Tastes Funny

“If you need to get in touch with me, I’ll be at Jamba Juice.”

John — Wed, 22 May 2013 16:14:59 +0000

I hope these two yo-yo fans were able to get together…

This is sort of like the female equivalent of the famous voice message disaster in the movie Swingers…

There’s just something about voice recording prompts that provokes this kind of monologging self-sabotage. That, and I think alcohol may have also played a part in lifting some of the usual filters in that first voicemail message.

Anyways, I just hope you call me back. Or, like, you know, surf back to this site. Cause I’d really like to see you again. You look really cute in those pants. And I’m single. Just sayin’.

Romania’s Pop Song Masterpiece: It’s My Life

John — Mon, 20 May 2013 18:07:08 +0000

Love is high… soooo hiiiiiigh!

This is the first song I know of to combine whump whump dubstep with a majestic male falsetto. I believe this Transylvanian hit is Romania’s entry in the Eurovision song contest, a yearly pan-Europe pop song bakeoff. That explains the bombastic camerawork and swirling show lights. It does not explain/excuse the haircut of Cezar Ouatu.

If you’re interested in more from Cezar, incidentally, check out this gem I unearthed on YouTube, in which he tackles the “Love Theme” from Romeo and Juliet:

I leave you with a reprise, the music-video version of “It’s My Life”. In it, Cezar skydives from a psychadelic airplane. I think all of us can agree that he is high. So high.

Dusty Annihilates Whiny Christian Kids

John — Sun, 19 May 2013 20:02:22 +0000

An angry man with a redneck accent named Dusty responds to a video where a bunch of Christian kids claim Christianity is under attack. He puts them in their place, proving that it isn’t under attack– or at least it wasn’t until he started:

Between Two Ferns with James Franco, The Lonely Island Boys and Ed Norton’s Gay Marriage Ceremony

John — Thu, 16 May 2013 01:43:02 +0000

Although this is tied to James Franco’s promotion of Oz: The Great and Powerful, I think you’ll see it is far more related to James Franco’s loony-ass turn in Spring Breakers.

Oh, and I guess you could technically say it is also related to James Franco’s gay sex movies (that Disney totally doesn’t want anyone to know about).

Sure, the video is humorous, but it’s also as good a bit of political advocacy, juxtaposing a colossally stupid heterosexual rite with a beautiful homosexual one.

So, next spring break get fucked up, flash yo tit-tays and yeah, wreck some toilets but please, please join the Wizard of Oz in helping men marry other men.

Ryan Gosling Refusing to East Cereal

John — Fri, 10 May 2013 20:28:02 +0000

This is the best Vine meme I’ve seen, apparently originated by @RyanWMcHenry.

It’s easy. Just find a clip of Ryan Gosling looking taciturn (he always looks taciturn) and pretend to offer him cereal. The results speak for themselves…

Here comes the plane. Here it comes. Open up so the plane can land. Open up so the plane can land. B-b-b-b-b-b-b b-b-b-b-b-b.

Dammit, Gosling! Open up for the pl– oh, forget it ab fab. Go back to giving smoldering looks and playing badasses with superior skills with motor vehicles.

What’s that? Oh, you just prefer Cocoa Puffs? What didn’t you say so earlier?

[Via reader LPO.]

The World’s Sh*ttiest iPhone Game?

John — Mon, 06 May 2013 22:23:46 +0000

Some guys at IGN may have discovered the world’s most awful mobile game. Truly, many levels of horrible:

I love their commentary. So many levels of lame-ness here in Super Monster Bros by Adventure Time Pocket Free Games — I wonder if you could have coded a better parody of a shitty game intentionally?

There’s a certain serendipity to the elements they used. (Serendshittity?) I imagine the folks at Adventure Time Pocket have a big wheel they spin with names of games that were popular in the Gameboy era. “Okay guys, our next project will be a knockoff of Super Mario Brothers using the characters from… *spins wheel* …Pokemon!”

I tried to ask them about their process, but they wanted me to “buy one 30 questions item for $0.99″.

Sexy Pool Party

John — Sun, 05 May 2013 00:35:33 +0000

What’s the key to looking sexy at a pool party? Watch and learn, kemosabe. Also, enjoy the surprise cameo at the end.

[via reader YVB]

Steven Spielberg’s OBAMA

John — Sun, 28 Apr 2013 22:09:14 +0000

The hit video from last night’s White House Correspondent’s dinner, a spoof of Lincoln starring Daniel Day Lewis:

You can see how it fit into Obama’s 20 minute roast of himself and the hacks at CNN:

And for good measure, watch 30 more minutes of Conan O’Brien political news jokes:

There was also a House of Cards parody starring Kevin Spacey and a bunch of Beltway insiders. Maybe it was funny if you really knew these people, but it came across as lame-O to me. You might google it yourself but I couldn’t possibly post it here. This website does have some standards.

Jurassic Park 3D: The Honest Trailer

John — Thu, 04 Apr 2013 17:18:47 +0000

Starring… Brundlefly, Two-Eyed Nick Fury and the Olsen Twins!

IF YOU LIKE THIS:
Honest Trailers does Indiana Jones and Prometheus
Dutch Children Terrified By Man in Dinosaur Suit

The IRS’ Horribly Awesome Star Trek TNG Parody

John — Sat, 23 Mar 2013 22:06:14 +0000

When IRS meets TNG, you get what some have called “Worst.Parody.Ever.” The $60,000 training video has actually landed the IRS in trouble, lately becoming the subject of a Congressional investigation into misuse of taxpayer funds.

As terrible as the parody is, it seems in good fun to me. Who doesn’t love some tax auditor humor? Considering all the things the government wastes money on, this piece of unintentional humor is the least of our worries.

Also, there is the sweet sweet irony that the IRS often busts people for taking personal movie projects off on their taxes. Now the shoe is on the other foot, or, rather, the communicator is on the other uniform.

Also, where can I get the Vulcan helmet hair? A bold new audit is required!