That's So Missy!

Me, In That Pool, T-Minus 1 Day

bocabrunette@gmail.com (Missy) — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 14:41:00 +0000

It's 19 degrees here this morning!!! I've been wearing my heavy winter coat for about a week now and already I'm sick of it. No worries, though, because WE'RE GOING TO CANCUN TOMORROW!!!!!

Oh yea, I can't wait.

See ya in a week! Stay warm, friends.

Thinking On Your Feet: You've Either Got It, Or You Don't

bocabrunette@gmail.com (Missy) — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 18:54:00 +0000

Unfortunately I am the latter – I am terrible at thinking on my feet when someone throws me a remark which I am unsure of how to respond. Honestly, I really believe this is not a skill you can acquire. It’s a natural talent – some people can roll with the punches where others need time to digest what they’ve just heard.

I’ve run into this situation with the same person—my boss—twice over the past month, the most recent occurrence happening this morning. We had a conference call in her office, and the person we were calling asked us to call back in 15 minutes. So we proceeded to sit and chat about the hot topic of the day…one of my co-workers gave her notice yesterday. My boss wanted to know how I was feeling about the situation, and was reassuring me that everything was going to be fine and that we would “divide and conquer” the workload. She seemed to have a preconceived notion that I was probably freaking out and worrying, when in fact I’m not. (And this is another issue that irritates me…where is she getting these ideas?)

So anyway, out of the blue, without me prompting her at all, she was like, “Well, you know, if you are feeling like you need to, we could look at other arrangements if you’re, like, missing Boca Raton, or, like if there are other reasons for you to possibly have a different work arrangement we could make something work.”

HUH????? [Me: Blank stare]

Had I known this from the start, would I have packed up and moved from Florida to the Midwest? What does this mean? Should we be thinking about moving? My husband is still looking for a job and so that has been top-of-mind since we moved—and could be a driving factor in us relocating again.

Seriously, I am so distracted by this and I can’t concentrate.

The other time I was force to think on my feet occurred during my “Goals and Development” meeting. You know, that one where you talk with your manager about what you want to strive for in 2010, what are your aspirations, how do you see yourself growing with the company…yada, yada, yada.

One of the things that my company likes to do, and one of the reasons I found the job so attractive, is that they like to advance their internal talent on a regular basis. My boss has been asking me from Day One where I want to go in the Company and all along I’ve been like, “uh…I’ve been here two months…I’m good where I’m at right now, thanks” (well, not really, but you get the idea). So, suddenly as we’re talking about my development during this meeting, she asks me, “Do you want to move into my job? Do you want to be leading this team?”

Again…HUH???? [Me: blank stare, again]

I mean, isn’t that a loaded question? If I say yes, I want your job, it seems threatening. If I say no, I don’t want your job, it appears that I don’t have aspirations and goals. I really didn’t know how to answer her and I think I just sort of fumbled like, “Oh, that is nice of you to ask, well, who knows, we’ll see…” or something like that. Hello, embarrassment!

After that meeting, I must have gone over in my head a dozen different ways I could have—and should have—responded. But instead, I am like a deer in the headlights. I wish I had that talent to respond in a precise and thoughtful manner. So tell me, how do you think on your feet? What are your tricks? This girl could use some help!

Dude, I Don't Even Know

bocabrunette@gmail.com (Missy) — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 22:17:00 +0000

Today I am stealing a line that Jen Lancaster uses as one of the categories on her blog. Dude...I don't even know where to start. Last night, my husband was telling me that a winter storm was a-brewin’ in our area and I found myself just speechless. He was like, “What? What is it?” And I was like….”Ugh…there are no words.”

I knew this time would come but I put it at the back of my mind. I reassured myself that it wouldn’t be a big deal. But you know what? It IS a big deal: I HATE WINTER!

I moved to Florida in 2005 to get AWAY from snow. I will never forget the winter of 2004 in Chicago. I was living in an apartment and spent the weekend cooped up in my 800 square-foot box (but oh how I loved that space) riding out a massive snowstorm. When it finally stopped snowing on Sunday morning and the sun came out, I went to the parking lot to begin digging out my car. I remember being up to my knees in snow, swearing up a storm, singing Jimmy Buffett songs in my head and swearing to myself that I would not be in Chicago the following winter. I finally had enough.

And now here I am, back to where I started and feeling like I am going out of my mind. I wish I was one of those people who loved snow. If I was, I’d surely be talking about something else right now. But no, instead, I am one of those people who hates the entire process of winter. I loathe the extra time it takes to look out the window to determine if I need to wear boots. Should I put my heels for work in a bag and change at work? Do I need to wear my light coat or my heavy coat? What about a scarf? Will I need my stupid ear muffs since my coat doesn’t have a hood?? And don’t even get me started about driving to work wearing a nice pants suit with a heavy coat, scarf and gloves. I can barely turn my head left and right to see the oncoming traffic. I can’t MOVE wearing all that shit!

My husband Jeff, on the other hand, LOVES winter. He gets excited when it’s about to snow. He even bought a [STUPID LOOKING] hat that he plans to wear while shoveling snow! God help me, all I need now is for him to start wearing this when we go out to dinner! It’s just like this guy’s hat, but red and black checkered.

Creepy Face!

So, tell me what is so fun about this whole thing called winter? Because...Dude, I don't even know.

Blogoversary!

bocabrunette@gmail.com (Missy) — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 14:56:00 +0000

One year ago today, I was living in Florida and sitting in my house feeling down about being unemployed. I decided I needed to stay productive and have an outlet. What resulted was far beyond what I ever imagined. I’ve connected with some amazing people through this blog and it’s been such a great experience to become part of the greater blogging community. There are a ton of people out there who make blogging look so easy and I greatly admire them!

Who knew when I started this blog how much would change in just a few short months. In late October 2008, I got married and my husband and I went on a honeymoon cruise through the Caribbean. I spent my honeymoon trying to forget the fact that I had been laid off just a few weeks prior, and that when I returned home I would have quite a challenge ahead of me–finding a job in a recession market in South Florida, one of the worst-hit areas in the country. I remember spending November and December thinking really hard about what I wanted to do – did I want to own a business? Freelance? Go back into the corporate world? It felt like I had endless possibilities, but one fact kept creeping to the surface as time continued to pass—with my husband’s job also in jeopardy, we needed to broaden our job searching beyond Florida.

And so here I am now, a year later living a very different life in the Midwest. I like to say our move was out of necessity. A survival tactic. A Band-Aid. It’s not the ideal situation but at least we’re not living in a van down by the river. It’s ironic that tomorrow is Thanksgiving and today happens to be my Blogoversary because I’m thinking about all the good things that have resulted from blogging and the things for which I am thankful. First, I can’t emphasize enough how much I’ve enjoyed “meeting” people who are reading my little blog. In particular, Andi and Tracey have become two of my closest blogging buddies. Their energy and friendship have been a source of inspiration. Thanks to both of you – one of these days I hope we will get to meet in person!!

Thank you also to everyone who reads and comments on my blog. I love hearing from you and I look forward to continuing our interactions!

Here’s to another great blogging year ahead!

Thanks everyone,

Missy

Things That Really Bother Me

bocabrunette@gmail.com (Missy) — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 22:42:00 +0000

The drivers where I live are WORSE than the 90 year-old drivers in Boca. I mean, at least Grammie is driving the speed limit! People around here barely touch the pedal, it seems. I continue to be perplexed by this – there’s NO traffic! Why aren’t you driving the speed limit? It makes me nuts.
One of my co-workers is ALWAYS late to work -- nearly every day, I kid you not. And to make matters worse, she sends myself and my other co-worker an email message from her BlackBerry stating that she’s running late, her alarm didn’t go off, she had a wardrobe malfunction, her sinuses kept her up all night, her stomach is bothering her from eating too much cheese dip the night before and she’s stopping at Target to pick up Imodium, but they don’t open until 8 a.m. so that’s why she’s late…all of these are excuses she’s used. If I have to be here by or before 8 a.m., then what makes her so special that she can waltz in here 10, 15 or sometimes 30 minutes late?
People who are passive aggressive. I’m a “D” on the Disc test, and ENTJ on Meyers-Briggs. Basically this means that I tell it like it is, I don’t skirt around an issue. Unfortunately for me, there are A LOT of passive-aggressive types at work which is making it a little challenging for me. If you saw the recent season finale of Curb Your Enthusiasm on HBO, my complaint is similar to that of Jerry Seinfeld: What’s with people saying “Having said that…”? I mean, why can’t you just say what you mean the first time around?
Speaking of Seinfeld…you know what else is bothering me? Low Talkers. There is a certain person I work with who has a terrible, terrible habit of talking too low. Most days I find myself wanting to shake her to get the words out of her louder and clearer. What’s odd is that I think she’s adapted to this style of talking for business purposes. And I think she finds it perfectly acceptable to talk that way.
People who think their project/deadline is the most important thing on the planet, and that I should dropeverythingI’mdoingrightnowtohelpthem. ‘Nuff said.
Strangers who try to involve you in their drama. I was at Kohl’s not too long ago picking up a couple of picture frames (holy cow, have you seen how cheap their frames are? And cute, too!). Anyway, as I get into the check-out line it becomes obvious there is a huge issue with the cashier. She doesn’t know what she’s doing and she’s slow. So I jump into another line, where a soccer mom is purchasing clothes for her son. A TON of clothes...which means removing the hangers, checking for security tags, folding the clothes…and then the Mom starts complaining that the price isn’t ringing up correctly. So she starts looking at me, like, “Can you believe this? I mean, that price is wrong, it wasn’t like that in the Sunday flyer, I can’t believe they don’t have their merchandise labeled properly"…yada yada yada.
Finally, and because this just happened to me this morning…People who creep up behind your desk at work without any warning. How about a “hello” or “knock knock”? No, instead, I get someone talking right off the bat about a new project as I am still in the middle of typing an email. It’s like…can you give me just a second here to finish this thought that I was in the middle of typing? And that thought being how much I can’t stand it when people like you creep up behind me??

My Ongoing Fascination with David Duchovny

bocabrunette@gmail.com (Missy) — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 22:57:00 +0000

Oh I have sooo much I want to talk about...work, work politics, work gossip, how my husband and I are officially sick of eating at the Olive Garden {oh the horror of it all!!}, and my recent trip back to Florida--the first time since we moved in July {sniff}. But, all of that will need to wait. Because I am seriously in love with Hank Moody.

Hank is David Duchovny's latest character on the series Californication on Showtime. I first discovered this show on Netflix, watched Seasons 1 and 2, and then promptly ordered Showtime on cable so I could watch Season 3, currently airing. Are you watching this show? Well, ARE YOU? And if you aren't...WHY NOT??

Hank Moody is a struggling author with a 13-year old daughter and an on-again, off-again girlfriend/mother-of-his child, Karen {played by the incredibly beautiful Natascha McElhone -- seriously, it should be a crime to have cheekbones like hers. I would die for them.}

So, what's the big deal about this show? Well, let me tell you...first of all, it's very...shall we say...ADULT. This is not the kind of show you watch with your parents. Hank, of course, is a major chick magnet and seems to land a new girlfriend ever episode. {Or, as my husband says with such affection...Hank gets more ass than a toilet seat.} But, much like men say they don't read Playboy for the pictures, I like to say that I don't watch Californication for the action. I watch it for David Duchovy. The man is such a brilliant actor. Witty, funny and easy on the eyes...what's not to love? It's be great seeing him finally break free of his Agent Mulder character from the X-Files, although, he was just as equally entertaining on that show but for different reasons.

I just can't get over how they keep showing his butt on Californication. It's incredible!

OK, I have to stop here...I could go on and on. Do you have celebrities that you dream about? Who do you pretend to have as your boyfriend? Please, discuss, while I continue to be short of breath.

Missy's Trying Her Groove Back

bocabrunette@gmail.com (Missy) — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 16:57:00 +0000

I've been mulling over the title of this post for the past two weeks (incredibly, yes, two weeks). It was a Friday after work and I was driving home on the highway, thinking to myself that I really need, or should I say want, to start blogging again.

So I'm driving around the entrance ramp, when I say, ah, yes! I'll call it "Missy's Getting Her Groove Back" but then I realized, well, I haven't really gotten my groove back. Yet. Then I thought, maybe I should title this "Wow I really suck big time at blogging, and I really admire all those bloggers whom I read every day and somehow have something to say every day...yea, I really suck."

Yea, that's pretty much how I feel.

Moving back to the Midwest and becoming employed again has been, by far, a much bigger adjustment than I ever imagined. We like the area where we live, but we don't love it. I like my job a lot, but I don't love it. It's taken a few months for me to realize all this, but the reality is that our situation is probably more of a Band-Aid than anything at this point. I know we probably won't be in this area for a lengthy period of time, so we're just trying to make the most of it.

And making the most of something in this area is a very delicate balance. Unfortunately we've ate at nearly every restaurant in the area, with the exception of Hometown Buffet, which I refuse to set foot in. Last weekend we traveled over 40 miles just to go eat sushi. Who drives that far just to eat sushi? The minute we arrived in the town it was like, ahhh, civilization. We ordered way too much but it was worth it. I can still taste that salmon sushi and the yummy roll with drizzled mango sauce.

Later this week, for the first time since we moved in July, we are heading back to Florida to visit my stepson for his 14th birthday. I never thought I would miss living in Florida so much, but I miss our old house and the lifestyle. I miss my old nail salon and having Whole Foods and the mall just down the street. I miss our pool, and I even miss our crazy next-door neighbor.

Living back in the Midwest has its perks, though. I've enjoyed seeing the seasons change again. We have a fireplace in our house and we've put it to good use these past few weeks. I am finding it sort of fun again to shop for winter clothing and rebuilding a wardrobe. I am looking forward to the holidays and seeing the snow fall again. Of course, ask me again in a month if I like the snow. I will probably growl at you.

So, life all in all is good. My team recently discussed time-off during the holidays, and guess who will be in the office the whole time? Yep, yours truly. I only had five days off this year but I managed to negotiate three weeks for next year. So, I will be in the office the day before and after Thanksgiving, and around Christmas and New Year's. My co-workers were all making sad faces at me, like, "Oh we feel so badly that you have to be here" to which I responded "Last year at this time I was unemployed...I'm just thankful to have a job!"

And so that's really what I'm trying to do now...see the positives in everything. So what if I have to be in the office? At least I have a job. At least I have my health. And I'm pretty darn content, I guess.

For those of you who are still following me and my little old blog, thanks for hanging in there. It's good to be back.

An Update, Bullet-Style

bocabrunette@gmail.com (Missy) — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 23:30:00 +0000

You know that I'm officially back in the corporate world when I decide to do a blog update in bullets. If I had PowerPoint capabilities, perhaps I would create a few slides with some fancy charts.

Alas, it is Sunday night and I'm worn out. However, I made a promise to myself that I would get back into the blogging swing again this weekend. I'm not even sure where to start, so let's dive right in:

Two weeks ago, my stepson visited us from Florida for a week. The visit was great, but mid-week I found myself sidelined with a cold. Or so I thought. Turns out it was a sinus infection. I've had the pleasure of taking Z-Pak and sitting at my desk for four days in a row, totally nauseous out of my mind. Talk about miserable.

Jeff and I went to Chicago last weekend for the first time since we moved back. It was absolute heaven! I shopped like a madwoman at Water Tower for the afternoon. On a related note, would someone tell me what the hell has happened to Macy's--formerly my beloved Marshall Field's--at Water Tower? It's become such a pit hole!

We came back from Chicago {my birthday weekend!} to discover that flowers had been delivered while we were away. The neighbor kid a few doors down brought them over. I was so surprised! Aren't they pretty?

From my brother- and sister-in-law, and Andi, my blogging buddy!

There is something going on this weekend in our new little town called "The Celebration". When I asked my co-workers what is The Celebration, and what exactly are we celebrating, I got a couple of nasty glares, like, don't knock The Celebration till you try it, bitch. Well, let me tell you a little secret about Missy: I don't do crowds. Thankfully neither does Jeff unless it's a Phish concert. So, we stayed home this weekend and it was blissful. There is nothing I hate worse than rubbing bodies with strangers in 90 degree+ heat! Apparently Richard Marx is the headliner for tonight at Le Celebration...thanks, I don't need to pretend to be 15 again!

Today I went for a manicure to this little Vietnamese-owned place in the mall near my house. I found a girl there I like, and she also did a decent job waxing my eyebrows. As us girls know, if you find someone you like, you stick with them. Well, Kim was off today so I ended up with a new person...who spoke not a word of English. She was pressing on my nails too hard and didn't understand what I was telling her. Then, after I hand her the light pink shade of OPI polish for my nails, she proceeds to apply the French white tips and then a clear coat, presumably the base coat. Suddenly she's all, " OK! You done!" {I lied, apparently she does speak English.} Then I'm all, "What about the pink polish?" And she's all "Ahhhhh!!!" And I'm all "I want the pink polish." And she's all "Top coat on, we do it again." WTF? I left there completely aggravated. Lesson learned, if Kim is out, don't go!

Finally, I was standing near our kitchen sink the other night, eating an Oreo {the reduced fat kind, I swear}, staring at one of the kitchen cabinets. Suddenly I felt like something was watching me! A chill went down my spine when I realized that there is the distinct pattern of a face in the knot of wood within the cabinet. Am I crazy, or do you see what I'm seeing?

See?

Here's the same cabinet {on the left} from far away...

Have a good week bloggie friends!

Decorating at Work -- To Decorate or Not?

bocabrunette@gmail.com (Missy) — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 01:00:00 +0000

I am someone who finds it practically a requirement to trick out my workspace at the office, simply because so much of my time is spent in that space. And, I really can't think of anything worse than staring at those drab, corporate standard gray walls.

In past positions, I had the whole decorating thing down to a T. I had a lovely {fake} plant or potted flowers, a cute, little lamp to help with lighting, and the usual array of pictures. I also had a bunch of crap pinned to the walls like little sayings or quotes, a Monet calendar, an Iowa State bumper sticker, and whatever swag I managed to collect during my time at the company, most likely acquired from training events.

This time around I've decided to approach my space from a totally different perspective: Less is more.

There is something that makes me very edgy about bringing too many personal items to the office. I suppose that's my jaded side coming out, given I have experienced two layoffs. Believe me, when you're laid off, it's critical that all your shit fits into one box or less!

Today, as I was thinking to myself how proud I was to approach my space from a minimalist angle {despite it going against my usual need to decorate}, my boss suddenly appeared out of thin air {she is a quiet walker, that one} and announced to everyone in my immediate space, "Missy really needs to decorate her space, don'tchya think?"

Oye.

Yea, I suppose this space could use a splash of color. But let's remember -- I'm working in the middle of the Midwest. This ain't IKEA for crying out loud.

If you had to sit in this space, what would you do to spruce it up? Suggestions, please!

And no, I am not going to buy an area rug.

Check out my photog skillz! Almost a near panoramic shot, taken with my iPhone on the sly.

Here's my guest chair and the view of my co-worker's desk. I swear she leaves her Mac off and uses the screen as a mirror to spy on me.

My Attempt to Start a Photo Diary of My Commute to Work

bocabrunette@gmail.com (Missy) — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 00:51:00 +0000

I don't know why I feel compelled to share with you the DRASTIC change in landscape but one day last week I decided to start snapping a few pictures. While I was driving, of course.

That's the back end of our corporate center office. Yes, you read that correctly. The processing plants are located just west of the corporate office. Remember what I said about the parking lot being hell on earth? Well, perhaps now you will understand. Although, I am not complaining. Those plants are giving me a paycheck twice a month.

These pictures might also help to explain why I've had to get my car warshed {as they say in these here parts} every weekend since we moved. Whatever my company is cooking up on any random day gets spewed into the air and lands on the cars in the parking lot.

The other thing you can't see? The way the air smells in this area. The real estate agent who took us house hunting before we relocated made sure to tell us, "Do you smell that? That smell? I like to say that's the smell of money!"

Yep, that smell sure is distinct. Some days it smells like pet food. Other days it smells like hot chocolate. And then you get the days when it smells like pet food AND hot chocolate...oh, those are special days. Today, however, I was pleasantly surprised that it smelled like hot, buttered popcorn in the parking lot when I went out during lunch. Of course, this being the Midwest and all, the company has popcorn machines in the cafeteria and you can help yourself to free popcorn every day. I decided to partake today, and boy, I am regretting it! My tummy ached all afternoon.

Hopefully tomorrow I'll be able to snap a picture of a sign on my way to work that says "Agri-Fab". How hysterical is that?

Yes, that's right, we are Agri-Fab around here. I feel so at home.

Take That, Nosey Co-Workers!

bocabrunette@gmail.com (Missy) — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 00:37:00 +0000

The timing could not have been more perfect...I read this today on Corporette while at work {of course, duh} and raced home to make some changes on my Facebook page.

I sound like a Staples commercial, but, seriously, it was so easy!

Do yourself a favor and change some settings if you're not comfy sharing your innermost thoughts otherwise knows as Status Updates with friends who aren't friends, or those photos from college your friends tagged you in...you know, the ones where you're doing beer bongs?

I am breathing a huge sigh of relief. Can you hear me?

The Thing About Facebook

bocabrunette@gmail.com (Missy) — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 01:13:00 +0000

I know this isn't new news, but seriously, WHY DO YOUR CO-WORKERS FEEL THE NEED TO SEND YOU FACEBOOK FRIEND REQUESTS?????

I've been at my new job for THREE weeks and I knew it was only a matter of time before I received their friend requests. I literally scrubbed my page, just to make sure I was comfortable letting them "be my friend".

During the week, after I accepted their requests, I realized that my Twitter handle was posted on my FB page, and that my Twitter page links to my blog. God help me. I only hope they were too busy snooping at my personal pictures on FB and didn't check out my Twitter page. In fact, the next morning, one of the two girls I work closely with was like, "Missy, I saw your wedding pictures last night!!! Squeal!!" Jeez-us.

Last Friday, as I sat at my desk, dying for the weekend to come {yes, it's happened already, I'm a corporate world hater}, I wanted to go on Facebook and bitch about stuff. But I couldn't. WHY? Because the people I work with would see my comments. And therein lies the rub.

I could have declined their requests, right? But do I need weirdness at work if I don't accept? No. Am I aggravated that I feel like there's no way around this issue? YES!

Tell me, blogging buddies. How would you handle this situation?

Walking Around in My PJs is Suddenly Not an Option

bocabrunette@gmail.com (Missy) — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 01:58:00 +0000

So, I've survived the first two weeks of work after not working and walking around in flip flops for seven {glorious} months. Week One was a blur. Much too much socializing for my liking. Although, in reality, it was probably a normal amount of socializing and talking. To me, though, it seemed like a three day interview all over again.

The second week proved to have another set of challenges: Getting my feet to cooperate with wearing heels and PMS-ing at the same time. As if "normal" PMS, whatever that is, isn't bad enough, a strange new PMS symptom reared its ugly head last week -- water retention in my feet and ankles. I've never experienced this before, and although I'm convinced it has something to do with my period, I still plan to get it checked out...as soon as I receive my health insurance cards in the mail, which I'm told could take 3-4 weeks! Unbelievable.

Anyway, the swollen feet thing did not help AT ALL last week. I had several meetings each day, some meetings held in a different building which required me to trek out to the parking lot and to my car...a long ass haul {I am planning to take pictures of our lovely corporate parking lot and then you can share in my personal hell.} The issue with the parking lot? There is NO WHERE to park! The people at my company are serious about starting their day early...as in, 7:30 a.m. early. Yuck! If you arrive anytime after 7:45 {and you're really pushing it at that point}, you might as well forget parking in the lot closest to the building. You're forced to go to something called The South Lot, which is all the way across the f*&^%$# street.

On a different note, we are really loving the house we're renting. The neighborhood is great...there's a park nearby with a walking path, baseball diamonds, tennis courts, and even a volleyball sand pit. People actually come out of their houses here and sit on their patios! What's up with that?!? That's one thing we never saw in Boca...it was too damn hot!

This past week, as I was blissfully enjoying my new neighborhood, I discovered one evening that this guy from work---WHO IS ON MY TEAM---lives right next door to us! Ugh!

Imagine my horror as I stood at our kitchen sink {changed out of my work clothes and sporting a freshly washed face} cleaning my commuter coffee mug, looking out our kitchen window to discover Mr. Team Member grilling on his patio and basically looking right into our kitchen window!

Waaaay to close for comfort. My husband, on the other hand, is very amused by this whole situation.

Now I feel like I can't walk around my house, or at least in the kitchen, wearing anything but normal looking clothes. I can't imagine this guy seeing me in my PJs! Or my robe! The thought of it gives me the creeps. {Perhaps I should explain that I find him very unattractive? Or that Jeff and I can't figure out if his wife is really his wife, or just his girlfriend? And whether they have one or two cars? And if they only have one car, is he some kind of weird control freak? And what does the wife or girlfriend do all day long if she's stuck at home without a car?}

Oh yes, I do love to speculate and concoct stories in my head about my neighbors!

Meanwhile, we do have "normal" neighbors living on the other side of us...Bill and Elsie. Bill's a retired school principal with one KILLER vegetable garden. I am trying to play nicey nice so he will bring us some of those tomatoes growing like wildfire in his backyard. Salsa, anyone?

Bill and Elsie's backyard and their veggie garden. Notice how brown and awful our grass looks.

This was my attempt to capture a full moon and a beautiful sunset.
Can you say, Blair Witch Project?!?

More pictures coming this week!! And possibly even scarier.

My Latest Obsession: Cocktail Rings!

bocabrunette@gmail.com (Missy) — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 23:54:00 +0000

Don't ask me how I got started on cocktail rings. Actually, now that I think about it, I was busy packing our luggage for the move and as I sorted through my jewelry I realized I had a cocktail ring that I wanted to wear to work. The thing about cocktail rings? Some are just too darn big and obnoxious looking. I like the middle-of-the-road rings that are unobtrusive with a presence, if that makes sense.

Oh how I want to buy one of each! Look at these beauties from Banana Republic:

As I rationalized the price {in the neighborhood of $50 without shipping} I couldn't help but think that $50 sure seems steep when you consider that this isn't the kind of ring you wear all the time. It's more like a statement piece, I suppose. Although, knowing me, I'd probably wear that silver pave ring every day.

So just for kicks I looked at Overstock.com and found this amazing ring for $22.99. Not bad!

And then I saw this and my jaw dropped...

This could be yours for the low, low price of $4,999.99!

Those Banana Republic rings suddenly seem reasonably priced. Hmmm.

We're Unpacked --- My Cats Aren't Missing

bocabrunette@gmail.com (Missy) — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 00:54:00 +0000

I survived three days of work last week, but not without my feet yelling and screaming at me, wondering why the hell they were suddenly wearing HEELS instead of flip-flops. And to add insult to injury, my office building and the parking lot are big mazes, and I still can't figure out where the hell I should park. The parking lot is jam packed by 7:45 a.m. and I'm out in No Man's Land walking a loooong way into the building. Then, I managed to select entrances on two separate occasions where I had to walk up four flights of stairs in said heels. Ugh.

Thursday could not come soon enough. Finally, after what seemed like a long week of packing, moving, leaving Boca Raton and staying in a hotel, we moved into our new place. The night before the move, my husband picked up our cats from the vet/boarders and spent an hour with them at the new house to make sure they were OK. The next morning we arrived at 8 am to wait for the movers. We called out the cats' names and they didn't respond. We checked the basement. No response. We looked in every room, in the bathtubs, underneath the stairs...basically any nook you can imagine. Still no response.

Finally, Jeff said, "Missy, they're gone! Someone must have been here last night. They took them!"

I almost fainted when he said that.

I started yelling at Jeff, "How could they be gone? And who would have come here last night? It doesn't make any sense!"

I decided to call the person we're renting the house from to see if knew anything. As I'm on the phone with him, I'm pacing back and forth in the kitchen. I turned around at one point and looked up. There, sitting on top of the kitchen cabinets, were Cookie and Doughie.

Jeff thinks they were mad at us for keeping them in a cage for a week, and probably a little freaked out about the new place.

I'm just glad they're ok. They're like my children, I swear.

We're about 98% unpacked -- my parents and sister came down to help us and WOW, we made a lot of progress. I'm not one to leave unopened boxes lying around {plus that cardboard starts to smell up the house}. We have a couple of DVD boxes and some other miscellaneous items, and that's it.

It feels good to be settled. I have a full week of work ahead of me, but I'm looking forward to getting back into a blogging routine. To say that we're experiencing culture shock would be an understatement! But it's all good, and I can't wait to tell you about it.

Our Journey to the Midwest, Or, A Day of Eating Cough Drops

bocabrunette@gmail.com (Missy) — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 17:19:00 +0000

This past Thursday we left Florida and flew to Chicago Midway in a day that I like to call, "Missy the Bitch on Wheels Day".

Our day began with me realizing that I should have set our alarm an hour earlier, resulting in me running around my mother-in-law's house like a madwoman. We expected the limo driver to pick us up at 9:30 am, which meant we needed to sedate our cats at 8 am, put their harnesses on, and get them into their carriers. Plus I had to get dressed, pack our luggage, and figure out how I would get fresh laundry and a mysterious bulky Publix bag that Jeff handed to me {"Here, I need to put this in the suitcase} into our already busting-at-the-seams-luggage.

Of course, OF COURSE, the cats would not eat the Pill Pocket "treats" filled with their sedation medication. Cookie spit it out and ran away from us. Doughie ate a tiny bit and then proceeded to run around the house like she was on Speed. I kept yelling at Jeff to get the harnesses on them, and he kept saying it wasn't going to happen. They were too wound up and they sensed something was up.

In the midst of all this, I could not FOR THE LIFE OF ME get all our shit packed again into our suitcases. Normally I am a light traveler and I always carry on my baggage. Not this time. I had to pack work outfits, three different pair of shoes {of course}, two handbags {of course}, casual clothes, Jeff's clothes, toiletries, make-up, jewelry, our laptops, paperwork, my water mug that I take everywhere...the stuff never seemed to end. I am embarrassed to admit that of the two bags we checked, the larger one weighed 12 pounds over the limit. That's a first for me!

All that running around the house made me break out into the classic Florida Indoor Sweat Because It's So Damn Friggin' Humid Inside. Once inside the limo Jeff and I sat like contorted gymnasts trying to get our legs configured around the cats' crates while we listened to the Cat Symphony...Cookie and Doughie alternating their cries the entire way to the airport.

Since I never check bags, I can't remember the last time I had to stand in line inside the airport to check in. What a headache! After waiting 15 minutes and enduring either happy faces from strangers {"Oh! Is that a kitty in your bag? I love cats!} or glares {"Is that a CAT? I am allergic to CATS!} we finally got through the line...and then the stress level shot up big time.

I warned Jeff that we would have to take the cats out of their carriers at Security. But we both hoped they would make an exception since we they didn't take their medication AND since we failed to get the harnesses on both cats {did I mention that??}. No luck, we had to "remove the animal from the cage" as one Southwest employee said to me. I have never felt more nervous in my life. All I could imagine was each cat jumping from our arms and running into the depths of the Fort Lauderdale Airport, never to be seen again.

Well, the whole thing turned out to be a non-event. The cats were too scared to move and we easily moved them in and out of their carriers with no problem. The next hurdle would be our flight.

Of course, OF COURSE, there is some crazy lady sitting in the front row on the plane yakking with every person walking past her. Prior to boarding I heard her talking to someone about their bag {"Oh that's a lovely bag, where did you get it?} and chatting unnecessarily with people trying to board and MOVE PAST THE FIRST ROW. As soon as we boarded I noticed two open seats right behind Chatty Cathy and open space for our carry-ons so I just went for it. The minute I started to put our bags in the overhead bin, this lady starts quizzing me about whether we can carry the cats on board, and where would we put them? I shot her a look like, listen lady, stop asking me questions, there are 100 PEOPLE BEHIND ME TRYING TO GET ON THIS PLANE.

It took some finagling {is that a word?} to get our soft-side carriers under the seats. Doughie cried the ENTIRE flight. Cookie never made a peep. As soon as we took off, I realized that in all the madness of the morning we never ate anything for breakfast. I managed to sip about 1/4 cup of Dunkin Donuts coffee at the airport but that was it. I'm the kind of person who needs to eat three meals daily, if not every 4 hours. Digging around in my purse I managed to find some Watermelon flavored Halls Vitamin C Cough Drops. YUM! Just the perfect snack, hahaha. Well, not really. The cough drops made my stomach growl and my brain calculated the time of our next meal...probably not until late, VERY LATE that day.

Sure enough, I was right. We waited nearly 45 minutes at Midway's baggage claim {that is no exaggeration...I wanted to KILL someone by the time our flight's bags started coming off the baggage carousel} then we had a three hour drive in a rental car, but not before we dealt with the nasty bumper-to-bumper 15 miles an hour traffic going out of the city. We finally arrived at our destination around 7:30 p.m. and dropped off our cats at the place where we're boarding them. {I've visited them every day and I can't tell you how much it pains me to board them! I will be happy when we're moved into our house and they have their lives back to normal.}

We ate dinner, if you want to call it that, at well-known Midwest burger place that night called Culver's. I'm not much of a burger person but at that point I would've eaten anything. It turned out to be a huge mistake because we both had massively upset stomachs on Friday, the day our cars arrived on the big 18-wheeler, the day we needed to return the rental car, the day we needed to get the keys for our rental house, the day we wanted to go see the cats, the day we needed to get some groceries for our hotel room, and the day I had to go get my car washed because it was so dang filthy from being on the truck.

All this activity and not-feeling-so-well might explain why I am doing absolutely nothing today. Other than using the hotel's indoor pool and sitting outside on their nice brick patio.

It's just as hot here as it is in Florida. I feel right at home.

I can't believe I have to start using my brain again tomorrow. Back to work!! More on that in my next post.

A Weekend of Lasts

bocabrunette@gmail.com (Missy) — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 20:40:00 +0000

I've only moved a handful of times in my life but with every move comes my need to remember certain things. I have a ritual of taking one last look at places, at streets and people. Somehow doing these things helps to paint a permanent picture in my mind.

This weekend as Jeff and I ran our seemingly endless array of final errands, I found myself paying closer attention to the area in which we live. I wondered if I will ever be back to Boca Raton. I wondered if there will be any reason to return to our neighborhood. As a homeowner, you become so attached to the home that you've made, the one you cared for so lovingly, that it's hard to believe you're leaving it behind. You wonder what will become of the place you've called home for over four years. You hope the new owners will take care of it like you did {Fingers crossed our house will sell quickly!}

We will undoubtedly be back to Florida since my stepson and in-laws still live in the area. But it will be different. My in-laws are selling their house and moving to a new town in South Florida. It will be strange to visit them in their new home, one that is unfamiliar to us.

These pretty flowers just started blooming in front of our house!

As I titled this post, the weekend was filled with a final good-byes. First we said good-bye to our in-laws who left today for vacation. We said a final good-bye to our local pet store. I said one last good-bye to the Boca Town Center, Whole Foods and Publix. I took our cats to the vet for the final time. I picked up our clothing at the dry cleaners one last time. I even paid a visit to our favorite car wash because our cars need to be clean before they're shipped. With every stop, there was the awful ache...the one inside saying, "This will be the last time I'll be here."

Doughie at the vet, trying to hide in the sink.

Of all the things I will miss, I have to say that hands-down it will be our pool. While it's pretty much your average pool, it's been a savior during our time in Boca. When I was working, I made a point of spending weekend time at the pool, even if just for an hour. When I was laid off, the pool became more of a getaway for me. Oddly enough, I can recall only one time in the four years we've lived here when the pool was crowded. Rarely do you see many people out there--it's just too dang hot, I suppose. There's nothing like sitting with the sun pouring over your face, the sound of the water lapping against the walls and the neighbors' AC's running in unison. The sounds cancel out all other noises and it becomes the perfect place to read, nap, or just swim a few relaxing laps. I loved that time to myself.

My little slice of heaven.

I always sit in the same place at the pool and I
I always end up staring at these palm trees.

We are about to embark on a few hectic days ahead of us. On Monday, I'll be busy doing last minute things around our house and packing our suitcases. On Tuesday the movers arrive to pack up the house. They come back on Wednesday to load the moving truck, and then we fly out on Thursday for good. Then, I start my job on June 29th. I know the time is going to move quickly...I still can't believe I start working a week from Monday!

I hope to update my blog this coming weekend. We'll be cooped up in a hotel until the weekend of July 4th, so I should have plenty of time to spend on my laptop. I'm sure I'll have quite a story to tell about how we're traveling with our two cats on Southwest Airlines, and then driving three hours from Chicago Midway to our destination. Oh yes, it's going to be A LOT of fun. Ugh.

Until then, a final good-bye from Boca Raton. Next week I will officially be a Midwesterner again!

I couldn't end this post without saying Happy Father's Day, Dad. I love you!

Haircut Inspiration and My New "Do"

bocabrunette@gmail.com (Missy) — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 23:49:00 +0000

I am embarrassed to admit that, occasionally, I like to watch the Home Shopping Network and QVC.

Normally I'm just a viewer --it's sort of like window shopping. Rarely do I buy something. I have to be really inspired.

Well, inspiration struck late one night last year as QVC aired a segment on Honora pearls. It was perfect timing because I needed a very specific color of brown pearls to give as a gift for my bridesmaids. The night I tuned in, they were selling this set of brown pearls, with the necklace AND a bracelet AND earrings. What a deal!

I realize this set of pearls has nothing to do with my hair. But, I suppose I needed to explain my HSN/QVC habit that so you understand why I'm a fan of HSN host, Colleen Lopez.

I don't know what it is about her...she has that sort of mesmerizing quality that never fails to pull me into whatever she's selling. The other day when she announced an upcoming special showcase {such an HSN word} on sunglasses, I refused to allow my husband to change the channel. He is seriously starting to question my sanity.

Anyway, as I awaited the sunglasses segment, Colleen was busy selling CoQ-10 vitamins and I fell in love with her haircut. I love the look!

Yes, I snapped these pictures off the TV with my iPhone.

Not bad, huh?

Today I had my last haircut before we move with my gay hair stylist Joe. I showed him these snapshots of Colleen. I asked him to cut my bangs like hers, but to please keep the length since I am preoccupied with growing my hair long like the Real Housewives of New Jersey. Sort of like Jacqueline and Teresa:

And here's the final result:

I've been out of the sun for TWO days and already I'm pale!
BTW, this is a DIY color...Perfect 10 by Clairol

Thanks, Colleen, for the haircut inspiration!
{I just noticed that her bangs sweep the opposite direction of mine...I will have to try that tomorrow!}

Forecast: Hot, Hot, Hot {Or, I'm Sweating My A** Off}

bocabrunette@gmail.com (Missy) — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 17:54:00 +0000

From today's South Florida Sun-Sentinel:

"Expect another sweltering day with heat index readings in the 100s. The forecast calls for partly cloudy skies with highs in the low 90s and lows in the mid 70s. There is a 30 percent chance of showers and thunderstorms. On Tuesday, inland areas west of Florida's Turnpike saw heat index readings in the low 100s."

I know I shouldn't complain, but, damn. It is really freaking hot out there.

Oh, and the photo that accompanied this story? All I can say is...soooo Miami!

Well, at least he's not burning his cute little paws off.

Hi, My Name is Missy and I'm a Vera Bradley Addict

bocabrunette@gmail.com (Missy) — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 12:00:00 +0000

Oh, stop the madness!!

It all started with this bag that I purchased for my honeymoon Caribbean cruise:

This is the Vera bag in Java Blue.

Then, of, course, I had to have the matching make-up bag:

This past week, I've been obsessing over Vera's laptop bags. Of all things.

I'll take one of each, please.

I'm also obsessed over finding the *perfect* gym bag. I need all the work-out inspiration I can get.

For some reason I seem to favor these last two patterns above, called Puccini {left} and Pinwheel Pink {right}. The pink one is soooo Florida, but I still love it.

Oh, so, I should mention that my husband and I went shopping last weekend for laptop bags. Neither of us own bags for our laptops and therefore we have nothing to store them in when we go through the airport next week. I made Jeff stop at a local Hallmark store so I could scope out the Vera laptop bag situation. No luck.

Alas, this is what I ended up purchasing. I sooo wanted a Vera Bradley bag, but without seeing it in person, I was leery about ordering the bag online. This is a safe choice, I suppose, since we are talking about protecting my laptop and not looking pretty, right?

Boo.

This Has Missy Written All Over It

bocabrunette@gmail.com (Missy) — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 21:58:00 +0000

Thanks to Lis at Lis Loves for blogging today about a monogrammed water bottle giveaway at Sew Girlie Embroidery -- hello, cuteeeee stufff!!!

I am a huge, huge fan of water bottles. You'll usually find me leaving the house with my plastic tumbler in hand, matching straw, and some kind of cool beverage like Crystal Lite iced tea or just plain water.

What is it about pink and green that I love so much??

Sew Girlie is giving away three of these cute monogrammed bottles this week! Hurry on over to their blog to enter the giveaway and the Sew Girlie site to check out the bottles and all their cute products!

Gearing Up for My Last Week in Boca

bocabrunette@gmail.com (Missy) — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 18:33:00 +0000

Well, reality has finally settled in. We're moving.

Yesterday we spent a good chunk of the afternoon moving my stepson's things from our house to his Mom's house. Boy does that kid have a lot of stuff! It seemed like his XBox games kept multiplying as we tried to clean out his room. Thankfully we got everything done before the daily afternoon downpour hit the Boca area. Now I have one less room to worry about as we get the house ready for moving.

One of the things I love about living in Florida is the sun. It hit me like a ton of bricks this past week how different the weather will be in Illinois, and I am trying to prepare myself for it. During the last few years I was living in the Chicago area, my doctor diagnosed me as having a mild case of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). The winters did a real number on me...I had zero motivation, felt very blue, and wanted to stay inside all day and eat salty and sweet foods. The lack of sunlight and Vitamin D had a major impact on me.

Knowing what might be in store for me this winter, I've spent the last week going to our pool and being outside nearly every day. This morning as I put on my swimsuit, a familiar smell that I love wafted though the air...suntan lotion! My clean swimsuit still lingers with the smell of Coppertone Sport spray lotion, and oh how I love that smell. It immediately reminds me of the sun, the beach, and our pool. I may resort to sniffing suntan lotion this winter when I need to be reminded of our days living in Florida.

This week will be filled with menial tasks and preparing for the move. I am so thankful that I don't have to pack a single box -- my company pays for our moving expenses. I know it sounds like I don't need to lift a finger but it's quite the opposite...I still need to gather things together, go through closets, throw away things, etc. Also, did I mention we're putting our house on the market? That's the other thing weighing heavily on us...not to mention that we need to leave the house in top condition the day we move out.

Once we get moved and the dust settles, I am looking forward to getting back into the blogging routine. The past few weeks have been difficult to stay afloat with everything going on, and I hope you'll hang in there with me over the next month. I can't wait to share stories about our new town and the different lifestyle we'll be living. It's totally different from Boca, but it's different in a real good way...like, small town, local produce, no traffic...ah, yes. It's going to be a good change.

Here's the house we're renting!

It's just screaming for landscaping...where are the
lush plants and palm trees??

What Did You Think of "Pretty in Plaid"?

bocabrunette@gmail.com (Missy) — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 22:00:00 +0000

I will start this post by saying that I'm a huge fan of Jen Lancaster's. Rarely do I laugh out loud when I read a book, much less laugh out loud in public while reading a book {hello, embrassing!}. She absolutely kills me and often I find myself nodding my head, comparing situations in her books to my life.

"Pretty in Plaid" was no exception. While I didn't necessarily enjoy reliving the 80's and being reminded of my awful Brownie and Girl Scouts uniforms, I continue to be amazed by her memory and such accurate recounts of 80's pop culture. Plus? I firmly believe Jen and I must have been separated at birth. We both worked previously in corporate communications. Fletch worked in a call center (so did my husband) doing benefits administration for a consulting firm. I also worked for a consulting firm specializing in benefits administration, but I worked in corporate communications. Ok, so that was a little confusing...

Anyway, my favorite part of the entire book occurs around page 252. Jen is preparing to take the Metra {Chicago's commuter rail system} from her suburban apartment into the city for her new job. Immediately I could relate, as I did the exact same thing those first few years after college when I lived with my parents {don't laugh}. Just like Jen, I was a total wreck about taking the train. I never had a reason to take the train in my entire 20 years of existence, and my parents and friends had never taken it either. So it was all up to me to figure it out. Funny, I still recall how I was so afraid that I'd get on the wrong train...really, the trains only run north near the Wisconsin border and south into the city. You can't mess it up.

So anyway...I must share a little excerpt from the book because I do the EXACT same thing as Jen describes. I am so relieved there is someone out there just as anal as me. I busted out in laughter in the middle of Panera Bread reading this, much to the ~~enjoyment~~ displeasure of the Boca Raton Ladies Who Lunch crowd, if you get my drift.

"I've been driving him {Fletch} nuts for the past twenty-four hours rehashing exactly how I take the Metra commuter rail to get to the city to get to the office. I already have the train schedule memorized. I figure I live a ten-minute drive away from the station, so I plan to leave fourty-five minutes early. Can't be too careful, right? I'm so tense when I get down to my car that I'm trembling while I wipe the dew from my windshield. I adjust my mirrors and double-check everything in my Always Prepared tote bag--keys to this apartment plus the one I still have at school because I couldn't get out of my lease, two shades of lipstick, extra sunglasses, pressed powder, a tube of concealer, a book, a magazine in case I finish the book, a bagged lunch, salt and pepper in case there isn't any in the lunchroom, pepper spray, peppermints, a train schedule, a second train schedule, a third train schedule in case anything unfortunate happens to the first two train schedules, cream and black and neutral pantyhose, clear nail polish in case I run all three extra pairs, an umbrella, mittens in case of a cold snap, socks in case I lose the mittens, a sewing kit, Band-Aids, tampons, a pen, a pencil and a legal paid in case they don't have any in the office, a framed picture of my parents' dog Nixon because I love him, and one extra brass anchor button in case anything pops off my stupid navy suit. Okay, I'm ready."

Ok, this made me laugh so hard I started crying. I'm so glad I'm not 20 years old anymore! I can't believe I used to stash that much stuff in my work bag. Reading this made me think about my new job I'm starting soon and how 15 years ago I'd be worried sick if I had the "right" items in my Always Prepared tote. When I start the job in a few weeks, I'm planning to leave the house with my purse, any necessary paperwork, and that's about it.

Yes, sometimes it does feel good to be an adult!

This is Harder Than I Expected

bocabrunette@gmail.com (Missy) — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 23:02:00 +0000

A new job and moving out-of-state...easy-peasy, right? Well, this week has been a KILLER! I'm trying not to let all of the changes get the best of me, but man, it's really overwhelming.

House hunting Monday and Tuesday was EXHAUSTING. I'm usually a trooper but that early flight on Monday morning at 6:30, combined with non-stop action all day, followed by the same pace on Tuesday, wore us out. We managed to get stuck in Atlanta on the last leg of the flight back and we didn't get home Tuesday evening, or should I say Wednesday morning, until 2 a.m.

Thankfully we found a nearly brand-new single family home to rent about 20 minutes from my new job. I loved it from the moment I saw it, but then when I walked into the master bath and saw the soaking tub and double vanity sinks, I was sold. It's going to feel good to get a fresh start.

The downside is that we must sell our house in Florida. We met this week with a realtor {yet another overwhelming, mind-spinning experience} and wow, the news isn't good. The housing market here in Florida is particularly nasty and I could not believe the comparable sales in our neighborhood...essentially, the houses are selling for half of what we purchased our house for in 2006. It's unbelievable.

You know what I hate about this entire process? The decision-making. I am constantly questioning myself! Did I make the right decision? Are we doing the right thing? Little details like what day should the vehicle relocation company pick up and load our cars is driving me insane! What if the cars arrive early? Who will sign for them? If the house isn't ready by my start date at work, what are we going to do with our cats? What size pet carrier do we need for the airplane? On and on...it feels like it's never going to end.

I know it's going to get better. It's just getting through these next few weeks.

I'm trying.

Dear Blog, I Haven't Forgot About You

bocabrunette@gmail.com (Missy) — Sun, 31 May 2009 23:20:00 +0000

Life's been pretty wacky this past week. Lots of phone calls...the movers, the car relocation people, realtors, the relo company, my company, the HR lady...and on and on.

One thing's become clear: I really hate talking on the phone for extended periods of time.

In the midst of trying not too feel overwhelmed by all the changes that are about to occur, my laptop's keyboard went kaput.

I couldn't type a period. Instead, I would get the > symbol. If the Caps Lock was on, the keyboard would type in lowercase. At one point I realized I couldn't type any letters from the last row on the keyboard: z, x, c, v, b, n, and m. Talk about a dilemma. What to do?

I drove over to Best Buy--in a torrential downpour, I might add--to go see the Geek Squad. Before heading there I consulted with my husband..."What do you think, should I pay to have it fixed?" He's all, "Nah, just wear a low-cut top and just be your charming self, I'm sure one of those guys can help you for free." Yea......ok. Funny thing, I actually did change my top before I left the house.

Anyway, I ended up getting this girl, I think, who reminded me of the androgynous character "Pat" from that old Saturday Night Live skit...you know, "Is it a he or a she?" Well, I am pretty certain the Geek Squad Pat was a she, and wow, was she a real bitch. I asked her if she wouldn't mind taking a look at the keyboard and it was like someone told her to jump off a cliff. Alas, there would be no free service from the Geekers despite my cleavage attempts.

So then I came home and decided to call the Tech Support number listed on the underside of the laptop. What a novel idea. As I suspected, the laptop was no longer under warranty, and would I please press "1" to pay $59.99 for 30 minutes of support? Boo.

So I pressed "1" and talked to "Josh" about my keyboard situation. After 25 minutes of his diagnostics, including what seemed like 5 minutes of him talking to his manager while I was on mute, Josh the Tech Support dude tells me that I must have "gunk" under the keyboard and that I should go buy a "blow thing" to clean it.

Of course, I complained and asked to speak with a manager. I mean, I realize that they may not be able to resolve my problem but THAT'S THE BEST YOU'VE GOT, JOSH? What. Ev. er.

After walking around the house being a total Crab Monster and pouting, Jeff says all blase, like he's asking me to pass him a napkin, "Hey, why don't you just buy a wireless keyboard?"

DUH. What a brilliant idea.

I decided I absolutely could not go back to Best Buy for a second time in the same week. That place drives me nuts. So instead I go to Office Depot where I find a perfectly suitable keyboard and mouse for $30. Problem solved, or so I think....Yep, my laptop's definitely messed up. The new keyboard worked but oddly enough it replicated the same problems I had with the keyboard on the laptop. I decided it wasn't worth repairing.

I know, I've lost you. This is such a boring story. I'll wrap this up by saying that yes, I went out and bought a new laptop and stayed within a budget of $600 {you can really get a lot of laptop for $500-600 these days!}I wasn't exactly happy about it, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. {A sidenote: Why hasn't Apple created an easy solution to transfer your iTunes library on your old computer to your new computer??? I mean, really, Apple? Really?}

So now it's Sunday night and I am scurrying around our house trying to get packed for our house hunting trip up north. We leave EARLY tomorrow....6:30 a.m. out of Fort Lauderdale. This trip is do or die, people. I am crossing my fingers that we find something because there will not be an opportunity for a second house hunting trip.

And on that note, I would like to share with you what just happened: These people we sort of know stopped by to walk our next-door-neighbor's dog while she's gone. Jeff went outside to say hello and then came back in asking if I wouldn't mind doing them a favor by giving them a ROLL OF TOILET PAPER? WHAT THE FUCK? Yes, that was my exact reaction. I mean, who asks for a roll of toilet paper? You can't drive your ass to Publix or Walgreens?

Yes, I am very ready to move.

See ya later this week, my dears!