and that I haven’t been able to take care of myself. Like rehanging the curtains a foot higher, and moving the coat hooks to a different wall so that when you open my front door it’s not all “HEY BACKPACKS AND CHAOS!” It really is much better all around.

Plus, my mom made me absolutely GORGEOUS crocheted hot pads and she brought the matching dishcloths that my grandma knit. Things like that make me smile. Plus, she brought me the patterns for the Christmas stockings, and last night, I started beading. ALSO: dear sweet sisters that just made their own stockings, I changed the patterns. YES, YES I DID. And you will love it. So you’ll probably have to redo the ones you just did. Or not. But you’ll want to. They’re that gorgeous.

Want to know something else really funny that happened? Except that now it’s not really so much a “funny ha-ha” so much as a “funny SO SAD” because this is now the FIFTH TIME I have sprained my ankle in this house. I HAVE TO MOVE SOMEWHERE WITH LESS STAIRS. I swear, those damn stairs do something to the nerves in my legs, and then they go NUMB and then I fall down them… the stairs. And I do not fall gracefully, as evidenced by the scraped palms, torn quadriceps, and sprained ankle. At least I was wearing pants this time. And my parents and husband came to my rescue instead of my male neighbors. It’s the little things in life.

DON’T YOU WANT TO VISIT ME AND TAKE CARE OF MY FAMILY?

Christmas Eve

noreply@blogger.com (Caroline) — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 21:22:00 +0000

Christmas is tomorrow. Which means that tonight we're having Mexican food. WHICH IS DELICIOUS. We will also be driving around looking at all the Christmas lights. Because we do things like that.

We will also be opening one Christmas present, and it will be pajama's. Because that is also a tradition.

Also: my friend Serena brought me NINJA and ZOMBIE Gingerbread men. They're pretty much awesome. And so is she. HI-YAH.

And now I'm going to sit back down and continue to cut out felt snowflakes for stockings. Because that is also something that I am working on. (They'll be ready by next Christmas.)

Do you like how I just randomly end my blog posts now? I do.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Thoughts

noreply@blogger.com (Caroline) — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 04:36:00 +0000

I was going to write one thing, but then I decided not to, so we’re going to talk about the weather. It is supposed to rain tomorrow, and I am sorry, but it is December, and that rain should be snow. LOTS AND LOTS OF SNOW.

I am also going to have a wrapping marathon tomorrow. Because I will have some alone time, and I need to make the most of it.

Plus I’m also making new Christmas stockings, but they probably won’t be used until next year. Because that is how my life goes. Besides, we HAVE stockings, they’re just not like the ones I grew up with, and I loved those ones. It’s also helpful that they’re a little bit smaller, so they’re easier to fill up, which is why I hate giant stockings. I feel like the stockings should be full of goodies, overflowing even.

Speaking of stockings, this year, we have decided to forgo the trading of the names. Instead of having each child get another child a gift, we are all going to get stocking stuffers, so people can buy 6 small things…. like chapstick. My kids really like chapstick. And flashlights. Flashlights make GREAT stocking stuffers. Of course, we could end up with just about anything, because my kids are funny. Personally, I’m probably going to get everyone a box of Christmas band-aids, because kids love band-aids. And then, when they fall down, but aren’t bleeding, yet still need a band-aid, they can use their own, and MY band-aids, the GOOD band-aids, will be saved for actual bleeding.

THESE ARE THE THINGS THAT HAPPEN WHEN YOU’RE A MOM…. you buy band-aids as Christmas gifts.

Do you know what else I have been doing these days? Eating candy canes. Cherry rainbow candy canes and Spree candy canes are my favorite thing in the whole world. Okay, that might be a teensy bit dramatic, but I definitely love them. Maybe because of the novelty of them only being available for 6 weeks of the year? I’m not sure, but I love them. and I just ate four. Candy canes are also my favorite tree decoration because then, when people come and visit you, you can say, “Why don’t you pick a candy cane? I have lots of flavors on there!” because really, who wants peppermint candy canes when you can have ones with bubble gum on the inside? (Bubble gum candy canes taste gross, but kids like them anyways.)

And that completes my thoughts for the day.

Weekend Update

noreply@blogger.com (Caroline) — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 04:55:00 +0000

We had the baptism, and it was great. Thaddeus was great, and everyone showed up on time, and the program was great. We even took great pictures, except that the camera is downstairs, and I am upstairs, and it is Monday, and I feel trashed, and the thought of walking down 15 steps and then back up them again is more than I can take.

So that was Saturday.

There was also a ward party on Saturday, which was nice. Except I didn’t realize that I should have dressed my salad, so I just brought a bucket of really nice mixed greens, and that was it. Because, I don’t know, I thought someone else would bring the dressing. Sorry ward.

Plus did I mention that my parents got into town super late Friday/early Saturday? So there was that whole middle of the night airport run…

And then it was Sunday. Which is always crazy, and we have church in the middle of the day, and the gal that I team teach with taught a great lesson about the family tree of Mary and Joseph and what not, and I sat in the corner and made fun of all the kids. HEY. Someone has to do it. We also collectively as a class decided that the “miracle of birth” was exceedingly gross. Because, HEY HEY, nativity story.

Which brings us to today. Which is always a bad day for me. Because, you know, injection schedule and all that. PLUS, it’s the week before Christmas. And we made up Family Home Evening on the spot, because it was bedtime, and Daniel was all “But it’s my turn to be leader!” So we had an impromptu lesson about what our gift to Christ would be. Daniel’s gift to the Savior will be to keep his hands to himself, Blayne is going to be nice to everyone, Taylor is going to help clean up, and Thaddeus said he would make sure that we always had Family Home Evening. My gift to the Savior is going to be to regular family scripture study, because we are really bad at that.

And now, now I am waiting for my pain pills to kick in, then I’m going to crawl into bed and snuggle up with my heating pad, and cross my fingers that no little children sneak into my bed.

GOOD NIGHT.

Worth it

noreply@blogger.com (Caroline) — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 04:00:00 +0000

I cleaned my house today. It's the first time since May that I *personally* have cleaned the whole thing. This is what happens when your life spirals out of control, you learn to live with dust.

And even though my whole body is racked with spasms, it's sorta worth it, because a clean house feels really, incredibly good.

ALSO: baptism in the morning!

Shoe Shopping Bust

noreply@blogger.com (Caroline) — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 05:31:00 +0000

Today we went looking for new shoes.

And when I say "we" I mean all of us.

And shoe shopping is the worst, because you HAVE to try them on. There is no, "this looks like it will work."

Of course, there is always at least one person who's size is sold out, and it's usually the person that needs shoes the most. Because that is how life goes.

Keeping all the new shoes and boxes straight is a nightmare, especially when you have children close in age, because this means that their sizes are also fairly close, and the difference between a size 1 and a size 2 is NOT MUCH, but if you mix the shoes up, then everyone is miserable, because somebody's foot skin is getting pinched, while somebody else's Achilles is getting rubbed raw, and somebody else has wandered off because you're not giving them enough attention. And that's only THREE kids. Who knows where the fourth person is at this point.

Long story short, we did not find shoes that worked for us, so we get to go back out and try again tomorrow. Because we also cannot handle shopping after 6:00pm, because people turn grouchy. WHAT a bunch of jerks.

On My Nerves

noreply@blogger.com (Caroline) — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 19:20:00 +0000

I just got the results from my latest batch of tests.

Are you ready?

NOTHING.

I seem to be having neuropathic pain, which means that I get to hurt all the time for no good reason.

Isn't that the most amazing news ever? Merry Christmas to me!

Frequency

noreply@blogger.com (Caroline) — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 00:48:00 +0000

I've been listening to Christmas music a lot. I like Christmas music, and it's hard to find it in Virginia. This is because the radio stations in Virginia are stinky. There, I said it. YOU STINK RADIO STATIONS.

Most of the stations are talk radio. Even on the FM. Which, as we all know, is the MUSIC frequency. Talk radio belongs on the AM.

And THEN, the FM stations have the gall to mostly play the same kinds of music. Which is lame. It's not uncommon to switch between radio stations, and hear the same song. Three times in a row. It's obnoxious.

Mostly, I just miss hearing alternative music from the late 90's. There. I said it. I want some Smashing Pumpkins. I need Nirvana. 311. Silverchair. Pearl Jam. Cake.

I would also like there to be an "oldies" station. Beach Boys. Chicago. The Carpenters. Carole King. And also with a little doo-wop and big band thrown in.

And there should be an all-musical-all-the-time station.

I realize that I could probably have all those things and more if I subscribed to some kind of fancy satellite radio thing. But then I would have to subscribe to some fancy satellite radio thing, and I just don't use my car enough to justify that.

Fun fact: I filled up my tank 4 weeks ago, and I still have a just under a quarter of a tank left. I drive to church, and the pharmacy. And that's about it. Sometimes, I even make my kids walk to the grocery store and then carry bags of groceries home. In their arms. Uphill. In the snow. Both ways.

Hypothesis

noreply@blogger.com (Caroline) — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 01:22:00 +0000

Yesterday I went on errands.

Then I came home and died.

Okay, I didn't really die, because I'm OBVIOUSLY right here, writing this.... OR AM I?

We ended up running in and out of a lot of places, because we were looking for a miniature tree skirt.

We were looking for a miniature tree skirt, because I put FOUR GIFTS out under the tree as an experiment.

The experiment is called, "Let's see if people open presents or not" because I don't trust small children, which is a terrible predicament because I reside in a house with multiple small children.

(Also: Dear Kristy, you know that one question you ask about would you rather have $20 now or $100 tomorrow? I would take the $20. I KNOW. And yet.... That is my answer.)

So, seeing as I live in a house with small children, and seeing as how they have inherited my genetic disposition of being excitable, placing any sort of gift under the tree before Christmas is guaranteed to have incredible results.

And the result was that the little tree accidentally tore three presents open slightly.

Now, not trusting the story, I went with it, and declared that we would go get a baby tree skirt for our baby tree. And, having just been at the dollar store the day before, we decided to get the skirt there.

But they were sold out.

So then we went to another store, and then another one, and then another one still. Because people, I wanted a miniature tree skirt, OR I wanted a big tree skirt that I wouldn't feel badly about cutting up... which means I would have taken any regular sized tree skirt under five dollars.... But they don't make those.

My last resort store was going to be Target. Because I know for a fact that Target carries the tree skirt in the size I like. But I was hopeful that at least one of the stores that are between my home and Target would have something useful. But they didn't. Which is why I usually just go to Target in the first place. I'm getting distracted.

What we DID find at each store was cheap candy canes.

I like to buy candy canes in bulk. But not peppermint ones, those are gross.

I like CHERRY candy canes. But they have to be a particular kind of cherry candy cane, because if you get the wrong ones, it's like you're eating cough syrup. And if that was what I wanted, I would have taken a swig of benadryl from my medicine cabinet. But I didn't, because that's the gross cherry flavor.

AT ANY RATE: Four score and several hours later, we arrived back at home, with a tree skirt and delicious candy canes, and then Blayne says, "Mom. I want to tell you the truth about the presents."

At which point I wanted to spin around and say, "AH-HA!" while pointing a finger at her. But I refrained and just said, "Oh yeah?"

And then the truth about the gifts came out: "We tried to open them a little bit.... but you put everything in boxes! And you taped them shut and we couldn't see!"

Which concludes our scientific experiment and confirms my hypothesis on gifts and small children. They are not to be trusted.

Fast in Advance

noreply@blogger.com (Caroline) — Sat, 10 Dec 2011 01:14:00 +0000

Thaddeus' head is much better today. Fortunately, where he split it is hidden by his hair, which I am now NOT going to cut before his baptism. I will trim around his ears, but, you know, cover the bloody scab part.

He did get a special treat at school from his teacher, and he made sure to show all the neighborhood kids just where he busted his head open. Because when you're eight, bloody scabs on your head are cool.

And TODAY when he got home from school, he hung up his jacket, and then yelled at everyone else to hang up their jackets, because "that's so dangerous! That's how I busted my head! JACKETS ARE SLIPPERY!"

I'm glad that he got special treatment for his wound.

I got my own special treatment today.

It all started when my neurologist informed me that while yes, a stomach ache can be a side effect of the medication I'm on, stomach PAIN is not. And then he asked me something else which I also answered wrong, and then magically, I was in another doctor's office on the other side of town being evaluated for pain. Which then got me sent to an imaging place where I got to cut everyone else in line and received dirty looks from all the patients in the waiting room that DID have appointments. I can't help it if I'm a walking emergency.

And do you know why else this is funny? Because every time I go to the doctor, I end up needing some kind of test or bloodwork where I should be fasting. So now, every time I have an appointment, I fast in advance.... just in case. Because, HELLO, case in point, if I hadn't have been fasting, then I would have had to wait until tomorrow to get my blood work and imaging done, and since tomorrow is Saturday, I probably would have had to wait all weekend. But since I am a prepared individual, I got to spend a delightful 6 hours with doctors TODAY.

And I got into it with the lady at the neurologist office, because she was all "You have an outstanding balance." and I was all, "Nuh-uh." and then I stood there and stared at her until she said she would double check somewhere and LOW AND BEHOLD I was right. Which was the only comfortable part of my day.

I'm just saying, that when a girl is having stomach pain, and you have her lay on a table while you press a doppler wand "firmly" in between her ribs and against all the parts of her that hurt? She goes home and curls into the fetal position because she feels like she just got beat.

At any rate, I am home, I have two new prescriptions, and I'm going to spend all weekend self-diagnosing myself via google. I hope I'm not contagious.

Things I did today:

noreply@blogger.com (Caroline) — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 00:22:00 +0000

Dishes
Laundry
Glue Thaddeus' head back together

Kids are so exciting.

Just Dandy

noreply@blogger.com (Caroline) — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 04:51:00 +0000

Whenever I run into people I know now, they ask how I'm doing with a sad look in their eyes.

And then when I say "I'm fine," they go, "Really?"

And that, my friends, is obnoxious.

Here is the thing, I don't want to get into how I'm doing and how I'm responding to treatments and whatnot. I mean, I DO, but not when I'm in the middle of something else. WHICH, if I am running into you, I am. Because I don't run into people at my home, or at your home, which is the appropriate venue for such conversation.

People get way too personal in public places.

Which ALSO is not the same as getting personal on a blog. Because a blog is an extension of my personal space. I control the message, and can generally measure the response. You can't do that other places.

At any rate, what I was going to say before I went off on my tangent, is that I'm doing okay.

I'm doing better than I was, but not as good as I want to be, and I have my 3 month check up on Friday. Plus, I think I'm getting another MRI. You know, because we have to monitor any changes.

I'm having a weird side effect where I basically feel like I'm choking all the time. You know when you're about to throw up, and it feels like food or whatever is stuck at the top of your throat? I have that. All the time. And it's hard to take pills when you feel like you're going to throw up all the time, because your throat muscles and the pills are having a ninja fight in the back of your throat and it's anyone's guess as to who is going to win.

And the OTHER thing is the achy crap. Like when you have the real flu and every part of your body hurts, even your hair, and it hurts to wear clothes? That. That is what I also have. On the upside, I can feel my whole face today. It's a small victory, but I'll take it.