Personal Tao Musings

Happily & Unhappily in Love

2009-11-09T14:02:00.000-08:00

Finding a partner to share life with is a challenge.

Until taking the time to be with yourself and be happy with yourself.. focusing in on the inability to find another person to be happy with... is just an excuse to not to work on yourself...

This topic is a broken record.

The basic truth here is this:

Many people are happy at being unhappy.

It's a personal choice. No one can magically fix this.

Either be happy with who you are...
and then you find partners that match your nature.
Or be happy at being unhappy and always be in a shitty relationship.

Many people think they are working towards #1 but instead just focus at living in #2.

As Yoda said ”There is no try, just do” Pick 1 or 2 and work at being in the zone you want to hold... Of course people at #2 never will admit they are happy ... since they are unhappy.. It's the perfect catch-22.

nough said.

Plenty of people dwell and make their business in this zone of unhappiness. I don't spend any of my time propping up unhappiness. Oh it's possible to spend lots of money going to counselors and psychologists propping up such bad behavior. But its a waste of relationship (time) to do so...

No one can save a person not ready to be save... and likewise no cure exists for those stuck at being unhappy for their happiness... Which is why Taoism is so effective helping people since Taoism teaches how to release such behavior...

But only if a person is ready to release...

Namaste

Heartfelt Transformations

2009-11-08T10:27:00.000-08:00

I receive many touching heart felt emails. I received one today from India and I want to share my answer with a larger audience today. This answer echos a few other posts I recently made.

Here are two common themes within mid life transformation.

First Common Truth:

A person in midlife transformation will feel isolated and alone.

The reason for this feeling of being isolated, alone: is that the mid life transformation is often the first time a person is "truly" and fully connected to themselves. But more importantly it's within a new awareness of what life means in personal terms.

This is a very very overpowering place to be.

Know when feeling in this manner.

You are not alone, many are experiencing the very same process and that countless others are in the same place you are.

Guides who teach from your heart rather than from some outside truth exist. But for each true guide, hundreds of other guides pushing "outside truths" also abound. The trouble when chasing outside truth is that people end up going many different religions or spiritual paths that makes this all the more confusing of a process. Discover that outside truth will not fully answer questions regarding personal truth.

But it is OK to be "Alone" since this process is all about coming to terms with personal truth.

The Second Common Truth

The people who come to me, also often have a deep desire to reach out , to aid others and help people who are down in their luck. (this is also one of the reasons so many people are trying to help you with their "One" outside truth as I stated earlier)

But here is the secret that must be embraced:

No matter how many other people you are kind to, no matter how many people you might save or help discover "harmony" you will never discover balance, never resolve out your midlife transformation

Until you balance it out by being kind to yourself in even terms.

So to seekers in Transformation I also make sure they discover this before they go out to help others

A simple truth of:

Be kind to yourself also.

Namaste

Morning

2009-11-07T09:10:00.000-08:00

It's a fresh morning.

Waking up into: blue sky, sun

Waking up into: chores, commitments from the past that linger into the now.

Waking up into: sending out awareness. Feeling my heart.

Waking up into: family, connections , shuffling about to fit together

Waking up into:

questions... what is it that ...
questions, I leave open ended...
questions I dismiss to not matter...
since...

I am Waking up into myself. That can never be a question.

Answers are not that which matter in this mix. I dont want any ideas of what to make this into yet.

I am still yawning, still feeling and taking the time, the relationships that time represents to just be present.

Namaste

Finding Place and Discovering Home

2009-11-04T12:43:00.001-08:00

How do you find place? How to find the place which is truly called home?

It's fun to explore...

But finding a home, a place that supports your nature, is more than just exploring.

Discover how to taste potential. Feel out what it would mean to live there. Listen to the tenor of the people, chat to strangers in cafes, gas stations, libraries, main squares. Sit down and poke about the area and parks to get the feeling of the beat of any place you explore.

When imagining what a place is like, you also create a fantasy of what the best it can be. ( and miss the parts that get you in trouble later) Instead feel potentials, compare the potentials to your own life. Examine this relative to how it would be supportive to letting you unfold as a person. Talk to others to get the perspective you miss, reach out and connect to those who live it every day to get the normal day to day aspects of life.

If you can't connect to the people when visiting... then you won't connect if you live there later. Feel your own senses of how you release. If you feel tense in a place then it isn't a place to live, but if you breathe easier.. then follow that and look for the elements that make you breathe easier.

Over time you will find the conditions that match your nature and then when accidentally stumbling across your true home, it will become clear as the potential home it represents

A Taoist in training will wander the world to discover their nature. In this wandering you taste the potential of the world around you, and when you find the place that matches the needs of your own potential...

You discover

Home

Namaste

Prayer Stones

2009-11-03T23:48:00.000-08:00

I only have / (Had) one prayer stone. A beautiful Oval Amber / Jasper I found on the beach many years ago. The stone was carved with white whorls that swirled on the surface. It was a nice stone to meditate with and trace out the intricate paths on the surface.

It normally sat on my desk quietly. Today it called out for some reason. I picked it up and it was as if it said to me, today is the day you pass me onward. It had been called to be taken to a different place. I never question whims, so I placed it into my pocket.

We went up to Kapa' au today. Julie was teaching class and we go to the beach for a hour or so before class and take a break from our normal schedule. It was a nice day. Julie had a beautiful class. On the way home to Hilo we needed gas in Waimea. Instead of my normal gas stop I felt the urge that I should go to the other station... So again I know better and just followed that whim as the best path.

As I pull into the gas station, the fellow next to us started to pull out. He noticed my Personal Tao retreat sign on the car, He stopped his truck in mid flow, literally jumped out and excitedly started to talk to me. He began to ask me some questions about the Tao... But then strangely he jumped straight into a question about prayer stones...

I just smiled a big grin and thought to myself.. Oh so you were the one who called to my prayer stone!

I pull out the stone and gave it to him as a gift. He was very surprised. I said it was his stone to use towards his journey now. I explained briefly how to use the stone.

In 45 years I never had a stranger jump out at me and start talking about prayer stones... So as far as signs go, it doesn't get any easier that that to spot when and where to pass on a gift of connection.

He went off and I hope for his dreams the best of luck as he works towards a better life also. These are tough times and I got enough of his story in our quick passing to know he was in the middle of an important juncture of his own life that the gift would make a difference.

The universe is a far larger and more interconnected place than most people give it credit towards. If you want to change the world: just live kindly and listen to the whims of life when they speak up...

It are often the smallest whims which shift the winds of fate the greatest.

Listen with a open heart, and the connections that need to happen... will happen.

Namaste

Shape Shifting

2009-11-03T09:46:00.000-08:00

I am going to be the beach later today. To be one with sand and family.

Our form isn't just the shape of our body, Our form includes the movement of life and the shape that we create with our movement.

Today is a good day to practice shifting form in how to live life... As is each day. Yesterday I talked a bit about using awareness to look at one's larger form. Today, the follow on thought is:

Within your actions to live fully to your form!

But again action is more than just Body, it includes actions on many levels to compliment your entire essence.

Namaste

Lilies

2009-11-02T11:02:00.000-08:00

Picture of the night lilies out back.

We so blind ourselves paying attention on how we should appear. As example the lily glares out in the light here. Too bright to even see details

It often over overshadows the reflection of our soul clearly to be seen in the water below (but all too often faintly as this picture illustrates if you look), as our life flows.

It is in this fashion how meditation opens up our awareness to see our full nature. It isn't becuase our nature isn't to be seen, but more to the point in our focus of self.. We lose sight of the larger essence we project out as our nature. Meditation practices let us extend our awareness around us and deeply into ourselves, over just seeing what is at the surface.

Namaste

Trust

2009-10-31T21:22:00.000-07:00

Trust to dreams tonight

enjoy Samhain

and respect elder ancestors if they happen to pass by while crossing borders tonight. One never knows on such a night.

Namaste

The Children

2009-10-29T15:13:00.000-07:00

In helping couples navigate broken relationships. A statement I hear often is:

I feel sad when I think about the kids.

If you are going through this: Then consider:

This is a time to teach your children how to handle the situation for their own future life.

To hold onto a broken relationship, is to teach the children how to have and hold onto broken relationships.

If you live wisely, making sure you resolve your problems with kindness (by leaving or by resolution), it teaches the children how to be true to the heart.

(Staying in a broken relationship is never true to heart)

The truth:

More than ever this is a time to be personally strong, to live more truly to the heart and inner truth of being. To stand up and live life without regrets.

The children are learning important lessons of how to embrace and work to life in a growing manner.

Be kind so they learn kindness
Be strong and support your nature so they know how to stay true to themselves if they get caught in a bad relationship
Be wise in discovering an understanding that you are indeed a teacher for your family!

So teach lessons not to lose yourself but to live truly to your life.

Times like this can be far better than what is feared, if you take the time to truly be a teacher! This is a time and a chance to show the children how to fully live life: Not to expectations of others nor society...

Is there a perfect way to protect the children no! But the best answer is to always show by example how to fully be. So why not make this an opportunity to teach...

How to Live and to hold oneself to heart and personal truth.

Namaste

Wisdom

2009-10-27T23:23:00.000-07:00

Wisdom

So many seek what is already in reach

Go ahead to make it hard... We all love a challenge... wait not everyone

I am off to curl up and enjoy a quiet moment, everyone in the house is sleeping, the cat at my feet and I will just enjoy the sounds of the night chirping. Watching from the sliding door as stars as clouds play games of cat and mouse on a quiet autumn night...

Namaste

Teaching Stories

2009-10-27T00:47:00.000-07:00

All my students know of how I teach the way people view their life as stories.

I teach how to shift the way we view stories: to hold stories lightly and embrace stories from many angles in order to see the world in a more complete way. To see stories from angles of truth and falseness both.

I came across this Video today and it made me smile!

Chimamanda Adichie: The danger of a single story

Keep in mind the News system only projects single stories from an elite point of view. If you truly want to discover the world. Turn the mainstream news off: begin to share stories, both your own story (not the stories others give to you to think as being you!) and other people's stories.

This also means not to only project out a single story of your own life, since to do so likewise limits your own nature.

Discover life is not a single story... but rather all stories combined to represent a world of Humanity. Not as a single merging as our stories but as a collage of humanity to represent the hopes of billions of people working to become something greater.

Namaste

Poetry

2009-10-26T10:05:00.001-07:00

This morning I was transcribing my pocket notebook into a fresh new book. I re-looked at a poem I wrote in a plane a few years ago

Dancing with Clouds
is not a matter of flight
rather
discovering all
by letting go to fall...
Life's reign

Namaste

Moon and Lily

2009-10-23T22:24:00.001-07:00

Just sharing a moment of tonight

---------------------

The Water Lily blooms
Under the Moon
No words are ever said
The two converse lightly.
In open face greeting
The moon coming down to the lily.

I simply watch
Moved and then leaving
Two lovers alone

Hilo 10/23/2009

Namaste

Life

2009-10-22T15:01:00.000-07:00

The unexamined life is not worth living.

Socrates , in Plato, Dialogues, Apology

In reality: the chain of thought in Taoism would be

The unaware life is unlived
Casey Kochmer, Here & Now , A Personal Tao

Perhaps this summarizes a fundamental difference between East and West

I would add Taoism takes this a step further to behold life in terms of your potential. To behold each person in terms of their complete essence rather than define a person seen as a single event.

Namaste

Positive Thinking Versus Potential

2009-10-21T00:05:00.001-07:00

Thinking.

Thinking can shape the world... And then this concept is taken and pushed... I mean really really pushed. Mass marketing takes over to create best selling practices called "Laws of Attraction" and movies such as the "Secret" that prey and devour upon wallets of those seeking to buy solutions to life on the cheap.

OK

While money might be power, life answers aren't bought on cheap nor expensive budgets...Instead we each must shape ourselves and then in reflection grow to experience our life.

So I think the term "Positive Thinking" is a bit misleading. Instead, I prefer to think, teach and act in terms of Potential.

Yes: depending on the situation, I do agree it makes sense to teach some people initially in terms of positive thinking. This is the case for those experiencing a series of negative events. In other words: at times you need to teach counter balancing techniques for those trapped in focusing too much towards the negative aspects of their situations. So occasionally it's very appropriate to teach counterbalancing "Positive Thinking" techniques.

But to those looking into materials to read: I suggest walking past the "Laws of Attraction" as they represent a typical modern mass marketing solution to problems... It should be translated into "Laws of Consumption". Consumption by its very definition leaves seekers empty always wanting more... An ideal mass marketing ploy as it assures that customers will always come back for more of the latest techniques... to get more... See the viscous feedback cycle?

Potential

I personally feel we live in times of great potential. That is neither good nor bad, neither positive nor negative in a cosmic sense... Rather in potential much can happen. As such: we each can do much, as individuals, to live in a manner that is graceful & kind. I like to use "graceful" as too many people pushing agenda's and other more overloaded "terms" and "words" right now.

So despite the increase of preachers, pulpits, political posturing, economic wars, mass market spiritual healers and a countless list of other commercialized truths.

We also have access to a wonderful counter balance of people, normal people, just reaching to improve life and community... Just by living life as is.

I feel both honored and at the right place to truly explore our times and be part of the mix.

One step, day and moment at a time to just live in a way that explores the potential of the times: in a manner which we can look and say: Damn this is a good ride down the hill this time around. As we each tumble as children despite playing at being adults. In a world which the rules are not the rules.. but simply one of many games of exploration of living itself.

It's going to get very interesting indeed as groups continue to exert social controls at the very same time as individuals pull away as quickly: despite the rules and political boundaries shifting trying to keep up with people waking up to truly start living their life...

A day at a time.

Namaste

Today's Questions

2009-10-20T00:41:00.001-07:00

I got a series of Questions in an email

So here a few of the questions with answers colored in

Here in Sweden I can’t find any Taoist temples...

A temple is a place of spirit. Live your life fully, with grace. In this, every place can be easily transformed into a temple.

We call some places temple: becuase temple is the word we use to describe where people naturally release without effort... But in reality, this can be true everywhere if you are open to being connected to a larger world.

What does an ordinary day look for you?

The sun rises, the sun sets, I live in between

Day to night.

Dreaming in between:

Poking about in between:

so I guess my life is...

In Between...

It seems like "In Between" should represent something mystical, something almost untouchable... but in reality it just is my life from moment to moment. Fully present in each moment and then In Between moments: Just free and being me.

Are you meditating a lot?

Yes and No

Many times I practice a light form of meditation in between chores and during chores. I try to meditate in the morning most days. Julie and I would prefer to do so more often than we do lately... But the days and night have been extra full of late. So it means not as much as we would like right now.

Many schools of thought exist for meditation. For my practice, mediation is all about awareness. So every moment is an opportunity to expand your awareness: not necessarily to act upon, but to just be present within and explore.

At times we dive into it with deep awareness, at other times light awareness... Patiently you can assemble it all up into a more comprehensive awareness which can take you to some pretty wonderful states of being. No rush in any of this. It all connects up to the same places, it's just a matter on path and style.

Do you try to keep life as simple and easy as possible? Avoiding stress as match as you can?

Simple is a relative term... We live simply in America, but it would be complicated compared to other parts of the world.

How I work would be consider complicated to most Americans since I teach Taoism, counsel others, run retreats, work for a non profit and am a father. Likewise Julie works as a herbalist, teaches dance, helps run retreats, works at the same non profit and is a mother. Our day starts at 6 am and is not unusual to work till 10 pm.

But it's all in kindness and it does all come together. We never know how it will all assemble from month to month. Patiently we live it , trust to ourselves and kindness. It completes a circuit such that it all does come together.

Lately it has been more "Full" as we are also busily fixing the house and temple up. Of course we also live in a rain forest, so always something to fix or take care of... It keeps us busy.

While we have our harder days, we are human and always do our best to have our good days too. Life is to enjoy: not to work away. We work to live and as such our work always compliments the life we lead so the two are in harmony. That says something in America , and it's something I help teach others how accomplish. To find balance between Personal practices and lifestyle. And here is that pesky "In Between" Again ;)

Are you surrounded by people all the time or do you seek silence for your family some times?

I have students and those who I help from 12 countries now. People call when they need help and I have regular sessions to teach. So pretty much every day we are talking to someone or helping out some how, somewhere.

Likewise since we hold retreats, we have friends and students who arrange to spend concentrated time physically with us to learn in person... But it's paced and we make sure we have quite a bit of our own quiet time to minimize our stress from the long hours we work to. People have to arrange to come over since we manage our time to keep everything flowing smoothly.

Namaste

Potential

2009-10-16T18:58:00.000-07:00

Potential is raw

We can shape potential, our being, our form ... in so many ways...

So why insist on having someone else help shape your life... Why look to some predefined system of belief to discover what form you should take?

In working with so many people: I teach how to shape potential, but I won't shape another person. Instead it's teaching techniques and style required so a student can become their own master: to become their own sculptor.

Is it easy no.

It isn't a path for many. It requires patience, it means stepping through both good and bad parts of your life. It takes practice, it takes reflection so there is enough awareness to know oneself in the shaping.

I say all of this

Since despite my gentleness, crossing the storms of one's life isn't a gentle journey.
I say all of this

Despite what I can do, it's up to each student to step up and climb their life
I say all of this

As a reminder: it is a life worth living...

Because you must take the time to truly live it.

I am actually writing this post for a friend of a student. Who is trying to figure out why it would be worth going through what can be such an incredibly hard journey for some seekers.

It isn't about the teachings: it's about what is inside the soul. At times we must climb the mountain becuase we are ready to reach the top. It isn't about the teachings: it's about a person who has discovered incredible truth inside themselves. They are finally ready to climb the bad times to reach the top of their life.

One step at a time. As a guide I stay by their side to make sure a student remembers kindness. To remind students at times to take pause and to avoid potentials that lead to darker places... But in the end we each must carry our own burdens... No guide can do that for another person if they are to reach the top, and then truly claim it :

as their own.

Namaste

It's Friday

2009-10-16T00:15:00.001-07:00

Ah a busy week

Lets mirror Monday this aloha Friday.

Echoes of what we are:

We are all connected indeed and we often tether ourselves, our memories, to our wonderful new little devices. Of course those devices are usually far more public , traceable, trackable and not as private as would we think.

People tend to think of themselves as their past memories, I often teach to hold a few key memories but let the rest drift naturally away. If this is the case why hold on to every memory and tidbit if such past information is more and more useful against you than for you?

As we augment ourselves... increasingly so... : especially in terms of memory enhancement devices... wouldn't it be more practical to store general information in such devices and leave the private items to our minds...

It's a question of how the devices are used: since "smart" phones are becoming a vast collector bin of every aspect of our nature.

The following thought comes to mind:

So Ponder me this:

Why snapshot an entire personal life away to store into some device?

If we are truly immortal within our lives as Taoism and other schools of thought propose... then there is no need to fear losing memories in the larger sense. It almost seems the real reason to store such vast information away is to ironically share it more easily with others: which is exactly what happens when basing an entire lifestyle on such electronic devices. "Smart" phones are becoming the modern interchange to the collective conscious... a cloud of information that can be consulted and requested to provide much hidden secrets about each user.

So in the end I have no problems with any of these privacy issues, since it's a personal choice of lifestyle and how it is used by a person. The more one relies on networked devices for personal information, the more public and revealed a person by default will become. It's no mistake that some leaders are those who are taking the most proactive role in not using such devices, for this very reason.

The next decade is going to be very interesting to watch as people sort out this "personal" balance.

Namaste

It's Monday

2009-10-12T16:55:00.000-07:00

Today is a collage of items. I have the day off so I am using it to catch up on little things. I went outside to clear up a garden space. A swarm of mosquitoes decided to feast on me. That is life: eat and be eaten all in the same instant.

We are one in this food chain.

Afterwards I was online... did my daily run about the world, reading a few articles. The daily doom and gloom of you are being watched. Which is all fine and true. It doesn't bother me. If we are all one, connected and true to ourselves, it means we also watch the watchers...

We are one in the information age

So I went to my desk to weed out what has accumulated there.

I have a pile of notes on my desk. Topics to write about, scraps of wisdom to share and ponder. Notes about how to live in a patient manner, notes discussing the merits of thinking in various manners, meditation techniques, philosophy bits on the nature of stories and being "right",

I just took that pile and pushed it all to the recycle bin. As a Taoist I have no special attachment to knowledge or having to write reports on it. Occasionally I talk to myself across time, Sometimes a note from the past will germinate as an idea in the future... More likely than not, the notes get mulched and I have moved on to my next whim in the moment. Today I mulched it all.

A Buddhist quote from a conversation with student last night comes to mind

We have all the knowledge we need within ourselves already

This is my story from today so far. I will go on now: talk to some other students, help sort out some tangles. Tackle a few chores and then to make dinner, To further explore my meaning of time within being present in these relationships.

The following thought comes to mind:

People seemingly at times reach for immortality by having as many relationships as possible, to spend as much time with others, in relationship. Since time is relationship: people express this in many ways. Some hop from relationship to relationship like a butterfly jumps between flowers, other relationships are as a redwood tree growing to reach beyond the sky.

Taoism teaches we are already immortal within our own life: no need to rush, no need to place unbalanced needs into any relationship.

Instead discover relationship is a reflection of our heart and how we hold ourselves. Take patience , kindness and "time" to work within relationship as art, since it is truly a reflection of our soul.

As quickly as the urge comes to ponder, it also goes away, not to hold onto clouds, but to skip as a stone, watch for a second, smile at the ripples...

and

Now Monday moves on...

To do some chores

To skip one moment to the next.

Namaste

To all My Relations: Sympathy

2009-10-10T18:25:00.000-07:00

This is a bit over the top and sad:

Questions About ‘Sweat Lodge

Fingers will point, blame games will happen, People will Soap Box....

In the end people chase self help experts too deeply, it always has been an issue I had with the self help industry and Media Superstar "experts" who arrange such events that push people too far from their own nature with too little awareness.

Part of any spiritual experience is to push boundaries but to always also within one's heart and place of being.

Sweat lodges are an important, old and very deep tradition. Don't let this story scare you from having such an experience. This particular event seems to have been pushed too far and way beyond appropriate bounds (I find it disturbing they had over 50 people in a lodge in this fashion).

In any spiritual exploration, always remember to listen and be true to your center of being.

To all my relations. Peace and care to family touched in this event.

Gone Rogue: An American Taoist's Life

2009-10-08T16:57:00.000-07:00

TIME's Joel Stein was inspired by Sarah Palin's quick memoir turn around so he wrote one of his own — in a day.

Damn!

I will write mine in 5 minutes here and now:

Chapter 1: Childhood Trauma

I was born, got slapped by the man, kicked it back. So started my rebellious life. I have been fighting the man ever since.

Chapter 2: Turning Point That changed my life:

Her name was not known to me. I was 18. She walked by me on the streets. She swore at me, cussed me out, for not smiling and went her way.

I then knew my path was to change other people's life just by smiling.

Chapter 3: Rise against the Odds:

I left school just to live a normal life. Having been free, at times you need to give up freedom to discover new truth and what it is to truly be free later. It isnt about a "right" path it is about living, experiencing and then taking the time later to pull it all together with style.

Chapter 4: Celebrity Name Dropping:

We measure our lives by so often those who have made it, those who come to you and say: "wow you have your shit together".

The only difference is of course I walked away from money , power and celebrities years before. The only difference that mattered was once on a street, I sang poetry with a down and out woman named Peaches. Peaches was slowly dying in her wheel chair on a cold winter night on the streets, we just share poetry, laughing and smiling to each other. That was all that mattered in that moment.

Chapter 5: Playing with Rocks:

Really what matters is flowing with life, hopping from rock to rock in the river. I spent my youth , years, just doing that. I have returned to the river, Walking the Wailuku river, flowing with my life as it happens.

Chapter 6: Redemption and Recovery:

Recovery is an interesting idea, but truth is we can always be great. Even in the worse of times, we can find truth and work to become greater. Yes I had my hard years, but those years gave me a chance to grow and become a stronger healer, to make whole, not by fixing but by teaching life is potential and then activating your potential to live fully.

I live fully every day, and it will happen a day at a time

sincerely

Casey

I would like to thanks both Sarah (Going Rogue: An American Life) and Joel (Rogue Journalist: An Even More American Life) without their support I never would have written this Memoir.

I wish to offer each a smile :) and now back on my way...

Namaste

Kindness

2009-10-07T01:25:00.000-07:00

I saw this quote today:

The Dalai Lama always says:

"My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness."

The quote totally made me smile since I teach Taoism in terms of: Kindness. It's the one common thread of all my dialogues.

Religion doesn't have to be hard, follow your heart. Of course following one's heart when the heart is lost, can be challenging process.

To find heart, follow kindness.

The trouble comes when a few people try to control many. Kindness can never be truly used to control others. So instead too many leaders (religious and political) use unkind tactics for purposes of control. Hence, you find fear, conflict, forced conversion, segregation and so many other unkind tactics to force others to follow doctrine or laws. Such tactics are always self defeating since in being unkind, they harm the very person inflicting them. (But often this is only apparent in the long view of things, so kindness is tempered by patience)

Ask yourself: Am I living kindly? Do I treat others with Kindness? That is, do I treat others as if they share the same essence of life as myself?

If not then ask why not?
Examine any leader's actions and ask are they Kind? That is, do they treat others as equals?

If not then ask why not?

I suspect in digging, the reasons for any unkind act are towards trying to control something in an unbalanced manner. As a result all unkind actions will always create unbalanced situations.

If you are stuck, if you are trying to solve a problem that always seems to spin out of control, or if everything you try fails... Relook at the problem and try instead to use kindness in how actions are applied.

Remember Kindness is not: to always be nice.

Kindness is to treat everything in respect and as part of the same essence as yourself.

This is why applying kindness is such a difficult process to grasp. Kindness requires balanced actions.

To always be perfectly nice is as unbalanced as being always terrible.

More importantly, it's possible to retake what the Dali Lama says and state it this way

"My religion is very human

My religion is kindness."

In being human: it's a personal choice if we make it complicated or simple.

So many people are in awe of the Dali Lama becuase he chooses to make it simple. But the real point: It's a personal choice...

It's in every person's grasp to choose simple... So remember when you are tired of making it complicated, try simple for a change of pace.

Release making it hard... and live simply...

(This is another part of Taoism: teaching release paired to kindness)

Namaste

Healing Depression

2009-10-05T11:32:00.000-07:00

Lets start with a simple statement.

I suffer from depression.

Suffer is a good word to use, since as those with depression know, when you are in the negative spiral of depression, it does a pretty good job of shredding your mind.

I don't suffer from depression

Taoism teaches how to flip everything around. So I don't suffer from depression. Instead I embrace it, understand it, accept it, work with it and modify my life accordingly , in potential to shift my life in a positive manner.

I do experience "depression" and I do have to mitigate it's effects. I won't take medication since medication goes against my philosophy. Fortunately, my Taoist practice mitigates quite a bit of the effects of the depression when I do feel it.

It isn't easy to resolve depression in this manner, since it's a dynamic process: Full of practice, exercises, actions, philosophy and life style modifications to balance out my nature in a full manner.

I am not telling people they don't need medication or there are miracle cures. What I am saying is: Depression requires a definite understanding and acceptance of how you live life. That by shifting life it's possible to shift how any such ailment such as depression effects your life. A simple truth, if a person embraces such a truth it means it's possible to always profoundly improve life by positive actions.

In the end, It's your life: Will you be defined by a term: such as "depression" or will you let your life expand out. To let your life be full and how you then hold yourself be your actual namesake.

If you hold yourself as depression then you will be depression. Release that to start discover new names to define life by.

I don't suffer depression, nor will I think of myself in that way. I have my great days, my low days and the tides of my life ebb and flow. I walk the beach every day, and that beach is my life.

Namaste

The fine line

2009-10-03T12:40:00.000-07:00

I picked up a older woman hitch hiker today.

She was sweet, but broken. She mumbled a whole life story in 15 minutes to me. She was and is a ghost, a shade of her past memories and reflections. She looked at me for a moment and in her eyes I saw a glittering of spirit, but then it faded back to whispers of older stories. It was like having the wind in the car, her conversation muted echoes of her breath.

I dropped her off at the cafe she requested. We exchange kindness in a smile and went on our ways.

The line between being fully present in one's life or being disconnected, broken and a memory is a very fine one. It doesn't take much to shatter a person. Yes we are amazing beings, capable of becoming so much. But the flip side, we are always merely a few steps away from being broken ourselves. Every person contains their own cracks and edges which as surely as they can help you climb to great heights, can also take you down in a single heart beat.

I have walked with many many ghosts working with people on the streets over the years. It has given me a greater appreciation for the complexity of paths we can get lost within.

The point being to accept and understand both our greatness and fragility both, in order to stay balanced within one's essence fully and not lose oneself.

Its all too easy to get lost to become a ghost in your past experiences achievements.

Namaste

Let it Slide

2009-10-02T23:19:00.001-07:00

Some days you just gotta let it all slide on by...

Today's post was all about that

I use the word was

Since what ever I was going to post is long long gone, leaving me to ... slide ;)

Namaste