Last December, like every year around my birthday, I had my physical.  I’m always happy to get out the door with a little scolding and an overall stamp of approval.  The final part of the exam was my mammogram.  I had it the week of Christmas, great to check that off my ‘to do’ list just in time for the holidays.

So the phone call from a nurse a few days later threw me, “We saw something; you need to return.”  Whoa!  Unfortunately the 2^nd mammogram and ultra-sound identified a mass; a needle biopsy was necessary.

That’s when I sent a quick email to a handful of sister-friends, asking them to pray and believe with me that all would be fine.   Within seconds I received phone calls and replies, no questions or requests for details – just “I’m with you.”  The week leading up to the biopsy and the days of waiting for results was grueling beyond explanation. But those same sister-friends sent emails or called or sent text messages saying, “wanted you to know I’ve got your back”.  Two even flew in from the East Coast “just to be with you when you got results,” they said.  With all of that prayer, love and support, I really was at ease.  I was wrapped in peace and strength.  Whatever the outcome, I knew this posse of sister-friends was going to be with me.

A big smile and happy/grateful tears covered my face when my doctor called and said, “no cancer…nothing…nada…you’re fine!”  Thank God!  Excited and joyful notes, calls and texts flew fast and furious to this band of sister-friends who had “kept me”…. loved on me, encouraged me and lifted me.  Don’t know that I could’ve endured that time without them.

Yes, women do rock – not just because we make it happen in the corporate world or in our businesses, but because we help “keep” each other sane during the bumpy parts of this road called life.  I have a new perspective – women rock because:

• we have the capacity to love and care for each other without reservation
• we stand in the gap for each other
• we don’t need a lot of information before we choose to support
• we jump in at a moment’s notice to “be there”
• we put our lives on hold to see about each other

Being your sister’s keeper is a really good thing….

At a workshop that I attended, everyone was asked to make a list of “five things that bring joy”.   At the top of my list was dancing, because dancing and smiling go hand in hand for me.  So it was no surprise to me, or any of my friends, that dancing was at the top of my list.  However, what was a surprise for many of us, was that almost every woman in the room included dancing on her list – women of all ages, sizes, backgrounds and professions. 

And yet, 90% of those women said that dancing was not currently part of their life.  One of the top five things that brought them joy was missing from their life!  This not only got my attention but had everyone really stop to reflect on how they were making important life choices.

And choosing joy is an important life choice!  Without joy we tend to lose our sense our sense of self and our own inspiration.  Without choosing joy we tend to let all the “joyless” activities bring us down. 

So, how about it!  Right now, write down five things that give you joy!  And then choose to do at least one of those five things every day to honor yourself and bring you joy! 

While you’re writing your list, I’m putting on the music and dancing.

It would also give me joy to hear about the joyful things that you are doing for yourself, so please consider taking a moment to leave a comment and inspire other women to live with joy! 

Step into the middle of this board room conversation …”I learned my wife doesn’t care about getting gifts or flowers, she wants me to help out around the house. Oh, not my girlfriend, if I don’t tell her how special she is to me all the time, she thinks something is wrong!” After several female board members piped in about what their beliefs were about their husbands and partners preferences, someone suggesting reading   The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman.

Being a consultant who works with companies with people conflict, I pondered on the “appreciation languages” of my consulting client’s employees…or even the  Texas Women Rockers?  

How many times had I interviewed employees who were starved for recognition from their manager? Research had reported countless times that money was not a motivator, so what could an employer do?  Most look to books for an idea list of recognition methods, without any idea of what would speak to the individual. 

If Dr. Chapman’s ideas work for love, how about for business?

With my apologies to Dr. Chapman, how about a quiz which flagged the primary way our employees want to be recognized at work?  Select your number 1 and number 2 preferred mentod of appreciation from the choices below.

APPRECIATION LANGUAGE QUIZ

I feel most valued when a person/manager/co-worker:

 ______Tells me how grateful they are for me and the things I do for them or the company

 ______ Gives me their focused attention without any interruptions

 ______Brings me a gift or other tangible item of appreciation

 ______Pitches in to help me, perhaps taking over something that I’m behind on or find routine or boring

 ______Expresses positive feelings through acceptable physical contact- like a pat on the back, high-5 or knuckle bump

To learn more about your style, go to Pat Dolen  for the “rest of the story”.

Women who rock never give up on ideas that touch their heart!

My friend Joan Portman is my current inspiration.  Yesterday I received an email from her thanking a group of us for supporting her and her dream over the years (we all belonged to the Windsor Club and met for breakfast twice a month for ten years).  She proudly notified us that her “idea that became a dream and finally…after nine years, has become reality.” 

Joan is a certified interior designer specializing in feng shui and the Founder of Healing Environments. The idea for Healing Environments came when she was caring for her father during his nine months of treatment for brain cancer.  “During his hospitalization in Texas, I brought in various personal items from home – a colorful afghan made by my mother-in-law, his favorite music and books on CD, family photos, and a beautiful orchid plant – to bring color, life and the elements of nature into his room.”   

Through her training in feng shui and interior design, Joan knew that one’s environment could help to lift the spirits of patients and their families.  When she moved from Texas to Pennsylvania she took her idea with her.  She was just as determined as ever to make it a reality and she did! 

The Healing Environments program initially kicked off in the Inpatient Oncology Unit, (St. Mary Medical Center in Pennsylvania) allowing patients to make their rooms feel more warm, cozy, friendly, and comforting by bring personalized items into their rooms.  Carts are brought to the patients’ rooms so that they can choose handmade afghans and quilts, children’s art, books, magazines, and sleep masks.  More than 500 items have been lovingly crocheted, knitted and sewn as gifts for the patients.  Each item has a “special healing prayer tucked into a heart-shaped pocket.” 

Nine years of determination, vision, and conviction have led to a program that will grow, spread and serve countless patients and families over the years to come!  And all because Joan Portman had a dream that she wouldn’t let go of – until it became a reality and now she can set it free so that it can grow through the loving support of everyone touched by her dream. 

Even though Joan now lives in Pennsylvania, I still say she’s a Texas woman who rocks! 

What’s your dream – that you won’t let go of?  Whatever it is, let Joan be your inspiration and source of energy and encouragement to keep on making your dreams a reality!

On Thursday I was flying from Houston to Charlotte to spend the weekend with my Mom celebrating our birthdays (Mom’s the 25th and mine the 29th). Once the plane landed and I was standing at my seat waiting to get off the plane, I noticed the woman standing in the row in front of me who looked to be about my Mom’s age.

What I noticed about her were her earrings.  She had beautiful dangle earrings, but what really caught my attention was that she also had two additional piercings in each ear – not unusual for the young generation, but NOT usual for women in their 80’s.

About that time everyone started filing off the plane and I didn’t have a chance to say anything.

But then as I was washing my hands in the restroom, there she was at the sink right next to me.

I said, “I like your earrings.”

She replied, “My daughter gave me these.”

I responded, “I really like your piercings.”

She then turned to me with a grin on her face like she was telling me a delightful secret.  “I did that when I turned 60!  I wanted to do something special.  My friend got a tattoo.  I got the piercings.”

Totally engaged and inspired, I said “I love it!” relishing in her pleasure.

I thought that was probably the end of the conversation and then in an instant she turned back to tell me more.  “My husband didn’t notice for 10 days!  I didn’t tell him I was doing it and he didn’t notice for 10 days.”  And then came the kicker, “so I just decided I would go out and buy diamond studs!”

We walked out of the restroom giggling like new friends.  She then walked over to where her husband was waiting for her and they proceeded on to their next gate.

Every time I think of her I get a smile on my face.  I so enjoyed her delightful spirit.  And I love the fact that she was enjoying in that moment something that she did approximately twenty years prior.  And what a treat that she was sharing her experience with me!

She also got me to thinking about my life and what I’m doing now that would be that much fun to recall twenty years from now.

What might I do when I turn 60?  What might I do today? It’s going to have to be something juicy!

Please help me with ideas!  What about you?  What will you do this year that will still bring a twinkle to your eyes 10 to 20 years from now.  I would love to hear your ideas!

Yes, I admit…I am a gold star addict. I want to tell you how motivated I am by long range results that occur somewhere in the next decade, except it is not true. It is the daily “atta-a-girls” I get from my newly created point system.

Do you work with a coach? Well, I do. She knows my strengths and gaps. Yep, she’s got me “profiled” and knows how I am hard-wired. She can recognize when I begin to slide on some of those daily production tasks when they are not my favorites. As I review my checklist, there is certainly one area I’ll want to avoid…Consulting…favorite! Executive coaching…favorite! Speaking…favorite! Prospecting calls…not as favorite!

How did my coach help me? By knowing me and my habits. Let me explain. There are 10 types of marketing, public relations or sales activities that I perform on a daily, weekly or monthly basis that lead to “revenue generated’. They include marketing campaigns, articles, blogging, prospecting contacts, networking, presentations, seminars, workshops, events and speaking events.

With the previous system, we carefully tallied the number of activities performed each week. Ho-hum. Numbers were not my motivator.  So, we devised a point system, where each task will generate points toward my daily goal of 50 points. How does the daily 50 help motivate me during the times I don’t feel like an Olympic Star?

1. Daily goals keep me on track upward!
2. Work stays interesting and fresh.
3. Choices bring flexibility and creativity.

So, I admit it. I love going for my gold stars every day…even though I hope you don’t tell. If you think it will work for you, devise your own system and maybe we’ll have our own gold star club together in the future.

I just found out that today is International Women’s Day and I felt a desire “to do” something to honor women and to support women all around the world.  Because I don’t know of a local International Women’s Day event to attend, I’m writing to connect with you and other women out there.

We’ve come so far and yet still have so far to go:

• To learn as women to speak up with strength and conviction about our hearts’ desires.
• To speak up for other women and be advocates for each other.
• To be a stand for women and girls everywhere by not allowing ourselves to be degraded, dismissed, and/or devalued.
• To be respectful of ourself and others and eliminate abuse, of any kind, verbal, emotional, physical, etc.
• To creating new, empowering possibilities for ourselves and each other.

International Women’s Day is a global day celebrating the economic, political and social achievements of women past, present and future.

Robin Shrader Wilson and I conduct “Possibility Parties” for Women to provide a fun, powerful environment for women to expand their consciousness and discover new possibilities in their lives.  I notice that there is always a “next step up” in terms of “what’s possible” in our lives.  Sometimes we’ve come as far as we can, at the moment, with our consciousness and yet with the collective support and consciousness of other women we open up to even greater possibilities.

This last week, we facilitated our program for a group of women who had previously served time in prison and are now in a program that supports them in creating new possiblities in their lives.  Their sharing and their stories are inspirational.  They are definite examples of achieving “things” in their lives that at some point seemed truly out of the realm of possibility.

In working with women, I have found that often times we are “our own worst enemy” as we judge ourselves, “should” on our ourselves, put up with our own negative self talk and doubt our worth when it comes to fulfilling on our dreams.  One of the ways that we can support women everywhere is to be respectful of ourselves and true to ourselves.

I invite you to honor women this week, because “Women Rock”!

In honor of International Women’s Day, I choose to acknowledge women this week.  Every day I will acknowledge at least one woman for a specific quality/characteristic that I admire about her – something about her that inspires and strengthens me.

What will you do this week to honor women?

Here are some websites about International Women’s Day:

http://www.internationalwomensday.com/

http://www.un.org/events/women/iwd/2009/

In honor of International Women’s Day, CARE is presenting a movie about the lives of three wonderful women who are making a difference in their communities.

http://www.apowerfulnoise.org/

Global Giving is supporting women around the world with programs that teach women in Afghanistan how to read, to send girls in Zimbabwe to school and provide micro-loans to women in India so that they can start their own business.   “We all know about the ‘multiplier effect’ empowering a woman will positively affect her family, her community and the world.”

http://linkbee.com/INA7

Please respond to this post, letting us know what will you do this week to honor women everywhere (including YOU)!

Posted by Donna Fisher

At the end of a heart wrenching show, Oprah said “Why are mother’s, in particular, so critical of other mothers when everyone’s just trying to do the best they can? We should network and use the network to empower ourselves and lift each other up instead of the opposite.”

Oh, so true. Networking is such an opportunity to create a powerful support system for good. As humans we have a natural basic need to connect, to feel a sense of belonging, to have a safe place to be ourselves, a place to contribute and to be part of something bigger than ourselves.

It has always been powerful for women to get together – especially women who are willing to connect and contribute to each other. The whole concept of networking is to have a “net” of support – a “safety net” that we can safely fall into when we need support, relief, and/or comfort.

So often people think of networking strictly as a business building technique. And yet the true spirit of networking is about people creating a community of support – emotional, physical, financial, and spiritual support! As was indicated in Oprah’s show, this is not just a good idea, it is a life enhancing and life saving idea!

Think about the possibility that we are here on this planet together to be of support to one another – to encourage and empower.  What would it take to quiet our judgmental minds and empathize with each other’s pains and challenges?

It is easy for us to blame others when things may not be going our way.   Just as this may be our knee-jerk reaction, it is equally difficult to take out the mirror and ask ourselves “what’s my part of this problem?”   However, Leaders can lead others by going first and identifying their contribution to the problem before engaging in the blame-game. 

Take a moment and shift this behavior in yourself, and get ready for better results.  When we look at ourselves first to see what we could do better, others will do the same.  Problems get resolved without making anyone get defensive.   In times like this, we can’t afford downtime filled with negative emotions, this technique is a simple tool to help boost productivity and enhance momentum. 

It starts with you.  Lead by going first.  Can you ask yourself  “what’s my part of this problem?”