Oh the food! I worked really hard to eat my veggies (and pretty much nothing but veggies) for the days leading up to the trip, because I had plans to make my social time on Friday and Saturday all about delicious culinary adventures. I met an e-friend on Friday afternoon, another on Friday evening, another on Saturday morning, and the same friend from Friday night on Saturday afternoon along with another mutual friend we have. It was AWESOME. We ate at Doughnut Plant, Caracas, Eataly, Levain’s, and Sarabeth’s, all which I highly recommend if you are planning a trip to NYC.

Now that I’m back, I’m stuffed and bloated and thinking about what I would do differently. I would definitely eat at all of those places still, but I think if I could have a do-over, I would really focus on eating less at each location. I’m forever going to be fighting a tendency to binge because of the mindset that I get into which has a little voice screaming into my ear “YOU’RE NEVER GOING TO GET THIS EVER AGAIN!!!” That little voice is a liar, and I know that, but I’ve got to keep working to remember that in the moment.

One of the highlights of my trip was a 4-mile run through Central Park on Saturday morning. I was doing it on 5.5 hours of sleep and came so close to rolling over and going back to sleep for an hour. How often do you get to run next to a castle though? Central Park is magic.

Best nutrition choice of the last week:

Interestingly, my best nutrition choice has to do with cheesecake! I was going to cooking club, where I knew we would be sampling cheesecake (my favorite dessert). I asked in the Facebook group how much I should/could eat, and the vote was one bite. I had one bite and was perfectly satisfied. I must keep this in mind in the future!

Worst nutrition choice of the last week:

My worst choice revolves around dessert as well. I was walking home from some time down in the East Village and my feet were chapped and bleeding, badly in need of a shoe change. I stopped at Levain’s for some cookies to bring home to TH, and convinced myself I could eat one to help me make it through the 10 blocks I had left to walk. The first few bites were magnificent, but by the end I admit I was just kind of eating it because it was there and my feet hurt and I was tired. It didn’t really taste good anymore! Those cookies and are meant to be shared or eaten in stages I think.

Also:

• TWLC3 Week 1
• Announcing TWLC3
• Gearing up for TWLC3

A VALEDICTION: FORBIDDING MOURNING

by John Donne

As virtuous men pass mildly away,
And whisper to their souls to go,
Whilst some of their sad friends do say,
“Now his breath goes,” and some say, “No.”
So let us melt, and make no noise,
No tear-floods, nor sigh-tempests move ;
‘Twere profanation of our joys
To tell the laity our love.

Moving of th’ earth brings harms and fears ;
Men reckon what it did, and meant ;
But trepidation of the spheres,
Though greater far, is innocent.

Dull sublunary lovers’ love
—Whose soul is sense—cannot admit
Of absence, ’cause it doth remove
The thing which elemented it.

But we by a love so much refined,
That ourselves know not what it is,
Inter-assurèd of the mind,
Care less, eyes, lips and hands to miss.

Our two souls therefore, which are one,
Though I must go, endure not yet
A breach, but an expansion,
Like gold to aery thinness beat.

If they be two, they are two so
As stiff twin compasses are two ;
Thy soul, the fix’d foot, makes no show
To move, but doth, if th’ other do.

And though it in the centre sit,
Yet, when the other far doth roam,
It leans, and hearkens after it,
And grows erect, as that comes home.

Such wilt thou be to me, who must,
Like th’ other foot, obliquely run ;
Thy firmness makes my circle just,
And makes me end where I begun.

Still to Be Neat

by Ben Jonson
Still to be neat, still to be dressed,
As you were going to a feast;
Still to be powdered, still perfumed;
Lady, it is to be presumed,
Though art’s hid causes are not found,
All is not sweet, all is not sound.

Give me a look, give me a face,
That makes simplicity a grace;
Robes loosely flowing, hair as free;
Such sweet neglect more taketh me
Than all the adulteries of art.
They strike mine eyes, but not my heart.

On the Death of my First and Dearest Child, Hector Philips,
born the 23rd of April, and died the 2nd of May 1655.
Set by Mr. Lawes

by Katherine Philips
Twice forty months in wedlock I did stay,
Then had my vows crowned with a lovely boy.
And yet in forty days he dropped away;
O swift vicissitude of human joy!

I did but see him, and he disappeared,
I did but touch the rosebud, and it fell;
A sorrow unforeseen and scarcely feared,
So ill can mortals their afflictions spell.

And now (sweet babe) what can my trembling heart
Suggest to right my doleful fate or thee?
Tears are my muse, and sorrow all my art,
So piercing groans must be thy elegy.

Thus whilst no eye is witness of my moan,
I grieve thy loss (ah, boy too dear to live!)
And let the unconcerned world alone,
Who neither will, nor can refreshment give.

An offering too for thy sad tomb I have,
Too just a tribute to thy early hearse;
Receive these gasping numbers to thy grave,
The last of thy unhappy mother’s verse.

Also:

• The BBC 100 Books Meme
• Woolf Break

We’re starting our 5th week. The fervor is starting to wear off, the initial loss that comes with shocking your system with healthier choices is almost forgotten, and I know from the Facebook group that a lot of people are starting to get frustrated. Unfortunately I think that is a normal part of the process. I’m trying hard to put myself in a mindset that will help me push through. I finally saw the number 155 on the scale again, and I definitely can feel a difference in the way my jeans fit. No more buttoning them up and then stretching them up as high as possible to stuff my muffin top inside.

I’m trying really hard to focus my thoughts on the way I feel, not on what the scale says or how I look. On days where I eat 90% vegetables and very small amounts, I feel awesome. Depending where I am in my menstrual cycle my body seems to need really small amounts of food, and if I overindulge on carbohydrates or fats (cheese mostly) even by a little bit I wake up feeling it down deep in my stomach the next day. I need to keep focusing on how vibrant and alive I feel when I eat and exercise the right way for my body, and not get wrapped up in how slowly I feel like I’m seeing results, otherwise I resort to self-sabotage in some strange attempt at having a pity party for one that does nothing to make me feel better and only sets my progress back yet again.

This week I made my best and worst choices back to back, falling victim to one of my most common mindsets, that making Good Choice X means I can reward myself with Poor Choice Y (I’ve since realized that weight loss doesn’t work that way).

Best nutrition choice of the last week:

Went to book group and the host had set out watermelon, peas, peppers, fresh homemade bread, butter, apples, and caramel dip. I ate the veggies and fruit and successfully avoided the caramel dip and bread/butter. I felt great.

Worst nutrition choice of the last week:

Then I got home and decided I had “earned” the right to eat some bread cheese. I think a little bit would have been okay, but this portion you see here is half the package! I felt sick toward the end (but of course kept eating because it’s delicious and I didn’t want to waste it) and still felt it sitting heavy in my gut the next day.

Bread cheese is a really delicious cheese you can find at Green City Farmer’s Market in Chicago (I’ve seen it in Whole Foods too) that holds it’s shape when grilled/broiled/toasted, becoming crispy on the inside and gooey on the outside. If you can find it, try it. Mmmmmm.

Also:

• TWLC3 Week 4
• TWLC3 Week 3
• TWLC3 Week 1

This weekend was a tough one for me, and I knew it would be. Travelling and eating out are areas where I don’t usually excel when it comes to making good nutrition choices, and sadly this weekend was yet another instance where I came away with regrets (on the plus side, I think we may have found a house to rent just minutes away from TH’s office in Menlo Park!!!!). I posted in the Facebook group about some things I realized on the plane ride home.

1. When doing potlucks/buffets, especially when it’s with new friends/coworkers sampling and showing appreciate for the effort made is important, but I don’t need to fill my plate on the first trip. I can sample the things I’d like in small portions, and then go back for another round to put more small portions on my plate. Multiple trips will get embarrassing over time which should help me cut back. And I think keeping a drink in my hand could help me avoid dessert (no one would even notice if I didn’t have any!)
2. While reading the section in Utopia on pleasure I was struck by how easily More’s theories can translate to weight loss. It’s only true pleasure if it doesn’t cause me pain afterward.

I’m down about 3 pounds since the challenge started, which is 1 lb/week (these posts go up at the beginning of the week) but I’d ideally like that number to double. I feel really good about my eating overall though, and I actually feel fantastic. I’m running my half marathon two months from today (crazy!) and I’ve been working toward 10,000 steps/day along with strength training. I think the 6 weeks that I’m in Utah are going to be time when I see the most progress. I’ll have a fridge and kitchen all to myself, and I can keep them stocked exclusively with things I’d like to eat. I’m actually considering going full-out paleo during that time because my BFF Megan (among others) has enjoyed it and seen such great results. For now I’m going to keep muddling my way through a low-meat/low-carb/high-vegetable amalgamation I created. It makes me feel good and it’s something I can manage while feeding the husband and baby and trying to pack and finish school all at the same time.

Best nutrition choice of the last week:

Scrambled eggs, asparagus with a nutritional yeast pesto style sauce, and salad. Shared this with the baby and he loved it too!

Worst nutrition choice of the last week:

Fried soft shell crab (I really only picked at it, it wasn’t that great).

Actually this wasn’t the worst, but I didn’t take pictures through most of the weekend because it would have been awkward around so many new people. The worst choices were definitely made the day I ate a giant croissant, slice of quiche, asparagus smothered in hollandaise, salumi, fruit, and a  few Trader Joes whoppers all in about 15 minutes.

The winner of the April TWLC3 Google Doc drawing is… Amy! (Starting weight in the 150s, in case there are multiple Amy’s who might be thinking they won )
Send me an email Amy and I’ll hook you up with a $10 iTunes Gift Card.

Also:

• TWLC Week 5
• TWLC3 Week 3
• TWLC3 Week 1

Five years + three weeks ago, I said I wanted to be with you. Today is the anniversary of the day you said yes.

I love us. You’ll always be my favorite.

Also:

• Marriage and Mormonism
• The 3rd Anniversary
• Guiding Our Household to Better Eating

Dress: Gap
Jacket: Gap (thrifted)
Necklace: Sarah Briggs
Earrings: Sarah Briggs
Shoes: Vince Camuto

Also:

• Modesty and the Middle Class
• Style Files: Black Dress, Gray Tights
• Mini Style Files: The Hip Farmer

Every time we’ve visited Poland we have been treated to one of my favorite desserts (anywhere), a cake my husband’s family refers to as Krakow Cake. It’s a recipe developed a world away from anything we know now, with the absence of overpowering sweetness that we’ve come to expect in American desserts. After a big meal this moist and slightly tart (depending on the jam you use) cake can really hit the spot.

When we’re in Poland I can be found eating this cake several times a day. I admit it’s one of my favorite breakfast items. We can call it a breakfast pastry, right?

A big thank you to That Husband’s family for allowing me to share this recipe with all of you. If you try it I know they would love it if you would come back and share your thoughts with them in the comment section below.

Krakow Cake

Cake layers

450g white flour
50g white flour
150g sugar
150g butter
6 TBSP of milk
3 TBSP of honey
1 egg
1 TSP baking soda

Mix milk, butter, sugar and honey and slowly warm it up until it melts together. Turn off the heat and slowly add 450g of flour working to avoid create lumps (this can be done in a stand mixer).

Beat the egg, baking soda, and a TBSP of water together (with a fork). Add it to the dough above and continue stirring until it’s uniform, then set aside until it cools.

After it cools, knead the dough until it’s smooth, soft, flexible, and you can form a ball out of it. While kneading, you could add the additional 50g of flour if the dough is too sticky. Once the dough is ready, cover it with Saran wrap and let rest for 1 hour.

Take 3 sheets of wax paper a little larger than the baking sheets. After an hour, split the dough into three equal parts and roll it unto the paper using a roller. Bake each layer at 355 degrees for 10-15 minutes (until golden brown). After baking, the cake will be very hard. You can make the cake (put the cream and preserves in) either right after cooling or even after a couple of days.

Filling (pudding cream + preserves)

450g of preserves or jam (jam is sweeter, but you could use lemon juice to make it work)

3 + 1/3 cups of milk
½ cup of potato starch
¼ cup of white flour
¼ cup of sugar
Vanilla to taste
250g of butter

Mix the starch and flour together. Add it to 1 cup of cold milk and mix until there are no lumps. Heat up the rest of the milk and slowly pour the flour-milk mix into the hot milk while stirring. Let the mixture come to a boil, continually stirring so it doesn’t burn (it’s done when the top gets bubbly). Let the pudding cool, stirring occasionally so the top doesn’t develop a thick coat.

Make sure the butter is room temperature. Mix the butter and sugar together with a mixer. Once the mix is uniform, slowly add the pudding in, spoon by spoon, continually mixing until all pudding has been added.

Assembly

The order is: cake layer, preserves, cream, cake layer, preserves, cream, cake layer. Let sit for at least one day for the cake to soften. Keep refrigerated.

Also:

• 2010 in Review
• Poland 2011
• Nutty Cocoa Cookies

My in-laws have a gorgeous backyard filled with trees and bushes that were bursting with fruit when we were there. Pears, berries, apples. We missed the mini kiwis by only a few days!

T1′s grandparents on both sides spoil him shamelessly. On this visit to Poland he found a special chair in the kitchen where he could sit and drink his milk while watching Teletubbies (in Polish of course).

A favorite from the trip!

My father-in-law celebrated a birthday while we were there, and to celebrate we went to eat in a castle. A castle! Europe is so cool.

One of the old menus on the left, and my extravagantly arranged dinner plate on the right.

TH’s parents live within walking distance of the cemetery and we always take some time to visit.

I know it’s strange to take a picture of a garbage can, but I think it symbolizes the respect this little town has for their relatives who have passed on. Visits are made frequently and all of the graves are taken care of really well. Most of the flowers that you see as you walk through the rows are fresh (often purchased from the booths set up for that very purpose right outside the graveyard entrance).

TH’s childhood home.

Krakow cake! I’m sharing the recipe for this here on the blog tomorrow.

One evening That Husband and I went out for a photo walk, one of my favorite pastimes. I wanted to try to capture what his neighborhood is like. We left kind of late and it was getting dark, and I’d like to do it again next time and explore a little bit more.

Across the street from his house are some garden plots. Residents of the nearby area who live in apartment buildings rent them out so they can have a space to commune with nature. Some of them are really nice and even have little one-room houses.

The highlight of this Poland visit for me was the morning we woke up early and went mushroom hunting with my SIL and her husband. TH speaks so fondly of his time spent mushroom hunting as a child and I also think it’s pretty magical. You wake up early and drive out to the forest as the sun rises. Once you’re inside the canopy of trees it’s quiet, green and the light is to die for. I hope we’re able to go back again this year.

Everyone carries a plastic bag with them to fill with mushrooms. Unfortunately we all went home with bags that were still empty. Even though we were there just after sunrise I was told that someone had already been there before us collecting all the good mushrooms!

I spotted several different varieties, but they were all deemed poisonous by my guides.

TH did find one, which had already been ravaged by snail. We took it home as a token prize for our efforts.

Even though we didn’t find anything I still loved it and look forward to going back again!

On our way back to my SIL’s apartment we stopped at a small market to pick up some bread. I was fascinated by this little gathering of vendors because it’s not really something you see in the United States anymore. TH told me is a hold-over from Communism, when people couldn’t drive to a large market to buy the things they needed and did their shopping at neighborhood markets.

So that’s where all the mushrooms went!

See those tracks on the right? Why don’t we have those in the United States yet! Get with the program architects.

My SIL loves color and cats. I adore her.

That sausage in the lower-right hand corner of the frame is my favorite sausage in the world and my mouth is watering just thinking about it. It’s my BIL’s favorite too.

My BIL is a true renaissance man. He works with robots for his day job and then heads out into the wild on horseback on the weekends and for holidays. This last trip he was wearing a big cast after severing his hand while chopping wood.

The last thing we did on our trip was a round of family pictures with TH’s family. Getting myself ready and also being the one to photograph the session was kind of stressful, but they’re beautiful and I’m so happy everyone was willing to gather at my request. Thanks to TH’s cousin for stepping up and taking all of the pictures that I’m in!

Hard to believe, but we only have about 100 days and we’ll be back in Poland for our 2012 trip. We love you K, J, Z, K, and the rest of the family. See you soon!

Also:

• Italy Panoramas
• Polish Wedding Traditions Video
• Europe 2010: Pt IX

On your birthday we called your grandparents and they asked us what the schedule was for the day. “Um, I think we’re going to go to Costco?” It was a little bit confusing for them that we weren’t celebrating your birthday on the anniversary of your birth, or even the same weekend, but we’re a pragmatic sort of family (you’ll understand soon enough) and so we picked the best date in April and planned from there. Celebrating your birthday 16 days after your birth date meant that we were able to celebrate stress-free, instead of trying to cram everything around other events. It was a rare weekend where we spent the majority of our time together as a family and it was a beautiful. I don’t know how we’re going to make this work next year when dad is working so much, but I think with some early planning we can make it happen.

You actually started the day in the middle of the night. Your diaper was dirty (a rare nighttime occurrence these days) and after we teamed up to change you we decided to bring you into our bed and see if you’d like to sleep with us. You snuggled up in the middle of the bed and then… then you just stared at us for over two hours. Every time either of us would wake and look over at you, you’d be staring at the other parent. It was sweet. Your dad finally decided to put you to bed when he woke up to your little hand caressing his back so softly. Co-sleeping just isn’t your thing, though that doesn’t mean we won’t keep trying every so often.

After a night like that you slept all the way until 10:00 am. I was making lemon poppyseed pancakes with strawberries and whipped cream and while I finished up you watched some Disney cartoons in Polish. T1 Day means you get what you want when you want! (Within reason of course.)

This is a frequent stance for you. Frustrated face, finger pointing where you’d like me to go. You’re so bossy sometimes!

After breakfast we changed and went downstairs to swim with our best friends. You were in the pool by the time I got downstairs with your present and didn’t seem interested in getting out so your friends dove right in and opened it for you.

Water wings and a floaty! You didn’t like either and preferred to be in our arms or standing next to us on the stairs.

Favorite picture of the day! You love your dad SO much and want to spend as much time with him as you possibly can.

You playing with your best friend. We’re going to miss these guys so much when we move. *tear*

After showers and a change of clothes we turned on some POGO and danced around the house while we got everything ready for your friends to come over and play.

While waiting for everyone to arrive we played with some playdough and listened to Elizabeth Mitchell.

Once your best friend was up from his nap it was time for THE BALLOON ROOM. We cleared out our bedroom, lined the bed with pillows and blankets, and covered the bed with balloons. You guys had so much fun!

It’s hard being the third child, you know?

Love you little one.
I really wanted to get a family picture in the balloons, but by the time I thought to take it you were D-O-N-E. I was sad.

Your friends had to go, but we convinced them to stay long enough to eat some chocolate covered banana bites.

As we sang you reached forward, and I thought you were going to touch the flame.

Nope, you wanted to start eating! That’s my boy.

We did grab one picture of the three of us before your friends left. Thanks Kelty!

After everyone left you were exhausted and took a long nap. I made chicken, potatoes and carrots, asparagus, and macaroni and cheese for dinner and then we called my parents while you opened a few more presents (I knew I did a good job buying your toys when you opened the first one and didn’t even want to open the second because you were so excited about your pita pocket game!)

We ended the night stretched out in the living room, playing on the ipad and exhausted after a long day. I’m already looking forward to planning your third birthday though. T1 Day is one of my favorite days of the entire year!

Also:

• Christmas 2010
• 2010 in Review
• Santa Baby

Argh! Having a baby really messes with my intake for the day. Not only do I have to feed him all sorts of things that I can’t/don’t want to eat myself (bread mainly) but I’m constantly fighting this mindset that I need to finish off his plate or else it will ‘go to waste”. I really hate food waste, and try to throw away as little as possible, and I am always eating whatever he doesn’t eat. I give him one of those Baybel cheese round things and he just wants to peel it open and throw the cheese on the ground, so I eat the cheese. I give him a banana and he just wants to peel it and take one bite, so I finish the banana. I’m treating myself like we used to treat our dogs, feeding myself the leftovers after dinner!

One thing that I realized wasn’t clear after reading the replies on the thread is that T1 isn’t a picky eater (quite the opposite actually, he’s the least picky toddler I’ve ever seen), he’s just two. He likes opening a banana because it’s fun, and peeling wax off a piece of cheese is more exciting than actually eating it (I think I wouldn’t be so overweight if that were my problem!). The suggestions on the thread were so helpful that I wanted to share them here in case others are struggling with the same thing!

• Chew a piece of gum when I am feeding him
• When he opens a banana and eats just a bite, put the rest in the freezer for spinach smoothies. When he throws the cheese on the ground without eating it, grab it and put it in a baggie in the fridge so he can finish it the next day. Leftover piece of bread that’s largely untouched? Make breadcrumbs with it!
• Give him something super messy along with the rest of his food. Yogurt, sauce, cup of water. He will make a mess as he eats and everything on the tray will then be unappetizing. There’ll be no more temptation to snack on his leftover soggy bread covered in yogurt and peas.
• Start composting (I hope to start doing this in California!)

Feeding him exactly what I eat all the time just isn’t feasible (kids and husbands need rice/potatoes/beans/bread/etc, which are things I’m trying to severely limit). I think some of these strategies are the key to kicking my nasty snacking-on-leftovers-like-the-family-dog habit for good.

Best nutrition choice of the last week:

It’s time to start keeping mixed greens stocked in the house at all times. I love this salad with my homemade poppyseed dressing, goat cheese, and mixed nuts.

Worst nutrition choice of the last week:

I made lemon poppyseed pancakes with white flour, accompanied by powdered sugar filled whipped cream and agave sweetened strawberries for T1 Day on Saturday. My original goal was to eat one or two and then have a spinach shake but then we started eating and it was so good…

Also:

• TWLC Week 5
• TWLC3 Week 4
• TWLC3 Week 1

They aren’t really cookies in the traditional sense, but let’s not dwell on that fact okay? I need to feel like my diet doesn’t feel like deprivation, and you can’t feel deprived when you are eating cookies. Right?

These are adapted from a four ingredient recipe I found at Whole Family Fare. My recipe has six ingredients because I added cocoa and salt.

First, whir your almonds around in the food processor until they are are ground up. I know they’re done when they just start to get moist (you want them to be ground really fine or it affects the texture of the cookie and isn’t as good).

That right there is my Blendtec with the Twister Jar attachment.  I personally like my Blendtec a lot more than the Vitamix (which my mom has) but I think either is a great choice.

Add in cocoa, vanilla, peanut butter, and salt. Blend a bit more. If your peanut butter is dry (ours is the natural kind and when TH mixed it up he added extra oil and made it really soupy) add coconut oil. You’ll definitely need coconut oil if you grind your peanuts from scratch (if you do that, grind your peanuts first, remove from the processor, then do the almonds).

The last thing I add is the dates. I like adding them last because sometimes they don’t get ground up all the way and then you get nice juicy date bits in your cookie balls. Find the medjool variety if you can. They cost more but all the foodies say it’s worth it.

Once it’s all ground together you should have a mass that looks a little bit like this. If yours is looking dry, add some coconut oil or peanut butter.

The last thing I do is roll them into little balls. This takes forever, close to an hour for the last batch, but I think it’s worth the effort. I buy dried apricots from costco, halve them, and freeze the Nutty Cocoa Cookies with the dried apricots. Eat them together like a sandwich and you’ll be throwing all of your Nabisco cookies in the trash because you won’t need them anymore. These balls of rich chocolatey goodness really hit the spot.

My attempt at food styling. I need to do a workshop or something.

Nutty Cocoa Cookies

Ingredients

1 cup almonds
1/4 cup cocoa
1.5 tsp vanilla
6 heaping tablespoons peanut butter
1/4 tsp salt (avoid if your peanut butter is salted)
5-8 dates (depending on the amount of sweetness you want)

Instructions

1. Grind almonds in food processor until very fine.
2. Add cocoa, vanilla, peanut butter, and salt. Blend.
3. Add dates. Blend until uniform.
4. Roll mixture into balls about the size of the tip of your thumb. Put into container with dried apricot halves. Freeze.

Also:

• Recipe Posting Etiquette
• That Food Diary
• Spinach Pizza, Strawberry/Walnut Pizza, Baklava

I went out and took two year pictures of T1 last week. The light was great right up until we got outside and started shooting (of course) so I think I’m going to give it another try, in the same spot where we did the first portion of our family pictures. Wrangling a two year old all by yourself can be tough, but I like that doing it solo means the majority of pictures are more photo-journalistic than they might be otherwise. He is free to run and dig and play and I scurry all over the place trying to catch him in action. I want the pictures to reflect what he is really like at this age (busy, happy, independent).

On Saturday I photographed a wedding, my second and sadly last one this year. Photography businesses are built on referrals, and it’s hard to grow and build a client base when you are moving as often we have. Not to mention a summer schedule like mine, where in a 14 week period I will go from Chicago to Washington to Provo to San Francisco to Poland to San Francisco to Thailand and back to San Francisco again. Of course I want all of these things to happen, but I like weddings and I like photography and I would love to be doing more of it. I’m working hard to accept that I can only do so much at one time. Know anyone getting married in July in Utah that needs a wedding photographer? I’m game.

This school quarter has been the toughest one yet for us. TH is gone for long hours (he works really hard and I love him for that) and it’s just not possible to do all I have on my plate caring exclusively for a toddler while remaining sane and a nice person to be around. We had a babysitter while I was finishing my stats class, but she isn’t available anymore. One of my friends in the building had a sister move in for the next 6 weeks (exactly the amount of time I need help for) and we worked a schedule for her to watch T1 a few hours each day. I’ve heard moms who work outside of the home talk about how the time away from their kids makes them a better parent, and I finally get what they are saying. Instead of feeling desperate about the amount of stuff I have to do, trying to squeeze it all in before he wakes up in the morning, during his nap, or when he goes to bed, I can relax and enjoy my time with him. He comes home from the sitter, eats lunch, naps, I make dinner, and then we play together! My mind isn’t wandering to my email inbox or my pictures or blog posts I want to write or studying to do because I already did those things. And when husband comes home from school at 9 or 10 at night I can actually spend some time with him instead of shooing him away telling him that the baby is sleeping and I have to be on the computer. Childcare assistance is my friend.

Speaking of studying, I haven’t made much progress on my second (and final) online class. I think I’m about 1/4 of the way through, but I’ve got an entire wedding to edit, and several photography sessions scheduled before we leave. I just need to buckle down and get to it! The English classes are much quicker and easier for me than the Statistics class was.

I have two big trips planned in the month of May. We’re headed to San Francisco on a house hunting trip the first weekend of May (our coupleversary weekend ), and I’m looking forward to seeing the neighborhoods in person and possibly finding a place to rent. I’m still holding out for a house, but there is a possibility we will end up in an apartment complex or condo situation again. Just give me a dishwasher and washer/dryer at least! The second trip is over the weekend of May 19th. I’m headed to New York for some photography sessions in the city. Anyone interested in doing a session with me on the morning of the 19th? Otherwise I’m planning to explore the city and eat at as many places as I possibly can.

Other than not having nearly enough time with my husband, things have been really good lately. I’m spending a lot of time thinking and reinventing and changing. There is a part of me that wants to tell you all everything about it, but it’s not a good choice for several reasons I won’t get into here. I am grateful for blogging and the people I have met online who have pushed me to grow and think about things in new and different ways. I look forward to sharing more with you when I feel it’s appropriate.

And one more from our family picture session because I love them so.

Also:

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I hit my perfect adult weight according to the charts and graphs in 8th grade. By high school graduation I was closing in on 200 lbs. I continued to gain weight until I exceeded 400 lbs in July of 2011. Only twice did I really try to diet and I lost a few pounds but they came back on over time. Last year I decided that I was not living the life I wanted. I did nothing on weekends because I needed to sleep. I was miserable and my work was suffering. I decided that it was time. It is not that I did not know what I needed to do. I have a degree in Human Nutrition (Yeah, that is embarrassing to admit.)

I read a couple of books Food: The Good Girl’s Drug: How to Stop Using Food to Control Your Feelings bySunny Sea Gold and The Small Change Diet: 10 Steps to a Thinner, Healthier You by Keri Gans . I started to apply the principles in these books and cleaned out the kitchen. This was not a diet this is a lifestyle change. I found mynetdiary.com and started logging what I ate. I like the calculators in mynetdiary and the recipe builder. Logging intake has been critical to me. If I have a bad food day I log it. If I eat it I log it. I have to be honest and accountable to myself at the end of the day. I started making a salad everyday for lunch. (I fill up 2 relish trays every Sunday with chopped vegetables). I have a job in the food industry so I have to taste products throughout the day.

I bought a basic treadmill that would handle my weight and started walking. It took me a few weeks to be able to walk a mile in 35 minutes. I got a Fitbit. I love my Fitbit it is with me 24/7. I needed an activity gauge so I know I am getting enough movement in my day. My days are variable at work so I can walk 2,000 to 10,000 steps depending on the day. I am trying to hit 10,000 steps a day. During TWLC2 I walked 227 miles on the treadmill.

I was on a secret mission for the first 4 months and no one really noticed or commented. I had been stalking That Wife and knew another TWLC was going to start. I decided that I would join to get some motivation and to boost my accountability. I joined twitter and facebook to have more interactions. This was key to my continued success. I had lost just over 50 lbs when TWLC2 started and hoped to knock off another 50 during it. Well I managed to do slightly better with a 58lb loss. I am not even halfway done with my weight loss but TWLC2 helped with that first 100.

By December the secret mission part was over and I had to admit to working on losing weight. I was surprised by the mental part of the journey at this point it was good to have the TWLC facebook group and twitter to see that others were struggling too. Knowing this was a long project I started a 101 in 1001 list setup to follow on this journey. I also decided on some big rewards that should be part of the 101. I have a chart with rewards for hitting goals. I included every 10% of what I want to lose, every 100 miles on the treadmill, every million fitbit steps, and every stone lost (14 lbs.). I have found that moving ping pong balls from the need to lose to have lost jar is pretty rewarding.

I have gone through a lot of pants sizes from 32 to 20. The Salvation Army is loving my donations, which includes 14 garbage bags so far. I am limiting my pants to 2-3 pairs in a size but that adds up to a lot of laundry. My size 4x lab coast would not snap last July now it overlaps about 8 inches.

I am grateful that I have a support system online and IRL that is there for me when I hit a rough spot. I know that this first 100 was hard in the getting started and committing but easy in the shock to the system. The next 100 will be harder and the last 50 or so will be killer. I do not know where my happy weight will be, but I will be much healthier and I am already happier.

It was great to run up and down the soccer field with my friends kids at Easter. Last year we walked around the block and I was dying. I am looking forward to TWLC3.

In her lab coat that previously wouldn’t even snap around her!

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Thanks so much Aims! I feel really inspired by your story and I know others will as well. Will you guys leave her some love down below? Three cheers for Aims!

I’m still waiting for some people to respond to my email asking for permission to show their photos from TWLC2. Once I have those I can assemble a post showing you the phenomenal progress that a half dozen women made from October to April of this past year. I have even higher hopes for this next round! (I weighed in at 155.8 this week, hooray!)

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While she was here, she did our family pictures! I’m really excited with how they turned out.

The first half of the session was very short, done in the freezing cold wind just a few blocks from our apartment.

The second half was in our bedroom. We did puzzles, read books, jumped on the bed, and snuggled and laughed a whole lot.

Thanks so much Aunt Kelli! You take such good care of us and we love you.

It’s going to take me some time to get through all of them, but I’m really excited to share with all of you.

Also:

• Happy Birthday Sister!
• Washington and the Chickens
• For You, On Your Birthday

I decided to start a new feature in these posts, featuring two pictures from my food blog.

Best food choice I made this week:

I love both of these dishes and hope to eat them regularly. The asparagus salad is an adapted version of this one from 101 Cookbooks, using basil instead of cilantro and adding in nutritional yeast to give it a cheesy taste. The one in the foreground is a celery, dill, and apple salad similar to this one.

Worst food choice I made this week:

I was trying really hard to limit my carbohydrates, and I’d like to completely eliminate the processed white variety (barring dessert 1x/week). We were out and about and I waited far too long to eat and I chose to snack on some of these.

Tell me about your first week of TWLC3.

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sharing a bedroom. pigs. swimming pool in the backyard. BYU. Seattle. matching dresses. baths in the puke green tub. boating. sledding. pumpkin patch. piano lessons. voice lessons. football games. Disneyworld. Hawaii. London. California. dancing. the ranch. modeling for mom. clogging. everything in our closets.

We’ve shared so many things. I love you.

Also:

• Family Pictures Teaser
• Washington and the Chickens
• For You, On Your Birthday

See you on Monday!

I rented the 5D Mark III for the wedding this weekend and took it out last night for a test-run session with T1 for his two year pictures. Wow! I’m in love.

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mind the gap

Looks like undershirts are one of my “things”. Or clothes designed specifically for well-endowed women. What brand does that? This dress is from Target. I do like my bright pink tights, school girl heels, and aqua bracelet though. Next time I wear the dress, it’s going to be unbuttoned (since another breast reduction doesn’t seem likely).

Also:

• Shooting Style (Vested)
• YFashion
• Fashionably Modest: Black and Red (and a Seersucker Baby)

We ate breakfast together, something we almost never do, and certainly not on Sunday mornings (we’re always running late and feeling harried about church). I bought my favorite sausage at the farmer’s market and ate cheesy eggs.

I wore my new dress from TH (it’s from Kohl’s and I’ll have a Style Files post about it up soon!)

We were going to walk to church but it was windy and my skirt was blowing up like crazy, but I was able to walk home with camera in hand and take some pictures of the neighborhood between church and our apartment. I love one of the streets in particular and we might take some family pictures there. The house on the left is for sale, will one of you please buy it?

Hello little bird!

We spent the rest of the afternoon party prepping which for me included arranging cheese and making chocolate ganache. I like that kind of prep work.

We started the party with some guitar playing and dancing.

And then it was time to eat! I was so happy with how everything came together. I bought some flowers at the farmer’s market and picked up almonds, crackers, grapes, and a variety of cheese at Whole Foods.

5 minutes before everyone arrived I put together these slips with names and pictures to help people know what they were eating. You are also supposed to arrange your cheese from mildest to most pungent so that guests don’t taste the blue cheese first and have their tastebuds overwhelmed.

The highlight of the night was the (nearly) flourless chocolate ganache cake. I plan on posting the recipe here soon because it’s the kind of thing that makes you feel like you’re eating at a fancy restaurant.

Total we had 8 adults and5 kids. It was sufficiently crazy.

I like that we’re all wearing blue. I did not plan this.

Isn’t having happy birthday sung to you simultaneously embarrassing and mortifying? What am I supposed to do while the singing is happening?

The version they sang had guitar accompaniment and was faster and much more fun to sing than the slower version I’m used to.

Does your family use the You Are Special Today plate? It’s so fun to bring it out and hear how your friends used it in their family growing up.

After putting ourselves in a bit of a sugar coma with the chocolate cake we broke out the Playstation and did some American Idol karaoke revolution. We used to play karaoke revolution on a weekly, if not nightly, basis in college and it made me so happy to have friends willing to look like fools scream-singing to Total Eclipse of the Heart with me.

While we acted like college kids, our babies tried to figure out why no one was paying attention to them (and apparently plugged their ears like the little girl on the right). Every so often you need to have some time for yourself though, you know?

I don’t want to leave this group of friends. We are really going to miss them. Thanks for giving me a fabulous time on my birthday!

Today I’m doing a portrait session with T1 (my first ever, how sad is that?), and next weekend we are having T1 day. We’re going to have a pool party and go to the park and eat his favorite things and do everything he likes to do all day. I’m not sure if I’ll make him a cake this year, or just dress up some fruit again (might as well take advantage of him not being able to ask for dessert yet!) but whatever we do, I know it’s going to be just as fun as TW day. I’ll always be sad that TH doesn’t want a day devoted to him as well…

Thanks for all of your birthday wishes! I’m officially sad I only get to have a birthday once a year.

Also:

• T1 Day v2
• Happy 27th To Me!
• Christmas Card 2011

I already mentioned that I’m setting up a little challenge for myself. If I do the following things, perfectly, I get to train with my best friend at the gym she works at in Provo this summer. If I don’t do them, the training is not an option. I feel confident that I can do all of these things.

1. Run 3x/week
Shouldn’t be hard to do with my half-marathon training.

2. Strength or cross-train 2x /week
I’m going to try out P90X (a friend loaned me a DVD to try it out), and I’ll also keep using Ripped in 30 as well.

3. Three carb free days/week
My own personal definition of this is a day where I have no rice, no bread, no tortillas, no quinoa. Minimal lentils and beans. What I really want to get out of this is three days where I eat vegetables, fruit, nuts, and a little dairy to keep me sane (maybe some meat if I happen to have some, and I’m also allowed to eat these vegan veggie patties from Costco that I keep in the freezer, even if it does have some sort of flour in it).

4. Dessert 1x/week
Once a month is too restrictive. But I am going to start turning down dessert, because dessert is always there. It’s always coming at me, and I’ve got to remember that turning down this cupcake doesn’t mean I never get to have a cupcake ever again.

5. Unlimited fruits and vegetables
Heavy emphasis on the vegetables of course.

6. Weigh all cheese
Doing low-carb and low-meat makes me love dairy like I never have before. It provides the satisfaction I need to stay happy (I don’t know how raw food vegans do it) and is a quick snack to grab when I”m preparing my vegetables. Therein lies the problem, I snack and fill up on it and feel sick! So I’m going to give this “weighing” idea a try to see if it helps me cut back.

7. Zero white flour
Excluding dessert once a week. If I want a croissant made with white flour I guess that will be my once-a-week dessert treat.

What are your goals for TWLC3? Writing them down is necessary, but sharing them publicly is even better. You can see my goals from TWLC2 here. I failed pretty badly, and my new goals reflect that, but what matters most is tomorrow, and the next day, and the next. Yesterday can’t be changed.

We’re going to do this!

*Conditional on everyone who signed up sending in their payments when I ask for them within the next two weeks.

Also:

• Announcing TWLC3
• TWLC3 Week 6
• TWLC Week 5