The Bilerico Project

Remember Hillary? She Still Needs Your Money!

nina@bilerico.com (Nina Smith) — Sun, 19 Apr 2009 17:00:00 -0500

Not too long ago, if you went to HillaryClinton.com, you found the 2008 presidential nomination race in high gear with Clinton winning more primaries and delegates than any other female candidate in American history. What a difference a year makes. Click through now and it happens to be sweepstakes mania. Yep, give a few bucks and earn a chance to win a trip to the American Idol finale.

Why is she doing this? (Technically, it's not her, but rather her presidential campaign committee... as Secretary of State; she is prohibited by federal law to personally solicit contributions). At the end of her bid, Clinton's campaign was severely in debt. Even after writing off the $13 million that she lent it herself, her campaign still owes millions to outside vendors.

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Social Currency: Leveraging Status

nina@bilerico.com (Nina Smith) — Sun, 15 Mar 2009 12:00:00 -0500

Since watching Randy Pausch's Last Lecture, I bought the audiobook version at iTunes and listened to it on my iPod. In one chapter, he recites a story about the time his wife hit one car while it was sitting in the driveway with their other car. She spent the better part of the day anxiously waiting to tell him about it when he arrived home that evening. Much to her surprise, he wasn't upset and said that the dents would be okay. His parents had taught him that automobiles are there to get you from point A to point B:

They are utilitarian devices and not expressions of social status. We didn't need to do cosmetic repairs.... We could drive around in dented cars. You don't repair things if they still do what they're supposed to do.
If your trash can or wheelbarrow has a dent in it; you don't buy a new one. Maybe that's because we don't use trash cans or wheelbarrows to communicate our social status or identity to others. Our dented cars became a statement in our marriage. Not everything needs to be fixed!

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Recession Woes Helping Gay Men Place a Higher Value on Love?

nina@bilerico.com (Nina Smith) — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 17:30:00 -0500

The gay dating service myPartner.com issued this press release today:

As the nation's economic news worsens, and Valentine's Day approaches, many gay men in America are re-assessing the value of true love in their lives.

"We've been hearing from our clients across the country that the recession has helped them re-prioritize," said Patrick Perrine, a professional private matchmaker for gay men, and the founder and CEO of the gay dating service myPartner. "Suddenly it's clearer to everyone that material things can be temporary, but finding the love of your life is priceless."

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Review: Uncharitable by Dan Pallotta

nina@bilerico.com (Nina Smith) — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 10:00:00 -0500

"What percentage of my donation goes to the cause?" Isn't that what we're all trained to ask when a charitable organization comes calling for money?

Dan Pallotta's new book, Uncharitable argues that this paradigm needs a shift and he's speaking out about how a for-profit entrepreneurial approach should finally be embraced by the nonprofit sector.

This isn't the first time Pallotta's name has been attached to controversial ideas in the nonprofit world. Most gays and lesbians will recognize his name (or that of his Pallotta TeamWorks) as the organization behind the very first California AIDSRide... you know the one... that grueling week-long bike ride from San Francisco to Los Angeles. It was a first in fundraising when he created this multi-day charitable event that required participants to raise mandatory minimums of two thousand dollars.

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The cost of moving beyond ex-gay movement

nina@bilerico.com (Nina Smith) — Sun, 07 Dec 2008 18:30:00 -0500

Ex-gay survivor and queer quirky Quaker, Peterson Toscano is a theatrical performance activist. His one-person show about how he tried to de-gay himself for a number of years is now available on DVD. As some of you might know, therapy and residential treatment programs cost money... and Peterson spent a lot of coin before moving beyond the ex-gay movement. That being said, he's paid a price for his activism too. Read on to learn what all this has cost him.

1. What will an ex-gay program such as Love In Action cost you?
First of all, it is not all about money. In fact, you will find that many of my answers to your insightful (and somewhat difficult) questions will go beyond dollar values.

When I attended the Love in Action residential facility in Memphis, TN for two years from 1996-1998, it cost me $950 per month. (I hear the same program today costs $7000 for three months.) That adds up quickly, but you have to consider the other costs before I entered this program.

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Review: How to Profit from the Coming Rapture

nina@bilerico.com (Nina Smith) — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 12:30:00 -0500

The Rapture is coming, the Rapture is coming! Oy!

This Christmas, I've found the perfect book for my family's white elephant gift exchange. It's called: How to Profit from the Coming Rapture... a snarky, how-to manual about where and when to invest when the world comes to an end. Of course, I'm the only one in my Christ-like clan that will need this advice since the gays are guaranteed (along with the Jews!) to be left behind.

Speaking of Jews, Ellis Weiner and Barbara Davilman, authors of the bestselling Yiddish with Dick and Jane, put this little investment gem together (may I call it a bible?). If you grew up in a church that thrived on "end times" storytelling, now is the time to finally profit from all those Sunday night altar calls. If you need me to explain what an "altar call" is, then you might not fully appreciate this book's humor. And it is classified as humor... at least according to the Library of Congress Cataloging system. My family is not laughing, but they are praying for me. Why?

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Back to Mike: Money, Career, Transitioning and Tolerance

nina@bilerico.com (Nina Smith) — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 17:30:00 -0500

"There is always more to be learned about tolerance." - Mercedes Ruehl, commenting on her Lifetime movie role as the mother of transgender child

Before starting Queercents, I had never interacted with anyone from the transgender community. Perhaps, it's just a by-product of living in a conservative area like Orange County, CA. I used to see a transgender woman walking regularly around the Back Bay, a nature preserve near our home. Once, I saw her waiting for take out at our favorite Mexican restaurant and I considered introducing myself. But then I couldn't think of an appropriate next line after telling her my name. As you might suspect, I never was the one picking up others in my bar-going days. I always needed a friend to provide an introduction.

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Eddie Ross from Bravo's Top Design talks Money

nina@bilerico.com (Nina Smith) — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 18:30:00 -0500

A second season of the hit reality show, Top Design, is back on Bravo with a new group of contestants trying to win $100,000. Eddie Ross, still designing after Episode 7, is one of a handful of gay participants this season and he's showing us some pride with his thrifty, flea market brand of style. It's always fitting to talk dollars when decorating one's living space and Eddie takes on our questions without breaking the bank. Enjoy!

1. If you win, what will you do with the prize money?

Eddie: When I was in school, home economics played such a huge part in my career path. Nowadays, they're not even teaching it anymore, and I think people are struggling as a result. Home Ec gives you the fundamental skills everyone should know in life--things like how to iron a shirt, how to do a load of laundry, how to cook basic items, like a simple hard-boiled egg. They're all skills most of us need to have when we start to live on our own, and it's sad to me to see younger generations not knowing them. When I took Home Ec, I was really interested in the lessons, but to most others, they were boring. If I were to win the prize, I'd start a campaign--something like Bring Back Home Ec--but I'd definitely make it fun for the kids, more like the pop challenges we had on Top Design!

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I.O.U.S.A: compulsory viewing for every dollar-spending American

nina@bilerico.com (Nina Smith) — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 19:00:00 -0500

"Capitalism without failure is like Christianity without hell." - Warren Buffett

I.O.U.S.A.: One Nation. Under Stress. In Debt. is the new Sundance-selected documentary that I watched recently. Michelle Orange of The Village Voice called it an "Inconvenient Truth for the debt crisis." The film addresses four deficits confronting America: the budget deficit, the savings deficit, balance of payments/trade deficit, and of course, our leadership deficit.

In the wake of the current banking meltdown, the film warns in a timely tone, "What's coming down the pike could make the subprime mortgage problem seem like a speed-bump."

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How do you handle errors on the restaurant bill?

nina@bilerico.com (Nina Smith) — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 10:30:00 -0500

"When you make a mistake, admit it. If you don't, you only make matters worse." - Ward Cleaver

Recently, my partner (Jeanine) and I ran a quick errand at South Coast Plaza, our local mall and as we were leaving we stumbled upon the new Charlie Palmer restaurant. We sat at the bar and ordered two glasses of wine, the cheese plate and a salad. The couple on our left and the woman on our right even offered a taste off their dishes . . . how friendly is that for Southern California? It turned into a little food fest on a Tuesday night.

Eventually though, I had enough of the impromptu party and placed my credit card where the bartender would notice I was ready to cash out. He took the card and then returned for my signature. I was still talking to the woman who had shared her SHRIMP KABOBS A LA PLANCHA TAMARIND CHIVE GLAZE, CAPONATA SALAD (fantastic, by the way!), so Jeanine opened the bill presenter. After reviewing the line items she said in a soft voice, "He charged you for the $40 Cabernet... what do you want to do?"

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Why lesbians should play tennis instead of golf

nina@bilerico.com (Nina Smith) — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 18:00:00 -0500

"I play more tennis than golf now." - Greg Norman, who recently married Chris Evert

Like typical lesbians, my partner and I enjoy the game of golf. But with each round, I'm always conscious of the cost. After all, my money personality feels tested every time we shell out $75 to $150 to tee off at a nice public course in Orange County or Palm Desert.

We recently used a gift certificate that offered two rounds at a nearby course. We had never played at this club before so I asked the guy in the pro shop how much a round cost. His reply: $178 a piece! We had a fantastic time, but not 356 dollars worth of fun... especially if I was the one paying for it.

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Are gay men wealthier than straight men?

nina@bilerico.com (Nina Smith) — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 18:00:00 -0500

"Spending is quick, earning is slow." - Russian proverb

According to a new national survey conducted online by Harris Interactive, nearly half (48%) of gay and lesbian adults report they like to keep up with the latest styles and trends. This is compared to only 38 percent of heterosexual adults.

Taking a look only at gay men in the sample:

More than half (53%) report they like to keep up with the latest styles and trends, compared to fewer than one-third (30%) of heterosexual men.

Nearly half (49%) report they tend to upgrade to the latest model or version of a product, compared to 35 percent of heterosexual men.

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Should Gays Move Back to City: Are gas prices affecting your life in the suburbs?

nina@bilerico.com (Nina Smith) — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 17:30:00 -0500

"Remorse goes to sleep during a prosperous period and wakes up in adversity." - Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Awhile back, a journalist was looking for stories from Queercents readers experiencing buyer's remorse in the wake of higher gas prices. He wanted to know if anyone bought a house in the exurbs when gas was 3 bucks a gallon and found themselves rethinking their decision now that the price is closer to $5.00.

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Ten Money Questions for Sabrina Matthews

nina@bilerico.com (Nina Smith) — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 18:00:00 -0500

Sabrina Matthews wears comfortable shoes and lives "amidst the doughnut shops and dude-speak" of Los Angeles. All this makes great fodder for her comedy routine while providing a healthy perspective on money, the housing market and getting paid to do what she loves. Laugh, smile and enjoy!

1. What was your first big financial break in comedy?
I once heard David Bowie give an interview in which he said he spent years never clearing any real money: the debts he had racked up and the people he needed to work with ate up all the profits. If I remember it right, he said "Let's Dance" was the first album from which he really made a nice chunk of change - and that was his seventeenth album ... I love Bowie, and he said all that in such a casual, un-self-pitying way; I think I always knew from then on that you had to be absolutely huge to live the way most people think rock stars and TV people live all the time.

Anyway, I guess I'm saying that my first big break came the first time I was paid to do comedy, because that was the beginning of the path most artists follow, which is trying to make enough money at their craft to keep working at something they enjoy. I guess the next big break was my half-hour special from Comedy Central, which let me pay off some debts. I haven't had my "Let's Dance" break yet, but I do make a living doing what I enjoy, and that's pretty great.

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Gays and lesbians should wed with their wallets.

nina@bilerico.com (Nina Smith) — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 18:00:00 -0500

"Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution." - Mae West

Recently, many of us in California had reason to celebrate as the State's Supreme Court ruled the ban here on gay marriage is unconstitutional. Since then, I've received many emails from friends asking if I'm going to marry my partner sometime after June 17th.

My partner and I have talked about this many times and always agreed that we would wait until it was recognized at the federal level. But we've changed our minds and we're heading to the altar. Although it won't be a summer wedding - we think it's best to wait and make sure the conservatives don't win the ballot initiative this November that would amend the state constitution.

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