tale|of|tilt

Happy Holidays!

noreply@blogger.com (James Westfall) — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 15:23:00 +0000

My Stand Up Comedy

noreply@blogger.com (James Westfall) — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 21:18:00 +0000

Strength in Numbers: Jarred Allen

noreply@blogger.com (James Westfall) — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 18:19:00 +0000

Thanks to Brandon Counts for the forward...this is rridiculous w/ 2 R's

Clinton Library Opens w Official Portrait

noreply@blogger.com (James Westfall) — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 19:13:00 +0000

MSOTD 11/12

noreply@blogger.com (James Westfall) — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 15:44:00 +0000

Could you please; just this one time, let me be myself.

JEFFREY DALE PHILLIPS
1885 OLD FOUNTAIN
LAWRENCEVILLE GA 30043
Admitted:
2009-11-11 18:48:00

Charges:
POSS. OF DRUGS RELATED OBJECTS
VIOLATION OF PROBATION

HCOTD 11/11/09

noreply@blogger.com (James Westfall) — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 18:35:00 +0000

Sara Jean Underwood

USRSF

noreply@blogger.com (James Westfall) — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 18:32:00 +0000

The Pentagon announced TODAY the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF)

These boys will be dropped off in Afghanistan and have
been given only the following facts about terrorists :

1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus.
5.. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt.

The Pentagon expects the problem in Afghanistan to be over by Friday

ROADHOUSE

noreply@blogger.com (James Westfall) — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 18:25:00 +0000

MSOTD 9/17/2009

noreply@blogger.com (Dr. Noisewater) — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 15:16:00 +0000

Kimbo Slice's real name revealed -- he was recently arrested in Atlanta area. Must be tough to do while competing on The Ultimate Fighter

GERALD DERICK HUDSON
1060 BRIDLE PATH DR
LAWRENCEVILLE GA 30045

Admitted:	2009-09-16 02:53:00

Charges:	BATTERY

Meet New Part Time Contributor and His Interview with Matt Ryan

noreply@blogger.com (James Westfall) — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 02:46:00 +0000

John Breech: Hey Ryan, you throw like a Girl.

Matt Ryan: At least I've seen one naked.

John Breech: So have I if your mom counts.

Matt Ryan: You keep my mom out this and I'll keep this (motioning to his midsection) out of your mom.

That's how I imagined this past weekend's arm wrestling match started. But unfortunately, if I told you that, it would be a lie.

Saturday's 'Over the Top' match with Falcons quarterback Matt Ryan went more like this:

John Breech: Dude, have you ever lifted a weight in your life? [see accompanying picture for lanky arms]

Matt Ryan: I'm a quarterback not a bodybuilder.

John Breech (thinking to himself): I bet I could take this wimp in arm wrestling.

Lesson of the Day: If you're 5'6" and 155 pounds, the chances are pretty great that you can't beat an NFL player at anything, let alone arm wrestling.

Although we'll never know if Matt would have won because the match was stopped before it could take place.

Apparently if you sign a $72 million contract with a professional sports team, they expect you not to put their investment in danger. In this case, Matt's right arm (his arm wrestling and throwing arm) would have been put in grave danger because I'm what people in the arm wrestling world call an 'unstoppable force.'

So instead of arm wrestling, we ate tacos provided by a local Atlanta taco chain (Twisted Taco) that supports the Steelers. And yes, I did puke it all up afterward, because if there is anything I hate more then the Steelers, it's taco chains that support the Steelers.

Also, I took Matt's empty powerade bottle and I will be selling it on Ebay, he has demanded a 10 percent cut, but I'm OK with that.

Finally, notice that he is standing up. What a cheat, everyone knows arm wrestling rule number one: no standing up. This tactic gave him an obvious leverage advantage, just for that, I'm not going to any Falcons games this year. I can't possibly support someone who cheats at arm wrestling and more importantly, I can't possibly support a team that's quarterbacked by a cheater.

Next Week: John plays chess with Carson Palmer.

After a long wait...We ARE BACK!!!

noreply@blogger.com (James Westfall) — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 02:44:00 +0000

Front Flip, Full Court Basketball Shot - Watch more Funny Videos

JOTD 4/27

noreply@blogger.com (Dr. Noisewater) — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 18:04:00 +0000

My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.

As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that 'Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super.'

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather Arabic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle.

'Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground.'

She calmly turned her head and said, 'In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one.'

To which the flight attendant replied,without missing a beat, 'Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray-up, Bitch'

Natalie Portman - HCOTD 4/27

noreply@blogger.com (Dr. Noisewater) — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 17:35:00 +0000

Waterpark Prank

noreply@blogger.com (Dr. Noisewater) — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 15:23:00 +0000

Skull vs Concrete

noreply@blogger.com (Dr. Noisewater) — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 18:58:00 +0000

Amazingly he gets up...where a damn helmet

Flying Whale Belly Flop

noreply@blogger.com (Dr. Noisewater) — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 18:46:00 +0000

Big Chick Belly Flops Off Slip-N-Slide - Watch more Funny Videos

Midget Thai Boxing

noreply@blogger.com (Dr. Noisewater) — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 18:43:00 +0000

Absolutely Classic

Man Shot in the Head 30 Times w/ Nailgun

noreply@blogger.com (Dr. Noisewater) — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 17:26:00 +0000

A SHOCKING X-ray shows how a man died with up to 30 nails fired into his skull
by a high-powered nailgun. Sydney homicide squad detectives have released the graphic image as they make a fresh appeal for information about Chen Liu's
murder. The decomposed body of the 27-year-old, also known as Anthony Liu, was
found dumped in the Georges River last November, wrapped in a domestic rug. He was bound with electrical wires and an extension cord and the carpet was neatly folded with each end tucked in and then bound with three strips of wire. Officers with Strike Force Renfree, formed to investigate the murder, have revealed they believe he was shot dead elsewhere and driven to the river in his own blue 2005 Range Rover Sport 4WD.

Detective Inspector Mark Newham said yesterday that post-mortem examination results had showed Mr Liu was shot repeatedly in the head up to 30 times with a high-powered nailgun. "Similar types of nailguns can fire nails up to 85mm long," Insp Newham said.
Detectives said the nailgun used in the murder was a standard cordless,
framing, gas-charged gun, widely available for sale and hire. Mr Liu was believed to be gay and lived with his partner in Rockdale. He was reported missing by a male friend two weeks before two children, aged 9 and 14, found his body in Oatley Bay. A migrant from China who arrived in Australia in 2000, Mr Liu married an Australian woman but they divorced some years ago and did not stay in touch. Detectives are also appealing for information about the movements of Mr Liu's car, a blue 2005 Range Rover. Insp Newham appealed for information from anyone who might have seen Mr Liu's car in Rockdale or Connells Point about October 19 last year.

Anyone with information is asked to contact Crime Stoppers on 1800 333 000

Danielle Lloyd - HCOTD 4/24

noreply@blogger.com (Dr. Noisewater) — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 13:02:00 +0000

New Apple Computer

noreply@blogger.com (Dr. Noisewater) — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 13:01:00 +0000

From the onion...pretty funny spoof on Macs

Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard

Don't Eat Scissors

noreply@blogger.com (Dr. Noisewater) — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 12:58:00 +0000

I am amazed at how often this happens...This guy was picking his teeth with some scissors and started laughing, you see what happened next

Addicting Game

noreply@blogger.com (Dr. Noisewater) — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 12:52:00 +0000

Dont. Let. The. Diamond. Fall.

Play Games at AddictingGames

Boy Finds Porn on His PSP

noreply@blogger.com (Dr. Noisewater) — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 12:51:00 +0000

Listen till the boy starts talking

MOSTD 4/24

noreply@blogger.com (Dr. Noisewater) — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 12:47:00 +0000

I wonder why his probation officer asked for a piss test

DAVID PERRY MARTIN
601 EBENEEZER CHURCH RD
JEFFERSON GA 30549

Admitted:
2009-04-23 12:00:00

Charges:
VIOLATION OF PROBATION

Jennfier Ellison - 4/23

noreply@blogger.com (Dr. Noisewater) — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 17:50:00 +0000