• We’d generate extra revenue that could be invested in infrastructure.
• Guzzlers would disappear very quickly from our roads and people would drive smaller 50mpg cars.
• Carpooling would get a big boost. I could see people loading their bikes on someone else’s roof rack and pedal that last few miles to their final destination.
• People would move closer to work.
• There would be less overall driving which will take load and maintenance cost of our road system.
• Public transportation would also get a big boost, especially Metro Rails and longer distance Railroads.
• Local businesses would be better able to compete with dotcom’s since shipping cost would go up and offset some price advantages.
• Our car industry would become more competitive on a global level.
• The lower gas consumption would reduce our dependence from oil from Middle East. It will help our trade balance and also means less funds into an area that is not exactly friendly towards the US. We’d put an end to sponsoring some of our worst enemies.
• We would collectively burn more calories which would lead to less obesity and reduce the load on our health care system.
• Less cars on the road = less road rage. People are much more relaxed when the traffic density is lower. Unless they think about the cost of gas ;)
• Less cars and less agressive driving will also lead to less accidents and ultimately less fatalities.

These are some of the upsides. There are also plenty of downsides and the transition will hurt a lot.

Yes, on the downside we’d see inflation going up. Our money would buy less. Some people will go out of business while new jobs will also be created. The increase would have to be phased in to make the pain more bearable.

In my opinion this step would have a tremendous positive outcome in the long run. Too bad it is not going to happen. We’ll only see $10 gas once the oil prices drive the price up there. I’d much rather have us be proactive and keep some of that money in our country.

Last but not least:  Young people are already driving much less than they did 10 years ago . The miles driven for 18-24 year olds went down 23% and their use of public transportation is up by 40%. Many of them are getting their driver’s license at a later age.

Of course this is easier on paper than in real life. But finding closure is hard when you bring back old memories. It doesn’t matter if you still love or hate your ex. You want to become indifferent in order to heal and you are just giving power to your old thinking and feeling patterns.

You are going through some big changes in life. You have choices to make. You have plenty of options. Even though it is tough you could look at a break-up as an opportunity for personal growth.

You might start with asking yourself a set of questions and be very honest with yourself. Regardless of who and what caused the breakup:

• What where your shortcomings as partner in your last relationship?
• What did you learn about yourself and how you want to live your life?
• How can you avoid that your next relationship ends for the same reasons as your last one?
• How will your life be better?
• Where there any co-dependency issues you might want to address?

This is the time to look at areas in your life that you want to work on. It is time to add to your toolbox. If you were too outbound and too focused on your relationship then this is the time to reconnect with yourself. We are often vulnerable and open-minded in this phase before time has done the trick and helped us to heal. Think of being in a big cloud right after an explosion. Once the dirt has settled the opportunity to go a little deeper might have been missed. Some things you could have explored might be covered up already again. Once you feel better you will become less open-minded.

How do you actually start the process?
Grabbing some self-help books and reaching out to a therapist (you can call her/him your coach if that sounds better to you) for guidance and inspiration are the two paths I have followed after break-ups from serious relationships.

I’ve been very lucky to find books that really resonated with me when I needed them. I learned and read about co-dependency, highly sensitive people and about coping with loneliness. You will most likely have some other areas that are higher on your priority list. If you don’t then I’d recommend seeing a therapist – sorry I meant coach -  just for that one reason. Many professionals will see right through you and can make helpful suggestions on areas worth exploring.  They will quite likely have some books sitting on their shelves that will hit your sweet-spot.

The third area to look into are self-help groups. I have been in states of self-pity and it helped a lot to learn that there were others with a similar set of problems or challenges. It made me feel less special which opened me up to learn from the experience of others.

As for your next relationship: If you just got out of a relationship I’d recommend taking a timeout. I’ve had numerous unpleasant encounters with women that were simply not ready for another relationship yet.  I’ve been guilty of that same behavior after my divorce as well and it wasn’t fair to the women I met during that time. We clicked initially but I wasn’t able to form a close connection with someone else yet and my partners were smart enough to recognize that. Event though I was over my ex I still wasn’t ready for my next relationship. I had to learn that those two things can be separate.

Remember that you are also missing out on your personal growth project. You are planting some seeds and should give them some time to grow. You are running the risk of cutting this process short by engaging in a new relationship too soon.

I like this quote: “In order to find the one we want to be with we first have to become the person we want to be”. Every break-up should bring us one step closer to that.

Don’t get me wrong here: break-ups suck and I don’t wish them for anyone.  But we owe it to us and others to make the best out of them. Drugs, boozing, video games or watching endless TV aren’t going to move you in the right direction. You might as well go on Facebook and keep staring at the pics of your ex ;)

I remember friends telling me stories about the amazing experiences they had while being on drugs. I always felt that this would really suck. I love my kicks in life but if I’d create benchmarks that are off the charts of a drug-free life I’d be doomed.

I need my kicks and usually have no problem getting them. I feel that I have had plenty of natural highs in my life but maybe they’d be marginalized by some total awesome experiences while being on LSD, cocaine or something of the likes? I never wanted to find out. I know that I can get really into things and I’d be way to afraid that my life would get derailed. I am a control freak when it comes to my own life. I like maximum independence and being able to make my own choices. 

I like to live life to the fullest (don’t we all?). To me that also means to experience it the way it is. The good, the bad and the ugly. I refuse to numb myself when I am down and I don’t want any additional boosters when I am on a high already.

I want to remember what I did last night. I want to see the world in the colors it presents itself to me. I also like to keep my ups and downs in moderation and am not into any kind of excesses.

The only addictions I allow for myself are for coffee, a little candy and of course the endorphins that come with exercising. Count the Internet in as well if you wish.

I have no problem being around people drinking alcohol. When people are getting really drunk I disassociate myself. At that time the conversation becomes to lopsided and that’s where the fun ends for me. I admit that I am a little uncomfortable when people have been smoking pot. That’s because I don’t know if they are laughing at a joke of mine or just because they are stoned. I have no problem with them smoking unless they are still in their brain development phase (under 25). I just don’t beed to be around it.

Of course I’ve been asked countless times about my abstinence. At the end it is an abstinence from drugs but a strong choice for an exciting life at the same time. It can create brief moments of awkwardness in social settings when people first learn about my abstinence.

That vanishes very quickly when people notice that I am comfortable with them having some wine or beer and that I am anything but detached from their conversation.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t want to give anyone the guilt trip for consuming alcohol. These are just my choices. Yet I am strongly opposed to driving under the influence but the it is not my job to take care of those guys. The police is doing the job.

So me not drinking alcohol is really just a piece in the mosaic of how I live my life. It’s not that big a deal.

Make sense?

Yes this video is 6 minutes long but there was a lot to cover. Most probably you also didn’t know about the secret messages that the Foxconn workers often leave in the boxes before they are being shipped. Are you getting your device blessed by Steve Jobs before you are using it? Hmmm…

As an bonus add-on I am also including the ultimate quality control test.

The cost to watch this video is zero. If you feel compelled you might donate to the Lost Their Soul To Apple Foundation. They need lots of support.

Here we go…

She is by now on the other side of Facebook and her profile is currently fairly inactive.

• I remember her driving her Beetle wearing her trench coat, a hat and leather gloves. Quite a sight. That’s how she rolled.
• She smoked like a chimney, but of course only “light” cigarettes.
• She introduced me to Nutella. I had the first Nutella croissant at her balcony at the age of 6.
• She was married three times, but only to two different men.
• Her first and second husband shot himself. Her third husband died a day before my dad’s 13th birthday.
• During the war she worked as a nurse in Paris and later in Russia. She also gave birth to my dad in January 1945. Pretty crazy to have a baby when you are surrounded by rubble.
• She was a news junkie and always carried a little radio with her when she walked around in her apartment.
• She always asked what I wanted for lunch. If I shrugged my shoulders she’d say”Ok, we’ll just have cold as with pears”. That was a saying from the Rhineland area where she grew up.
• I heard that my grandpa was in a concentration camp. Somehow she got him out but no one knows the full story.
• She was a lady. But the time you would really hear her curse was when her little oil-powered heater wouldn’t come on because it was clogged with soot.
• Her phone number was 21443. Some things you never forget.

As a teenager I was living with my dad. Grandma had been living alone for decades. Her place was on my way home from school and usually I swung by for lunch.

Then things suddenly changed. My dad couldn’t pay rent. We got kicked out of our apartment. He moved in with his girlfriend and I was presented with one option: how about moving in with your grandmother? I wasn’t exactly thrilled. Most of my stuff went into storage. I went from my teenage room where you could barely see the wall into a room with bare walls and furniture that didn’t exactly match my personal style. I slept in a 40-year old bed that once belonged to my dad. My old apartment is still a legend in my hometown for the parties I threw when my dad was traveling. That wasn’t exactly an option at my new home. She had a tiny 2-bedroom apartment and I could hardly move in my room once I had my huge stereo speakers and all my records moved in there.

I was 17 and she was 72. Nice matchup. We were both used to have it our own ways. There wasn’t much space on 750sqft to escape each other.

She did a wonderful job in adjusting and trying to take care of me. She never made me feel unwelcome. Of course we pushed each others’ buttons and could drive each other nuts. I wasn’t exactly easy to get along with. Which teenager is? Plus these were the 80′s which presented one fashion shock after the other for the older generation. But for most of the time we had a blast. We accepted our differences. I don’t think I ever lost respect for her. I can’t speak for her end :) At least I didn’t turn her hair grey. Others had taken care of that before already.

She had a very dry sense of humor and we laughed a lot. We talked politics and watched the news every day. Eventually I graduated from high school and got my own place. The time with her was priceless. I wasn’t around when she passed away since I was living on the US already. I lucked out by getting to spend time with her when she was still at her best.

So there you have my 11.11.11 story. Who knows she might be trading WWII stories with Andy Rooney right now.

I heard of the great tragedy of your lead character going through a very painful divorce. I understand the family’s need for privacy. Kim and her sisters will need a leave of absence to heal and recover. Of course this leaves you with the great challenge to fill an open slot on your prime time schedule.

I’ve been thinking it over and even though I am fairly busy I am willing to make the sacrifice and step in. The problem is of course that my life is almost entirely drama free (I had a few branches fall of my tree last week and the landed pretty hard in my backyard. I also had a pretty rough Halloween weekend. This time of the year always brings up memories of The Wizard of Oz which is the scariest movie EVER).

But not all is lost: I could re-enact some scenes from my divorce that should satisfy the needs of your audience. I also have some Facebook friends that are total drama queens (male and female) and I am sure they are willing to step up to the plate when they are called to duty. One bad episode of Jersey Shore and they are having a melt-down, I swear. I might even be able to drum up 5 friends from my past live that will vouch for me being mental.

As for your core demographic: I am 45 but that doesn’t really matter. I can easily pass for 44 1/2. Most teenagers will say that I am totally lame. But we all know that they always say the opposite of what they really mean.

Since time is of the essence we should discuss the financial piece as well. I am willing to settle for $5 million per show. I am not looking to make any profit from this but of course I have a certain lifestyle to maintain and a rep to protect. My fee goes up to 10 million for each episode that would involved a marriage or divorce of mine. That will not include the rights to the wedding pics. I am already in direct talks with The Onion since they’d want to cover the event.

No matter how high your ratings will soar: This is only temporary. Once Kim is ready to get back on the air the slot is hers again.

As you can see, I am really easy to work with. You can leave a comment on this blog with your phone number and my agent will contact you.

Let’s get this over with. The sooner we get started the sooner I can have my life back.

On another note:
I noticed that Kim Kardashian is back on Match. Her status is listed as “separated”. That a big no-go for me. I am sure 99.9% of all other men think the same. Hopefully her “situation” gets resolved soon and her mailbox will fill up again. She seems to be a real sweetheart. Hopefully she won’t stay alone forever.

I need to talk to Perez now. He is a little emotional this week and he needs my shoulder.

1. Lame costumes
A lot of adults want to have some Halloween fun. The problem is that their creativity did get killed between the ages of 4 to 6. They are also afraid to stick out in any way which defeats the purpose of dressing up. So they play it safe and buy a generic pre-made costume or do a 20% dress up by wearing a silly hat. Or better, they wear a football jersey and looks just as inspiring as throughout the entire year. Here are some places to look at for inspiration: The occupy guys on Wallstreet had some creative costumes . There was also a guy dressed up as an iPhone , someone that created a see-through effect by using 2 iPads or another lad dressed up as a camera (that actually worked). That’s what I am talking about. It doesn’t have to be that elaborate. you can create things on a budget.  Also: if you wear a costume, don’t just stand there. Do something, connect with people, make it fun. Or just keep your sweatpants on and sit Halloween out.  Personally I love theme parties. It is a great way to challenge people to be creative and have some fun. We all need to stay arts or revive our artiness if it has been in hiding due to us growing up the wrong way.

2. Really sucky candy
The suckyness of the candy could actually kill it for their manufacturers. Here is how: parents are aware of the low-quality crap that is being handed out. Many of them don’t want their kids to eat it because they fear the trip to the dentist or aren’t too fond of their kids turn diabetic by the age of 12. What’s the way out? Some parents buy that crap from their kids. What happens next? They’ll save it and hand it out next year. Eventually we’ll all go full cycle. Candy will be given out but not eaten any longer. Due dates won’t matter. It will actually help if it is labeled as expired. The kids get money from their parents and can buy some organic, low-sugar, no-fat and gluten-free cookies or load their iPads with some math and science tutorials instead.

I’ve been thinking about playing the evil candy monster and hand out some stuff that actually fastest like something (Kinder Schokolade, Ritter Sport, some Belgium Butter Cookies…). Of course the kids would all get hooked and never talk to their parents again if they continue to by them the regular junk from the isles.

3. Haunted houses
With our looming debt crisis and the most incompetent bundle of presidential candidates in recent history we already live in a scary enough place. Do we need haunted houses at this time? We spend big bucks on standing in line, freeze you buns off and listen to someone swinging a chainsaw in the dark when all you have to do is turn on the TV and watch a presidential debate?

Full disclosure
I am spoiled by having visited the Carnival in Cologne. Half of our company is located over there and I have seen dress-up parties that put everything in the US to shame. We have a lot of catching up to do.

One of the “left-overs” of my family days were our two yellow labs Hershey and Coco. They were brought into the family under the premise of us living under the same roof.

I knew by the time we broke up that holding on to the dogs would be a huge burden for either one of us. Taking proper care of two dogs when you live on your own is a huge sacrifice. Having no family or other backup anywhere nearby was making things more challenging. I had to cater to their needs first and subordinate my schedule to theirs. This is especially hard in a phase of my life that is filled with traveling and many changes of my schedule and routine.  My neighbors that were getting annoyed with the dogs barking when they lacked attention because the house was empty. I had to leave a Thanksgiving dinner at my friend’s house at 6:30, just when dinner was being served.

Since me ex-wife decided to move out of state the option to share the burden was gone. I decided to find a family that would offer a happy and safe place for them. I never considered giving them up for adoption to strangers or dropping them off to a shelter home.

I put up an Craigslist ad describing the pets and their habits in detail and posted images that were descriptive of their characters. I made clear what my expectations would be. I was prepared for this to be a lengthy process.

I invited potential owners to my home and had them to meet the dogs and see how they interacted with each other. As a next step I decided to visit their place and make sure it would be similar to the environment our dogs were used to.

There were plenty of candidates that were interested in adopting the two dogs:

• There was the single guy living with 4 roommates.
• There was the contractor that wanted to drive the dogs around from one construction site to the other.
• There was the single mom that was working from 8 – 5 and wanted to leave the dogs in their yard.
• There was a family that missed their appointments to look at the dogs.
• There was the man with a dog run far behind their house.
• There was the mom with the 2 year old that could have gotten run over.

These might all be qualified dog owners but it would have meant a major transition for our two dogs.

I ended up finding a family that had tears of happiness in their eyes when they first met the dogs and then again when I brought the dogs to their home. The dogs get to lick many faces of happy new owners. They get to play with children which they are used to. They have access to a big yard that also serves as a playground. They can stay on their usual schedule with human interaction throughout the day. They get to stay together which was another important criteria. This family offers stability. They owned dogs before.

I knew this was a situation I had to deal with and I also knew that I’d feel bad regardless. We all have choices to make in life. Some of them are tough. This doesn’t mean that we can try to make the very best out of situations that are being handed to us. We owe it to others and ourselves.

I will miss the two bundles of joy. Knowing that they’ll be ok helps a lot in mitigating my feelings of guilt and pain.

PS:
Liana and Jacob, the new owners, are wonderful and their approach to the pets closely mirrors how the dogs were treated at our home. The one difference is the cat in their new home. Hershey and Coco set the tone by emptying her food bowl right away :)