The Bilerico Project

The beginning of the end

cathy@bilerico.com (Cathy Renna) — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 19:30:00 -0500

As I stood watching President Obama make his remarks about the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd Hate Crimes Act at the White House yesterday, I was struck by the history of the moment and also caught up in the emotion of the moment, both personally and for our community. After working on so many horrific hate crimes and knowing colleagues who continue to deal with the epidemic of violence against our community, I would have never imagined it would take over a decade for this legislation to finally be signed. But here we were, finally.

We had a spot behind the speakers, in the back corner of the stage. Myself, my wife, Moises Kaufman and Jeffrey LaHoste (founders of the Tectonic Theater Project, which created the Laramie Project), huddled teary-eyed. I had a wave of memories wash over me, people who we have lost to hate violence like Matt, Sakia Gunn, Fred Martinez and so many others. But it was my conversation with the two women behind us that really hit home.

It's easy for us to say it, but, as two women, straight allies who work at the Department of Justice put it: "This is long overdue." And I said right back to them "And this is only the beginning."

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March for the Cure

cathy@bilerico.com (Cathy Renna) — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 15:00:00 -0500

As we all wait for this weekend's events to unfold in Washington, from the National Equality March to the President speaking at the HRC dinner, there are many mixed feelings. Will people show up? What will the President say? How will the media make sense of all the different and often conflicting voices in our community?

As I get ready for the weekend - and as someone who will be at the dinner and the march - I hope that all of us can keep one thing in mind: what we really are up against as we fight for full and equal treatment under the law.

You see, the goals are pretty much the same, it's the way to get there that the we don't agree on. That said, we still need to address what Mitchell Gold calls the "pink elephant in the room." Religon based bigotry. I am proud to be working with his group, Faith in America, and carrying this sign as we approach the capitol building on Sunday.

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Remorse, love, and how we tell our stories

cathy@bilerico.com (Cathy Renna) — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 10:30:00 -0500

The is a article on the AP wire this morning about Aaron McKInney, one of the young men convicted of killing Matthew Shepard. It focuses on interviews with him that are part of the new Laramie Project 10 years later: An Epilogue, that will be performed in over 150 theaters on October 12, 2009.

(Full disclosure: I am on the board of Tectonic Theater and worked on this piece with a journalist I respect a great deal, David Crary. The headline is that Aaron has no remorse for killing Matt and also some disparaging things to say about Judy Shepard, both of which anger and sadden me. How do we create Aaron McKinneys in our society? Here's the piece, you be the judge.)

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Marriage changes us more than we change marriage

cathy@bilerico.com (Cathy Renna) — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 15:00:00 -0500

A new book by M.V. Lee Badgett, Professor of Economics, director of the Center of Public Policy And Administration at Amherst and research director of the Williams Institute on Public Policy at UCLA School of Law (phew, her business card must be huge!) has written a compelling and very useful addition to the debate about marriage equality.

When Gay People Get Married: what happens when societies legalize same-sex marriage is, given the tremendous amount of research and data-driven content (aka graphs and charts), a great summer read. Badgett takes a much needed look at how marriage equality is actually working in the place where same-sex couples have been marrying since 2001: the Netherlands.

Her verdict: marriage changes gay people more than gay people change marriage. Take that, Family Research Council!

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Welcome to Your White House

cathy@bilerico.com (Cathy Renna) — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 12:00:00 -0500

The title of this post is one of the first things President Obama said yesterday at the Stonewall commemoration at the White House yesterday. Were there cocktails? Yes. But this was not a typical cocktail party. Were there many "A-listers?" Yes. But this event should not be easily dismissed as an "A-list gay event."

In the past few weeks, there has been a firestorm of debate and discussion about how we move our community forward under the current leadership. I have personally been very vocal about how our impatience should be a motivator, something to be channeled in a smart, assertive and effective manner.

Yesterday was another opportunity to do that the best way I could, so I did. Want to get past the sounds bites and headlines, as well as what I think is the less productive intra-community attacking that is happening?

Read on.

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Sitting About the Gay Campfire of History

cathy@bilerico.com (Cathy Renna) — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 09:30:00 -0500

I quipped to a friend about 2 hours into one of last week's events, a reunion of the Gay Liberation Front;

All we need is a small fire and some marshmallows. This is like a gay campfire, ghost stories included.

And it really was.

There were about a dozen member of the GLF, each taking a turn at telling a personal story of their involvement in this early gay liberation group, and it was an eye-opening, exhilarating and sometimes exasperating experience to listen to these pioneers talk about what it was like to be out and an activist, in the early 70's.

The change has been extraordinary, no doubt about that. It was gripping and terrifying to hear about routine violence perpetrated by the NY City police on members of our community who dared "flaunt it."

Sadly, a lot has not changed, particularly the challenges we face internally as a community.

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One small step...

cathy@bilerico.com (Cathy Renna) — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 15:30:00 -0500

The past few days have been a whirlwind for the LGBT community, but for those of us in DC particularly so. Working with the Family Equality Council, whose Executive Director Jennifer Chrisler attended the Oval Office signing of the Presidential memo granting SOME benefits to federal employees, it was particularly so.

As the dust settles (somewhat) on this and we get up to another day and continued struggle, I hope that all of us can keep what happened yesterday in perspective and also hold on the reality of the situation we find ourselves in as a community and as a nation.

This is one small step for us, as Jennifer said over and over to reporters, but we have a "country mile" to go.

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Behind The Scenes at D.C. Pride

cathy@bilerico.com (Cathy Renna) — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 12:30:00 -0500

So what really is the best part of working behind the scenes at one of the largest LGBT Pride events in the country? The longtime activist in me says it's the clean bathrooms with no lines and a truck full of cold water, but the queer kid who has still not grown up (at least not yet) takes away a memory of watching, hearing and feeling thousands of us make the air vibrate and the ground shake while Martha Wash sings "It's Raining Men."

Here's bit of a peek behind the scenes at Capital Pride - the best Pride parade and festival DC has seen in years. It was a great example of what we can do as a community when we work together and a tremendous display of what pride really is all about.

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Chaz Bono Transitions: A Few Memories of His Work at GLAAD

cathy@bilerico.com (Cathy Renna) — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 10:30:00 -0500

It was announced yesterday to much fanfare that Chaz Bono is transitioning from female to male. The child of Sonny Bono and Cher, Chaz was someone many of us grew up with when his parents hoisted him on stage at the end of their variety show.

But after coming out, Chaz did something many celebrities - or children of celebrities - do not do. He tried to leverage his fame for the community. Initially as a spokesperson for HRC's National Coming Out Day, and then as an entertainment media director for GLAAD.

It was while he was at GLAAD that I got to know Chaz a little, and wanted to share a few of these stories since they can hopefully give the community a better picture of someone we all feel like we know.

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Bruno: are we in on the joke or the butt of it?

cathy@bilerico.com (Cathy Renna) — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 12:00:00 -0500

The upcoming release of "Bruno" on July 10, starring Sacha Baron Cohen as a "flamboyantly gay fashion reporter" is prompting a lot of discussion and an MTV stunt involving Eminem and Bruno that needs to be seen to be believed. If you have not seen it you are probably living under that proverbial rock.

So here we go again - another round of navel gazing and debate about whether or not this film is good, bad or defamatory. Or all of the above. Like every other subjective thing in entertainment, it is all about context and intent. As I explained to a New York Times reporter the other day about the film, our community will have many opinions. This is still shocking to some journalists, although this reporter was well aware. My standard anecdote - that if you asked ten gay men when they thought of "Jack" on Will and Grace, you would have four hate him, four love and two that are are him. But let's talk about Bruno.

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Driving Mr. Kameny

cathy@bilerico.com (Cathy Renna) — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 11:30:00 -0500

Last night we kicked off Capital Pride week here in Washington, DC. The opening event is one that I love for many reasons, not the least of which is that it is held inside (gotta love the humidity here). The "Heroes" reception honors people in the DC area who have contributed to the LGBT movement and last night there was an exceptional group. In fact, in recognition of the 40th anniversary of the Stonewall uprising, the organizers named a few "super Heroes." One was Dr. Frank Kameny.

If you do not know who he is you are in serious need of a history lesson. Frank is one of the principal founders of the modern LGBT rights movement, founder the Mattachine Society in DC and has been a vital part of so many historic moments in our movement - from removing homosexuality as a mental illness in the DSM to our fight for equal treatment in the Federal government workforce. I have always taken as an omen (a good one) that his first protest in front of the White House was held the month I was born (April, 1965, do the math).

And while the event was amazing - Frank's speech was a highlight - the most fun and fabulous part for me was volunteering to pick Frank up and take him home after. It's the least I could do for someone on whose shoulders we all stand.

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Better than the Eminem/Elton John duet at the Grammys

cathy@bilerico.com (Cathy Renna) — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 17:00:00 -0500

It seems that Slim Shady had a new friend "drop in" on him at the MTV awards. From today's USA Today:

Sacha Baron Cohen is at it again.
...
In character as Bruno, the flamboyant Austrian fashion reporter, Cohen, clothed in angel gear with a visibly bare bottom, was lowered from the rafters of Universal Studios' Gibson Amphitheater and landed smack on Eminem's face. A visibly upset Eminem said audibly "Are you (expletive) serious?" and tried to swat away Cohen. Members of Eminem's entourage attempted to extricate Cohen from Eminem's face. Moments later, cameras caught Eminem storming out.

Given the upcoming release of "Bruno" (let the discussion begin: homophobic or well-meaning parody that makes fun of homophobia) and the new Eminem CD - with new, fresh homophobia from Slim Shady - this seems like an apt metaphor for the debate we are about to have about both projects. And of course the perfect marketing tool for a controversial piece of subjective media- which is one thing both of these projects have in common.

Discuss.

Memorial Day with the family

cathy@bilerico.com (Cathy Renna) — Tue, 26 May 2009 11:00:00 -0500

My family ended up having the most " traditional" Memorial Day I could think of - completely unplanned. While visiting a cousin in Fallas Church, Virginia we decided to take in the the local fair and parade. It was like something out of a movie - Knights of Columbus driving the teeny cars, politicians, etc but if you looked closely you saw the change in America - even in Falls Church, VA. First, there was much more racial diversity that I had seen in a long time - many Asian and Southeast Asian families. After a harrowing 4 rounds on the giant inflatable slide (Rosemary is very very brave for her age), Leah and I had to take turns doing it with her, we played in the playground with some other families who were super friendly. I wonder if they know my family would have no legal rights in VA if we loved there.

The most poignant image though, was the Falls Church Republican Club. There was - and I will say this as nicely as I can - a truly decrepit looking white man who looked to be in his 90's. Nice shirt and slacks, but clearly not well, hunched over and alone at the booth. If that doesn't sum up the GOP right now I don't know what does. I should have taken a picture but, frankly, I felt pity for him. I thought a lot yesterday about our brothers and sisters serving in silence, their partners and families who wait at home in fear and solitude. I was thrilled to see a few events commemorating their service in Atlanta and other places, but this issue seems to continue to be ridiculously elusive to solve. A friend recently pointed out to me that countries with marriage equality only achieved that after integrating their military for gay servicemembers.

Something to think about as we put another Memorial Day in the books.

Hollywood on the Potomac

cathy@bilerico.com (Cathy Renna) — Mon, 11 May 2009 15:00:00 -0500

The White House Correspondent's dinner this past weekend was amazing. If you took the Oscars, the Grammys, a convention of the MSM's pundits and anchors AND Obama's inauguration it would basically describe the crowd. I was honored to be there, invited by my friend and a true LGBT community treasure, journalist Ellen Ratner. Here are some random thoughts and observations, since so much has already been said.

While walking into the pre-reception with my friend another great LGBT community member, Dr. Jack Drescher, I told him my picture policy: people I respect. That means out LGBT people only and our allies. It was a but overwhelming to see Sting, Rev. Al Sharpton, Whoopi Goldberg, Keith Olbermann, Bill O'Reilly and Bon Jovi on one area, surreal almost. I have been around plenty of celebrity wattage but this was a blinding experience. It was great to see some of our communities best and brightest - Phil Wilson, Deb Price and her wife Joyce Murdoch, Jonathan Capehart - the crowd (as insanely filled with politicians, journalists and celebs that is was) really looked like America.

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Cathy Renna: Then and Now

cathy@bilerico.com (Cathy Renna) — Fri, 08 May 2009 11:30:00 -0500

THEN

I willingly wore a dress. This changed after age 7.
I made funny faces in all photos.
My parents grudgingly bought all new toys for me when I rejected my sisters hand me down like Barbies. Although I did have my GI Joe (realistic lifelike hair!) kidnap the Barbies on occasion.
I began playing baseball little league with boys and pursued that until I was summarily forced to play softball with the girls. I became less interested in the sport but liked my teammates, well, better.
I am sure I was the only third grader to ask for a microscope and animals to dissect for Christmas - and got them.
My lesbian aunt became a major obsession for me and whenever they came to visit I went like a bat out of hell on my bike to see them at my Uncle's house. This is when my parents started to suspect I was more than a tomboy.
I was allowed a canary - and that was a concession - as a pet. My parents hate animals in the house and I once caught hell for bringing the class turtle home for Christmas break without asking.
Teen years were hellish in many ways but I was blessed with supportive family and teachers (many of them gay). They saved my life. The lesbian aunt helped too.
I spent summers in Italy, on a Vespa, on the beach and generally in heaven since girls (and boys) walked holding hands and arm in arm. La dolce vita.
I was surrounded by boys in high school. One evening, when I asked my Dad if he always knew I was a lesbian, he replied " in high school, when I let you get into a van full of boys and you said you were going bowling, I let you, right? Did I let you sister do that?" 'Nuff said.

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