With Pookie up country taking care of some family business for the weekend that left me to fend for myself, and in true bachelor style I lived on fast food. Not just any fast food mind you, just the best fast food in the world. Thai food from small markets and street carts.

Sure, I live in Pattaya which is a nice sized city with all the amenities of the western world, McDonalds, Starbucks, Pizza Hut and KFC to name a few. At their best those places can’t even consider what they sell as food. I could have gone to the supermarket and bought peanut butter and chips as well but when you live in Thailand there is nothing like good fresh Thai food.

One of my favorite haunts is a small night market on Soi Buakow just before the bend in the road that takes you up to Sai Pattaya Klang. The market has a little bit of everything from clothes to mobile phone accessories but it’s the food that makes this market. They start setting up about 4pm and you can easily find your way to the market by just the smell alone.

There is a nice dining area where you can pick your food and sit down to enjoy it or you can get your Thai food to go. Either way it’s some of the best food in Pattaya. There is pretty much something for everyone here that likes Thai food, some spicy and some not so spicy. Fish, Chicken, traditional Issan dishes and even hot dogs if you so choose.

One of my all time favorite dishes can be found at several stalls here. I still don’t know it’s name so maybe one of the readers can help me out here. It starts out looking like a medium sized fried dough ball, there are usually piles of these balls on the table. When you order one they put the ball into a bowl and crush it up revealing that it is really filled with rice and spices. Next a small plastic bag of fermented pork is added to the mixture before they add noodles, peanuts and a healthy dose of red pepper flakes. Pet Mak Mak ( very spicy ). You can see all the ingredients for this dish in the first picture below and then the end product in a bowl, absolutely delicious.

Of course being in bachelor mode and afraid of starving I had to order more than needed, because you never know when the hunger for great Thai food will strike again in the night. Just to make sure you should always have some chicken hearts, assorted chicken parts skewered, Thai sausage and greens around. And no fast food Thai meal is complete without the appropriate alcoholic beverage to wash it down.

You can keep the various foods of the world, give me a small Thai market or food stall and I’ll be well fed for a lifetime.

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A Coup on the Horizon?

This week a Puea Thai MP stated that there would definitely be a military coup in October of this year. Surapong Towichakchaikul, a Chiang Mai MP, said on Friday that he had  information which led to the belief that there would definitely be a coup. Apparently the potential coup makers have already drafted a new constitution and have hand picked a general, whose name begins with a “P”, to be the new Prime Minister.

Puea Thai chairman, Chavalit Yongchaiyudh, has also received this information but it differs from what the MP had heard. The chairman’s information on the pending coup was generally positive for Thailand as a whole whereas the information received by Chiang Mai MP Surapong Towichakchaikul had very negative connotations for Thailand.

The reasons outlined for the military to stage a new coup were as follows:

1. There were rifts in political parties.  MPs had started to switch parties.  Politicians were up for sale despite being in a democratic system. This was a collapse of democracy.

2. Politicians had blatantly indulged in corruption.  Financiers behind political parties had openly sought interests from politics.

3. Appointments of government officials had been plagued with injustice.  Positions had been put up for sale.  The bureaucratic system had been destroyed.

4. People in society were seriously divided, beyond repair.

October is seen as a perfect month for a coup because that is when the new fiscal year starts in Thailand and the leaders would be better prepared to safeguard the peoples tax money.  Another reason October is seen to be the month of a new coup is because general elections will be taking place and it is believed that the Puea Thai Party will gain a strong foot hold in the government which will be seen as unacceptable by many Bangkokonians.

The Chiang Mai MP released this information, he says, in hopes that it will detract from those plotting a coup and bring to light their actions. Although the very same MP has no problems if there is a coup as long as it is for the betterment of Thailand.

With a long history of coups in Thailand’s past it is easily conceivable that another is around the corner. With 19 Red shirt leaders receiving jail sentences just two weeks ago for their part in the past year of protests and the lingering anger in the rural countryside still unabated anything can happen.

What Thailand’s future holds is anyone’s guess, but there are still dark times ahead unless someone steps forward that has all of Thailand in his or her heart and can bridge the divide that grows larger daily.

While there were many stories on Thailand in the news this week this was the one most under reported and clearly the one that should be on peoples minds…I’ll leave it at that for this week.

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I wish I had ten baht for every time I heard that phrase,  or something similar,  uttered by everyone from expats to first time travelers to the Kingdom, I’d have enough money to ride the baht bus 50 times a day for a year. Apparently certain areas are designated “Not the Real Thailand”, areas I have heard mentioned include, Pattaya, Bangkok, Koh Samui and Phuket just to name a few.

I’ll use Pattaya as a reference since that is where I am at the moment enjoying a beer and writing in a quiet corner of the Pattaya Beer Garden. Last night I overheard a conversation between two men with one telling the other “you haven’t seen the real Thailand”, because the other gentleman had only been to Bangkok and Pattaya. I thought about that for a moment and smiled. What exactly constitutes “The Real Thailand” anyway? Here I am surrounded by Thai’s who seemingly outnumber the falang by a good number, I hear the Thai language everywhere I go, I can only smell Thai food and oddly enough the stamp in my passport says I am in Thailand…Have I been scammed?

Now, I have been to a fair few places in Thailand from Bangkok to Mukdahan and in between and damned if I haven’t noticed Thai people, Thai food and Thai hospitality in all of them. I have been to Buddhist Wats in at least 11 provinces and have broken bread with Thai’s in just as many and I never felt like I wasn’t in “The Real Thailand”.

Obviously there are differences from a tourist town such as Pattaya to the farm in Issan but to say Pattaya or Bangkok aren’t really experiencing Thailand is like  saying you really haven’t experienced America if you have only been to New York. I don’t know if this is a  game of one upmanship people like to play or if they genuinely believe it.

Now I am really starting to question just what does constitute “The Real Thailand”, I’ve spent a considerable amount of time In Mukdahan and Nakhon Phanom where there is more Lao and Cambodian heritage with a little Vietnamese thrown in for good measure. The food is more Lao and the look of the people is more Lao so this can’t be “The Real Thailand”, can it? Of course now I am befuddled because many of the Thai’s That work in Pattaya come from Issan and since We can rule out Issan as being “The Real Thailand” then I guess they are right that Pattaya isn’t either.

From what I have heard, in the “The Real Thailand”,  all the Thai people are simple folk without a care in the world and always have a smile for a passing stranger. It should also be noted that in “The Real Thailand the falang is God like and is treated in a God Like manner. Sounds like a nice place, doesn’t it?

We’ll I am just about finished my beer and I think I am going to head out in search of “The Real Thailand”, if any of you find out where it is send me a note and aim me in the right direction otherwise I’ll be running around the country for years aimlessly in search of the promised land. I better hit the hongnam first…

What are your thoughts? Are certain provinces or towns more Thailand than others?

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I spent most of my day today looking into language schools around Pattaya. The better known schools all have offices located around CarreFour on Pattaya Klang in central Pattaya. The three language schools that I inquired about today were Callan & Walen, Pro Language and PLC. All three schools had very nice and well informed staff and all offered a free class to get a feel for their teaching methods.

These three schools are approved by the Ministry of Education and all offer a 1 year student visa course of 180 hours. The price for 1 year student visa course is relatively the same at all the schools with the tuition being at or close to 25,000 baht.

Today I gathered information and sat in on a couple of classes. Tomorrow  I will sit in on more classes and then I think I will have a much better idea of which schools teaching methods will be the best for my particular learning style. While the 1 year student visa is important for my plans here in Thailand, learning the Thai language is paramount and I want to make sure I make the right choice.

You can read my review of the various Thai language schools in Pattaya over at Women Learning Thai and Some Men Too. Thai Language Schools in Pattaya.

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Ambassador’s Daughter Falls to her Death in NYC

Nicole John, the 17-year-old daughter of the American Ambassador to Thailand Eric John, fell to her death from the 25th story of a New York Apartment on Friday. Nicole John had completed high school in Bangkok this past year and was looking forward to beginning college in New York City when the accident occurred.

The accident happened at the apartment of 25 year-old iIlan Nassimi, who had thrown a party that night. Witnesses from across the street say they saw Nicole climb out of a 25th story window onto a ledge with a camera before falling. The witnesses called emergency services but there was nothing that could have been done to save the girl.

The New York City Medical examiners office released a statement ruling that the death was an accident and that Nicole had succumbed to massive blunt force trauma.

Investigators have now turned their attention to iIlan Nassimi, the owner of the apartment where the party was held. Nassimi was arrested on a misdemeanor charge the night of the incident for serving alcohol to minors, more charges could follow.

By all accounts Ambassador John and his family are very well liked and respected for the work he has done in Thailand since taking the post in 2007. My heartfelt condolences go out to the Ambassador and his family during this tragic time of loss.

Tiger Cub Denied Boarding Pass

Customs officials at Thailand’s Suvarnabumi airport probably see a very strange assortment of things as they scan luggage bound for departing flights but I don’t think they were quite prepared for what they found when they x-rayed what seemed to be a bag containing cuddly stuffed animals,  until one of them moved. Piyawan Palasarn, aged 30 and the owner of said bag, was about to board a flight from Bangkok to Tehran on Thursday when customs officials took her aside.

Exotic animals are very sought after in Iran as pets and can bring huge sums of cash to those willing to smuggle these animals out of the country. In many cases such as this a female is used and baggage is packed with stuffed animals as well to disguise the exotic animal being smuggled. It was surmised that Piyawan Palasarn would earn about 100,000 baht ($3000) for her role in the operation.

When confronted with the evidence against her Palasarn pleaded that she was innocent and that she didn’t even know what was in the bag that was handed to her by others she couldn’t name. Unfortunately for her CCTV camera’s are prevalent throughout the airport and she was captured on video arriving alone and remaining alone from check in to the boarding gates. She will be charged with several wildlife offences and could recieve up to 4 years in jail and a 40,000 baht fine.

A babies bottle with milk and some xanax were found next to the cub in the bag. The xanax was apparently used to try and tranquilize the cub during the flight as doctors found that the cub was force fed at least 10 xanax pills. While xanax would have lowered the metabolic rate of the animal the smugglers failed to realize one thing in their stupidity, that the x-ray machine would pick up a beating heart and other moving organs.

The cub is being cared for at the rescue centre of the Department of National Parks, Wildlife and Plant Conservation and is said to be doing well despite the smugglers efforts.

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I’m not sure if Buddha is watching out for me or I am being punished for a past life but one thing is for sure, I’m not such a big fan of water anymore.

Yesterday the maintenance man showed back up at the condo around 3pm to look into the electric water heater under the sink as it stopped working…again. Now, I don’t know if it was his extensive training or just a whim but he decided it would be a good idea to jam a screwdriver into the offending water heater which fought back by exploding on him and knocking him across the floor. So, now I am left with no hot water, no power, valves still leaking and a dead Thai man on my floor.

The maintenance man came back to life and muttered something about the water heater being broken and he would fix tomorrow. Of course, when he left I half expected him to go to the electrical room and fix the tripped breaker I had mentioned to him but alas that was too far into the realm of common sense. Back to the Maintenance office I go and 5 minutes later the lights come back on and the resurrected maintenance man is back at my door with a brand new water heater. The water heater is installed and for the first time since I moved in there are no leaks and copious amounts of hot water for everyone.

Pookie and I had earlier gone shopping and picked up some essentials like a rice maker and ingredients for her to cook with, so , we settled in and Pookie made a great Issan meal for us and all was right in my world. Unfortunately, I have been fighting a head and chest cold all week and that coupled with some lingering jet lag had me in bed by 11pm. After some much needed prayers to Buddha Pookie and I snuggled up and drifted off to sleep…and then all hell broke loose!

At 1am I am startled out of a sound sleep by massive banging at the front door. I jump out of bed as quickly as I can only to fall flat on my face, that sometimes happens when you have 3 inches of water running across a tile floor! I open the door to find 4 security guards telling me I have a leak, Sherlock Holmes would have been proud.

I open the sink cabinet to turn off the water but to my surprise the water isn’t coming from the valves or lines, it’s coming from under the cabinet because a pipe inside the wall has broken. The security team finds the main shutoff for the unit and then it’s time to play “Who’s on First?”.

Me: Can you call whoever is in charge and get them here?

Security guard #1: Cannot.

Me: Why?

Security Guard #2: Office closed…1 am.

Me: I understand that but don’t you have an emergency contact number?

Security Guard #1: Yes.

Me: Can you call?

Security Guard #3: Cannot.

Me: Why?

Security Guard #1: Office closed…1am.

Me: If the building was burning down you would have to get a hold of someone right?

Security Guard #2: Yes.

Me: Who?

Security Guard #2: Pom.

Me: Okay…call Pom.

Security Guard #1: Cannot.

Me: Office closed…1am.

Security Guard #4: *covers mouth to hide giggles*

2 hours and what seemed like a thousand gallons of water later we had the mess cleaned up and and went back to bed, not looking forward to the morning that was coming fast and the prospect of no water. The security Guards did help us out a lot while they were removing the water from the hallways, stairs and elevator so I am thankful to them for that.

Unbelievably this leak is totally unrelated to the previous ones. I think once they got the first leaks fixed the pressure went back up and since water likes to find the path of least resistance it was easily found in another bad pipe. Luckily the property managers and the condo’s management team have been very gracious and falling over themselves this morning and it seems it might all be okay again for a little bit. This is a brand new condo, we are the very first tenants and this is Thailand ( TiT ). Problems are to be expected.

I’ll leave you today with a small conversation Pookie and I had before going to bed…it showed me I still had my Western mindset and I really need to change my thinking some.

Me: Pookie, I think Buddha mad at me.

Pookie: Teelac Buddha not mad at you, Buddha help you and watch over you. You fall bad when you get out of bed but you not hurt. You stand in deep water but you not die from electricity.

Can’t argue that logic…

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Last I left off  I had moved into the new condo and had a few minor leaking problems and no hot water, but I was satisfied with the efficiency in which  it was handled and was just waiting for Tuesday to get the hot water back up and running. Well Tuesday came and the maintenance man didn’t come in to work that day, no biggie the cool water actually felt pretty good. Today I go to the office to report that I still have no hot water and the manger tells me I need to go down one floor to the Juristic office. Juristic office?

juristic [jer-is-stick], juristical

Now, maybe I’m a little off my game today but for the life of me I cannot figure out how juristic relates to building maintenance. Anyway, I head down to the juristic office and one of the Thai ladies who works in the office and a maintenance man followed me back to the condo. 5 minutes later I had hot water “kop koon kup” I say and they are on their way. 5 minutes after that a flood of water comes out from under the sink.

So, I turn off the water and head back down to the juristic office and let them know the hot water is great but there is a large leak again under the sink. They assure me a maintenance man will be up in a few minutes. 5 minutes later a new maintenance man shows up with only a caulk gun…FacePalm. I explain to him he needs tools, he smiles and nods in agreement and then we stand there looking at each other for another minute or two until Pookie tells him he needs tools in Thai.

The juristic maintenance man leaves and comes back in 5 minutes with the first maintenance man and the caulk gun. They asses the problem and come to the conclusion they will need tools. Off to the juristic office they go for tools and 5 minutes later they are back and working on the problem. After a half hour they realize the valve is bad and get a new one installed and just to make sure this one doesn’t leak they made sure to caulk it real good after tightening it down…Facepalm.

Pookie heads off to take a shower and just as I was about to go out and look for a bigger table for my balcony office Pookie walks into the kitchen wearing only a towel and laughing…” Teelac, we no have hot water again”.  FACEPALM!

I know the deal, it’s not like I haven’t been to Thailand before but at this point I was getting pretty irritated, I just want to go find a nice table. Instead I head back down to the juristic office. The head lady is in and I tell her my problem, she shakes her head and utters something under her breath in Thai which made the cleaning lady in the office bust out laughing, I can only imagine she had some not so nice words to say about hiring the handicapped.

5 minutes latter the head lady is at my door with tools in hand, she shakes her head and says ” I head lady not engineer” as if to say,  why the hell am I fixing things when I pay people to fix things. 5 minutes later I have hot water again but head lady tells me valve still leak nit noi. She told me she would have a real plumber out in the morning.

I decided I needed to go for a long walk down to the open air furniture shop behind Big C…I picked up 2 stray dogs, a stray sunglasses salesman who gave me his pitch for 8 blocks and a very manly ladyboy who escorted me,  her arm in mine,  from soi 6/1 all the way down to Big C, she assured me that she would boom boom me too good.

Maybe tomorrow will be a better day for table hunting…

Epilogue: While wrapping up this post and getting ready to hit the publish button a welder appeared above my balcony showering sparks and molten metal everywhere, I think when things go well from now on I’ll keep it to myself because things have a way of coming back and biting you in the ass if you know what I mean.

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It’s been a long few days that started last Friday at 5 am, a six hour flight to California with a 12 hour layover and then a 15 hour flight to the land of Smiles. Thank Buddha for business class. I landed in Bangkok at 5:45 am on Sunday the 22cnd and breezed through immigration, baggage and customs in 20 minutes, a new record me thinks. What could be more fitting than being greeted by my driver with the above sign, not quite right but this is Thailand and it was close enough to make me laugh out loud.

Walking into the warm breeze of Bangkok I had to stop for a moment, although I have been planning this move for a long time it didn’t hit me until I was halfway to the minivan…I was home. My driver didn’t disappoint, he hauled ass to Pattaya using every lane possible including both shoulders and often careening down the middle of two lanes at once. I watched the familiar landscape pass me by and before I knew it I was in Pattaya.

Pookie Arrived earlier in the morning and went to her sisters apartment to sleep and after a quick nip into the 7/11 I was headed to bed as well. Jet lag can be a bitch sometimes but I was able to get a few hours sleep until Pookie called. We spent the rest of the day and night catching up. Unfortunately for me sleep was hard to come by as my body hasn’t adjusted yet but Pookie slept for the requisite 12 hours and still seemed tired.

With little sleep it was time to go check out the condo. If you hadn’t already guessed I have decided to live the first year in Pattaya, there is good and there is bad but Pattaya and Bangkok have it all and I’m not quite ready to settle down on the farm just yet, although we will be making trips up country frequently and it seems like we might be bringing back a little guest with us to visit.

For anyone thinking about a long term stay in Pattaya all I can say is now is the right time. There is a glut of open rentals on the market and you can pretty much name your own price. I contacted Alan Bolton Properties and was very fortunate to get a brand new Condo at the Nova Avenue which just opened last November. It’s a very small 46 sqm single bedroom condo but it ticked all the right boxes. Right in the middle of Pattaya between Second road and Soi Bukiow, quiet yet close to everything.

As you can see by the photos the place is very well appointed and at 15,000 baht a month a great deal considering internet and cable are included and although I have to pay electric from what I have gathered from other residents the bill should be around 1000 baht a month, we’ll see.

Of course all of this wasn’t as easy as it seems, this is Thailand after all and you have to expect things to go pear shaped quickly. Shortly after moving in we headed to Big C to pick up needed items and some food. When we came back the kitchen was flooded, the bathroom was flooded and the hot water heater was dead, Welcome to Thailand Imothy Vull…you just gotta laugh. Luckily the office was still open and the office manager is very good. The leaks were fixed and the hot water heater will be replaced tomorrow.

It’s already starting to feel like home and although I brought too many bags over with me I couldn’t do without the trinkets, photos and memories of my past life. It’s small yet comfortable and it’s home. I have to keep saying that because it’s still hard to believe, fortunately someone just rang the bell at the beer bar next door so if that doesn’t bring it home to me nothing will…you’ll have to excuse me now I think I can just make it next door fast enough for a free beer!

This last picture pretty much sums it up , it was a gift from my mother years ago when I moved into my first real apartment.

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