After our excellent breakfast at our Bologna hotel, this one was extremely disappointing. The croissants were soggy, the granola was bland, and I poked a bit sadly at my scrambled eggs wishing for my celery+brie+walnuts combination I had been enjoying the last few days.

The view from our room was fantastic. I think my favorite part about this location was that I could go out for runs (I did two, they were dreamy) and easily find my way back again. If we had been staying in a little out of the way place, I would have easily become lost on the winding random streets of Florence.

I liked our private balcony, but I admit I was also a little afraid that some of our rather loud neighbors were going to start hopping between balconies and check a glimpse of me naked or something. This, as far as I know, did not happen.

Also:

• Florence: What We Did
• Bologna: What We Ate
• Bologna: Where We Stayed

I admit I put off this review for a long time, because I wasn’t sure what to say. I mean, I didn’t dislike the product. I particularly enjoyed the smell, and liked the consistency (neither runny nor goopy). I felt like it created a good base for my makeup.

At $20 for a bottle smaller than the palm of my hand though, I don’t think it’s something I would buy in the future. To be honest, ever since it ran out I’ve been using a little bottle of apricot baby oil after my shower and I much prefer how smooth and soft that makes my skin feel.

If things like paraben-free, cruelty-free, fair-trade, or dairy/wheat/gluten/sodium/yeast/preservative free are important to you, the products from Sibu might be something to try. For now, I’m going to stick with swiping T1′s baby oil.

But… because I felt weird writing this review and not doing a giveaway (not like they are required as pairs, but still), I have a little something to offer you from our last trip to Poland! I picked up similar versions of these earrings in the center of Krakow, and thought it would be fun to bring some home to give two some of you as well.

You can win either this brown pair

Or this pair with flowers painted on

a Rafflecopter giveaway

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Also:

• No Related Post

Part of the festivities happening at this party will be a Valentine’s Day Dessert Contest, and I have decided I’d like to win. I recently picked up some silicone heart molds, and that has to be a good start, right? The rules for this contest are that your offering needs to be red or pink in some way. It also needs to be something that’s good for a group, so no individual cheesecakes (as cute as they may be).

Here’s what I dug up on Pinterest.

Chocolate Beet Cake with Beet Cream Cheese Frosting

Maybe I could even make the beet cake in the shape of a heart?

Banana-Split Ice Cream Torte

Chocolate Raspberry Truffle Layer Cake

Whole-Wheat Chocolate Cake with Easy Whipped Cream Frosting

Cherry Blossom Strawberry Cheesecake

Red Velvet Cheesecake

POM Cupcakes

And maybe I could make the cupcakes heart shaped using the marble trick?

Cranberry Bliss Bars

Cheesecake Stuffed Strawberries

White Chocolate Cherry Shortbread

Russian Fruit Cake

 What do you think? Which one will help me take first prize (which is probably a chocolate bar or something ).

Also:

• Caramel Apple Cake
• Gluten-free Granola
• Raw Chocolate Brownies with No Added Sugar

The blade on this knife is white, almost translucent on the edges, because it’s made of zirconia. Fun fact: zirconia is the second hardest material we know of next to diamonds, and it happens to be the stone I considered having my engagement ring fashioned out of (then we found an antique one that I loved so I didn’t go with the zirconia). My favorite part about the zirconia is that it goes much longer without needing to be sharpened. I’m horrible about sharpening my chef’s knife, to the point that it can become a little bit dangerous.

I wanted this knife for two very specific things. First, for maneuvers like slicing the tops off of bell peppers where the chef’s knife was big and awkward to maneuver. Second for slicing tomatoes, because my chef’s knife won’t do the trick and my other knives are part of a $40 block from Wal-mart. The Shenzhen does eactly what I was hoping. The marketing material says this knife is for “precision cutting tasks” and that is just what I needed.

You need to know, that you have to be careful with this blade. You can’t smash garlic with it (the blade is sharp but brittle), cut frozen items, or other heavy duty tasks. A good chef’s knife will still be essential. I also don’t really like the plastic handle, but I understand it keeps costs down and I appreciate that. The last drawback is that you have to go out of your way to figure out how to sharpen it eventually, which has to be done using a diamond wheel.

Overally I’m very happy with the knife, and have found a reason to use it almost everyday since I received it. Would you like to win one and try it out for yourself?

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Also:

• No Related Post

This go-around was a bit or a surprise. I thought I had worked everything out with the BYU counselor I conversed with back in August, but she failed to mention that I couldn’t just go back to BYU (silly me). After being gone for almost 4 years I had to reapply. This I discovered when I woke up at 1:00 am to grab spots in my Summer term classes, and was told that I couldn’t register and needed to contact admissions. The next morning I was shocked when I was told that I needed to fill out a new application and go through the acceptance process once again. I scrambled to get in touch with two different ecclesiastical leaders, and feel lucky that I was able to get it all in before the deadline (yesterday, February 1st).

Now, I wait 3-4 weeks and hold my breath, hoping that everything I’ve been working toward will go as smoothly as it has in the past. If they reject me, I plan to petition, and I think I have a good case so right now I’m planning to return in June and walk in August.

Yesterday I also took my first Statistics midterm. I never feel good after tests, and I’m a notoriously poor test-taker, but I’m proud that I made it from starting the class to the first midterm in less than 10 days. If I work fast, I may be able to take the next one next week as well. I actually kind of like the class, but I’m very much looking forward to the day when school is behind me and life doesn’t have to be a constant stream of “Honey, you’re home? Okay, I’m going to lock myself in the office now,” and “Can’t talk right now, the baby is sleeping and I need to do be working on my math.”

T1 last night. 2012 is going to be my year for seamless flash experiences at weddings and portrait sessions, so help me Saint Veronica. My goal is to set up everything 10x in a row, with no issues. Those killer cake cutting photos will be MINE. I’m having issues with my CyberSyncs, and so I think I’ll move back to my PocketWizards. Any CyberSync experts reading and want to help me troubleshoot my issues?

Also:

• Brain Dump
• The Awakening: R Rated Movies
• 2011 in Review

To understand this next shift, I think you have to take a moment to try to understand where I was coming from. Raised as a member of the LDS Church I understood that the living Prophet was God’s literal mouthpiece on the earth. Whatever the prophet said in an official capacity it was as though God Himself was right there letting me know what He wants for all of us. At least that’s how I interpreted things. Throughout this period of Awakening, I have realized that I am no longer interested in just accepting what I am told, I want to figure out for myself why the advice in question is right/wrong/best for me/best for everyone.

Lately That Husband has been pointing out some of my tendencies toward being a martyr. I would think, “We should move to Poland!” Why? Because maybe God wants/needs us to build up the Church there. Living in Poland would be difficult due to language and cultural barriers, but by golly, we would be able to serve as the bishop and relief society president and provide an example to the new converts of what a happy little Mormon family is like (no matter that it would mean never seeing my husband between his work and church responsibilities). In some weird way I felt that the only way to please God was to suffer a little bit. The natural man is an enemy to God, and so I needed to put my own desires aside, look toward  the men who lead the Church, and let them tell me how to deepen my relationship with my own Father in Heaven.

What I didn’t understand until recently is that the leadership of the Church can do no more than teach general principles. With a membership that numbers in the millions, filled with members from Japan, Poland, Africa,  Brazil,  Utah all looking to the same handful of men to tell them how to fit the Gospel of Jesus Christ into their culture and lifestyle. One of those leaders, Elder Oaks, once said:

“As a General Authority, it is my responsibility to preach general principles. When I do, I don’t try to define all the exceptions. There are exceptions to some rules. For example, we believe the commandment is not violated by killing pursuant to a lawful order in an armed conflict. But don’t ask me to give an opinion on your exception. I only teach the general rules. Whether an exception applies to you is your responsibility. You must work that out individually between you and the Lord.”

I wrote a post about one of these general principles titled Mothers Working Outside the Home and made a lot of people really angry. As I said before, this was not my intention. I needed to believe that this was the key to being what God wanted me to be, because then the sacrifice of myself would be worth it. It was a topic that kept coming up, and I wanted to explain my perspective on what I considered LDS doctrine to be on the subject. I think this sentence from my previous post is key:

I try to seek out the teachings that I believe came from God and apply them in my own life

I was seeking, but I wasn’t asking. I looked at the source (church leaders) and then tried my best to fit the idea into my life, because I was *going to be obedient*. It’s that martyr thing popping up again. It didn’t matter if I enjoyed staying home, or if I’m the best at it, I would force myself to work harder every day to make it work because that’s what we’ve been told to do.

But as I started questioning things, I started thinking about the reasons behind telling women they had to stay at home. It could be that women should stay home because they know and love their own children best and would be able to best judge what their children need. This certainly feels right to me, but from my own experience I realized that knowing what he needs most, and actually being able to provide that for him consistently are two seperate things (we’ll get into that more in a moment). Mentions have also been made about women taking time to talk about Jesus Christ with their children throughout the day, and so it seems to me that some might have been hoping that evangelical work would be done more often between parents and children. These statements about women staying home first started popping up decades ago, when there wasn’t the same professional childcare structure that we have today. As the men who are now our leaders at the highest level were raised up in the church, they would have heard those statements, they would have enjoyed the time spent at home with their mothers, and it stands to reason that they would have over time developed the opinion that women should stay home and raise children just like their own mothers did (because look at how they turned out after all). But at what cost to the mothers? Science today tells us that there is not right way for everyone to do it, that decisions should be made based on the individual child/parent situation.

This is the point in the post where I, as a mother, get real. I love my son, as he is a part of me. It’s biological, emotional, and spiritual. There are moments throughout the day when I pull him in close and feel the desire to never let go, smothering him with kisses and telling him how beautiful and wonderful he is to me. Sometimes when we are headed to the elevator I will run ahead, push the button, bend down and open my arms. He picks up speed and throws his own arms open, running full speed into me and that moment of impact is full of some of the most pure joy I have ever felt. Overall though, I’m not a baby mom. I have realized over time, that this is something you are never, ever supposed to say out loud. For babies/young children are perfect, precious, helpless, and I am never to question how lucky I am. I must Carpe Diem every moment with my, because when I am old I will sit around filled with regret that I don’t have a tiny human dependent on me for everything except breathing.

I read about a lot of women on blogs who I would classify as baby moms. They talk about how they want to do nothing but hold their new baby all day long, how they derive so much pleasure from coming up with games and new ways to interact with their toddler. I certainly enjoy both of those things, but not for 10-12 hours a day (go Mrs. Yoyo for admitting she sometimes feels drained after full days with her baby). My friend leaves her apartment a minimum of twice a day for museum trips, swimming, free classes and other adventures. Just the thought of doing that leaves me feeling overwhelmed and frustrated. How can you possibly keep up the house, cook all the meals, finish all of your goals for the day when you do those things? There are people out there running programs filled with employees who want to do nothing but those things with their charges. It’s so freeing to think that I can spend my time capitalizing on my strengths, while giving my child the opportunity to spend time with someone who is capitalizing on theirs. I’m not saying I want to outsource my childcare the moment they are out of the womb, but I am now allowing myself the option to think about full or part-time options for T1 and his siblings before they reach five and enter kindergarten. I have pondered how a social environment might help T1 with his speech delays, but I thought I had to figure out a way to force myself to make that sort of thing happen myself. Now I can look at each child individually and determine what would best meet their unique needs.

In recent years we as LDS members have been told both that women need to try to stay home, and that women need to get an education. When it came to that contradiction, I preferred to bury my head in the sand. Does education mean an associate’s degree? Bachelor’s? Master’s? What about women who spend over a decade in higher education earning a PhD, are they then supposed to just lay that aside and care for their brood for the next decade or so until the children are all old enough to be in school all day? I didn’t have to worry about it because I had no intention of pursuing any formal education past what I already had. Those other women could just work it out on their own while I forced myself to do what God had told someone else that I should do.  It was only a few months ago that my friend brought up this blog for LDS women pursuing careers in medicine, asking how I felt about the claims these women made that they felt called by God into the work they were doing. I did not have an answer, because it didn’t make sense to me. Why would God tell most of us that we had to stay home, but a few others were told something different?

Now, I don’t think He did. I now think that the counsel/command to women about staying home was a product of culture. The law I want to follow moving forward is “How can I be happy and fulfilled, and leave this world knowing I worked to make it a better place? ”

Because I think this will come up in the comments made by LDS readers, I wanted to take a moment to talk about the word “sustain”. In the past I have felt like the phrase “Sustain our leaders” was used to say we should never disagree with them, ever. I no longer believe this is the case. I think we should sustain them in the literal sense of the word, support them. We can pray for them, we fund their lifestyles via tithing (if they use the stipend that is offered general authorities), we can talk positively about them. Disagreeing with someone’s interpretation of a situation is not bashing them it is done in a respectful manner, and I’ve come to realize that everything we know is in some way a mortal’s attempt to interpret the Divine. We are shaped by our experiences and knowledge base, biases and opinion develop, and we make our decisions accordingly. The leaders of the Church are no different. And so, as I have outlined in one way with this post, I do not always agree with the way the interpretation of God’s will is applied. Why would God give me Free Will and Personal Revelation if He didn’t want me to use them?

My friend Sophia has pointed out multiple times that many of the I Am A Mormon feature ads currently running highlight women who are doing more than staying home with their children. Like Emily, Ruth, and Irene. Again, I had no answer for this. Could it be that the Church is slowly moving toward a similar mindset, that women should work to figure out what works best for them personally? I like this approach so much more than the previous one that sounded to me more like “We prefer you stay home with your kids, but a very small minority of you can go out and work. It’s up to you to figure out what group you fall into.”

I was really touched by Beatrice’s story on Daughters of Mormonism, and how sincere she was in her desires to continue her research and contribute to the world in a way that feels meaningful for her. I realized I want to be like her. Moving forward, I have so many exciting possibilities ahead of me. I can write out a list of my dreams and make them happen. Before I felt limited, that I had to force my desires and ambitions to fit inside a specific mold. No more. For now I think I’m going to stick with part-time photography, as it’s something that works well with our family goals and lifestyle, and I find it very fulfilling on a mental/artistic/emotional level. It’s also incredibly flexible, which means I can make my schedule work around future pregnancies and little kids. After that, I don’t know. I know what I’m good at, and what I liked in high-school/college, and maybe I’ll explore some full or part-time work in those areas.

I’m still not sure where I’ll go, but I love that I’m the one who gets to decide.

*I didn’t feel like I had the time and space to get into it here, but if you’re curious about the Church’s stance on what is doctrine and what isn’t, this link is a good place to start. 

Also:

• The Awakening: R Rated Movies
• The Awakening: Introduction
• LDS Hymns

Jenna Cole

My Aspirations full day session is approaching capacity. Anyone else out there who might have been putting off finding out more? Email me! And in the spirit of my latest post on Jenna Cole, I decided to cancel the half-day session due to lack of interest. Whew! That was hard for me to admit, but sometimes we try things and they don’t work, right? I think I’m ready to keep trying new things, even if it means failing sometimes.

Try This

I discovered a fun new game. Put your camera on the floor and teach your toddler how to push the button. Do all sorts of crazy things in front of the lens while they peer at the screen on back. Laughter and smiles will follow.

School

I am currently allowing myself to write this post as a little pat on the back for making it through two whole sections of Statistics today! I’m on track to getting to where I need to be. To fill you in since my last psot on this topic, I decided to take Calculus online, but first needed to bump up my math skills to the algebra level. After almost a decade of no serious math classes, my skills were rusty, as in write 2x+2=10 on a piece of paper and I will rip that paper up and tell you it’s impossible for me to figure it out. After dedicating myself to Khan Academy for two months, I was working with linear equations once again and felt ready to give Calculus a try. Before I could start on the course material, I had to take an algebra pre-test to prove I could handle the course.

I opened up the open book pre-test, and within 10 minutes had giant tears running down my face because even with Google’s help I had absolutely no idea what they were asking me for. Khan Academy had been (and is) great, but once you rephrased the questions into a different format I felt lost, confused, and frustrated that the last two months I had just spent were a waste of time. And if the pre-test was this hard, how would I ever make it through the actual course?!?!?!

Within the last week I switched to Statistics and things are much, much better. This stuff is interesting to me, much more applicable to my normal life, and so far I’ve been doing really well on my Speedback quizzes. I have to have the class finished by the end of March if I want to have time to finish my other online course, Brit Lit, so That Wife posting should continue to be sparse (if I’m posting everyday again, feel free to remind me of my responsibilities).

This summer I’ll be taking Managerial Communication, American Lit, and the class I’m most looking forward to… women’s culture, women’s folklore as my senior course. If ever God gave me a sign that I was headed in the right direction, this is it. I cannot imagine a class that’s a better fit for me, as the Intro to Women’s Studies class and multiple Folklore focused courses at BYU were my very favorites. SQUEEEE! I’ve actually had the professor before (in one of the aforementioned Folklore courses) and I really enjoyed working with her.

House Hunting

We want to live somewhere along the peninsula south of San Francisco. I thought we had a great lead on a house, but it’s not the right situation for us. We’d really like to rent, but I can’t seem to find anyone to advise us on when we actually need to be digging in our heels and trying to find a place if we are moving in this August. Everything on Craigslist right now is listed as available immediately.

T1′s Therapy

We’re still loving our speech therapist, and haven’t sought out a new developmental therapist. He keeps having these wonderful mini-explosions which are delightful to hear. Last night it was the word “cracker”. He used it over and over and over, and we kept giving him crackers until he stopped asking for them. This morning on the changing table he tried out poop, diaper, pants, cup, up, and down. We’re making progress!

Weight Loss

Are you a part of That Weight Loss Challenge Facebook group? Because I haven’t been doing a good job of checking in here regularly regarding my weight loss efforts, but you’ll find all sorts of motivation and support over there! To try to summarize where I’ve been, when TWLC2 launched I weighed about 155 lbs. I went all sorts of crazy eating truffles over Christmas and when I came back to Chicago I weighed in at 160 lbs. Of sugar and refined-carb induced bloat. After a week of drinking my calories, mainly via fruits and vegetables, and a few more weeks of really trying to limit carbs, I’m back down to my pre-Christmas pants again. My plan is to continue limiting carbs and drinking lots of soup/smoothies to get where I haven’t been since my wedding day… below the 150lb mark.

As far as exercise, I’ve fallen hard for the Ripped in 30 workout DVD by Jillian Michaels. Remember that time I said I wouldn’t Shred? Well I still won’t Shred, but not because I think Jillian is a hypocrite selling diet pills and making unrealistic weight loss claims (she is) but now it’s because I like her other DVD better. Ha! After almost 3 months of doing the Ripped in 30 DVD an average of 4+ days/week, you can actually see my biceps when I flex. I don’t know that the rest of me looks any different yet, but my biceps are significantly bigger than they were in this photo. (A note to say that I’m working out to build muscle, not to lose weight, as I think that’s where diet comes in). We’re probably about halfway through, right? I should do some progress pictures.

Also:

• 2010 in Review
• The State of My Stretch Marks
• Boise Sunflares and Breakthroughs

We checked in to our hotel on Monday evening with just shy of 48 hours to explore. At the front desk were told that due to a strike, we wouldn’t be able to see David and some of the other must-see attractions of the area.

Would you like to know a secret? We were secretly relieved. This allowed us to spend time on our vacation doing the things that we like, not worrying about making sure we somehow pleased everyone else by doing what was popular. I’m glad we learned this lesson now, because we hopefully have lots of vacations ahead of us and we’re going to enjoy them much more if we plan them according to our own interests and desires. After learning about the strike we spent the rest of the afternoon relaxing and trying to figure out how we would spend our time over the next few days.

My favorite part about our time in Florence was the two runs I decided to go on. Running through the ancient streets of Florence, over the bridges and into the residential areas of the city felt amazing. Taking workout clothes and shoes was a bit burdensome, but if you’re a runner I would recommend making some space in your suitcase the next time you go on vacation because the experience can be so exhilarating.

The next morning or our only full day in Florence was eaten up by our attempts to figure out whether we needed to get an international driver’s permit to rent a car. We had secured them before our tip, but ended up leaving them in Chicago, with no time to have them rushed over the Atlantic to us. A nice gentleman in the government office helped answer our questions, with him speaking just enough English, and me speaking just enough Italian to understand each other. We ended up walking away empty-handed, and took the risk of hefty fines during our time driving throughout Italy. It’s a relatively recent law and thus not very well known, but if you’re planning a trip to Italy make sure you read up on licensing requirements and fees if you are caught driving with an international permit.

The sidewalks of Florence are very narrow, making walking side-by-side difficult, and causing us to step off to the side whenever we passed anyone else. I find it charming.

I admire street artists. So much work, no money, all for a temporary masterpiece.

This couple’s pose may be a bit graphic for some, but I found it to be rather romantic. Sitting on ancient steps drinking in the presence of the one you love most? Ohh la la.

Most of our day was spent walking and exploring, with our late afternoon time devoted to drinking in the beauty that is the Basilica di Santa Maria del Fiore and surrounding area.

It’s perfect for people watching, and the level of detail throughout is unlike anything I’ve ever seen.

I saw a man taking pictures of bicycles zooming past, and I realized he was attempting to capture a portrait with motion blur. It looked fun, and so I started attempting the same thing. Just as I pulled my camera down and started to walk away, this couple on the right rode by. She was sitting on the handlebars laughing hysterically as they weaved in and out of the crowd. It was everything you think of when you imagine the romance to be experienced in Italy.

The next morning, our last day there, we slept in (part of our “This is our vacation now!” commitment) and walked over to climb the duomo. The line was long, so we chose to climb Giotto’s Campanile instead. I think it was 6 euros a person, and the climb was long and the stairway cramped, but the beautiful views are worth it.

We didn’t know anything about the climb going in, and it’s a funny experience because you climb up a step of cramped winding stairs and emerge into the sun thinking “Wow, we’re already at the top!”. Then you realize you’re at one floor.. of many, many floors. I liked watching people emerge from the upward climb onto each floor, because you could tell many of them had the same experience we did.

After the climb we went back to the hotel, packed up our stuff, and picked up our teeny tiny rental car. Our destination? A little slice of paradise.

Also:

• Florence: Where We Stayed
• Bologna: What We Ate
• Bologna: Where We Stayed

I was reading through the things I wrote previously, and when I say out loud that I’ve decided to watch R-rated movies now it sounds much more dramatic than it is. My standards for violence, profanity, and sexuality haven’t changed all that much. What is dramatic is that I’ve decided not to worry about what is said in the Strength of Youth pamphlet when I choose what to watch. Previously, I read what was said about movies (or other things in that pamphlet) and made my list of what I should or shouldn’t do, and that was it. Now, I make my own list.

You know what I’ve always wanted to watch? Schindler’s List. But I never did because it was rated R, and I wanted to hold on to the statement that I had never seen a rated R movie. Not because I thought it made me “better” in some Mormon sense, but because I wanted to be able to tell my kids that I had done it, and they could to. Now I guess I will tell them that I’d like them to follow my example through high school, and that I think they will likely be better off for it, but once they are in college and developing their critical thinking skills it’s up to them.

I think if I were to write out my new media standard now, it would be that I want to try to focus my media consumption on things that I feel broaden my worldview in some way. I’ll probably apply this most stringently to movies, though I’d like to take a closer look at the tv shows I watch while I cook because time spent watching Drop Dead Diva could be spent watching Ted talks (Biggest Loser will always be on my playlist though, because I’m such a sucker for these personal stories of triumph, no matter how short-lived they may be). I want to go through the DVDs I own and get rid of those that don’t fit with my goals (maybe I’ll do a big giveaway and send them off to you guys? ), and when a movie comes out instead of immediately searching the Rotten Tomatoes page for the MPAA rating I want to look at the synopsis and the number of critics who liked it and think about what the movie means and how it could make me think.

I’m still going to keep using the site Kids In Mind, because I’m worried about desensitization. I like that I don’t swear, and I think it would be easy for me to start slipping and doing so when angry, frustrated, or surprised if I was consuming a lot of media that used such language frequently. And that’s certainly not the type of sounds I want filling my son’s sweet little ears. I don’t really want to a lot of nudity, frankly because I like that those things stay out of my head when I’m being intimate with my husband. I don’t want images of unrealistic, jealousy-inducing bodies popping up in my head during those times. Violence has always been the area where I am the most lenient because of the ways it does (/not) affect me, and will continue to be so, largely because I don’t have any intention of watching movies that are violent in an attempt to celebrate violence (a la horror films). I’m thinking more along the lines of Saving Private Ryan (I realize that’s the second Spielberg movie I’ve named in this post, I think it’s because these are movies I’ve been intrigued by for a long time, hearing my friends talk about them when I was a teenager, but have never allowed myself to watch), a movie which, based on the synopsis, may will help me think about war and move closer to understanding what war is and how it affects those who fight.

As for some of the things I named in my previous post, pornography is still out (for the reasons mentioned above). Same standards for music. Interestingly, we ordered some Friends DVDs via Netflix, and I just couldn’t get excited about watching them. I think I loved that series so much because of the way I shared it with my college girlfriends. Now, I love 30 Rock and Parks and Recreation because I watch them with That Husband.

I actually have a fun request for you. Now that I’ve opened myself up to new possibilities, what do you think I should watch? I’m still kind of puzzling through exactly what do and don’t want to watch, I think it will be a process that ebbs and flows over time. Currently on my list are:

Schindler’s List
Passion of the Christ
Taxi to the Dark Side
United 93

I opened up The Sweet Hereafter and Ides of March from Netflix this morning, though I’m still not sure what I think about the latter as it is really profanity-laden. We’ve considered a ClearPlay player to allow us to eliminate the profanity from movies like Ides of March if we wanted, but I’m not sure what we’ll do yet.

Also:

• The Awakening: On SAHMs
• The Awakening: Introduction
• If You Like ‘Em Put A Ring On It. Right?

In some respect it’s been a long journey, initiated by classes at BYU like Intro to Women’s Studies and The Gospel and World Religions. Casual reading of By Common Consent and Feminist Mormon Housewives introduced me to alternative ways of thinking. A few months ago I started listening to some podcasts like Mormon Matters, Mormon Stories, Mormon Expressions, and Daughters of Mormonism and the doors were thrown open. I’ve never felt “brainwashed” in the LDS Church (even though I know there are those who would argue otherwise) but it’s very much an environment where  you are simultaneously expected to rely on God speaking to you personally while sustaining the leaders of the Church (and this is often interpreted as “If you feel like God tells you something contrary to what the leaders say, you need to ask again until you get the right answer”).

Once I allowed myself to question a few things, the dam burst and I started questioning everything. It was so freeing! Now when we hear something That Husband and I turn to each other and ask “How would you interpret that?” and “What do you think about that?” We talk things over, sometimes coming to a conclusion, sometimes not. We search, develop theories, talk them over with our friends, revise, and commit to learning more. It’s so liberating!

I wanted to write a series “coming out” on four major topics where I’ve experienced dramatic reversals in my thinking because I want to continue to be genuine and honest with you. I want to share my perspective on some of the deeper meanings of life, and I can’t do that if it constantly leads people to say “But you said X 3 years ago and why is that different than what you are saying now?”

I admit that this almost prevented me from speaking out. The fear that I would be attacked for… changing my mind. For educating myself and growing and developing. The worry that I would spend my time deleting comments asking me how it feels to realize how wrong and stupid and ignorant I was.

This sort of discourse is not productive, and I hope that my fears will be unfounded. I hope that by writing about these shifts in my thinking I will come into contact with those who encourage me to continue thinking critically. I hope that those who might feel threatened by one of their own speaking out about sensitive issues will engage with me respectfully that we all can represent our faith in a positive way. I think this fear of mine has come from the political rhetoric we see so frequently in the media right now in the run up to election season. I know we don’t want politicians to do a 180 after we elect them, but at this point we aren’t even allowing someone to change their mind within their entire lifetime! I have to keep reminding myself that it’s not hypocritical or wrong to change my position on any given topic. I’m not running for political office which happily means I can switch positions whenever it feels right for me based on my knowledge and experience.

Some of these topics I’m going to cover are things that I’ve written about in the past, and the way I wrote about them or the positions that they took were hurtful. I never intended harm. I’ve long thought, and still do believe, that the best approach in life is to think critically and pick a position that feels right to you, only know that I’ve made this move toward Relativism I am much less likely to say “I’m right and thus you must be wrong”, and instead think “I’ve thought about this, and based on everything I know this is what seems right to me.”

Right now my belief about the LDS church can be summed up by a statement I heard on one of the podcasts I’ve been listening to:

The LDS Church is the truest church, but not true enough.

This is why I want to speak out, because I think we can do better. In some small way, these posts will be my way of paying it forward, because I would not have reached this place if other before me had not stood up to say they had questions they were still seeking out answers for. I look forward to sharing and conversing with you via four separate posts with you over the coming weeks regarding my evolving beliefs and my move away from Absolutism, toward Relativism.

Also:

• The Awakening: On SAHMs
• The Awakening: R Rated Movies
• LDS Hymns

I have decided to make a change though, and move away from using the phrase Fashionably Modest to describe these posts. As you can see, this one is titled Style Files. Certainly not original, but I felt like devoting my brain power to other areas instead of coming up with a unique title.

I made this switch because I’ve recently become disillusioned with the way modesty is interpreted in the LDS Church, the way this interpretation generates shame, and how it is often used as an excuse for judging someone else’s choices. And being modest isn’t just about clothes, it’s about homes and cars and lifestyles too. I don’t know what the exact definition of a modest lifestyle is, I guess it would be different for each person, but it’s something I’d like to work toward and I think using it as a title for a series on what clothing I wear reinforces the idea that it’s about nothing more than not wearing a low-cut top or a skirt above the knees. It’s something I’m still working through.

I’m not changing the way I dress, just the way I interpret and use the term modest.

Shirt: Ann Taylor, thrifted
Jacket: thrifted
Jeans: Not Your Daughters
Shoes: Born

I have a thing for vests lately. I want to buy more of them.

I’m also going to stop attaching prices to the description of my items. I’m tired of keeping track of what things cost and looking them up for my posts, so from now on you’ll just see where I found the item, and possibly the brand.

Oh, and I’ve taken a few pictures of T1 in a few of my favorite outfits he has. I think those “mini style files” posts will be really cute.

Also:

• Fashionably Modest: Boots, Jacket, Skinnies
• Fashionably Modest: The Look That Aged Me
• Fashionably Modest: Bright and Colorful in the Fall

Our first meal was at Caminetto D’oro. We dined on:

Fishy bread, tomato, basil
Zucchini salad with apple slices and parmesan. This was insanely simple and incredibly delicious, I need to remember to try to replicate this at home.
Ham from Parma with a variety of breads.
Homemade pasta with seasonal mushrooms.

This was a fantastic way to start off our trip! The food was simple, yet inventive. We walked out of there feeling like coming to Bologna was the best idea we’d ever had.

 9 out of 10 stars for D’oro.

A note about Italian bread:

Before I forget to tell you, Italian bread is very dry and hard, nothing like what you find in restaurants in America. My reading suggests that the tradition of making it this way developed when the salt tax was very high, and so bakers made their bread with very little salt. Over time the Italians grew used to having their bread this way. I haven’t been to the south, and I know the north and the south are very different, so this might not be the case down in Palermo?

On our way back we saw a bunch of locals crowded around Stefino Gelato, and realized we hadn’t met our quota of one gelato/day.

They spoke almost no English, but I looked up the word for wafer and we did our best to guess at what we would like. I chose Bacio, which is basically Nutella. TH had something called Cuba, a mixture of vanilla, cream, and rum. It was 2 euros for a small, and though I wouldn’t go out of my way just to go there, if you eat at Caminetto D’oro it’s a nice place to get dessert afterward.

Based on a Chowhound recommendation, our lunch the next day was at Nicola’s Pizzeria.

We were eating during the slow period (Italians eat on a very different schedule than Americans), and the Italian-only speaking waiter did not seem happy to see us. From the other reviews, it sounds like you should really only get pizza if you go here. After a big, delicious hotel breakfast we decided to share a pizza with prosciutto, mozzarella, and tomatoes. The crust was thin and dry which TH didn’t like, but it was lightly sauced, which I really liked.

5 out of 10 stars for Nicola’s. 

Our next stop was Moline Gelato. (I wish I had seen that blog post before we went!)

I had two flavors, dark chocolate and sour cherry, and I was disappointed by the sour cherry because I like the ice cream portion of that flavor to be very tart. TH had the praline, which he found to be overwhelmingly sweet, but very creamy.

Dinner that night was at Trattoria Meloncello. After reading review after review, this was the meal I was most excited about, and I had been hyping it up to That Husband for days. We came hungry and ready to eat, after our hike up to the Madonna of San Luca. All of the foodies online seemed to be raving about it! In short, the meal was so disappointing that I actually went back to our hotel and looked it up to make sure we hadn’t eaten at the wrong Meloncello or something.

We came in right when it opened, and were the only ones there the entire time. We sat outside, which was nice, but a bit noisy due to street traffic. We dined on:

Sasuage bolognese, which was swimming in cheese, so much that it overwhelmed the dish (I didn’t know this was possible).
A dish typical to Bologna that I didn’t catch the name of. (My Italian is quite poor.)

Meloncello has no menu (a rather quaint twist that I really like), and we let the waiter know we wanted to eat whatever he thought was best. Maybe this was our mistake? Overall I felt like the food was “niente di speciale”, nothing special. Our meal plus waters only cost us 25 euros though, which was one of our cheapest dinner experiences during our time in Italy, so even though we were unsatisfied we didn’t pay a lot for it (not like our experience at Bistro 18 the next night!)

4 out of 10 stars for Meloncello

This experience actually had us thinking that we don’t like traditional Italian food, and over time we’d become snobby and needed a nuovo/moderno twist to our dishes like what we found at Caminetto D’oro. Later we went out into the Tuscan countryside and realized it wasn’t us, it was Meloncello/Bologna/the commercialization of the restaurants. When traditional Italian food is done superbly, it will blow your mind.

After our disappoint meal at Meloncello, we wanted to end the night with some gelato. It was here that we found our favorite gelato in Bologna, at a place called Venchi. Venchi is famous for it’s chocolate, and thus the chocolate flavored gelato here is superb. I ordered Crema Venchi, Cuor di Cacao, and Ciocco Cocco. This is one of the few true artisanal gelato places we found during our time in Italy, most have nearly identical menus leading me to believe that they have their gelato trucked in from somewhere. Another bonus for Venchi is that it’s right next to Tamburini and the main piazza, and so we were able to go the next night as well. The second time I had Cioccolato azteco, Ciocco coco, and Fior di latte superior. We ducked into the shade of a store window and dove into our cups and cones as the tourists walk by. That is pure Italian magic to me.

9 out of 10 stars for Venchi

Bistro 18 was another location I had really high hopes for. The website said dinner wasn’t served until 8, but I think it was served even earlier. Dining room was very cool, and it felt nice to be in a light wrap sweater with strange almost-erotic art comics hanging on the walls. We paid 70 euros for several courses, no dessert and no drinks.

Perfectly ripe cantaloupe
Stale bread (from an American perspective), no olive oil served with it
Goat cheese salad. Amaze. Heavy on the croutons and I would like more lettuce, but the crispy heaping round of goat cheese was perfect.
Brodo, a traditional Italian dish, was not anything to write home about. Noodles in salty broth? 
The sheep pasta was the saltiest dish I’ve ever had. I could only eat a few bites, though I did like the slight al dente of the pasta.
TH had the veal. Slightly overdone on edges, kind of nice paired with the tomato. Last year we spent some time in Vienna though, and this failed miserably in comparison to the schnitzel there.

5 out of 10 stars. 

This meal was the saltiest I’ve ever had, and I was prepared to give it 4 stars but the goat cheese salad won me over. My sheep pasta was so bad, I considered sending it back to the kitchen (though I was full so I decided not to).

—————

After deciding to visit Bologna due to the number of people raving about the culinary options, I was very disappointed. I was frustrated that time spent planning did not seem to be paying off the way I thought it would. As I said in my previous post about Bologna, I can’t really think of a reason I would personally tell someone that they needed to carve out time in their budget for. Caminetto D’oro and Venchi were wonderful, but there is much more where that came from in other areas of Italy.

Also:

• Florence: Where We Stayed
• Florence: What We Did
• Bologna: Where We Stayed

Are LDS hymns all uniquely LDS or do you sing ones you will also find in other Christian denominations?

There are a few universal Christian hymns, bust I think most of them are original.  I actually don’t know which ones other people sing and which ones are uniquely LDS. You can listen to the LDS hymn book here if you’d like. A few of my favorites include:

Abide With me, Tis Eventide

Brightly Beams Our Father’s Mercy (I cry every time this song is performed, it has such a beautiful message and the harmonies are very moving)

Nearer My God To Thee

Be Still, My Soul

Lord I Would Follow Thee

Oh My Father

On Sundays I try to avoid secular things, and focus on hymns and podcasts that will help me draw closer to God. I’m always looking for something new to add to my Grooveshark playlist. What are some of your favorite hymns? (I’d love YouTube links so I can go listen to them myself!)

Also:

• Marriage and Mormonism
• L.D.S Facts from Ford Motor Company
• Nursery

Those are undoctored eyes! I think they’ve faded a bit over time but they’re still my favorite baby eyes anywhere.

No surprise, since he’s my favorite baby ever. (Until T2 comes, then I will have two favorites.)

Also:

• Picking Apples in Indiana
• Finals Are Over, Christmas Celebrating Begins!
• There’s A Toddler In My Bed

I loved the branding of their bathroom products, and the glass-walled shower. They also had a garden area on the rooftop, and I think there was a hot tub as well, but we didn’t visit those. We did have to walk through some more deserted streets late at night to get back, but we never felt threatened or unsafe. It had free wi-fi with a password that you request from the front desk.

The breakfast provided was the second best we had in Italy. It had a large variety, and everything they set out was really well done. My favorite combinations were celery/brie/walnuts, and a spoonful of granola with yogurt and Nutella plopped on top.

Also:

• Florence: Where We Stayed
• Florence: What We Did
• Bologna: What We Ate

I spent a lot of time researching before this trip. Hours and hours reading blogs, checking out books, trying to figure out where we wanted to stay and where we wanted to eat (what we would actually do while we were there wasn’t something I felt needed much attention, it’s Italy after all!). I’m going to be writing several posts for each location we visited, one to show you what we did, one to review where we stayed, and one talking about where we ate. I kept detailed notes during our trip for this very purpose, because there were places that we LOVED which must be visited. And there were places we wasted time and money on which should be avoided. If you’ve been to Italy and have suggestions for other people on what they should do and eat, and where they should stay, I’d love to have you chime in down below.

I’ll go ahead and show you everything we did, but if you’re considering a visit to Bologna, read my summary at the bottom. (Teaser: I don’t think this is an area worth visiting if you’re considering other options.)

Our first stop on our trip was Bologna. How nice to fly into Italy not looking like a hot mess, right? Having that 2-day stopover in Poland before we came to Italy was so wonderful, because we were able to step off the plane and start enjoying our trip right away, instead of forcing ourselves to fight through the jet lag. We flew into the Forli airport on Friday, grabbed a taxi (which was very easy) to the train station, and then spent something like an hour trying to figure out how to get up to Bologna on the train. The station was very small and the train schedules were really confusing. The first train we missed because it sound it would be on platform 4, but was really on platform 2. Eventually we asked a fellow passenger for help and made it up to Bologna.

We didn’t get to our hotel until pretty late, but of course having dinner wasn’t a problem, since Italians don’t eat dinner until between 8-10pm at night. The next morning, Saturday, we set out and started exploring. I had planned out an itinerary involving a bakery, pizza, a snack, ice cream, Zara, a toy store, a hike, and dinner. Ha! We slept in and went shopping for That Husband instead.

Celio is a gem of a store if you have a slim husband who has trouble finding clothes that fit in American stores that cater to the heavier American male population.

Probably my favorite statue in all of Italy.

Whenever I visit Europe, I eat as much gelato as possible. There are very few places in America that do it as well as the cheapest places in Europe.

On Saturday afternoon we hiked up to the Madonna of San Luca, which we both agree was the best part of our time in Bologna. It’s a long, sweaty hike, but the entire journey is covered by these beautiful porticoes. We hiked, took in the views, and ate dinner right afterward, which felt perfect.

One thing we would do differently: bring water for this hike. I had discovered these public drinking fountains in Rome, so I jumped right in and cooled myself down after our hike, but TH was wary.  You’ll see the water flowing straight down, but use your finger to stop the end and it will come out a hole at the top, ready for you to drink. It tastes good too.

Sunday morning I convinced TH that we should walk to church. On the way we passed the Bologna marathon. The African runners went by, and a few minutes later the first Italian guy ran past. That’s when the loudest cheers were heard.

Walking to church was an awful idea. It took us over an hour, we were late, and both of us had blisters so bad that we grabbed a cab on the way back. We also chose to go during ward conference, which meant the room was so full some people were standing. We decided to only stay through the sacrament.

That evening we walked over to the Sette Chiese, Seven Churches. It was fine, but neither of us are really that interested in architecture and that’s why you would visit this area.

On our walk back we walked past a big free concert held in the middle of the square, Centro Storico.

We flew into Bologna on Friday evening and took a train to Florence on Monday morning. We came to Bologna specifically for the food, and as I’ll cover in my What We Ate post, we weren’t very impressed. Several of our meals were incredibly disappointing (even after hours of research online before we left, trying to figure out where to eat) and the city as a whole felt very run-down. Most of the walls along the porticoes were covered in graffiti, and even some of the ancient monuments! Unemployment among the younger generation in Italy is very high, and I think graffiti and minor vandalism is a way that people are expressing their anger over the government’s failure to address this (maybe things will be looking up soon?). Now that our trip is over, I really regret our time there. If I could do it over, we never would have gone to Bologna, and would have devoted the extra time to the Cinque Terre area instead (which we’ll get to a few posts from now!).

Also:

• Florence: Where We Stayed
• Florence: What We Did
• Bologna: What We Ate

I’ve done workshops like this before, and here is what one of my attendees had to say about the experience:

I was very much on the fence about my photography. I went into this almost completely blind. Almost meaning, I did a few sessions with my father-in-law’s camera (Canon XT), was satisfied with the results of the pictures I took, but in no way used the camera to maximize its capacity. After that (and after getting lots of “ooo, great pictures!”, “nice work”, “oh you’re doing these for FREE? i’m in!”), I did my research, got the best camera I could get for my budget (Canon 40D with the kit lense, which I very much regret getting that lense to this day), started up a photo blog, and went on my way. I skimmed the camera manual for some guidance, had absolutely NO idea what they were talking about, and was completely frustrated with how my husband was trying to teach me. So being completely blind still, I did lots of sessions with the little knowledge I had of what my camera was actually doing, and was decently satisfied with the results of my pictures. I mean, I did have Lightroom and Photoshop anyways to fall back on.
Which brings me to my editing. I HHHHHAAAATTTTTEEEEEDDDDD it with a passion. Yes, all caps, and super exaggerated. If you don’t say it like that, then you won’t get the full effect. I spent hours upon hours editing EVERY SINGLE good and decent picture. It was so overwhelming, so tedious, so not exciting. From what I read, this was supposed to be one of the best parts about photography. Effects, actions, presets, the whole shabang was supposed to be fun! Eh wrong.
Now I know I was completely going at it from the wrong angle. Here’s what Jenna Cole taught me:
First we started out with Composition. I went into this knowing a few photo techniques, i.e. placing the subject(s) on a grassy hill with hands placed just right and saying, “don’t move”, or as my husband chimes in “try to look natural, but don’t move too much”. HA. Jenna taught us how to make the subject look flattering, how to make them look and feel natural, how to not take awkward ‘up the nose’ shots. All around, I learned the right angles to take and not take photos. For example, Jenna stood up on the bench above our model and took an above picture. Why I didn’t think of that angle before I do not know!
We moved on to ISO, aperture, shutter speed, white balance, using our histogram, and a few other techniques. She explained them in ways that make absolute sense! I won’t get into every single detail of each one, but if you had absolutely no idea what those words/acronyms meant going into the session, you would walk away completely knowing AND understanding what to do with them and how to get every shot at its best.
Jenna gave us plenty of time to photograph our model, helping us in each step to process the information she gave us and use it! She was there to guide me through what buttons to press and what settings to be on. She even let us use her lenses she had on hand (and even let us play with the precious 5D Mark II, which I did not want to let go of) and gain a visual on the difference between what we own and what we could have.
I’m now completely on the other side of the fence. And will not go back on again. Jenna Cole’s Aspirations session was completely unexpected in a very good way. I learned more than I thought I would, and can USE what I’ve learned, which I think is the most important aspect of workshops/mentoring sessions.

Also:

• Paige’s Maternity Shoot
• October Photo Challenge: Week 3
• October Photo Challenge: Week 2

Why a birth center or at home? Because for this project that’s the type of birth I’d like to focus on. For this particular instance I’d like to focus on alternatives to the American norm (if you happen to transfer to the hospital of course I will follow you throughout!) Think of it like a photographer seeking out a red-headed model for a particular concept shoot they have in mind. I’ve photographed one other birth, which was in a hospital, ended up being a c-section and loved taking part in that. Eventually I’d love to expand into making birth photography a small part of Jenna Cole, and this free offer is the beginning of that.

My birth images from Kelli Nicole are so meaningful to me and I want to provide that for other families as well.

If you fit this description, please email me, or pass it on to a friend if you think they’d be interested. If I don’t hear from anyone I plan to contact some local midwives to see if they have a client who would be interested.

Also:

• 2010 in Review
• T1′s Birth Slideshow
• Postnatal Cuddling

We rang in the New Year at home, watching the fireworks at Navy Pier from our living room. I introduced my 101 in 1001 list (which I love so much more than New Years Resolutions). I reviewed the books I read in 2010, and TH shared some excellent tips for buying a laptop. My Dialect Vlog was surprisingly popular (and yes, I still say v-log when I say it in my head). I introduced the first round of That Weight Loss Challenge, and right afterward linked to one of my favorite desserts ever. Sometimes my post don’t coordinate very well.

February

Europe recaps I, II, and III went up. Continuing my trend of taking several months to recap our big trips. T1 turned 8 months, and somewhow I managed to post about his 9th month during February as well (I was falling behind). My work was featured on the front page of Style Me Pretty! I wrote about the LDS Church’s stance on birth control and really enjoyed commenting back and forth with you. I mused on being Shiny, Happy, Hip. I ran a mile without stopping! I missed my CSA during the winter, and my post led me to a great Spring CSA in the Chicago area. Chicago looked beautiful after a big storm that everyone was talking about. Sometimes, I think it’s good to be a little hungry. I should go back to that. My Great-Grandma Spence passed away, and I flew home to Washington for her funeral.

March

Europe IV, V, VI, and VII went up. T1 started walking and making lots of messes. Many more of those followed. I got worked up over nothing when it came to feeding T1. I lost enough weight fit back into some of my old clothes! According to my readership survey, most of you are female, married, Christian, and interestingly, identify as a Democrat. I felt frustrated by those who buy into the party line.

April

I finished up my Europe posts with parts VIII and IX. I revealed that TH doesn’t wear a wedding band, and shared my thoughts on the Book of Mormon Musical.  I took some pictures that showed how different I looked with the weight I lost so far that year. IN one month I managed to post T1 at 10 months, 12 months (I skipped 11 completely), shared my thoughts with T1 on the first year of motherhood, and celebrated T1 Day. I turned 26, and my 26th birthday was a bit of a fail. 27 will be a good one. We ended the month with a really fancy Easter dinner, something we plan to do every year from now on.

May

As the weather warmed up, I started running outside. Now I hate running on the treadmill. Highlight posts for this month include Another Day in the Life post, Mormons and Caffeine, my C25K experience, My Favorite Baby Gear, and a post (that I personally love) on prayer. We reached the halfway point for TWLC. T1 was mischievous (is mischievous).

June

I covered what I call the That Wife Weight Loss Plan, felt frustrated with my poor eating choices while travelling and living away from home, and tried to explain how we went from a processed-foods meat-heavy household to a localganic mostly-vegetarian one (and how my husband made the transition with me!). I asked for help with figuring out the etiquette for posting recipes on my blog, and came up with these rules for myself (which I honestly wish more bloggers would adopt). I gave you a tour of our apartment, wrote a 14 month update for T1, and listed my favorite iPhone apps. I think the highlight of this month for me was my time in Utah, though my trip to Boise was pretty fantastic as well.

July

In July I posted a lot, because I was living with my parents going on all sorts of adventures and wanted to document them all. Sunday Day in the Life, Royal City Community Days, a few pictures of my hometown, baby boy in the bath, the 4th of July program I grew up attending, T1 playing dress-up at grandma’s house, we toured a windmill farm, and visiting my dad’s potato, pea, and carrot seed fields. TH had a big birthday, and so my parents gave us a baby-free day in Seattle as a gift. I listed out the cost of having a baby for us, showed my weight loss progress thus far, and had fun dirtying up my camera sensor using the Freelensing technique. In the middle of all of this I managed to write a few LDS-based posts as well, including one on the LDS leadership hierarchy and our understanding of what an angel is.

August

August marked the end of That Weight Loss Challenge, and I showed you the difference between my stretch marks now and immediately after having a baby. I fell in love with Pinterest and tried to explain how it works, asked for your suggestions regarding what I should put in a church busybag for T1, and gave you a tour of my dad’s business. I went to Boston, and realized something big: We are hermits and we love it! T1 turned 16 months and I wrote an 18 months post to celebrate this (I don’t think this makes sense either in retrospect). I was able to zip up the dress I wore for our engagement shoot, became obsessed with the sock bun, and tried to convince everyone (unsuccessfully) to make Miety.

September

Most of my posts for September are filler because we spent this time in Europe, and I don’t have anything to link to because I haven’t written those recaps yet. Ooops. I did share a few images from our trip, including some panoramas I made, as well as a failed attempt at a composite image of TH and I. I developed a new method for packing clothes for a long trip which I plan on employing for future trips as well. I did write a few posts on serious topics that got great feedback, including one on Native Americans and another on how to reach out to someone who is sick or going through a hard time. I decided to launch the Hyde Park Cooking Club, which looked like it would fail at first, but has been growing steadily and has become something I really look forward to.

October

I launched TWLC2 and was lucky enough to score a seating at Next with TH and another couple from church. We loved it and I want to go back every rotation! (If only we could afford it.) We watched General Conference and celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary. Some things about this time with T1 were great, he turned 18 months and started going to nursery. Some were more difficult, like how aggressive he was with his little friends (which he has happily moved past by now) and getting a diagnosis of speech delays. I finally shared the TWLC finale results with you (those girls are so inspiring!) and created a Pinterest board for sharing favorite recipes. For Halloween, That Husband was away for a conference, so T1 and I dressed up in matching costumes as a deer and a mountain man. I decided to go back to BYU and graduate!

November

I showed you my grandmparent’s ranch, a place that means so much to me. I attended the Power of Moms Retreat and started doing a better job setting boundaries in my life. I revamped my About page  and created a Mormon.org profile, two things on my 101 in 1001 list. I discovered two recipes I really love, Pear and Butternut Squash and Applesauce. The two highlights of November were definitely my sister’s visit (and our getaway as a couple to Dallas!) and the first Thanksgiving we hosted.

December

T1 somehow got cuter and cuter. I updated you on T1′s therapy and our decision to fire the developmental therapist, and shared our favorite learning activities to do together. I posted some photos from 6 months previous, including our summer family reunion, a farm tour, another farm tour, and apple picking in Indiana shortly before Halloween. I showed you what LDS general conference weekend is like for us, via a DITL post. I shared the text from our Christmas card. Favorite posts from this month included a discussion on Santa and Marriage/Mormonism/Sex.  We ended the year with 3 weeks in Washington with my parents, enjoying the time with family and the chance to share our darling son with the people who love him so much.

Also:

• School Kinks
• Brain Dump
• The Awakening: R Rated Movies

This Christmas, for whatever reason, I spent a little bit of time mourning the changes that have happened in our family over time. When I was growing up, all of my parent’s siblings in either side came home for Christmas (or lived close enough to just drive over) and we would have 10+ cousins of varying ages running around, playing games, watching movies, and ripping presents open. Now that we’re older everyone is spreading out and most are spending Christmas with their own immediate families, and so this year T1 was the only young child there on both days. Normally I love change, but these Christmas memories are so special to me, and I naively wanted my own children to have the exact same experiences that I did.

Of course that’s not how it will happen, and you know what? That’s okay. My dad called me a few days after we returned to Chicago and he said it was the best Christmas he could remember. I agreed! Our holidays don’t have to be the exact same year to year to be meaningful and special.

So this is what Christmas looks like for us in 2011. Next year we might be in Utah again, so it will look completely different. The year after that? Who knows.  You can see Christmas 2010 here, Christmas 2009 here, and Christmas 208 in several parts, here, here, here, here, here, and here.

I woke up on Christmas Eve this year with a sore throat and the beginning of a hacking cough that lasted through the holidays.

T1 ate peanut butter and jam waffles with bananas for breakfast.

And then we took a shower together. Showering with him is such a wonderful experience, I’ll be so sad when he outgrows it.

I got dressed and ready for the day, doing my hair in one of my favorite hairstyles, the Gibson Tuck. I wanted to do full hair and makeup because I knew lots of pictures would be taken (guess what, my mom and sister, both photographers, had the same thought!)

T1 had his hair done as well, by my mom (no makeup for him though).

We get to work int he kitchen because it’s time for Christmas Eve brunch! This isn’t a tradition for us, though I can see it being something we do in the future. It was planned because we were spending Christmas Eve evening at my grandma’s house, and Christmas Eve day at my aunt’s house, and we wanted some time when it was just our family (mom, dad, me, husband, baby, sister, brother-in-law).

Brunch as sausage, waffles with whipped cream and strawberries, and this wonderful baked eggs and tomato parmesan dish.

Oh and I can’t forget about the Choffy! It’s all the rage in Utah I hear, and my mom loves it as well. Strawberry waffles are a “thing” for my family, so we have them for most special occasions.

Right as we were finishing brunch, our friends came over for a little gift exchange time.

My mom gave a french press, and some choffy. It was like a choffy Christmas for us.

T1 woke up and the kids were EXCITED. They love him.

Shay and BIL did the clean-up.

And I worked with the girls to decorate the tree (we hadn’t done so yet because I wanted to wait until my sister was there). In the middle you can see Scary Tree Elf. He resides in our tree and watches over the presents to make sure no one does any peeking.

That Husband and I slipped into my room to watch some Parks and Recreation on my ipad while my dad shared snowmobiling videos with his friend. After our friends left we watched this gorgeously done video about the birth of Christ.

We kicked off present time with farmer hats from my dad, one for each of us. We opened gifts on Christmas Eve for a few reasons. First, no santa means we aren’t constrained to doing it on Christmas morning. Second, because Christmas was on Sunday we had to go to church that morning and we didn’t want to get up any earlier than we had to. My mom wanted to open gifts really early Christmas Eve morning instead (she does such a good job buying everyone gifts and gets so excited to see us all open them!) but we all outnumbered her and voted to do it Christmas Eve afternoon.

We decided to open presents from youngest to oldest. T1 half-heartedly ripped into one of his.

Honestly, all he wanted to do was play Fish School.

I actually learned about the little pink book via some advertising in my own sidebar.

I think I saw on Twitter that these gloves you can use your iDevice with were a very popular gift this year? I’m very excited to use mine.

My sister and my mom are the best gift givers in the family because they have such great taste. On the left we have my mom opening a necklace from my sister. On the right my sister opening a pair of shoes from my mom.

One of my favorite gifts was this eye mask! I like how tight it fits against my eyes.

T1 gave up on opening his own gifts, instead devoting his time to using daddy’s mouse as a phone.

And listening to music in daddy’s new headphones.

TH’s favorite gift was his new kindle! He wants to get rid of all of our books and go digital.

My mom is always prepared. She gave me the Ivanka Trump heels on the left, but they were way too small for my wide fat feet. She left the room and came back with the pair you see on the right, which fit beautifully! I was really hoping for a new pair of plain black pumps that look more sophisticated than my old round-toed Steve Maddens.

Shay and her husband were surprised with a new Blender. I always love watching people open the big surprise gift, especially when it’s something they were really hoping for (but don’t really dare hope that they’ll get it!)

My mom has always been funny about the way she gives gifts (it makes us all laugh and we love it). For a few years she didn’t label the presents at all, and then she would forget who they belonged to. So I would open a curling iron, get excited, and be told I had to give it to my sister because it was supposed to go to her the whole time! Shay and I were not a fan of this. My mom tested out a new system this year. I opened a gift, like this darling yellow dutch oven, and then was told I could keep the yellow beauty, or open another gift and see what it was. I of course chose to open another gift (there was no danger of losing the crock pot if I liked it better than Gift B  ).

Gift B ended up being a leather jacket. Due to the weight of the dutch oven (how would we get it home?), I chose to go with the leather jacket. My mom had a second leather jacket on hand in case I liked that one better, and somehow my sister weaseled her way into claiming that one (without giving up one of her gifts in return!). She’s sneaky like that.

After the gift wrapping was done my grandma called and ask where we were. We panicked thinking we were late and got everything in the car as fast as possible.

After looking at myself in these picture, I realized I liked the jacket, but that I’d like to look for something a bit more slimming. I plan to exchange it (which my mom is perfectly happy with, thank goodness).

On our way we drove past Saddle Mountain. So named because it looks like it has a saddle in it. Can you see it?

Dinner was a wonderful hodge podge of a feast. A variety of breads, meats, cheeses, fruits, and desserts. I personally contributed 44 clove garlic soup, nutella dip, cookie dough dip, and Krakow Cake (made with TH, a family recipe from Poland that I’ll post soon!) The cookie dough dip is the only one I won’t be making again.

One of my favorite pictures from the weekend. Love.

After dinner we did the same thing we always do, migrated into the family room to watch old home movies filmed by my grandma throughout the 90′s. These films are priceless treasures and I’m so happy to have them digitized and on my hard drive for my kids to watch.

We kicked off another round of present opening with Andersen brand necklaces from my aunt.

TH was given an (annoying) helicopter that beeped and made noises, and my cousin gave all the girls coordinating pairs of nail polish.

T1 demonstrated his love of balancing things on his head for everyone.

We did a cousin gift exchange, and I was given a mom shirt+baby sweatshirt set by my cousin Callen. They say “My kid is cuter than your kid” and “My mom is hotter than your mom”.

I drew TH in the exchange and I gave him a soap holder. It’s the only gift I gave him for Christmas (he prefers I don’t ever give him gifts) and he laughed when he saw it. He really, really likes bar soap.

A ladybug hat made by grandma!

He might look like he doesn’t like it, but he does. That’s his “I’m concentrating really, really hard face”.

Shay took this one. Nice blogging photography Shay!

You look beautiful here mom. My grandma made these scarves for the generation above me, and I admit I was drooling over them. They’re a lot of work for her, but they are stunning!

After presents it was time for my favorite Christmas tradition, the sock. Grandpa fills an old tube sock with change, we reach in and do our best to grab as many coins as possible.

I got myself warmed up and ready to go.

Participants reach in in order of age, so I went, and TH went a few turns later. Whenever you go, you have someone hold your plastic bag next to the sock opening because you only get to keep what makes it into your bag.

After the sock, things quieted down slowly. We all counted our money (I didn’t get the most (a competition between the cousins each year, my female teenage cousin won)), ate some more, and slowly made our way to the car.

We woke up Sunday morning and went to church at 10am. I sang in the choir and wanted to be festive with a red shirt (thrifted of course). My sister loaned me the nylons and I wore my new shoes from the day before for the first time.

After church we drove back to pretty much the same place we were before, but we took a different road and ended up at a different house (my grandma and aunt/uncle live on the same road less than half a mile from each other).

When we got there, everyone was gathered around the projector in the media room. My cousin, on his mission in Brazil, was on the phone! Missionaries only get to call home twice a year for their entire two year mission, once on Mother’s Day and once on Christmas Day, so this is a really big deal. Everyone was excited to talk to him, but my aunt in particular was deliriously happy.

My cousin’s gift to his parents was this trio of figurines, representing the three of them on the day he went through the temple. The outfits even match what they were wearing on that day. Amazing!

We managed to keep T1 awake for a few minutes so he could say hello to my cousin (my cousin’s mission farewell and his baby blessing were on the same day so I feel like they have a little bit of a connection) and then took him upstairs for a nap.
I snacked on some delicious meat with Ritz crackers while they finished up the phone call. I was getting hungry, but we couldn’t eat until the 1 hour phone call was over.

While lunch was put together, my grandma started passing out presents. They have a dairy farm, so at least one of us usually ends up with a dairy themed ornament.

The three oldest girl (my cousin, myself, and my sister) got socks that smelled kind of like the Strawberry Shortcake doll we used to play with at her house. I’m guessing that smell only lasts until you wear them once?

Hooray! Sister picture. Sadly this picture reminded me that we didn’t get a single picture of the immediate family together during the entire break. I have to make sure this doesn’t happen next year!

Our socks were silly and fun gifts, but some of them were touching as well.

Lunch was delicious, salmon and salad and soup. On this side of the family we don’t have set dishes that we have every year, at least I don’t remember any, but I haven’t been helping in the kitchen for very long. I contributed one of my favorite soups, Pear and Butternut Squash.

After lunch I snuck away to take a nap (the baby was still sleeping), which lasted something like 3 hours. I think T1 ended up sleeping for something like 5? When we woke up it was time for more noshing downstairs. I baked some cream cheese snickerdoodles, which were a raging hit but messy to make (I’ll write about them on Pinterest Fail soon).

The rest of the night was spent playing Risk, shooting baskets in the indoor gym, playing pool, and dancing on the Kinect. Although I love tradition and family togetherness, after a long weekend of Christmas celebrating it was nice to spread throughout the house and spend our time however we wanted.

Now, it’s time to link to what you guys shared with me!

Caitlin celebrated Christmas pregnant this year.

Amber celebrated her Christmas with a vegetarian dinner plate.

Megg had both her parents in town, and they ended Christmas Eve evening with a round of monopoly. (Her dad won, she says he always wins.)

Msleetobe celebrated her Christmas in Seoul!

Hannah couldn’t sleep on Christmas Eve, so she got up to clean the living room at 1 am. Haha.

Jackie wrote a post that gives some really wonderful insight into how Catholics celebrate Christmas.

Katie somehow managed to find herself in three different Texas cities at some point during Christmas Day.

Kate’s family had a very dramatic Christmas, including a car chase from one 7-11 to another in order to find some butter on Christmas day.

LPC doesn’t have any pictures, but she wrote a beautiful post (as always) on forgetting the salsa for Christmas burritos (and how it all turned out okay after all).

I have a late addition to add to this post, Cecy’s Christmas spent in France! Over Christmas, they usually sleep in a castle. A real castle! Part I, Part II, and Part III.

Also:

• DITL: Conference Weekend Edition
• (Sun)Day In The Life: July 10, 2011
• Day In The Life: With a Two Month Old