I didn’t take official prenatal vitamins until well into my second trimester. A few months prior to conception I started taking Vitafusion Multi Vites Gummy Vitamins and I kept taking those same supplements through something like week 16.

Mmmmm, gummy vitamins. So much tastier than those horse pills I’m taking now.

I looked through  many days of Fitday nutrition analyses taken over a period of several years, and decided that, on average, I was meeting a vitamin and mineral intake that I felt comfortable with, folic acid of course being the one I was most concerned about. As some of you know I’m a big believer in the concept of “intuitive eating”, the idea that a persons body will tell them what areas they are deficient in, and at the beginning of my pregnancy I was eating spinach salad by the bowlful. And when I say “bowl” I don’t mean cereal bowls, I’m talking huge serving bowl sizes that had me smacking my lips and sometimes wanting more.

I don’t know for sure, but it’s possible that avoiding prenantals through my first trimester might have played a large part in my lack of morning sickness. Ultimately this decision not to switch felt right for me, and I guess we’ll find out in two months whether I’m going to have birth defects to deal with on account of this unorthodox decision!

When I started working with Sarah she recommended several different supplements to me. I bought five different bottles, came home and googled all of the ingredients, and decided to never take one, only take one for a short period of time to see if I thought it was beneficial for me, and have taken the other three regularly for the duration of my pregnancy.

The supplement I chose to avoid is made by Standard Process, called Trace Minerals-B-12. Though I think vitamin B12 is important, I didn’t like the idea of ingesting 32 mg of Manganese (the amount found in the recommended daily dosage) as there is some information out there that suggests excess manganese can negatively affect brain development and memory retention. Again, a look at my Fitday data over time made me feel comfortable that I would get enough manganese and B-12 without the supplement.

The supplement I decided to take on a trial basis is called Symplex F, and contains extracts from bovine ovary, adrenal, pituitary, and thyroid glands. Standard Process, the company that produces the supplement, claims that the hormones found within help to balance female sexual hormones. Sarah recommended it to help keep mood swings at bay and a smile on my face. I thought it sounded iffy but I decided to try it out anyway, just in case. I didn’t see any change and so I stopped taking it once the bottle ran out.

I am currently taking three different supplements, and will continue taking them for a period of time after baby comes as well.

Tuna Omega-3 Oil made by Standard Process. We believe (both husband and I!) that DHA in particular is so important for building a healthy brain and TH frequently asks me if I’ve been taking my fish oils regularly. I’ve also been working to fit in three servings of fish each week as well. We want a smart baby! If you’re stressed about mercury levels in fish oil supplements I would suggest starting with this NYTimes article on that very subject.

Choline made by Standard Process is my second supplement, and has also shown positive correlation with healthy brain development. Can you tell how badly we want a baby with a nice sturdy brain?

Last but not least are the yellow horse pills, MultiStart Prenatals by Dr. Michael Murphy. Packed with just about every vitamin and mineral I can imagine needing, I think they work fine and after checking to make sure they didn’t contain anything at a level I was uncomfortable with I went ahead and stocked up on them. I’m sure there are hundreds of prenatal vitamins that would work just as well, I didn’t feel like doing any more looking though.

I’m curious, what vitamins did you take through your pregnancy and why?

*Yes, there really are people who like to speak up and criticize my every admission that I’m not perfect,  already. I thought it wouldn’t start until baby gets here, but they like to get an early start. Happily, there are many more of you who say nice things and make me feel like I’m doing a good job. I like you guys!

Revelation is how God talks to us. Through the Holy Ghost impressions are given and inspiration is received. We each have the ability to receive revelation for those we have stewardship over, so I can receive revelation regarding my own needs, the needs of my children, and even the needs of those who I have been called to teach and care for in my role as a visiting teacher (sisters in the LDS Church are paired up and given the names of other sisters in the ward to visit with at least once a month and care for). The bishop of our ward supplicates the Lord for revelation on how he should care for and direct the members of the ward. The prophet has the great responsibility of receiving revelation for the entire Church.

We can also receive inspiration for those in need, who may not fall under our stewardship at the time. I can’t think of a specific example from my own life, but I’ve heard of many wonderful instances where a family felt was overwhelmed and unable to pay their groceries, and a bag of food showed up on their doorstep. Or when a sister in the ward felt particularly overwhelmed while attempting to care for her children and another women showed up on her doorstep unasked and tidied up the house and helped care for the children. I believe God often inspires us to be the angels on earth that others need in times of trial.

The scriptures sometimes speak of visions, dreams, and visitations by angels, marvelous and glorious events that not everyone will experience in their lifetime. I know that in my own life, revelation is always much quieter, much more subtle. I must be actively working to draw as close to the Lord as possible if I want to hear the whisperings He sends through the power of the Holy Ghost. If a person is looking for guidance from God sometimes it may be difficult to know how to begin looking for it. LDS.org has a wonderful list of things that can be done to receive more guidance from the Holy Ghost:

Pray for guidance. The Lord said, “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: for every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened” (Matthew 7:7–8). In order to find and receive, we must seek and ask.

Be reverent. Reverence is profound respect and love. When we are reverent and peaceful, we invite revelation. Even when everything around us is in commotion, we can have a reverent attitude and be prepared to receive guidance from the Lord.

Be humble.Humility is closely related to reverence. When we are humble, we recognize our dependence on the Lord.

Keep the commandments. When we keep the commandments, we are prepared to receive, recognize, and follow the promptings of the Holy Ghost.

Partake of the sacrament worthily. The sacramental prayers teach how to receive the constant companionship of the Holy Spirit. When we partake of the sacrament, we witness to God that we are willing to take upon ourselves the name of His Son and that we will always remember Him and keep His commandments. Our Heavenly Father promises that when we keep these covenants, we will always have the Spirit to be with us. (See D&C 20:77, 79.)

Study the scriptures every day. As we diligently study the scriptures, we learn from the examples of men and women whose lives have been blessed as they have followed the Lord’s revealed will. We also become more receptive to the Holy Ghost in our own lives. As we read and ponder, we may receive revelation about how a certain scripture passage applies to us or about anything else the Lord desires to communicate to us.

Take time to ponder. When we take time to ponder the truths of the gospel, we open our mind and heart to the guiding influence of the Holy Ghost (see 1 Nephi 11:1; D&C 76:19; 138:1–11). Pondering takes our thoughts from the trivial things of the world, helping us gain a more eternal perspective and bringing us closer to the Spirit.

When seeking specific guidance, we should study the matter out in our minds. At times the Lord’s communication will come only after we have studied a matter out in our minds.

Patiently seek God’s will. God reveals Himself “in his own time, and in his own way, and according to his own will” (see D&C 88:63–68). Revelation will often come line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little. We should be patient and trust in the Lord’s timing

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is built upon the idea that God still speaks to His children today, that He still has so much more He wants us to learn. Through the power of revelation Joseph Smith brought forth an ancient record called the Book of Mormon, a record of His children living in Ancient America, containing messages of hope, peace, joy, trials and tribulations similar to those found in the Bible. As LDS members we frequently use the term “modern revelation” to speak of official pronouncements from Church leaders, like those found in the book known as the Doctrine and Covenants and addresses from General Conference. We sustain our leaders as men called by God to serve in those capacities and believe that it is their stewardship to receive revelation for the areas which they have been called to preside over.

I am frequently asked why I choose to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Why do I believe that this is the same Church Jesus Christ founded upon the earth 2000 years ago? The power of personal revelation. I read the words of the leaders I believe are stewards over the earth today, just as great men from the Bible like Moses and Noah and Enoch were given responsibility over God’s children, and the Spirit of the Lord testifies to me that what I am reading is the truth. That following the teachings of the men who have guided the Church from the time of Joseph Smith until now (and continuing on into the future) will bring me not just happiness, but eternal joy, and that by following their teachings I can return to live with my Father in Heaven once again.

Craft It Forward Partners

Random.org chose Laura, Ellie, Liz, Natalie, and Amy to be the (lucky?) ladies to receive something from me. (If you aren’t sure if you are one of those ladies, click on the names to be taken to the winning comment.) If you are one of those people and you don’t receive an email from me in the next week or so… email me with your address.

So many of you commented and said you would like to participate, if a few of you would be interested in starting your own Craft It Forward chain (you won’t get anything, but you’ll send something out to 5 people and hope it continues moving forward) email me and we’ll start a new post for those who are interested to comment once again. Fun!

Hair

I splurged and went to a real salon and had my hair dyed this week. I love it, and I admit to being hooked to plunking down a wad of cash once again. I thought I was past that! Somehow the stylist tricked me into agreeing to come back in 4 weeks to do it all over again (something about demi-permanent and such). I tried to take a before-and-after photo but in the awful light of my bedroom it looks exactly the same. TH said he could tell a difference though so it must look better. Maternity photos are next week!

Temple

I emailed the temple and told them I think I’m done serving. It’s something I’ve been wavering back and forth on for several weeks now, but I’ve been having a bit of a rough time lately and I’m no longer dependable enough to work a 5 hour shift (most of it standing). I feel sad and a bit flaky but I’m grateful for the opportunity I had and the things I’ve learned. Now, going as a regular patron for less than 2 hours won’t seem so hard anymore!

Jenna Cole in Austin

I would like to go to Austin within the next few weeks. Do you know anyone who might like to have me take their picture?

School

I took a final yesterday, which means I am one credit closer to graduating. I have no motivation, I don’t care, my degree means nothing to me. As I have told That Husband many times I just want to take care of baby, blog, and run my business. His parents offered me a cash reward for finishing though (a very substantial and gracious reward!) and today while I was forcing myself to write essays in the testing center I thought about how I would spend the money. The gift I came up with for myself is the only thing that will see me through to the end. I’ll tell you what it is when I’m a bit closer to the finish line.

Hoodies/Pants/Shirts

Once upon a time I embarked on a project, and then the project didn’t get done and now I’m stuck with some items I have no use for. I’m hoping there is a chance I might be able to sell them through my blog. The prices you see below include shipping (domestic only, if you are international and you want to purchase some you’ll need to pay the cost of getting them to you!) and are lower than you can find through any of the Google Shopping retailers. If you need some lounge wear, this is a great deal, and if you purchase more than one item I’ll lower your total cost. You’ve seen the hoodie and pants before if you read That Bride, as I wore them to get ready the morning of my wedding! These are all brand new, never worn, just a bit wrinkly from sitting in my closet for so long.

HYP Brand Lounge Pants, $15

1 Large, White

1 Small, Gray

1 Medium, Gray

1 Large, Gray

American Apparel Hoodie, $25 (I’m pretty sure this one retails for $42 on the AA website)

5 Medium, White

American Apparel Summer T, $12 (Very sheer, and retails for $21 on the AA site)

2 Medium, White

Canon Rebel XT

Now that I have my beloved Mark II my 50D has become my backup body and I don’t have any use for this Canon Rebel XT. I bought it used off of Craigslist and it comes with the body, an 18-55mm IS lens, two chargers, three batteries, and all original packaging. I was pulling things out of my photo closet when the body was knocked to the floor (no lens was on it) and the focusing mirror stopped flipping up correctly. I took it in to have it fixed (pricey ) but that means you are getting a camera that has been recently serviced and cleaned and in great working order! Asking $325.

Canon 70-200 2.8L IS USM

It’s time for me to get rid of this lens so I can buy this one. UV filter from day one, used-in-box with all original packaging, used a handful of times and in like new condition. $1550.

Ask Me Anything Moderating

I really didn’t want to do it. I wanted to keep a policy similar to the That Wife commenting rules, where I only censor comments that attack others, use foul language, or link to anti-Mormon sites, but that’s just not going to be possible. I’ve spent a lot of time wondering why the haters seem to love to attack me so viciously on this site in particular. I’m blogging over here, every single day and if they really want to speak up they have plenty of opportunities to voice their opinions. I think the difference between here and there, is that That Wife is a community, where they likely realize that out-of-line, ridiculous, fearmongering will cause others to speak up and tell them to go away unless they have something constructive to say. On the Formspring site though, I think they feed off of the me versus them aspect of it. It’s not a community or a discussion, it’s a chance to corner me and pin me down and harp on me over and over and over and over, even though they aren’t trying to get anywhere with their “debate”, they just want to try make me look and feel stupid! So I’m going to start deleting questions that do nothing other than attack me, my beliefs, my husband, my relationships, my family, and everything else they’ve managed to think of thus far. That doesn’t mean I won’t be answering hard questions though, so please feel free to submit. I think you probably know if you’re asking your question out of curiosity or a desire to pummel my self-esteem into the ground. I should be able to tell the difference as well.

Before I delete them though, I thought you might enjoy seeing what they’ve managed to come up with. If you ask something like this, you won’t see me answering it, ever.

TH doesn’t think the first one is rude, but I think it was meant to be as I’m kind of thinking these first three were asked by the same person (I haven’t answered any of them so how could they know about the forehead size thing?) Unless you all are secretly discussing it behind my back… Probably in the secret Yahoo group dedicated to hating me!

It will be fascinating to see how my Brit Lit 1, American Lit 1, Jr. Tolkien&C.S. Lewis, Persuasive Writing, Senior Thesis, and Italian 202 classes turn me from a stupid, backwards person into whatever this questioner thinks they will. Sounds like I’ll be getting more than my moneys worth out of those classes!

This is rude to me AND my mother, and actually, it’s quite rude to all of the people who are dealing with the actual effects of FAS. It’s a serious thing!

The next two are along the same vein. This is why I think they like Formspring for the isolation they think they are pressing upon me, because if they really wanted to actually talk about this they easily could have contributed to the To Judge? post like everyone else did.

This one had to be edited for naughty language. I think the many, many great comments on that post proved that not everyone condemns me as such. Thanks again to all of those who contributed to the discussion in some way! Anonymous questioner… no thanks for you! (You probably wouldn’t get any soup either.)

And the most appalling of them all. TH hasn’t traveled in months so he must be going crazy lately! I wonder if they really know where he works? This one has been one of our favorites because if you know my husband AT ALL it’s so completely ridiculous. The intent here was obviously to plant seeds of doubt and ruin my relationship with my husband, but we actually think it’s quite funny and have had several giggle about it together!

All that aside, there are so many questions that I love and can’t wait to get to sitting in my inbox! I’m learning a lot about myself in the process of answering them, and I always get excited to see what topics you guys are going to cover next. Plus, I’ve realized that I’ll never, ever have the excuse that I have “nothing to post about” (wait, have I ever thought that?) because there are hundreds of possible posts that could be written based on the questions you have asked! If you ever see something that you would like me to expand on, drop me an email and let me know what the question was!

Oh, and one last thing. If you know TH’s real name (or his last name) I’ll be deleting your question if you use it. Just substitute TH for S—- and you are good to go!

And to end things I leave you with a new Costco favorite, Sun-Rype Mini Bites. 100% fruit and oh-so-chewy and delicious. Baby will love them too I’m sure!

Kate was sweet enough to offer up one winner a chance to choose one of three hair lovely accessories to spice up her wardrobe, The Pretty Lady, The Kelly, or The White Truffle. Valentines day is coming up my friends, and Kate told me she will ship this out in time for you to go out on the town on the 14th!* I have the perfect maternity dress for The Kelly, which is what I would be choosing if I could enter.

The Pretty Lady

The Kelly

The White Truffle

There are a few different ways for you to enter:

1. One entry when you comment below and tell us which one piece of the three you would like to have shipped to you if you win.

2. One entry when you tweet about this giveaway. You must include both a link to this post AND Kate’s shop in your tweet. Leave a comment below with a direct link to your tweet.

3. One entry for visiting Kate’s shop and hearting her entire shop or your favorite item. Leave a comment below letting me know what you hearted!

4. TWO entries for blogging about the giveaway. You must include both a link to this post AND Kate’s shop in your post if you would like to receive your two entries. Leave a comment below with a link to your post.

Contest closes at 11:59 pm on Monday, February 8th 2010. Good luck!

*Giveaway only open to those who can provide a US shipping address. Sorry international readers!

Appointment number 4 was my one-hour glucose screening gestational diabetes test, a huge deal for me because really high numbers could mean a transfer out of Sarah’s care and the end of my home birth hopes. I spent hours reading up online on all kinds of opinions surrounding what could be done to achieve the best results possible. It wasn’t about cheating the test, it was about staying away from the edge if I was tiptoeing close to it. If I really had gestational diabetes and the baby was at risk I don’t think there is anything I can do to avoid a hospital birth, and at that point I wouldn’t want to. If baby isn’t processing insulin properly s/he needs medical care. But I do think that diet can have mild effect on test results and so for the weeks leading up to the test I worked extra hard to limit my carbs, which actually felt really nice after a Christmas season of indulgence. In the days before I went on extra long walks to burn off as much sucrose (or is it glucose? I always mix the two up) as possible and drank water like it was going out of style. I’ll never know whether or not my actions made a difference on the test results but the intense focus on diet, exercise, and hydration definitely had a positive influence on some of my overall habits so I’m glad I did it.

The night before the test I grabbed a few nuts each time I got up to go to the bathroom, in hopes that it would keep my levels from spiking when I ate breakfast in the morning. For breakfast ate 4 whole eggs and 2 slices of bacon (no dairy), and then right at 9:30 am I measured out a glass of apple juice equivalent to 50 grams of sugar (my math skills are so bad I had to have TH do the calculations for me!) and downed it right before I walked out the door. My drive to the birth center was about 30 minutes, my appointment was about 30, and at 10:30 am she got the needle out and drew my blood. One reason I love Sarah? She *rocks* at drawing blood. The needle she uses is tiny, she gets the vein on the first try every time, and she’s lightning fast. I got a bit dizzy after it was over so it was a good thing I had a Larabar in my purse. Though I hate having my blood drawn I don’t usually get lightheaded like that. Another anomaly I can chalk up to the strange state known as pregnancy?

My appointment was on a Thursday and on Friday evening I texted her to find out if she knew the results yet. Her reply of “All is well” made my weekend! And it meant I could make my friend a birthday cake (that Clementine cake I posted last week) without feeling guilty that baby and I were struggling with each fingerful of batter I grabbed. Now that I’ve passed the gauntlet I let myself have some toast with my eggs in the morning, or a bowl of cereal. It feels like quite an indulgence after days and days of only bacon and eggs!

Pregnancy overall has still been really easy for me, so I didn’t have much else to talk about. I mentioned the redness in my legs in an earlier post, which I thought was a rash, but a doctor friend of mine took a look and unofficially diagnosed it as vascular changes from being pregnant, possibly from my uterus pressing on my pelvic vessels. If I elevate my legs, two minutes after putting them up my awful looking stumps turn fair and smooth once again. It’s really amazing actually! I have some swelling in my calves/feet each night but I’m still wearing my engagement ring so it hasn’t extended to my upper body at all. My blood pressure is still looking great, 97/70 and baby’s heart was thumping firmly at 144 bpm. I used the little strip to test all of my different levels and my consistently elevated leukocytes have Sarah a little worried. I’m going to pick up some cranberry pills and try to increase my water intake even more. I feel like I always have a mug in hand and straw to my lips already!

The most exciting thing about this appointment? My weight gain has slowed. FINALLY. My average has been close to 2 lbs/week throughout my pregnancy, but in the three weeks between appointment 3 and appointment 4 I only gained 3 lbs, and my home scale confirms that I’ve stayed at a similar pace since then. Early in my pregnancy I went through periods where I felt sick if I wasn’t eating constantly (or what felt like constantly) so I know my caloric intake has naturally decreased. My diet hasn’t changed although I have been working to make time spent walking a regular occurrence during my week.

I still haven’t had the Rhogam shot because That Husband still hasn’t had time to get his blood tested. Sarah was fine with me choosing to delay it, or not even get it at all if that’s what we want. If TH tests RH-Positive I’m going to get the shot for sure, but I don’t want it otherwise. I hope he can get the time to have his blood drawn within the next week. After that, my last big hurdle is pre-ecclampsia. As long as my blood pressure stays in an acceptable range I should be able to welcome baby into the world in our living room come April!

I wish we knew. As of this writing we don’t have a name picked out, or really even any top contenders. Even if we did though… we would probably pretend we didn’t. I learned very early on that sharing names you like is a bad idea. Unless you make it clear that the name you are sharing is THE name, the one you will grace your child with, people close to you aren’t afraid to let you know what they really think. I’m guessing in hopes that they can influence one way or another? Barring a few very close friends who can give the kind of feedback we think is important (initial reaction, bully possibilities, best spelling, etc) we won’t publicly be revealing our final choice until baby is officially christened.

We’re working on choosing at least one male and one female favorite, although we would prefer having two of each that we like in case one doesn’t “fit”. The baby will be given an English-style first name, Polish middle name, and That Husband’s last name. (Yep, I’m still Jenna Andersen, and it looks like I’m going to stay that way!) Once we’ve chosen our favorite first names we’ll ask his family for some options from TH’s family tree, and work to find a combination that sounds perfect to us.

The reason we’ve made scarcely any progress is because our naming criteria are pretty specific (okay, mine are REALLY specific) and really different from each other

That Wife:

Theme

• I want to pick a “theme” now and stick with it. Whether it’s a time period, type (literary names maybe?), people who profoundly changed history in some way, family names, or pattern, I want all of my children to have names that feel like they go together in some way.

Not popular in recent years

• I was always really excited to find another girl named Jenna, because the name was *just* popular enough to be used throughout the US, but not enough that I was forced to go through school as Jenna A to distinguish me from all of the other girls with the same name. Anyone born in the 80’s named Jessica, Jennifer, or Amanda would not have been so lucky. Granted I was from a small town so the likelihood of sharing a name with someone were few already, but we did have a Heather B and Heather D in my graduating class of 70 kids, meaning choosing anything within the top 10 for that decade is probably a bad idea no matter where you live.

Not used by other people in my life (He has rejected names for this reason as well)

• I tend to reject a lot of names based on who I knew in the past that shared it. “That one’s out because I didn’t like her very much in high school,” I’ll tell TH. Or because the nickname of the name in question was also the name of my high school boyfriend. Or because the only person I’ve ever know with that name rolled marijuana cigarettes in the back of our Washington State history class.

That Husband:

Not recently made up (for we realize that most names were made up at some point).

• What’s a made up name? Watch one episode of America’s Next Top Model and you’ll be overwhelmed with your choices. Over the past few years the show has featured contestants named: Kesse, Jenascia, Norelle, Keenyah, Furonda, Nikeysha, Kortnie and Ambreal. Either completely new to the world within X number of years or spelled in a way that no one would ever guess, names in this vein are out for us.

Sounds good in Polish

• This criteria is toughest for me because I have absolutely no idea what is universally thought to sound awful in his native tongue. I do know that we are avoiding boy names that end in “a”, like Dakota, Luca, and Joshua, because names that end with “a” are girls names (always) in Polish. For girls, “r” endings are out, like Jennifer, Heather, and Summer. Otherwise I ask on a case-by-case basis to figure out what the Bertha and Gomer baby names of the Polish language are. (i.e. names that are pretty widely accepted as a bad idea in the states.)

I tend to like grandpa/grandma names, like Stella, Mabel, Hazel, Howard, Perry, and Willis. He has suggested Annie but I keep shooting it down. We agree on so few names that this poor little creature kicking at my rips doesn’t even have a nickname! We just call him/her Baby.

Lately I’ve been on a family name kick, after spending some time reading in the Bible and Book of Mormon. The way they talk about names, as heirlooms to be passed down or as mediums to inspire greatness, really made me want to seek out a name that would have some kind of story behind it. The Angel Moroni who revealed the Book of Mormon to Joseph Smith was named for Captain Moroni, a man described in this way: if all men had been, and were, and ever would be, like unto Moroni, behold, the very powers of hell would have been shaken forever; yea, the devil would never have power over the hearts of the children of men. I spent some time on a site for LDS members called Family Search, filled with information about hundreds of my ancestors, on some sides going back as far as 14 generations! (And I got tired of expanding eventually so it might go even farther.) I wrote down my favorites and have been working on listing them off for That Husband to see if there are any we can agree upon, which isn’t many.

If we can’t find something from my family we agree on, I’d like to find a name that comes with a story or significant meaning, so we can tell our child a reason behind our choice other than “We thought it was cute.” Who knows though, it’s possible I may fall in love with a completely random moniker that has no linguistical significance whatsoever. Even if we don’t choose a family name for the first name I hope to pull from That Husband’s family history for the middle.

I think the question I’ve been asked most is whether we will be sharing the name publicly. As with That Husbands name, we’ll be working to make sure that the baby’s name isn’t “googleable”, at least in relation to this blog. If you read regularly you’ll know That 1’s name through photos and (possibly) video as we’ll only be working to avoid text, not other mediums. I’ll be referring to baby as either That 1 (which I think sounds a bit awkward so I probably won’t stick with it) or the English name for his/her Polish middle name in my posts. The Polish thing sounds confusing I know, but only when I describe it so abstractly. For example, Lucja is the name of one of TH’s grandmas, and if that was a middle name we chose the baby’s blog name would be Lucy. I’m pretty proud of myself for coming up with that clever solution.

For those who are playing the name game as well, I’ve found a few favorite websites for brainstorming ideas:

http://www.babynamewizard.com/voyager: One of my criteria as noted above is that a name not be really popular, and I double check every option on Name Voyager to see how it is trending and when it peaked. I tend to eliminate anything that’s rising rapidly or currently sitting at a rank of 300 or less.

http://www.nymbler.com/: Plug in your favorites and Nymbler will suggest similar names.

http://www.whatalovelyname.com/: See name possibilities based on personality traits, cultural backgrounds, names of famous babies, and options inspired by pop-culture favorites like Star Wars and Harry Potter.

Now that you know all of our criteria, you can either…

A. Suggest options you think might work (although to fulfill part of TH’s rules you might have to be fluent in Polish!)

B. Give one boy suggestion and one girl suggestion for what you think we’ll name the baby. If you’re right you can email me in April and I’ll send you a little something special for being such a smarty pants. If you suggest more than one name for each gender no special thing for you though. You’d get it right eventually if you tried enough options.

Family and close friends are free to guess all they want because I guarantee you no one actually knows what names we are going to end up with, that’s how far we are from picking something!

Source

I’ve had the word judge thrown my way so many times that I realize I’m not sure I even know what it means anymore! So I looked it up on dictionary.com:

–verb (used with object)

6.	to pass legal judgment on; pass sentence on (a person): The court judged him guilty.

7.	to hear evidence or legal arguments in (a case) in order to pass judgment; adjudicate; try: The Supreme Court is judging that case.

8.	to form a judgment or opinion of; decide upon critically: You can’t judge a book by its cover.

9.	to decide or settle authoritatively; adjudge: The censor judged the book obscene and forbade its sale.

10.	to infer, think, or hold as an opinion; conclude about or assess: He judged her to be correct.

11.	to make a careful guess about; estimate: We judged the distance to be about four miles.

12.	(of the ancient Hebrew judges) to govern.

–verb (used without object)

13.	to act as a judge; pass judgment: No one would judge between us.

14.	to form an opinion or estimate: I have heard the evidence and will judge accordingly.

15.	to make a mental judgment.

Interestingly, none of these definitions seem to have the negative connotations I was expecting. Numbers 8, 9, 10, and 11 are particularly relevant to this discussion I think, as they all indicate that to judge someone/something is simply to make up your mind one way or another. Judging is coming to a conclusion.

Does this mean that commenters and readers would simply like me to stop making decisions or coming to conclusions? This is something you and I do all day long, from the menial decisions surrounding what we would like to eat, where, and when, to the significant choices that deeply affect our lives. Maybe what they/you/I/we mean when we talk about how someone is judging us/being judgmental we really mean that we feel condemned. We not only feel like they came to a conclusion and now hold an opinion, we are convinced that their conclusion belittles/criticizes/denounce/disapproves of/finds fault with/punishes/reproaches/or sentences us.

Today I’m hoping that we can engage in a bit of discussion surrounding the topic of judging. I’ve certainly made mistakes in the past, and will continue to make them, but I work hard to learn from them and figure out how to word my posts so that my sentences don’t come off as condemnation. I’m always going to have opinions, and I enjoy communicating them so publicly, but as I wade into the mommy blogging world I’m realizing that this is a two way street. Just as I feel that I have a responsibility to edit for tone and consider how my message will be interpreted by different viewpoints, I think the reader also has a responsibility to step back and say “Just because this writer thinks soda is addicting and inhibits weight loss doesn’t mean she thinks I am a fat addict.” X does not always equal Y. If I write that I think c-sections should be a last resort due to possible dangerous complications for mother and higher NICU admission rates for baby, I’m not condemning you as a bad person for having one. I judge that vaginal birth, if at all possible, is best, and I don’t think there is any harm in holding that opinion. Judgement does not equal condemnation.

I’d love to see some discussion in the comments regarding what makes you feel condemned. If the problem is with my writing, maybe you could point me toward an opinionated blogger who holds opposing viewpoints that doesn’t make you feel the way I do? What kind of language/phrases make you feel judged in a negative way?

Jessica (no blog for me to link to) was a first time commenter and is also the winner. Guess it was a good time to come out of hiding and comment eh?

If you still haven’t donated to help in Haiti yet I urge you to do some research and pick a charity you feel comfortable giving to. The news reports are so sad. They really need our help!

I hope you have a nice spot to place this print Jessica, I’m sure it’s going to look great in your home.

It’s possible that with some incredible prioritization and time management skills that I could fit all of these things into my life, but could I be the best at all of them? No way. There are some areas in life where we are the best, others where we are better, and some where we just have to settle for good. If we want to live a balanced and varied life we cannot be the best at everything we try to do.

That’s not so hard to accept, right? There are times where settling for mediocrity is necessary if we want to survive without finding ourselves curled up into a ball under the covers, fingernails chewed to the quick and tears streaming down our face because we just. can’t. survive. another. day. like. this.

Unfortunately defining what is best in any given situation is not so easy, because as I see it there are two types of best. The first is largely tied to science and theories and hypothesis and statistics and proof. This best (which I will call the “science best”) consists of truths/logics that are widely accepted and adhered to. No infants riding unrestrained in a car, for example. The absolute best thing you can do for your baby when riding in a car is to restrain them properly in an infant car seat. Keeping babies on their backs while sleeping is another example of a “science best”. The data available to us today shows that this action can drastically lower your chances of dealing with the devastating effect of SIDS. Though there will always be those who can argue anecdotally that doing things differently is best for them, they are the exception rather than the rule, and if we are looking at things objectively I think “”science best”" should be judged based on what delivers positive results for the majority, not the minority.

The other type of best is a lot tougher though, the “personal best”. “Personal bests” deals with practices that don’t have solid data to back them up (or maybe there is solid data, but it’s so strong for both sides of the argument that choosing one side or the other becomes something that should be evaluated individually). In parenting, “personal bests” include deciding between a sling or stroller to carry baby, which bottle to feed with, what bedtime is best for your child, and so many other choices.

Sometimes you hear person A arguing that they have the “science best” and that person B is using the “personal best” to justify their actions. The debate surrounding the safety of home birth is a prime example of this and is unfortunately just a part of life. At some point we just have to say “I respectfully disagree” without turning to hurtful attacks to get a point across.

I’ve learned recently of a beloved phrase in America, involving the word best:

The best you can do is what is best for you.

Or some other equivalent of the phrase (do what is best for you, do what is best for your family, all that matters is that you do your best). Is this grouping of words as beloved in other countries as it is here? It’s the ultimate catch-all! Whether we don’t know what to say, or we don’t want to disagree, or want to lend support, or we agree with the reasoning, or we are just trying to be a shoulder to lean on we toss this phrase out to the point where I think the meaning has been twisted to mean “Whatever you think is best IS best“. In some cases, like with the “personal bests”, this is most definitely true. You figure out what works best for you, and you go for it, no matter whether others determine differently.

The problem with this phrase is that we sometimes use it as justification when we feel guilty for choosing something other what can be classified as “science best”. Breastfeeding is a perfect example of this. The American Academy of Pediatrics, the American Medical Association, the American Dietetic Association, and the World Health Organization (and many, many other respected organizations) all agree that breastfeeding is best for babies. Breast is best has become a bit of a rally cry for breastfeeding advocates, but some fight for opposing viewpoints because it’s tough to hear that choosing different may not result in the cream of the crop results we wish we could always achieve. Many formula feeding mothers feel judged when it is suggested that the choice to use formula isn’t the best thing they can do for their baby. As will possibly be the case with myself, for some breastfeeding isn’t an option due to biological/emotional/economical reasons. Though we may determine that breastfeeding isn’t the best choice for us, statements by others reiterating the evidence that breast is best do not need to be taken as a personal attack.

We want to always provide what is best for our babies, we want to always make the best choices in life, but it’s not possible to always do so. Sometimes we do what is better, and other times we do what is good. The women who chooses good or better this time around when it comes to nourishing her infant isn’t bad. The mother who breastfeeds may also be the mom who puts Sprite in her toddler’s sippy cup, and the mother who chooses formula may be the one who further down the road takes the time to get a full serving of fruits and vegetables in her child’s mouth every single day. Best, better, good, and sometimes even bad, our choices through life are always going to be all over the board.

I’m going to keep writing posts about what I have determined are “science bests” and “personal bests” (for who would want to read a blog with posts detailing information and attempts at mediocrity?).  But when I say I think something is best, I don’t necessarily mean the alternative(s) are bad, or that choosing something other than best makes you a horrible person. Sometimes you are indeed the exception to the rule for whatever reason, other times we disagree because I think I’ve found a “science best”, and you consider it a “personal best”. I freely admit that there are areas in life where I choose good rather than better or best, and I think I would find far less anger and hurt in my comments section if others agreed to do the same.  I think we all could benefit from developing our ability to step back and say “Today I chose good, and I’m okay with that. Yesterday I chose best. Tomorrow I’m going to work to do better.”

Life is a sum of all your choices. Albert Camus

LDS readers likely have the voice of Elder Oaks bouncing around in their head due to this talk presented in general conference in 2007. I am in now way trying to say we shouldn’t follow his counsel and I am constantly working to reevaluate and figure out what areas I can take from good, to better, to best. And keep them that way. Happily, living the teachings of the Gospel is a little more cut and dried than I’ve found most parenting and lifestyle decisions to be!

It’s 30 degrees outside in Dallas today (I realize no one thinks that is a big deal, but remember, I’ll be paying my dues this summer!), and so receiving this gorgeous handmade checkered scarf from Julie was a particularly sweet treat. I’m pretty sure a gift like this doubled the coolness quotient of my wardrobe.

Then I can finally stay on top of Resolution #5 on my list**.

*And by “real” I mean the kind you have come to expect from me, either photos summaries of my rare adventures, photo tips, birth/pregnancy mumbo-jumbo, or my views on life that ultimately lead to at least 10 different people feeling like I have personally insulted them, their mother, and their pet goldfish Albert.

**In other news, I think I have models for my concept shoot. And some ideas!

I took Kelly’s idea for a giveaway and modified it a bit. To enter:

1. You must be living within the US. (Sorry international readers, I wish shipping weren’t so expensive!)

2. You must visit the website for either Children in Need or Partners in Health and make a donation, however great or small. Millions have been raised through $10 text message donations already, which I think powerfully illustrates how effective even the smallest donation can be.

3. Only donations made from this point forward, to these specific charities, are eligible for an entry. The goal is to inspire people to contribute more than they already have.

4. You must come back here and comment below to let me know you donated. Don’t comment if you intend to donate, only if you have done so. No need to tell how much you gave, just let me know you’ve already done so.

5. Spread the word! For each person that comments below to say they were referred here by you, you’ll friend will get one entry, and you’ll be entered another time. There’s no limit on the number of entries you can receive this way!

6. Entries will be accepted through January 31st, 11:59 pm. I’ll be doing a drawing to choose the winner on February 1st and I’ll announce the winner a week from today.

I am most certainly going to get flack from someone about choosing to only accept entries from certain charities. That’s okay, if you don’t want to donate to Children in Need or Partners in Health, simply don’t enter! Based on suggestions from friends and the research I’ve done I think these are two fantastic charities that could really use some help. I chose Children in Need because it’s a children focused non-profit established in 2001 with a long time presence in Haiti that promises 100% of the donations will go toward emergency response efforts in Haiti. Partners in Health because it’s a health care focused non-profit that has been in Haiti for 20 years and according to Charity Navigator only spends 5.1% of expenses on administration/fundraising. If you have already donated, I hope that this giveaway might spur you to give just a little bit more. If you haven’t, now is your chance!

Though I freely admit to knowing absolutely nothing about taxes and tax deductions, the New York Times tells me that donations to Haiti may be tax deductible for 2009. That Husband and I have already donated from the family budget, but writing this post has inspired me to give some money from my personal budget as well. I guess this post was a success even if I’m the only one who does so.

*You can enter Kelly’s giveaway until the 29th of January!

P.S.-Happy Birthday to my little brother, who passed away 17 years ago today. I hope I’m doing my part to make him proud.

Even if I did drink coffee or wine I think I probably would have abstained during my pregnancy. Better safe than sorry when it comes to those two substances I think! I admit to eating frozen yogurt while pregnant (although I’m a bit hesitant about this one as I’ve read more into the reasons behind it and I do believe that most machines I’m using to dispense my treat are quite filthy and germ infested), eating deli meat that I judged to be fresh, and indulging in all of the pasteurized soft cheese I wanted over Christmas. Be proactive about your own healthcare! Learn why the guidelines are in place! Drink a glass of wine if you don’t feel like the research you’ve done has proven the side effects you’ve been told are a guarantee. Blah, blah blah, you’ve come to expect this kind of talk from me.

Source

What boggles my mind is that we will turn to one pregnant woman and judge her for having a glass of wine or a cup of coffee, and then turn to the next and encourage her in her efforts to down a slice of chocolate cake as big as her head. “You deserve it!”, the masses purr in the chocolate cake eaters ear, even though excessive amounts of both chocolate cake and a cup of coffee can be harmful to both the body of the woman and her baby. Eating junk is a bad idea pretty much always, but why would we want to be a part of galvanizing a pregnant woman into indulging even more often than normal when she is feeding both herself and her baby whatever crosses her lips for 40 weeks?

I admit to goading this response on a bit as I find it fascinating. I tweet  ”I want to make no bake cookies. Husband accuses me of taking things a bit too far now that I know I don’t gave GD. I plead the fifth.”*, and I receive several replies telling me to indulge because I’m pregnant. This is not an isolated occurrence either. Once your pregnancy is public any comment about desiring an indulgent treat is sure to elicit reactions along similar lines. Why are we encouraging this, ever? If your sick friend or your overweight friend were to express the same desires would you be telling them to “live it up” as well?

The best response I receive to the tweet above came from reader Cécy: “Good to hear you’ve got the thumbs up. You could make cookies, eat one and give out the rest in celebration.” Maybe the difference between her and other commenters is that she is French? Whatever it is, I think Cécy has the right idea. Cécy is the kind of friend I’d like to have around post baby too, as encouragement like hers would likely mean I reach my post-pregnancy weight and health goals much faster, thus ensuring the timely return of the positive thoughts surrounding my body image. I want that so much more than I want a batch of no bake cookies!

Instead of encouraging indulgence or forbidding altogether, let’s encourage moderation in all things. I know of no diet that suggests nachos, doughnuts, burritos swimming in grease, fast food, chocolate cake, cookies, ice cream, or any other food commonly regarded as “junk” to be a good idea. When your pregnant friend suggests the lava chocolate ice cream hot fudge indulgence when you are out to eat, suggest she split it with you (wouldn’t you suggest that very thing if she weren’t pregnant?) instead of laughing and telling her to order all of the dessert she wants since she is on the Pregnancy Diet. When she talks about wanting chocolate and ice cream for breakfast lunch and dinner, commiserate by sharing your own cravings and praise her for doing such a wonderful job of growing a fetus inside her belly, don’t galvanize her efforts to indulge in something she and her sweet baby most certainly don’t need.

Let’s support each other, whether pregnant or not, in our efforts to be healthier, and thus happier. It’s possible that the indulgence now could cause your child problems farther down the road, something I am sure we all would like to avoid.

And if you can’t thing of a single thing to say that doesn’t sound like a judgment, raise your eyebrows, purse your lips together and say “mmmmmmm”. But let’s stop with the facilitating.

*Yes! I don’t have GD. I’ll write all about my midwife appointment (and all of the stuff I did to prepare for the test) this week.

Glazed Clementine Chiffon Cake for a friend’s birthday. Delicious, except I added in 7 medium egg whites because I didn’t have 6 large egg whites. I thought it tasted a bit eggy so I wish I would have stuck with 6 medium and called it good. Citrus fruit is cheap right now (I bought the cheapest citrus I could find, tangerines I believe, instead of clementines) and the glaze on top was really tangy and sweet.

And this weekend That Husband and I have been devouring the Baked Spaghetti I made. No picture because taking a good picture of a casserole is almost impossible. I used whole wheat spaghetti noodles, added in chicken and finely diced mushrooms, used less spaghetti sauce then it called for (probably half the amount) omitted the french fried onions, and sprinkled cheddar cheese on top instead of parmesan. It’s so good that TH has asked me several times if I’m going to make it again, since I rarely make the same dish twice (too many options out there for me to stick with one!). I don’t really like spaghetti normally, too much tomato, but I loved this dish, probably because of the cream cheese. I highly, highly recommend it.

Posts

Why It Is Sometimes So Hard to Understand the OT-The author of this post, Jim F, spends some time speaking about differences between Hebrew thinking and our own.

Secrets of the patriarch’s bear flag-An interesting story about the first American flag flown over Los Angeles.

Haiti earthquake inspires compassion-How the Church has responded to the crisis in Haiti.

We Should Be Mormons-A wonderful, beautifully written post about how science and faith can work together in our belief system.

Baby Born at Tonga Temple-My favorite post of the month. LDS endowed members will likely also be as stunned as I was to read that the woman who delivered the child got up and walked right into her session directly after! I of course, also love the author’s reference to the LDS belief that the home can be as sacred as a temple. I sincerely hope that my birth will be a sacred experience.

“Not lucky, blessed”-When we hear of hardships others around the world are experiencing it can be difficult to come to terms with how unequal it all feels. The author of this post reminds us that we aren’t lucky, we’re blessed by the Lord and should acknowledge it as such.

The Black Hole-Excellent post on how we might adjust our approach to teaching our children about the dangers of pornography.

First Presidency Appeals to Church Members to Help People in Haiti-The leaders of the Church are asking us to do more, both with our monetary contributions and our faith.

Talk

To Acquire Spiritual Guidance-Elder Scott talks about some very personal experiences he has had with receiving personal revelation from the Lord. Reading this really made me think about how I can do a better job of listening to what the Lord would like to say to me, rather than telling Him what I need in my life.

BOOK

The Savior & The Serpent- The book I chose to focus on finishing this month per my New Years Resolution to read one Church related non-fiction book per month. Alonzo Gaskill was my favorite religion professor at BYU, and it’s likely that my February book choice will be written by him as well. I absolutely cannot recommend this book enough to anyone who is interested in an LDS interpretation of one of the most important events in human history, The Fall of Adam. The first section covers the LDS view of The Fall, labeling it as commonly misunderstood and explaining why the Fall was necessary as a part of God’s Plan of Happiness. The second section breaks down the events of The Fall comparing you and I to Adam and Eve, explaining how their actions were a type for our own. Chapter 3 speaks of Adam and Eve as types for Christ and His Church and the last section covers textual insights into the doctrine of the Fall.

To give you a little taste, I’ll quote from the section that comments on the phrase “I will greatly multiply they sorrow and they conception” found in Genesis 3:16. (I don’t think it’s any surprise that I was so interested in a commentary on what purpose the pain of childbearing and labor might serve!)

There may be both literal and symbolic meaning in this phrase. In the more literal sense, Eve, and all women after her, suffer physically during childbirth because of the Fall and the changes it brought to the physical body. However, the pain of giving birth has also been seen as a symbol of the members of Christ’s Church struggling to give “birth to temperance in their soul.” Augustine wrote: “Carnal desire… does not [cause] pain in the beginning, until [a] habit is bent toward improvement… In order that this [good] habit might be born, there was a painful struggle with [the] bad habit.” The pains of giving birth not only remind us of the Fall. They are also a sign of impending joy. Just as the pains bring forth a child–which the parents rejoice in–our trials can bring forth change and redemption–which will be the source of eternal joy for all those who are willing to experience the “labor pains” of the mortal test. Change does not come easily. If we are to overcome sinful desires and habits, there must be significant travail preceding our being “born again.”

Video

At a time when I think we all feel a bit hopeless or powerless to help meet the needs of others, I appreciate this reminder that God works miracles, both great and small, and we can petition those miracles through the power of prayer.

Prayer is the provider of spiritual strength… It is the passport of spiritual peace… Miracles are wrought through prayer.- -President Thomas S. Monson

Abbie Cabbie

This is my car, or at least, one that looks just like it. Last month I poured $900 into her in an attempt to fix the brakes (I take responsibility for waiting too long to get the brakes fixed which cost me extra money, but it still would have cost me something to replace them), and now I’m told that the clutch is wasted and could cost something like $1200 to fix. Unfortunately this little car of mine is now only worth $3000-$4000, and so pouring another thousand dollars into it might not be the best choice.

Things to consider:

A. The cars worth and the amount of money that we would need to pour into repairs. The clutch needs to be replaced, the windows don’t roll up and down, the cruise control doesn’t work, and the air conditioning is rather weak. The scratches over the back left tire could probably use a paint job as well.

B. We don’t want the baby traveling in this car, so once That 1 comes Abbie will belong to That Husband (something he is not very excited about). We would prefer to have two cars that we feel comfortable transporting our child in.

C. We’re hoping to move away to business school this Fall. We might move somewhere where only one car is necessary. We might need two.

D. We do, indeed, need two cars here in Texas. Public transportation isn’t an option where we are, and That Husband doesn’t have the kind of job that allows him to carpool back and forth to work. I can’t run a photography business (even part time) without a vehicle to transport me to shoots, consults, etc.

Should we sell the car as is? Fix her up and sell her immediately? Fix her up and keep her until we move to business school this Fall?

Haiti

Heartbreaking, devastating, tragic on incomprehensible levels. Where have you donated? We’ve been doing our research and talked about several different options but we want to make sure our money is used as effectively as possible. I think That Husband has already taken care of our donation but I was thinking that it might be possible that there are others who feel unsure how they can be the most effective. Please leave your suggestions (with links if possible!) with ways you have donated and where in the hope it will help others make up their mind if they are wavering.

On a bit of a lighter note, I cried as we walked into Avatar tonight. That Husband had said it was really important to get there early and get good seats, but it took me much too long to get out the door and we walked in just in time to grab two seats together in the second row. He started saying he would rather sit separately in sections farther back and I burst into tears feeling like I had ruined the date we had been looking forward to for weeks. Guess those crazy pregnancy hormones are finally kicking in for me!

P.S.-I loved the movie but cried and cried as I watched them destroy the indigenous people. What are some other movies that deal with the topic of destructive colonization in this way?

Today though, we’re playing a game. One night when discussing names TH jokingly suggested we name our babies using the letters of my name. First baby starts with the letter J, second E, third N, and so on. Fun, right? They won’t have my maiden name, but they can have a part of my first name with to them in some way. I would never want to do this, but I did have fun coming up with the names I would attribute to each letter. I chose from the list of  names I’ve compiled from our family tree the last few weeks.

Source

J-Jean

E-Etta

N-Niels

N-Nora

A-Adele

Yep, all grandma/grandpa names. And no we aren’t planning on having five kids. Right now we are planning on having one. Then two, then three, until we decide to stop.

Now it’s your turn. You can come up with names for J-E-N-N-A, or you can come up with names for your own first name. Who knows, maybe one of you will suggest a name we fall in love with and end up using!

After many many weeks of doing these I’ve finally figured out a good location for these photos, with much better lighting. I’ve started to miss weeks as these dang pictures take FOREVER. I have to get the camera, memory card, tripod, figure out the right settings for the lighting, and then I run back and forth using the 2 second self timer attempting to figure out the focus. As you can see I have made a lot of mistakes over the weeks, but things are looking much better by week 22. Guess I’ll be better prepared for when baby #2 comes?

A comparison shot. Breasts look the same, arms look about the same, but bigger bum, bigger tummy (of course!) and bigger face (boo).

Although I have a belly riddled with old faded stretch marks from when I got really fat in college, I have yet to see any new ones. No linea nigra yet, and still an innie belly button. Not too shabby!

And I leave you with a real clothes shot WITH makeup on my face just for kicks. 3 weeks until my maternity shoot!

What week do you think I “popped”?

We spent about an hour talking and eating, and then one of the members, a postpartum doula, took the floor to talk about different ways to best plan for the postpartum period. Pregnancy affords us months and months to plan for birth, a momentous event, but entirely too many women talk about getting home from the hospital (and all of the pampering that came from the nursing staff) and realizing they have no idea how to handle life with this new little person. I’m writing this rather late at night, and I have many other things I should be doing right now, so I’m just going to paste in the notes I took on my iPhone with a few comments added in parantheses for clarification. I’ll eventually be writing up a postpartum plan for myself (as well as some birth plans), and I’ll share what I came up with here on That Wife. This meeting was a great way to jump start the process!

One of the biggest things we are working to do is trying to find a way to coordinate visits from family to make sure everyone doesn’t come at once, leaving me overwhelmed at the end of two weeks because I’ve had people cooking and cleaning for me and then week 3 comes and I’m all alone. That Husband gets two weeks of paternity leave, my mom is going to come, and my sister is going to come down. Finding a way to effectively manage all of those visits has been quite a challenge! Right now I’m thinking Week 1 will be just husband and I, week 2 will be TH and mom, week 3 will be just mom, week 4 sister will come and mom will leave, and at the end of week 5 sister will leave. We’ll see if we can make it all work.

Suggestions from a postpartum doula:

-plan for post partum the way you plan for your birth (research! talk to other moms! gather resources!)
-challenges other moms in the room have faced: breastfeeding, not having food brought over, no help from family, preparing ahead of time for breastfeeding issues, relieving gas, dealing with multiple kids at a time
-line up a lactation consultant before the birth
-the doula visited HEB breastfeeding center when she was struggling
-find the right lactation consultant for you
- have contact information for lactation consultant, pediatrician, take out menus, emergency contacts, and other contact information all ready and readily available
-”lying in” is a time in other cultures when new mom doesn’t have to do everything, create your own lying in environment
-stay in and around your bed for 7 days to recover if possible
-no housework for the first 2 weeks if you can help it
-stock pantry with finger food and freezer with frozen meals
-make friends with another new mom who has recently been through the same thing, find a breastfeeding or new mom support group
-decide ahead of time what dad can do an set certain tasks that are his. Taking baby for a walk, bathing baby, 30-60 mins of alone time with baby. Give dad a “thing” to do with baby.
-let go of the idea that the house needs to be clean
-develop a post partum plan the same way you would develop a birth plan
-enjoy newborn time
-set up changing and feeding stations around the house (baskets with burp cloths, snacks, book, water, diapers, wipes, changing pad)
-get a really good breastfeeding support pillow (The Boppy is talked about a lot, but almost all lactation consultants like the My Breast Friend pillow much better)
-eat well for better breastfeeding
-write down how the laundry is done, where cleaning supplies are, where kitchen supplies are, how and when the dog is walked or fed, and other things that are part of your daily routine so that guests who come to help own’t constantly be asking you questions
-think about using paper and plastic utensils for a week right after baby is born to cut down on dishes (and the stress of a messy sink!)

And a few of the books she recommends to all her moms:

The Fussy Baby Book
Good Nights
The Happiest Baby on the Block
No Cry Sleep Solution
Bestfeeding
The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding
The Ultimate Breastfeeding Book of Answers

A friend commented on Facebook with her top three suggestions:

1. Have the number and name of an IBLCE who will come to your house 2. Have your husband stay home from work (and not bring any home!) 3. Have someone cook your meals for you

Moms who have been through this before, what would you suggest moms-to-be do to get ready for those first few weeks with baby?

I really like what I’ve seen other photographers do with it and I wanted to see how it would work for me. I ended up leaving the rental place just in time to get to the wedding so I didn’t have any time to practice or really learn how it works. I wound up with only a few photos worth keeping and realized I needed to spend some more time practicing.

I really love to see what the lens can do when shooting portraits, as seen here, here, here, and here.

There are those who say the same effects can be achieved through Photoshop, but I disagree. Unfortunately my mathematical skills prevent me from letting you know exactly WHY I disagree, but I’ve read several arguments back and forth about it and I agree with the “Photoshop can’t fake what an expert can do” camp. Photographers I love who frequently use the Tilt-shift include Jonas Peterson, Jeff Newsom, and Sean Flanigan. Try scrolling through their stuff and spotting when they use the Tilt-shift.

If you have a dSLR and you’d like to shake things up a little bit from your normal routine I’d suggest renting a new lens and having some fun with it. You can try the Tilt-shift, find someone who has a Lensbaby, or you can get really ambitious and look into making your own!