I let the comments fly, cause everyone has a right to their opinion.

Thinking deeper…

We put certain judgements on a parent, male or female, that stays home with the kids.

http://blogs.psychcentral.com/manic-depression/2013/05/14/the-stay-at-home-dad-let-the-double-standard-continue/

So, I ditched the appointment and was driving with my significant other and thought, he doesn’t know, he doesn’t know I skipped my appointment, why should he.  Should he?

No, cause he doesn’t know what’s up, or, why I decided I didn’t want to go so, there’s nothing to report. 

But why do I hide it?  It’s more simple then we think.  I don’t want him to worry about my mental health.  He doesn’t fully understand it anyway, so, it only becomes a weird red flag when really, it’s no big deal.

Nothing has changed all that much since the last time I went to my shrink so, what’s the point of dropping more cash on nothing.  No problemas here.  Same shit.  But why do I keep my mouth shut in the car.  Why don’t I say, “I skipped my shrink appointment today.”

Why?  Cause then it will be a big deal.  When it’s not. I know what’s up, and not everyone has to.

Woman hiding face image available from Shutterstock.

The impending publication of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition (DSM-5) has kindled fiery debate about whether Americans are being vastly over-diagnosed with mental illness or if Americans are psychologically sicker than they used to be.

The new “bible” of psychiatric diagnoses, which will be released later this month, includes new disorders relating to grief, childhood temper tantrums, binge eating, PMS, and painful sex (now called genito-pelvic pain/penetration disorder), among others. It has also changed how existing conditions—including oft-polarizing ADHD and autism—are diagnosed.

According to the new definitions the DSM-5 uses, some experts predict about 50 percent of U.S. citizens could be diagnosed as “mentally ill” at some point during their lifetime.

Experts and organizations have given their two cents on the whole thing, but I am interested in the viewpoints and stories of people who have actually grabbled with their mental illness. When I published my tell all book, “Inside the Insane” about treatment of the mentally ill in LA County hospitals, a lot of people were not happy with my insight, and said I wasn’t a “clinician” so my views were not valid. Ah, no.  Try living with a disease and experiencing it firsthand.  You can’t get that insight out of a textbook ok.

So, as a woman that was diagnosed with Bipolar II eight years ago, and has been through the turmoil of understanding and treating my disease effectively, my question is: Is mental illness finally being more thoroughly researched and discovered?  Or, are we using “mental illness” as a reason to pop more pills for non-neurological problems going on?

Like I said, I tend to be more interested in those who have actually been through their own personal journey of mental illness.  Let’s hear from those that are in the trenches, they know what’s up more so than most.

The full article is here:

http://health.yahoo.net/experts/dayinhealth/dsm-5-will-millions-more-americans-be-diagnosed-mental-illness

DSM-5 image courtesy of American Psychiatric Association.

Here are two examples of times I was stuck in a seasonal depression with days that highlighted my state of mind. 

 Poem: DECEMBER

I don’t want to leave my bed

Because I don’t want to dress

I’m not happy with my body

I don’t shop

Don’t want to enter a room with florescent mirrors

Deep ascension into a deeper cycle of self

Hate

The sand falls fast

Darkness engulfs me

I breathe in white air

That turns black in my mouth

Ascending down my throat

Into the abyss of my stomach

A void covered by rolls

Of fat that hide it.

Backwards efficiency.

 Poem: RUBY SATURDAY

Ruby Saturday

Smooth sailing through the weekend

On your couch full ass

A small coma

On your face

Under your skin

And steps to action aren’t written down

So when the morning hot sun

Doesn’t hit the leaves

On your balcony trees

But the sun now softly

Smoothly

On the green leaves

Lies comfortably

On the stem

It’s dusk              

Falling into night

And you are still there

In that chair

Wondering

When will it change

Inside

To reflect the outside time

Of the sun

Traveling on the street

Falling across

The neighborhood

Like a half circle moving in perfect circumference.

Dark winter photo available from Shutterstock

I’m not ashamed of my previous lifestyle cause I was sick in my disease, however, looking back there were signs of maniacal sexual habits that could have helped me get help much sooner than later.

Here are 5 signs to consider that you might be engaging in maniacal sex:

1. One Night Stands – You wake up in bed with someone you barely know. 
2. Patterns – The amount of sex you engage in mirrors your mood.  So, if you are experiencing a manic episode, expect to find yourself engaging in acts of maniacal sex which, if you recognize during your episode, you can try and slow it down a bit.
3. Dates – You date multiple people at once, and have trouble committing to one person.
4. Places – You find yourself having sex in inappropriate places, or engaging in sex in places you would never even consider unless you were experiencing a manic high.
5. Masturbation – You engage in masturbation way more than the average person.  Everyone’s different, but when you find yourself panicking cause you need sexual release you might consider yourself a maniacal sex individual.

There are always signs that are symptoms of mania.  Under the umbrella of mania, there are several symptoms, however, if you take one symptom, for example hyper sexuality, and break down your sexual experiences and habits, you might be able to recognize your condition and seek help fast.

Girl in NYC photo available from Shutterstock

Now, we seem to have a whole new double standard among us.  The Stay at Home Dad aka SAHD.  No problem! That’s awesome!  You are so great to stay at home with your kids!

But wait, women that want to be a stay at home mom are frowned upon?  Yes, in most cases they are.  Just like the double standard women face to be a supermom and have a successful career, women are not given the same reaction and attitude that a stay at home man seems to enjoy.

Why is that?  How is it possible that we celebrate STHD’s and sing a different tune when it comes to STHM’s?

Maybe all these double standards started with our patriarchal society, and somehow we never managed to free ourselves of that ideology so, opinions are still implemented and carried out by men so, of course if a man wants to stay home it’s alright. It’s welcomed.

Women’s opinions matter, and the only way to curb a double standard is to stop buying into it.  Stop frowning on women that want to stay home and be a primary caregiver, stop cheering for men that want to stay at home and be the caregiver.  It seems to be all out of whack.  And our attempt to progress as a society of equals doesn’t seem to be apparent very much in the household department.

What do you think of the SAHD?  Doesn’t he seem to get a break?

Dad and baby photo available from Shutterstock

When hindsight is 20/20 do we revisit those bumps, or just let it be?

It’s complicated. I suppose if we can’t mentally move forward without addressing problems in the past, then we have no choice but to address those concerns.  So it comes down to how much are you mentally obsessing over the past, and if it’s impeding your ability to be in an honest relationship, you might just have to clean up the past so you can move forward free from mental exhaustion.

Your mind will be the barometer of what you can take, and will  be the ultimate decider.

Couple on couch image available from Shutterstock.

Here are some signs it is time to take a mental health day:

1. Your Desk – The sight of your desk makes you take a deep breath cause you don’t feel like sitting at it.
2. Your face – Take a good look at yourself in the mirror and your face will tell you it is time to take time off.
3. Your Co-Workers – Your colleagues will know if you are not feeling it so, it is best to remove yourself from your work, and allow yourself to breath.

Now, you’ve decided to take your day off.  Now what?  It is imperative you maximize your time.

Do not let the following weigh you down:

1. Guilt – Don’t feel guilty about taking a day off from work.  Guilt ruins the whole point.
2. Justify – Don’t’ feel like you need to justify why you need time off. It’s fine.
3. Insecurity – Don’t question your decision to take some time for yourself.  Just do it.

Mental health day is one day.  Make an effort to set aside that day and make it yours. It will only improve your work, and, in the end, becomes an asset to your job. Call in sick without any hesitation sometime soon. You deserve it.

Unhappy man at work image available from Shutterstock.

I lost my hair last year.  I can’t blame it all on the antidepressant I took to help curb depression, because I was going through a rough time in my personal life.  During this time, I wrote a lot of poetry as a coping mechanism.  Recently, I looked at some of my work and it made me thankful.  It made me proud that I took a tough time in my life, and was able to honestly express the feelings you endure when you experience bad side effects.

Here are some poems if you’ve ever lost your hair.

POEM: ZOLOFT

I think I am losing

My hair.

Is it a sign of

Depression?

Or

Of the anti-depressant

I’m ingesting?

Why is my hair

Thinned

To

Thinner

To

Thinned out. 

Catching glances of your balding head

When you blow dry your hair

You notice it.

So is it depression?

Or

The stress?

It’s both.

POEM: HAIRFULL

Back when I had hair

I had hair full

Confidence.

Back when I had you

I had hair full

Sex.

Back when I had a job

I had hair full

Days.

Now that I’m

Without

All 3

I have hair holding onto…

Something

I have to find

To keep it.

POEM: MY HAIR

I lost my hair

I lost my hair

I lost it

Somewhere

Between

La Parilla Restaurant

And Spring St.

I lost it

Somewhere

Around there.

A heart

Like open pores

In the skin

Of the fallen hair

Tells a story.

Hair loss photo available from Shutterstock

7 Questions to ask your mom if she suffers from a mental illness:

1. Did your mom or dad have any signs of mental illness?
2. When you were pregnant, did you stop taking medication?
3. At what age did you get diagnosed with ____?
4. How long did it take you to find the right medication for your illness?
5. What was your life like before you were diagnosed with your mental illness?
6. What have you learned about mental health with your experience of living with a mental disease?
7. What would you want to say to future generations about mental illness?

Take some time this Mother’s Day to learn from your mom.  There is a reason the saying goes. “Mother knows best.”

Mother and daughter photo available from Shutterstock